Tag Archive | attitude

Motivation❤

When I saw this today, I was instantly inspired. This quote is referring to the sport of running but can apply to any routine, sport, hobby…we engage in or would like to. Anything we want to make a habit or way of life, if we practice enough with no excuses, it will eventually became as natural or ingrained as breathing or brushing our teeth each day. Some examples are exercise routine, gratitude journaling, meditation, even things that may seem easier or more simple such as just taking a few minutes out each day to breathe or listen to uplifting music. It can be difficult and takes self discipline, patience, willpower, serious motivation….to develop even simple positive habits and stick with them enough until they become ingrained or “second nature.”

In this quote, the person mentions after “many long years,” we get to the mentality where we “just have to.” Being tired, raining out, freezing cold, too much other stuff to do….doesn’t matter. Whatever our goal is, is what has to be done. But we don’t even have to have been practicing for many years to get to “I just have to.” Even if we just set a goal today, we have to stick with it if it’s a serious goal of ours. We just have to. That’s how we get to the “many long years.”

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

This reminds me of another quote I come across now & again, I don’t remember the exact words but it’s about how there will never be “perfect conditions” or a “perfect time” to begin or do something. There will always be some excuse we can come up with for procrastinating. It will be cold or hot or raining or we will be tired or have too much to do or be hungry or maybe have a bit of a common cold…but none of this matters. These things are “beside the point.” They don’t matter.

Bloom where you’re planted.

If you have any goals/dreams, whether they are new or old and whether you have just begun or been practicing for months or years, keep going!! Even if it’s not always easy, it’s always worth it! It doesn’t matter if it’s raining or it’s cold or we’re tired….just keep it moving and love the journey that is leading to something wonderful!❤

Hugs! & Much love & light,

Xoxo Kim

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Welcome to rock bottom -the only way now is UP

“Face to face, out in the heat

Hanging tough, staying hungry

They stack the odds still we take to the street

For the kill with the skill to survive”🐯

Eye of the Tiger – Survivor

Here is a post I wrote a couple days ago and just edited it a bit.

“Welcome to Rock Bottom

One day, after another routinely dreadful morning, I sat in my car looking at our office and thinking, ‘I DO NOT want to go in there. I hate my job. I can’t stand Frank. I don’t make enough money. I am so underutilized! Should I leave the company? Would I even be missed? What’s the point of all this anyway? Is this really my life? This can’t be my life.’ And there it was. I had finally reached it—I was at rock bottom. As I mentioned, I believe rock bottom is the moment when you finally find the power and the strength you’ve always been lacking to change your today and go on to create a better tomorrow. I knew I couldn’t get any lower, and at that moment, I realized that all of the training, coaching, reading, and inspiring I’d engaged in just a few years earlier had not disappeared completely. I started to sense something deep within. There was still a tiny spark of hope that things could get better. That internal spark was like a smothered flame that just needed a little air, and as soon as I realized the spark was there, it was as if someone poured kerosene on it. I started to think: ‘If my circumstances won’t change, maybe I can change the way I look at my circumstances, and maybe as a result, they actually WILL change.'”

These are wise words by Kevin Clayson, author of Flip the Gratitude Switch. I have experienced “rock bottom” before, just like he mentions here, where it’s like I just can’t get any lower, so desperate, plummeting to the lowest depths of my despair, until I can’t possibly sink any lower. Pulled deeper and deeper and deeper into some dark, seemingly endless abyss when finally I realize there is an end. And I have reached it.

What do we do when our world is crumbling on top of us, when everything shatters, when it’s hard to stand, so difficult just to live & breathe, and we are pulled so low we can’t go any lower?

We rise.

Usually when I have experienced this “rock bottom,” it’s with depression and sometimes when my chronic physical pain disorder is flaring up to what seems like unbearable levels and my body is wracked in physical agony beyond belief. The only way I can get lower when I’m like this, is to be put in the ground. I haven’t experienced these things in a long while. My physical pain disorder has been doing so well. I have been experiencing mild to no pain each & every day. Thanking my lucky stars! And I can’t even remember when I was last depressed! I’m so happy!

But it’s true, this morning I realized I have hit “rock bottom.” A different kind of rock bottom. Not depression of any kind or physical pain. But still I have found my self in a very low place in this life. Two months ago, I think it was, October, I wasn’t depressed or in physical pain but was in Hell everyday for a couple weeks. It ended for a while and now is back!🙊😱

This Hell I speak of is fear. Terror. Not just a bit of anxiety. Fullblown fear. It’s not fear in general but about a specific thing. As I mentioned here, in a post titled Serendipitous Strength, I used to be deathly afraid of being closed in small places that I can’t just get out of the second I want to, especially elevators and especially when I’m alone. I have been this way for as long as I can remember. Why is a mystery. As a child, I had breakdowns going on elevators even with my mom & dad.

I healed myself. It is an incredible accomplishment and awe-inspiring. The fact that I had a relapse doesn’t matter. It doesnt change how incredible it is. I healed this fear once and can and will heal it again.

I never worked on this fear specifically but during my personal development journey, my quest to find healing, working on myself to help heal my depression and cope with tmjd “cluster headaches” without realizing it, I was conquering my fear of being closed in. With my personal development plan I teach myself and train my brain to know I can handle and conquer anything. To know I will always be free no matter what position I’m in in this life. To know life is a gift no matter what. To see positivity and opportunity in any situation no matter how dreadful. I trained my brain with meditation and quotes and music and songs and writing to stay calm and composed for the most part, in any situation no matter what, no matter how painful physically or emotionally. (Out of my post Serendipitous Strength)

The #1 one thing that helps me with my fear is my Buddhist studies, not even just meditation but the writings I read even when I don’t put them into practice as intended. Just the reads are so powerful. All of these other things, quotes, songs, basic mindfulness…, helped me to a great extent, with depression & chronic pain and when I found Kadampa Buddhism, I found deeper healing and healing for this fear.

Somewhat recently, I suffered a relapse and my old fear returned to me with a vengeance. The second the elevator doors close and I’m on there alone, my first thought is “I’m screwed” and a sense of panic arises.

For work, I sometimes have to get on elevators. For about ten months I had to seven days a week, mostly by myself. Thankfully my fear was healed. But in a fraction of a second, while on an elevator, by myself, I suffered a relapse. I made the mistake of watching the numbers go up and waiting for the doors to open and you know when we watch & wait, a second feels like forever. I felt the doors took a second longer than usual to open and that’s all it took to bring that breath-taking fear crashing back into me. Flooded with terror, when the door finally opened, I stumbled into the hallway, trembling inside & out, legs like jelly, dizzy, panicked.

And my fear has been with me since then. I no longer have to be on an elevator every single day anymore and that may be part of the problem. I’m no longer accustomed to it and no longer have that chance to practice being calm on an elevator everyday. Now with those two things, the relapse & being out of touch with elevators, I nearly fall to pieces when I have to get on one by myself. I’m not scared anymore if I’m on an elevator with a dog or a human.

What if the elevator malfunctions while I’m on there myself and I’m trapped inside a box for who knows how long? My worst nightmare. I know I can handle it. My conviction is strong. But I don’t always feel that I can handle it. My conviction never falters. I know anyone can handle anything if we train our brain and adjust our attitude. But sometimes I focus too much on the feeling of not being able to handle it. And i fear if i get trapped, I will become a blubbering wreck and never recover. Two or more weeks away and when I think of it, my head is in turmoil.

(Photo not mine)

I am not someone who curses a lot out loud, in writing, or in my head. It’s not that I think it’s wrong. I love when people curse a lot. Lol It’s just not me. But early, this morning I was walking up a street thinking about how in a few weeks I will be required to get onto an elevator(the doors for staircases in some buildings open to get outside but are locked on the outside to get upstairs so elevators are generally required), most likely alone, and everyday for at least a week, and how I’m going to be living & breathing fear, I’m going to be a total wreck in my head, just like two months ago, and I just thought Fuck this shit. Seriously, fuck it. I am done. Not done with life or with work. I am done being conquered by this fear. So done. And I realized I have hit rock bottom two months ago and am still here now. And I remembered Mr. Clayson’s story about how rock bottom is our opportunity to rise above. I will rise above this fear. I will conquer it.

How? I’m not quite sure but I know I will. I will discipline my brain. And I have a few things in mind. More intensive Dharma practice & gratitude practice, The Work, rhythmic breathing, desensitization…

There is no place for this fear. I don’t want it and I won’t have it. I don’t have to accept it because it can be changed. Two months ago I found it difficult to focus on anything other than this fear. I spilled coffee all over because my hands were trembling, My legs were shaky and I was lightheaded. After getting off an elevator, it took me so long to recover, those mornings & nights. Outside I probably looked a bit shaken up but inside, I was wrecked. (I did face my fear and kept getting on elevators though, {BY MYSELF, ALONE!!!, ME!!! On an elevator ALONE!!! Whhhaaattt?! Holy guacamole!} which is a display of great strength & courage. I did what I had to do while not repressing my fear) I felt that I couldn’t even stand up straight each day.

This is unacceptable and I will change it. Whatever it takes. I will not avoid elevators and will not put up with this terror. And there’s no place for it in my world. It’s not welcome here and I do not have to accept it.

I healed my fear mostly with Buddhist philosophy. And I will again. This is the main thing that brought me so much deep healing and I know without a doubt, it will again. I just have to concentrate.

Recently, I received a Dorje Shugden Empowerment and I am totally counting on it (& my previous Empowerments) helping me cope with & heal this fear.

Om vajra wiki witrana söha.

OM AH RA PA TSA NA DHI

Just like Mr. Clayson shares in the excerpt above, it can feel like all our previous strength, wisdom, personal development is down the drain, but it’s not. Somewhere deep inside, there is strength, wisdom, courage even if it seems to be long gone or seems like we never had any to begin with.

What I am promoting here is not necessarily any specific techniques like gratitude, meditation, conscious breathing or philosophy like Buddhist philosophy, though I do generally promote those. Here, I am just suggesting that we rise above our fear, pain, struggles…and keep going. Keep moving up. Pro-act. Let’s not sink to the bottom and stay there. Do something. Whatever it takes. Whether it’s professional help, meditation, personal development books, exercise, gratitude practice…find something, do something, and just keep going.

(Photo not mine)

It can be done. I did this before and if you are reading this now, so can you. I was able to make the choice to face a fear so powerful that I feel it can drive me insane, like I will lose all sense of language and awareness…, face it & conquer it and completely overcome it. Whatever your issue is, grief, fear, depression, addiction of any sort or something that may seem less serious…you can face it and overcome it. It’s not the problem itself that is actually the problem; it’s how we attach to it, perceive it, view it, react to it…and we have a choice to change that.

“I choose to FIGHT BACK! I choose to RISE, not fall! I choose to LIVE, not die! And I know, I know that what’s within me is also WITHIN YOU.”

We can & we will.

I am here cheering you on right along with cheering myself on. I have a lot of work to do and it’s every bit worth it. Keep going.

“When you’re at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hold on!!”

Much love & light & strength to you,

Xoxo Kim❤

P.s Elevators are the worst invention in the history of ever!!! I have a few choice words for the inventor! Blahhh!!!

FLIP the gratitude switch

“There is success embedded in every failure.
Without gratitude, failure is nothing more than disappointment.
There is joy embedded in despair.
Without gratitude, despair is nothing more than a hole left unfilled.
There is hope embedded in tragedy. Without gratitude, tragedy is nothing more than loss of hope.
There is healing embedded in pain. Without gratitude, pain is simply unnecessary.
There is a new beginning embedded in every ending.
Without gratitude, endings are always final.”

Found this in a book by Kevin Clayson. FLIP the Gratitude Switch How empowering! I am naturally positive & optimistic but it’s definitely good to have reminders sometimes and work to strengthen that natural positive disposition!

In every situation we can experience, there is something to be thankful for. Even if the experience itself doesn’t seem to have a bright side, there is something good we can give thanks for in the midst of it or we can allow the terrible, or merely unpleasant, experience to inspire us to do good for others. For example, if we have a difficult disability or illness, or other painful experience, we can reach out to others in similar situations and be a source of comfort & light, as we know just what it’s like. If we lose someone to an illness or other tragedy, we can support organizations that promote awareness or treatment/cures/support….for those struggling with the illness or whatever it may be, & their family/friends. If we hear about a massacre in the news, we can make the decision to donate blood, platelets, power red….if we are eligible, not just for those in that massacre but for people in general who may need it(every 56 days we can donate BLOOD if we want & keep someone else ALIVE!).

(Redcrossblood.org)

Let horrific and other difficult things inspire us to act in love & gives thanks for the opportunities. 💗

We can bring positivity into a place where there seems to be none, even if just in our head. A shift in attitude.

The not so good experience can be something severe like chronic pain, depression, grief & loss or something seemingly small & trivial next to those things like a flat car tire, spilling something on our clothes, stuck in traffic…

At least it’s only a flat tire, not the engine broken, at least we have a car to have a flat tire, give thanks for the ability to get into a car & drive, at least we’re just stuck in traffic & not killed in traffic or in a collision…

This isn’t at all promoting giving thanks that it’s us still alive while someone else isn’t or being relieved that someone else is the unfortunate one. I will never promote that and I don’t believe Mr. Clayson is promoting that either. The point is simply to look at our own situation and see the good in it whatever else is going on. We can all do this. Being thankful for our own goodness isn’t going to hurt others and repressing gratitude out of guilt that we are better off than some, isn’t going to help them at all. So let’s give thanks!

An example I have, which is more on the trivial side but still sucks, is yesterday morning, one of my dogs (one who I take care of for someone, not one of the ones I live with), broke my phone! Oh rats! He’s a very wild boy, doesn’t always listen, & is very strong. He knocks me over when we’re playing! He wasn’t listening to me and he shattered the part of my phone that takes pictures! That’s the last part I want broken, as I love taking pics most days! Oh well.

But instantly, I thought, at least my phone still turns on, the apps still work, I still can take pics, all my info wasn’t lost, it’s so good to have a job working with animals (even when they destroy my stuff!), I’m not sick today…Instead of a stream of negative thoughts like how disappointing, now I have to spend money on a new phone, why couldn’t it have been a different part that broke…I chose to see the good in this situation and just the general good.

Then last night, he jumped into a big puddle, soaking my shoes & socks and wetting my pants. He was all soaked n jumped on me, rubbing his wet face & chest all off on my new hoodie. And the water he jumped in smelled like sour stuff because there was food all dissolved in it.

Of course, I laughed hysterically! It was very uncomfortable, physically but I got a good belly laugh out of it. And’s it’s adorable how he cleaned himself all off on my clothes. 😍 Again, I saw the light in this situation. Any of us can do this on any occasion!

It is important to keep in mind that no matter how unimportant/trivial the unpleasant experience is, this life philosophy applies to it. Each day, many/most/all of us experience minor stresses or annoyances like dropping something, encountering someone we would prefer not to, seeing a post on social media we don’t like,….if we practice FLIPing with these simple things, we will be more equip with skills to cope with more deeply disappointing or devastating things like illness, grief/loss, other more serious situations.

Sometimes it will be easier to see the bright side than others and occasionally, we may have to force it but it can be done even if we have to “fake it til we make it” sometimes. Keep practicing & making the choice to see the good and it will become easier & easier until it’s a way of life.

To keep choosing over & over throughout each day whenever something unpleasant happens, even something very small and trivial like our shoelace untying, all the way up to the horrific & tragic, like someone dying, to give thanks for what is still good, is life-altering, for the better.

Keep making that choice, no matter how difficult it may be, to FLIP that switch & shine light on the goodness! 💖

Much love & light to you, always! 💖

Xoxo Kim

Summer Love♡

Summer is my least favorite season. Excessive heat tends to get me more than any other extreme weather. Also, Summer themes (beach, vacations, bbqs, pools…) just don’t appeal to me as much as Fall & Winter themes (holidays, pumpkins, snow, hot chocolate…). For work, i have to be outside for much of the day, everyday, which can contribute to it being easier to see the unpleasant side of Summer. So I decided to focus on the goodness of Summer and list all the things I love about it!

Here goes!

1.) Waiting for a bus is much easier (in my opinion) when it’s very hot than very cold. It’s hard to be still in bitter cold weather.

2.) It’s often more pleasant to sit in a park on a hot Summer day than a freezing cold Winter day. As I said above, it’s hard to be still when it’s extremely cold. Also, I love the sounds of the birds and people and dogs in the park all around me.

3.) All the beautiful people and animals out & about on a warm Summer day. I love being surrounded by all the living things.

4.) The insects, birds…. I love all the butterflies and fireflies and other beautiful creatures all around.

5.) Walking by cafes and restaurants with outside tables and seeing all the people happy & laughing together.

6.) Flowers & plants & trees with green leaves!

7.) The feel of walking into an air conditioned building after being out in the heat.

8.) The feel of stepping out of a freezing cold air conditioned building into a lovely summer day. The heat feels so welcoming then.

9.) Tropical scents

10.) Gentle summer breezes

11.) Crickets churring at night

12.) Suntans! I love getting a natural tan walking in the sunlight!

13.) Carnivals!

14.) Cold showers

15.) It eventually ends & gives way to Fall! 

 

So here are a few of my favorite things about Summer!!

It’s always great to focus on the bright side. And there’s always a bright side! If not, create one! Think of something you don’t care for or something that just isn’t your favorite then list the good things that still exist about it or the positive things as a result of it. This strengthens our mind to develop or maintain a positive attitude. It’s also so uplifting to list the good.

I hope you are having a beautiful day or night wherever in the world you are! 

Much love & light,

Xoxo Kim


Once in your life you find her…❤

photostudio_1469905890451

Someone who turns your heart around…❤

Best that you can do *Arthur’s Theme* – mobile

Arthur’s Theme – desktop

Recently I watched the movie, Arthur, with my dad, mom, and sister. My dad loves the movie and I have never seen it before recently, though I have always loved the theme song and wanted to see the movie.
It’s a beautiful movie.
Arthur is a man who lives a life of folly and fun, entertained by prostitutes, almost constantly drunk, he never worked a day in his life, his family is financially rich beyond belief. Arthur is to inherit over 8 million dollars!! Eight million! Whoaa!

But he only gets the money if he marries a girl who is a member of another financially rich family. If he refuses, he doesn’t get the money.
He is not in love with the beautiful woman his family demands that he marry so he refuses to marry her. But his dad tells him to kiss his inheritance goodbye and when Arthur finds out just how much money he would have gotten, he decides that he will marry the woman his family insists he marry. It can be kind of hard to resist 8 million dollars! Lol

Then Arthur sees her. Her. The woman of his dreams. A thief and dirt poor who lives at home with her daddy who is very good to her.

Linda is a cutie and full of life. She dresses in vibrant colors and isn’t afraid to speak up. She has a bright light around her. 

Arthur sees her in a store where she is caught stealing a gift for her dad. He comes to her rescue and they have an automatic and beautiful connection.

Unfortunately Arthur is already engaged to a woman he is not in love with.

He keeps meeting up with Linda and realizes it’s her he loves and wants to spend forever with.

Now Arthur is faced with a difficult dilemma. Does he disappoint his family and give up over 8 million dollars or does he choose true love?

I love the messages in the movie. One of them being that love is more valuable than money. 

And another that money does not necessarily bring happiness but doesn’t prevent it either. 

We can be happy being financially rich or poor.

One of my favorite scenes is when Arthur, his grandma, and Linda are all standing together outside and Arthur says he has always been rich but not really happy. Linda says she has always been poor and happy. And Arthur’s grandma says she has always been rich and happy.

I love the deep wisdom the movie conveys here, that money doesn’t make us truly happy but doesn’t prevent it either. And that being poor doesn’t prevent happiness necessarily. It’s about our attitude and choices, not money or material wealth itself. 

Here will be a spoiler if you haven’t seen the movie.

Arthur chooses love and gives up his inheritance. 

But…..

His grandma decides he can have the money anyway!

But…

He decides to refuse it and plans to get a job!
This doesn’t influence Linda to leave him because it’s love she’s committed to, not his money. 

But…

Grandma insists he take the money. She won’t have a member of their family be working class. 

So he takes the money and they all win!

I love the message that it’s not bad or wrong in any way to be financially rich or to desire material things as long as we don’t mistake them for definite channels to true happiness and love.

They can surely bring us a kind of joy we wouldn’t have without them. Of course we’re going to be happy having over 8 million dollars in a way we won’t be happy without it but we can still be just as happy without it.

Various people and things can bring out different kinds and depths of joy and happiness in us that we wouldn’t know without them. But we don’t need them to be happy. They complement us, not complete us.

I noticed that while this movie is full of love & beauty, it’s not a very sappy movie, at least in my opinion. I love sappy movies, songs, and books (but not usually poetry) and wouldn’t have minded it being sappier but it’s not so if you aren’t a fan of sap, you may appreciate it! Some people like love, romance and all but without the lovey dovey cheesy stuff! 

And the theme song is one of my favorite songs ever! I love the songs Christopher Cross sings. They are beautiful and often with a tinge of melancholy or a kind of sadness or somewhat dark beauty. There often seems to me, to be a hint of longing or allusion to some kind of pain or struggle blended in with the stunning beauty. 

“Wake up and she’s still with you
Even though you left her way across town
You’re wonderin’ to yourself
Hey what’ve I found” ❤

His singing voice itself, soft but profound, echoes a kind of melancholy, a haunting beauty, a subtle yearning for something deep, quiet and unspoken, a gentle but passionate quest for something always just out of reach. I feel that beneath the music notes and tender lilt is something, some kind of delicate daydream with the potential to unfold and become reality. It’s inspiring.

Always one of my favorite singers. I am so thankful he sings the theme song for Arthur. ❤

Much love,
Xoxo Kim 

July Sunrise <3

20160708110815

(sunrise with a “color pop” effect on it)

“There’s always a story. It’s all stories, really. The sun coming up every day is a story. Everything’s got a story in it. Change the story, change the world.”~
Terry Pratchett

(I don’t know if this source is correct)

Today I woke up early and watched the sun rise. Beautiful & inspiring & magical as always!  

Isn’t this a sweet quote?! So empowering. If we create positive stories, maintain positive thoughts and attitudes and energy, it will change the world around us and at the very least, our inner world. But our energy, thoughts, actions….have a ripple effect and go out into the larger world for better or worse. Let’s make it better! 😀 ❤

IMG_14174202

Also, thank you for the recent comments! I appreciate them all and will respond soon! ❤ 😀

Much love & light,

xoxo Kim

The power of positive thinking

SECOND BATCH 663 414


“Although extraordinary valor was displayed by the entire corps of Spartans and Thespians, yet bravest of all was declared the Spartan, Dienekes. It is said that on the eve of battle, he was told by a native of Trachis that the Persian archers were so numerous that, their arrows would block out the sun. Dienekes, however, undaunted by this prospect, remarked with a laugh, ‘Good. Then we will fight in the shade.'”

I don’t like wars and other violence but I see much beauty and inspiration in this quote here.

The concept of not giving up when there are obstacles, not to succumb to negative thinking.

There’s almost always a bright side and if not, we can still be positive about it.

Just this strong conviction of mine is liberating and deeply inspiring.

Even when I don’t currently feel it, I always believe it.

We cannot always choose our circumstances or even always choose our emotions at this moment, but we can choose positive thoughts and actions that become a habit or strengthen our already optimistic/positive nature.
We can empower ourself with positivity!

Thank you to anyone who has written me comments recently! I will get to them shortly! I appreciate every single one! I’m at work now working two shifts!

❤ 😀

Much love & light,

xoxo Kim