Tag Archive | age

Hey ’19!🎉

(This is me yesterday!❤)

Hey Nineteen – Steely Dan
It’s hard times befallen soul survivors
She thinks I’m crazy but I’m just growing old
Hey nineteen
(no we got nothing in common) We can’t dance together
(no we can’t talk at all)
Please take me along when you slide on down

Happy New Year!

This is a fun song I always loved to listen to! The people singing are like my age (30 something years old I think) and they feel old upon meeting a nineteen year old girl. Even though I’m their age, I feel more like the nineteen year old! Lol I look and feel, act, and just seem much younger than my actual age. What makes us “old” or “young” and happy or not is our attitude, not our chronological age. I frequently hear/see people saying and writing that when we get to be thirty years old, our body and other things start to go downhill. It’s only true if we let it be. I’m well over 30 years old and am anything but old or going downhill. My body is strong and healthy and extremely energetic. I never get tired, except a healthy/normal tired at night, and I work seven days a week, sometimes 24 hours or nearly 24 hours non-stop!

If we have a lighthearted attitude and don’t care about age along with keeping our body as healthy as possible (physical exercise, meditation, healthy food, sleep/rest when needed…), age does not matter. When we’re old/middle aged, can we still have fun with friends and family? Yes! Can we still taste food? Yes! Can we still breathe? Yes! Can we have fun watching movies, going out, reading, doing whatever activites we like to do? Yes! Can we still exercise? Yes! Can we still work? Yes! Does our thinking process still work? Yes! Can we go out on romantic dates? Yes! Dress in sexy clothes? Yes! Try new things? Yes! Go on vacation? Yes! Change jobs! Yes! Go to school? Yes! Hook up with random strangers? Yes! (Lol) Find true love or keep true love? Yes! Help those in need? Yes!

So why does age matter? We can do all the same things as when we were young even if it’s not socially acceptable (certain fashion choices are often considered to be for young people, for example, but so what?).

“Tired” is often the default response when asked how we are. Everywhere I go, I hear it. People who are much younger than I am are frequently complaining about being an adult and therefore so tired.

And I’m frequently seeing memes about it on social media, about how being an adult equals being tired.

(So accurate these days!! Not my photo!)

Frequently being tired or fatigued is a result of less than perfect health, being overworked, or being unhappy, stressed, distressed, imbalanced in some way…healthy, happy, balanced adults are not constantly fatigued or tired. This isn’t to say we are definitely tired if we’re stressed or something but that if we are frequently tired, something is draining us so fix it.

It’s not a good thing to just accept it as being part of adulthood.

I know a cute & sweet 87 year old lady, named Mary, who is very happy, healthy, and physically active. She frequently brags about her age and how healthy she is!😍

She’s an animal lover, very Liberal politically but loves those with opposing views.

She goes shopping, does not have much money, is single, goes to all different events, does volunteer work, decorates for holidays, cooks, hosts celebrations at her house for holidays, ballgames, her and her daughter welcome everyone, even strangers so no one has to be alone on “special” occasions…and she was even asked on a date recently by a younger man! (She said no because he is a bit younger and she doesnt know him well but at 87 years old she is still turning the heads of younger men! She also said the world is full of idiots so we should just stay single! 😂 )

Age is no excuse to be unhappy, to be always tired, to be unhealthy, to be trudging along through this life dragging and complaining!

Whatever we can do as a younger person, we can do now!

And this goes for anything we want but do not have. Without it, we can still have fun, still go out, still dress up, still love….

It can be painful to want what we do not have (to be younger, friends, kids, a romantic relationship, fulfilling job, our own house, a school degree, more money, better health….) but we do not need those things to be happy. It’s true, some of those things would bring us a kind of happiness we won’t have without them but it doesn’t mean we can’t be ultumately happy or just as happy in general without.

It’s all about the attitude. Stop thinking we’re old and we won’t be!

I’m 30 something years old, have a job I love but not a job that brings a lot of money, I’m in financial debt, do not live on my own, don’t have good in-person friends, am single, don’t have a family of my own….but am still generally happy and never tired or feeling old! It’s a good reminder for me also because sometimes I let myself get unhappy about not having lots of friends to do stuff with when most people do. I remind myself I can still have fun and be happy anyway and I can love myself even if no one else does. ❤ I do have a couple friends but not good ones and one I never see. But that’s ok!

Focus on the good, keep the body well nourished, be active, physically, do some mindfulness exercises even if for just five minutes a day, help others, don’t set unrealistic goals or have unrealistic expectations, lose the life timeline where certain things “should” be done by a certain age, stop the negative comparisons with others, say no to perfectionism, try new things, fun hobbies, get rid of the “I should be but I’m not” mentality, protect our energy….and we will be happy, energetic, and young no matter our actual age!

Much love,

Kim ❤

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Dancing Queen

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Today I have been watching scenes on Youtube out of the movie Mamma Mia. I saw it in a theatre some years ago. It’s an extremely uplifting movie. Even if we don’t watch the whole thing, the brief scenes on youtube are very inspiring.

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Here is an amazing scene with these lovely ladies dancing & singing to the song Dancing Queen by Abba.

These gals are nowhere near seventeen years old. I think they’re like 60 something years old (maybe older?) but they still got it going on! They’re beautiful, sexy, hot, gorgeous, youthful and full of life. They even have some very young men after them! lol

;-D

The one lady is in a low mood so her two best girls decide to cheer her up!

She says “I grew up” and they say “Well then grow back down again! Screw ’em if they can’t take a joke!”

Then they begin singing & dancing and acting silly.

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What an inspiring scene!!

A fantastic reminder that as long as we are young at heart, we are young. Youth isn’t about age but attitude.

And these lovelies have an amazing attitude.

And if we can’t sing or dance good, so what?! It makes it even more fun!

😀

We don’t have to be seventeen years old to act like and feel like a seventeen year old! ;-D

Let’s not let age, social expectations, or life circumstances hold us back or drag us down!

Let’s grow back down again!

😀 ❤

These are all screen caps.

Also, thank you for the sweet comments! I will get back to you soon! My e-mail and some parts of wordpress aren't working good now. It happens now & again with my wifi connection I think.

I try to respond or "like" and my screen crashes. :-O

Much love to you!

xoxo Kim

On being humble

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“When we embody love, we are the most powerful being in the universe.” ~ Emmanuel

I wasn’t always as developed as I am now. While I have always been empathetic, compassionate, loving, and understanding of others, not all of those qualities of mine were always as deep or as vast as they are today. I used to be more judgmental than I am now, sometimes criticizing people or things without thinking it completely through if it’s really necessary, sometimes overlooking the fact that I also do things that can, maybe even “should” be, judged critically.

“The praise that comes from love does not make us vain, but more humble.”
 ~James Matthew Barrie

I think for most of us, we evolve the longer we live, the more we experience even if we don’t realize we’re evolving. And when we do realize we are becoming wiser, more educated, more aware,  it’s possible to let it run away with us, let ourselves become a little bit too stuck up or arrogant, too proud, let our heads get too big.

Sometimes I feel so enlightened in some respects. I see things so much more clearly than I did before. I see how wrong I was in some ways about some things. And there have been occasions when I caught myself becoming too full of myself, arrogant, judgmental when I would have an encounter with someone who I perceived as not to be as “enlightened” or aware as I am.
Someone who still holds opinions that are not very evolved or opinions I disagree with or someone who handles those opinions in ways I don’t appreciate or wouldn’t do myself.

Like when I would meet someone who did not realize things or know things that I now know or realize.  And I would criticize the person for it, totally neglecting to realize that at one point I did not realize this or something else, either and that right now at this very moment there are things I don’t know or understand, that I am so less developed than I will be in years to come, with age and much more experience. I’m not the most enlightened being on Earth and likely never will be.  And that’s ok.

It reminds me of when I would take certain Logic and critical thinking classes in college. In the beginning of one class, our professor told us that in a few weeks we would already know so much more than the average person about reasoning, arguing, debating. He said we would begin to see all the flaws in people’s reasoning in everyday life. People around us, people on TV, commercials, everywhere. He said him, as a Logician with extremely advanced reasoning skills and nearly flawless logic, couldn’t turn off his ability to instantly detect flaws in reasoning even when he would be out with friends having a simple or trivial conversation, watching TV whether it was comedy movies or political or religious debates, reading, everywhere. His knowledge of Logic, fallacies, arguments…is so superior he can’t help but just see how everyone else’s logic is just so flawed. He often had to resist the urge to correct everyone everywhere. 

I had a few philosophy professors who told us, although probably mostly in jest, that we may soon regret taking the class because all of  a sudden everyone around us becomes so “stupid,” unenlightened, or unreasonable that it’s nauseating. Lol 

They said we may become arrogant, inpatient, intolerant of everyone who has never taken a logic or critical thinking class. And it was true. I did start to detect flaws in people’s reasoning everywhere I would go, even in simple, everyday conversations. I noticed how fallacious so many arguments really are. Sometimes it was so frustrating to know so much more than the average person about certain things.

And years later when I began to actively practice and meditate upon universal compassion and general tolerance more than ever before and realized it’s the best way for me to be, I started to sometimes catch myself judging others who weren’t that way.

Sometimes I would give myself a pat on the back for being “just so much more evolved” than most people I know or come in contact with.

When someone would get worked up during an argument, sling an explicit insult at an opponent, argue in flawed ways like I used to do, I would be critical of those people, praising myself for being “beyond that.”

Now I quickly correct myself if ever I catch myself doing that. I’m usually patient in the face of other people’s impatience, gentle with other people’s aggression, non judgmental of someone else’s judgments, tolerant of other people’s intolerance and accepting of someone else’s lack of acceptance. I understand that not everyone will be understanding and I have more compassion than I used to, for those who lack compassion. 

Constructive criticism is often a good thing but it can be delivered in a humble way. Assertiveness is necessary in some cases, firmness and unwavering confidence and strength in the face of some injustice.

Love & compassion & acceptance that I write or speak of, in no way means backing down and not speaking up. It doesn’t mean letting people get away with things they should not get away with. It simply means knowing bad things happen, injustice exists in the world, people have differing and horrible opinions and do horrible things but we don’t have to sink to the level of getting even, wishing horrific things on people as punishments, slinging insults and hurting others to seek retribution.

It’s possible to be firm, assertive, grounded, loud, opinionated but loving. 

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It’s important to stand up for whatever our Truth is, to advocate for what we believe in, speak out against injustice, abuse, cruelty in any form, to defend those who need us, speak up for those who need supporters…but we can do this while promoting love instead of bashing those who disagree. “Promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate.”

It’s not always easy but I believe it’s worth the struggle.

I’m very into Buddhism which teaches universal love and compassion. I’m not a Buddhist but I read about it everyday and practice many of their principles. There are more things I don’t know and understand about Buddhism than things I do know and understand. But I learn more and more each day.

You don’t have to be a Buddhist to incorporate many of their virtues into your own life.
And it’s compatible with religions including Christianity, Judaism, and others. Some people disagree or don’t realize. But Buddhists don’t necessarily believe in any specific god and their principles can go along with the principles of various religions.

You can think of Buddhism as a philosophy or as a religion.

Monastic Buddhists are seriously dedicated, hardcore Buddhists who follow everything in the Lamrim, every principle in excruciating detail and lay Buddhists are looser in their views or lifestyles. They take Buddhism seriously but don’t necessarily follow every principle of Buddhism.

One of the things I love completely about genuine Buddhism and true Buddhists or pro Buddhists is that they teach and promote certain principles and ways of life but they do not enforce them or judge those who do not adopt those views, attitudes, and ways. They teach, guide, advocate for but fully accept that others will not and they embrace those people anyway. This way they remain peaceful within and allow others to be what they will.

I think sometimes when some of us become enlightened on something or think we have and realize we were wrong or utterly ignorant or clueless previously, it can instill embarrassment into us, embarrassment that we did not know or realize this all along, it’s now so obvious, how wasn’t it always this blatant? And the humiliation is so strong we want to avoid it, repress, deny it and run fast away instead of facing it. So what do we do in this case? What makes it easier to avoid confronting ourselves on how wrong or clueless we were before? What’s often easier than admitting I was wrong? Judging, criticizing others who are in the place I used to be in, those who know less about something I now know more about, those with an opinion I once shared but now converted to a “better” one. It’s easier than confessing that I was wrong before and now realize or have become enlightened or changed. It’s easier to verbally attack the me I see in someone else than the real me, my own flesh and blood.

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I believe it’s important to stay humble no matter how much more I think I know. Or how right I think I am.

There will always be those who know more than me and those who know less. Those who are more primitive and those more evolved, people who are cruel and seem stupid and those whose intelligence is way out of the average person’s league, people with extreme compassion and deep understanding of others and ones who couldn’t care less to try to understand, open minded and narrow minded, educated and uneducated, enlightened and still in the dark….and to me, they all deserve compassion, empathy, and to be embraced in universal love even if they don’t display that same love or care to be embraced in it. I can still wish them the best and let them go their own way while going my way. That is true, pure, selfless love. At some point I have been and will be again, many of those things I mentioned above. 

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~Hug the hurt
Kiss the broken
Befriend the lost
Love the lonely~ 

I believe in Universal Love, higher love, all encompassing love and compassion, being One with all that is. 
Not everyone will agree and that’s ok.

You’re Gonna Miss This

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“First I was dying to finish high school and start college. And then I was dying to finish college and start working. And then I was dying to marry and have children. And then I was dying for my children to grow old enough for school so I could return to work. And then I was dying to retire.
And now I am dying…
And suddenly I realize I forgot to live.” ~ Unknown 

Yesterday morning I woke up to a lovely, Positively Positive, post:

http://www.positivelypositive.com/2014/04/07/there-is-no-perfect-age/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+positivelypositive%2Fpositive+(Positively+Positive)

The author states that every age and stage of life has its blessings and its challenges. No age or stage is “THE perfect one.”

And it’s great to appreciate each stage for what it is.

I frequently say that getting older is a blessing and so is every age, young or old. The longer we live the more chances we have to love and be loved, bless and be blessed, learn, teach, give and receive, meet more wonderful people, animals, have more opportunities to do, see, encounter all kinds of amazing things. Getting older is a gift denied to many. If you’re here, you’re blessed, irrespective of your age or stage of life.

Maybe you’re young and jobless, in college and struggling financially, maybe you’re single or experiencing the stresses of life as a married person, caring for a family, house, working a lot, maybe you’re waiting to retire and be done with your job, waiting for your kids to grow up so you can be done with most of the stress factors of taking care of children….

Maybe you’re single and long to be married or married and are longing for those days you were more carefree. Maybe you have no kids and think you won’t be happy until you have one. Maybe you do have kids and it’s hectic and you’re stressed and pulling out your hair.

Maybe your kids just moved away or you are done work for good and you’re feeling kind of empty.

There are unique gifts that you have when you’re single that you won’t when you’re married or in a committed romantic relationship and the other way around. There are blessings you have being someone without children that you won’t have if you have children but there are blessings you have when you have them that you did not have when you weren’t yet someone with a child.

Whatever stage of life you are currently in, chances are there is something about it you don’t like much and another stage or age is looking really good. But whatever stage that is, it also has challenges as well as gifts.

Wanting to be younger doesn’t make much sense when you think about it because you are so much wiser now, know so much more, have much more experience than back then. And if you wish you could go back but still know and be all that you are now, it’s basically the same thing then but with a different numerical label.

People often want to be younger because of the physical aspects or sexual (and other) appeal of youth but you can be appealing, in any way, at any age.  And an appealing personality is better than a bangin’ body anyway. I actually believe that a woman’s beauty often deepens with age, in different ways. And I find this to be true for men too. Anyone can be wise, beautiful, and intelligent at any age, but age definitely brings blessings with each one.

And if you feel currently trapped within your youth, just remember, you won’t always be this way. You will grow, lose people and things, gain other things, meet more people, current moments will turn to memories to be cherished and you will develop more and more memories.

But one thing is very likely, wherever you currently are right now, no matter how stressful or chaotic, there’s something you’re going to miss about this.

I can think of previous stages I once lived, and couldn’t wait for parts of it to end, that I now miss! Even things I once found stressful or boring. Thinking back, reminiscing, I experience a sense of sadness or longing sometimes. Even for things I never thought I could miss. It’s bittersweet. 

But this isn’t about being sad or wishing to go back or about regrets.   It’s about becoming aware of right now and embracing the present knowing that one day it’s possible that we’ll look back on this and realize how great it really is/was but we never realized.

It’s about taking full advantage of the NOW even if we’re struggling.   Then we can look back, miss it, but still know at least we made the most of it while we had the chance. 

I write here frequently about how I love country music! Especially when it’s songs about love and ones that are inspirational and uplifting and full of wisdom.   I have a long playlist of them. Yesterday I was introduced to one I haven’t heard of before then! Trace Adkins’, “You’re Gonna Miss This.”

In the article above, the author mentions this song! 

The dad is singing about how his little girl couldn’t wait to grow up and throughout different stages of her life, all she wanted was the next stage. Her dad tells her to slow down and just cherish now. Now is good.

Even with screaming kids, barking dogs, a small apartment with stuff breaking down. Now is good.

“Before she knows it she’s a brand new bride
In a one-bedroom apartment, and her daddy stops by
He tells her It’s a nice place
She says It’ll do for now
Starts talking about babies and buying a house
Daddy shakes his head and says Baby, just slow down
You’re gonna miss this
You’re gonna want this back
You’re gonna wish these days hadn’t gone by so fast
These Are Some Good Times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now 
But you’re gonna miss this
Five years later there’s a plumber workin’ on the water heater
Dog’s barkin’, phone’s ringin’
One kid’s cryin’, one kid’s screamin’
She keeps apologizin’
He says They don’t bother me. 
I’ve got 2 babies of my own. 
One’s 36, one’s 23.
Huh, it’s hard to believe, but …”

Awww

I love it.

Whether you’re a 20 year old girl and broke as a joke, struggling to find your place in this life or a 40 year old person wishing you were younger and more youthful again, or a 60 year old person waiting to retire to be done work or 80, 100 years or older, cherish right now.

This song reminds me of another song with a similar concept:

“Then they do” – Also sung by Trace Adkins about how parents often can’t wait til their kids grow up, have lives of their own, find true happiness and dreams coming true. Then they do. And then that’s when they start to miss all the days their kids were young and annoying and stressing over trivial things.   It teaches us to appreciate what we have now.

So if you catch yourself saying “I can’t wait till….I have more money, it’s Friday, my vacation, I’m a certain age or I wish…I could be younger, more accomplished, more important…
” just remember, you are enough just as you are and one day, you just may find that you miss this.

” No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.” ~ Dale E. Turner

“No matter how long you have been traveling down the wrong road it’s never too late to turn around and begin again. ” ~ Unknown 

Xoxo Kim


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Don’t Stop Believing {at any age}

”Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.” ~Dale E. Turner I was at work one night and noticed that the newspaper for the neighborhood I live in has a section called “Focus on the Seniors”. It is dedicated to acknowledging the top three goals or dreams the senior aged people have or want to achieve. Ruth: wants to go to Australia, live long enough to watch her grandchildren grow up, and make sure everything is right with her family. Josephine: wants to become a millionaire, win the lottery, and go to Alaska Johanna: wants to keep playing bingo and keep going for walks which she loves, she is also happy with her grandchildren Kathy: wants to visit Australia and has already been to Hawaii and Alaska, she wants to go to Disney Land, and skydive! Miss Jackie: stay healthy, be productive, stay a volunteer as long as she can at the Rec Center Raydella: she has already accomplished two of her greatest dreams having a job she is happy with and having children and now she would love to go on vacation for an entire month! Children were also interviewed for their goals: Margaret(Maggie) age 5 years: wants to go back to Build a Bear workshop, go to the Poconos because she has never been to the mountains, be a ghost for Halloween Jay age 11 years: go to Scotland, go to college, be a pro baseball player Amiera age 8 years: play basketball, be a model, and be a fashion designer Ben age 9 years: be a baker, be a lawyer, be a baseball player Cassidy age 9 years: be an Olympic swimmer, be a cheerleader, be a singer Christian age 7 years: be a veterinarian, play baseball, join Boy Scouts This inspires me deeply because it shows that at any age, young or old, we can have goals, hopes, and dreams. We are never too old or too young. And we can have simple goals such as going to disney land or watching children grow or dressing up for Halloween or big ones like becoming a lawyer, veterinarian, or an Olympic swimmer! It doesn’t matter as long as we keep on dreaming! So many people mistakenly believe that once we are a certain age we are too old to have big dreams or too old to accomplish things or have new beginnings. Or they believe that when people are a certain age, they no longer have a strong desire or zest for life or to accomplish goals and have big dreams because of their age. But the truth is any age, young or old, is the perfect age to plan things and have goals and desires. Old age doesn’t have to dull us or prohibit us or restrain us. Age is never a bad thing or a reason to feel depressed or criticize ourselves or others; old age is a blessing because we are fortunate enough to have lived that long and have chances and opportunities; this is something frequently denied to so many. In this world currently, many people die decades before they could have. Every age has its blessings. And embracing old age/aging even along with all of its perceived social flaws and challenges and difficulties is very helpful and effective to make us happier and feel more blessed, satisfied, and fulfilled. Sure, you may have extra wrinkles and laughlines, and maybe some aches and pains and gray hair and maybe your body can’t do exactly what it used to but you can still be youthful and happy and just think of all the people who have missed out or will miss out on that because of premature/tragic death. So no matter how old you are or feel, go chase your dreams and feel blessed and grateful that you are alive and therefore have a chance. This can rejuvenate you and make you feel and seem more youthful naturally. You may not be able to accomplish certain things or everything but you can do something and choose your attitude about the things you can’t do. “No matter how long you have been traveling down the wrong road, it’s never too late to turn around and start over, as long as you’re alive.” ~Unknown ❤ I also know that people compare themselves to others their age and often feel low about not accomplishing “as much” or accomplishing the same things as their peers. But everyone is different and lives at their own pace. If you are a certain age and haven’t accomplished what other things people your age have or what you thought you would or should by now, it’s ok because you have other blessings so focusing on them is helpful and you can still attempt to obtain others things you want as long as you’re living. Your life doesn’t have to look like other people’s to be just as great. We are all different and diversity should be cherished. And even if you don’t succeed in realizing all of your dreams or achieving all goals, at least you tried and have things to look forward to! <3. “Failing” or “falling” is not pleasant but it’s not the end of the world either and it can help you grow and learn and evolve. “I’ve got a song And I carry it with me and I sing it loud If it gets me nowhere, I’ll go there proud” ~ Jim Croce I love how uplifting it is to see all kinds of people of any age talking about future plans and goals and dreams, big or small. There are so many endless possibilities and new beginnings and so much hope around us. ❤ XoKim :O) “It’s better to be over the hill than under it.” This One’s for the Girls ~Martina McBride ❤ “This one’s for all you girls about thirteen High school can be so rough, can be so mean Hold onto, on to your innocence Stand your ground when everyone’s giving in This one’s for the girls This is for all you girls about twenty-five In a little apartment, just trying to get by Living on, on dreams and spaghetti-o’s Wondering where you life is gonna go This one’s for the girls Who’ve ever had a broken heart Who’ve wished upon a shooting star You’re beautiful the way you are This one’s for the girls Who love without holding back Who dream with everything they have All around the world This one’s for the girls This is for all you girls about forty-two Tossing pennies into the Fountain of Youth Every laugh, laugh line on your face Made you who you are today This one’s for the girls Who’ve ever had a broken heart Who’ve wished upon a shooting star You’re beautiful the way you are This one’s for the girls Who love without holding back Who dream with everything they have All around the world This one’s for the girls Yeah, we’re all the same inside (same inside) From 1 to 99 This one’s for the girls Who’ve ever had a broken heart Who’ve wished upon a shooting star You’re beautiful the way you are This one’s for the girls Who love without holding back Who dream with everything they have All around the world This one’s for the girls Yeah, this one’s for the girls” :O) 😀 🙂 “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” George Bernard Shaw “Some people are old at 18 and some are young at 90. Time is a concept that humans created.” Yoko Ono “I’ve got a dream I know I could share it if you want me to If your going my way I’ll go with you” ~Jim Croce