Archive | November 2012

Bullying vs. Kindness

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I know bullying in various forms is a common problem these days, bullying of all degrees, minor negative comments said to people occasionally all the way to severe vilification directed at people constantly. As well as threats and physical violence.
This happens not only to young children and teenage children as many believe but even to adults of all ages in the workplace or other places.
This is heartbreaking and tragic.
Everyone makes mistakes, some worse than others. Everyone has something that someone else will perceive as a flaw. Everyone has something that can be pointed out and made fun of. All people are susceptible to being the target of lies being made about them and things being spread about them that may or may not be true.
And everyone is susceptible to bullying for any reason!
The most popular, beautiful, powerful person can become a target for bullying.
And very often bully victims are targets because others are jealous of that person because they feel that person is somehow better or more fortunate even if the victim doesn’t feel that that’s true. Or because the bully is unhappy with his/her own life or self and feels compelled to take it out on someone else.
Please remember that bullying an innocent person no matter what the reason is the bully is doing this for is always, always, *ALWAYS* the bully’s fault, never the victim’s! There’s no such thing as a person bringing this on him/herself for being a certain way.
Just like when a woman is sexually assaulted no matter how she is dressed, intoxicated/drugged/prostitute/promiscuous/flirting or not, out late at night or not, alone or not, it’s always the sexual predator’s fault, never the girl’s.
And one person can convince many, many more people to go along with him/her and torment/bully another person. People often go along with a bully so they themselves don’t become the target of negative attention.
Please remember, if you or someone close to you or someone you know is being bullied at work or school or anywhere, that the victim is not the cause and does not deserve it whether the things being said about the person being bullied are true or not.
No matter the weight of the person, the physical attractiveness, the sexual orientation, skin color, ethnicity, disability, intelligence level, family situation, mistakes the person may have made….or whatever the person does not ever deserve the torment.
If you are being tormented/bullied anywhere for any reason please know and remember it’s not your fault and you never deserve it and no matter who the bully is or how many there are doing this to you, it doesn’t matter, they are no better than you!
They usually feel powerless themselves inside and feel the need to abuse power over others.
And even if you have no close friends now, it’s always possible for you to find wonderful, loving friends later so please keep hope alive and keeping moving forward. You are bigger & better than this.
There are people out there who can love you for you and accept you and everything that you are, flaws and all.
Focus on the people who love you for you and forget the rest.
People who want to hurt you over and over do not deserve you in their lives. You deserve better. ❤ And you *CAN* do better. Even if you have to wait a while. It's worth waiting for.
Remember even if you have what people consider flaws and even if you made mistakes that is ok. You are still a person and do not deserve the bullying. Everyone does things wrong every now and then. Then we move on and forgive ourselves and try to learn.
And just because bullying severely affects you doesn't mean you are weak. Bullying often has severe emotional and long-lasting effects on the victim even years later.
But you can learn to grow, overcome, and heal.

Stay strong and focus on YOU!!! :-). No one is better than you in any way.

X0x0 Kim

P.S. We should all show kindness to others in general and go easy on the negative judging/criticism. We should uplift people, not drag them down. And you never know what battles/pain someone is currently facing and a few kind words can really go a long way for the better and a negative remark can do severe damage. So let's show a little (or a lotta) love. ❤ 🙂

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My reasons to smile today & a special thank you to anyone who reads, likes, & shares my blog or specific entries <3

I have been sick for the last two days and today. I’m prone to frequent kidney stone attacks. Sometimes, when a kidney stone is present I have constant pain but sometimes the pain comes in unbearable waves of excruciating misery.

Also, when I have a kidney stone attack I usually get extremely ill with hot and cold spells, sick feeling all over, dizziness, and weakness, and just an overall feeling of not being weImagell.

But even with all this I have been in an extremely grateful mood and able to easily see all the beauty around me and all the blessings.

So I decided today to list my reasons to smile and hope it helps inspire others to see amazing things around them no matter what may be going on.

 

1.) I love the holiday season and everything it entails: gingerbread people, hot drinks with whipped cream, wreaths and Christmas trees, snow, and cheerfulness, holiday music, and more. I love it. ❤

 

2.) Sweet cold weather. Love it.

 

3.) Beautiful songs I have just downloaded onto my phone.

 

4.) Beautiful teapots and nik knacks my little sister bought me.

 

5.) Beautiful friends. ❤

 

6.) Stumbling upon an inspirational song I have never heard of before and loving it. ❤ Standing Knee Deep in a River (Dying of Thirst) there are different versions but the one I have come across is Joe Cocker’s version. I love his voice and very soon I will dedicate a whole blog entry to this topic of this beautiful and lovely song. 😀

 

7.) I was blessed with the pleasure of seeing big beautiful snowflakes falling today. And rain. Which I absolutely love. ❤

 

I want to thank everyone who likes or/and shares any of my blog entries. I truly appreciate that people read what I have to say and like it. Thank you so much!! Please if you have a blog or website and want me to share here on my blog or on my facebook account, e-mail me and let me know! I love to help out. I’m not the best at html. In fact I’m kind of the worst! Lol. So my blog isn’t as pretty as those who are html experts or just really good! But I plan on having some good content on here! ;-). My e-mail is jacq04@temple.edu

Or send me a facebook message with your link:

kimberly.mccarthy3@facebook.com

You can request me as a friend but even if you aren’t comfortable adding strangers, I will still share your link even if you don’t add me! I add just about everyone as long as the person requesting me doesn’t come off as just a mere troll liking to stir up trouble or a person intolerant of other people or diversity.

But for the most part, I add everyone who requests me! :-). I love meeting and getting to know people.

Thank You all again!

I truly cherish you. ❤

And knowing that just one person sees and likes my blog or some entries is great because my goal is to positively touch and inspire anyone I can.

 

“I will keep a smile on my face and in my heart even when it hurts like today.” ~ Og Mandino 

X0x0Kim

It’s raining leaves & love «3 <3 :-) :-D

ImageI wrote this a few days ago and tried to post it but my phone or something wouldn’t allow me so here it is today!

Yay!

When I woke up today I was so hot even with my window open and air coming through. It felt more like Summer than Fall. I love warm weather and the warm seasons but after Summer & Spring should be over, I am definitely in the mood for the magic of the lovely Fall & Winter seasons! <3. 

I wasn’t complaining about the weather. All weather has it’s blessings and beauty. But I won’t deny the fact that I have experienced a tinge of disappointment. It has been so incredibly warm here in Philadelphia, Pa and I have felt that the beautiful opportunity for Fall as been taken over by excessive warm weather. But anyway. Warm weather is lovely too and there’s no sense complaining.

But when I was sitting in work I noticed that it started to get very cool. Then all of a sudden, something magical and wondrous happened! It started raining leaves!

Lol ok not literally but it sure looked that way out the window!

The street where the store is that I work at is surrounded by beautiful trees. Many of the branches are now bare and some have crisp fall leaves flowing off and gently landing to the ground.

Suddenly there was a whirlwind of leaves that just started blowing off every tree on the street because of the wind and it looked beautiful and lovely like a splendid Autumn leaf storm! 

😀

I also got to thinking about how blessed I am to have the positive work environment that I have.

I know the most wonderful people at work.

Since my mom and dad made me move to a new neighborhood when I was young, I haven’t been blessed with many close friendships. For a while, I actually had none and it caused me deep pain to have no connections to other kids.

Then when I came to college I had to leave my school friends and we lost contact a lot and it was not pleasant. There were moments of unbearable loneliness.

I’m shy and in my neighborhood there was never many kids my age so that combination added up to me being kind of friendless for so long. I wasn’t outgoing enough to go out looking for friends and there was no opportunities right around me like when I was little.

Also, I haven’t always been very close to most of my family either other than my mom, dad, and, sister. My sister is over 10 years younger than me. That’s a significant age difference for kids.

 My loneliness got so extreme and often I began to feel not only unloved but un-lovable, also because of some verbal/emotional abuse that has happened in my family. And when I finally found a couple close friends I still struggled with loneliness occasionally even when I wasn’t physically alone. And depression sure doesn’t help that.

I still don’t have many friends or always get to see the ones that I do have as often as I would like.

But at work I am blessed to be surrounded by great and beautiful people that show me incredible acts of love so frequently.

I began to notice this more and more.

I read about a technique that people can do to bring more love and a sense of love into their lives. Make a list each day of acts of kindness and love shown to you by anyone who has done something loving towards you. This will make you feel more loved and appreciated.

People do little loving things every single day that may go almost un-noticed by the receiver. But when you open your mind and heart and begin to be more receptive, you’ll notice at a deeper level.

I haven’t written anything down but I now see more and more how much people do for me.

They go out of their way to help me and compliment me often and smile at me and say hello and I appreciate it more than I can say. And I truly hope they can feel and see my gratitude and love. I’m always saying thank you. And I help them as much as I possibly can with whatever they need.

Are there people showing you kindness and love that you haven’t even noticed or noticed as much as you could have? Look at all the “little” and “simple” acts of kindness that you are receiving day by day. They are actually greater than you may have realized.

When you let them, they can touch your life and brighten your days with tremendous impact.

When someone holds a door for you, offers you a sweet and genuine compliment, has a pleasant conversation with you, trusts you enough to tell you something, smiles at you, is sincerely interested in how you are today….all of these things are amazing acts of kindness.

I hope that you can all feel the amazing love all around you. ❤ 

living the high life :-) <3 :-D

I love this song by Steve Winwood: “Back In The High Life Again” and in that picture below is one of my absolute favorite lines in the song.

I get the feeling this song is about how this man is taking back his life and beginning to own it and take responsibility for it and be happy. 

 

“…don’t be surprised to see me back in that bright part of town.” ~ Steve Winwood

 

This line says it all. He is extremely optimistic and expecting great things and planning his future in a positive way. I love this.

I love his songs. Not just this one. He is an excellent singer and his songs are wonderful and beautiful. ❤

:-D. So inspirational.

Please check him out!

His songs are so uplifting and incredible.

I will be posting more blog entries with more of his and other lyrics too that are uplifting and inspirational.

 

X0x0 Kim ❤Image

repost: live every day as a thank you

I believe gratitude should be felt, practiced, expressed (in any way), and celebrated all year long. Not just during the holiday season or holiday. And not just when a big special event occurs. But all year, every day, every waking moment.

This is definitely easier to say and write than put into practice. Even the most happiest and grateful people usually find some moments where actively practicing or expressing gratitude is just undesirable, maybe even seemingly impossible and just too much to ask for. 

How can you feel gratitude when you’re depressed? Or sick? Or in the midst of tragedy or an extremely stressful event? Or even during a simple “bad day”?

There are various ways to feel it even during those occasions but it will be hard. But very worth it! ❤

It takes practice. Many of us have moments where gratitude comes easy and most of us have moments where gratitude never even crosses our minds even when those moments are good and amazing. While we are appreciating the moment, we forget to actually stop and consciously allow gratitude to sink in and overflow throughout our being, and let it bubble in our very essence. 

If you allow yourself to do this every single day all throughout the day for both simple and small things as well as big things, it will be easier to feel and express gratitude even when sickness falls over us and we are struck by tragedy.

During the holiday season people preach about thankfulness over and over and over again but how soon we forget when the season ends and the holiday festivities are over until next year. As if every day, every season is not worth a thank you. Or not a blessing. Why not let the cheer go on all year long right into the next year and beyond?

:-D. I think that’s a good idea.

Gratitude lists and journals are the way to go!

Make a list of at least five things you are thankful for everyday! Big and small things alike!

And make mental lists throughout the day!

Get into the positive habit of seeking and finding things that are worthy of your gratitude. That is extremely easy because just about everything deserves a “thank you”. 

I hope everyone has a beautiful day/night and blessings to you all. ❤ 😀

 

P.s. In the picture above, I’m wearing my cornucopia heart necklace which is sterling silver and a symbol of gratitude and abundance. ❤Image