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Kindness♡

(Diane – July 14, 1956 – February 14, 2015)

“Treat everyone with kindness, even those who are rude to you – not because they are kind, but because you are.”

I wrote this about a week ago but never posted it so here it is!

Recently, I have had some difficult interactions with some people acting unreasonably and petty. I have been pissed for the last couple days and so distressed it triggered a severe flareup of my chronic pain disorder. Last night I laid awake in agony. It was one of my worst experiences. I felt like I was going insane. And it’s all my own doing. I let those people drive me to this point.
Today when I was out walking, I caught myself thinking of ways to unleash my anger in unpleasant ways. I wanted people to know what I think of them (it’s definitely not kind, loving thoughts!) and I realized that my usual kind, loving, patient self was pushed aside and very unpleasant, destructive emotions took the place of the love & patience I usually experience & display.

While I was standing there dwelling on my resentment for the people I had unpleasant encounters with and conjuring up unkind ways to let them know of my resentment, I thought of Diane. My close friend who always talked to and about me and bragged about me like I was her own daughter. She has three sons and grandchildren but no daughter of her own. Her love for me always seemed like a mother’s love. 

I used to have it planned to have a job working with people with “extra/special” needs. Diane knew that those kinds of jobs arent the easiest and not always pleasant. She worked at a hospital for a while. She told me one of her worst fears was that I would lose my patience, softness, warmth, kindness….if I had to encounter people who are not easy to deal with. She said she couldn’t bear to think of me changing. As I write this, my heart wells up with gratitude, love, warmth….someone who loved me so much, the real me, that she was terrified of me changing! To have a love like that is a blessing. Diane is no longer is this world and I still struggle so hard with my deep grief, even years later, but not once since losing her have I ever felt that I lost her love. I carry it with me always. Her love for me will survive as long as I do. And even longer since I have stories about her in my writing here. 

Diane wasn’t what people would probably describe as “warm” or “soft.” She was loud, assertive, sarcastic, outspoken. We knew when she was pissed, when she had a problem with us, when she was fed up, when she loved us; she did not hold back. On multiple occasions, she threatened to kick my ass. The very last word I heard her say before she was taken so suddenly, so unexpectedly, was “unfuckingbelievable.” She said this then slammed a window in my face. I still smile & laugh when I remember this. 

So cursed a lot and even yelled at people. But she was deeply compassionate, extremely generous, caring, loving…she cared for people with drug addiction, mental health problems, financial problems(which she struggled with herself). She always gave to others what she hardly had herself. She would go above & beyond to help people; even those who wouldn’t do the same for her.

 She never gossiped about others. If she had something to say, she said it right to our faces. She wasn’t always pleasant, though she often was. I did not always care for her sarcasm, especially when I first met her, many years ago. She did not have the patience I have. But I have always loved her (and still love her!) just how she was.

I love how she did not want me to be like her; she wanted me to be just how I am. Always. 

Since she died a couple years ago I have struggled to find ways to honor her life. I have a silver necklace with her name engraved, have performed acts of kindness in her memory, posted things about her…all which I find healing to some degree. But I have just kept having this inkling that there must be more. A more profound way to keep her memory, her love going. And I have longed for a deeper healing. 

Then as I was standing outside, contemplating a kind of revenge, giving into thoughts & emotions of anger, aggression, destruction….I thought of her and her worst fear. Her fear that I would let others drag me down to the point that I stop being kind, patient, loving, warm. And I made the decision right then and there that for her, I won’t give in. I won’t give into the temptation to seek revenge, to lash out, to say or do something unkind to someone for doing that to me. I would never become bitter & unkind completely but I can temporarily slip into those things.

There may be occasions in this life that I will be less patient, less kind, less warm, than I am, but I will let Diane’s love for me, wash over me and inspire me to let my love ultimately prevail. I choose to not let this difficult situation with these difficult people drag me so low that I act in destructive ways towards them or myself. 

What better way to honor Diane than to keep shining my own light, the light she was so afraid would be snuffed by difficult circumstances? I will keep shining, keep smiling, and keep trying to lift others along the way. ♡

 I would love to invite everyone to join me on my journey of love!

I hope you are having a beautiful day or night wherever in the world you are. ♡ Hugs to you. ♡

Much love & light, always,

Xoxo Kim

Wonder.

“Around us, life bursts with miracles–a glass of water, a ray of sunshine, a leaf, a caterpillar, a flower, laughter, raindrops. If you live in awareness, it is easy to see miracles everywhere. Each human being is a multiplicity of miracles. Eyes that see thousands of colors, shapes, and forms; ears that hear a bee flying or a thunderclap; a brain that ponders a speck of dust as easily as the entire cosmos; a heart that beats in rhythm with the heartbeat of all beings. When we are tired and feel discouraged by life’s daily struggles, we may not notice these miracles, but they are always there.”

No matter what is happening in our day, no matter how busy, stressed, happy, tired, exhausted, numb….or anything else we are experiencing, let’s stop for a minute to appreciate this life and all the beauty & joy it’s filled with. ❤ ❤ Savor every beam of sunlight, every reflection, shadow, raindrop, flower petal, taste, scent, texture, sound, smile, person, animal, insect, breath, heartbeat, experience…What a beautiful reminder! And don’t forget to smile! 😀 There’s so so much to smile about!!

Much love & light to you, always,

xoxo Kim ❤


Love. 

(this is me yesterday!) 

“It is possible to live twenty-four hours a day in a state of love. Every movement, every glance, every thought, and every word can be infused with love.”  ❤

Choose Love in every step, every breath, every heartbeat. Even if we do not feel loving every single moment we can still choose loving actions/intentions and eventually feel loving emotions more frequently & more deeply.

 😀 

There are so many ways to choose Love in each moment even if it’s as simple as not speaking if all we feel we have to say is something unkind. Hold that tongue! 😉

Love can be a feeling but also an action/verb/intention. 

If you want you can look at my Instagram accout: 0.eye.of.the.tiger.0

It’s the only social media accout I have been using recently. I post nothing but loving things (or sometimes funny things). My phone & kindle both have very low storage and do not work properly. I have to clear them. And my e-mail account has been too full and not working well. I have no facebook app because it stopped working and can’t send e-mails either. I tend to be very disorganized! lol I miss everyone and haven’t talked to anyone online (or even in person friends! except dogs!) for a while! I work seven days a week and love it!! Sometimes I’m very busy and sometimes not busy much at all but recently been very busy. I take care of animals so have no problem working seven days! For a while I worked 8:00am til after 10:00pm seven days a week! Last night I had an overnight stay with a dog. Working with sweet furbabies is the best!! ❤

I hope you are well and hope your day/night is full of love & light & beauty.

Much love,

xoxo Kim 

My boys❤🐾

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Aren’t my babies so cute?!?! 😍🐾❤😀

Woody is the baby (the chihuahua – he’s two years old) & Emmy, the pom pom, is the daddy. He’s four years old. ❤ Adorable furkins. 

Just a cute picture to brighten your day (or night – it’s night here)! ❤ Much love & light & hugs to you! ❤

 xoxo Kim 😀

~Hugs & Love~ <3

This is a collage of inspiring pictures I took in various locations around the city. I hope it brings a sense of inspiration/consolation to someone! I find all of these signs/ads/things…. deeply inspiring! 

Much love & light to you; always! ~Hugs & love~ to you! ❤ 😀 

xoxo Kim 

Life hacks 😀

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(this is me lol I couldn’t seem to find any specific picture good for this post n I’m getting ready to leave for work soon so here I am!) 😀😍 [This post is a few days old n I never posted it yet.]

lol These aren’t really life hacks but just random friendly reminders/tips. I have been wanting to post these to help/”save” anyone I can! 😀❤😍

Sometimes I find myself in awkward or sucky situations that could have been prevented if only I was prepared. 

So here goes!

1.) Keep tissues & doggy doo doo bags (if you walk dogs!) in every pocket on your clothes/bag! Even pockets you never or rarely use. Just do as I say. lol You won’t regret it one bit. So what if your pockets look all stuffed! It’s way better than your snots & boogers everywhere! And in cold weather the nose gets all sore. Vaporub works wonders! My nose runs frequently all year long whether or not I have a cold. I don’t know why but it totally sucks. It was like this since I was a little girl. I must have a chronic allergy or something. I’m actually experiencing annoyance bordering on anger as I write this. It’s one of the very rare things I don’t like about myself. I can’t stand it. When I was little I would be in class with my nose pouring and too shy to ask for a tissue. I would sniff and sniff and hurt my sinuses. Or have to resort to using my shirt sleeve to brush the snots away which is totally disgusting. And not the snots on my clothes that’s disgusting but the feel of that material on my skin. 

I couldn’t concentrate on my work and even when I got home I would be so pissed thinking about it.

Now I occasionally still find myself without a tissue and my nose running and still too shy to ask for a tissue. Once I took a tissue I found on the ground and used it. My sister was nauseated at the idea. Oh well. So  I do my best to remember to stuff every single pocket on my clothes and handbags everywhere. So many occasions I saved myself finding a tissue in a pocket I forgot exists! Thank you me!!

And doggy bags. Ever walk a dog who takes a doo doo; especially in front of someone and you realize you have no bag or anything to pick it up with?! Awkward!!

There have been occasions I took an already used bag someone else threw away to use for my furkin I’m walking. Eww right?! But wouldn’t you prefer that I use a used bag than it ending up on your shoe or left on your pavement in front of your house?! lol

So doggy bags & tissues. Stuff them everywhere! Absolutely everywhere! Can never have enough!

2.) Save work you are writing like every two seconds. It’s worth it! If you ever wrote something long and brilliant then lost it all in an instant you know it’s worth it to save every few seconds! Unexpected things occur!

3.) Copy your work so if the app or icon or whatever, suddenly closes without warning and all your stuff is gone, you can just hit the “paste” option. I have this problem sometimes with Instagram and WordPress where it just closes and drafts did not save. But now I’m genius enough to usually copy it just in case! Go me!! 😉 Also, send it to yourself in an e-mail to have it backed up.

4.) Keep change aside just for homeless people or others in need. Ever come across a person who needs change and you have nothing at all to give? It sucks! 😦 I always feel so sorry. <\3 Maybe you don’t like to help the homeless. Some say it “enables” their “helplessness” or some shit like that. Whatever. But not everyone in need is homeless. I have come across frantic young mothers with very young children screaming their heads off, who forgot or lost their wallet or just did not have the money. Who doesn’t want to help a struggling young mom?! And not just money but there’s other stuff someone may need that we can keep available just in case we come across anyone in need. Lighters & matches. People frequently ask me for these. I have never smoked anything as long as I been alive and so almost never have matches or lighters. And I really wish I could help when they ask. I haven’t yet but thought about buying some just for when they ask. I get asked enough. And for cigarettes too. But I don’t quite have the money to support someone’s addiction\habit to that extent. Tokens. Anything we think someone somewhere may need we can keep aside! If not though; that’s ok! It’s just a sweet idea!

5.) Write important stuff like phone numbers, addresses, reminders…you need for the day, down on paper and not just on an electronic thing like a phone because if the battery drains or it falls and breaks you may be shit out of luck! This saved me already!

6.) Make sure your water bottle cap or soda bottle cap is screwed on properly before it goes in your bag with your phone/Kindle/other electronics. Lol I’m starting to sound like a mom! But recently I discovered the hard way that my water bottle cap wasn’t on correctly. Everything in my shoulderbag, including my Kindle, drenched! 

7.) Don’t walk for two hours straight especially in cheap shoes. Last month I walked for one hour and fifty five minutes non stop, not one rest just constant walking, in thin canvas shoes and the shoes fell apart and I was in severe pain for a few weeks. I got myself better but for a while thought I did permanent damage to myself. I abused my body which I will not do again. Rest when your body sends signs that it needs it. Wear appropriate clothing/shoes for the activity youre engaging in. Messed up joints, bones, muscles, tendons, and other body parts is no joke!! Our body is a beautiful gift and in my opinion it is to be treated with reverence, not abused in any way for any reason. I did not realize the abuse I did to myself til it was done. 

8.) If you come across an aggressive dog, do NOT look the dog in the eyes or smile with your teeth showing. Keep your hands to your sides with your palms not facing the dog. Stay still. Don’t even look at the dog. If the dog is aggressive because of fear it’s good to get onto the ground or floor to show the little furkin that you are on his/her level and not a threat. If the dog is just aggressive and vicious do NOT get on the floor (the little mofo will lunge at your face lol) if you’re standing up. Just stay that way until the dog walks away or someone comes to rescue you. Don’t turn your back to the animal. If youre already on the floor protect your face Get into a fetal position and be still. I’m no dog expert but I learned some things (Some the hard way lol). If you can, get something to block yourself so if the dog lunges the teeth sink into the object and not your flesh. If the teeth get your flesh, don’t pull away! Ouch! It just makes the injury worse. Stay calm or at least pretend to be. It makes everything better! 😀

9.) If pop ups spring up on your screen and have no X or won’t click off, minimize the thing youre using and then bring it up again and the popup may be gone. All of a sudden some weeks ago a million and one popups just come on my phone screen each day and some have no cancel option and some do but it doesn’t work. All along I had to just click off the apps/websites and lose whatever I was doing. But then I decided to minimize it and see what occurs and find that the ad just goes away! I hope it helps you too! What’s with all these popups each day now? I’m more thankful than annoyed now though because they help me practice patience and strengthen that virtue even more. I’m very patient but still have room to evolve!

10.) And last but not least, in distressing situations, take a few deep breaths and ask yourself, What would Buddha do? Buddha is a symbol of love & patience. He can inspire us all; not just Buddhist people. He would never lash out or get overly stressed. Of course we are mere mortals and not nearly as advanced as someone who becomes enlightened and so cannot always do exactly what Buddha would do (staying completely calm in hectic or horrific situations, for example) but we can look to him for inspiration. 

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I hope these help! ~Hugs & love~ to you. 😀❤😍

xoxo Kim