Raindrops Keep falling on my head

(my little man, Emmy. He’s nine months old!

“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” – Mahatma Gandhi 

“There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.” ~ John Michael Holmes

Hello lovelies,

I haven’t been doing much lately but laying in bed with my little dog and sharing inspirational quotes and pics on Facebook and reading old plays and books. I can’t put much serious thought into anything. 

I recently suffered a head injury and it’s really affecting me. I never got it checked out, professionally.   It doesn’t seem like an emergency and I have no way to pay for medical treatment.

I walked into a bar on my bed in the dark one early morning and I drifted unconscious for a few moments, I think.   It was a hard blow.   I.cant remember much about it.  The pain is getting worse and so is my.distorted thinking. And my.senses and memory are a bit hazy. It got hit on one side but the pain is now through my. Whole head. 

I’m also dizzy & confused off and on. And light-headed and my speech gets a bit slurred. My body feels sickly now and seems like I keep faltering to the right side which is the side that got hit.

But none of it is constantly unbearable. So that’s good! 😀

I’m so thankful it did not trigger my tmj pain condition. That tends to happen when my face or head gets hit/touched certain ways.

I still have to work.a.couple hours some.nights at the store but it’s sloww so it’s not too hard.

It feels like i.just want to lay in bed and sleep, it’s making me so exhausted and i.get over 12 hours of sleeep a lot now. It doesn’t help.

I have been thinking about loneliness and healing. I noticed sweet, simple memories help me.when I’m lonely. And I. Was thinking about the importance of living in the moment and creating new pleasant memories.

I have been having frequent flash backs just out of the blue, of things that happened previously. It’s sweet and pleasant to remember something happy that happened. 

I was also thinking of someee other things that help ease loneliness. 

1.) Helping people in any way, even simple ways like smiling at people, making eye contact, sharing inspiring quotes & pictures.
I often feel deeply connected with people and feel at One with all that is. I love this feeling.   But I also tend to feel lonely sometimes and it can get severe, a kind of choking loneliness that feels it will never go and it doesn’t matter how many people are near me. It’s like a barrier nothing can break through. But it always goes eventually. 

2.) Remember feelings come and go and can be delusional.   Just because we feel very lonely doesn’t mean we are really alone or that no one likes us or we really have no one. There’s always hope.

3.) certain songs and quotes 

4.) making plans for the future

5.) distractions, books, fun, healing activities, arts and crafts, writing

6.) if you’re physically alone and feeling lonely, use your physical alone-ness  to do interesting things you can’t do as well with people around,reflect, ponder certain questions, learn new skills,meditate, read something you always wanted to read,listen to music …instead of dwelling on your loneliness or unhappiness being physically alone. As much as I love being around people, I realize it’s also good to be alone now and then so I can catch up on stuff I  can’t do around people because it would be rude or they will disrupt me.

7.) reach out to people, write a message to someone you know or someone you meet online. Send someone a compliment or idea or feedback on a blog, fb status….

8.) pay close attention to your pets if you have them.

9.) Remember occasional loneliness is ok. And humans are social creatures.   Parts of us need contact with people, we need friends to fulfill us in certain ways.

10.) learn to love your own company, think positive thoughts about yourself, focus on your good qualities, laugh out loud, don’t deny yourself pleasure

11.) Remember not to put your happiness on hold for “better” things to occur. Live now.

12.) Smile. 😀

My phone has been acting up.   Soon I will be doing a master reset and lose all my files to see if that works and if not a new one is in order!

Luckily it’s insured!   ;-D

Smile, loves,it gets better!!

“Those raindrops are fallin’ on my head, they keep fallin’

So I just did me some talkin’ to the sun
And I said I didn’t like the way he got things done
Sleepin’ on the job
Those raindrops are fallin’ on my head, they keep fallin’

But there’s one thing I know
The blues they send to meet me won’t defeat me
It won’t be long till happiness steps up to greet me” ~ BJ Thomas

Xoxo Kim 😀

Gratitude Meditation <3

“While there is time let’s go out and feel everything” ~ Steve Winwood

I have been meditating more regularly than usual and have been doing more gratitude meditations, usually at night before sleep.

It has a serious, positive effect on me. Not just while I’m meditating but all day when I wake up. Even with less sleep I feel more energized, more alive, more awake, and aware.   And more grateful.  

During my meditations, I have been overwhelmed with powerful emotions coming over me, flooding into my consciousness.   One emotion which has been so strong is grief.   Grief over my dog who died in April this year of old age, grief over broken friendships, grief over people who died, grief over the years I “lost” to depression, grief over people I once knew and let slip away, grief over years gone away, into the light of yesterday…

I’m not exactly sure why this is. I know meditation has the tendency to bring about strong emotions which we have pent up inside, emotions we repress or deny. But I haven’t been denying my grief for the most part.  I have grieved so hard over my losses, not denying them.  But grief over a loss, especially a permanent one, is not easy for me to handle. There sometimes comes a point where my grief reaches a pinnacle so great, it’s too painful to bear so I do try to repress it, not deny it but just push it aside.  Maybe my meditation practices are bringing to the surface of my consciousness, the remnants of initial grief I kept locked away.

It’s possible to repress things or have thoughts or feelings without even realizing at a conscious level.  The experience of my grief flooding back to me during meditation is not bad, it’s good.  It allows me to experience and release.  It is painful though.

Also, I have been gaining some fascinating and deep insights about creativity, beauty, open-mindedness, and seeing various things in different ways, at different angles.   I feel even more empathetic and compassionate than ever.  More creative and enlightened, like the beginning of some awakening that’s difficult to put into words.

Everyday I acknowledge gratitude and being alive.  Sometimes I just think of things I’m thankful to have and the fact that I’m alive.  On other occasions I actually feel gratitude seeping into me at a deep level, flooding the cells of my body, tingling and sinking into the marrow of my bones, just flooding over me. 
And I feel so alive, absolutely fully alive.
Sometimes this feeling comes on out of nowhere, other moments I can tap into it intentionally.  And other occasions I feel ungrateful and not appreciative. Or numb, trudging around in a sense of stagnant drudgery. 

I don’t have to just be happy to feel so alive.   I have felt this in moments of grief and pain, anger, and heartbreak. Life is full of happiness and joy and also pain and heartache. So if we’re alive and fully receptive, we will experience it all.  And it’s beautiful to feel so utterly alive.

I want to pull in and embrace every emotion and feeling that comes to me, snatch it up and hold it close while I can, even the painful ones, as they are an indication of life.  So life-affirming.

I want to feel everything while I can.

I want to take full advantage of the gift of life, my blessing of being alive and conscious.

Since practicing these meditations more regularly I have been feeling the deep gratitude feeling more frequently each day, not just acknowledging things I have to be grateful for, but the feeling of gratitude living and breathing, dwelling in my cells, venturing through my veins and each artery, and each breath of my heart.  The gratitude and life that breathes in me.  The gratitude that floods my existence, caresses my very essence.

It’s so different than the depression & despair that generally consumed me for years.

How often do you truly feel alive? So alive that you can feel every sensation in your body and notice every thing outside of you? All the colors, feelings, textures, lights…of your external environment, the tingling in your toes and fingertips…so alive on a deeper level than what we usually feel everyday..

Even in monotonous moments and routine environments?

“I will live while I can, I will have my ever after” ~ Steve Winwood

“We go so fast, why don’t we make it last
Life is glowing inside you and me
Please take my hand, right here where I stand
Won’t you come out and dance with me
Come see with me, oh, come see” ~ Steve Winwood

One very interesting thing is I have been feeling somewhat distracted during meditation the last few nights. I usually do not have this problem too often but I have been, lately, so I have been doing, let’s say, “half-assed” jobs at meditating and still seeing incredible results. So imagine what I’m capable of when I get over my distraction and give it my all!  

I have been struggling for a few days with not feeling very grateful as much as I possibly can. I have been having annoying technology problems with my phone that won’t allow me to do things that I do every day.   Also, I just found out a man I have known for some years and talked to frequently, recently died, of a possible drug overdose and I am so sad.  He was so friendly and outgoing and kind.  He struggled off and on with alcohol and other drug addiction and attempted to get help on multiple occasions.   But we lost this battle and it’s devastating.  And my heart goes out to everyone impacted by this tragic loss.

And to everyone affected in any way by any kind of addiction. It is a devastating and heartbreaking struggle.

It’s often easy to feel and express gratitude when things are going well.   But what about when it seems that everything is going wrong, all wrong, when we have a heavy heart, a broken heart, when the world seems to be crumbling on top of us?   When we lose and lose again, sinking so low it feels we can’t go lower, then we do?  That may be when we need gratitude the most.  Maybe we won’t feel it purely but we can feel and express it to some degree if we try and practice.
It is possible to feel a slither of gratitude even in the midst of pain and anger.  And that slither can be enough to keep us going.

I wrote this.

(Much of it is inspired by 

Mobile: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0R52DePavMo 
Comp. 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0R52DePavMo

which is created by Angela Carole Brown and is a brief meditation video for gratitude affirmations.)

I live in gratitude.

I breathe gratitude. 

I am grateful everyday that I live and breathe.

Every day that I have a creative idea, a revelation, learn something new, and am able to let go of old limiting beliefs, I am grateful.
Every day that I face my fears or overcome obstacles, I am grateful.
Every moment that I am given awareness of the simplest of beauties, the opportunity to experience profound joy, and feel genuine happiness, I am grateful.
Every day that  I stumble upon hidden treasures, I am grateful. 
Every moment that I am enlightened and discover insights, I am grateful.
Every day that my heart feels compassion, understanding, patience, and peace, I am grateful. 
Every day that I act upon love and compassion, I am grateful.
Every day that I Encounter and engage with another living being, I am grateful.
Every day that I am
Hugged, kissed, and loved, I am grateful.
Everyday that I 
Laugh or make someone laugh
Inspire and am inspired
Hear of someone’s life being saved
Change someone’s life or someone changes mine, I am grateful
Every day I love, live, and breathe, I am grateful.
Every day my heart pumps, I am grateful.
Every day I witness, hear about, receive, or engage in an act of kindness, I am grateful.
Ever day my heart is overwhelmed in anger, pain, frustration, negativity, bitterness, and grief, I am grateful 
Every moment that I act out in anger, I am grateful
Every moment that my heart is broken, I am grateful. 
Each challenge, painful situation, every loss, setback, and failure provides opportunity to learn, to evolve, to get stronger, to become more aware, more compassionate of myself and others, to develop deeper empathy and I am grateful.
Everyday that that I am
Humbled by a mistake, a thing learned, a person who teaches me…I am grateful.
Everyday I am faced with
Seemingly unbearable pain, and struggles
I am grateful
Every day for Lessons learned, I am grateful
Every day that 
I am Strengthened by pain, I am grateful
Every day for moments of 
Quiet and reflection, I am grateful
Every day for stillness and calm within, without, I am grateful.

Every single day, 
At every single moment
I am grateful.
Forever grateful.
Thank you

This is Angela Carole Brown’s page.

 http://www.angelacarolebrown.com/GLOBALYOGA.htm

Please check out her gratitude meditation youtube video. It’s so beautiful.
This is only seven minutes and forty-three seconds long. 
Mobile:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0R52DePavMo

Non mobile:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0R52DePavMo

It’s so inspirational and when practiced everyday can be life changing for the better!

She explains how gratitude even for unpleasant experiences is the way to go. A life with some pain and challenges is better than an “effortless ” life, as she says. Because we become stronger, wiser, more empathetic and compassionate, and learn many valuable lessons.

“You simply will not be the same person two months from now after consciously giving thanks each day for the abundance that exists in your life. And you will have set in motion an ancient spiritual law: the more you have and are grateful for, the more will be given you.” — Sarah Ban Breathnach

Much love & gratitude to you all!
And thank you for reading! 😀

Xoxo Kim

“We must live while we can and we’ll drink our cup of laughter
The finer things keep shining through
The way my soul gets lost in you
The finer things I feel in me
The golden dance life could be

I’ve been sad and have walked bitter streets alone
Come morning, there’s a good wind to blow me home
So time is a river rolling into nowhere
I will live while I can, I will have my ever after

The finer things keep shining through
The way my soul gets lost in you
The finer things I feel in me
The golden dance life could be” ~Steve Winwood

The Versatile Blogger Award – Thank You Dr. Rex!!!! <3 :-D

I am so incredibly honored to be nominated for the Versatile Blogger Award by The incredible Dr. Rex!!!
Please visit her blog here:

http://hrexach.wordpress.com/

And see her nominations  post here:

http://hrexach.wordpress.com/2013/10/19/the-versatile-blogger-award/

I love when I receive awards, not only because it’s an incredible honor but I love the challenge/rules! And choosing a list of deserving people/blogs. That’s often hard because there’s so many!!

Here are the rules: 

Display the Award on your Blog.

Announce your win with a post and thank theBlogger who nominated you.

Present 15 deserving Bloggers with the Award.

Link your nominees in the post and let them know of their nomination with a comment.

Post 7 interesting things about yourself.

1.) I attended Temple University in Philadelphia, Pa, where I live, for Psychology & Philosophy.   I graduated with a B.A. Degree in 2010. I plan on being a mental health counselor or peer specialist of some sort. I took Philosophy just because I love it deeply and have a passion for it, purely out of interest. I took the classes just for fun without realizing I was getting credits that would qualify me to have some sort of job like a paralegal assistant or something.   They told me in school before graduation. Lol good to know but not my intention! 🙂

2.) Oldies music and country music are my love and I rarely find people who love those kinds like I do.

3.) People often speak of childhood dreams and ask kids what they would love to be when they grow up. The truth is, as a young child, I always lived in the present moment, naturally, not as a conscious decision. So I never really had any big dreams for when I would grow up. When people would ask, I would make stuff up. Lol I have said I would be a veterinarian, a chemist, a scientist…but I was always interested in counseling, even as a little girl. My mom and dad always had marital problems and I often felt that I knew what they can do to make it better. 
it wasn’t until I was sixteen years old though, that I knew I want to be a counselor of some sort if I lived to be an adult and could function well enough (I struggle with suicidal depression and have since I was a child and never knew I would live this long.)

4.)  I’m so easily amused, I laugh at everything and nothing.   I have those good belly laughs that hurt, everyday, usually more than once a day. I don’t laugh at the expense of people. I laugh at stupid jokes, risqué jokes, little things that happen throughout the day, at myself…   No matter how sad or low I am I can usually laugh hard til it hurts. I’m genuinely amused, I’m a playful, silly girl with a tender and light heart. It gets me in trouble sometimes but oh well! Lol. ;-D

5.) I’m very good at putting on eye makeup, even liquid eyeliner, and even in two seconds if I have to.

6.) I’m real good at debating. I have natural debating skills. I can argue so good for any side of an argument even a side I strongly oppose. I have been told since I was a young girl by various people in various places, that I should be a lawyer. Lol ;-). In my critical thinking class in college, during an exam, I found an alternative answer to some logic problem, I can’t remember what, that even the professor, a lawyer, himself, did not realize at first. I got extra credit, along with one other student who solved the problem the same way.

7.) I’m terrible with numbers, I failed math classes in college and almost got thrown out.  I’m even horrible at basic math like simple addition, subtraction, and counting.   It was suggested to me by an educational psychologist in college that I may have an actual mathematical disability but I was never tested even though I struggled my whole life with it.  Numbers confuse me so much but I’m good with words, I suppose. 🙂

Here are fifteen blogs other than Dr. Rex’s that I adore, some I have known about for a while, others I have recently come across and I’m so blessed!

http://etsuchan.wordpress.com/

http://whitneyism.wordpress.com/

http://greenhornphotos.com/

http://theaustrianrose.wordpress.com/

http://wordslikesilk.com/

http://selflovewarrior.com/

http://awindowofwisdom.wordpress.com/

http://icanbeatit.wordpress.com/

http://studentswithbirds.wordpress.com/

http://abbeygallagher.wordpress.com/

http://gyatoday.wordpress.com/

http://rosebushchronicles.com/

http://thebettermanprojects.com/

http://journeyofshe.wordpress.com/

http://5kidswdisabilities.com/

Thank You, Dr. Rex, I’m so happy to receive this award and thank you and all of the other people listed above for blessing us all with the beauty of your light that shines brightly on us all!

😀

Xoxo Kim

Beauty, Acceptance, Diversity, Awakening

❤ I was blind but now I see. ❤

“Always be a little kinder than necessary. ” ~ J. M. Barrie
I am really loving how compassionate, accepting, tolerant, open-minded and loving I have become. I have always been someone who is open-minded and accepting of others, their views, and diversity. I have always been loving and not at all likely to reject a person as a friend because of a difference in perspective, attitude, or view, or because of mistakes or decisions that person made that I disagree with. Even when strongly disagreeing with one another. 

But there are occasions I have been or felt unkind, unfriendly, arrogant, bitter, or timid, or unhappy, meek, or just negative, uncomfortable,  or hostile over differences in opinion on certain topics or how the opinion was presented.  I was never cruel or outright horrible to people over disagreements and I wouldn’t reject a friend or potential friend but on too many occasions I liked that “us and them” or “us vs them” feeling. Now, I can’t even imagine why.   Now, I always want us to all be in this together, working together, no matter what differences we encounter, for a better world, a better life for us all. 

There have been occasions for almost as long as I can remember where I felt that I was lacking in personality because I have this ability to understand both sides of a debate or argument so thoroughly even if I strongly agree with one and not the other.  I can still see how someone else can feel that way. Even when I would argue or debate taking one side, I can still feel for the other. It’s like that with almost every political and philosophical topic I can think of and in personal arguments that I witness, hear of, read, or engage in.

Now I see this as a gift.  As a unique personality trait.  I have been told that I have the priceless gift, the uncanny ability to understand so deeply, and just “know” things about people, to deeply see the heart of the matter, to feel for all sides and angles, to empathize with my opponents and with people and other sentient beings, in general.

And now I’m even more this way. This natural gift is stronger.  And with conscious intention and work, I can develop it even more.

There will always be disagreements.

Some people will be wrong.

Maybe some things will never be resolved but we can choose kindness, love, compassion, and understanding as opposed to cruelty, rejection, unkindness…

Usually, when I would be bitter, it wasn’t even over a disagreement itself but the way people would present their opinion, their attitude, or way of speaking/writing. When someone would have an “in your face,” defensive, rebellious, or negative attitude, I was more ready to be hostile where when someone would be civil, gentle, accepting, I was more ready to be kind and friendly even when strongly disagreeing. 

But someone else’s unkindness or cruelty does not necessarily justify my unkindness or cruelty. No need to perpetuate that.  I prefer to perpetuate love and lavish love and kindness on others.   Sometimes the cruelest and most unkind people may need it the most.

 I have come to realize more and more that it’s ok to have strongly opposing views, it’s still possible to get along well with those who strongly oppose my views, love, compassion, acceptance is more important.  Opposing a view does not mean opposing a person. I can overlook disagreements or even see the beauty in them.

Sometimes I have felt guilty when I would have a certain opinion on a topic and then meet someone I really liked who would have an opposite view.  I felt like I was doing that person wrong.  Like I was offending…hurting..

But other occasions I was at the other end. Feeling arrogant, pompous, full of myself, telling myself I was holding the better view, the “right” view and I was the one offended, the “victim,” the reasonable one.

Now…

I have been seeing beauty in things much more than I used to and in things I never thought I would see beauty in. People who have the courage to speak up and advocate for themselves and their views whether or not I agree with their views, certain kinds of selfishness(the word “selfish” tends to have negative connotations but isn’t always a bad thing), things shattering so better things can fall into place, realizing I was wrong all along and admitting it and evolving into something better.  At one point I was so mortified when an opinion of mine would change or I would realize I was initially wrong, either incorrect or morally wrong. 

I did not want to admit that I held an inaccurate or “wrong” view.   But changing an opinion based on truly realizing that the old opinion in some way is wrong either morally or factually/logically, admitting it, and moving forward is a sign of great strength, growth, and is worthy of admiration.   According to Roman Stoic Philosopher, Gaius Musonius Rufus, we should study Philosophy and it should affect us personally and profoundly and when a philosopher lectures, his words should make those in his audience shudder. They should experience feelings of contrition or rue.  Instead of applauding the philosopher, the audience should be reduced to silence. (source, Epictetus, “Discourses,” III.xxiii.29.)

In awe and embarrassment for not knowing and now coming to know. It’s not a bad thing.

I find myself more and more “liking” comments on places like Facebook even when I disagree with them because I can still see a kind of beauty in them or because I am grateful for being introduced to a new perspective or point of view or because I find it fascinating or it gets me thinking. I don’t have to agree to like or accept it.  Or to like and accept the person who holds that view.

Charlotte Davis Kasl, Ph.D., in her book “Finding Joy,” writes 

“We have a great deal of division in this world that dictates who you are allowed to love at a personal, intimate level. Black-white, Protestant-Catholic, Muslim-Hindu, Jewish -Palestinian are a few of the many divisions people are taught not to cross.
Fortunately, people ‘s deeper level of spirituality allows them to fall in love and in doing so break down these barriers.”
And this :
“Because love and joy are so totally intertwined, bringing joy to the planet means supporting all love between all people on the planet. Part of the consciousness of joy is realizing we are all more alike than different. The desire to belong,be respected, live free of fear, work with dignity and purpose, and find joy are common to all people.   Of course we all have different customs, histories, and traditions, but when we reach deep enough, we will find the commonalities and in doing so find joy.
Every time we cross a barrier, we build a bridge. And as we build bridges on the outside, we heal the division within us. As a result, we all have more territory to walk on, and more people to love, and more peace on the planet. “
 (p. 130-1)

Isn’t this beautiful?! 

And it’s true. It’s not to say we should ignore differences, just accept or cherish them.   Love anyway.   We can acknowledge diversity but accept it, love it, promote it..

liberal-conservative, pro-life-pro-choice, Democrat -Republican, rich -poor, atheist-theist….love anyway. We can debate, argue, disagree and love still.   Love deeper. 

Still respect.
Show some level of understanding.

It’s true, some people are wrong, either morally, factually, logically…but we can still love.  Platonic or romantic love.  Still accept.  Still cherish. Still embrace.

It won’t always be easy. But it’s possible.
I won’t project my standards or morals onto others assuming that because they act differently than I would have in a certain situation, that they must be less loving, caring, compassionate…than I am.

They can be just as loving and caring as I am. We all have convictions and reasons for making certain choices, coming to certain conclusions, having certain views.  No person is better than another. I believe people in general are basically good, with good intentions, some more good than others.

Also, we don’t have to like everyone or want to be around everyone or be friends with everyone we meet.   That’s unrealistic and not necessary.  But when we do meet someone we really like or love, a potential friend or lover, or we must be around certain people, we don’t have to not like them or abandon or reject them based on distasteful differences.   If I love/like you, and then find out you strongly oppose my views or you did something horrible, made mistakes or that you feel I have made horrible mistakes…you will still hold my heart.

There are things about me people don’t or won’t like also.   And who am I to negatively/hostilely judge?   Some people have lousy attitudes, discriminatory views and are just detrimental to be around and it’s ok to avoid them but we don’t have to avoid or lash out at every person who we disagree with.

I have been seeing opinions I once would have been absolutely appalled by, maybe even ready to lash out, and sink to insults or a vitriolic attitude or tone and even now start to feel a sense of distress but it often quickly melts to compassion, mellows out to understanding that that person who holds that view is not me and has a reason, has experiences, ways of thinking for holding those views just as I do for having other views.  That’s a person first.  A person who is no less than I am.

I can understand to a certain extent even if I cannot possibly know how someone else feels. I never claim to exactly know, just deeply understand as much as I possibly can for someone who is not that person and has not experienced what that person has.

Some opinions seem to really suck and are offensive but I can break through.  I am so enlightened now in ways I haven’t been previously, in some ways that can’t even be explained, only felt.

And there’s room for growth and always will be. No matter how enlightened and “whole” I am or become, there will always, always be room and opportunities for further evolution of the self as long as I’m living. And I now see the beauty in that fact. There was a day when I wanted to be whole and fully enlightened and know all there is to know, experience all there is to experience, and be perfect and felt incomplete and seriously unhappy about it but now I see beauty in incompleteness, in the unknown, in all that is to come.

Where some people see mistakes or flaws, where I once saw mistakes, flaws, wrongs…I see creativity, deftness, beauty, strength, opportunities for growth, for progress.

Yes, I am humbled.  And I bask in this humility.

Much love to you.

“Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.” ~

Benjamin Franklin

Xoxo Kim

Shaya’s Story – {inspirational} <3

I downloaded a book on my Kindle for free and it’s all short inspirational stories. This one touches me deeply so I looked it up online and decided to share it here. It’s about a child with a learning disability and his dad and a moment that impacted them for life. It’s based on a true story but I notice that there are slightly different versions of it but all basically the same with the exact same message and ending. Some versions have more of a religious or spiritual tinge and some are more secular, all are heartwarming.   This one is closest to the one in the Kindle book.

“In Brooklyn, New York, Chush is a school that caters to children with learning disabilities. Some children remain in Chush for their entire school career while others can transfer into conventional schools. At a Chush fund-raising dinner the father of a Chush child delivered a speech that will always be remembered by all who attended. 

After extolling the school and it’s dedicated staff he cried out, “When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection.   Yet my son, Shaya, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do.  Where is the natural order of things in my son?”

The audience was shocked by the question, pained by the father’s anguish and stilled by the piercing query. “I believe,” the father answered, “that when a child like Shaya comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.”

He then told the following story about his son Shaya: 

One afternoon, Shaya and his father walked past a park where some boys whom Shaya knew were playing baseball. Shaya asked, “Do you think they will let me play?” 

Shaya’s father knew that his son was not at all athletic and that most boys would not want him on their team. But Shaya’s father also understood that if his son was chosen to play it would give him a comfortable sense of belonging. Shaya’s father approached one of the boys in the field and asked if Shaya could play. The boy looked around for guidance from his team mates. Getting none, he took matters into his own hands and said “We are losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we’ll try to put him up to bat in the ninth inning.” 

Shaya’s father was ecstatic as Shaya smiled broadly. Shaya was told to put on a glove and go out to play short centre field. In the bottom of the eighth inning Shaya’s team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the bottom of the ninth inning Shaya’s team scored again and now, with two outs and the bases loaded with the potential winning run on base, Shaya was scheduled to be up. Would the team actually let Shaya bat at this juncture and give away their chance to win the game? 

Surprisingly, Shaya was given the bat. Everyone knew that it was all but impossible because Shaya didn’t even know how to hold the bat properly, let alone hit with it. 

However, as Shaya stepped up to the plate, the pitcher moved a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shaya should at least be able to make contact. The first pitch came and Shaya swung clumsily and missed. One of Shaya’s team mates came up to Shaya and together they held the bat and faced the pitcher waiting for the next pitch. 

The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly toward Shaya. As the pitch came in, Shaya and his team mate swung at the ball and together they hit a slow ground ball to the pitcher. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could easily have thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shaya would have been out and that would have ended the game. 

Instead, the pitcher took the ball and threw it on a high arc to right field, far beyond reach of the first baseman. Everyone started yelling, “Shaya, run to first. Run to first.” Never in his life had Shaya run to first. He scampered down the baseline wide eyed and startled. By the time he reached first base the right fielder had the ball. He could have thrown the ball to the second baseman who would tag out the still-running Shaya. 

But the right fielder understood what the pitcher’s intentions were so he threw the ball high and far over the third baseman’s head. Everyone yelled, “Run to second, run to second.” Shaya ran towards second base as the runners ahead of him deliriously circled the bases towards home. As Shaya reached second base the opposing short stop ran to him, turned him in the direction of third base and shouted, “Run to third.” As Shaya rounded third the boys from both teams ran behind him screaming, “Shaya run home.” Shaya ran home, stepped on home plate and all 18 boys lifted him on their shoulders and made him the hero as he had just hit a “grand slam” and won the game for his team. 

“That day,” said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, “the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world
“. “

{from “Echoes of the Maggid (1999) by Rabbi Paysach Krohn, told to him by Shaya’s father}

I absolutely love this beautiful story. Both teams who were opposing each other in the game came together as One to encourage, support, include, and bring love to a little boy and his dad who needed it so much. They chose to be selfless and care more about a person than their game.   Beautiful!

I believe we should all show love like this to our fellow sentient beings. We should empower one another, support, encourage, and nourish people’s strengths, point out the beauty and goodness in each other, focus on the positive.

Much love to you all.

Xoxo Kim  🙂

Love is the answer <3

Some quotes:

Love has everything to do with it ~ ♥ ♥ ♥

“Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.” ~Malcolm S. Forbes

“By being yourself, you put something wonderful in the world that was not there before. “~Edwin Elliot

” Friends can help each other. A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself – and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them. That’s what real love amounts to – letting a person be what he really is.” ~ Jim Morrison

” Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.”
H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

” Where there is love there is life.”
Mahatma Gandhi

” A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.”
Thomas Carlyle

“So many women just don’t know how great they really are. They come to us all vogue outside and vague on the inside.” ~ Mary Kay Ash

Much love to you!

Xoxo Kim

Creativity – Don’t Hold Back!!! :-D

I have been feeling this creative energy just surging through me like never before and have no idea why! Lol! I have never considered myself to be creative and have always felt a kind of block when attempting to think or act creatively.   I’m better at research/academic/analytical stuff. 

I have often put off doing things I either knew or assumed I wouldn’t be good at.   I would try it and quit right away.  I know that’s not a good idea and is a self imposed creative block. First of all, if it’s fun and interesting to you, it doesn’t matter if you’re good at it or not.

Also there’s a chance you will become better with practice.  Creativity doesn’t just have to be things like drawing and writing. It can be things like problem solving and thinking about things at different angles and with different perspectives.

I have noticed I am more creative now in writing poetic -like writings and with problem solving. People have sometimes told me I have a poetic way of speaking, which comes naturally to me but I’m not so sure I have ever been great at writing actual poetry or stories. But I feel more creative than ever now!   I have been trying to analyze why this is and one thing I think is, it may have to do with increased confidence in other areas. Confidence in one aspect of life can permeate to every other aspect, which is very good!

I have been meditating upon the concept of “When one door closes, another opens.”. That is a creative way of thinking.   Instead of dwelling on what is lost, we can use the experience to make way for better things.

If we allow it, it can help us look at things differently.   I used to often, and sometimes still do, dwell on previous pain and struggles, allowing them to hold me back and imprison me. But more and more I have been using them as resources to guide me and strengthen me.

So I believe this is contributing to my general creativity enhancement.  Also, I have been posting here in this blog much more frequently than ever. I have said before, I have always been so inspired to write but often felt too fatigued to put much thought into things. I consume too much sugar and it tends to make me sluggish.  Also depression can make me fatigued, sluggish, like a zombie.

But I have made some minor lifestyle changes such as stretches more frequently which help with fatigue and so I have more energy to put thought into what I write here and that helps me be more creative all around.   It’s like strengthening my “creative muscle.”. Also I have come to sometimes allow my depression itself to inspire me by looking at it in various ways other than just cursing it.  This is hard but can sometimes be accomplished. 

Sometimes now, instead of succumbing to my bed or the floor in a depression, I create a blog post with something positive to focus on!

I let it inspire new ideas, coping mechanisms, and other things in me.

Also, I have been giving in and not holding back. When I feel like writing poetically or creatively I do no matter how much I think it will suck. Lol. This gets my creative juices flowing.

One problem I recently had is somehow my phone service got switched over to Android. I have a Blackberry, never an Android. But someone switched it in the T-Mobile system and it took my phone’s Internet away. This is a permanent switch. It can often be fixed just by the phone service people switching it in their system but sometimes that won’t work. To spare you many boring and confusing details I will just say it did not work and my phone needs a Master reset which will permanently delete all my photos, songs, writings, everything.  And even that may not bring my Internet service back to this phone.

I can back it up on a computer but currently have no computer Internet so that’s out of the question.   I tried writing stuff on paper but it’s overwhelming. I have so much amazing stuff on here! Lol

But I kept calm. I was disappointed but not angry. I know someone just made a mistake and there are way worse things than losing files on a phone no matter how amazing they are.

But because of all my creative thinking /acting lately, I thought of a “solution ” and although my phone isn’t fixed and I can’t get on the net using the browser icon on my home screen, I thought of another way to get on the net.  It’s more complicated but it’s a way!  I found two ways actually.  So thankful!   

 I think I’ll keep it this way for now. There’s a chance I may need a new phone and eventually lose everything but for now I will do what I can to keep it.   And feel gratitude in the process for everything I have and am.

I decided to compose a list of tips that I find helpful for enhancing creativity since I am a creative genius now. Lol jk. I’m nothing of that sort! ;-). But I’m in the process of learning and would love to share.

To enhance your creativity maybe these will help:

1.) Don’t let lack of or perceived lack of skills or talent hold you back. This is probably the most crucial tip. You will never know how great you can be or what you can accomplish or attain if you never try. Keep trying.   Maybe your drawing, writing, painting…..whatever it is you want to do will suck but so what? And if you don’t want to, you don’t have to show it to any one. Don’t hold back!  Channel your inner child. Lose your inhibitions, your fears, your feelings of things being only for children or only for professional people.

2.) Explore. Reflect. Look deep within you. This can be done with meditation of some sort or  reflective thinking. Think about how you feel right now or how you feel or have felt about certain things. Write a poem about it. Draw a picture representing it. Make a collage.   Go to stores, flip through magazines and see what jumps out at you. Last night I was having great difficulty sleeping and felt the urge to write poetry but felt not inspired enough. So I thought deeply about how I felt at that very moment and how I feel about certain situations and people and was suddenly so inspired to write poetically/creatively.

3.) Look at song titles, blog post titles, and other titles like of books and write a poem or short story about that concept without copying the other person’s work. You can just look at them randomly without even reading or listening to the content.

4.) Try hard to understand a view opposing your own on a certain topic or try to see how someone else can feel that way even though you do not. This stretches your “mind” and gets you outside the “box.”

5.) Look to others for inspiration. Pay close attention to other creative work. See what you like, don’t like, what challenges you…and start your own creative journey. I would suggest to consciously try not to rip of their work though.  You probably want yours to be original and probably don’t want a lawsuit. Lol

6.) Take pictures and look at pictures! It’s amazing what photographs can elicit. You can make the photos themselves your creative project or write poems about them! Don’t reserve picture taking for only “special occasions.”. All occasions are special.

7.) Inhabit your body, be mindful of your senses and how things feel to you, the experience of experiencing. Write or draw about the experience. Write or draw using your senses for inspiration.   What’s does something feel like, sound like, look or taste or smell like? Use imagery in your writing. Try to paint a vivid picture or image in the heads of your readers or viewers or listeners. Use your imagination/fantasy as well as reality.

I wrote the quote in the picture and I took the pic and put the quote onto it.

Here’s an example of something I recently wrote as part of a poetic-like short story:

“She stands alone with just the stars in the palms of her hands and the moonlight streaking her long flowing hair, meadows painted across her sky blue eyes, butterflies & sparkles woven through her lashes.”
& this: 

“And I watch
Chromatic
Florets 
Bloom
Into the vibrant blue
A fluorescence
Of tranquil tunes
As pastel colored
Butterflies 
Parade
Like a
Slow song
Around the
Floral
Array
In the air”
This is part of a poem I wrote a while ago.

The line in the pic above is one I wrote as part of a poem and the picture is mine which I took and out the quote on it.
and here’s another of my creations:

8.) Put some color and design into your world. Surround yourself with bright or soothing colors, various colors and designs…

9.) Try new things to get your brain stimulated. Brush your teeth using your non dominant hand, go for a walk in a place you don’t go to much, drive to work a different route.

10.). Pay attention to kids. They are fearless when it comes to creative projects. Take their lessons to heart. This kind of hinges on Tip #1.

11.) Let other people inspire you, not intimidate you. There are people out there with more developed or stronger skills than you and with more experience. There always will be.  Don’t let this discourage you.  Just be content with where you are. You don’t have to be the best at anything. Focus on your needs and desires. Some people are more experienced so have better skills. Some are just naturally more creative or skilled. And that’s ok. Be grateful you have come across them and their work as opposed to being so envious you can’t see straight.   Jealousy is normal and it’s ok but don’t let it hold you back or make you have animosity for others.

12.) Be willing to create or do things which are or may be viewed as “bizarre ” or “weird” or “unusual” by others. “Thinking outside the box” can get that creativity flowing.

13.) Keep going even when you doubt yourself. And keep going even when your creative work doesn’t turn out how you expected or hoped!

14.) Try looking at things which are usually considered ugly, plain, unattractive, in a more positive light. You can write poems about sadness and pain or take pictures of or draw bare trees, muddy puddles, car oil puddles, snow blizzards, insects…things often seen as miserable. I believe there is beauty almost everywhere if we really look and you can take something typically considered not beautiful and put a beautiful spin on it, poetically, lyrically, artistically…

15.) Try meditation specifically to get creativity energy flowing.   You can go to http://www.meditationoasis.com/
And you can go to http://www.youtube.com/
And put in words like “meditation for creativity.”. I would include some links here to videos but I’m using my phone and can only get the mobile link and I never know if that works for anyone else. 

Here are two links that are supposed to go to the same video. One is for a computer and one is for mobile phones. I somehow managed to get the desktop link. If it works for others though, I have no clue.   Both links work for me when I click on them.

Computer link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&persist_app=1&v=CPrk4_JFA90

Mobile link
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CPrk4_JFA90

Also here is a list of tips I found:  http://www.creativitypost.com/create/101_tips_on_how_to_become_more_creative

I hope you are having a beautiful day or night and hope you find some creative inspiration if it’s what you’re searching for.   😀

Xoxo Kim 😀

Most Influential Blogger Award – Thank You Dr. Rex!! <3

I am so humbled and so honored that I have been nominated for the Most Influential Blogger Award by the Lovely Dr. Rex!!

Please go visit her wonderful blog here:

http://hrexach.wordpress.com/

Ty!

I would have posted this sooner but there’s something very weird going on with my phone’s Internet! But I found a way around it!

Here is the Nominations post with the rules & nominees :

http://hrexach.wordpress.com/2013/10/14/most-influential-blogger-award/

The rules of this award are:

1. Add the award logo to your blog.

2. Answer the following questions.

3. And pass the award on to 10 other blogs and let them know.

Questions:

1) What makes you happiest?

2) Do you love the Oceans or Mountains more?

3) What has been a special moment in 2013?

4) What’s your favorite quote?

5) Do you like yourself?

6) Do you stay up till midnight on New Year?

7) Something you wish could be done ASAP?

8) What was your favorite class when still at school?

9) What musical instrument have you tried to play?

10) Anything you had wished to have learned earlier?

11) Do you like to do Crafts, Drawing

And here are my answers!! 😀

1) What makes you happiest?

I Don’t have just one thing but one thing that makes me happiest is connecting with people. Reading, writing, music, walking…also makes me very happy! 😀

2) Do you love the Oceans or Mountains more?

I like both but I have more experience with the Oceans. I find Oceans to be very healing.

3) What has been a special moment in 2013?

I have various “special moments” often.   I don’t really consider any moment more special than any others but some stand out more, seeming more joyous or profound. One moment which stands out now in my memory is the moment I was able to laugh again, a deep, belly laugh, like I frequently have, after my dog died. I am someone who is very easily amused laughing loudly and often and even when I’m sad I can be amused. But in April 2013 my dog died of old age. We had her for twelve years and she was fourteen years old.   After this sad loss, I felt like I wasn’t completely myself for nearly four months. I felt no very deep emotions other than sadness and grief.   I couldn’t laugh like I usually do. But one night in my room almost four months later, I was listening to Jimmy Buffett songs and was able to laugh like that again. It restored my hope, helping me realize that things can always get better even after severe sadness, pain, and loss. Another poignant moment worth mentioning is in October, this year, when I was able to say I haven’t had a serious/semi-serious suicidal thought in one year, which is the longest I have been able to go without those in nearly fourteen years.   I felt all kinds of emotions, happy, grief, sad, almost despair, awe, pain, confusion, just a strange combination of emotions.

4) What’s your favorite quote?

There’s is a great question! There’s no way I can choose just one but here’s one I love: 

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”
Leo Buscaglia
5) Do you like yourself?

Yeah!

6) Do you stay up till midnight on New Year?

Every year.  Always have and always will!

7) Something you wish could be done ASAP?

Educate and persuade people to be more compassionate, tolerant, and accepting of each other and animals. To be able to accept and cherish diversity and not reject each other over differences and mistakes, to see each other as a person with needs, desires, dreams, and interests.

8) What was your favorite class when still at school?

In high school I loved the horticulture classes! In college, Philosophy & Psychology usually. 

9) What musical instrument have you tried to play?

Piano and guitar but it was a no go. Lol!

10) Anything you had wished to have learned earlier?

There probably are some things but I can’t really think of any at the moment. But it’s better to learn late than never! 🙂

11) Do you like to do Crafts, Drawing

Or painting?   I love to do all those things even though I’m not the best at them. I especially love crafts things with cutting and gluing on paper!

http://etsuchan.wordpress.com/

http://greenhornphotos.com/

http://gyatoday.wordpress.com/

http://wordslikesilk.com/

http://awindowofwisdom.wordpress.com/

http://studentswithbirds.wordpress.com/

http://rosebushchronicles.com/

http://journeyofshe.wordpress.com/

http://5kidswdisabilities.com/

http://thebettermanprojects.com/

Get Your Ass in Gear

I have been writing here about how I have been struggling with depression for almost three weeks, not a full blown severe episode like I have now and then but worse than a low mood. And not fun at all.  My mood fluctuates – feelings of despair then hopeful and happy.  

For me, depression is long term/lifelong. It’s not just an episode or phase or because of a specific environmental reason like for some people. I’m not depressed and suicidal almost every single day of my life anymore but my depression can surface at any moment either out of the blue or being triggered by something so it’s something I have to consciously and almost constantly manage with professional help & self-help techniques.

It’s no longer a constant struggle every single day, for me like it used to be, but some days, weeks, and months, it is. And for a few weeks now it has been acting up badly. But mostly, I’m managing it quite well, I think. I have been having difficulty sleeping which usually is not a problem for me. I usually sleep very well.

Last night was very bad and I was overcome in seemingly uncontrollable, negative thoughts. I have been having thoughts that aren’t good. I wanted to let myself slip away but I wouldn’t allow myself. I thought of all the people who I can inspire and help in various ways, people I currently know and ones I have yet to meet and touch in some way.  With just a kind word, a simple touch, a helping hand.

There is always someone out there somewhere, in need. I decided to stay strong so I can go on and help people in any way I can. It doesn’t always feel like it but there’s always, always, always something to hold on for. I keep reminding myself that. 

In the afternoon, a few days ago,  I laid in bed with my dogs looking out my window at the sweet rain and the trees and leaves blowing in the wind.   I felt happy, hopeful, joyous, wonderful.   It was so serene and lovely.

I have been thinking about this quote:

“Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns; I am thankful that thorns have roses.” ~ Alphonse Karr 

I want to complain about how I have “lost” almost three weeks to depression but this quote reminds me how instead of complaining about the moments I’m depressed I can cherish the moments I am happy and be thankful for the fact that I still do have happy moments. It’s not all bad. And even the depressed moments are good even though they don’t always feel that way. At least I’m alive.

Anyway, I was thinking about one of the most important things my therapist told me years ago. He told me no matter how depressed I am, to not act like a depressed person. Moping around, avoiding people and things, staying in bed, neglecting self care….

Depression can frequently make us not want to get up. We want to crawl into bed in solitude and stay that way forever. But that can worsen depression, perpetuate, or prolong it.

Getting up, going out, being active may not always lift or cure depression but it can help in some ways.  

This doesn’t even just apply to depression. It can even go for any low mood or a common cold.   Even a minor cold can make us want to stay in bed and do nothing at all.

But I noticed that sometimes when I have a cold, a low mood, and even full blown depression getting up helps.   It helps to be somewhat active.  To put my makeup on, go for a walk, do things…it gives me more energy and more opportunities to take my mind off the pain & sickness.

With a cold, it’s good to get rest for our bodies to heal but too much rest isn’t always good.

I also noticed that distraction helps somewhat. I have been reading my Philosophy books and the fact of reading and thinking gets my “mind” currently off of my despair. It’s hard to concentrate in a depression but it’s ok, I give myself permission to just read as best I can and mess up when I will. 

So if you’re feeling low, sluggish, blah, sick….try getting up anyway.  You don’t have to do any kind of strenuous work, you can do light activities, even just dressing up or going about your usual day.

I hope you’re having a good one. 😀

Xoxo Kim

Loud & Proud No Matter What

I believe we should be proud of all our accomplishments, big and small, alike.   
Accomplishments such as kicking a bad habit, healing or recovering an addiction, quitting old detrimental ways…are still great accomplishments even though some people think they are not because they believe those things shouldn’t have been started in the first place.

I subscribed to this page:

http://www.inspiregreatnessnow.com/Free/day1_okJuK.shtml

And the man who the page belongs to said he is grateful he no longer cheats on women who he is in a relationship with. He wrote that it may seem like a bizarre thing to be thankful for but it was a very destructive part of his life at one point and he finally stopped.  Now his life is better.

I don’t see that as a bizarre thing to be proud of or grateful for. It takes strength and courage to admit to a problem or being wrong then working to change it and also to share with others. 

Everyone makes mistakes.  As I have said, no one is perfect in everyone’s eyes. No matter who you are or how amazing you are, someone out there somewhere,  thinks or would think, if you met the person and the person knows about it, that something you do, say, think, or feel or something you previously did, thought, felt or said is/was wrong. Someone will see flaws in you.

It seems as if we often tend to negatively judge people based on the seriousness of the consequences of their actions instead of the morality of the actual action, I guess you can say.  

For example, people often severely criticize people who take drugs and get addicted. The fact that someone takes recreational drugs and gets addicted may have serious, devastating consequences but it says nothing about the character of the person or the person’s general morals.  Some people never take drugs but are just very unkind people who want to drag others down and go out of their way to hurt people merely for the thrill.   And many people who do take illicit drugs or have previously taken them are great people with beautiful personalities who would never go all out to hurt people just for the thrill.

A couple months ago someone told a lie involving me at work.  I forgive the person and believe it was a mistake and not typical of her. Not a mistake as if she wasn’t aware of what she was doing, she knew, and she had malicious intentions, although I have no idea why because we always had a good relationship with each other.  But I view this as a mistake, something she should not have done but she did.  This could have cost me my job.

But I don’t view this as something that defines her personality or character.   It was a mistake, a wrongdoing, a negative act but I choose to look at her as the whole person she is and not as a horrible person based on one vicious act.

People have advised me to feel bitter towards her, to seek revenge, to see her as a horrible individual.  But I choose to move forward with an open heart, forgive her, and “forget.”

She did not admit she was wrong and she lies to the bitter end but I don’t believe her lying now has to do with being malicious towards me any longer.  I think it now has to do with her not wanting to admit she was wrong, feeling as if that’s a weakness on her part.  She has to lie to back up the main lie so as not to confess that she was initially wrong.  So even if she’s sorry, she won’t say it because that would be admitting she was wrong.

However, she did express guilt in other ways and seemed to be trying to make up for it by being extra kind and helpful.  That, in my opinion, is better than an empty “I’m sorry” anyway.

For months I have been angrier than I have ever been, some moments, to the point of fury and it was seeping into every aspect of my life, not just work. I would forgive then go back to holding a grudge off and on but I finally let go, for myself and for her. I don’t want to be angry. She doesn’t want me to be angry.  And it’s done now.

So, my message here is that mistakes you have made and will make, usually say nothing about who you are as a whole person and even if you aren’t as great as you can be, there’s always the possibility for change. You may have to work hard.  It may be awkward and feel uncomfortable now and then but it’s worth it.

And when you accomplish something great like realizing you were wrong and you change your ways or work on yourself for the better that is something to be proud of yourself for no matter what others say.

I have difficulty deleting apps, songs, pictures, and other files off my phone, even ones I never, ever use or even care about.   I always have this fear like “What if I change my mind and delete it and can’t get it back again?!” or “What if later I would come to really want this stuff on my phone and I forget all about it and never know to put it back on?!”.   Lol things like that. So because of this, I can’t put on new stuff or take new pics.

But two nights ago, yesterday,  and today I overcame my limiting fears and decided to go on a deleting spree, deleting everything I don’t use.  Some things I wrote down just in case I may want it again. 

I let my reasoning prevail over emotion. Now is what matters and now I really need more space on my phone.  And I probably will never want those apps and the truth is I can install most of them again if I want later.

This may seem like a trivial thing to be proud of but I must say, I’m proud! Lol. For me, that’s an accomplishment. 

Also, I’m a slob. It’s true. I leave empty soda bottles and candy wrappers around my house and my mom gets so mad. That’s not something I should do ever. But I do.  So when I actually avoid doing that on my own without being told, I feel a sense of accomplishment.   

I hope you will go easy on yourself.   Forgive. Learn.  Move forward. Be honest & open with yourself.

Lol My message here now is that you should be proud and thankful for all of your accomplishments no matter how trivial or important they seem to you or to others. Every little thing you do that contributes in some way, big or small, to a better you, a better world, a better environment, a better relationship, or a better anything is worth being proud of and grateful for.  Even the simplest things.

And this will get you in the habit of seeing the good in you and acknowledging and celebrating your positive aspects and successes. I believe this can lead to a happier life.

What are you holding onto that you should be letting go of?
What should you forgive yourself for?
What would happen inside you if you admit that you were wrong? Admit to yourself?   To others?
Why are you holding on to self resentment?
How about you make the decision to let go now?

Xoxo Kim