Archive | October 2015

In the Silence

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“I closed my mouth and spoke to you in a hundred silent ways.”~ Rumi

Words aren’t the only form of communication. So much can be heard, felt in the silence. And we can choose to make the silence beautiful, loving, positive with our thoughts and energy and intention.

This is a beautiful quote!

And it reminds me of this song sung by Simon & Garfunkel:

Sound of Silence – mobile

The Sound of Silence – desktop

I hope you are having a beautiful night or day!! ❤

😀

xoxo Kim

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Boogers <3

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So today I been eating boogers! Lol

They aren’t really boogers though(in case anyone thinks I really eat my boogers…).

They are candy made to look and feel (hopefully not taste?) like real boogers.

They have a pleasant after taste. 

Yum!

I don’t know though, have you ever seen real ones that look like this?!

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Lol

And they aren’t sticky or anything so I suppose they don’t feel like real ones. I don’t pick my nose (usually..lol jk never!) so I wouldn’t know. 

They are also very large for the real thing. 
I feel kind of sorry for you if your boogies are this big. :-/
And if they’re this green you may have a sinus/ear/throat infection, I think, but as I am not an infectious disease specialist, I wouldn’t recommend taking my word for it!

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They are supposed to be tangy and they do have a bit of a tang to them. But they also kind of taste like cheap plastic.(whatever that tastes like…)

I’m going to give out bags of boogers for Halloween tomorrow! It will be so funny when the little kids find them in their bags of candy! I give candy to older kids & adults as well but candy boogers are funnier for the little ones!

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I got the last bag! The boogies have been flying off the shelves; they’re quite the hit, it seems!

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I was out with my mom and saw this bag of boogers box and joyfully showed my mom who wasn’t as thrilled as me! Then I saw one bag left and said “look only one bag left!” And my mom, rolling her eyes knew that meant I wanted them and she said “just get them!!” lol

She thinks they’re nasstayyy!

;-D

They remind me of those Harry Potter jelly beans. Remember those? They were popular for a while. There was all kinds of bizarre flavors such as vomit, dirt, booger, earwax, Earthworm, soap, and also a couple normal flavors like cherry & apple & marshmallow ….kids in high school used to trick each other giving one another the most disgusting flavors! lol 

This reminds me of buttered popcorn flavored jelly beans! Oh my! They are DELICIOUS!! I haven’t had them in years and every now & then I remember them and have an intense craving for them! Not even like just a mood where I want them but an all out physical craving like a pregnant girl craves like pickles and ice cream or something! Lol 

I really have to find out where to buy those!  

Here are some of my pictures to brighten your day! 

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I got this pic walking to work today!

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I took this picture on my way to meditation class last night in Center City!

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I LOVE this!!! The Nightmare Before Christmas is my favorite!!

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The anniversary girl, Lacey!! ❤

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This is me!! 😀

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And someone threw this outside work tonight for me to have to clean up! Fun! But it’s ok it’s what kids are supposed to do, get into a lil bit of mischeif the night before Hallows Eve!! 😀

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My pumpkin pj shorts! ❤

And a song!

Sea Cruise – Johnny Rivers – mobile

Sea Cruise – desktop

Listen to the lyrics and see if you can guess why it’s somewhat appropriate for this post. Hint: it has a certain word in it.

(I’m very mature!! ;-D) 

Lots of love & boogers to you tonight & always!!!

😀 ❤

Xoxo Kim 

Hey, My Butterfly

Beautiful!! ❤ 😀

Maxima

29.102015
Written: © Maxima

Hey, my butterfly,
I have no words to describe
How beautiful this day is.
Something in your eyes
Makes me happy.
Everything I see is heart shaped…
Flowers and dew on the grass.
Drunken heart shaped clouds
Glide above the trees and the
Sound of bubbling rivers sing sweet
Songs.
My life is filled with happiness,
That magnificent feeling that I
Belong to her,
My colorful butterfly,
She loves me.

Click here for more about what I do and to view my portofolio.Thank you

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Happy National Kitty Kat Day

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“Time spent with a cat is never wasted.” ~Colette

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“What greater gift than the love of a cat?” ~ Charles Dickens

Today in Buddhist class I found out it’s National Cat Day then I saw people posting about it on Facebook!

yay!

In class, the monk told us that people working for Uber were taking kittens around to let people pet to brighten people’s day! How cute!!

😀 ❤

The kitty above is Lacey!! And tomorrow just happens to be the anniversary of the day she came to live with us years ago!!

She's getting a special can of food! Shes so cute and loves to snuggle! She's not always the sweetest girl and sometimes whacks us with her paw!

She may have a psychotic problem. She chases stuff that isn't there.

She loves to be hugged & petted and loves to sink her nails in soft material and suck on it!! It's just the cutest!! ❤

I love my adorable Lacey! ❤

She often has her tongue sticking out!

I hope you are having a lovely day!

much love to you!! ❤

xoxo Kim 😀

Rainy Day Bells

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It’s a rainy day in Philadelphia today!! Raining all day & night!!

I was on a little excursion earlier today getting some lovely photos of green leaves covered in raindrops!  
I decided to get creative & share some of my pics here with some beautiful quotes!

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“In every change, in every falling leaf there is some pain, some beauty. And that’s the way new leaves grow.” ~Amit Ray

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“The best thing one can do when it’s raining is to let it rain.” ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

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“Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating; there is really no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather.” ~ John Ruskin

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“October is the fallen leaf, but it is also a wider horizon more clearly seen. It is the distant hills once more in sight, and the enduring constellations above them once again.” ~Hal Borland

Oh, October, I’m going to miss you!! But this month has felt more like Summer & Spring than Fall most days! I love all the Fall decorations I see all around the city! 

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“Every particular in nature, a leaf, a drop, a crystal, a moment of time is related to the whole, and partakes of the perfection of the whole.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

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“Never say there is nothing beautiful in the world anymore. There is always something to make you wonder in the shape of a tree, the trembling of a leaf.” ~Albert Schweitzer

I agree but I wouldn’t be so demanding about it!

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“Let your life lightly dance on the edges of Time like dew on the tip of a leaf.” ~Rabindranath Tagore

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“If words were leaves, would you prefer fall or spring?” ~Jarod Kintz

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I like Fall & Spring both. They both have beautiful qualities!  

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“He’d grown unused to woods like this. He’d become accustomed to the Northwest, evergreen and shaded dark. Here he was surrounded by soft leaves, not needles; leaves that carried their deaths secretly inside them, that already heard the whispers of Autumn. Roots and branches that knew things.” ~Michael Montoure

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Let’s grow unused to everything!! ❤

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This picture isn’t that good, it was supposed to be black & white with one green leaf but it did not work out! All the leaves are orange/yellow and one bright green. But the whole pic showed up looking all dreary and not in a good way. But I save most of my pictures even if they aren’t really good just because they’re mine and there may be some good to them. This is outside work tonight. 

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He was so happy to see me after work! He doesn’t like when I’m reading a book, writing, or using my phone, he wants all my attention to himself and insists on crawling on me when I’m doing anything that doesn’t involve him. So while I am attempting to write this post, he’s on me demanding attention. He doesn’t like having his picture taken and doesn’t like the “beep beep beep” of the camera. When he’s angry he hits his little face with his paws, sometimes one front paw, sometimes both! He just has always done this and his babies do too! It’s so cute!! I almost always stop what I’m doing to give him attention. ❤ ❤ His name is Emmy.

😀

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This is me at work tonight on a very slow rainy night!

And here’s a rainy song I used to listen to a lot a decade ago! 

Rainy Day Bells – The Globetrotters – desktop

Rainy Day Bells – mobile

I hope you’re having a beautiful day/night as I am! Lotsa love to you! 😀

Xoxo Kim 

The Power of Gold

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“I have discovered gold in a creekbed as thick as sin in Goldstrike. I do not count it yet as either a blessing or a curse. Time will tell. Gold is an able servant but a cruel master.” (Hunter Bell’s Diary, June 6, 1857 p. 88) 

I’m reading a novel called “The Looking Glass” by Richard Paul Evans, and found this quote in it on page 88. I’m not on page 88, I just started reading it but it has quotes throughout so I was flipping through the pages and this one struck me with its deep wisdom and I just knew I have to share it!  

It’s true money can bring us a kind of happiness and solve our problems if our problems are financial related. I wouldn’t be happier in general if I just won billions of dollars but I would be happy about the money, which I can’t be now since I don’t have money to be happy about. Money wouldn’t solve all my problems but it would help with financial struggles. But even with financial struggles, someone can be very happy. My general happiness would remain but I would have an additional joy or happiness now. Money isn’t bad or evil, material objects, pretty things, expensive things aren’t bad or wrong. I don’t believe they can bring us true happiness or fulfillment but they can add to our happiness and bring a certain kind of joy.
But mostly, I think they will only bring a lot of deep joy if we’re already basically happy. They can complement it. 

What isn’t good is to believe we need money or all kinds of material things to be truly happy. And it’s not good to be jealous of people who have more or better or bigger things(i have been jealous on some occasions of what someone else has). It’s not good to steal or use people for their money or take advantage of friends who have more money. It’s also not good to spend more than we have and then be in all kinds of debt (I have done this myself). But this isn’t the money’s fault.

There are people who say winning the lottery “ruined” their lives and studies that show many people who have won significant amounts of money became less happy than they were before the money. I heard people say the money “made” them less happy. This seems like a strange kind of irony. We would think money would help us be happier! But this just goes to show, money isn’t inherently good.

“Money made me less happy.” 

I don’t agree with this. They may have become less happy after receiving all that money but not because of the money itself. Because of how they handled and viewed the situation. Money has no power unless we give it power. It can’t make me anything. It can’t ruin anything. Unless we let it. This goes for many/most/all things outside of our selves. 

But as this quote suggests, money, when we give it power, can be cruel. We think it will solve our deep innermost problems and it doesn’t. And then we become disappointed which contributes to our pain. Sometimes if we expect something to make us better and it doesn’t, our spirits sink even lower than before. Also, some people get lots of money and then spend more than that thinking they have it to spend and go in debt. 

This man is wise enough to know not to automatically count all that gold as a blessing. The real blessing is the wisdom to handle it well.

I have never been rich, financially, but there are occasions I spent way more money than I should have, thinking it would help my depression and sometimes it helped temporarily and often not at all. But even on the occasions it cheered me up a bit, a deeper emptiness and disappointment often followed, only adding to my depression. I expected all the pretty things to fulfill me and they did not. This only escalated my misery along with putting me in some serious debt.

There are occasions I was depressed and waited for packages to come in the mail and anticipated the happiness they would bring me. I was thrilled, ripping the package opened. But for what? All I found was an empty space. An empty place, deep inside me that material things can never fill. They can add to my happiness, temporarily bring me joy. But never can money or things bring me true, deep, happiness. When I’m already happy and get a sweet package in the mail, this is way better than being depressed and expecting it to fulfill me. Pretty things can for sure cheer me up but not make me happy if I’m not basically happy already. 

If someone’s only problem is not having money for food and this is seriously contributing to despair or unhappiness, money can help significantly. We usually need money for food and food to live. Money is important in some ways but it’s not everything. As long as we have enough to have our basic needs met, that is enough even if we can’t go on shopping sprees, live in a big extravagant house, have the most expensive up to date technology and car and clothes…

But for the most part, money won’t solve our problems. Financially rich people still die, still get sick, still get depressed and anxious, and experience loss. And financially struggling people can still be happy and generally satisfied. And the other way around. Rich people can be happy and fulfilled and poor people can suffer with emotional pain and feel purposeless. It’s all about our attitude. And we can work on our attitude and develop/strengthen positive habits.

I think this is true for physical beauty, cosmetic surgery, relationships of any kind, mostly anything external. They complement our happiness, cheer us up, help us cope and we can be happy about them even if we’re not very happy in general. But they themselves can’t make us happy or truly blissful in a general way. We can have very good relationships, be physically beautiful and still be miserable even if we are happy with how we look and the relationships we have. But I think connecting with people, animals, nature, the outside world, helping others….add to our (for most of us probably) happiness and bring a deeper joy more than money and other inanimate objects.

Money and material things are great when we rule them instead of them ruling us. And it’s good to remember we don’t need them for true happiness. 

“Detachment doesn’t mean you own nothing; it means nothing owns you.”

Connecting with others, helping, focusing on the good, an attitude of gratitude….these are better ways to be happy! (in my opinion) 

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Here's a sweet little love song for you:

In This Life – Collin Raye – mobile
In This Life – desktop

“For all I’ve been blessed with in this life,
there was an emptiness in me.
I was imprisoned by the power of gold.
With one honest touch, you set me free.
Let the world stop turning,
let the sun stop burning.
Let them tell me love’s not worth going through.
If it all falls apart, I will know deep in my heart
the only dream that matters has come true;
in this life, I was loved by you.”
~ Collin Raye

I love the message here. And it’s a beautiful song. This person opened him up to a new view and he realized what is truly important and even if this person leaves him, he is still changed by this person’s love and will still always cherish being loved at one point by him/her. He knows it’s love that’s important in this life. This is different than a lot of romantic love songs because it’s not like a pathetic attachment love song like “if you leave me, I’ll lay down and die” or “without you I’m nothing.”  He knows he will be changed in a positive way even if “it all falls apart” and just the experience of being loved by that person is enough forever. And I know it’s a romantic love song (probably) but this can apply to all love, platonic and universal and romantic. The power of love trumps the power of gold!

❤ 😀

Much0 love to you!

Xoxo Kim  ❤ ❤

p.s. Just to make you smile:

“Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.” ~ Bo Derek 😀 ;-D

Headache

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“Well, I found you
Maybe you can help me
And I can help you” ~ Frank Black

I woke up with the absolute WORST headache today! I woke up with it throbbing violently. It’s not the kind that feels like a cluster headache (those are the very worst) but feels like a bad migraine headache, which is also very bad. It’s like a living hell today. Eww! This pain is disgusting, it just throbs and aches and pulses in certain places escalating on and off all in the back, around the eyes…

For a while I couldn’t even listen to music, the sound even of low, slow, soft songs, was too much, just pounding into my head and made the throbbing worse. I thought it would make it better! Even the gentle soft notes felt shrill and rough against my head. I had to lay in bed with my dogs for a while, covering my eyes to block out any light. 

My dog, Emmy, he’s so adorable, he knew something was wrong with me and he kept putting his paw lightly on my face and licking my eyes! What a sweet boy! And he has a skin allergy he gets in Summer & the beginning of Fall but he was still more concerned about my pain. ❤ He knows when I'm depressed or lonely too and he tries to nurse me back to health. 

This is him:

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Isn’t he cute?!?! He’s a purebred pompom.

Laying down made it worse sometimes but I also couldn’t stand or sit up so had to lay a certain way. I felt as if there was no way out, nowhere to go, nothing to do. It’s not the kind that contributes to me feeling the urge to scream or run or panic or like I’m going literally insane but I felt so trapped and it was hard to remain still but also to pace. 

I had to work tonight and only one person works each shift so it’s not always easy to get off at the last minute. My mom suggested I try to find a coworker to work for me and stay home. 

But I decided to go. I don’t really like annoying people at the last minute and also I thought maybe it would be helpful to not give in to the pain and just do what I always do, get up, go to work, be positive. Not ignore or deny it but not let it conquer me. It can get us to have to stay in bed or not go to work but we don’t have to let it drag us down emotionally as well.  Sometimes pain or sickness is just too much and we just really cannot even stand up or do anything. For a while this is how it felt but I decided to get up and push through it. It throbbed so badly and at some points I almost felt despair. I wasn’t unhappy though, just unhappy about the headache. 

My physical pain disorder can be like this sometimes. Fortunately it’s not often that I have severe flare ups this bad. 

Anyway, I forced myself to get up and go to work. First I forced myself to do neck stretches and massages to try to help the pain. At first it can make it worse til it makes it better. This doesn’t always work but sometimes works wonders.  Today it worked. My pain remained but not as bad. It takes courage and emotional strength to get up and move with a violently pounding head. 

At one point the pain was so bad I slid to the floor with my head in my hands writhing in agony. And in the middle of all this I still found things to smile about! 😀

I remember laughing as I attempted to pick myself up off the floor. I couldn’t help but feel a bit amused. 

In some ways I feel the physical pain is worse than the depression because it’s harder to handle, in my opinion. It’s louder and demands attention right then. Sometimes I cannot lay down or remain still or do much of anything but collapse and scream or pace. But in some ways physical pain can be better because with physical pain it can sometimes be easier to dissociate in a way, it can be easier to still feel like smiling and laughing. It can strengthen our will to survive while depression often saps all the desire to laugh and the will to live. Not always but often it tends to do that. Physical pain can definitely sap our will to live and desire to smile but sometimes it’s easier than with emotional pain. Physical pain and mood can be separated. But depression is a mood or mood disorder so it’s kind of more difficult. It is possible though to be positive even with depression. It can be so difficult but possible. 

Also, emotional pain like depression seems threaded throughout my entire being or self or existence when I’m depressed. Physical pain related to my disorder consumes my entire existence it seems, but I often feel like it’s a thing separate than me while depression often runs deeper and feels like it is me sometimes. I’m thankful for the experience with pain. Both kinds. I feel that it deepens me and completes me and I see things in a way I would never know without it. I think I have had enough pain though in this life so it can feel free to go now! Lol ;-D I’m not depressed but last week I was able to detect an impending episode which I’m doing very well battling so it doesn’t become a full blown episode. Usually I have to battle it for weeks or months, however long the episode would have lasted, I guess. 

I was disappointed that my severe pain had to flare up on a day I have work. This kind of pain only usually lasts one day. Tomorrow is my day off and I was thinking why couldn’t it have decided to attack me then instead. But I’m more on the positive side, naturally & generally. And my brain automatically thought it’s ok because then my day off will be more fun without this pain! And if it was the other way around and my pain was on a day off, I can think it’s ok because then I won’t have to work in agony. Positive thinking is so wonderful! On days when it doesn’t come as naturally, I can usually force it more easily since I’m already in the habit. No matter how positive we are naturally, we can develop an intentional habit! It makes everything so much better! 

So I did come to work tonight and again there was a very happy story on the news!

I shared a little happy story a couple weeks ago about a dog and this story also involves a dog!

https://inspirationalgem.wordpress.com/2015/10/17/in-the-news/

On the news tonight, a girl and her husband were sharing their story and love for their dog.

They were at a friend’s cabin in the woods somewhere, celebrating the man’s 30th birthday, and someone left the door open and the dog, Hank, ran away into the wilderness. They did everything they were able to do but couldn’t find Hank. Their worst fear was that Hank was eaten by a wild animal. According to the news program, according to statistics, if a pet is gone for over 30 days, that pet most likely will not be back.

Hank was missing for two months when he was found alive & well and returned to his humans!
The girl said she looked out and saw the truck pulling up to their house with Hank’s head hanging out! Lol That’s so cute! She cried tears of joy to have him back. 

It’s so heartwarming to see the love they have for their furbaby. They have decorations in their house about dogs saying “All you need is love…and a dog!” and “Dogs are people too!”
I most certainly agree! ❤

I'm so happy they got their baby back alive & healthy & happy! They also have a cat and he was playing with the kitty! 

They said to always have hope because you never know when something can work in our favor even when statistics are not. I don't remember their exact words but that's the sentiment. It can apply to most things, I believe. 

It's good to have hope but let's remember not to let it hold us back. It's possible to obsess and overlook all that we have now, hoping for something more or better. So hope isn't always a good thing if not handled well. 

We can have hope for the future but also appreciate now.

For example, it's good to have hope that my headache will go away but not good to not let myself be happy now or hold off on things until it does. I can cope with the pain and make room for it, rest when I can, but still do what I want to when I can. I wasn't going to read my book at first because I thought it wouldn't be as fun reading it with a throbbing head. Then I thought but why not anyway because it's good to make the most of the life we have right now. If reading made it worse I wouldn't but it wasn't making it worse. This moment still matters even with a splitting headache. 

I'm so happy I walked into work to another happy story! Which just happens to be another story about a doggy!! ❤

Dogs really are some of the best friends we can have! I have six babies and they're just adorable! 

Here are two of them! 

This is Emmy

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 & 

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This is Woody, Emmy’s baby boy. 
Emmy has two babies, a boy & a girl, Quinny.

Emmy is two years old and Woody & Quinny are one year!

They are both loving and cute and snuggly.

Woody is very playful and wild. They love bones and toys & blankies.

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This is Prince Oscar. We don’t know how old he is but he’s definitely old! He’s so adorable and a big grump! He loves attention when we just wake up or walk through the door or even just down the stairs after leaving for a couple minutes! He cries until he gets petted.  He also loves sweets! Sometimes I bring him an ice cream cone after work. 

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This is my baby, Isis Summerjo, she is eight years old but very youthful! 
She loves attention and going for walks! She’s extremely gentle and loving & sweet.

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This is Woody’s twin sister, Quinny. She’s so happy & loving and gently puts her paw on our hands and on the other dogs’ and cat’s faces! She’s very gentle but when we’re least expecting it, the girl jumps up and nips our noses off! She’s a wild girl!  

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This is Boobie. She’s the mommy and she’s thirteen years old. She’s very cute and loves her babies. She makes sure they eat first and she cleans them. She begs for food by throwing her head back and opening her mouth to show us where food goes! She doesn’t play with toys but occasionally she would bring a toy to look cute to get our food! Lol so cute!! When her puppies were born we got them a pac n play and Boobie used to throw up in it on purpose to feed her babies even though they couldn’t eat it and were being fed properly! Lol my mom & sister found it disgusting! But she was only taking care of her babies! 

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“I got me so down, I got me a headache
My heart is crammed in my cranium and it still knows how to pound”

Headache – Frank Black – mobile

Headache – desktop

I like listening to this upbeat song and I found it one day a couple years ago while searching for songs about physical pain to help me cope with my headaches when they are bad.

I hope your day/night is a good one! Much love to you!

and if you are struggling with pain of any kind, always remember,

“You can be greater than anything that can happen to you.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale ❤

😀

xoxo Kim