Friday the 13th & Alice Cooper <3

” Did you hear that voice
Did you see that face
Or was it just a dream
This can’t be real
That only happens, babe
On the movie screen
Oh, but he’s back
He’s the man behind the mask
And he’s out of control
He’s back” ~ Alice Cooper (He’s Back)

It’s Friday the 13th again! If I recall correctly last month the 13th was also Friday! In honor of Friday the 13th I’m posting some of my favorite Alice Cooper song lyrics! His song “Man Behind the Mask” can be heard at the end of Friday the 13th part 6″ and Alice sings amazing other songs as well, most of which are very dark, about mental illness, insanity, stalking, homicide and being suicidal. Many of his songs are inspired by his real life, his own experiences, people he met. He struggled with alcoholism and mental health conditions. I loved him since I was a little girl and his is the only concert I ever been to! I saw him a few years ago when he came to NJ! ❤ 

I don’t think there’s one song by him I don’t love! I usually don’t like songs about violence but his, I can’t accept because he’s Alice! Lol

He doesn’t actually promote violence, he even has a couple songs bringing awareness to violence against women. He just likes to sing about creepy and horror stuff.

Lol

Here are some of the song lyrics I love so much! 

“Now maybe someday
The sun’s gonna shine
Flowers will bloom
And all will be fine” ~ Alice Cooper (Pick Up the Bones)

This is a very dark and sad song but it has this small sliver if hope in it.

“I may be lonely but I’m never alone.” ~ Alice Cooper (I Never Cry) 

No matter how lonely we can sometimes be, we aren’t really alone. 

“Small town debutantes and queens
Every woman has a name
Cocktail waitresses with dreams
Every woman has a name
And every girl who’s loves survives
A broken heart to stay alive
You signed your picture in the frame
Every woman has a name” ~ Alice Cooper (Every Woman Has a NAME)

I love this song! It’s about how every woman is someone. Someone important, no matter what her life is like or what her job (or no job) is, rich or poor, waitress, housewife, or debutante, no matter how broken she is. Every woman has a name. ❤ 

“While you’re in work I’m alone
In your room, on your bed and you’ll never know
I like to go through your things
The touch, the smell, the joy it brings
I know where you live
I know where you hide
I know what keeps you alive
I know where you go
I know who you know
I know where your spending your nights” ~ Alice Cooper (Prologue / I Know Where You Live)

This is just a creepy song about a stalking serial killer. 

“She’s not perfect
She’s all mine
She can’t sing or dance
She ain’t got a chance
But baby, I don’t mind” ~ Perfect 

I love it! He sings about how his girl can’t sing or dance or do much of anything well, she’s not perfect but she’s perfect to him! 

“But you and me ain’t no movie stars. 
What we are is what we are. 
We share a bed, 
Some lovin’, 
And TV, yeah. 
That’s enough for a workin’ man. 
What I am is what I am. 
And I tell you, sweetheart 
That’s just enough for me.” ~ Alice Cooper (You and Me)

Beautiful song! Him and his love aren’t any big movie stars and their life is very simple, he just goes to work and comes home and watches tv and eats popcorn with his sweetheart, but it’s good enough for him. So sweet! 

(me at a haunted attraction for Halloween)

“This quiet place
It ain’t so new to me
It’s haunted atmosphere
Has heard so many scream
My home from home
My twilight zone
My strangest dream
My confidant
I have confessed my life
The Quiet Room
Knows more about me than my wife”~ Alice Cooper (The Quiet Room)

This song is so heartbreaking but it’s one of my favorites! He’s in a mental hospital, locked in the quiet room (a solitary room in a mental hospital for people who are freaking out or are a threat to themselves or others) and he’s suicidal and is singing to his wife. He doesn’t know how long he has been gone and he’s remembering his life at home, his lawn, his house, and the life he had with his wife. It’s so sad it gives me chills and I can relate so much.

“The city streets are wet with rain tonight
Taxi drivers swerve from lane to lane
A lonely guitar man playin’ down the hall
Midnight blues comin’ through the walls
I tried to call you on the telephone
I left it off the hook
Just to hear it ring
You told me you were better off alone
I never knew that tears could sting” ~ Alice Cooper (Might As Well Be on Mars)

Another wistful song full of heartache and longing. The person he is in love with doesn’t want to see/talk to him right now and this person is so physically close to him,yet he can’t get close enough. I love the beautiful imagery. 

“Baby, I could have been someone
I could have been something
It would have been nothing to die for you
Baby, you’re going to need me
You’d better believe me
It would have been easy to die for you” ~ Alice Cooper (Die for You)

 His unconditional love is so obvious in this song! Dying for this person would be so easy to him. 

“Bullets repel off my medals
And my men are in awe when I speak
All chaos my strategy settles
My mere presence gives strength to the weak
For me it seems really alarming
I’m really just only a man
With five million sheep in this army
I seem to be the only one fit to command” ~ Alice Cooper (You’re a Movie)

This is a song about extreme self confidence. Very uplifting and inspiring!  

“Now I’ve seen class, I’ve seen tact
I’ve seen ’em walking down the street with smoke in their stacks
And pouring into limos, they wake up in millionaires’ bedrooms
I’ve seen their hair cut short, black and sleek
Tied in 20 thousand knots so ultra neat
Swearing by the Harper’s Bazaar, like it equalled the Bible
But you look good in rags
With dirt in your hair
Yeah you look good in rags babe
Aw, I don’t care
Yeah Yeah, you look good
Oh you look good in rags
With dirt in your hair
Ah yeah, you look good in anything
Forget about Vogue or them hundred dollar jeans,
You make a 2 dollar T-shirt obscene.” ~ Alice Cooper (You Look Good in Rags)

Girl is so sexy she looks great in rags and dirty hair! Lol

Here is the desktop link to “He’s Back”
Video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEPwzzjkp-o&app=desktop

Mobile link:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GEPwzzjkp-o&persist_app=1&app=m

Here’s another video for one of his songs/

Mobile:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LERBv5DSuEc

Desktop:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&persist_app=1&v=LERBv5DSuEc

In this video he’s in a mental hospital writing to his wife about how he misses her and wants their life back and about how he messed up and he gets out and runs home to her to find an ambulance taking her away, she overdosed on alcohol.

So, here are some of my favorite songs! A mixture of hope, inspiration, despair, depression, amusement, darkness, and all!

I hope you’re having a great day! I’m watching “Friday the 13th part 8” with my mom and sister. Jason takes Manhattan!

Xoxo Kim 😀

Perfectly Imperfect <3

Everyone must know by now, of my love for Alice Cooper.   And here is another post dedicated to him and one of his lovely songs.

It’s called “Perfect.”.  He is singing about how his girl is not perfect but to him, she is.   She doesn’t have many skills, she can’t sing or dance.   He acknowledges this and loves her just the same.

“She’s an overnight sensation
In the mirror on her wall
She gets a standing ovation
At every shower curtain call

And she becomes a pop star
In the safety of her car
And then she falls to pieces
At the karaoke bar”

It’s all good when no one is watching and the lights are low but as soon as she has a large audience, look out! 😉 lol

“And she’s perfect
Until the lights go on
And then it all goes wrong
‘Cause now she’s not so perfect

She can shake it just like J-Lo
When the bedroom lights go down
But when she hits the dance floor
She’s a hip-hop hippo clown.”

Lmao this is hilarious.

“She’s not perfect
She’s all mine
She can’t sing or dance
She ain’t got a chance
But baby, I don’t mind

She’s perfect
Oh, she’s perfect
Ah, she’s so perfect
You know, she’s so perfect
Ah, ah, ah

Sing baby
Dance, dance, dance
You got it
Shake it down
Oh, that’s bad
That’s bad
I love you baby
That’s just awful
You got it
You got it”

Just beautiful! 

Not only is this just a great song with a sweet tune, it conveys a perfect message. Not everyone will be perfect but we can love and accept those people just as they are.  Look how encouraging Alice is.  He’s supporting her every move even though she sucks at it.  Lol

All the people we know and love probably have some “imperfection” but so what?  We can love, cherish, and accept, always.

And if you can’t sing or dance, sing and dance anyway!  Singing and dancing like an idiot, it’s fun!! ;-D

It it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing badly.

Here is the mobile link to the song which may or may not work for you, I’m using my phone.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RAZF4SKDLh0&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DRAZF4SKDLh0&sa=X&ei=2IxVUoj-Cbb94AOvoICADw&ved=0CAsQqwQ

Xoxo Kim

Livin’ might mean takin’ chances but they’re worth takin’ – One Year <3

“What I am well that’s what I am.
I tell you, baby,
That’s just enough for me.”  ~ Alice Cooper

“I choose to fight back! I choose to rise, not fall! I choose to live, not die! And I know, I know that what’s within me is also within you.” ~ (Mayor John Pappas, City Hall movie quote)

Hello, lovelies,

Here is something I can’t believe I’m writing today. I never thought I would live to see today.  
Never in my wildest dreams. I feel a tingling in my wrists.

Almost everyone who knows me knows of my super long battle with severe, suicidal depression. I have suffered with long term mild/moderate depression for much of my life with recurrent severe, despairing, debilitating  long episodes of depression and psychosis on top of that. Day after day, year after year.

My entire life has been consumed by severe, agonizing depression, in a vicious way. And I won’t sugar coat it or butter it up. I was suicidal almost every day for nearly fourteen years. I fantasized, obsessed, planned, contemplated, attempted…in various degrees ending my own life.  Some days I thought I wanted to die but really I just wanted to end the pain, not everything. But many days I did want to die. Not just to end the pain or to find solace but to end my life, everything, good & bad alike. Everything.   It wasn’t always relief I was longing for. Not a purpose I was searching for. Not changes or a better life. Just my own death. It was that bad.

Many days I even had great self esteem, I liked myself, loved myself even, had no problems, everything was beautiful.   But I wanted to be dead. I had no idea why. And when I would try to analyze myself to understand why, I would become even more suicidal. As I have mentioned, there are different degrees of feeling suicidal or thinking of it. It has chemical underpinnings and attitude/environment/circumstance can contribute to it. Sometimes it’s just purely chemical.

Telling people doesn’t faze me. When I’m currently dangerously suicidal I don’t tell people usually, out if fear of being put away.

But I will tell people about the vicious darkness that has consumed me. And I will tell people about Hope & Healing.

I’m not embarrassed by this disease and it’s not pretty but I won’t conceal it. I spent hours upon hours a day for many years just fantasizing about ending my life, I have come so close on many occasions when fear would stop me, fear that it wouldn’t work and I would just be sick, injured, or paralyzed…

I have experienced “black outs” where I would “come to” and find myself in the process of ending my life without realizing I was doing this at first or consciously knowing how I got there.

Some days I would be happy but still have hours of despair in the middle.

I was never able to go more than four months without being suicidal or thinking about it to some degree, mostly though, I couldn’t even go a few days without it.

I tried different things, various medications, dosages, therapists, psychiatrists, hospitalizations, self-help, personal development techniques…until I found the combination that works best for me. Not a cure but ways to heal & cope.

I am generally very happy now.  But I still struggle with the severe episodes.   Not as frequently or as long usually But they still occur. I still struggle with horrifying Psychotic breaks. 

But today is October 1st. My last serious/semi serious suicidal thought/urge was one year ago, October 2012. I cannot remember the exact day. But I know it was in October. Since then I have experienced excruciating episodes of despair, depression, psychosis but I kept hope alive. Knowing it will end and the sun will rise again. 

Medication helps keep me stabilized so I can work on myself in other ways to care for me. I can’t say I’m recovered and don’t know if I will ever be. But I learned to live with it and to cope. 

I have been struggling for the last few days, feeling an episode coming on. I learned to usually detect impending episodes and be able to prevent a full blown one by monitoring and consciously changing my thinking and actions.

But it’s so hard. I keep feeling suicidal thoughts trying to emerge, not just brief, fleeting ones, but ones that I will begin to entertain and dwell on. Over a year ago they would have taken over by now. But somehow now I am managing keeping them at bay.

 I know some of my triggers but it’s not always triggered by something necessarily, sometimes it just comes out of nowhere.

Last night while I laid it bed, I wanted to let it just have me, have its way with me and succumb to depression and those suicidal thoughts trying to creep into me. It takes energy and motivation that I just don’t always have or feel like working on. Sometimes I don’t even want to.

This is more than just a low mood but it’s not a full blown episode.   I still haven’t had one of those suicidal thoughts.   Something keeps me going. I keep feeling so hopeful then hopeless then hopeful then hopeless. Then hopeful again. 

I keep telling myself after all this, I won’t let myself succumb.   One year is a big accomplishment for me. Those thoughts and urges were so much an integral part of me for well over a decade that it’s incredible to think I finally lived a year without them.  And because of work I did for myself.  This thing has symptoms that must be managed just like other illnesses. It flares up every now & then. It comes & goes. It’s more bullshit than I could have ever wanted to put up with. I’m sorry. {not sorry}.  

Ever since I was a young girl I kept wishing over and over and over (on the rare occasions I wasn’t wanting to be dead) that I could go one year without those suicidal thoughts & urges but I never saw it happening. Until now. Yup, mind=blown. Lol

Depression, psychosis, suicide contemplation are traumatic. All of it. Even recovery or remission is traumatic. It’s weird.   It’s beautiful. It’s freaky.   It’s unfathomable.  Not having those thoughts day in and day out.

And I never get used to it. Every second of every day, almost, I realize how amazing it is to not only be alive but to actually want to be alive.   To be happy in general. To have a strong will and desire to live.

I am overwhelmed.   When I’m in immense physical pain or sickness and it goes away, I have this amazing feeling, a conscious awareness of not being sick or in pain.   But after a while I usually go back to no longer being aware of it, consciously. I get used to it again.

But not this.

This, this never gets old. Not being in an almost constant state of depression, not having thoughts and urges to kill myself everyday all throughout the day, it never gets old. Even after a year, I am almost always conscious of it.

So much zest. So much life. So much passion.

I still get depressed.   I get angry, sad, unhappy. I can be ungrateful and bitchy some occasions.   But in general, I am the happiest girl in the whole USA! Lol ;-D

As I sit here writing this, I feel so many emotions swirling through me. I feel pain, sorrow, and grief, love, gratitude, happiness, confusion, loneliness, elation, heartbreak, and hope. So much hope.

Sometimes when I think back to all my days of horrifying despair & depression & psychosis and I see where I am now, I feel inspired. I see how much I have evolved, I see my growth & all my lessons learned. I have come a long, long way.  But other occasions, thinking back to those days of agony when my depression was so ingrained into me and threaded throughout all my life, I feel drained, horrified at the mere memories. Now I feel a mixture of all those things.

Pain is real.   But so is hope.

I want anyone who is feeling hopeless about anything at all whether it’s something seemingly serious or something which seems trivial to know that thoughts and feelings and perspectives change.  It may take work and it may not change right this second but you won’t be sad forever. Hold on, you got this. 

Look where I was & look where I am. Look at me now! 😀

“Livin’ might mean takin’ chances but they’re worth takin’,
Lovin’ might be a mistake but it’s worth makin’,
Don’t let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to sellin’ out reconsider” ~ LeeAnn Womack

Go on, take chances. Live. Love. Maybe loving will be a mistake and you will be crushed, abandoned, rejected, ignored, devastated, not loved back…but love anyway. Live anyway. 

Love doesn’t ask for changes, it doesn’t ask for favors or to be loved back, love doesn’t demand someone to think or feel or act a certain way. Love simply loves.

“You can be greater than anything that can happen to you. ” ~ Norman Vincent Peale. 

“I am 99.9% sure it will never get better. But it’s the 0.1% that keeps me going. ” ~ Unknown

“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” -Winston Churchill

“If we weren’t all crazy we would go insane” ~ Jimmy Buffett

“Come Monday, it’ll be alright.” ~ Jimmy Buffett. (Jimmy Buffett mentioned that he wrote this song in a C.A. Hotel room when he was suicidal and it saved his life.& I am so thankful. ❤ .)

“For all those who don’t feel as old as they are and never will

I rounded first never thought of the worst
As I studied the shortstops position
Crack went my leg like the shell of an egg
Someone call a decent physician
Im no pete rose, I can’t pretend
Though my mind is quite flexible, these brittle bones don’t bend

Im growing older but not up
My metabolic rate is pleasantly stuck
Let those winds of time blow over my head
Id rather die while Im living than live while Im dead” ~Jimmy Buffett 

“Pour me somethin’ tall and strong
Make it a hurricane before I go insane
It’s only half past twelve, but I don’t care
It’s five o’clock somewhere

I could pay off my tab
Pour myself in a cab and be back to work before 2
At a moment like this, I can’t help but wonder
What would Jimmy Buffett do?

Jimmy Buffett spoken:
Funny you should ask, Alan
I’d say
Pour me somethin’ tall and strong
Make it a hurricane before I go insane
It’s only half past twelve, but I don’t care

Pour me somethin’ tall and strong
Make it a hurricane before I go insane
It’s only half past twelve, but I don’t care
He don’t care
And I don’t care
It’s five o’clock somewhere

Jimmy: What time zone am I on?
What country am I in?

Alan: It doesn’t matter

It’s five o’clock somewhere

Jimmy: It’s always on five in Margaritaville, come to think of it

Alan: I heard that

Jimmy: You’ve been there haven’t you?

Alan: Yes, Sir

Jimmy: I’ve seen your boat there

Alan: I’ve been to Margaritaville a few times

Jimmy: All right.
That’s good

Alan: Stumbled my way back

Jimmy: OK Just want to make sure you can keep it between the
navigational beacons

Alan: Between the buoys.
I got it

Jimmy: All right.

It’s five o’clock.
Let’s go somewhere

Alan: I’m ready.
Crank it up

Jimmy: Let’s get out of here

Alan: I’m gone” ~ Alan Jackson/Jimmy Buffett

This song never fails to uplift me.
And this one:

“Well you know those times when you feel like
There’s a sign there on your back
That says I don’t mind if you kick me, seems like everybody has
Things go from bad to worse
You think it can’t get worse than that
And then they do

You step off the straight and narrow
And you don’t know where you are
Used the needle of your compass, to sew up your broken heart
Ask directions from a genie in a bottle of jim beam
And she lies to you
That’s when you learn the truth

If you’re goin’ through hell keep on going
Don’t slow down if you’re scared don’t show it
You might get out before the devil even knows you’re there

I’ve been deep down in that darkness
I’ve been down to my last match
Felt a hundred different deamons breathin’ fire down my back
And I knew that if I stumbled I’d fall right into the trap
That they were layin’

But the good news is there’s angels everywhere out on the street
Holdin’ out a hand to pull you back up on your feet
The one’s that you’ve been draggin’ for so long
You’re on your knees might as well be prayin’
Guess what I’m sayin’

If you’re goin’ through hell keep on going” Rodney Atkins 

“I may be lonely but I’m never alone.” ~ Alice Cooper

” I fearlssly walk into battle
With a shine on my boots and my teeth
Never flinch, never blink, never rattle
My blood is like ice underneath

Oh, I’m the reincarnation of patten
And I’ve got Hannibal’s heart in my chest
God told me I would have rivaled
Alexander the great at his best.” ~ Alice Cooper

”
But you and me ain’t no movie stars.
What we are is what we are.
We share a bed,
Some lovin’,
And TV, yeah.
And that’s enough for a workin’ man.
What I am is what I am.
And I tell you, babe,
Well that’s enough for me.” ~ Alice Cooper

Good day to you all.
P.s. This auto correct on my phone is more insane than I am, constantly changing words to weird things, even changing words to completely different words & bizarre symbols out of nowhere and spelling correct words incorrectly. Luckily I usually catch it before hitting send but occasionally I don’t and am embarrassed if I am writing to someone I don’t know well. The worst is when it changes a word to a different version. It changes “their” to “they’re” so embarrassing! Lol. It recently changed “unfazed” to “phased”! Seriously?! Shit’s off the walls! Thanks auto correct! Thanks a lot, I just love being mortified! It wrote this one day “jesus_20267475.html”. I saved it to show people. Lol I wrote some ordinary word and auto correct deleted it and wrote that thing! Whhhaatt?! Yup, my phone has lost its marbles! I guess we’re made for each other.

 ;-D. Remember, when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.

Blue skies ahead.

Hope lives here.

Another day, another victory <3

So, I really love Alice Cooper. A real real lot!! I have loved him & his music since I was a little girl. He sings creepy, bizarre, sad, dark, despairing music. Often about depression, psychosis, sometimes about being suicidal, in a mental hospital, personality disorders, mental illness, serial killing, death, being in prison in a wedding dress & wonder bra (lmao) , waking up not knowing who he is or where he is, being criminally insane, alcoholism, and he sings about love. If you read my description here it may make him seem like an “emo” singer like in the typical emo music way. Be he’s not. His songs are more “strange” than “Depressive emo”.  Some of them are even funny, often in a twisted way.
His songs aren’t the typical “whiney”, “feel sorry for me/myself” emo music.

His is the first concert I have ever attended. I was 26 years old. It was amazing!!!!
My general favorite kind of music is Oldies & happy love songs – romantic & friendship songs, inspirational, uplifting songs about gratitude, love, self love, strength & hope, perseverance. Very different than many of Alice Cooper’s songs. But I love every single one of his songs. I love his incredible ability to take the dark side of life and turn it into something beautiful.   I even wrote a poem about it before, how he takes darkness & pain and transforms it to musical, lyrical beauty.   So inspiring.  A true gift. 
Life is a mixture of good & bad and he acknowledges & addresses the dark side.

Alice Cooper himself has struggled with & tackled the dark side. He was treated for alcoholism. Many of his songs are inspired by true events of his own life & people he has met, some in an institution he was treated in.

This post is about one of his songs which I find to be extremely uplifting, incredibly motivational & inspirational. It’s funny too & just amazing. It’s called “You’re A Movie”.

“I fearlessly walk into battle
With a shine on my boots and my teeth
Never flinch, never blink, never rattle
My blood is like ice underneath

Oh, I’m the reincarnation of patten
And I’ve got Hannibal’s heart in my chest
God told me I would have rivaled
Alexander the great at his best”

He sings about his unstoppable attitude, his courage, his strength.

“Bullets repel off my medals
And my men are in awe when I speak
All chaos my strategies settles
My mere presence gives strength to the weak”

Very, very confident attitude. So confident and full of courage and strong that strength flows through his very presence into those who are not as strong & confident. Can you say ABSOLUTELY AMAZING?!?!

When he says “Bullets repel off my medals” he’s revealing that he has medals for doing great things and when he is the target of bullets, his great medals protect him against being hurt. This can be taken as a metaphor for life. Your attitude, your positive traits, your self assurance & confidence are your medals and when people toss vicious words or toxic criticism at you or when life hands you unpleasant circumstances, let them all bounce off your greatness, your medals. Those things are the bullets Alice speaks of.

“For me it seems really alarming
I’m really just only a man
With five million sheep in this army
I seem to be the only one fit to command”

He’s just an ordinary man but an ordinary man can do extraordinary things with the right attitude, views, & actions.

“I must go now and save the world

Move aside mere drop of water, let the ocean pass”
Lol he has a BIG attitude. 

“Another day, another victory. 

Another gold stripe, another star

Really quite boring sometimes
I wish they’d send someone equal to my strategies

What a guy
I’m really quite a guy” 

He makes being amazing & heroic seem so easy. “Another Day, Another Victory. “

Every single day is an accomplishment to him. “Just another day being my fantastic self!” lol! 

What if you possessed this attitude every day? Imagine that! Waking up so confident that you feel you can take on or accomplish or work towards anything you please. This song seems to be about war but it can be applied to life in general.

I feel so energized when I listen to this or read the lyrics. 

The next moment you feel low or lacking confidence or courage when you really need it, remember this song. Think of the funny, silly, but very valuable & important lyrics.

He’s full of himself! But in a good way! Lol. An inspiring way! ;-D

So take his message to heart. Go conquer & save the world!   😀

Much love, hope, strength, courage, & self confidence to you!

Xoxo Kim