Tag Archive | book

Terminus {a novel} ❤️

This is a picture I made. It’s a pic of a real cemetery near where I live and I edited it to make it extra creepy. Those are real cemetery stones! It was taken in the daylight and I made it look like night. The apparitions are not real. 🤣

There’s a novel called, “Terminus,” about an angel who falls in love with a human, which is forbidden, according to the spiritual world. He would have to give up being an angel and become human to stay with her, which they don’t encourage in his realm. He meets her in an operating room when her little girl dies on the operating table. He knows the child is going to die and has to show up just before, to escort her soul to the afterlife when it leaves her body. No one in the operating room can see him or knows he’s there except the little girl after her body dies. He stands there as the doctors are working to keep her alive. He sees the crying woman at her daughter’s side and falls in love with her instantly. This is what he thinks when he sees the woman:

“The auburn hair falling over emerald eyes shimmering with tears made her look achingly beautiful.”

He makes the mistake of touching her(it’s a loving, spiritual thing, not a pervy thing lol). She doesn’t understand exactly what happened but she’s suddenly & momentarily filled with joy at the touch of an angel. Then later she meets him again in his human form when she’s s*icidal and recognizes him even though she did not see him in that operating room. The love story is only part of the whole book; it’s a mystery thriller where a few people’s lives are all connected somehow and something big & bad is going to happen if the angel doesn’t stop it. The angel doesn’t know what is going to happen, just that something is, and the woman he’s in love with is meant to die for the greater good but he doesn’t want her to and instead of aiding in her death like he’s meant to, he keeps intervening and saving her life, which is against the rules in his spiritual realm.

Anyway, I want to share a scene in the book I love!

Matthew is a little boy and Riley is his puppy. His puppy gets hit by a car and is dying and the angel, Nick, witnesses and heals the puppy instantly, even though he’s not really allowed. Angels have healing power but are only allowed to use it under certain circumstances. The angel, Nikolai or Nick, is very human-like.

“Matthew fell to his knees, crying. Riley had been hit and was gasping her final breaths—something Nick was all too familiar with. Matthew looked at his puppy, his face all tears and dirt and heart-wrenching despair. ‘I’m sorry, Riley! This is all my fault!’

‘It’s not, Matthew. Not your—’

‘I let her out without me. Oh, Riley…Riley, please don’t die!’ He turned back to Nick. ‘I messed up—I always mess up! That’s why Mommy and Daddy don’t want me.’

‘That’s not true!’

Nick made up his mind. The laws about unassigned healings couldn’t be so inane as to apply to animals. And if they did, he didn’t care. He knelt down and placed his hands around Riley’s head. His entire body tingled with a pulsating light that started from his heart and radiated to his fingertips, which glowed as he pressed them gently against the puppy’s furry brow. He shut his eyes. Connected with Riley’s soul. It surprised him, how deep was the love a puppy felt for her master, how intense the memories. But there they were, strong as any human’s if not stronger. He had to take care not to send too much light into so young a puppy. A tear slid down Nick’s cheek. Joy and sadness.

‘Get up, Riley,’ he whispered. The light left him. The puppy’s breathing returned to normal, and she lifted her head.

‘Riley?’ Matthew’s face was alight with joy and wonder. ‘Riley!’ She rolled to her feet and let out a happy bark. Tail wagging furiously, she leapt into Matthew’s arms and proceeded to bathe his face with puppy kisses. Matthew finally managed to lower her enough to look up at Nick.

‘Wow, mister! That was awesome!’

‘Be careful crossing the street, okay?’

‘Thanks for fixing up Riley. She’s good as new.'” ❤️

Xoxo Kim

Empowering

…your thoughts have far less impact on this world than you would like to think. If you’re willing to be objective and watch all your thoughts, you will see that the vast majority of them have no relevance. They have no effect on anything or anybody, except you. They are simply making you feel better or worse about what is going on now, what has gone on in the past, or what might go on in the future. If you spend your time hoping that it doesn’t rain tomorrow, you are wasting your time. Your thoughts don’t change the rain. You will someday come to see that there is no use for that incessant internal chatter, and there is no reason to constantly attempt to figure everything out. Eventually you will see that the real cause of problems is not life itself. It’s the commotion the mind makes about life that really causes problems.

This is out of a book called Untethered Soul. It is a personal development/spiritual/self-help book. Those are my favorite!

I began reading the book a while ago and it doesn’t hold my interest. Usually when a book interests me, I’m already hooked after the first couple pages but this I can’t seem to get into. So I stopped reading it then started it again then just deleted it. But out of nowhere, the book started stalking me! Lol I began seeing it in person in people’s houses then soon began seeing people sharing it on social media and raving about how incredible it is. So I decided to give it another try. I haven’t given it much of a chance. The first few pages did not resonate with me even after reading them again. And I found it kind of boring. It doesn’t ring my bell. Lol

But I decided to give it another go! It may turn out to be the most inspiring book to me!

This excerpt I shared above is a good one out of this book! It does resonate with me and is very wise!

One thing that can help when our head is full of chatter that serves no purpose is taking a few deep breaths and focusing on each inhalation & exhalation and remember to give our time & energy to things that serve us well. Why give power to thoughts that are useless and negative like wishing things are different than they are? Instead we can choose to engage in productive things like breathing exercises to quiet the mind & calm the body. Just a few minutes of conscious breathing even just once is so powerful.

In case anyone is interested, I think the core message of the book is

To thine own self be true.

But also, it seems to be about going beyond the self.

So that’s interesting!

It’s on amazon Kindle and also there’s a physical copy.

If you read this book already, did you like it? I would love to know!

I hope you are having a beautiful day or night wherever in the world you are!

Xoxo Kim❤

314

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“‘It’s going to happen in three minutes.’ Mark Tapper sat on the edge of his son’s bed and tried to comfort the eight-year-old. He considered calling an ambulance, but he didn’t know if what Jeremy was suffering from qualified as an emergency. He decided to wait for his wife to get home, since she’d be there in just a few minutes anyhow. She’d left work early when the school called, but Mark was able to get to Widowsfield Elementary to pick Jeremy up first. 

‘What’s going to happen in three minutes?’ Mark glanced at the clock on the nightstand that displayed 3:11 on the stomach of a Batman figurine. ‘I told you,’ said Jeremy. The desperation in his voice terrified Mark.

 ‘The Skeleton Man’s coming.’ 

‘I don’t know what that means, kiddo. Help me out here.’ Mark tried to wipe sweat from his boy’s brow, but Jeremy jerked away as if frightened by contact. ‘Who’s this Skeleton Man you keep talking about?’ 

‘He’s coming, and then everyone’s going to go crazy. Dad, I don’t want to kill you again.’

 The statement was more than a little disconcerting. Mark stood up and put his hands on his head in exasperation as he stared down at his quivering child. He’d tried to stay calm through all of his son’s outbursts, but he couldn’t take it anymore.

 ‘That does it. Mom can meet us at the hospital. Do you think you can walk, or do you want me to call an ambulance?’ This manic episode confounded the school nurse, and it was getting worse the longer it went on. When Mark picked his son up from school, Jeremy had simply been crying, but now his mania had gone from concerning to disturbing. 

‘There’s no time. I can already hear his teeth.’ Jeremy looked at his father and chattered his teeth, as if he was freezing cold. Then he looked at the clock and they both saw the time change. 3:12 
Jeremy put his hands under his pillow and bunched it up so the sides covered his ears. He clenched his eyes shut and continued to weep. 

‘You should just kill yourself. Make it easy. Just shoot yourself in the head and get it over with. You can’t handle what’s coming. No one can.'”

(The beginning of book 1 in the trilogy.) 

Wth?! Lol This scene is what got me hooked (a little bit obsessed!) with this trilogy a few years ago. 

I wasn’t sure if I was going to read it if it doesn’t have an ending until reading all three but that scene pulled me in and I decided to read it anyway even if I had to wait for the other two books to come out. 

Today is a special, special day! (so is every other day but today is especially special! Lol ;-)) 

It’s 314!

There’s a fiction book trilogy, called 314 (see the scene above!) , It’s one of the best things I ever encountered in this life. 

Lol

It’s an incredibly bizarre story, involving what seems like other dimensions. We cannot read books 2 or 3 without first reading book 1 or we won’t make an ounce of sense of it. Book 1
Itself is very difficult to comprehend in some ways. And books 2 and 3 only get weirder.

I wrote about it here 

 https://inspirationalgem.wordpress.com/2013/12/06/some-comforting-words-about-moving-forward-and-book-review-314/

a couple years ago.

If I remember correctly, there’s a lot of errors in my post that I don’t think are corrected, like spelling and grammar errors and stuff. I don’t know why. Usually, I don’t mess up like that. I remember reading my post a while after  publishing it and thinking “like wth?!”
Lol

I was going to correct the errors but never got around to it. Who cares, right?! You get the message. I’m no grammar phanatic (i’m a philadelphia girl, it’s how we spell fanatic lol) so yeah.

Anyway, today is 314! So in honor of this lovely, lovely (and wonderfully rainy!) day, I’m going to promote this wonderful author and his trilogy! And again share some deep wisdom in this story!  

I must warn you. These books are nassstaaayy!

Lol Full of gore and stuff, which I usually don’t care for! But at least the violence can’t occur for real because it’s like dead human-canine kids who kill people. They come out of some green fog and just tear everyone to shreds.

I can’t even begin to explain. 

Book 1 doesn’t have a complete ending, it doesn’t even touch on the conclusion of the story but I was satisfied at the end before reading books 2 and 3.
I felt as if I had some somewhat sensible, if vague, answers.

One thing I love about the books is, the story involves friends, both new and old, unconditional love, wisdom, and is just wildly entertaining and freaky.

You won’t read anything more bizarre as long as you live. I can almost guarantee it! 

Each year on March 14th, at 3:14pm, incredibly bizarre and terrifying things begin to happen to a town called Widowsfield.

And the people kind of know something is about to happen but they don’t really know, at least not consciously. Some remember some of the events better than others. They know they are going to die….again….then again…in the most horrific, agonizing ways.

It’s just freaky! 

Here are some interesting scenes:

“Jaime looked down at her scrawling. 3.141592653”
‘Is that pi?’
 ‘Yeah. We were supposed to memorize ten digits of it for Mr. Trager for pi day.’

 Anna settled back in her chair and snickered. ‘Sure, for the test this morning. Why are you still writing it?’
 Jaime paused for just a moment. ‘I don’t know. There’s something calming about it. Is that crazy?’
 ‘A little bit, yeah.’
 Anna watched Jaime write the sequence over and over, oddly transfixed.
Then Jaime wrote the final digit as a 4 instead of a 3 in one line. 
‘You got that one wrong.’ Jaime didn’t stop writing and didn’t look up. 
‘There’s no such thing as a perfect circle. There’s chaos in all of it.’
Jaime looked up at the ceiling and then at the window before she asked, ‘Do you hear that?’

“Anna watched the shapes in the fog advance. The silhouettes of children ran across the field from their school, and the barking of dogs grew louder. Soon, the soccer players were attacked and chaos erupted in the library. Teachers and students rushed to the window and time returned to normal as everyone panicked. Jaime moved closer to Anna and ignored the massacre outside. “Why are we doing it again? Why do I know what’s going to happen? I’ve never felt this way before.”

“Jaime and Anna ignored the bloody scene; they’d seen it countless times before. Jaime pulled Anna between two book shelves, away from the screaming mass, to speak in private.”

“…’I don’t know, I can’t explain how I know. I’m not sure what’s going on. I just, for a minute, I could hear him in my head. I knew his thoughts. He’s looking for a girl he lost. She was an innocent, and he needs her to help him stop this from happening again.’ ‘I don’t understand any of that,’ said Jaime.
‘I don’t either, but I know he’s going to keep doing this over and over until he finds her.”Then what?’ asked Jaime. ‘I don’t know.'”

“Jaime and Anna embraced as they waited for their inevitable death. Then it would begin anew, slightly different from the times before, and they would forget the prying mind of The Skeleton Man as he continued to try to complete the circle.”

And here is a scene out of one of the trilogy books that I shared in the post above. This scene is full of wisdom & hope. 

This is what I wrote in the other post:
The girl, Alma, whose brother disappeared in 1996 meets a little girl but the little girl isn’t real. She’s kind of ghost -like or a figment of someone’s imaginings. She was sent to Alma to help protect Alma.  She is a very wise little girl. And she has some comforting words for Alma. Alma’s life has been painful. She’s a young teacher. Her dad was abusive to her and her brother and he still comes after her as an adult. He is addicted to the meth drug. Her mom went insane after her son (Alma’s brother) disappeared and she became sick with severe depression.  And she died by suicide because she couldn’t handle her son being missing.

Then Alma watches her friends dying over and over all day everyday and she is so confused and worn out and knows her own life is in danger.  All the characters think they’re going crazy.  Alma just wants to give up. Just when she collapses outside thinking she can’t go on anymore, a little girl about ten years old comes to Alma. She reminds Alma of herself when she was a little girl.

This little girl takes Alma’s hand and says:

“It’s not a bad thing to remember our worst days but it’s important that we learn to move on. “

Alma responds saying

“I’ve had a lot of bad days.”. 

The little girl puts her head against Alma’s arm and says

“I know you have. But you can’t let those bad days ruin the ones you’ve got left to live.”. 

Isn’t this beautiful?! So much wisdom and light. We don’t have to allow painful memories and things that happened before to hold us back and ruin our present days.

I hope you’re having a lovely 314 full of love & laughter and not full of gore, green fog, canine kids, and the Skeleton Man! 😉

❤ 😀

Much love to you,

Xoxo Kim 

You are the music…

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“You are the music while the music lasts.” ~
(edited: Rumi – not T.s quote!)

Today I woke up very early after only three hours of sleep. It was still dark out and very windy and rainy and freezing cold! Just yesterday it was like 60 degrees! Lol

Now today it’s 30 something degrees.

Wth? Lol 😀

I woke up to the windchimes sounding in the backyard.  So beautiful.

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I felt peace & inner calm and a deep connection to the musical wind. 

I remembered this quote above. It’s a lovely quote that can be interpreted different ways. 

It’s perfect for my one word challenge. (my word is beauty)

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I don’t function well at all with only a few hours of sleep. I always needed a lot of hours of sleep in one night, like nine or ten! 

But I woke up in a great mood still! After the shower and brushing my teeth I was afraid to look in a mirror before leaving for work. Lol 

I don’t always look fabulous after not getting enough sleep or getting too much sleep. My face breaks out, my throat gets sore, my eyes have dark circles or bags around them, I look tired and just a wreck with not enough sleep! And my hair falls out in clumps!

Today instead of putting my makeup on, I worked on my one word challenge even though I wanted to put makeup on. I should have gotten up earlier (and went to sleep earlier.)

So I dreaded looking in a mirror!  

But I did and was surprised. I don’t look half bad! Lol Probably not perfect but quite alright for only three hours of sleep and not an ounce of makeup to cover up any blemishes.

Here’s a couple pictures.

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Also yesterday was very warm and I celebrated with an iced coffee! Today is very cold and I’m celebrating with a hot blueberry coffee! I’m at work for my manager while she’s away. I’m here alone reading books, drinking blueberry coffee, laughing all by myself! Lol ❤

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I’m reading a fiction mystery thriller Kindle book (but I think it can be ordered as a physical book as well?) about a serial killer who dresses as Santa and creeps around with an ax killing just about anyone she can. (admit it – when you saw “serial killer,” you automatically assumed the thing is a man, right? They are usually men both in reality & in fiction, it seems. But a lil lady can bring just as much destruction!) It’s in December. She’s a young woman with orange/red hair. People think she’s a mental patient who recently got out of a mental hospital after ten years. 
It’s called Santa Took Them. After they are murdered, the words “Santa took them” are written on the wall in blood. Ten years ago on Christmas Eve, a little girl’s family was murdered in a most grusome way and somehow she survived and ended up in their neighbor’s house. She was so traumatized she was hospitalized in a mental hospital for children for ten years then released because she’s 18 years old. She goes to live with her uncle and his girlfriend who are then murdered in a similar fashion as her family years ago and on the wall says the same thing, “Santa took them.” And the girl vanishes without a trace. Many people think she killed her family all those years ago and now her uncle and his girlfriend. But their heads were all chopped off and she was eight years old. Can an eight year old cut four people’s heads off? It takes place in a small town where homicide is virtually unheard of. Now some people see a Santa girl creeping around the woods and the house where the family was murdered. And a couple teenagers and some adults go missing. And all kinds of weird shit keeps happening. It’s one creepy story! It’s really good, a page turner for sure.

I think in murder mystery fiction books there’s two characters who won’t turn out to be the murderer if the author is good at writing mysteries. The character who seems most likely to be the one. And the character who seems least likely to be the one. The author doesn’t want to make it obvious who the killer is. So the character we just “know” is it, likely isn’t.
But in a way, the character who is least likely to be the killer is kind of obvious because we know how fictional murder mysteries go. They are supposed to be shocking. But knowing this, we may assume it’s the most innocent seeming or weakest person who will be the killer. 
It’s definitely not the explicitly obvious one unless the author suspects we’ll suspect it’s the obvious one, therefore assuming it’s not since it’s so obvious, then decides to make the most obvious one the actual killer because we’ll never see it coming.

That would be disappointing! 

Am I rambling?

It’s interesting because in the beginning of this book there’s a quote by Dr. Sam Loomis. Do you recall who he is? Maybe you haven’t seen the movie. He’s the character in the movie, Halloween, the mental health doctor for Michael, the killer. He says “Death has come to your little town sheriff.” And the author of “Santa Took Them” has that quote in this book on the first page. And in this book, the mental patient’s mental health doctor is also named Dr. Sam Loomis, short for Samantha! I like how he made her a woman with the same name! And same kind of doctor! And the girl is named Michelle and I think that’s a feminine form of Michael. I wonder if there’s anymore little details taken out of Halloween and put in this book with little changes! Maybe the whole book is full of them!

My sister and me before were saying how hilarious it would be to write a really fascinating mystery book with an intentionally sucky ending just for shitz & gigglez. I can’t stop laughing when I think about it. Like a serious mystery that people can’t wait to see unfold then at the end it makes no sense or just cuts off abruptly and says “the end” and there’s no real explanation. Or like if it’s a murder mystery, a realistic one then at the end the murderer turns out to be a flying hot dog or a ghost when the story isn’t a supernatural one. People would be so pissed and want their money back! And their time! Lmao

You think you read books with lousy endings before, you haven’t seen it yet! j/k Luckily for the world I’m not a writer (except here lol), not now, not ever. But my sister is and hopes to publish books and write films one day. She wouldn’t really do that sucky ending thing though! It’s just a funny fantasy. ;-D

Anyway, I just love fiction murder mysteries! (but never real ones) It’s disgusting isn’t it?! My guilty pleasure!

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I’m listening to Tom Jones singing

She’s A Lady – mobile / desktop and it’s a great song! But a bit condescending wouldn’t you say?

“I never would abuse her…”?? Really? No shit, Tom! The way he says it like it’s even an option!

&

“She never asks very much and I don’t refuse her.” Why should she have to ask him for anything like it’s his place to refuse her. He’s not her master!

She always knows her place?
She’s never in the way?

Excuse me??

I can leave her on her own?
What is she your dog or your child or something.

lol But I love the song & music!
Another Guilty pleasure!

😀

Much love,

Xoxo Kim ❤

p.s. I don’t know the end yet of “Santa Took Them” but I have a suspicion of how it will pan out and I would love to write it but I don’t want to in case someone is reading it or planning to, I don’t want to influence the person’s perception but if you don’t mind, I’m going to share my suspicion which may be completely incorrect.

Possible spoil alert

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I think maybe the mental patient, Michelle, has a dissociative disorder and like a split personality and is killing them but doesn’t consciously know she’s the one killing them. Anyway, I can’t wait to see! 😀

Laughter in the Rain

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“The stranger is here. I can feel it. She’s close.
The words vibrated in the dark room and stirred the night air inside the small izba at the far end of Tivil, where two dark-haired figures leaned close across a table within an uncertain circle of light. A measured sprinkle of aromatic powder sent a spiral of flashes swirling out from the single candle flame that burned before them. Together they inhaled its delicate fragrance.
‘I’ve drawn her close,’ Rafik murmured. ‘So close I can hear her heartbeat in Tivil.’
His hand hovered over a black cloth on which lay a heavy crystal sphere. It gleamed, shimmered, and seemed to pulse in the darkness as the gypsy’s hand circled above it, slow and attentive, listening to its voice.
‘What do you hear?’ whispered the olive-skinned girl.
‘I hear her heart tearing. I hear her blood spilling, drop by drop, and yet…I hear her laughing.’ The sound was sweet as birdsong in his ears.”
(The Red Scarf, Kate Furnivall, pp. 52) 

Isn’t this beautiful?! It’s out of a novel I’m reading that takes place in 1933 about a young woman who escapes a Siberian labor camp to try to help another prisoner escape later. 
Labor camps are prisons where many innocent people were locked up unjustly and for stupid reasons like just disagreeing with authority.
They are tortured and not taken care of. They are worked sometimes literally to death. They are killed if they make mistakes or do not submit to authority. Many died before their sentence was up. This story isn’t real but labor camps were.

In prison, this young woman, Sofia, meets another young woman, Anna, and they become very close friends. Anna saves Sofia’s life when Sofia gets cut and it becomes infected. She cares for her day and night until it heals. The guards and others do not take care of the prisoners and couldn’t care less if they die, are sick or in pain. 
Anna tells Sofia often, about the boy she loves and hasn’t seen in years. Sofia takes great pleasure in the beautiful stories Anna tells. It’s what sees her through the pain of being locked away in a labor camp day after day, year after year. 
Anna becomes deathly ill and Sofia wants to get her out of there and get her proper care but Anna is too sick to escape so Sofia risks her life escaping so she can go find Anna’s lover and bring him back to her so Anna can escape.
I haven’t read much of the book yet but on the back it says Sofia finds Anna’s love, the boy she still loves after all these years, and Sofia falls in love with him! Uhh ohh! :-/

But it’s more than just a love story involving romantic & platonic love. It’s a mystery and full of danger and adventure. It has a lot of substance and the characters have depth unlike a lot of characters in romantic love stories, who seem one-dimensional.
I love how it’s a love story that involves both friendship love & romantic love. I love novels about friendship. 

This book has over 400 pages. I’m on page 73.

So I don’t know what happens later in the story but it seems Sofia finds herself in a position where she can potentially make a choice to betray her friend or remain loyal but deny herself the love she has for her friend’s man. I hope she will choose loyalty to her friend. 

 I want to share the scene above because it’s beautiful and mysterious and I believe it’s a positive message how we can find joy & laughter even in the midst of sorrow, anxiety, and uncertainty. 

The man and young girl above are father & daughter, Rafik and Zenia, and the teenage girl, Zenia, finds the young woman, Sofia, stealing vegetables out of their garden before Sofia suffers a head injury and falls unconscious. The father and daughter take Sofia in, knowing she’s a fugitive and it can put their own lives in danger. But they are good people who want to help her. The man and his daughter have some psychic abilities. They don’t know everything though and the daughter’s are not as strong as her father’s.

It’s a lovely book if the part I read up until now is any indication. 

So, I hope you are having a great day or night and lots of love to you! ❤

😀

Xoxo Kim 

Our Hawaiian Paradise

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(me on the Wildwood beach this Summer)

In Orison Swett Marden’s book, Cheerfulness As a Life Power, you can read it online here,he shares an amazing excerpt I would love to share about being lighthearted, cheerful, and carefree. 

It’s old so there’s no copyright so it’s no cost to read online! I have the Kindle book. It’s not a very long book.  

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Here it is:

“Our Hawaiian Paradise”

“A newspaper correspondent, Annie Laurie, has told us all about the new kind of American girls just added to our country: –

‘They are as straight as an arrow, and walk as queens walk in fairy stories; they have great braids of sleek, black hair, soft brown eyes, and gleaming white teeth; they can swim and ride and sing; and they are brown with a skin that shines like bronze…there isn’t a worried woman in Hawaii. The women there can’t worry. They don’t know how. They eat and sing and laugh, and see the sun and the moon set, and posses their souls in smiling peace. 
If a Hawaiian woman has a good dinner, she laughs and invites her friends to eat it with her; if she hasn’t a good dinner, she laughs and goes to sleep, – and forgets to be hungry. She doesn’t have to worry about what the people in the downstairs flat will think if they don’t see the butcher’s boy arrive on time. If she can earn the money, she buys a nice. new, glorified Mother Hubbard; and, if she can’t get it, she throws the old one into the surf and washes it out, puts a new wreath of fresh flowers in her hair, and starts out to enjoy the morning and the breezes thereof.
They are not earnest workers; they haven’t the slightest idea that they were put upon earth to reform the universe, – they’re just happy. They run across great stretches of clear, white sand, washed with resplendent purple waves, and, when the little brown babies roll in the surf, their brown mothers run after them, laughing and splashing like a lot of children. Or, perhaps we see them in gay cavalcades mounted upon garlanded ponies, adorned by white jasmine wreaths with roses and pinks. And here in this paradise of laughter and light hearts and gentle music, there’s absolutely nothing to do but to care for the children and old people and to swim or ride. You couldn’t start a ‘reform circle’ to save your life; there isn’t a jail in the place, nor a tenement quarter, and there are no outdoor pool. There isn’t a woman’s club in Honolulu, – not a club. There was a culture circle once for a few days; a Boston woman who went there for her health organized it, but it interfered with afternoon nap-time, so nobody came.’
When, hereafter, we talk about worrying women, we must take into account our Hawaiian sisters, if we will average up the amount of worry
per capita,in our nation.”

This is so beautiful and I get vivid images going through my head of these beautiful smiling women and their beautiful babies playing in the sand all day loving & living without a care in the world!

This is a beautiful inspiration to us all and how blessed we are to be able to encounter it!

If we are someone with a serious condition like an anxiety or depressive condition that requires professional or medical help, this most likely will not cure us but it can be a great supplement and reminder to let go of whatever is preventing cheerfulness and positivity in our heads. And if we don’t have a true mental health condition, we still likely experience anxiety or distress once in a while and this excerpt is a fantastic guide to help us cope and let go. 

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I love how the writer writes that these girls, if they don’t have a good dinner, just forget to be hungry. That’s so inspiring! They can complain about not having good food but instead they just go to sleep and wake up happy. And if she can’t get up enough money for what she wants, she just reuses the old and makes it beautiful!

Imagine if we do this often, forget to be hungry when our food sucks, reuse our old things if we can’t buy new ones and if they can’t be reused, just forget to want them until we can get them later! Instead of complaining about the weather, soak up whatever beauty we can in the weather we have. When we’re sick, instead of complaining, use the experience as a good excuse to nurture our selves more. We can seize every situation we are in and practice looking at the bright side, looking for any bit of good that we can!

Let’s remember to laugh in the sun, breathe in the sweet fragrance of the flowers, feel the soft air upon our skin, sing, and splash, and play! There’s no such thing as being “too old” as long as we’re alive. Forget the stress, the problems, the potential problems, the negativity & be happy now!

😀 ❤

Lottsa love to you!!

xoxi Kim ❤

All the boy heard was the love…<3

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(my sweet, silly, funny, loving little pomchies!! ❤ )

I read a novel a while ago called “Keeper of the Keys,” by Perri O’Shaughnessy, about a man whose wife disappears and he has a very painful and mysterious history with constantly moving with his mom to different houses and never meeting his dad who died years ago. After his wife disappears without a trace, he visits each house he lived as a boy, trying to find the secrets to his past that his mom keeps hidden. The fact that he did not know his dad growing up, and that he feels he never had a real home, contribute to his emotional anguish.

His mom paints a very negative image of his dad who is dead.

He visits his dad’s memorial and on pages, 193-4, it says this:

“He felt vast emptiness, surrounded by the dead and his own dead hopes. Every boy without a father probably harbors a secret illusion that his father would have been one of the good guys, if only. He’d load up a camper with canned food for trips to Yosemite to climb to Glacier Peak or Alaska to catch halibut, waking his son at five in the morning. Or maybe he would be the guy who dragged his boy off to museums to study the dusty Indian exhibits, who went on and on about the tar pits, and all the groggy boy heard, all the boy had to hear, was his father’s voice, not what he said. All the boy heard was the love.
The time they spent together would embed memories so deep, even if the man died, the boy could spend the rest of his lifetime savoring and honoring him.”
 

This is heartbreakingly beautiful. The man is in agony over never knowing his dad. But isn’t it a beautiful concept? 

To have a relationship so loving that no matter how short lived it has been, it will still have the most incredible impact on us years and years later. Forever. 

This reminds me that it’s a great way for all of us to be with all those we are close to, everyone around us. To be so loving that we have a tremendous impact on someone even years after we are gone, no matter how our relationship ends. Whether it ends in death, just drifting apart, even a falling out, the good things we shared or did will still remain in memory. In this fantasy of the man, this boy’s relationship with his daddy is so loving, so beautiful that the man can die right then and for the rest of the little boy’s life, he will still remember and honor him. His love will outweigh the pain of his loss. He will still feel the loss and the pain but love will keep him going. 

Let’s create positive memories of each other and put mostly loving energy out into the world. Our energy affects those around us even if we aren’t always aware. 

When we are full of love and light inside, it really doesn’t always matter what we say, or if we say anything at all, people will only hear/feel our love.

I know what it’s like to be near someone who is so loving that it doesn’t matter if the person isn’t saying a word. I am enveloped in that soft, sweet, gentle love. We all have love in us, we all just don’t always act on it or allow it to be the main thing we feel and live each day.
But we can work to be better and better with it.

One of the people, I have been near who displays this kind of loving energy is an old lady I knew for years where I work. She’s a customer who comes occasionally. 

Some years ago at work one night, a man I do not and have never known, held a gun to my chest and said he would kill me and took all the money(I have nothing against him and hope he is doing well wherever he is and hope he’s no longer in that dark place he found himself in that night.). I was alone. This lady did not know me well but she was so concerned when she heard and she came the next night and asked me if I want her to walk me home that night. She would have had to walk back to her house herself after 10:00 at night for over 20 minutes! She is very small and old. And she would have done this for me! Isn’t that so sweet! Of course, I told her no but expressed my gratitude. And I will never forget that sweet act of kindness as long as I live.

Another day she heard another customer complaining that my service was too slow and it’s a man’s job, not a “little woman’s” to be working with water ice that is really hard to scoop. This lady told him in a sweet voice that I have been working there for years and always did a good job and know what I’m doing. I love how she came to my defense but not in an angry way against him. She was sweet and pleasant but firm. She defended me with compassion, not contempt for him.

She also gives me tips a lot when she comes. 

Those are indications of her loving ways. But when I really noticed her loving energy was when I felt it one day, not through her words or actions but just in her being, her essence. She was standing at the window and I just felt so enveloped, so immersed in her love. She is so gentle but her love is so powerful. 

Even if I never met her til that day at the window, I would have known her love even without her uttering a word to me.

We all have this ability to draw someone in, bathe others in our love, and at some moments, we probably do, but not all of us have developed and practice it in general. Some people are naturally more loving but even those who are less loving now, can develop it with practicing Lovingkindness to everyone everyday.

I hardly know this lady. I don’t know her name. She doesn’t come a lot to my workplace. She lives across the street. But I know her love so well. She is adorable and funny! 

One day I walked into the bar my boss owns, to give the cash back at the end of the day and the little lady was in there dancing and singing karaoke! She was singing that Oldie song “splish splash I was takin’ a bath!” lol it was so cute and funny!  

And she may not always act lovingly. She may get angry and disappointed and act less than kind occasionally, but if this is true, that doesn’t make her a less loving person as a whole. We can build our self up to be the best we can in each moment, even if we falter and aren’t always kind. But the more we practice and think lovingly, the more frequently we will act and feel loving. 

Some of us may be more receptive to one person’s energy than others are.  Even if we don’t always feel a person’s loving energy, it doesn’t mean it’s not there or that no one else feels it either. Some people just don’t sense energy much. And I think there are people with “matching energy” and when we meet those with energy similar to our own, we may click or have a deeper connection in some way than with others. But we all have energy and it’s good to make it positive. 

It doesn’t matter how long we know someone or have someone around. All the matters is the love we put out into the world. And the love we show those around us. ❤ ❤

Also check out Splish Splash, sung by Bobby Darin, a golden oldie! ;-D

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It’s bound to put a big bright smile on your face, maybe even have you dancing around the room singing along!! ;-D

Lotsa love to y0u!! 😀 ❤ ❤

Xoxo Kim 😀

In Love With Nowhere <3

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I read a fiction book called “In Love With Nowhere.” I loved the name as soon as I read it. I automatically interpreted as something positive like we can be in love with “nowhere” like either being physically “in the middle of nowhere” or loving each stage of life even if it seems to be going nowhere.

The book is about a man who is 30 something years old and struggling with severe substance addiction. He is a popular writer of horror fiction books and is well loved by many fans, but his addiction gets the best of him and his career, his marriage, and his whole life are suffering. 

So his agent sets up a place in the woods, a cozy cabin, for him to stay alone for a while to get better. He’ll have no contact with the outside world, other than walks through the woods and the kritters there,  and no access to drugs except smaller and smaller doses of Valium until he’s off it completely. He has to write a blog post each day to let the world know how he is doing and what he’s up to but he has no contact with readers.

Shortly after he gets to the cabin, very strange things begin happening. He’s not sure what’s real and what are hallucinations and delusions. He suffers immensely, both physically and emotionally. He experiences depression and serious physical opiate withdrawal symptoms.  He is plagued with nightmares and terrible visions. 

It’s a psychological thriller and a horror fiction book but runs deeper than just thriller and mystery. There are little life lessons and reminders throughout the book.

Also it helps deepen our empathy for those struggling with addiction. Some scenes are gutwrenching. The author really goes into detail about the physical and emotional torment that people with addiction experience. 

The book is also full of hope and inspiration.

There are little reminders to cherish the beauty all around us. To be mindful of nature and the people we see everywhere we go.

It also reminds us to take comfort in the simple pleasures, when we are sick and in pain, hot tea, a hot shower, a comfortable bed, a cool breeze, just focus on each little thing and allow it to distract us so we don’t have to focus too much on the pain or sickness we are experiencing. It’s ok to find sweet little escapes to help us cope and bring some sense of consolation no matter how small.

Also it reminds us to let go of our painful past, not to be haunted by mistakes we have made and horrific things that happened to us. Acknowledge that they happened, never repress them, but just let them go. They can’t be changed and letting them imprison us does no good to anyone. 

The book also conveys the message that as long as we’re alive, there’s always hope no matter how terrible our life seems now.

Also, it reminds us to smile big like a “simpleton!” lol! A couple occasions the man smiles a big goofy grin like a “simpleton,” The author calls it! My grandmom often called me a simpleton when I was little and I still think it’s funny! There’s nothing more beautiful than those moments where we are so filled with joy, we can just laugh and be silly without a care in the world no matter what’s going on! I have those occasions sometimes no matter how depressed or how much physical pain I’m in. We’re never too old or too bad off (as long as we’re alive) to be simple and silly and full of child-like wonder! 😀

Some scenes are beautiful and serene, some bizarre, and some frightening and very distressing but all together it’s a beautiful story and even though I don’t and never have had a drug problem, I can relate to so many of this man’s underlying experiences.

This isn’t really a spoiler but a line out of the book in case you don’t want to read it and read the book first.
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Just when the man is about to just give up, someone has this to say to him:

“You have so much potential, you can give the world so much, you will give the world so much.” 

“Like I said, the world needs you and eventually it will find a use for you. But not as a repressed drug addict.”

I find this message to be beautiful and inspiring. We are more than just our struggles and pain and we all have potential and so much to give.

We are more than a drug addict or a depressive or schizophrenic, or someone with an eating disorder or low self-esteem or someone drowning in grief. We are more than an asthmatic or cancer patient or an anxious person or whatever physical or emotional ailment or disease we have been afflicted with. So much more. Even when it feels that all we are is someone with pain or a disorder. 

We are not a disorder or a condition or an addiction. I am not my pain.
You are not your anxiety or painful experiences or emotions or words that have hurt you. You aren’t your bad habits or mistakes or flaws or shortcomings.

We have a whole personality and love and skills and gifts beneath those labels and agonizing experiences. Look, feel, and they are there. Here. 

We have so much potential.

So this book is a fun thriller and mystery but it’s also much more.  It’s grounded in hope and healing.

And I just feel the desire to share!

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Even if you don’t read the book, maybe you can find these little reminders helpful or inspiring anyway!

Lots & lots of love to you! 😀

Xoxo Kim 

May My Light Lead Me Through

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I’m reading a zombie thriller! Lol

It’s called “Savage” and the author is Iain Rob Wright. It’s purely fictional in case you’re wondering. ;-D 

I’m not even halfway through the book but I love it! 

In the book there are very few survivors who come together and do what they have to to survive, defending themselves and each other. 
It’s basically the end of the world. There are zombies around but are easy to fend off for the most part. They aren’t fast and can’t really climb anything. All the sprinters (the really fast and furious ones who can climb and charge at people…scary!) are gone now. All the survivors who came together are living on a pier with a steel gate so the zombies can’t get them. But the book is really about how there’s another group out there somewhere, of living humans just like the survivors, but this other group is a serious threat to them. Maybe even more threatening than the zombies. They don’t know they’re out there yet. I haven’t got to that part yet. 

The one character has a quote that he recites in his head, to give him inspiration and motivation when he’s in a dangerous situation. 

“Into the darkness I fade. May my light lead me through.”

Isn’t it inspiring?!

So full of hope. 

He saw it written on the ground outside of a mosque, maybe about a year or many months ago, after the initial outbreak of the zombie infection and it helps see him through the devastation and terrifying situations.

The quote is a sweet reminder that no matter how dark it gets for us, we have a light inside to guide us and all we have to do is look to that light when we are in that darkness. Whether it’s grief, depression, physical pain or sickness, anxiety, some tragedy, guilt, a zombie apocalypse, or just a “bad day” or low mood, I think that’s a great quote to remember!  

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No matter how dim it gets every now & then, keep it burning, even if it’s just a flicker, a sparkle, a sliver of a flame, it’s still fierce and can help guide us and help us help others. We can focus on the good in us and around us, do the best we can and keep going. And we can use our own light to rekindle the light of someone else in need. ❤

And if your light seems to be going out, just try to rekindle someone else's and yours is sure to burst into flames itself. ❤

"At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us." ~Albert Schweitzer

Much love to you! ❤ 😀

Xoxo Kim 

Befriending our emotions

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“Life isn’t about learning how to weather the storm. It’s about learning how to dance in the rain.”~Vivian Greene

I read a novel, which I posted about last week, called “First Do No Evil” by Dr. Carey Baldwin, medical doctor and author, wife, mother, and with quite a few advanced degrees! She writes mystery books. The books are part of a series but can also be read individually. They’re mostly about doctors, usually a thirty something year old woman with a painful past who is now in some sort of trouble, like being stalked or the target of murder/homicide attempt, who meets a man who tries to help her and they begin to fall in love. The books are full of mystery, adventure, and romance. The characters are of substance and the stories are fascinating, page turners. Dr. Baldwin, the author of this book, former clinical psychologist, and now a family medical doctor, is a hopeless romantic and a genius! So her novels include romance along with the thrilling mystery and adventure.  Her books are intended for adults, not appropriate for teenages, as they contain explicit sexual scenes and adult language/content, and physical violence, even murder. Some romance novels are hallow, with no depth, not much of a plot, but these ones are not like that. They are full of beauty and amazing life lessons. 

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Here is one such lesson: 

“Above the clunking of snow chains, at last, Danny heard his phone. Grabbing it, he checked the display. It was the captain. His breathing grew ragged, and the hairs on the back of his neck lifted. Fear can do funny things to a man. It can paralyze his diaphragm and vocal cords so he can hardly breathe, so he can’t even manage to scream for help; or it can pump his muscles so full of adrenaline he can fend off an army of aliens. Fear can be a man’s worst enemy, or his best friend. Danny knew he had a choice. 
He chose friend.” 

This is a fantastic reminder of how seemingly negative or unpleasant emotions can serve a purpose if we allow them to. 

Guilt – can trigger us to make things right – it can inspire us to say sorry if we wronged someone, tell the truth, and avoid doing things to hurt others and be more mindful of our actions.

Anger – can fuel us or break us. When we get super angry about a certain issue or at a certain person, anger can trigger us to reach out to do something. Reach out not in a destructive way but in a productive way to help or to try to make things better. If we are angry about a political cause, for example, we can reach out in compassion and love to help, not give into the fury and react in a hostile way. Love and compassion can inspire us to act and so can anger and fury when we use it in a constructive way. 

Sadness – When we are sad, we can reach out to help or uplift others in similar situations. Our own sadness can deepen our empathy.  

Grief and loss– grief can help us in a similar way and can inspire us to build our lives into something better, we can become like new, use our grief to push us forward and rebuild ourselves while also reaching out in love and empathy to console others. 

Disappointment/sense of failure/frustration – teach us lessons and motivate us to work even harder. We can acquire/develop more skills along the way and use our experiences to help others. 

Pain of any kind can be our catalyst for positive change in general and can deepen our wisdom and strength and empathy. Pain can bring us to ruin and then we can take that ruin and become even better. Sometimes after experiencing severe pain of any sort, we can change our lives to be better in general than even before that pain. 

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Jealousy – When we feel jealous that someone has something we don’t, that jealousy can inspire us to work harder for what we want or to work on ourselves to accept how we are instead of wanting what we cannot have. It can also provoke us to look within and see what is going on, to see what we feel is lacking or why we feel that way. Then we can become even better/stronger than before. 

Fear/panic – fear can pump us to act or trigger us to collapse and we can choose which to allow.

Unpleasant seeming emotions can inspire and motivate us to create, to build, to reach out, to survive. 

Depression, anxiety, chronic pain, illness…anything that seems negative or unpleasant can be our friend, our teacher, our motivation. 

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Think about your unpleasant emotions. How have they helped you? How can they help you now and in the future? How can you use them to your advantage instead of letting them drag you down?  What can they teach you? Tapping into the wisdom of each experience and emotion is a skill that we can develop to be better. 

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~Let pain make you better, not bitter.~

I’m wishing you much love and light today and always. I hope you are having a beautiful day or night wherever you are! ❤

Xoxo Kim 😀