Tomorrow Is Today <3

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(this isn’t my photo – I found it on Google images)

One of my favorite singers is Billy Joel. I love, love, LOVE his songs. Billy Joel is a very loving person, so many of his songs are about love, often romantic love. Not all of them are happy love songs but they’re still beautiful. Some seem to be about rejection or unrequited love.

His song, released in 1971, “Tomorrow Is Today” is his real suicide note that he decided to put music to and turn into a song.

YouTube video for the song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&persist_app=1&v=b9WAQHn_gmo

 It’s a beautiful song riddled with his pain and despair. He attempted suicide and fortunately lived. This song “Tomorrow Is Today” is about how every day is the same, nothing new, nothing good so there’s no point in living. I understand this deeply. There are many days I have felt every day is the same, bland, blah, full of pain, anguish, misery and so what’s the point. But there are many days I felt every day is the same but loved this beautiful life for it. Everyday is full of beauty, love, simplicity and I can’t wait to wake up each day to it. When every day is packed with joy, love, and beauty, it doesn’t matter if each day is identical. It’s enough. 

“I don’t care to know the hour
‘Cause it’s passing anyway
I don’t have to see tomorrow
‘Cause I saw it yesterday”

This line:

“Still I’m waiting for the morning
But it feels so far away
And you don’t need the love I’m giving
So tomorrow is today.”

Sometimes it seems we wait and wait and wait for something that just won’t come. It’s like an eternity away.

‘And you don’t need the love I’m giving so tomorrow is today.’

I know the feeling, as I think many/most people do, of wanting something I don’t have, attempting something and not succeeding, loving someone who doesn’t love me back…

Billy Joel sings that someone doesn’t need the love he’s giving and so tomorrow is today. Everyday is bland or painful because the target of his love shows no interest in receiving or returning it. This can feel so lifeless.

I think this is a common problem so many people know. Giving and giving only to not receive any appreciation. Loving and loving and not being loved in return. Wanting and wanting but never getting.

And while these things are excruciatingly painful, we can learn to cope with them and realize that we don’t need a specific target for our love. And we don’t need to give merely to receive. The mere feeling and act of giving and loving is satisfaction enough, rewarding enough with no expectation of getting something more for it. We can bask in and soak in the love deep inside, extending it to everything and everyone we can. It’s amazing to have specific people and things to love. But those aren’t the only things to love.

Just feel the love coursing through your veins every second of every day for each moment, even without a specific object. It’s just there. Living and breathing in you. Love for all living sentient beings, for this life itself, for the uncertainty and the beauty surrounding you. For heartbreak, hope & healing. This feeling of immense love can be masked by other feelings, painful emotions and thoughts, at some points but it can be summoned to the consciousness again and again.

We don’t need gratitude for our gratitude or appreciation for our appreciation, love for our love. We don’t need to receive to give.

The person Billy Joel loves in his song may not love him back or show any sense of reception of his love but he can take all that love he has and put it out into the world, lavish it on all those who do need it. Someone out there somewhere needs his love. He can turn it on himself and bask in the beauty of his own love. And it doesn’t matter if that person needs his love or not, he can still go on loving her/him….
It can be painful but also beautiful.
Rejection hurts. Abandonment hurts. Not being known hurts.
But Love heals.

It’s incredible that tomorrow is today and yesterday is tomorrow when every day is soaked in Love.

Loving someone who doesn’t know you exist or doesn’t return your love, wanting something you never seem to get, giving and not receiving can contribute to someone wanting to just lay down and die but we can take that loving energy and reverse it, let it fuel us to live instead. To live more, love more, give more. Shifting our perspective to view loving as more important than being loved, giving is more important than receiving, and appreciating is more important than being appreciated. 

Receiving love and appreciation are also great but if you don’t feel loved or appreciated for whatever reason you don’t have to lay down and die. Let your own love revive you and breathe in you.

When there’s so much deep love just bubbling in my core it’s often hard to feel anything else. It’s hard to loathe anyone or wish bad things for anyone, even those who do things I don’t like. 

I can still stand up for and speak out against things, constructively criticize things, disagree with and debate while still feeling/expressing love.

“Oh, my. Goin’ to the river
Gonna take a ride and the Lord will deliver me
Made my bed, now I’m gonna lie in it
If you don’t come, I’m sure gonna die in it
Too late. Too much given
I’ve seen a lot of life and I’m damn sick of livin’ it
I keep hopin’ that you will pass my way”

I get the feeling that when he falls hard for someone, gives someone all his love and it’s not returned to him, it really takes a toll, it depresses him, breaks him, even to the point of suicide contemplation and attempts. When he can’t have someone he wants in his life it drives him to just fall to pieces. But as I mentioned when this happens, we can take our love and direct it at ourselves and the universe as a whole. This is so healing. It won’t take away our pain completely or make us forget the ones we love who abandon or reject us but it can help us heal while helping others be/feel loved.

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You can’t give too much love.

Sometimes people have an interest in developing a platonic friendship with someone who has no interest in being friends with the person, sometimes it’s a romantic love interest not returned, some days it’s doing extra work for someone who couldn’t seem to care less, writing blog posts or creating YouTube videos or posts on any social media that don’t get much attention or get negative attention, applying for schools or jobs and being rejected….all of these things can be devastating to different people in different ways, to different depths and degrees.

But don’t give up! Whatever you do, say, however you love will resonate with someone, somewhere,  someday, somehow. Maybe not today or tomorrow but someday. Hold on.  

Someone out there can and will love someone just like you and needs, desires, craves exactly what you have to offer whether it’s the kind of friend you can be, the kind of lover you are, the abilities and qualities you have that are perfect for some jobs, your writing, your ideas, your points of views and angles of looking at things. 

Your beauty is valuable to this world.

And someone out there somewhere needs you.

We all have different kinds of personalities that are compatible
With and appealing to certain other personalities but not other ones.

Some people will love you, want you, crave you, need you and some won’t. That goes for all of us.

“And some day if your dreams are leavin’ you
I’ll still believe in you.” 

This is a perfect example of love and loving someone unconditionally,  even when that someone may not love us back.

We can still believe in that person and wish the best for him/her. If I truly love someone I want the person to be happy even when I’m not the reason for that happiness. I will still believe in the person even when that person doesn’t believe in or love me Or her/himself.

As painful as it can be, it’s also quite liberating.

In 1985, Billy Joel had another song released  called “You’re Only Human (Second Wind).”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&persist_app=1&v=3AG_ororx8E

It was written to remind people to never give up, that suicide isn’t the answer. Ever. It’s never the way to go. Sooner or later you’ll get your second wind. You may want to lay down and die now but later things will start looking up and it’s worth waiting for.

“It’s not always easy to be living in this world of pain
You’re gonna be crashing into stone walls again and again
It’s alright, it’s alright
Though you feel your heart break
You’re only human, you’re gonna have to deal with heartache.”

As long as we live we will experience pain, heartbreak, loneliness….and that’s ok.

“You’ve been keeping to yourself these days
Cause you’re thinking everything’s gone wrong
Sometimes you just want to lay down and die
That emotion can be so strong
But hold on
Till that old second wind comes along.”

No matter how bad things get or feel, how much it hurts, how much you want to die, things can get better if you just hold on.

Hold on til that second wind comes along!

Xoxo Kim

P.s. It’s so weird I’m listening to my old memory card with different songs on it and I forgot what songs are on it and as I was writing that above paragraph, the song randomly came on! The “You’re Only Human (Second Wind)” song by Billy Joel!! 😀

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9 thoughts on “Tomorrow Is Today <3

  1. Dear Kim 🙂 I agree to Billy Joel’s words “…suicide isn’t the answer”. It never worth it,never. Like you mentioned above “how much it hurts” there is always a way out. And if you need support I’ll give you as much as I can. And this leads us to the second point of your blog entry. I give friends (whether they virtual real friends) help and support as much I can but I expect nothing back. well, there is a little thing I expect and this is “honesty” and “still stay friends if they feel better”. The last point I don’t really like, when “friends” disappear if they are lucky again. Maybe it is silly from me to give them always a chance to be friends again, isn’t it? Anyway, like I said I expect nothing. I want say something to the paragraph which starts with “Loving someone who doesn’t know you exist or doesn’t return your love, wanting something you never seem to get…” I would be very happy if your solution would work so easily. Unfortunately, this sometimes runs into a stalking situation paired with jealousy (jealousy is a very dangerous thing). This is way some people think if they love someone the love is automatically given back. Complex stuff, isn’t. I’m sure you know all this because you have the major in Psychology 🙂 However, I hope you have already enjoyed my comment 😀

    Cheers, Bernd

    • I have had friends like that before who don’t care that I exist til they want something. It seems to be a common problem with people. I see/hear so many people mention it. This takes an emotional toll on people. And distance of some sort, physical or emotional, may be an effective solution for some.
      I think emotional distance is good in that case. I would still write brief messages to my friend if I really loved that friend but I would try not to put too much into it any longer. Just say hello now and then and show I still care but accept that person just isn’t a really good friend to me no matter how much I love him/her. Not keep trying to have anything more.  If the person is more like an acquaintance or someone I don’t have as much affection for as some others, I may just distance myself completely, give the person up, not in a hostile way though, maybe until the person decides to be a better friend, if that ever happens.

      I think in close relationships like friendships and romantic relationships, some expectations are necessary. We don’t have to expect something in return for everything we do for the person like favors and gifts but it’s necessary to expect both people in a two-person relationship to try, to communicate, to reach out to each other. One sided relationships can be painful and problematic.
      For example: I expect my friends to call and write to me sometimes first, to show interest in me, to initiate contact at some points, not just me keep reaching out first or them coming only when they want something.
      But if I do favors for them and go out of my way to help and if I buy them gifts just because or let them have money….i expect nothing back.
      They don’t have to buy me gifts, do favors, or go out of their way for me. Just being a sweet, genuine friend is enough.
      If I were in a romantic relationship I wouldn’t expect my man to repay me for every little sweet thing I do for him but I would expect him to show genuine interest in me, to help make things work….
      When I think of “love” I think of various kinds and various ways. Both romantic and platonic(including universal love). It can be an expression/action or just a thought/feeling.
       I’m into Buddhism and their promotion of universal love and compassion which is impersonal and not necessarily affective love. It means thinking kindly of everyone, wanting nothing but good for each and every person even if they don’t want good things for others in return and even if they are strangers to us. This can be extremely difficult. It often takes practice and dedication and maintenance. Sometimes it may come easy and sometimes it may not. We can have setbacks and act/think in ways we are generally against. But I promote it as a general way of life.

      • We don’t have to love every single person with a warm affection but we can love them in other ways like wishing the best for them, showing compassion/empathy, not interfering with their lives or seeking revenge or gossiping about them. This is partially what I mean by still loving someone who doesn’t know/care that I exist or love me back, not to keep reaching out to that person or stalking or thinking about the person too much. When someone doesn’t feel mutual love, many people become angry and let the love they feel for the person become masked by the anger. They want revenge sometimes or start to just feel very unpleasant emotions for the person they love who doesn’t return the love. When I say love the person still even when it’s not returned I don’t mean necessarily acting on that love(especially romantic love), or following the person around, writing messages, calling the person, constantly thinking about that person, and not letting go. That’s not good for either person. I’m talking about letting go, acceptance, let the person be but still hope for the best for the person even if you never see him/her again. Maybe even still feeling a positive affection for him/her but not acting on it. If I love someone in any way who is not in my life I don’t assume that person loves me, in fact, I usually think the person is indifferent to me or dislikes me, sometimes.
        Most people experience rejection in some way, I think. Most people will probably love someone in some way without the person loving back. But most will not turn out to be serious stalkers or borderline stalker.
        That’s like a condition or dis-order where someone loses touch with reality.
        It can be dangerous. Luckily most people don’t turn out that way no matter how much they love someone who doesn’t feel the same in return.  Sometimes it may not even be love but pure obsession.
        It’s important to let someone go and not turn obsessive by keep messaging or calling someone who shows no interest.
        It’s best, in my opinion, to focus on our own lives and everything and everyone we have now, not dwell on people who don’t love us or are uninterested in us.
        Jealousy is a common problem and not just with romantic love. So many people aren’t happy or mindful of all they are blessed with and jealousy overwhelms.
        It’s possible to still love while feeling jealous.  
        It’s important not to let jealousy interfere with relationships, either getting rid of the jealousy or coping with it. 
        Some people feel that if they aren’t the source of someone’s happiness they don’t want the person to be happy at all. I think that’s a twisted kind of love. I prefer a more pure love, wanting someone to be happy with or without me even when we never see each other or talk to each other ever.
        It’s probably usually more difficult to live by this whole philosophy with romantic love than platonic. With romantic love there’s usually more of a desire to act on it somehow and usually(in some cultures) with romantic love, a person in love wants to be the only one that person loves that way. 
        With platonic love we can love multiple people the same way, usually, without jealousy issues.
        When I say “still love anyway…” I’m not saying to dwell on the romantic love we have for someone or keep trying to hook up with or have the person fall in love back. 
        If someone is in love with someone, romantically, and that person doesn’t care and is not interested, the romantic love is not what I’m promoting acting upon or expressing. I’m referring to universal love or just loving thoughts and well wishes. It’s not always easy but I believe it’s worth the work and pain.
        I think if someone reads my above post with just romantic love in mind when I write of love, it can seem kind of creepy. Lol Like promoting a kind of stalking or dwelling or obsession.
        But I’m referring to all love and not necessarily actions or dwelling on thoughts of the people.
        Billy Joel is most likely referring to romantic love but I took his song concept and expanded it.

    • One example of loving anyway is on Facebook, like I said, I join/like lots of groups and pages and get many requests and messages/comments. I don’t always check/see them. Some people write me very sweet messages and I don’t always write back/write back right away. And there are people who after writing me kind messages complimenting me and I don’t write back they write messages to me again, now slinging insults at me for not responding. Some say they should have never wrote to me in the first place, some have said I’m too stuck up, some say I’m rude and negative, one even verbally attacked me for my psychotic depression and told me I will be all alone in life with my hallucinations and no real friends. And this is because he said my response wasn’t quick enough. I responded in the same night. He even wrote statuses about me on his own page. He also viciously, verbally attacked more people on his page.
      But I accept that this comes along with being very open and having so many online friends.
      I write messages to people and some never respond but I would never wish I never wrote to them and never feel the urge to write again insulting the people who don’t respond or respond quickly. I see people comment on someone’s blog then get angry when the person doesn’t respond or responds with just something like “thnx” and write that they’re never commenting again sometimes to that person and sometimes to anyone ever again. They say there’s no point.
      When someone does this I believe the person’s underlying agenda or ultimate goal was likely not to compliment the person or share with that person but to receive something in return. Like to receive a sweet message back, to have the person express appreciation for that person’s message. There’s nothing wrong with wanting this or even getting angry or devastated when a response isn’t delivered or not delivered in a more desirable way but it’s not always going to happen and I believe compliments and appreciative messages are best when the true intention is to make the person happy, not merely or mostly to receive something in return. Not everyone will care, not everyone will write back or respond how we may hope but it’s still good, in my opinion, to keep giving and loving in general.
      This is what I’m talking about by still loving. Letting go but still wishing the best for everyone, still thinking positively, not turning vicious because our love is not mutual.
      I know not everyone agrees with me on universal love and compassion. Many people feel that it’s better to not feel positive emotions for people who do bad things or don’t love them back. For some people, to keep loving people who don’t love them back is too painful or not desirable. They get angry and the anger fuels them and the love dissipates or takes the back burner. They don’t want to think positively of certain people. And that’s ok. I believe in and support universal love and compassion as the Buddhists do but I know it’s not for everyone. One great thing about true Buddhism is the followers promote and advocate for certain things but they accept when others do not agree. They remain humble and hold off on negative judging.
      I can tell you’re a great friend! It’s great that you care about your friends’ problems and helping them bear the burdens they carry.

      Thank You for your comment, it's very thought-provoking and helped me elaborate and think more about the topic I brought up!! 😀

  2. Wow, this is really a very long reply 🙂 You’re such a smart person and I like very much your answers. I absolutely agree with your opinion. You’re a open person, open for foreign people and you give love to them. That’s a good thing but yes sometimes people don’t honor this and feel disadvantaged if you don’t react shortly to their requests or questions. Normally, it doesn’t matter when you give an answer, earlier or days later. Yes sure, I’m happy to get a respond from someone. But if not it’s also okay for me. On the other way, if you like someone and you know this person have sometimes depressions then it’s hard to wait. Then I’m worry about this person and hope that nothing bad is happened. I guess you know who I mean, don’t you? Well, I’ve one question at this point. What is better for you to give replies, when I write you on Facebook or when I send you an email message? I mean, in case of something important.

    Anyway, you have great heart for people and this is fantastic and I’m happy that I’ve found you here 😀

    • Aww thank you so much!! ❤
      Yes, I love getting responses but I completely understand if someone doesn't respond ever or respond shortly to my messages.
      I'm so happy to have you as a friend here!! It's amazing how blogs and social media accounts like Facebook can connect us to amazing people we would have never met without it!
      You can send me a message either way, Facebook or Gmail but I'm probably more likely to see an e-mail. It's kimberlyjm52@gmail.com
      😀

  3. Pingback: A glimmer of hope <3 | A Dose of Inspiration

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