Archive | January 2016

The Pay Phone

Beautiful post about living in the present while also appreciating old mostly forgotten things like pay phones and the stories surrounding them. 😀 ❤

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Everything & Everyone <3

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“If we could see everything and everyone as beautiful we would not develop anger or jealousy but would feel affectionate love for all living beings.” ~ Geshe Kelsang Gyatso

Let’s focus on the good in each other & our own self & everything around us and get our minds in the habit of loving.

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“You’re my life,
You’re my breath,
You’re a smile
You’re my guest
You’re the earth
You’re the sun
You’re the grass
You are love
You’re my hands
You’re a bug
You’re my eyes
You’re a hug
You’re the light
In the dark
You’re the spark
You are fun
You’re my mom
You are water
You’re the stars
You’re my daughter
Your my friend
Till the end 
You’re my dreams
You’re my father
You’re the ants on the ground
The miracles that surround
I’m feelin’ it all around
The hemisphere and the clouds
You’re my pain you’re my sorrow
You’re my hope for tomorrow
You’re the strength when I’m hollow
You’re the path that I follow
You’re the blessings that exist
The small things that are bliss
The gift to realize that
Everything is a gift.”~ Nimo Patel – Empty Hands

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This is a most beautiful song. It’s called Grateful and is a musical love song to the world. The whole world, everyone & everything. Friends, family, strangers, insects, clouds, the beauty all around….all encompassing love. ❤

"All that I am
All that I see
All that I've been and all that I'll ever be
Is a blessing
Its so amazing
And I’m grateful for it all, for it all" ~ Nimo

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It’s true, everything is a gift. I love the feeling of Oneness. To feel like everyone I encounter is family or can be. To feel connected to the sky, the trees and flowers, the buildings and the air, myself dissolves into the Oneness and it’s a true gift.

I'm wishing you much love & light today & always!!

😀 ❤

xoxo Kim

Deity in Diversity

Breathtaking poem & photo!! ❤ I can feel the love and beauty seeping through the screen as I read!

Everything I Never Told You

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Maybe someday we will
have written about humanity
and grace so much
that the paper we scribble on
will burn down
the forest of hate
that grows in casket-closed minds,
eradicating words like
racism, hate, bigotry.

The fire cleansing away
evil and ignorance.
Strike a match with
your pen.

Let’s try at least to
direct the language toward love.
Let’s keep moving the
adjectives higher and higher.
Trust the verbs to lead us,
the pin of light, to the fire.

Maybe as the trees come undone,
leaves igniting,
branches bursting with truth,
charity and clarity will rise.
Rustling beneath skin.
Love rising, tapping deep.
Opening eyes and cleaning tongues
in the dialect of compassion.
Hope slipping into the core.
Porous and large.
Looking out in every direction
until it is inside the sky,
the rocks, the moon.
Lacing the night and hearts with promise,
the rainy season finally over.

Until…

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“Be melting snow.
Wash yourself of yourself.” ~Rumi

Today I woke up with the headache worse than usual when I wake up, but it wasn’t the worst. Now it’s a lot better. 

I woke up with this feeling like this life can’t be better than this. I have no money (I haven’t been working because of the weather, my boss closes for wicked weather! ) and I have a chronic headache but life is still beautiful! 

I feel so inspired, so beautiful, so hopeful, so grand. The sun is shining brightly through the bare trees, the ground and everything is covered in melting snow and ice and sludge. It’s so hard to walk because my shoes slip and fill with cold slush. And it’s all so beautiful.

I saw a few birds flying by out my bedroom window. Some of my favorite kind of days are cool/warm Winter days that remind me of an impending Spring. Especially when they are covered in snow and the sun is shining brightly!

I love when the seasons collide and mesh together to form a beautiful medley.

Today I’m eating chocolate Oreo cookies with green mint in the middle instead of the original white cream. They are delicious!! Mint is my absolute favorite! The scent of the mint in these cookies is heavenly. 

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The air is so cool and so sweet today. It caresses my skin so gently and is exhilarating.

I’m generally happy but I also have recurring episodes of severe depression. The episodes often come close together. They last hours,days, weeks, or months. They used to last around three and four months, sometimes longer. And often in the middle I would have less severe, but often still severe, depression. Through the years I worked on myself to be better and better. Now I’m still not cured but my depression is much less frequent. The duration of my depressive episodes usually isn’t months anymore. Usually they last a month or less now. And I don’t have longterm depression in the middle anymore. Sometimes I still have symptoms in the intervals but not always and not usually as bad. Also, I cope with the depression much better now. 

This sunny afternoon, I was thinking what a sharp contrast this beautiful feeling is when compared to that deep, dark, depression I lived (and sometimes still live), for years and years.

What a beautiful, sharp contrast. 

Just last night I felt somewhere all the way in the back of my mind that I may be detecting an impending episode. But it quickly vanished. I’m so thankful! Because it’s already in me to have depression, I can have symptoms very briefly that end as quickly as they begin. I can usually detect what kind of episodes I am about to be hit with and approximately how long I will have to endure it. And I can sometimes make it so it doesn’t hit too hard. Isn’t that amazing?! I have different degrees of depression, different severity levels, and different durations. Some only last hours to days while others last weeks to months. Some are severe and some beyond severe. Some are suicidal depression and some are not.

But today there’s not an ounce of depression in me. I am very mindful of not being depressed. One of the great things about having to live a life of longterm depression is when I’m not depressed, I never take it for granted. I realize even more how great it is to be happy! I realize not only how incredible it is to live but to want to live.

And today I am even more mindful of it than usual. 

I am filled with immense gratitude. 

And I am inspired by this beautiful season.
Winter inspires me deeply.

Yesterday I went for a walk to a couple of stores and I went out of my way just to walk more and to take beautiful pictures! 

I will share some here!

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This is the same picture with two different effects. Kids and their daddy sledding up on a hill having fun. It was so sweet and inspiring to hear their laughter & squealing and see their love. I remember when I was a little girl and would go sledding with my friends and my dad.

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I love the shadows and reflections upon the snow that the fence puts there with the sunlight streaming through the slits.

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The sun always comes out again. ❤

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I love seeing workers doing work outside.

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It’s not all beauty & fun though, I heard a few people were hurt and killed in the recent storm and a few died of heart attacks while shoveling the snow including an 80 something year old man and an eighteen year old girl who was pregnant. Seriously?! An 18 year old?! Her unborn baby and her both died. My heart just sinks. My love & compassion go out to all those affected by these terrible tragedies. How heartbreaking.

Last night my mom, sister, and me watched the movies My Girl & My Girl 2. I haven’t watched those movies in many years and never realized how inspiring they are.

Here is a song that the girl’s mom sings on a video in the second movie:

“Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile, if you just smile”
😀

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“Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it’s breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll see the sun come shining through for you”

A beautiful, inspiring reminder to smile even when things aren’t so perfect. There’s always something to smile about!! 😀 ❤

Much love to you,

xoxo Kim ❤

Life Ain’t Always Beautiful

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“Life ain’t always beautiful
Sometimes it’s just plain hard
Life can knock you down, it can break your heart
Life ain’t always beautiful
You think you’re on your way
And it’s just a dead end road at the end of the day
But the struggles make you stronger
And the changes make you wise
And happiness has its own way of takin its sweet time”

I love this beautiful Country song, written by Cyndi Goodman and Tommy Lee James and sung by Gary Allan. 

 It’s so inspiring and touching. And especially knowing one of his real life experiences of deep pain that may have influenced his choice to sing this song and with so much passion. 
The song is about how life can be hard and sad and not all good but it’s still a beautiful journey overall. 

“happiness has its own way of takin’ its sweet time”

Just because we aren’t happy right now or sometimes doesn’t mean we are destined to be unhappy forever. We can always become happy at any point as long as we are alive. 

Gary Allan is a man who experienced true tragedy. He lost his beautiful wife to suicide in 2004. What an unimaginable loss for him and their kids and other family and friends. My heart goes out to them. Imagine the pain and horror they must live with each day. 

His wife, Angela, suffered with severe headaches and depression for years and took her own life one night while she was at home with the children. Poor baby. It’s so devastating that she suffered how she did and couldn’t see the light through her darkness. I wish I could give her a hug. 

We can want to die one second but just a second later change our mind. Imagine how many suicide victims probably would have changed their minds if only they held on just a second longer. Imagine how many pulled the trigger just a second too soon. The depression, the headaches, the suicidal inclination, for many of us aren’t temporary. They are chronic or episodic and they come and go. Come and go. Appear then disappear. But even though they always come back, and even if they stay a while, they always go again or can if we hold on. It does not always feel as if it will or can end or that we can live with it. But the pain can end and/or we can learn to cope better. And we can still find beauty in pain, both physical & emotional. 

“No, life ain’t always beautiful
Tears will fall sometimes
Life ain’t always beautiful
But it’s a beautiful ride”

This song is full of so much strength and determination. So much hope. Instead of giving up and becoming bitter, he takes his pain and puts it into his singing to share beautiful messages with the world.

We can all take our pain, no matter how serious or minor, and turn it into good whether it’s through singing, writing, sharing our experiences or positive message any way we can. Even if it doesn’t reach as many as a famous person’s does, it can still reach at least one. And that is good enough. ❤

This song here can apply to any pain or problems we may have. 

Even through his agony and loss he can see beauty in this life. It's ok that life isn't always beautiful. We can seize all the beautiful moments and acknowledge them, honor them, cherish them instead of getting sucked into the bad and overlooking all the goodness.

Just because pain and tragedy and nonsense exist in life doesn't mean beauty and goodness is outweighed or has to take the back burner. Why let the bad side have all or most of the attention and energy? We have a choice where to place our attention. For some people, it may take a lot of practice to generally see the good. But it's always possible. 

I feel a pull in my chest and deep beauty well up in it when I listen to this song or read the lyrics.

I just love his gentle, kind of sad, but hopeful voice. It’s so beautiful.


"No, life ain't always beautiful
But I know I'll be fine
Hey, life ain't always beautiful
But it's a beautiful ride
What a beautiful ride"

Life Ain't Always Beautiful – Gary Allan 🙂

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Much love & light to you. ❤

Xoxo Kim ❤

If you want to be happy…

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“A pretty woman makes her husband look small
And very often causes his downfall.
As soon as he marries her 
Then she starts to do
The things that will break his heart.
But if you make an ugly woman your wife,
You’ll be happy for the rest of your life,
An ugly woman cooks her meals on time,
She’ll always give you peace of mind.”

An ugly woman?! I don’t think there is such a thing! Lol 

Since I’m sharing this song I decided to share a couple of the “ugliest” (there’s actually waayyy uglier ones my sister has of me that she takes of me during moments I least expect it but I won’t be sharing those here – she has them on Facebook though!) pics of me. lol It’s not that I’m ugly but these are pictures I took of myself recently during my horrible sore throat and stuff. I’m totally not in my underwear, just pj shorts. lol And I have chicken legs (natural ones, not because I’m sick) which my mom thinks are hilarious. They aren’t as noticeable in pants.

I took these pictures shortly after I felt my sickness slowly beginning to heal. I was celebrating my desire to “live again” after walking around like a zombie for a few days. lol So for this reason, I think they are beautiful pics!

This is me recovering just after a terrible sore throat and possibly a (mild) kidney infection.
I haven’t been this sick in quite a while. And if I look a wreck, in my defense, like I said, I’m sick but recovering very well!  

Don’t you just LOVE the feeling of getting over a sickness?! It’s a wonderful feeling for sure. When I’m listing things to be grateful for, even when I’m not sick and haven’t been in a while, I frequently think of the incredible feeling when a sickness begins to end. In general, most of us feel this feeling of not being sick but we tend to overlook it I think, take it for granted, because we’re so used to it….until we get sick. Then we realize how absolutely wonderful it is to not be sick. ❤

I was letting my dog out in the backyard to go potty and as I stood there at the door waiting (she doesn't like us to leave and close the door on her lol), I felt flooded with gratitude that I felt so much less sick! 

I'm sharing this funny song & pictures as part of my one word challenge! My word is beauty. It’s just a funny song, but definitely not true! There are lots of pretty girls who can make some delicious food and love to cook for others and are great loyal, wives, girlfriends, lovers…. 

This song, while kind of rude, is uplifting!  

“Say man. 
Hey baby. 
Saw your wife the other day. 
Yeah?
Yeah, she’s uglyyy. 
Yeah, she’s ugly but she sure can cook. 
Yeah?. Okay.”

Lol Whaaattt?!?

I can’t cook (but then again, I never even try…)and don’t want to and I don’t keep stuff neat and organized so I must be totally gorgeous!! ;-D

My view is if you truly want to be happy, look for the beauty in everyone. Not just physical beauty but inner beauty. “Look for the light in others and treat them as if that’s all you see.” Also not to assume things especially based on outter appearances. You may think a woman is ugly and it turns out she can’t cook at all and a woman you find stunning may be a great chef! 

And not just about cooking but anything. Lol Physical appearance can’t generally tell us much about someone!

This may seem like common sense but some people really do judge based on appearances. I’m not completely innocent of this myself. I don’t ever judge based on level of attractiveness but there have been occasions I just looked at someone and thought this person doesn’t seem like the most pleasant person and the person turned out to be the sweetest thing! Even if we get a first impression that isn’t good, we don’t have to act on it! Let’s give everyone a chance! ❤

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(This isn’t my photo but isn’t it sweet?!)

It’s hard though to listen to this song and not want to giggle or sing along! 😀 The tune is quite catchy, wouldn’t you say? 😀

Jimmy Soul – “If You Want to Be Happy”

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~Hugs!~ ❤ 😀

xoxo Kim