I wrote this in my phone a while ago in the memos but never published it anywhere. So here it is! i updated some of the tips.
Positive thinking really helps me a lot and I know it helps others. It doesn’t always cure all problems or always take away all pain instantly and it’s certainly not always easy to do but it sure does help to be happier and more filled with gratitude.
I recently had the urge to write a negative status on Facebook about my new phone to complain about how it doesn’t work perfectly or as well as I would like it to work. I also recently considered writing a status to curse my life for feeling depressed, beyond just sadness and for suffering with a chronic pain disorder(tmj dysfunction ouch!!!) that can be very severe and so incredibly hard to handle.
Then I realized what a spoiled brat I was acting like about my phone. Lmao! What if I had no phone? Or what if my phone was only able to make/receive calls or just be able to call and text?
I am beyond blessed with this beautiful life.
I realize that some people, on some occasions while experiencing pain and negativity would benefit by hearing how much worse it can be and being suggested to think positively while other people do not want to hear that at all and would become worse off and very aggravated and disturbed even if those thoughts were provided with the most sincerest and well intentions.
Many people who are unhappy and struggling do not want to hear “Think positively!” Or “It could be so much worse!” No matter how helpful thinking positively may be and how much worse it really can be, those suggestions often just hurt people more. Many just want someone to care and listen and be present. So when handling an unhappy/hurting/suffering person, we may want to think again about saying those things. I think it’s ok to gently tell or remind ourselves that or say those things in general to people so they can be reminded but it’s not always helpful to people who are currently suffering or struggling and not always wise to suggest it to them directly even in a loving way.
I scolded myself for acting like the little brat and reminded myself that while life and technology often bring many, many problems, it’s better to have them than not because I believe that they bring or have the potential to bring more good than bad.
If you think about it, would you prefer to have the advanced technology that we have today along with the many negative consequences it brings such as crashing, working imperfectly, being lost, stolen….or not have it at all? Many people will answer this differently. I, myself, prefer the technology along with it’s bs than not at all. It let’s us have access to the internet, social media, and many, many more great things.
It’s the same thing with life itself. Would I prefer my life along with the pain it sometimes brings or no life at all? Usually, I prefer my life. And often even when I think I prefer death, I don’t really prefer death but just want my pain to end, not my whole life.
I get my life confused with my pain or think the pain is too bad and permanent so I prefer or think I prefer death over life.
I realize though that just like our advanced technology that we often so incessantly complain about, life itself, is a beautiful blessing and to be blessed with it means to have to hurt or suffer every now and then.
It’s the price we pay for having something so great and beautiful and often complicated or seemingly complicated.
I will try to always remind myself of this when I think about, contemplate, or come close to ending my life (this is something I struggle with occasionally because of my bouts of extremely severe depression) or unnecessarily complaining over something frivolous . It helps me to think positively and I believe it would help most everyone if they give it a try. It may or may not work instantly but if practiced often and well enough, it’s sure to work wonders at least occasionally.
I struggle with depression as well as physical pain so I know intimately how difficult and sad it can be to live but I have found so many coping mechanisms and techniques to help me often see it through. They aren’t miracle cures but they help ease the pain.
Everyday, often, even through the pain, I have a deep and strong attitude of gratitude for all I have. And I hope that everyone can find the strength and coping techniques to help handle and allay the pain that things in life can often bring.
Here are some things that help me and may help other people too. Not everyone will benefit by the same coping mechanisms. Something that helps one person may not help another.
1.) Focus on the simple things that aren’t complicated, positive things that are readily available to you. (Flowers, stars, friends, music, books, uplifting pictures…..). Take pleasure in and be grateful for them.
2.) Whenever you catch yourself saying or thinking something bad about yourself and unnecessarily/destructively criticizing yourself make it a point to write down or at least think three or more good things for every bad thing.
3.). Celebrate (even if it’s only in your mind) and praise yourself for all of your accomplishments even simple or small ones. This is not conceit or arrogance or self absorption, it’s treating yourself good the way you treat others like your friends and family and other people you like or love.
4.) Do things for yourself that are fun or relaxing to you and be sure to have occasions throughout your day where you attend to yourself and not just other people.
5.) Similar to the other tip about thinking positively about yourself, think positively about life in general. Look more at the positive in everyday even when it’s difficult. Don’t ignore or deny the bad or negative but get your mind in a pattern for focusing more on the bright side. And get in the habit of actively looking for positive things then this can lead to unconsciously looking for the positive in everyday.
6.) Vent to a true/good trust-worthy friend or in a journal (notebook or online). Public or non public. Anonymous or not. But be aware that when you tell certain people or post publicly you may be negatively criticized. Try not to take that too hard though. When people don’t understand things or when they are afraid or unhappy with themselves they often want to drag others down.
7.) Try to get out of the environment that is negative or causing you stress. If it’s your physical environment and you can physically get up and go then go! Take a walk, exercise, go someplace magical or that you love! If you can’t or don’t want to move physically then take a little mental vacation! Meditate, guided imagery (imagine you are somewhere else), imagine, dream. You can find steps to these online. Get lost in your imagination. Let it run wild!
8.) Make a list of positive, uplifting songs and play them over and over!
9.) Coloring books! Or draw and color. To me coloring is so soothing!
10.) Buy yourself flowers.
11.) Talk to yourself in your mind how you would talk to your friend or another who needs cheering up. 🙂
Take your own tips.
12.) Help someone else in need. Even if you don’t know the person. Write something positive online. Buy a homeless, money-less person a cup of tea or coffee or water.
13.) Read jokes or think of other things that amuse you! :-). Laugh out loud until it hurts in your belly! This always cheers me up!
14.) Try not to let an unhappy day or days make you feel as if your entire life is bad.
And try not to consider any day a “bad” day. Any day you’re alive is a great day!
15.) Read uplifting and inspirational quotes! ❤
16.). Remember it’s ok to have unhappy days and bad moods so don’t mentally abuse yourself for feeling unhappy or angry, sad, or depressed.
“I will keep a smile on my face and in my heart even when it hurts today.”