Always be my baby❤

“You’ll always be a part of me
I’m part of you indefinitely
Boy don’t you know you can’t escape me
Ooh darling ’cause you’ll always be my baby
And we’ll linger on
Time can’t erase a feeling this strong
No way you’re never gonna shake me
Ooh darling ’cause you’ll always be my baby”❤

Always Be My Baby – Mariah Carrey

Recently, I experienced one of the most heartbreaking aspects of my job. The most difficult part of the job is losing the animals I take care of, either to death or them moving away. Them dying is more painful. If they move away, they are still happy & healthy, & alive!😊 But it’s still so incredibly painful when it happens.

And recently this happened. One of my babies moved away to another state. I’m devastated. 💔 I had no idea that was going to happen. Just last week, we stood together, hugging, and I thought about how I can stay like this forever. Just holding a big dog in my arms. The best feeling in the world!💙

He is a big, big boy! He stands up on his back legs and hugs and kisses. He is a big teddy bear who loves everyone. It’s heartbreaking and devastating to not get to see him anymore. But that’s just the way it is. We live, love, & lose. My grief seems overwhelming at some points but I know it’s not a bad thing at all. It’s just what happens when we love & lose. It happens to me again & again & again throughout the years because I have had so many pets of my own and now take care of animals for my job. There’s so much grief and loss but only because there’s so, so much love!❤

I always endure the grief, survive it, & move forward. Each loss is new and different and there’s not really any getting used to it completely. But since it happens over & over, it’s not completely new and I know what’s coming and how I have endured it before and will again, for sure. It’s probably easier for me than for someone who isn’t as accustomed to it.

Last night while laying in bed, I felt that old, familiar throbbing throughout my whole existence, but for someone new. That same urgent throbbing like having a severely abscessed tooth, but much worse. The same “How can this be?” The same wringing of the hands.

And I just let it throb, just let it be, embracing it and knowing it just is what it is.

I thought about how Mac will always be my baby no matter what. Distance & time doesn’t matter. Our lives crossed and touched and nothing can change that. I love him & he loves me and being separated can’t take that away.

I remembered this song sung by Mariah Carrey, which I always loved! Last night though, I really listened to the lyrics and let them sink in. I realized how it’s a song about true, non attached love. She is singing about how she will let him go, let him fly, if that’s what he wants. But she will always love him. That is true love! Letting someone go if we must, for whatever reason, but still loving the person. I found it soothing & healing. And now have been listening to it over and over!😆

Loving doesn’t mean we have to see someone or be in contact. We can love/wish others the best, hope they are happy, healthy, & living wherever in the world they are. And if they are dead we can still be thankful our lives crossed.

I’m so thankful that Mac is a happy boy, healthy, and alive, and so loved by his family! (And me!❤) That’s all that matters! And he’ll always be my baby! (Even though he’s actually not mine…I have to remind myself every now & again that no matter how much I love them, they are not my own!😆)

Hugs & love,

Xoxo Kim ❤

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