Archive | March 2023

Just received the BEST news!! 💚😁😁😁

Pretty in pink 💕

For if we give our very best, I know that we will more than pass the test…

(This post was meant for Monday, and I got super busy with work and never posted)

Omg, omg, omg!!! (dramatic, right? 🤣)

I just received the BEST news ever today!!! I’m over the moon!! I can’t help but share!!! I’m celebrating every victory along the way, everything that goes right, everything that gives me any glimmer of hope. And any obstacle or hiccup along the way, I will meet with positivity and hope.

I submitted my application, did some interviews and exams, and I was just accepted into the University of Pennsylvania…………..😆
Kidney Transplant Center program here in Philadelphia to begin further testing to become a living kidney donor to a random stranger!! Ahhh!! 🫘💚 (Lol I never had the grades to be a college student at PENN University 😆 I don’t have the brains, but I do have the kidneys 🤣) It’s something I always wanted to do and am now finally getting around to it. So so many people are in need of a kidney, there is a severe shortage. Everyday SO many people are sick and dying of kidney failure where if just one healthy person steps up and gives, one less person would die/be sick. Imagine if you could literally pull a person out of hospice or stop them right before they have to go into it and give them their life back. Imagine if a person literally on their death bed was told, “nevermind, you have 20+ more years!” A healthy person can do that for someone with end stage kidney failure. There are people dying prematurely who don’t have to be. Living kidney donation can be an intimidating, expensive (we may need health insurance if we don’t already have it, take off work for testing and surgery) long process though so I see why more people don’t. We all help someone in our own ways and show compassion & kindness in a way that resonates with us that may not with others, and this so much resonates with me. If I am lucky enough to be healthy not only enough for myself but enough to share that health with another, I’m all in!

After some preliminary medical testing, they determined I’m healthy enough to begin more extensive medical and psychiatric testing at PENN kidney transplant center. A few days ago they weren’t sure if I would be allowed into the program because in 2007 I had emergency surgery to remove a stone that was obstructing my kidney. Usually when someone has kidney surgery they are not allowed to be a living kidney donor because of possible scarring on the kidney because of the surgery. This isn’t a health concern with two kidneys but could possibly be with just one. They were waiting for the kidney expert to get back to them. The kind of surgery I had, the surgical instrument doesn’t come into contact with the kidney itself. So the nephrologist said I’m in!! Yay!! I knew it deep inside that it would work out! I can feel the stars aligning in our favor. My perfect match is waiting for me! #holdonimcoming

They said if there is no match in Philadelphia, they will send my kidney on an airplane to the person! I never even been on an airplane! But in just a few short months my kidney could be! Makes me giggle lol I can choose someone specifically also who needs a kidney, pretty much whoever I want, just anyone needing a kidney (there are so many, they are not hard to find), and if we aren’t a match but I turn out to be healthy enough, I can donate my kidney to a different stranger, and the person I chose will get a kidney that is more suitable to them through my donation. It’s called a “voucher.” They’ll get the next available kidney that matches them. It usually happens within a few months after the living donor donates to someone else. So my one donation can get two people in need a kidney (one would be mine) who wouldn’t have one without it. This is the way I am going. I’m going to choose a very very sick person who cannot wait for a deceased donor (some people in need of a kidney can wait months to years before death while others cannot), give that person a “voucher” if we aren’t a match but I’m healthy, donate my kidney to a stranger somewhere else, and the currently dying person gets the next available kidney in the nick of time. I already have someone in mind if all goes well. I saw his plead for a kidney on a subway ad. He lives close to Philadelphia. I looked him up, and he doesn’t have much longer to live because his kidney function is so low. Single digits low. He was crying on the news saying it’s a race against time. If he gets a living donor kidney, doctors said he can live another 20+ years, which will be around the end of his natural lifespan if he wasn’t sick. He’s registered with the National Kidney Registry to receive a kidney, and I’m registered to give one (after all my testing). He’s 70 something years old and has a lot more living to do.

Just one obstacle potentially holding up the process is I need health insurance in case they find any serious medical problem during my testing that doesn’t show up on the basic health test I just did or on the off chance I suffer a complication during/just after surgery to remove my kidney, they require health insurance just in case, I got rid of my health insurance years ago because it was expensive and not currently needed. The potential recipient’s health insurance will pay for my surgery because it’s their treatment, but it won’t pay for anything that may go wrong with me because of the surgery because I’m not their patient, and that’s on me! Health insurance can be an expensive, confusing, complicated, lengthy process that can hold up the testing process. But I’m determined! I am currently working on it now, already had a few phone calls and all seems to be going smoothly. I will do WHATEVER it takes to get someone off that wait list/dialysis and add 20+ years to their life, giving them the health that I have. #whateverittakes

I’m in this for the long haul.

Just a little bit of money, little bit of blood and urine, and I can save someone’s whole life! Just a small portion of my body can give someone a whole entire life. It warms me all over just thinking that.

If all goes well, in six months, someone will be getting The Call. The call that says 20+ years are suddenly added to their life and out of the blue they can get off/won’t have to begin dialysis. And in our case, someone doesn’t have to die because I’m a LIVING donor!! WIN-WIN!

My kidney will give them an almost completely normal life with no more sickness or fatigue or pain or dialysis. And I will be just as healthy as I am now with only a few lifelong restrictions (no activity where I can get hit in the back {certain sports} and no Advil/aspirin, and that’s about it) It will take me two-three months to recover before I can go back to work.

I just couldn’t resist sharing my amazing news! I still have to do extensive medical and psychiatric testing. This just means I have been accepted into their program for further evaluation to see if I’m qualified, not actually accepted to donate a kidney just yet. We have a ways to go still for that. But I am qualified to be accepted for further evaluation, I have to pass lots more tests.

They already know I’m not diabetic, no thyroid issues or anything lacking or anything, nothing excessive, and don’t have organ failure of any kind. But they have to check for every kind of common cancer and any abnormalities inside n out of my body. I will be scanned head to toe inside and out! They will also have to take my blood and tissue and find out who it’s a match for.

They also have to do intense psychiatric evaluation, making sure I’m emotionally stable, that I have a valid reason for wanting to donate a kidney (not feeling pressured by anyone or trying to make up for some mistake or something or not hearing voices telling me to give my kidney away lol), that I have appropriate life circumstances, support network, finances, diet…all that good stuff!

Wish us luck!! #wegotthis

I did some light research to see why we have two kidneys but can live being just as healthy and long with one. I think it’s not really known why but believed to be that we have two in case there’s an accident or something and one gets damaged. When one stops working or is no longer present, the other does the work for both, no problem. I know firsthand as my right kidney, unknowingly at first, suddenly stopped working in 2007, and the left one picked up the slack. (There was a stone stuck in it blocking the ureter so no urine could go through to get filtered). It began working again after emergency surgery under general anesthesia.

I can’t wait til my perfect match gets THE CALL! 💚💚💚 It warms my heart and fills me with joy!

(Also, I was called “young & healthy,” and that made my day! 😁)


Sending love and light and hugs to all in need/all who desire ❤️ And wishing you a beautiful day or night wherever in the world you are

Xoxo Kim ❤️ 💋😘

Elevator phobe 🖤 {heads up:⚠️ there’s a picture of my cut finger in this post}

Content warning ⚠️: phobia

Click link to watch video if desired- it will show up

This video f’d me up lol Most horrifying thing I have seen. I literally felt like the very very beginning of a panic att*ck coming on, had to take some deep breaths lol 😆 Felt like my chest caving in

A man got stuck in n elevator at like the 39th floor in the middle of the night on a Friday and wasn’t found til Sunday.

I thought this was going to trigger a relapse in me just hearing that true story 😂

Also, I was where this girl was at one point. She runs up and down 17 flights of stairs to avoid elevators. I totally understand. I did that for years, even running up/down twenty floors. But I overcame it with exposure therapy some years ago. I’m so glad. That fear was crippling.

I got cut yesterday on a doorknob in an apartment building I visit for work. My claustrophobia was acting up (I struggled with debilitating claustrophobia for as long as I can remember, conquered it with exposure therapy a few years ago, it’s generally dormant, but every once in a while, I have a minor flare (this is different than a relapse which happened once), particularly if I’m dehydrated {I’m very physically active seven days a week and can get dehydrated easily, though I’m working on this – dehydration in me can trigger anxiety physical feelings, racing heart, anxious feelings, jitters…that aren’t about any specific thing, and that general anxiety can latch onto a certain thing or thought, and sometimes manifests as my claustrophobia even though it’s not originally that, yeah it’s weird lol If I have an anxious feeling for no reason just like if I have a depressed feeling not about anything in particular, it can search for something to latch onto and become about that then get carried away with it}).

I wasn’t going to go into a panic or anything but could tell I would be a bit anxious on an elevator. I just wasn’t up for it. Even on my best days having to get into an elevator takes a little bit of emotional energy out of me. It’s not destructive to my mental health because it doesn’t happen often enough and is only a little bit. I have no problem at all in general getting into elevators. But usually I do have to psych myself up for getting into one. If I’m tired (which isn’t often) or just not in a very good mood, it may be better for me to avoid elevators if possible (not always possible as I frequently have to get into them for work, and not all buildings have stair access going up or some are on like the 40th or 60th floor, I’m very physically fit but don’t think even I can run up 40 floors 😆) because I can’t give it my all like when I’m my best self. This just takes emotional energy I may not have that moment and makes me more susceptible to relapse. My claustrophobia will likely never be cured, just dormant. But that’s no problem at all, it’s enough for me to be able to function well. It used to be crippling.

Because my claustrophobia was flaring, I decided to take the stairs. I stepped through the door leading to the stairs, and it closed (I remember hoping it did not lock). I looked around, and there were no stairs to be seen, just a room with a bunch of closed doors. My first thought was uh oh, what if they’re all locked, but I did not actually believe it, thought it was just my claustrophobia talking. But sure enough. None of them would open. So I reached for the handle to open the door I just came through, and the handle broke off. I frantically grabbed the broken part still on the door and pulled. It stayed closed and sliced my hand in multiple places, especially the finger here. I tried putting the handle back on and pulling it open, but it came off again. So there I was locked in a room, the room I decided to go in to get to the stairs because my claustrophobia was acting up, and I wasn’t exactly in the headspace for being enclosed somewhere. Isn’t it ironic? Lol And my phone was almost drained.

I did not go into a panic even though I was locked in. I still remained calm and decided to try the doors again thinking if I can’t get out, I’ll just call someone and explain. I got one open that led to the stairs. To come back down, I had to get into the elevator anyway because the stairs would just lead right back to that room lol

These are my FB posts earlier. Just sharing here lol I had a battle with this building again this morning 😹

Sending love & hugs to all who want it!

Xoxo Kim ❤️

Prettiest cop on the block {throwback to that time I was in love with a police officer ❤️}

I’m the prettiest cop on the block
I set your souls on fire

Alice Cooper – Prettiest Cop On The Block –

This post here is a bit like this (in link below) but not anywhere near as long or deep. Both about my experiences with unrequited love. The true story in the link is grueling and took me six months to write.

Fun and random fact about me that no one else in the world knows. But now you do!

When I was 17/18 years old (around twenty years ago) I was in love with a police officer.

She made me so happy. She had the most beautiful face, hair, smile, personality, everything. I was mesmerized. It was joy and giddiness and ecstasy, just seeing her across a street, after a while it turned to a deeper feeling but still ecstatic and uplifting and joyful. It never quite turned to “the one” or “love of my life” status that I can remember like I have felt for some women, but was possibly getting to that point. It was definitely love. She was always on my mind even when we weren’t around each other. Usually though, when I’m in love with a woman, it happens much faster than a year that I think of her as my one or love of my life. And I don’t mean “falling” in love. I can actually have a feeling of *being* “in love” with a woman and want her as my person for life. For me, it happens quickly, usually. In this case with the police officer, I was totally smitten, but it wasn’t to that point yet even a year later, if I remember correctly. I don’t think she would have ever been one of “my ones.” Lol But I was totally in love, just not as in love as I can be. If I were a normal gay woman and our circumstances were more compatible and she liked me back, it probably would have been a short term relationship of substance, more than a fling but not lifelong.

She was 40 something years old. We did not know each other well. Just saw each other around. Once in a while my friends and me would talk to her. She was sweet, and just seeing her brightened my day no matter what mood I was in. She told me happy birthday one day! I knew her since I was 14 years old and always liked her a lot, but at 17 years old I suddenly fell for her hard. I began to take special interest in her in a way I haven’t in the years before. I thought she was a hottie in her uniform (like really really aesthetically pleasing lol I could stare all day). I loved the way she moved in it. I loved the way her pants hugged her hips and the way her hips swayed as she walked. And I loved the g u n at her side. She was very curvy. And she was very confident, it could be seen in the way she carried herself. I loved her great butt, it was the kind Sir Mix-A-Lot sings of. 😍 I loved the way her thick black curly hair fell to her shoulders and the way she would laugh and joke with the other police officers on the corner. She was a Latina beauty. She had a very happy temperament, always cheerful and engaged with people. She was sweet and a bad@ss babe all in one. Her husband was/is (don’t know if they are still together but hopefully!!) a very lucky man. He got the whole package for real. Beauty inside and out, brains, confidence, compassion…One day she hurt her back at work, and she was definitely low in spirits for a few days. I would see her have to stop, lean over, and rub her own back. I remember aching for her and wanting to make it all better. I wanted to hug her and make her pain go away.

Her age never fazed me or the fact that she was heterosexual and happily married to a man with kids around my age. I wanted her lol She would talk about her “sweetheart” and her “honey” and “baby” who was her husband of many years. I wasn’t jealous. I wouldn’t have cared if she loved us both, even if he was her main one. I’m good at sharing. 😆 I prefer monogamy and being the favorite/main/primary but can handle “my person” not being monogamous and being a close second. Lol (This is not the same as a monogamous person settling for me because they can’t have who they really want, that I wouldn’t accept, but I don’t mind a special/queerplatonic friend putting their romantic relationship first or a polyam person having a primary partner who isn’t me and me as a close relationship that comes after, nuances matter, but overall, I don’t mind not being the absolute center of someone’s world, I would like it though lol) One day on Valentine’s Day I heard her telling other police officers she worked with “My honey gave me flowers this morning when I woke up!” And one day she was happily showing everyone her new necklace “from my sweetheart!” And “My baby made me breakfast for Mother’s Day then took me out!” It was cute. Lol I was so happy to hear something about her personal life. It uplifted me.

A year later at eighteen years old I was still in love. I “stalked” her for a year. I would see her going a certain way and walk that way too hoping to run into her. I would get all giddy upon seeing her and try to get her to notice me and think I’m pretty. I did not fully realize what I was doing. I just knew she was so pretty and sweet and funny and wanted her to feel the same about me. I thought I could impress her. I was way too shy to talk to her. Lol When she would casually talk to me, I would freeze up, smile, and look at the ground 😆

We saw each other one day in an unusual place, and she looked so happy and pointed at me saying “I know you!!” It made me so happy! Another day she was monitoring a school event and had to check our ID’s. When I got up to the police at the door, she said “She doesn’t have to show her ID, I know who she is.” I was honored. ❤️ Still makes me happy now that I was trusted.

One day I was thrilled beyond belief, over the moon, because some criminal did something, and her and another police officer (another pretty lady around the same age, a gorgeous blonde) came over to ask me if I saw anything. I did not (I did see her running after someone in the morning and was intrigued, I liked seeing her work in action). Lol But was happy to be the center of her focus for a few minutes. It made my day, I was giddy and bursting with joy for the rest of the day. I ran home and told my mom the police came to talk to me, I could hardly contain my joy. I wrote it on my online journal I had back then too. Lol I never mentioned the part that I was in love with one of them. The journal was kind of anonymous, the website required anonymity to a point, no contact info or anything, can’t remember the name of it, but I was still afraid to put too much detail about my love affair lol All my followers knew my first name and that I was a teenaged girl. I pretended to like boys on there, just to put it “out there” that I’m in fact normal. I was so happy to see the new police officer too. Every once in a while I found myself catching some kind of feels for her too when the feeling for the other would begin to mellow out a bit, when I like/love a woman and she doesn’t know or care that I exist and shows me no attention, my feels for her can come and go or fade and rekindle, and I can move onto another for a while. I only have the capacity to actively be into one at once though, even if I can tell I like them both. (I think real crushes can work like that too?) Sometimes focusing on that woman took the pain away about the other woman not really knowing I exist and me not knowing how or having the courage to approach her. One day with my friend, I decided to go ask them for directions just to have an excuse to talk to them. Lol Some of my girl friends liked the police officers too, but they liked the man ones. I pretended to like the men too so they would think I was normal. They themselves were not homophobes, but society in general was. I was happy the girls wanted to hang around the police because then I got to see her. I remember one of the girls was going to walk over to one of the men police officers she liked and say “Please cuff me officer,” but she chickened out. We were all laughing hysterically.

We had metal detectors at my high school. The school police were always there. But one day the women school police weren’t there, and she was there to search any of us who walked through when the metal detector would beep on us. Only women police officers were allowed to check the girls. If a woman wasn’t there and it beeped on a girl, they had to let us go anyway without checking. That day they got her to search us.

For some reason it beeped on me. She had to search me. I was crushed. She waved the thing up and down me and patted me down. That has happened before with the school police, and I had no problem. But I felt like she did not trust me when she knew me (sort of), and I had these deep emotions for her. My adult mind understands now that those feelings couldn’t have ever been reciprocated, no way a 40 something year old is going to go for a teenager, to her I was just a typical high school girl, and she was simply doing her job. But back then, I was deeply wounded and couldn’t shake the feeling that someone I loved and had a thing for did not trust me. She was very compassionate and gentle, I still remember the tone of her voice when she said “I have to search you.” It was a deeply apologetic tone. There’s no way she could have known I loved her, but she probably knew a teenaged girl doesn’t want to have to get searched going into school. She did affectionately tell me before she can tell I’m a good girl. I was flattered.

I never saw her out of uniform in the four years I have known her. Then one day I saw her in a dressy shirt with flowers and was floored! It was the most amazing experience. It made me so thrilled and giddy. Lol Not just that she was beautiful but just seeing a personal aspect of her. I only ever mostly saw her professional side. She was very lighthearted and playful and kind. But other than that I did not know much about her, just enough to be in love.

I knew some of her political/moral views and some of her interests. She supported marriage equality and the death penalty. She was very family oriented, loved kids. She loved holidays, especially Halloween. She was against people suing people for d*mb things like ordering hot coffee and spilling it on themselves. One day it was in the news that a woman was suing a place for getting burned on coffee she ordered there. The police were talking about it the next morning, and she was yelling “You know coffee is hot!!”

I was going off to college soon (not leaving our city, just the location where I always saw the police officer) and was so deeply sad that I wouldn’t see her anymore. I stayed up all night long for hours the nights leading up to our last day seeing each other, trying to come up with a way to keep in touch with her. But we weren’t friends or even acquaintances. Girl hardly even knew I existed. I couldn’t exactly go up and say let’s keep in touch. Lol It wasn’t a context where that would be normal, and on top of that I’m super shy, especially back then. So even if she was an acquaintance, back then as a teenager, I probably wouldn’t have had the nerve. Probably wouldn’t even now lol

I knew the last day I would ever see her. I decided I would write my name and phone number on a piece of paper and walk up and hand it to her and let her know I always liked seeing her and was going to college and wouldn’t be around that way anymore. I fantasized over and over and over, how it would pan out. This fantasy also helped me cope with the pain and grief knowing our encounters were coming to an end. It gave me hope. But when the day came, I lost the nerve. I stopped halfway as I was walking to her, my heart pounding. I had the paper crumpled up in my sweaty palm and was frozen in place. I just stood there staring. She glanced at me for a second, and I lifted my arm to wave then dropped it again, too shy to go through with that too. I felt this empty dejected sinking feeling.

As an asexual/aromantic girl (with lesbian leanings) who had no idea what asexuality is, I did not know this was my version of a “crush.” I did not realize her being heterosexual and married would not be compatible with the kind of relationship I wanted with her (sure her husband wouldn’t have liked it much lol And a heterosexual woman likely can’t have the emotional/sensual inclination I can for other women, I wasn’t thinking of all this). I wanted a non sexual but sensual/emotional relationship with her, to hold hands, long hugs, be each other’s everything. I frequently fantasized about her, never sexually, all the things we would do together, sometimes the fantasies were sensual, imagining touching in non sexual ways. I imagined us strolling around, walking arm in arm, laughing, reading together, always being together and each other’s person. I was afraid the sensual fantasies/feelings made me gay and that I could be the target of homophobia if people knew, which terrified me, especially the thought of being ridiculed. Back then I wouldn’t have been able to handle people laughing at me and making jokes about me, and homophobia was still very rampant all over back then, still around now, but way worse back then. People were openly homophobic with no consequences, even teachers I had. Gay jokes were mundane things with no one calling them out, people laughing at same gender kissing scenes on tv. I also felt my sensual daydreams did not make sense since I was identifying as “heterosexual.” I never liked men but since I don’t quite like women in the traditional way either and society told me I’m hetero, that’s the label I took on. So I tried to suppress the desire. Sometimes I imagined her crying and me consoling her with hugs and back rubs (had these fantasies about other women too). Years later I realized it was my excuse to imagine touching her without being gay about it. I can console women just to console also. But this was going out of my way daydreaming because I wanted the fantasy of touching a woman but still being hetero about it. 😆

I liked her in a way that was different than how I liked my regular platonic friends but not in the traditional romantic/sexual way (I somewhat recently learned this is called alterous attraction/love, not strictly platonic but not quite romantic or having aspects of both, I’m homoalterous). I had no idea what it was. I thought of it as wanting her as my “special friend.” I never had inclination for thinking of her as my girlfriend or wanting her as one. That word doesn’t resonate with me for me. I don’t ever see myself as having a girlfriend or being someone’s girlfriend but can totally imagine having “my person” for life. I hope for that someday. I don’t mind if she wants to call me her girlfriend and thinks of me that way, just not a word that resonates with me.

This is just one of many examples since I was a little girl of “crushing on”/being in love with other girls. It’s a recurring thing throughout life for me since elementary school age til now, that I fall for other women like this. Not regular platonic but not traditional romantic/sexual. As I did not understand my identity/sexual orientation (oriented asexuality) til a few years ago, this was always a curious thing, always feeling gay but then nahh. Lol

Unfortunately I could never act on it because I don’t know how. It’s hard enough for even regular gay women to meet other women to be compatible with like that but when asexuality is thrown in, it adds to the challenge. Everyone and their mom and grandmom and great grandmom wants the s*x at all ages. And being aromantic (with strong homoromantic leanings) I never had inclination for traditional dating, like asking a woman out. I just see women I’m madd about and want in this life of mine. So it’s definitely a complex situation.

I don’t remember what inspired me to remember this experience with the police officer. But here it is. 😁

It may give people an idea of what it’s like to be a lesbian (or whatever hetero/bi…) asexual woman. We don’t experience sexual (and in some cases not even romantic or fullblown romantic) attraction but doesn’t mean we can’t experience need/desire for emotional/physical closeness or life partnerships or companionship “beyond” ordinary platonic but not sexual/romantic either.

Asexual love, it’s like when you have a crush in elementary school before your sexual aspect develops, but for asexual people, that sexual aspect never does even as adults. This doesn’t mean no romance or no deep emotional feels or emotional investment/commitment.

I hope you are having a beautiful day or night wherever in the world you are! Wishing you lots of love!

Xoxo Kim 💗

Back at it! 💚😁 {Second attempt to give my kidney to a random stranger}

You’ll never see exactly where the road will lead you
And when it comes to love
You gamble when you need to

The process has begun!!!

And I couldn’t be happier or more full of joy!


So happy things are falling into place, and I’m finally trying again!! I’m thrilled!! Just to have this opportunity to at least try.

Shortly before the initial virus outbreak, I began the process of anonymous kidney donation to whoever is next on the waiting list here in Philadelphia or surrounding areas. I never received a follow up phone call or anything then the virus broke out, and everything changed. My financial/work circumstances in the last few years were no longer ideal for having kidney donation surgery if I’m found to be healthy enough. Now three years later, I’m trying again!! Back then I contacted a kidney transplant center directly. Now I’m going through the National Kidney Registry hoping to have better communication than with the last place. And I already do! I now have a mentor who is a living kidney donor herself who will be helping me throughout the process up to the surgery! She has already been SO helpful! I was in the middle of trying to figure out what lab tests I need done soon and was confused and out of nowhere, she texted me introducing herself as my living kidney donor mentor. I never even knew I have one! 😆 And I asked what tests I need done now, and she responded instantly! I just had an interview with her, and it went so well! My basic application for health history was accepted so I can move onto the next step!

I want to share my gift of health with someone in need. I’m going to be getting the initial medical test soon to be sure I’m basically healthy enough (heart, kidneys, thyroid, glucose, no infections…), then a more thorough battery of medical and psychiatric exams if my basic lab results come back perfect.


If my lab tests are all clear, I’ll be choosing a hospital here in Philadelphia to have extensive medical testing on my whole body in and out and psychiatric testing to make sure I’m emotionally stable enough to handle the gruelling process of extensive medical testing, the possibility of finding out I could have serious health issues myself, and the potential of serious complications during and just after surgery, including death, and where I’ll be having kidney donation surgery if all goes well!! yay!!! They also want to make sure people wanting to donate a kidney are for the right reason (simply to help someone) and not feeling forced or anything associated with mental illness (because only a cray cray person can want our body cut open and a piece of it removed to help a total stranger, right?? 🤣).

The whole process beginning now will probably take around six months. So hopefully all goes well, and one of my kidneys will have a new home in six months giving someone else the gift of health and life that I am so lucky to have. It will not only prolong their life expectancy (possibly moving it to average or near average) but will significantly enhance the quality of their life, making it normal/near normal, enough energy, ability to work and travel, get off dialysis or prevent it, which is hell for people on it but if not, they die soon, they’ll get to do just about everything a healthy person can do with something as small and simple as my kidney!! Since I’m alive, my kidney would be expected to last in their body up to twenty years. If the person is already an older person, the kidney can carry them to their full lifespan. This is what I’m especially hoping for but really don’t mind how old the person is, it’s just good to think my kidney can last the rest of someone’s life instead of eventually having to be thrown in a biohazard can somewhere and being replaced by a new one. But that’s ok, it will help someone for however long it does! Even a few years is good! And even if it doesn’t work at all for some reason, at least I tried! That’s all that matters!

Kidney disease is so common, there are countless people out there on the wait list waiting for someone to die or care and donate while alive. Helping one of them is a true gift and feels like my “calling.”

Three (actually more like five I have been actively planning it and many more that I eventually knew I would try it) years later and still on my mind. So yeah, I think it’s something I must go through with! ❤️

The gift of health is better when shared with another! ♥️

I’m already very physically active and fit and full of energy myself, I have a mostly healthy diet especially recently when I cut out almost all sugar and sweets (even my beloved iced caramel lattes with extra liquid sugar and extra caramel syrup, that’s not easy! 😆), have fruits and veggies everyday, no alcohol, smoking or other drugs, not on medication for anything physical or psychiatric, no serious life problems, live at home with family who will help me after the surgery…I do have a couple things that aren’t the best like no health insurance myself. The health insurance of my potential recipient will pay for all my medical/psychiatric exams and my surgery because that’s all considered their treatment. But their insurance won’t pay for anything I need myself like if any complications arise during/after my own surgery. I also had emergency kidney surgery many years ago, but the kidney and me made a full recovery. This probably doesn’t look the best to the kidney donation team. But we’ll see!

This has been my dream for many years since I was young and read a true heartwarming story about a man who donated his kidney to a random stranger shortly after altruistic (or non directed) kidney donation became legal. It felt like home to me, my first feeling was “Oh, of course,” and I just knew it would be me one day giving my kidney to a stranger.



I hope you’re having a beautiful day or night wherever in the world you are! Wishing you all the love & health!

Xoxo Kim 🤩