Tag Archive | bullying

Bullying v. Love <3

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This isn’t my photo but I love it! We may not realize just how deeply our actions and choice of words affect those we target. This goes for both loving and vicious words & actions. And applies to on and offline. Just one seemingly trivial encounter can have a long lasting impact for better or for worse. 

We can never go wrong with love & compassion.
Let’s show love to each life we encounter. Let’s include everyone and encourage those around us instead of trying to drag them down or exclude them.
We don’t have to be close friends with everyone but we can still include them in our circles/groups, in our love.
If we see someone who seems lonely or alone, let’s reach out and be a friend to the person.

Let’s genuinely compliment people when we can, embrace them in our love, be an active listener, lift others up, rejoice in their success and happiness and be a source of consolation in their pain.

Most of us probably are not always kind and loving without fail. We may not intend to inflict serious pain but our words/actions can contribute to greater pain than we intended. But we can work to be better & better, making it a point to meditate on good, loving intentions. ❤

😀

~Hug the hurt
Kiss the broken
Befriend the lost
Comfort the sick 
Love the lonely~ ❤

Much love & light to you. ❤

xoxo Kim

My Grown Up Christmas List <3

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“Do you remember me
I sat upon your knee
I wrote to you with childhood fantasies

Well I’m all grown-up now
And still need help somehow
I’m not a child
But my heart still can dream

So here’s my lifelong wish
My grown-up Christmas list
Not for myself
But for a world in need”

This is my grown up Christmas list! It’s a bit different than that materialistic one! Lol

I think it’s obvious what’s on this list. Most of us probably want the same thing, world peace, the end of wars, starvation, diseases, & everyone getting along well…..we don’t always agree on the best methods of achieving that though or every aspect of it and that’s often where hostile arguments occur, not usually because we disagree on the ultimate thing. 

So I’m not listing every single thing because that’s so much and so much is obvious. Who doesn’t want world peace?! (well except for terrorists and all maybe….?)

Here is my grown up Christmas list for 2013:

https://inspirationalgem.wordpress.com/2013/12/24/my-grown-up-christmas-list/

And here is my newest one!

Dear Santa,

1.) One of the things I want to end is all forms of bullying in schools, workplaces, cyber-bullying.

This is a serious issue that frequently is overlooked by adults and those who work in schools. It’s not just “kids being kids” and it’s not something that happens to everyone and should be swept under the rug.
Many people say we are all bullied and to just suck it up. No, we are not all bullied. 
Most of us probably have had rude things said or done to us at some point or every now and then. But that is not the same as the kids who are the same targets day after day, being tortured emotionally and/or physically for whatever stupid reason.
And not everyone handles it the same.  
Not everyone can just “suck it up.” Some people have underlying depression or anxiety or psychotic disorders that are brought out by bullying.
And it’s not just an adolescent problem. It happens to adults in the workplace. Can you believe it?! Adults do this to other adults! And it can affect an adult in the same devastating ways it affects children in schools. 
Adults kill themselves too and dread going to work knowing what is coming.
My love & compassion goes to all affected by bullying. Bullies only do this because they are true cowards who feel powerless within themselves so try to make up for it by having power over someone else.  
They choose a target, someone they are jealous of or someone they think appears to be weaker in some way, someone who they feel can’t or won’t come back at them. They feel low about themselves even if they seem confident, so they find someone they see as an easy target. Then other people go along with them so they aren’t the next targets or to feel as part of the group of bullies. They want to fit in. Even adults. 
It’s nothing personal even though it really feels like it and they often say specific things, maybe even true things, about their targets, things they know will likely get to them. But any of us can say cruel things  to and about anyone. We can all have cruel things said to and about us, whether those things are true or not. None of us are perfect in everyone’s eyes.
We can all take any flaw or mistake someone has made and blow it out of proportion and taunt the person day and night, online and in person. It doesn’t mean the person deserves it. It can be done to anyone. I hope you won’t think it is really something about you personally even if what they say is true. 
For someone else, they can choose something else and blow that up, magnifying that person’s flaws like it’s the worst thing in the world. 
It’s not. 
No matter how “perfect” someone appears to be, someone can come along and tear that person to shreds saying true or untrue things. 
They take our weaknesses and flaws and use them against us.
It can happen to anyone. It says nothing about us and says something about how the instigator is choosing to be in that moment.
We can all choose to laugh and smirk and whisper about someone and get others to go along with us to try to make someone feel low. It shows how we are choosing to be, not how the person we are doing that to really is. 
We only lower ourselves when we do that.

Please hold on. You can overcome it even if you can’t feel that now.
And even if one person or many seem to not like you, many people do like you and love you or would if they knew you.
One day on a suicide memorial page for a teenage child who died by suicide instigated  by bullying, I read something I’ll never forget. His mom wrote to all people feeling suicidal and lonely, feeling unlovable, something like “Whoever you are, whatever you do, someone somewhere can love someone just like you.”
It’s so true. We are all desirable to some and not to others. One person or one group of people can make it feel as if the whole world is against us. But it’s never true. 
“You can be greater than anything that can happen to you.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale ❤

And if you're the bully, please get help, it's not too late for you to turn your life around and get better and stop trying to destroy other people. 
Dragging others down will never bring you up. When we try to degrade someone else, we only degrade our own self. 
"We rise by lifting others."

2.) politicians to stop arguing in a negative way and slandering one another and instead attempt to work together whatever side they are on. We can disagree without being vicious. Politicians do a lot of hard work and it takes strength to have a job like that. I love our politicians irrespective of their views. It's not a job for the faint-hearted, for sure! Why not add compassion and wisdom to that strength and determination, even compassion for the "other side." We are One. We are all working or hoping for ultimately the same thing, a better world. We won't accomplish as much good with all the bickering and mocking and anger. Please take your skills and experience and use it for pure good! 😀

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3.) people to realize that while anger does fuel us and can give us a backbone, compassion fuels too in an even greater way. Anger can motivate us and anger isn't bad or wrong. When we feel angry about a certain issue we often move to help it, writing to politicians, sharing information, donating money, time,….and this is good. But often while having compassion for one, we have anger for another. For example, if we are for a certain political issue, we may have compassion for those on the side we support but anger and loathing for those on the opposing side and many people think that's a good thing because they say anger motivates us to act. But so does deep compassion. Some people say without anger, we won't act to make things better. Not true. Unless maybe if all someone has inside is anger and it's stripped away. But some anger arises because of the compassion we feel for those wronged. We can work hard for something or someone without anger. When someone hurts our friend or family member, we have compassion for the one hurt and anger for the one who inflicted the pain. But we don't need that anger. It doesn't make us any less passionate or caring if we aren't infuriated by the injustice in the world. We can have much compassion for the one hurt and tend to that person without seeking revenge. Anger can become destructive but compassion and wisdom never do. 
If we focus on our love for the people or the issue and focus on our deep desire to see good and see them free of suffering, we can allow the fury for the wrongdoers to melt away.
Feed the love and compassion, not the potentially destructive emotions. 
We all have love or the potential for love in us and all have anger or the potential for anger in us, all have positivity and negativity, the potential to hurt and the potential to heal. Which side will win? Like the old Cherokee legend says, “The one you feed.” Let’s feed the positive. 
“Promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate.”

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4.) universal love – some people say this is not practical but that’s because they don’t understand what we mean by universal love.
In this sense, love means wishing everyone the best, wanting everyone to be happy.
But how can that be? What’s best for me may interfere with someone else’s “best.” 
Example: If two people go on a job interview for the same job and only one can get the job how can they both get the best? 
It may be “best” for a murderer to kill someone but that’s certainly not the best for the potential victim.
For political candidates who lose elections and things, they can’t all have the best in that sense of winning. 
But when I wish everyone the best, I’m not necessarily talking about external circumstances and getting everything we want, but inner peace which we can have no matter what goes on outside. I can not get the job but still be happy.
A murderer who experiences true inner peace and love won’t want to kill.
I wish everyone the best but not at the expense of others. 

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5.) I wish for all sentient beings including humans, animals, insects….to be free of suffering and full of love.

6.) I wish for homeless people & animals to stay safe & warm in the bitter cold Winters and cool in the scorching hot Summers. And shelter animals to all find their loving furever homes. ❤

7.) I wish for us to live in deep compassion & evolved empathy for each other and all living sentient beings.  

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8.) Us to take better care of our beautiful Earth and be more mindful of even just simple things we do. For example, using environmental friendly cleaning products more than damaging ones. Any little thing may help or at least just get our own minds in the habit of being more caring. ❤

9.) For all kids who celebrate or would celebrate holidays/birthdays to have toys and gifts. Some families don't celebrate with gifts or don't celebrate at all and that's ok, nothing wrong with that! But some kids have difficulty getting gifts because their families are financially struggling or they don't have a family. I think all kids who celebrate or would, with gifts, should have baby dolls and teddy bears and packages to open and whatever teenagers like these days. (I was a teenager once but it was ages ago and I don't think it's the same as now, we did not have smartphones and ipads and whatever else! Lol) This is more than just materialistic. Part of being a child is having fun, the joy of playing with toys and things. I used to love baby dolls and Barbies and frequently got them for holidays and birthdays. And I don't want any kids to be without the joy of things like that just because they don't have much money or don't have a family. We can help sometimes by donating toys to places collecting them and sending cards to hospitals collecting them for the children.

10.)  world peace. ❤ lol can't forget this one! It's a cliche but for good reason! 😀

“No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
Everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown-up Christmas list”

“And right would always win”

This is a beautiful concept! Beautiful intention. But is it really practical? Is it really so simple? Is it even a possibility? It almost seems like a pompous claim or wish. But I know the people wishing it have great intentions. Some things may not be objectively right. What’s right to one may not be to another.

For example, capital punishment. To me, it doesn’t seem right that it’s up to the state or anyone to decide when someone must die, even a cold blooded murderer. Who are you and who am I or anyone to decide that someone else should die no matter what that person previously did? What gives us that kind of authority? It seems self-important, we think we are in a position to have someone die. But someone else’s conviction is just as strong that it’s wrong to NOT kill a cold blooded murderer. To allow a murderer to keep breathing after that person cruelly took someone else’s life? To protect and shelter and care for a murderer in prison when the poor victim never gets to see the light of day again? To give that person a chance to escape confinement and kill again? It’s unlikely but it has happened. Who is to say, in this case, which of us is really right? There are good arguments and well intentioned arguments on both sides. I don’t think we can come to an objective conclusion which is right. There are so many issues like this one where it’s just not clear and there are so many aspects.

To me “right” is choosing Love in every moment. Love even when we disagree. We can all stand up for the things we think are right while loving those who stand up for what they think is right even if we disagree with their concept of “right.”

My Grown Up Christmas List – Amy Grant – desktop

My Grown Up Christmas List – mobile

~ I’m not a child but my heart still can dream ~ ❤

So here it is! My grown up Christmas list!

What do you think? Anything you want to add? Let me know! 

😀

Hugs & love,

Kim 

Social Media – Developing Healthy Skills and Balance

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I received a lifehack e-mail with a link to a list of reasons why social media can be detrimental to our health.

It’s titled, 
You Should Be Aware Of These 10 Effects Of Social Media On You

By Amanda Rife 

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/technology/you-should-aware-these-10-effects-social-media-you.html

Amanda Rife writes:

“Technology is a useful tool, but many people don’t know how to use it properly which can easily become damaging. As much as you may love your Twitter page is it really worth the toll it takes on your health? That’s for you to decide after you read the following 10 ways social media negatively effects your life:”

She brings up some interesting and important issues and great points with some basis of truth to them and I am elaborating and adding my own views about each one, here.

After each number is her reason why social media may be damaging to us. Under each reason is her view and under each of her views is my own opinion.

1.) Reduces person to person interaction.

Amanda Rife writes:
“Not only do you spend less quality time with is people who are physically present in your life, but they will quickly get annoyed by you when you’re paying more attention to an electronic device than them. Eventually the people around you will even stop wanting to hang out with you.”

My view: We have complete control over how frequently and in which ways we use our social media accounts and our phones, computers, laptops, ipads…and whatever else we use to connect to a social media resource. Connecting with people online and seeing people in person are both great and both have advantages that the other does not. One doesn’t have to take the place of the other one. Social media allows us to share photos, statuses, posts..and comment, tag each other in ways we can’t do in person and allows us to meet people and reconnect with people we would have never met or encountered again if not for social media. Seeing each other in person is different than seeing each other through a screen, we can hang out, look into each other’s eyes(if we can see), hear each other’s voices(if you’re a hearing person), have coffee, tea, food together, laugh together… They’re both great and we don’t have to give up one for the other. It’s all about balance. You can put your phone away when you’re out with someone in person and just because you “see” that person online everyday doesn’t mean you don’t have/want to see the person in person when you can. Social media doesn’t control you if you don’t allow it to.

2.)  Increases your cravings for attention drastically.

Amanda Rife writes:

“Posting vague statuses on Facebook to grab others attention could easily become a nasty habit for people who use social media frequently. The never ending competition for likes and notifications can consume you.”

My view: What can be said about this (and other points brought up here) goes beyond the scope of this post. Many of these are deep psychological issues/aspects that are issues that can have posts of their own. Example: What Amanda Rife states here is true for some people. They need “likes” and comments and shares to feel validated and they want competition, to get more love than others. But that’s not Social media’s fault. That’s an inner issue of the individual self. Social media just provides us with the opportunity to get that kind of attention, to get “likes,” comments, shares…and while it’s great to have that kind of attention, it’s an honor to know that people like us and our content and there’s nothing wrong with desiring it, it’s an indication of a problem to feel that we need it to make us feel worthy or important. It’s a sign of a psychological problem that needs awareness and tending to if we become literally depressed or anxious or feeling excessively low to the point it seriously affects our lives if we don’t get attention on social media. I think the inner problem is what needs to be addressed, not just push it under the rug by criticizing or getting rid of social media for it. It may be helpful to lay off the social media accounts if we are the kind of person to need attention to validate us. It may be very helpful to stay off twitter, Facebook, Instagram, blogs…but that psychological problem of ours will still be there and may manifest in other ways if we get rid of our social media accounts. It’s not social media, it’s us. Social media can be our wake-up call, to help us realize we have a problem, not caused by social media, but being triggered by the opportunities it allows. We can then use this realization to our advantage, working on and exploring problems we would have not known we have if not for social media bringing our attention to it.

3.) Distracts from life goals.

Amanda Rife writes:

“It’s so easy to get wrapped up in what’s going on in social media that people will neglect their real life goals. Instead of aiming for the dream job by obtaining useful skills people, especially younger people, tend to strive for internet stardom.”

My view: Again, this is something we have complete control over. We can use the Internet and social media for just the opposite, to inspire us and motivate us to fulfill our goals and even come up with new ones. We can meet people, discover new ideas, and have our creativity sparked by the people and things we encounter through social media. Anything can distract us so we don’t work on our goals, TV, work, laziness, and more, we can get wrapped up into anything and become a slacker, not just social media. It’s great and very effective to manage our amount of time spent on each thing that takes up part of each day, not let one take over everyday.

4.) It can lead to a higher risk of depression.

Amanda Rife writes:

“According to recent studies the more people used social media the more negative feelings they experience, including depression. This could partiulalrly harmful to people who have been previously diagnosed with depression. If you beginning to notice you’re feeling down on a regular basis it’s probably time to take a break from your many social media.”

My view: This is probably for different reasons for different people. I suspect one of the the main culprits is negative comparison. We know how our lives really are, every aspect, every event, every thought, every problem…but with everyone else, we only see what they choose to reveal. Some people only reveal the positive aspects of their lives and keep the pain and problems hidden. For some, this is because they want everyone to truly believe they have The Perfect Life, for others it’s not that they want, necessarily, to be judged as having a perfect life, but they fear being judged negatively if they complain on social media outlets, for others still, it’s not at all about coming off as being perfect but they want to use their social media accounts just for uplifting quotes and happy thoughts, as opposed to using them to vent or disclose unpleasant situations or thoughts. They just aren’t drawn to sharing their whole lives, pleasant and unpleasant. When we are struggling and we see photos, posts, and all kinds of happy updates by people who seem to have it all, this can contribute to us feeling low about our own lives. And if we are prone to true depression, it can trigger an episode or the onset of a full blown disorder. A couple of other culprits of social media contributing to depression are cyber- bullying and friend rejection, people blocking and unfriending others, not responding to requests or comments and messages. If you’re prone to depression, this can be a serious trigger. 

Giving up all of social media may be a solution for some but I think the underlying depression and/or insecurity is what mostly needs to be addressed.

5.) Relationships are more likely to fail.

Amanda Rife writes:

“No good comes out of online displays of jealousy and snooping. It may seem like an easy option when it comes to dealing with relationships, but in reality it does more damage than good. In fact, studies show that the more a person uses Facebook the more likely they will be to monitor their partner, which leads to arguments and crumbling relationships.”

My view: Again, this is not social media’s fault but the fault of the persons involved. It’s how we go about handling our circumstances while also using social media. Relationships and the use of social media are compatible. We have to use our common sense about what is wise to do and not do in terms of social media. Or learn what to do and not to do if it’s not common sense to us. It’s all about our underlying insecurities and issues, not the social media. Social media just provides us with the opportunity to see and reveal all kinds of stuff that can bring out our insanity if we allow it to. We don’t need social media to spy on or stalk people, it just makes it easier to engage in those unhealthy things. If we feel a strong desire or need to obsessively monitor our lover every second of every day , the problem is either us or the lover. Maybe I’m very insecure and my lover is trustworthy. Or maybe I’m not overly insecure but he is being really suspicious and there is some reasonable explanation for my monitoring.

But the true underlying problems would likely be there with or without social media because they lie within us. They are what need to be addressed.

6.) Excessive use of social media stunts creativity.

Amanda Rife writes:

“I can speak from personal experience that social media is the easiest way to stunt, or kill, the creative process. Surfing social media sites, especially Tumblr. in this scenario, has a numbing effect on the mind that’s similar to mindlessly watching television. If you plan on being productive today shut off those apps!”

My view: This definitely has some truth to it and the word “excessive” is the key word here. Nothing is good in excessive amounts, that’s why it’s excessive! It’s also about being mindful and active in all that we do. Mindlessly scrolling through a bunch of mindless drivel thrown about by others is bound to numb anyone’s creativity and decrease our IQ a few points! But when we are mindful of what we’re reading or looking at and fully engaged, our creativity can deepen and we can come up with new ideas. While looking at pics on Tumblr, reading blog posts, Facebook statuses, or anything else, it will benefit you to pay close attention to what you are doing, thinking, feeling, reading. Is it serving you well? Is it inspiring you, motivating you, challenging you? Do you feel peaceful, calm, happy? Or is it just mind numbing stuff you’re surfing through because you feel you have nothing better to do? If so, you definitely have better things you can be doing! Finding something else to read or look at, meditate, tune into your surroundings, the scents, the feelings, the sounds, the colors and textures…your possibilities are endless.

7.) Cyber bullying is alive and well.

Amanda Rife writes:

“People feel too comfortable on the web and say things they wouldn’t normally say in real life. If you’re not the one say horrible things, you’re still inevitably going to be exposed to it. And if you are one of the people talking trash? Cut it out! You’re not as anonymous as you think. With the rampant cyber bullying on the web, people are also becoming more rude off the web as well.” 

My view: This is so true. Cyber-bullying is something we have little control over for the most part. For those of us who aren’t cyber-bullies, we still have to witness it or just really negative, uncalled for comments everywhere. Have you seen the YouTube comments on even the most inspiring, positive, beautiful, uplifting videos?! Good grief, they’re horrible. I rarely even read the comments because they’re so dumb and uncalled for. Internet trolls are everywhere and unfortunately here to stay. I suggest you don’t feed them. It’s what they want. So let’s let them starve. They are people who feel so low about themselves and their own lives so they insist on attempting to drag others down with them.

And it can crush our spirit to see even when it’s not happening to us, personally. Being a witness to uncalled for negativity can be so life-draining. But we can develop habits and skills to not let it get to us to the point it’s overwhelming and leads us to depression or anxiety. We can stand un-buffeted against the negative attention seekers who get off on inflicting pain upon others just for thrills. Focus on your own positive qualities and all the love and positivity you receive and remember as much as it sucks being bullied or being the target of cruelty, it has to suck way more being a bully. To sink to that level, there has to be something seriously wrong. Pay the callous comments no mind, I suggest you don’t respond to bullies directly but when you see it happening to someone, you can write positive things to the person to uplift her/him.

8.) Constantly comparing yourself to others online will make you miserable.

Amanda Rife writes:

“The digital persona people display on Facebook is often much different that what actually goes on in their lives. After awhile you may feel like you know your online aquainences better than you do, creating a social gap. Try to remember that everyone is just as human as you are.”

My view: Like I said in response to #4 about depression, negative comparisons aren’t good. It’s not healthy for us. When we’re comparing ourselves negatively to others we’re either making ourselves out to not be as good or making ourselves out to somehow be above the other person/people. It’s uncalled for. We all have good things and bad things and it’s all about our attitude. We can’t control what other people put on social media but we can control our own attitudes and reactions. Like Amanda Rife says, we are all equally human. Focus on the goodness of yourself. Bask in your own beauty while truly, relishing the beauty of others. 

Let other people’s happiness, accomplishments, success, and beauty inspire you and motivate you, not depress you or trigger jealousy.

If you really feel utterly miserable because of someone else on social media accounts, analyze yourself, think about why this is. Do you feel like you are lacking in some respects? Missing out? Then do something to fulfill yourself. It doesn’t matter what others think. Do what you have to to bring joy to yourself as long as you are not hurting or directly interfering with others. And if someone is trying to intentionally make others jealous, unhappy, miserable, you can unfriend, block, ignore that person and get on with your own life.

9.) Loss of sleep.

Amanda Rife writes:

“The light emitted from your various electronic screens tricks your mind into thinking it’s not time for you to sleep. Getting enough sleep each night is already difficult enough without extra complications. Perhaps it’s best if your phone doesn’t stay with you though the night.”

My view: This is true but has nothing to do with social media itself, really. If we have our phones by our side in bed, we may see the little flashing lights, hear beeping or other sounds, or just be so tempted to check Facebook and other things. Over and over and over. But this has to do with discipline. Self control. Get into the habit of sleeping at night, not playing with phones. If it’s really too difficult, the phone can be put in a different room while going to sleep to make the temptation less irresistible.

After a while it becomes a habit. Then it will be easier and easier to resist until eventually your brain is trained to not think of that phone and Facebook or Twitter at night. 

10.) Lack of privacy.

Amanda Rife writes:

“Between social media websites saving (and selling) your personal data and the whole NSA mess involving unsolicited government access of personal data including email, Skype calls, and so much more it’s very clear that privacy and the internet don’t mix at this point in time. If you post every last thought that pops into your head it could just as easily come back to haunt you in the future.”

My view: This is really very simple. Don’t ever put on social media, anywhere including what you think are personal e-mails or inbox messages, what you don’t want everyone to see. Even if your account is blocked so only people on your list can see, someone, somewhere, can get access to it if those people really want to. Once you put something out there, it’s out there for good, somewhere, even if you delete it and it looks like it’s gone. It can be retrieved. People can get into your e-mail box and any other thing you have on the Internet. Whatever you would never want others to see, keep it to yourself or tell someone in person if you can. Any other way is not safe. But this is a choice. When we put something stupid out there, it’s on us. It’s not Social media’s wrongdoing, it’s ours. Many people don’t realize that when we put something out there into cyber-world, it’s here to stay. They think it can be easily removed because there are “delete” buttons so it’s important to educate people.

Social media itself isn’t the problem. It’s how we use it and perceive it. Social media is limited in its power over us. It mostly only has the power we allow it to have. We can empower ourselves to have a healthy, balanced, positive relationship to social media and those people we connect with online.

We can greatly benefit by developing healthy skills and habits and cultivate a positive attitude about ourselves, each other, and social media. Social media provides us with amazing opportunities and has much potential for great things. We don’t have to give it up to avoid all our problems that arise while using it. It’s ourselves we need to work on.

It’s not the use of social media that is the problem, it’s misuse.

I’m very thankful Amanda Rife brought up these important issues. It is crucial to address them in this age of social media where so many feel that it has a power and mind of its own, where people feel like victims in the face of struggles made possible by social media. Social media is a blessing, certainly not without its negative consequences and distress in some cases, but it’s definitely a positive thing if we allow it to be and use it wisely.
,
Xoxo Kim 

Bullying vs. Kindness

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I know bullying in various forms is a common problem these days, bullying of all degrees, minor negative comments said to people occasionally all the way to severe vilification directed at people constantly. As well as threats and physical violence.
This happens not only to young children and teenage children as many believe but even to adults of all ages in the workplace or other places.
This is heartbreaking and tragic.
Everyone makes mistakes, some worse than others. Everyone has something that someone else will perceive as a flaw. Everyone has something that can be pointed out and made fun of. All people are susceptible to being the target of lies being made about them and things being spread about them that may or may not be true.
And everyone is susceptible to bullying for any reason!
The most popular, beautiful, powerful person can become a target for bullying.
And very often bully victims are targets because others are jealous of that person because they feel that person is somehow better or more fortunate even if the victim doesn’t feel that that’s true. Or because the bully is unhappy with his/her own life or self and feels compelled to take it out on someone else.
Please remember that bullying an innocent person no matter what the reason is the bully is doing this for is always, always, *ALWAYS* the bully’s fault, never the victim’s! There’s no such thing as a person bringing this on him/herself for being a certain way.
Just like when a woman is sexually assaulted no matter how she is dressed, intoxicated/drugged/prostitute/promiscuous/flirting or not, out late at night or not, alone or not, it’s always the sexual predator’s fault, never the girl’s.
And one person can convince many, many more people to go along with him/her and torment/bully another person. People often go along with a bully so they themselves don’t become the target of negative attention.
Please remember, if you or someone close to you or someone you know is being bullied at work or school or anywhere, that the victim is not the cause and does not deserve it whether the things being said about the person being bullied are true or not.
No matter the weight of the person, the physical attractiveness, the sexual orientation, skin color, ethnicity, disability, intelligence level, family situation, mistakes the person may have made….or whatever the person does not ever deserve the torment.
If you are being tormented/bullied anywhere for any reason please know and remember it’s not your fault and you never deserve it and no matter who the bully is or how many there are doing this to you, it doesn’t matter, they are no better than you!
They usually feel powerless themselves inside and feel the need to abuse power over others.
And even if you have no close friends now, it’s always possible for you to find wonderful, loving friends later so please keep hope alive and keeping moving forward. You are bigger & better than this.
There are people out there who can love you for you and accept you and everything that you are, flaws and all.
Focus on the people who love you for you and forget the rest.
People who want to hurt you over and over do not deserve you in their lives. You deserve better. ❤ And you *CAN* do better. Even if you have to wait a while. It's worth waiting for.
Remember even if you have what people consider flaws and even if you made mistakes that is ok. You are still a person and do not deserve the bullying. Everyone does things wrong every now and then. Then we move on and forgive ourselves and try to learn.
And just because bullying severely affects you doesn't mean you are weak. Bullying often has severe emotional and long-lasting effects on the victim even years later.
But you can learn to grow, overcome, and heal.

Stay strong and focus on YOU!!! :-). No one is better than you in any way.

X0x0 Kim

P.S. We should all show kindness to others in general and go easy on the negative judging/criticism. We should uplift people, not drag them down. And you never know what battles/pain someone is currently facing and a few kind words can really go a long way for the better and a negative remark can do severe damage. So let's show a little (or a lotta) love. ❤ 🙂