Depression Doesn’t Mean I’m Not Happy

Yes! Depression is a sickness; it does not mean we are not naturally happy people or that all our smiles and laughter is fake even on the days we’re depressed. It doesn’t mean we’re miserable. It’s not a bad attitude or bleak outlook on life. Just like physical illnesses and symptoms occur for very happy people, so can depressive symptoms and episodes. I have frequent suicidal thoughts & urges off and on. But it doesn’t mean I’m not a happy girl. I can be having a very happy day then out of nowhere be hit with depression and sink into dark despair and feel like killing myself all in one day. But even with depression, I’m lighthearted and easily amused. Depression will never take that away. Depression is not my personality or attitude. It’s a true sickness that takes me over. But underneath I’m still the happy me I naturally am. Please check out this wonderful post to get a better idea of what depression is like for us who have it like this, a lifelong condition. We’re some of the happiest, wisest people you can meet! ❤ 😀

autismthoughts

I want you to know that depression doesn’t keep me from being happy. I know that sounds like a contradiction, but when we remember that depression is simply a mental illness, or in other words, sickness that occurs in the mind, it makes sense.

I have an undiagnosed medical condition that has prevented me from being able to eat normally. Although it can be serious at times and it means my eating habits widely differ from those of most people, I am overall fairly healthy. The same is true with my mental illness. Although I may have long periods of darkness when I see little light or hope in life, I am overall happy.

In fact, I am one of the happiest people I know. Even though I think about suicide sometimes, even though I still struggle with desires for self injury, even though I sometimes cry for hours at a…

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2 thoughts on “Depression Doesn’t Mean I’m Not Happy

  1. I think it’s good news that states of mind like depression, anxiety, anger, etc. are changing and not static. Like you said, even if someone has something like clinical depression, it doesn’t mean they are always sad, or that being depressed is who they are. Since sometimes you can be depressed while other times be happy, it shows that the depression is not as ‘real’ as we think it is, although when we’re experiencing it, it definitely feels that way. If something can change (sometimes it’s there, sometimes it’s not, sometimes it’s strong, sometimes it’s weak) then it must not be the most real thing. There must be something deeper that is more constant, and therefore more real. ❤ 🙂

    • Thank you so much for this comment! Yes, it’s often so helpful to remember that the dark despair comes and goes and comes and goes. When I am experiencing it, it often feels and I sometimes even believe it will not end, that it will always be my reality. In our Buddhist classes, we often discuss and meditate upon the concept of Emptiness and how there really is no true, ultimate reality. It’s all how we view it. It’s good to keep in mind that it won’t last forever and it’s easier to cope that way usually and when good things are happening, it’s good to remember they won’t last either, then we can deeply appreciate but not get attached. Thank you for your input! I appreciate it! ❤

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