Aesthetic Attraction πŸ₯°πŸ’‹

Me! πŸ–€

She’s A Bad Mama Jama (She’s Built, She’s Stacked) πŸ’š

“She’s poetry in motion
Beautiful sight to see
I get so excited
Viewing her anatomy” πŸ’œ

Fun fact about me: I have a very strong aesthetic attraction to women, always have. Only women, both trans and cis. In case anyone is not sure what trans & cis are: A trans woman(SHE/HER – unless she states otherwise) is a person who has a body that is considered to be the body of a male(has male sexual organs) and has the gender identity/mind of a female. When they are open about it/choose to act on/express their gender identity, they often transition to whichever degree they choose(clothing, hormones, surgery…all or any of these and maybe other things) and look just like cis women look. A cis woman(SHE/HER -unless she states otherwise) is what most women are, a person who has the body of a female(female sexual organs) and also the gender identity/mind of a female and often look the way trans women who transition look. Trans and cis women are equally women no matter what organs we have or don’t have. This goes without saying but some people need to be reminded.

And sometimes, I have the aesthetic attraction to non-binary people(these are people who have any sexual organs but do not necessarily have the gender identity of a male or a female – they may have aspects of both or be agender and not have female or male aspects or some[not all] can feel male sometimes and later female or later feel agender – it’s not a choice and is valid even if it were a choice…these are just a couple examples of non-binary; there may be more and often non-binary people identify as THEY/THEM but it’s important to ask if we do not know -if unsure, asking anyone “What are your pronouns?” is completely acceptable and appropriate even someone who looks like a traditional/typical woman or man. And it’s not offensive to trans people; it is appreciated and welcome and encouraged) with strong or slight physical feminine features.

But my attraction is to female beauty and this includes women who have masculine features but still look like women.

Not any specific size, weight, age, skin color, ethnicity, long hair, short hair, no hair…just women in all of the diversity. Some more than others. It’s not a shallow or objectification thing and not sexual or romantic. Purely aesthetic. Like looking at a beautiful sunset or landscape or a brilliant work of art but even more inspiring and joyful.

It’s not just asexual people(those who experience little to no sexual attraction – it’s a rare & valid sexual orientation) who experience aesthetic attraction; anyone of any sexual orientation can to anyone of any gender. I met a heterosexual/straight woman online, years ago, who, like me, also has a strong aesthetic attraction to women only. She is sexually and romantically attracted to men but she finds women more pleasing to look at and goes out of her way to look.

“An essence of beauty
Ooo, such lovely hair
She’s foxy, classy
Oh, sexy sassy
She’s heavenly
A treat for the eye to see” πŸ’œ

I did not always know that’s what it is but always have known I am intensely drawn to the physical/aesthetic beauty of women and that it is not sexual/romantic. Then I learned about aesthetic attraction, which often comes with sexual attraction but the two can be separated and one can be without the other. Aesthetic attraction is loving how someone or something looks. It can be to an individual person or thing or to the kind in general. In my case, it’s women in general but stronger for some than others.

Some women are so beautiful to me, it’s like a feeling of intoxication, like when I see beautiful flowers blooming all over in the Spring under a blue, blue sky, but even more so when I see a woman.

Sometimes it’s even enough to pull me right out of a low mood, even lifting layers of a depressive episode, even pulling me out of a suicidal state if I’m in one. Not always but it does happen.

I remember many years ago, on college campus, I was depressed and suicidal and walked to Starbucks and got into the line when in front of me, I noticed an incredibly beautiful woman with long hair; she turned around and her beauty took my breath away and also literally pulled me out of my suicidal state and lifted layers of my depression. I was still depressed but less and no longer suicidal.

Like I said, this does not always happen; I can see a woman just as beautiful and it doesn’t pull me out of it or I maybe could have seen the same woman a different depressed day and not have been pulled out of it. But something about the physical beauty of a woman has a profound effect on my brain and mood and the potential to lift me to extreme elevated states no matter what my mood is already.

Even looking at myself in a mirror! lol Another day, I was depressed and suicidal, one of the worst I have ever been, and happened to look up and see my reflection in a store window, my depression was not lifted but my suicidal state was and I was able to cope better with the severe depression. I wasn’t suicidal anymore. And it wasn’t just like I liked how I look and decided I want to live, it was whatever physical effect the female physique/form/beauty has on my brain. There is probably a scientific explanation or something about how pleasing visual things can affect our mood/mental state and since women are very, very aesthetically pleasing to me, seeing us, impacts my brain like that.

There have been other days I was depressed and suicidal and looked at myself in a mirror or in pictures and it lifted my depressed and/or suicidal state. But not alway; some occasions I have looked at myself and it doesn’t lift my mood. And it’s not a discriminate thing when I see myself and it lifts a depressed mood. It’s not because it’s me and I like how I look. It’s the fact that I’m looking at a woman who I see as physically beautiful. It could just as well be a stranger. It does happen when I look at strangers, both in person and in pictures.

And if I’m not depressed at all and very happy, looking at a woman still lifts me, and the impact can last for days. One day, I was already very happy (I usually am happy) and I saw a stunning young woman with very long, brown hair and a belly shirt, smiling, holding hands with a man; I hardly noticed him but her beauty lifted me in this amazing way like seeing the beautiful sun rising over the city skyline or seeing flowers blossoming everywhere in the beginning of Spring but even more powerful. This feeling lasted a week just seeing her that briefly. It doesn’t always last that long but sometimes does, long after the woman is out of view, even days later. Some other “things” can do this for me too, like flowers for example. But not to the same depth. I put “things” in quotations because women are not things; flowers are. The word “other” implies that women are things and I wasnt sure how else to put it. Buildings also. But nothing like a pretty girl.

Recently, there were people arguing, blowing things up, yelling, some military looking police I have never seen before recently, with large guns drawn in the middle of Philadelphia, felt like being in the middle of a warzone, like somethig right out of a history book or war movie, negative things in the media and just a general feeling of heaviness and hopelessness then I noticed a beautiful young woman with long, wavy orange hair walking up the street, in a white, flowery sundress, holding hands with a man, and she had the biggest, brightest smile and sparkling eyes. A light in all this darkness. Again, I did not notice him. Her beauty overshadowed everything else. All of a sudden, the heaviness and hopeless feeling in the air was gone and everything in the world was momentarily right. Her physical beauty along with the joy and happiness radiating, filled me with joy and inspiration. I can tell she is beautiful on the inside too, positive energy surrounding her.

Later, the heavy feeling returned and I had this almost unbearable migraine-like headache then I remembered her and smiled.

It reminds me to smile even more and keep my energy positive. We never know who is looking and being affected for better or worse!

Also, the aesthetic attraction is stronger when they have clothes on. lol I see pics people share of some women with no clothes on and don’t mind at all but I noticed I prefer them with clothes. I also prefer them in non-sexual situations/positions. I have nothing against the pics where they are expressing their sexuality in explicit ways but I love the ones where they aren’t, more. When I was a kid, I did used to sneak playboy magazines in my dad’s workplace that the men had in there, to see all the lovely girls in swimsuits and things, but they were clothed to some degree and standing alone. Before the internet became more advanced/popular, I used to spend hundreds of dollars on magazines just to see the pretty girls plastered all over the pages. I hardly even read them, just looked. The inspiration it would fill me with is indescribable. Not inspiration to do anything, just a general feeling of inspiration throughout my being.

Like walking through a museum of beautiful sculptures but more joyous.

I would also take hundreds of pictures of myself(still do! lol) just to look at them and feel that inspiration and intoxication and joy. Sometimes it brightens my day just to look at a picture of myself.

Now I follow thousands of fashion and makeup instagram accounts to look at all those beauties. My newsfeed is full of beautiful women.

Again, it’s not objectification. I know a woman is much more than just looks and also inner beauty is more important! But that doesn’t lessen my joy and inspiration, looking at us!

And the aesthetic attraction isn’t just to real women but can be something that looks like a woman. Like a mannequin. It gives me that same intoxicated/joyous/inspired feeling as a real woman if it’s beautiful and realistic enough. Some mannequins are just scary. lol One day, again, I was depressed(I’m not always depressed! lol I have episodes and waves here and there) and saw a mannequin that has the realistic body of a woman (I don’t think it even had a head) and was in a store window wearing pretty clothes and stilletos and it just lifted me. I was about on the verge of becoming suicidal and the mannequin stopped it right in its tracks. Thanks!

This is not the mannequin I saw but another sexy one! And this is not my photo; it’s a screencap. ❀ It’s the first “plus-sized” mannequin for this company, NIKE, I think.

Anyway, so there we have it! A fun (and creepy) fact about me!

Aesthetic attraction is not a choice but even if I could choose it, I would! I’m thankful I turned out to have this kind of attraction to women because women are such lovely creatures! And thankful to have the aesthetic attraction without the romantic and sexual attraction because that would probably be distracting and I like experiencing the pure, raw joy of the aesthetic pleasure without the distraction and dilution of the sexual/romantic. Also, aesthetic attraction has a “no strings attached” kind of way about it. I just want to look, not touch or be touched, or want anything in return or want a mutual feeling. I don’t even necesssarily want to be noticed back. I am fulfilled and content just seeing a beautiful woman walk by me on the street then never again. Just that can lift me for a week! Maybe more!

Not always but usually people who experience sexual and romantic attraction want it back in return and like want to touch and stuff. lol! No thanks; I’m good with just looking. What a blessing to have this gift. I don’t mind seeing men or people who do not have feminine physical features, of course! I am just not aesthetically attracted to them.

There are some men I find to be exceptionally good looking but still do not bring me the aesthetic pleasure anywhere near to the same extent a woman can. And it doesn’t happen very often. I have the aesthetic attraction to women in general everyday; for men, it’s seldom individual cases and to a much lesser degree.

Whenever I do find men to be aesthetically pleasing, they are usually African American or “big”/have extra weight. Not always though. For women, there is no skin color/ethnicity/size that usually stands out as most pleasing to me. It’s equal all the way around.

In that comedy movie “John Tucker Must Die,” (lol) the one boy is like girl crazy and likes a new girl at school and his brother told him that he doesn’t think she is his brother’s type and the brother responded something like “GIRL is my type.” lol

Sounds about right!

And I admit, I am not completely educated on the appropriate/respectful way to talk/write about things relating to trans people. I for sure know about using the appropriate pronouns!! But if I write/say something that comes off as disrespectful/inappropriate, it’s only because I am not yet educated. I’m working on it. I am 100% in support of ALL trans people!!

So please correct me if anything here or any post can be worded better. To not, respectfully, call us out on it does a disservice to us all. We are trying to have an all inclusive, understanding society, who celebrates and promotes diversity and is respectful of all, and it starts with educating each other and our own self.

Some people are just careless and some are actually trying to be total assholes but I am not!!

I hope you are having a beautiful day or night wherever in the world you are! And hope you are surrounded in beauty in any of its forms. ❀

xoxo Kim πŸ’š

3 thoughts on “Aesthetic Attraction πŸ₯°πŸ’‹

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