Archive | February 2023

Shadows of Her 🖤 {poem I wrote}

AI & glitch artwork created by me to go with this poem 🖤

Standing here alone
In the shadows of a distant memory
That still burns in me
Like hot steel
Branding the flesh of my existence
Her name tattooed into my cells
I can’t escape her touch
Marked for life
The grief
Expands in me like an airbag in my chest
Til there is no more space
And I struggle for breath
My ribcage threatening to break
Under the pressure
Like a starshower
Crumbing out of the sky
Hot celestial pieces
Upon anything unlucky enough
To be in the way
Burning flesh
Setting fire to surface
Bringing everything to ruin

She’s always one heartbeat away
One step out of reach
I remember her hair
Falling to her shoulders
Blowing in the wind
As her tears fell softly
Like silent raindrops in the night
Her eyeliner running down her cheeks
Like mudtracks in pure white snow
Those tears that spoke a thousand words
Whispering into the night
A somber melody
Almost inaudible
But caressing
All the deepest depths of me

I carry her in my bones
a melancholy ache
accompanying my every step
Invisible like a phantom
in the night that lurks at my side
like a distorted shadow supposed to be mine
But isn’t

I am consumed by the dark
Overshadowed by pain
Til there
Is almost no trace of what I was
Before her
Smothered in the aftermath
Of a hurricane
Washed away in the turmoil
With no anchor

I stand here in these shadows
Under the glow of the moon
My long hair blowing in the gentle
evening breeze
As my eyes search the night
For her
But she’s nowhere to be found

But I feel her in everything there is
The city lights remind me of the twinkle
in her eyes
As they lit up with everything she loved
The bookstores, the cafes, the buildings,
they speak her name as I walk by
Almost as if to taunt me with reminders of everything that will never be mine
Dreams that danced upon my pulse as it raced through me, promises of a life
that are now crumbled like flowers crushed beneath the soles of my shoes
But leaving tantalizing hints of their perfume
in every step I take

Our hearts beat in synch
I breathe her air
And her tears run down my cheeks with the gentle rain that kisses my skin
With its somber soft touch, tasting the salt as it covers my red lipsticked lips and caresses the tip of my tongue

I remember her bright hazel eyes smiling
Through thick rimmed glasses
As she spoke about the last novel she read
Full of heartache and love and redemption
I watched her hair fall over her glasses
As she absentmindedly brushed it back
I remember the way she came alive
Whenever it rained
And the city looked like a watercolor
A kaleidoscopic disarray
Of all the colors of the rainbow
The way her camera couldn’t capture
Enough pictures
And that joy lives in me somewhere
Like a bittersweet song
Playing in my bones
Running through my veins

And I am here now
In this other life
Where she doesn’t exist
Worlds apart
But somehow only
One chaotic breath away
Drowning in memories
Lifetimes away
Lost in the shadows
Of a love
That could never be


Anyone else want to share your own poetry? You’re welcome in the comments! Or share a link to your poetry blog. I especially love dark poetry or sci fi/futuristic, mysterious…but any kind is welcome!

I hope you are having a beautiful day or night wherever in the world you are!

Xoxo Kim ❤️

Covet ❤️ {a poem I wrote}

Recent pic of me 🖤

This is a poem I wrote around ten years ago. I recently edited it, kept it mostly the same. I decided to add a few creative lines and kept all the old ones. It’s inspired by my true experience. It’s called “Covet.” I have always loved poetic writings to read and write, particularly dark poetry. I’m not generally dark, just like when that aspect of life is expressed through artistic things. Most of my writings have been lost when phones crashed that I had it saved on, but fortunately some I still have, and this is one of the surviving ones. It was devastating losing everything. I fell into a month long depression when one of my phones broke years ago that I used for writing(similar thing happened recently too). I don’t write very frequently, just once in a while when inspiration hits.

I like this poem of mine. Every now & again, I open it and read it. It’s my favorite one of mine. And it makes so much sense to me, taking me back to my long ago, stirring up memories and emotions. I did not follow any writing/poetry rules or whatever. Just let the writing, imagery, symbolism, emotion… flow, inspired by my real life experience. I generally don’t explain any of my poetic writing for the most part. I just leave interpretation up to anyone who may read and leave a bit of mystery.


Also, not trying to be shady. Lol There is just one line in this poem of mine that is inspired by or more accurately stolen (but inspired sounds better 🤣) out of a popular song. Yeah, I knocked off the Cars (at least I’m honest 😆). But the rest is all mine. 😆


I see you every night
Somewhere in the dark,
Distant places in my mind
Lost in the crevices
Of my brain,
The dusty recesses
That are rarely touched
By anything else
Your beauty defying all reason
Like flowers blooming
Through concrete
In the dead of winter

The pain in your eyes
Reflects in my own glare
Like a whirlwind
Of deep colors
Clashing in a
Midnight sky
And I want to run to you

But I am not yours

There are so many things
I want to say to you
That I can never say
Secrets to abandon
In the thrill of your touch
Cast off
Into the warmth of your smile

But I am not yours

I reach out for you
But you don’t reach back
And I loathe you
Because you are not mine
But I love you just the same

Every mistake you have ever made
Every flaw you torment yourself with
The crinkles around your eyes
The laughlines on your face
Only intensify my sense of awe
When I think of you

Your beauty deepens
With each passing second
As mine fades
Into the nothingness
Of my world
And I am jealous

I want to tell you
That you are the girl
Who keeps me up at night
The one who beckons me
To the edge
Of some madness
Too vast,
Too dark
To explore
The one who lifts me
To the greatest pinnacle
Of joy and love and hope
The one who drops me
As I plummet
To the lowest depths
Of my despair

My heart pounding
As my mind races
With all the things
That would be so
But will never be

I imagine us together
Strolling around the city streets
Late at night
The cobblestone, the abandoned alleyways, the closed cafes, the buildings catching our eyes
As we run and laugh
Under the stars
And the street lights
And our fingers lace
So perfectly
Like delicate veins
Linked together
Into an indigo tapestry
Wriggling like worms
In mud
After a heavy rainshower
Giving life
Where there
Was once

Finding each other
In the midst of
Some confused, dark eternity
That spans
Across galaxies
And worlds
Time and space
We’ll never know
Where everything else falls to ruin
But we stand whole
Together, we are whole

And I see you now
In that cold place
Where I dwell
Always, where I dwell
Where small, jagged pieces
of your reality
Collide with my fantasy
And dissolve

My stiletto heels
Tapping up the dimly lit hallway
To your bedroom
As the floorboards creek
In the middle of the night
Through the gentle night air
That flows in
Through your opened window
As the curtains blow
To the rhythm of the night

Like a lost voyeur I stand
Like a ghost in the
I drift
in your doorway

I see you
In your bed
Under a gentle, dim
Fluorescent light
That catches in
Your eyes
As they scan the
For something
That will never be found

You glance my way
But your eyes don’t meet mine
They see past me, through me
As if I weren’t there
As if I were specter in the night
Blending in with the shadows
That linger in the corners of the room,
And in the darkest parts of your mind
Where very little light finds its way in

Your eyes rest on an old faded photograph
On your dresser
A remnant of a long ago
That now only lives
In a place in your mind
Reserved for memories
That ache and weep
To be brought back to life
But cannot be
Snippets of moments
That weren’t tainted
By the darkness of today
And I watch you smile
A somber, gentle smile
That doesn’t reach your eyes

And I want to reach back
Reach through the darkness
And gather all those moments
Into my arms
Those moments where only
Innocence was known
Only light
Only love
Piece them back together
Into a collage to be held
And felt all over again
Something tangible
To be tenderly cradled in your arms
Mold them into kaleidoscopic dreams
Splashing color
All over a world
That is only black
Wrap them up in a bow
And hand them to you
As my gift
But it can never be

The soft scent of longing
Reaches my nose
Tickling my skin
With the urge to
I hold back
For fear of
Being exposed
And disintegrating
Into the blackness of
Where I’ll never find
My way back to you

Satin sheets
Your bare, flawless flesh
As I take you into
My tender, loving embrace
And wonder if you can feel my
My invisible arms around your
My long hair as it softly flows
Around you
As your own wavy chestnut hair
To your shoulders
Like waterfalls
At night
Glistening mountainsides
Threatening to crumble
Beneath the heaviness
Of my yearning
My pastel pink polished
Tenderly running
Through the locks
Of your hair
As if to calm the storm
That rages within

I watch you reach up
And softly brush
your fingers
across the translucent red lipsticked kiss
I leave on your cheek
A hint of confusion
In your eyes,
A faint flicker of fleeting recognition
An almost knowing look
As your fingertips
linger, lightly, on your cheek

And I feel you shudder
Your wineglass
Falls to the floor,
The rim, streaked
With your pink lipstick
Rose wine
Onto the white
Like the atmosphere
Bleeding into the night
Sounding like
A constellation of stars
Into a million
Little pieces
As you unknowingly pull
out of my arms
To reach for the glass
And that ache in me
With each
Breath you take

I can feel you
In your soft tears
In your loneliness
That I long to heal
Those thick layers
I try to peel back
To set you free

As you journey through
Those endless black tunnels
That you think you travel alone
But I am always with you
And I want to run to you

But I am not yours

I am not yours

And never will be

But in life and in death
I will forever be marked by you


Here is my story that inspired this poem:

The Agony & The Ecstasy

Wishing love & light wherever in the world you are!

Xoxo Kim ❤️ 💋😘