For a friend <3

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“And now I’m left without, but you’re here within
As I watch the sun go down, watching the world fade away
All the memories of you come rushing back to me
As I watch the sun go down, watching the world fade away
All I want to do is kiss you once goodbye”
~ Jimmy Somerville 

This is a song I love and sometimes I listen to it when my grief (about different losses) is at its worst. I discovered this song a few years ago after my dog, Koko, died of old age.

I felt destroyed and like my loss is unbearable. My agony over the loss of my dog felt like it was killing me. Sometimes I still feel that. Shortly after my dog died in 2013, I was so griefstricken and was searching for anything to help me and I stumbled upon this song riddled with love & loss.

It’s a beautiful song about the devastating loss of a friend. It’s very sad but hopeful too.

Grief & loss can feel so lonely but it’s something almost everyone experiences at least once at some point. We almost all will lose a friend, a parent, a pet, a grandparent…and we won’t all experience it the same exact way or handle it the same. But underneath it all, is that sense of loss & grief that most of us will relate to in some way. 

“I never cried the way I cried over you
As I put down the telephone and the world it carried on
Somewhere else, someone else is crying too
Another man has lost a friend, I bet he feels the way I do”

I love this line here because it displays empathy. Whatever we are experiencing, pleasant or unpleasant, no matter how unique our inner experience is or feels, it’s very likely someone else, somewhere out there, is feeling or has felt the same way or very similarly. 

It’s great to remember that, not just because we can feel less lonely but it deepens our empathy for others and can deepen our sense of connection and oneness with others we know or not know personally. 

It’s not good that others are suffering but since there are people suffering like us, it’s good to reach out to each other or share our stories so others can feel a sense of being understood. 

Empathy isn’t just about understanding or feeling the pain of others but also sharing in their joy, success, and happiness.

I have been listening to this song and thinking about my friend/coworker, Diane, who I was close to and worked with for almost ten years. She died unexpectedly of a heart attack at work almost a year ago. I experience all kinds of emotions about it, anger, confusion, fear, despair, pain…, sometimes I feel as if I’m drowning or suffocating. But I also experience love & gratitude which I know are strong enough to conquer all those horrific emotions. Love & gratitude won’t burn them out completely but they make them easier to bear. 

Grief doesn’t go away usually, but we learn to handle it as the days go on and it heals to a certain degree.

“I’ll never let you down, a battle I have found
And all the dreams we had, I will carry on
As I watch the sun go down, watching the world fade away
All the memories of you come rushing back to me
As I watch the sun go down, watching the world fade away
All I want to do is kiss you once goodbye, goodbye
Goodbye, goodbye”

Beautiful lyrics! ❤

I feel his pain. </3 ❤

Let's remember the positive qualities of the ones we lost and honor them each day. Bask in the happy memories and the fact we got to know them as long as we did even if it wasn't very long. We could have never encountered them in this life but we did and that's a blessing even with the severe pain. 

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Much love & light & inner peace to you, always.

❤ 😀

Xoxo Kim 

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8 thoughts on “For a friend <3

  1. “Healing comes from letting there be room for all of “this” to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.” – Pema Chodron

    Blessings!

  2. This really touched me. It’s so helpful when you are really suffering to realize how someone else is also suffering in the same way. Just knowing that your experience is not unique really helps to lessen the pain. I was actually going to do a post about this exact topic, and how it has helped me to overcome very profound anxiety. Thanks for the inspiration! 😊

    • Thank you for your kind words! My main blogging goal is to somehow touch others for the better. I love finding other blogs with similar topics to mine. It’s great to reach out and share our experiences to let others know we have a sense of understanding. ❤

      • You’re doing a great job, because I was definitely touched. And you’re right, it’s so great to find other people in a similar place and to be able to share and help each other grow.😊

  3. I lost my grandfather 6 years ago. He was like a friend to me, we used to live with my grandparents so I grew up with them around all the time.
    I guess I thought of them as constants, so it was a huge cause of heartache to me when he passed away.
    He used to say he wanted to see me get my degree, now I am close to that degree and I take solace in the fact that he would be proud of me.
    Thank You for putting a bandaid on my heart with this post. 😊

    • Thank you so much for sharing this with me. ❤ I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. It's so great though that you have sweet memories of your grandfather and carry him in your heart always. It's a great way to honor those we have lost by still including them in our everyday by thinking and speaking of them and other various ways. ❤ Congratulations on your accomplishments! I wish you all the best. I just saw your comment now, that's why I'm responding so late. I'm happy you find a bit of consolation in my post. That's always my intention to touch others for the better in any way I can.

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