Get to know me survey!!! yeeeaaa!!!

IMG_14166008_1(1)_1


This is a little “get to know me better” bloggy survey!  

So here, get to know me better! Lol ;-D

1.) Define yourself in eleven words.
Empathetic, compassionate, alive, mindful, positive, trusting, happy, depressed, loving, amused, inspired

IMG_14166714 

2.) Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
I’m a very shy extrovert! I love my own company but also love to be around people! I’m not the life of the party, I’m the quiet girl waiting for someone to come talk to me but I feel very uplifted and energized and hopeful in a room full of people whether or not I  know them, even if no one is talking to me. I may come off as reserved or socially anxious or introverted or a loner but that’s totally not the case! I’m just shy. But I eventually will open up. You’ll be sorry! Lol j/k

IMG_14166033(1)(1)

3.) What kind of food won’t you eat?

Cantaloupe, Eww! 

4.) Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Ahh, this question! I never much cared for it. Lol I just go with the flow, bask in the beauty of now. I’m not much of a planner, especially not that much into the future!

IMG_14169815_1(1)

5.) If you could trade places with one person for a day, who would you be?
This would probably be interesting but I’m not so sure I would trade places even for only a day. There’s no one I want to be other than me. It would be enlightening though to see the world through someone else’s eyes, to live and breathe as someone else. I may like to trade with multiple people throughout the day to get various perspectives. If I can only choose one, I would probably choose someone very different than me in some way like someone of a different culture or religious view or someone with an unusual experience so in combination with my own views and experiences, I can try to deepen my understanding of the world and others in general. 

“She woke up every morning with the option of being anyone she wished. How beautiful it was that she always chose herself.” ~ Tyler Kent White

6.) What is your best quality? List two. 
My compassion. I’m not always compassionate but generally I have very deep compassion for all living sentient beings, even those who seem difficult to me. I don’t always feel or act on compassion, I can be cold, an asshole, angry…but for the most part I’m very compassionate. And I try to get better and better. 

Also my lighthearted attitude and how easily amused I am! I can be in severe pain, physical or emotional and still find laughter and lightness often. It’s a fantastic way to be. It’s so inspiring. Everything doesn’t have to be so serious. 

IMG_14168078_zps0qv3kw4g

7.) What book has changed your life? Why? A book called 3:00am. I wrote about it here before! It’s a fictional murder mystery with the main character being someone with a very rare  sleep disorder with no known cure and the book really conveys the message of how each minute, each moment, each breath we take is extremely valuable, important, worth acknowledging and savoring. The man in the book only has one hour each day to be awake so he plans literally every minute individually to get the most in life, he goes for a run, reads his favorite books, goes on the Internet, talks to his dad…and plans each and every minute to live to the fullest before he falls asleep for 23 hours. The story is a reminder that each of us only has these moments right here, right now. We don’t have this disorder but we too only have a limited number of minutes to be awake/alive

I don’t always live like this but after reading that book I am changed and realize and live in such a way more than I used to, so that each minute counts and is the best it can be. 

“Let’s cherish every moment we have been given; the time is passing by…” ~ Kool & the Gang

Here are a couple excerpts:

“Those minutes are my life, I nearly scream. Those minutes that you take so much for granted because you get a thousand of them each day are priceless to me. Your life is measured by title, wealth, and status. My life is measured in grains of sand, trickling from one teardrop to the other.
My nostrils flare when I’m angry and I wonder if Ray feels a small gust of wind. Taking a calm breath, I ponder telling her that I’m Henry Bins and I have Henry Bins. I don’t.” 

(Henry Bins is the disorder named after this man who was the first in the world to be diagnosed.)

“It’s like Christmas, each minute a beautifully wrapped gift just waiting to be opened. Should I allow myself an extra minute in the shower? Could I read three more pages of my book? Run another quarter mile? Watch a YouTube video? Watch the swimming pool scene from Wild Things, twice?”
Check out my post if you want:

https://inspirationalgem.wordpress.com/2014/10/30/300am/

8.) What is your biggest problem/s in life?
One would be my struggle with grief. Also my physical pain disorder and depressive disorder but they are not constantly severe or always a problem. Grief never goes away as long as we live and can be quiet and mellow then out of nowhere or as a result of a trigger (a certain song, place, memory, person, picture…) become raw and violent. The raw & violent moments of grief are very hard to deal with. I found a way for the most part, and I’m getting better and better with it, to make space in my head, life, self…for this grief and other pain, to live in harmony with the rest of me. It’s not always easy but it doesn’t have to interfere with life and happiness. I am blessed, I don’t have many problems or serious things going on. It’s mostly because of my attitude. I am generally, naturally optimistic and cheerful even though I also struggle with depression. So my natural optimism and cheerfulness strengthened with intentional habits and techniques can make problems seem less serious and easier to cope with. Also, problems and pain can teach and strengthen us if we allow them.  

20150804170015

9.) Who is your role model?
I don’t have one. There’s really no one I try to be like and live up to. Except the Buddha, Buddha Shakymuni, I try to live up to his ways. I want my love, my compassion, my happiness, my selflessness…to mirror his. I don’t always succeed at it and still have a long way to go probably. I am very mortal, fragile, weak next to him, but it’s so good to try. I practice Buddhist meditation, listen to Buddhist songs, attend classes, have Mala recitation beads, and try to live each day inspired by Buddha and practice his Teachings. Dharma is my inspiration and guide. There’s so much I don’t know but I’m learning more & more about Dharma.  

IMG_14163653

IMG_14170000(1)_1_1

10.) Do you have any insecurities? What are they? Yes and I love to be open about my flaws, weaknesses, mistakes, problems…because it can inspire others to accept their own and reach out to people in need. I know I can be criticized or mocked when I share, which I do not want to happen, but I think it’s worth the risk. I have already had things I shared about my mental health condition used against me, I had Facebook friends who used it against me and wrote intentionally rude things about my psychotic condition. When we share our less than perfect aspects, other people can feel less alone and more accepting of themselves and others. It’s worth the risk of being attacked or assaulted verbally. (in my opinion) Also, I like people to know much about me.
If they love me anyway, very good, I’m so honored! If not, I will love them and send them on their own way. ❤ For the most part, I'm a confident girl, not insecure. But sometimes I have a limited thought or insecurity that flares up, especially when I'm depressed. Sometimes I struggle with feelings of worthlessness and loneliness. I have often felt the more people I know and friends I have, the more valuable and worthy of life I will be. And the less I have the less valuable I am. And I never had many friends, sometimes I had none or felt like I had none. Sometimes I get jealous of people with lots of friends and big families. The truth is, we don't need lots of friends or family or any to be happy and worthy. Most people probably are happier with friends/family than none. We are social creatures, meant to socialize and be part of groups. I am happier having friends but it's still possible to be happy without any. And other people and things outside of ourselves do not give us value or importance. I'm much better with this insecurity but still struggle now and again with it especially if I'm depressed. It seems like an adolescent problem but I still struggle with it.  Another insecurity, sometimes I feel that I'm not cut out for living or “meant” to live, not in a spiritual or supernatural sense but a depressed sense like I'm so done with living and everything even when I have no specific external problems going on, even when good things are happening, it's a very deep and dangerous feeling or delusion. It's a strong belief and feeling that I am not compatible with life and do not want to be here. It can be very brief lasting just a few minutes or hours up to weeks or months. When I experience it I think it's true and often this is when I come close to killing myself or seriously thinking about killing myself. Also, another insecurity I have very often when I'm depressed is that everyone thinks I should be dead, not that they want me dead necessarily but think I just should be and I feel I have to justify my existence. This is one of the more common things I struggle with. When I'm depressed I often have a strong sense of embarrassment like everyone who looks at me can see right through me and thinks “She has no reason to even exist, she should just die already, what's she still doing here?” This feeling or delusion is also dangerous and I am more likely to kill myself I think, when I experience it than when I do not. When I experience this I often feel that people are mocking me and whispering about me and thinking I am inherently flawed. It is a very difficult thing to endure. It's not that I think everyone always thinks about me but when I feel this way, I think they think it when they are around me or whenever they do think of me. And it's not uncommon for me to experience, unfortunately.  I would never want people to think I have no insecurities or flaws or am never less than happy! I want to be positive and cheerful but genuine. 

IMG_14164364(1)

11.) What do you believe?
??? Well let's see, I believe we are all One, One with each other, the whole uni-verse, nature, the stars and moon & sun, animals….I often feel very connected to others and the world around me. I always have since I was a little girl but never knew how to put it into words. I am all for universal love, wishing everyone the best, wanting everyone to be happy and well, not at the expense of others though. When one person wins, we all win. When one person or animal dies, a light goes out on all of us. Your suffering is my suffering, your happiness is mine. Even if someone gets the job I want, I can be happy for that person. If someone has what I desperately want and do not have, I can still be happy and congratulate the person. If it's difficult at first, I can tune into my wisdom of Oneness.
I don't always feel this way even though I believe it. Sometimes I'm depressed and do not feel connected to anyone or anything. Sometimes I'm lonely or jealous or uninspired. But I always find my way back. 

12.) Does blogging enrich or better your life? Yes! Both the people I meet/communicate with and my own writing. I write for others and myself. I know every post may not be read by someone or “liked” or liked but it's still worth it to write and share. It will always be here for anyone who may find it and for me. I don't always publish everyday but I do write for the blog every single day. I am inspired almost everyday, some days the whole day, some days only one moment but each day I find something to inspire me or just feel inspired. I am inspired by what I read, see, feel…..and love to share and uplift or inspire others as well. Writing for here helps me think more clearly and in a more deep way. Sometimes my own writing inspires me! I have a whole collection since 2012 to look back on whenever I want. Once in a while WordPress suggests an old post to read after I publish a new one and I check it out and it's years old and still so inspiring! It's especially helpful when I'm depressed or in severe physical pain and I look back on an old post of mine and know I felt that way and can feel that way again. Other people's positive thoughts and writing can be so uplifting, inspiring,and helpful but there's a certain kind of hope and inspiration knowing I felt that way myself once and have it in me to feel that way again. My cover photo on Facebook says “Life is beautiful.” I don't always feel that way. Often but not always. And when I'm depressed/suicidal or having an agonizing headache, when I see that, I am reminded that I once felt that life is beautiful and can feel that again. Can feel that way NOW! Or soon. 

Most of the stuff I post here is timeless and can apply to anyone. I share my own experiences but try to in a way so anyone at all can relate. Not everyone has depression or headaches but when I write of my experiences with those, I try to make it so anyone can take any problem no matter how minor or serious, and relate. Most of us have basic empathy to relate to one another and we can deepen it.

I feel that writing for here also strengthens my positive attitude in general. It reinforces it, maintains it. I would be positive anyway mostly, but this deepens it and helps me be positive in moments I may not be without it. 
It helps to strengthen my habit of looking on the brighter side of life. I write here of my struggles and my positive way of handling them. Sometimes I don't feel like handling them positively but I am reminded of what I share here frequently and often get inspired to be more positive. It's like a reminder to myself while also potentially helping or reminding others. And I love when I get comments, likes, and shares. ❤

Since I make this mostly a positive place but also genuine, I do admit my flaws and less than pleasant qualities and situations but I highlight my strengths and good qualities and it carries over into life off of the blog. I remember to admit my weaknesses but also appreciate my strengths and blessings more.

13.) What kind of music do you like to listen to? 
I love all kinds but especially Oldies, country, and inspirational! I love love songs and ones with deep meaning and positive messages. I also like angry death metal! Lol! When I was young I felt in some ways that I could relate to it and identify and also found it hilarious. Now I still find it hilarious and laugh hysterically at the same songs! They never get old!  

14.) four facts about yourself:

IMG_14167710(_1

1.) green & pink are two of my favorite colors 
2.) if I were to die I would love if my organs can go to someone in need “Don’t take your organs to Heaven, Heaven knows we need them here!” 
In fact, I would love to give one of my kidneys to anyone in need even when I’m alive. I heard the transplant is more likely to be a success with a living donor. Want my kidney? You can have it if you desperately need it to live(I’m not going to sell it to people trying to get money or something…)!! Just let me know. (if I’m allowed to give it, I heard living donors who want to give a kidney to a random stranger must endure some grueling hours of psychiatric evaluation. And I have severe, severe depression but I’m not trying to die, I know what I’m in for! But the doctors may think I’m not thinking clearly because of my history of suicidal depression. But I can assure them I am! I just want to help! It is not without risks and won’t be always easy, but it’s worth it and the medical people make it as safe as possible. I want someone to live. I have two perfect, beautiful kidneys, I only need one!! I have no money so hopefully it doesn’t cost anything on my part! Lol) I don’t want anything in return other than someone living.
Since I was a young girl I have been deeply touched and inspired by the idea of organ donation even though I have never been personally touched by it. 
I always had a strong desire to help. 
I have known for as long as I can remember that I want my organs to go to someone else when I no longer need them. The only reason is that I want someone else to live. There are so many waiting for an organ and there are many organs that would save people’s lives but the person does not consent to donation. Every single eligible person can help.  
I don’t care who they go to. People have asked me, “But what if your heart goes to a ‘nasty,’ ‘undeserving,’ ‘no good,’ …..or whatever other unpleasant adjective….person?!” First of all, most people are not nasty or no good. So that is unlikely. Also it’s better to take the chance of saving an “unworthy” person than not and a “good” person dies. But anyway, everyone deserves to live! 

But I don’t judge those who refuse to donate their organs before or after death even though I wish everyone would after death! I understand and it’s your choice. Organ donation is a beautiful gift and it’s amazing how doctors can perform transplants! What a gift! To have parts of someone else to keep us alive! To give parts of our self to keep someone else alive! Incredible beauty! 
Thank you doctors, nurses, technicians….& organ donors/families & beautiful people!! <333 ❤ Thank You, thank you!! So many people are alive NOW because of the love of organ donors and their families and the love and hard work of the medical professionals involved. 

3.) I'm reading a beautiful novel, that I just found accidentally, about a heart transplant and the pain & beauty of the families involved, how one young woman lives because another young woman died, the guilt and gratitude she experiences and the resentment the dead woman's husband has for the family who received the heart. It's called “Irreplaceable” and conveys so many mixed emotions both painful and beautiful that all involved experience. 
4.) I have hipbone length hair and don't ever want it any shorter. 

IMG_14169840(1)_1_1_1

15.) What eleven words do NOT typically describe you?
Motivated (I’m a lazy bum), organized (I’m a slob & a wreck), greedy (well obviously! See above, I’m ready to give you my kidney!), athletic(sports bore me…and I’m lazy!), aloof(i love being close to others both physically and emotionally – I love hugs!), stressed(I’m often calm and handle things well and work well under pressure), dramatic (I’m quiet and balanced – usually), loud (I have a tendency to scream when people walk in my room {it could be an axe murderer for all I know!} but other than that you won’t even know I’m here!), tenacious (the description for zodiac sign for me, insists that I am/should be stubborn but I’m quite the opposite!, I am extremely easy-going, trusting, and have even been called a “push-over” on occasion!), sensitive (in the sense that I’m not easy to offended or hurt emotionally, I can handle criticism, jokes, sarcasm…), moralist/sanctimonious (I don’t like acting like I always know what is right or acting like I live better than anyone else)

Is that eleven? I sort of lost count! 😉

I hope your day is going amazingly!! 

And hopefully you got to know me/know me a bit better?!

If you want, take the survey and let me know! I would just love to see your answers! One of my favorite things to read is “about me” pages & random facts about people. It’s so fun seeing little glimpses of who someone is. ❤

Hugs & love to you, always!

😀

Xoxo Kim 

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “Get to know me survey!!! yeeeaaa!!!

    • Thank You very much! I think I saw one of your posts before and commented a while ago. It’s about the single sunflower that grew out of nowhere! An inspiring post I think is yours! 😀
      I mostly only see the blogs that come through to my e-mail, I’m missing so many great blog posts! I’m going to save some more blogs that don’t come through to my e-mail so I can keep better track. Some show up in my reader but many don’t.
      Thank you for checking out my post and commenting!!

      • I like your posts, you have some great thoughts that you share. I rememeber now you liked the sunflower, alas now with winter fast approaching it had died. I know what you mean about missing posts, WP seems to vet your reader view. But please feel free to pass by and say hi anytime 🙂

  1. I think blogs are perfect places for finding like-minded people who like you for who you are and can appreciate your fine points. It is our commonalities that count and not our differences. Lift and inspire!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s