Archives

Joy❀

“I saw Sorrow
holding a cup of pain.
I said, hey sorrow,
sorry to see you this way.
What’s troubling you?
What’s with the cup?
Sorrow said,
what else can I do?
All this Joy that you have brought to the world has killed my business completely.”

Some ways to bring joy to the world:

1.) Acts of kindness

2.) Smile

3.) Give thanks for all the good no matter how small/trivial it seems

4.) Breathe deeply

5.) Let things go

6.) Listen to happy songs

7.) Be surrounded in cheerful or calming colors whenever possible

8.) Share uplifting quotes to inspire others

9.) Read inspiring books/blogs/writings

10.) Engage in activities that inspire happiness or calming effects

11.) Hug dogs/cats

12.) Forgive self & others ❀

13.) Be a safe space for others, active listening, without negative judgment, ridicule, selfish expectations, unsolicited suggestions

14.) Watch the sun setting and/or rising

15.) Do something random & fun!πŸ˜†

16.) Buy a gift for self!πŸ’™

17.) Be mindful of right now and go with the flow without judging even if our current experience seems unpleasant

18.) Watch a fun comedy movie/tv show

19.) Go above & beyond to help someone, friend, family, stranger, coworker, neighbor, boss, enemy…

20.) Get fixed up, bring out expensive kitchen utensils and things reserved for special occasions….just because, even when alone. Every moment we’re alive is a special occasion!

I hope you’re having a beautiful day or night wherever in the world you are!β€πŸ’–πŸ’—πŸ’™πŸ’šπŸ’›πŸ’œπŸ’πŸ’žβ£

Much love & light,

Xoxo Kim

Advertisements

Jealous bitches be like…β˜ΉπŸ˜ΎπŸ‘Ž

Lol! Jk Please don’t mind the offensive title. This is a post on jealousy I had planned since like October, originally titled On Jealousy til one morning when I was about to get a shower and this new title popped into my head & I burst out laughing. Hopefully no one reads the title and thinks it’s a dramatic rant about jealous people doing me wrong and just disregards it because Geshe-la has some serious wisdom to open us up to or remind us and I wouldn’t want my jestful title to turn people away! lol πŸ˜‰ You won’t find any rants in this here post! πŸ˜€

Here are some wise words on jealousy, by Geshe-la.

“Anger is often related to jealousy and so we need to try to overcome both these delusions. When a rival is successful or praised, it is very easy to feel jealous, but why should someone else’s happiness make us unhappy? If we step out of our egocentric view for a moment and put ourself in the other person’s place, instead of feeling the pain of jealousy we can rejoice and share in his or her happiness.

When a jealous person sees signs of other people’s success and good fortune, his heart is pierced with envy. But someone who has learned to rejoice in the good fortune of others experiences only happiness. Seeing another person’s beautiful house or attractive partner immediately makes him happy-the fact that they are not his own is irrelevant. When he sees a colleague praised or promoted, or when he meets someone who is more intelligent, good-looking, or successful than he is, instead of immediately being reminded of his own inadequacies he simply shares in the other person’s happiness.

Rejoicing in other people’s happiness or good qualities is one of the purest of all virtuous minds, because it is unstained by self-cherishing. When we practice giving, for example, it is possible that we might hope for something in return-for gratitude, to be liked, or to be thought of as a generous person-but when we rejoice in another’s good fortune we expect nothing in return.”

&

“Jealousy is one of the most senseless and purposeless of all delusions. Nothing can be gained from being jealous of another’s good fortune, good job, reputation, or success. Suppose someone gives a rival some money. The jealousy and unhappiness we feel about this will do nothing to change the situation. Whether our rival is given money or not, there is no way we are going to receive that money ourself. So why should we be jealous? Furthermore, developing jealousy on the one hand, while wishing to obtain wealth and possessions on the other, are contradictory states of mind. Why? The root cause of receiving wealth, possessions, and any other pleasurable things is our own accumulation of virtue, which is created by giving, rejoicing, appreciating and respecting others, and so forth. However, when due to our self-centered view of the world strong jealousy arises in our mind, the potentialities of these virtuous actions are damaged and so our chances of experiencing good fortune in the future are diminished or destroyed. Therefore, if we really wish to obtain good fortune, wealth, and so forth in the future, we should guard our mind well, and instead of allowing jealousy to arise in response to others’ happiness, we should rejoice.

There is also no reason to be happy when our enemy meets with suffering, because how do such negative thoughts either hurt our enemy or benefit us? Even if we thought ‘It would be great if my rival were to suffer,’ this would never harm him or her. And even if he were harmed, how would that ever bring us happiness?

‘But if my enemy suffers, I will be satisfied’ Thoughts like this never bring us any happiness. On the contrary, nothing harms us more than indulging in such petty and vengeful thoughts, which do nothing but drag us down into the lower realms.”

I think comparing ourselves to others and making our own self out to be lower or somehow less, is a form of jealousy or something of that sort even if it doesn’t manifest as feeling like jealousy. Have you ever compared yourself to another? And then felt low about your own self? I think most of us probably have and so can relate to this. The person or people we compare ourselves to may be an enemy, a stranger, a supermodel on a magazine cover, imaginary people(like just the way we think people in general are), even close family members or friends. We may or may not feel resentment for those people and may or may not feel consciously jealous. But we are unhappy for our own self when we make comparisons and feel that someone else is somehow better or has something better.

This message conveyed by Geshe-la can apply to anyone who has thoughts that someone else is better, looks better, is more successful, more intelligent, happier, does more fun things, goes on more vacations or better vacations, or more productive things….and feels unhappy about it.

One way to counter this is to try to identify with those people we feel jealous of or lower than. Instead of envying them, resenting them, or feeling low about our own self, remember how it feels to be happy or successful, tap into that empathy, & be happy for those people. Almost all of us have probably been happy at one point or another even if briefly, all of us have accomplished something, even something seemingly small or not important, we know what it’s like to have good and bad things happen to us so let’s connect with those we envy, reach out in our basic humanness and be happy for them when they are in a good place in this life.

Practicing this more and more will help heal a jealous mind. Even if we aren’t generally prone to jealousy, most of us have probably experienced it at least once or at least experienced comparing ourselves to someone else and coming up short. And actually, I think many if not most, have this unpleasant experience more than once, probably off and on.

“S/he’s prettier than me, thinner than I am, more toned/muscular, more experience with something, has a better job, a more advanced education, an amazing relationship I don’t have, a bigger, more beautiful and expensive house or car, more friends, a family….”

I love how G.K Gyatso, states:

“…the fact that they are not his own is irrelevant.”

Imagine feeling so connected to others, even complete strangers, that we are just as happy for them as we would be for our own self if we had the good fortune they have. The fact that it is not our own is completely irrelevant; we are just as happy as if it were. How beautiful!

Another way to counter jealousy or heal a jealous mind, whether it’s a frequent jealous mind or just once in a while or even just once, is to focus on the goodness we, ourself, have right now. Any little thing that is good in our world, health, a place to live, a delicious cup of coffee, our senses, ability to walk, to move, friends, family, life itself…dwell on that without repressing any unpleasant emotions. Nothing wrong with admitting, even if just to our own self, that we wish something was different but we can still focus on what is good in this moment.

And one more thing, remember jealousy is absolutely pointless. Where does it get any of us? All it does is put unpleasant energy out into the uni-verse, interfere with our happiness, & possibly friendships & other relationships. Jealousy is a lousy attitude to be stuck in and even has the word “lousy” in it. For good reason! And a positive, loving mindset is more constructive and likely to contribute to our own good fortune than a jealous and/or vengeful mindset anyway. So anyone who doesn’t care about others will still benefit by being kind and rejoicing in the goodness of others.

This isn’t to negatively judge those who are jealous or those who wish bad things on others out of jealousy or do things just to look good and not out of true kindness; it’s merely to suggest that it’s better for our own self & those we encounter if we avoid jealousy and act with pure, genuine intentions, rejoicing in the good fortune of others.

And….in case you’re in the mood for a chuckle….

Not sure what this has to do with jealousy but here it is! (Unless you’re jealous of this face! I sure am! πŸ™ƒ)

πŸ’–

Much love & light to you, always

Xoxo Kim

Always be my baby❀

“You’ll always be a part of me
I’m part of you indefinitely
Boy don’t you know you can’t escape me
Ooh darling ’cause you’ll always be my baby
And we’ll linger on
Time can’t erase a feeling this strong
No way you’re never gonna shake me
Ooh darling ’cause you’ll always be my baby”❀

Always Be My Baby – Mariah Carrey

Recently, I experienced one of the most heartbreaking aspects of my job. The most difficult part of the job is losing the animals I take care of, either to death or them moving away. Them dying is more painful. If they move away, they are still happy & healthy, & alive!😊 But it’s still so incredibly painful when it happens.

And recently this happened. One of my babies moved away to another state. I’m devastated. πŸ’” I had no idea that was going to happen. Just last week, we stood together, hugging, and I thought about how I can stay like this forever. Just holding a big dog in my arms. The best feeling in the world!πŸ’™

He is a big, big boy! He stands up on his back legs and hugs and kisses. He is a big teddy bear who loves everyone. It’s heartbreaking and devastating to not get to see him anymore. But that’s just the way it is. We live, love, & lose. My grief seems overwhelming at some points but I know it’s not a bad thing at all. It’s just what happens when we love & lose. It happens to me again & again & again throughout the years because I have had so many pets of my own and now take care of animals for my job. There’s so much grief and loss but only because there’s so, so much love!❀

I always endure the grief, survive it, & move forward. Each loss is new and different and there’s not really any getting used to it completely. But since it happens over & over, it’s not completely new and I know what’s coming and how I have endured it before and will again, for sure. It’s probably easier for me than for someone who isn’t as accustomed to it.

Last night while laying in bed, I felt that old, familiar throbbing throughout my whole existence, but for someone new. That same urgent throbbing like having a severely abscessed tooth, but much worse. The same “How can this be?” The same wringing of the hands.

And I just let it throb, just let it be, embracing it and knowing it just is what it is.

I thought about how Mac will always be my baby no matter what. Distance & time doesn’t matter. Our lives crossed and touched and nothing can change that. I love him & he loves me and being separated can’t take that away.

I remembered this song sung by Mariah Carrey, which I always loved! Last night though, I really listened to the lyrics and let them sink in. I realized how it’s a song about true, non attached love. She is singing about how she will let him go, let him fly, if that’s what he wants. But she will always love him. That is true love! Letting someone go if we must, for whatever reason, but still loving the person. I found it soothing & healing. And now have been listening to it over and over!πŸ˜†

Loving doesn’t mean we have to see someone or be in contact. We can love/wish others the best, hope they are happy, healthy, & living wherever in the world they are. And if they are dead we can still be thankful our lives crossed.

I’m so thankful that Mac is a happy boy, healthy, and alive, and so loved by his family! (And me!❀) That’s all that matters! And he’ll always be my baby! (Even though he’s actually not mine…I have to remind myself every now & again that no matter how much I love them, they are not my own!πŸ˜†)

Hugs & love,

Xoxo Kim ❀

Gratitude List

This is a gratitude list for a specific topic, outside/public things that are extremely helpful to me. Much of my job takes place outside so in the last year I have become especially aware of & thankful for these things. A year ago in December, I was offered a job as a petsitter, which I love and my boss said I do a great job! So thankful! Most of it is dogwalking, which takes place outdoors, of course. So here are a few things I find incredibly helpful:

Parks – especially ones that dogs are allowed in & especially when the parks have public doggy bag dispensers. They are beautiful places to walk through and are grassy so dogs like to go potty while there (I always clean up the, πŸ’© of course! I have all these cute little doggy bags & dispensers!) If ever I have breaks, I love to sit in parks and read and take in the beautiful surroundings.

Benches – It’s so good to have a place outside to sit during breaks or when I’m injured, just to get a rest. I sometimes suffer walking related injuries when I don’t wear appropriate walking shoes and a bench to take a rest is so very helpful!!

Trashcans – Probably the number one most helpful thing on my list. I’m frequently in need of trashcans! Mostly to throw used doggy bags away. Sometimes I have doggy bags full of cat litter when I’m petsitting a cat or hay/litter if I visit a bunny or guinea pig. We don’t throw trash/animal waste away in clients’ houses so must find a place to throw it outside. I don’t throw stuff in people’s trashcans outside so I’m very, very thankful for public ones such as the one in the pic above. Also, I’m frequently eating snacks and drinking iced tea or hot tea/coffee/cocoa/lattes…while out walking to my next visits and have to carry the trash with me when I can’t find a can. We need more trashcans!! There really needs to be a public trashcan on every street corner!!

Buttons on busses – I walk mostly but take public transportation often and sometimes the busses are so crowded there’s no available seats and it’s hard to pull the string, to let the driver know to stop the bus at the next stop, without hitting someone accidentally and it’s awkward reaching over strangers to pull the string and I’m shy so dont like to ask anyone to pull it for me. The buttons on the bars have the same function, to ring, and let the driver know to stop. I dont have to reach over or bang into anyone, pressing the buttons, so what a great invention!!

Traffic lights – It is unbelievably hard to cross streets with lots of traffic and no lights. The drivers in cars rarely stop to let those of us walking, cross. Once in a while, a kind person will care to stop and let us go but mostly they are extremely impatient and couldn’t care less how long we have to wait, even in heavy rain and freezing cold weather or with a dog or baby or anything, and probably wouldn’t even mind running someone over if they were able to get away with it. So traffic lights help so much! There needs to be more! I only cross with dogs where there’s lights or very little traffic. I have to keep my babies safe!❀

Street art – It’s so fun & inspiring to see all the beautiful messages/images while out & about!

Doggy bag dispensers – can never have enough doggy bags! So, so helpful to have them in parks.

Napkins/plastic spoons/forks – free ones in cafes/grocery stores….Like I said, Im often eating. Lol I dont carry eating utensils around with me so it’s helpful to have them when I buy stuff that requires a fork or spoon.

Free apps/notifications for transportation – occasionally I get popup messages on my phone letting me know how many minutes the next bus will be at the busstop I’m near. Very helpful!

Earth angels – So many beautiful souls out & about who stop to offer help to those in need or just to say hello!❀

These are all things that make my little corner of the world so much better!! I would love to invite everyone to think about the overlooked things each day that really are so very helpful. Acknowledging them and giving thanks, even if just in our head, makes this life even more beautiful! ❀

Thank you to everyone who has put thought, energy, & time into these things to help others! What beautiful acts of kindness!!πŸ’™

Can you think of anything frequently overlooked or seemingly simple but extremely helpful? There must be lots more!

And thank you to everyone who has been liking my posts & commenting! I greatly appreciate it! I havent been on wordpress for a while then recently just been posting my own and not reading any other blogs but will soon! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!❀

Much love to you!

Xoxo Kim

Claudia.

(NOT my photo but so lovely)

Sometimes people are beautiful. Not in looks. Not in what they say. Just in what they are.”

Today I met a strong, beautiful woman named Claudia. Shortly after meeting her I had a rare thought. I thought:

I like her. I want to be like her.

It’s not rare for me to like someone but for me to actually, necessarily want to be like someone is rare. When I had the thought, it wasn’t unpleasant or negative or jealous or in a competitive way. It was more like me being so inspired by another woman’s beauty (not physical beauty, though Claudia is beautiful inside & out) which resonates so much with my own, that I want to reach deep within and unleash my own beauty in a more profound way. I want to strengthen it.

Something about her reminded me of me. She has a quiet, calm, simple, matter-of-fact, way about her. Not just displayed by how she talks or acts but just how she is.

While talking to her, she complimented another woman to me. There is nothing more beautiful than girls complimenting other girls.

And when she complimented me, it was sincere and not condescending like she thought I needed validation. Her only intention was to encourage & uplift.

Around her, I sensed a safe place. A place of no judgment, only love, acceptance, warmth.

She has a job helping, serving others, a job that takes deep compassion & great strength, both of what she displays so genuinely.

When I met her, I thought of the quote I shared above & was reminded of the beautiful song sung by Billy Joel, She’s got a way.

She’s got a light around her.

She’s got a way – Billy Joel

Claudia certainly has a way about her.

Humble but confident. Soft but strong. Tender, yet firm. Fiercely compassionate and very kind.

How beautiful it is to inspire someone simply by being. BEing our honest self. Not trying to be someone or something else. No matter who/what we are, someone, somewhere desires/longs for just that. Loud, quiet, warm, firm, syrupy sweet, badass, bitchy, reserved or very demonstrative….some of these things will resonate with some while others will resonate with someone else.

Keep on keeping on! You never know who your own beauty is inspiring!❀

I want to be an even better me after meeting Claudia.

Much love & light,

Xoxo Kim

With love, xoxo❀

If you clean the floor with love, you have given the world an invisible painting.” πŸ’–

My job is to love, both as an action/verb & also just in the form of emotion. It’s my job in this life in general and also my paid job, loving animals and the people whose pets they are. There are things I have to do for practical purposes, filling the water bowl, food bowl, snapping their harnesses on, putting on coats & booties, putting down potty mats, cleaning up accidents in houses/apartments, cleaning litter boxes, picking up πŸ’© with doggy bags, giving medication/supplements….these are the practical things but I realize they are not only that. Just like playing, cuddles, kisses, pets & hugs, all these practical acts, the things that seem more like work and may at first appear to be just “means to an end,” just something that has to be done and over with so we can get to the more fun, pleasant things like playing and going for walks, they too are acts of love. They may not be as obviously loving acts as the hugs and kisses and playing but are part of loving an animal. To get to do these things is a gift.

My baby πŸ’œ

This little baby in the picture with me is a sweet girl who I generally take care of five days a week, sometimes more, while her mommies are at work. Sometimes I even get to have sleepovers with her! 😍 I have known her for almost a year and love her like my own! One day a while ago, my schedule was a little bit different and she was assigned to a different petsitter that day. As I was leaving, I realized how much I would really miss the seemingly little things, like filling her water bowl and setting it on the floor for her. Of course I would miss playing with her, the cuddles, & kisses, & walking with her. But not so obvious are the small practical things like simply filling her water bowl for her. It’s something we may take for granted if we aren’t careful.

My experience with not having her on my schedule that day, reminded me more, to always cherish the little things, the mundane, the practical. I always honor the love in these acts.

One of the best things about my job is that I get to experience loving animals the way their own humans love them. Like I mentioned, love, is a feeling but also a verb/action. We all love our pets in different ways. Some people love their dogs by spoiling them and giving them food that isn’t for animals, while others love their dogs by not allowing them “people food.” Some love their dogs by making them go for walks even if they don’t want to go out, because they think it’s good for them, while others give in & let the furbaby stay in. Some people express love for their dogs, putting a coat on them when it’s cold, buying them a doggy bed, lots of toys, while others love theirs just as much but not doing these things.

Some of these things aren’t important for me to do with my own dogs/cat. But if it’s important to the person whose pet I am taking care of, it becomes just as important to me to do for the pet even if I don’t do that for my own. I love getting to experience loving all of these babies everyday, both in my own way, and loving them how they are loved by their own family. I feel that it’s a great kindness to welcome me into their homes, families, & lives, to love their pets.

What a gift to have a job like this. I cherish the moments and honor the love in each one.

Whatever our job is, whether it’s a paid job, stay at home mom or dad, volunteer job….and not just jobs but with each moment in this life, let’s remember the love, be mindful, intentional, conscious…& honor that love in each breath.πŸ’–

Almost everything we do, no matter how simple or trivial it may seem, whether it’s required of us or not, is helping someone or something, somehow contributing to the world around us being even if just a little bit better. No matter how unimportant a job may seem or how unfulfilling it is to the one working, it is very likely helping something or someone and that is why it exists. Mopping floors, serving food, filing papers, answering phones….are all important in some way to those being served and/or the employers we work for. And even just doing something that helps no one but our own self, sipping coffee/tea, watching a sunset, coloring…be all there and cherish those moments. Let all that we do be done in love! (I think this is a biblical quote or something like it & it deeply resonates with me!) 😍

Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the small uncaring ways.

Much love & light to you, always! I hope you are having a beautiful day or night wherever in the world you are!

Xoxo Kim