Tag Archive | challenge

{Day 2} 3 Day Quote Challenge

IMG_14169455_1

“It doesn’t matter what anyone talks about, it only matters how deeply you listen.” ~ Matt Kahn 

It’s true, even if something isn’t important or interesting to us, if it is to the one we are interacting with, we can listen attentively anyway. Learn to make what is important to others, important to us at that moment just because it’s important to them. This doesn’t mean specifically but an underlying, general skill to be able to truly tune into what a person is saying to us and care enough about the person to care about what the person cares about at that moment. For example, if my friend is into the latest trends but I’m not generally, I can still make it important to me at that moment s/he talks to me, it doesn’t mean I have to become up to date on all the latest trends or care about it when my friend isn’t talking to me. Some people are naturally good at this but whether or not we are, we can strengthen our attentive listening skills. 

“You simply will not be the same person two months from now after consciously giving thanks each day for the abundance that exists in your life. And you will have set in motion an ancient spiritual law: the more you have and are grateful for, the more will be given you.” ~Sarah Ban Breathnach

“We meet no ordinary people in our lives.” ~ C.S. Lewis

So here is my list of quotes for the second day of the 3 day quote challenge! 

Hugs & love to you!

❤ 😀

xoxo Kim

{Day One} 3 Day Quote Challenge

IMG_14169443_3

(I just love all the Halloween/Fall stuff all around the city these days!)

Devyn at DevynPearle( https://devyncox.wordpress.com/ ) nominated me to participate in the Three Day Quotes challenge! Yay!

https://devyncox.wordpress.com/2015/10/13/day-three-3-day-quote-challenge/

I LOVE quotes!! It’s amazing how we can take an idea or sentiment or philosophy and condense it into a brief sequence of words to inspire and remind us! Quotes can even be life-changing if we meditate upon them and reference them frequently. They can introduce us to ideas we can do further research on and we can use them to uplift others! 

Here are my three quotes for today! 

“You can be greater than anything that can happen to you.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale

“There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.” ~ W.B. Yeats

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” ~
Leo Buscaglia

This isn’t called a “challenge” for nothing! It’s so hard choosing just a few quotes when I have soooo many! I don’t want to leave any out! And I have so many quotes I love equally but cannot list them all here! So I’ll take the few that come to mind first! Quotes are my passion!

Thank you DevynPearle for nominating me to participate! ❤

I hope you are having a lovely day/night wherever you are! 😀
~Huggs~ & love to you!! ❤

Xoxo Kim ❤

30 Days of Photos (challenge) Days 1&2

IMG_14166714

I signed up for a free e-course by Iphone photographer, Kristen Radden!

Everyday for 30 days we are challenged to take a picture of whatever it says that day.
It’s mostly about using smartphones but we can use any camera. Smartphones and ipads are encouraged though.
Some are easy, some a bit more challenging. 
Some easy ones are, animals, friends/family, a mannequin, our own face…one more difficult one is random people. lol Sorry but running up to a random person and taking a pic isn’t my kind of thing! Even if I ask, it seems intrusive or creepy.
Unless I take it of a group of people on the street while I’m in back. So their faces can’t be seen. But I guess being a bit challenging is the whole point!  
One day it’s the rule of thirds which isn’t an object but about position. Whatever we take a picture of should be in a certain position, like the third section of the phone camera, it can be hard if we aren’t accustomed to taking pics that way. But much easier if the phone has a grid, which mine doesn’t. 😦 This is like the one occasion ever that I wish I had an iPhone! 
It seems like every phone cam has a grid but mine! 
The point of the rule of thirds is to not always have the subject in the center, which we often automatically think to do. It’s good to mix it up a bit.

If our phone doesn’t have a grid, we can imagine one and take the pic that way, ummm what?! My imagination isn’t this good!  
So I tried to draw one on my phone with a permanent marker! Bad mistake!
I had no idea what I was doing. 
And did not realize it’s a permanent marker I was using. The word “permanent” is very faded. 

So then I quickly scrubbed/licked it off(you’re welcome to use my phone if you want…lol), luckily it all came off! The licking did not work so I had to scrub it with a paper towel. 
Then I looked it up to see how I can get a grid on my phone and found a forum where someone asked how to get one on blackberry and I couldn’t believe most of the people on there managed to get into a big argument over this! Insults going and all! Over a simple question about a phone camera grid! In the end they decided there’s absolutely no way to get a grid on blackberry camera. If a phone doesn’t come with one, you’re shit outta luck. So much for that one!  And the argument is years old, like almost a decade. It started over people saying insults about the person for being “so stupid” and caring to get a grid on a little phone and not just getting a real camera. 

The main rule for the 30 day challenge is just to take a picture of whatever it says that day. Then if we have a blog we are encouraged to put it on and also on Twitter (which I don’t have except an account my sister set up for me years ago because she wanted to test stuff without using her own, and I never used, not my cup of tea), instagram (which I also don’t have) and to upload the pictures we take to the website for the photo challenge, which I’m not doing. Because it doesn’t work good on my phone. I have a laptop computer now but usually prefer my phone. 

I think it would be good to have another 30 day challenge that is even more challenging where we get pictures of not necessarily an object but of an abstract idea. Like maybe one day can be to get a picture representing “loneliness” or “pain” or “joy” or “cheerfulness” or “in love” or “individuality”…..something like that. It would be so interesting and much more challenging in a good way. 

Here is a picture I took last year to try to convey a message of standing out or individuality. We used to sell these bouncy balls at work and most were blue so I took one pink one and put it with the blue and then slightly blurred out the blue ones. Nothing against blue balls or anything(although the pink ones are prettier!)! Lol I was just trying to portray an abstract concept.  

IMG_14017736_1_1(1)

 
Another great challenge would be 30 days of rules, like each day a different rule of photography to use. Like leading lines, negative space, rule of thirds, composition or perspective…this would be really challenging for people not completely familiar with photography and the various rules relating to it. It would be so fun! Are there even 30 rules though? Who knows?! But we can put our own twists and ideas onto the rules and it would be great! 

I would love to create my own e- course similar to this one and see all the various photos and creativity people tap into. I would make some days easy and some very challenging and there would really be no rules and it would be free for everyone! I probably need some money first, some more education on photography, just by reading and practicing more, and more followers interested, so I have a good amount of people and much diversity! Maybe one day! 😀

For Day #1, which for me was August 1st, so yesterday, the challenge is to get a picture of feet. Lol I got a few.

IMG_14166938_1

IMG_14166945_1

This is me at work. Floor needs a good mopping! It’s my fault. I practically been living here the last few days (weeks actually) with all my extra hours and been slacking on the mopping. 

IMG_14166931_1

This! This isn’t a “feet picture.” lol But my feet are in it! I spilled soda on my shirt, trying to mix stuff together to make a cold s’mores drink with Sprite soda and marshmallow fluff (the non alcoholic s’mores drink – I wasn’t getting my drink on at work or anything, and I don’t drink alcohol anyway) and I managed to spill soda on my shirt, just a drop and then I rubbed it with a wet rag, dreading the big wet spot on my boob. Lol Then I looked and saw it blended into a heart! Whoaa! Amazing! 😀 ❤ I find love everywhere I am.  (btw, I failed at making the drink…lol it just turned into slop)

And this wasn't taken on August first but it's still a "feet pic" and my doggy's cute paws are in it! Aww ❤

IMG_14166120(1)_1

This was taken over a week ago, it's my new pink slippers! I had black ones but my twin pups chewed them! Lol 

IMG_14166744_1

IMG_14166974_1

of course my feet photo collection isn’t complete without a couple pics of me in stilettos!!

IMG_14166971_1
August 2nd – today the rule is to get a pic of a tree!

Here goes:

IMG_14166987

This is the gum tree outside of work! People just got into the habit of sticking their gum onto it through the years. People have even bought gum at the store here, just to chew and stick to the tree. Fun and interesting? or just disgusting? Poor tree! 

Through the years I have witnessed many parents yelling in horror as their kids were touching it. Lol It probably attracts like every virus in the book, sore throat germs, common colds, influenza, small pox (ok maybe not that one..), zombie infection?, probably not that one either (hopefully!)…. One day years ago, a little boy touched it and his dad screamed "you're going to get Hep. C. & HIV!!!!!!!" I couldn't help but laugh, I don't think those things are likely to be contracted through a gum tree. But I'm no expert on infectious diseases so I wouldn't listen to me! 

IMG_14166989

This is the tree in my neighbors' backyard! 
I'm always taking pictures of it in every season, standing in my own yard. It has heart-shaped leaves in Spring & Summer, pretty purple/pink, fragrant flowers in May(my dog, Emmy got one that fell in our yard one year and brought it to my mom on Mother’s Day! lol He just went out and got it and brought it in to her!), and in Fall & Winter I can often see stars through the bare branches through my bedroom window.

And this was taken Thursday.

143849334091761(8)

Tomorrow I will be posting the pic for Day #3, if technology isn't screwing around with me like it has been.  Tomorrow is the rule of thirds. I don't know about this! But I'll try it!

I love how this project encourages us to tap into our creativity, it has very little rules so we can be creative with angles, effects, concepts…

And it's something fun and new each day! 

If you're into picture taking, maybe you want to join too?! It's at your own pace and you can begin whenever you want. If you decide to or are already in the process, let me know! I want to see your pictures! 😀

30 Day Photo Challenge e-course

I hope you’re having a fantastic day! 

xoxo Kim 😀

Fun facts about meeee <3

image

I saw a random blog challenge “get to know me facts” and I love to get to know people and love listing random, useless, but fun facts about me! So here goes!

I did a couple of these before too.
;-D

1.) I love dogs (and all animals) and have six! Three boys and three girls. They are my princes and my princesses! They are the center of my universe and are the most spoiled little things! Four of them sleep in bed with me regularly at night and sometimes five do. They steal my blankets and pillows and it’s annoying but also adorable and I let them keep them.  I’m quite serious when I say my world revolves around them. Lol I usually make sure whatever food I’m eating is safe for dogs so when they’re begging I can give them some even if I prefer a different kind of food that they can’t have! My family celebrates their birthdays and all the anniversaries when they were adopted or came to live with us! They get their own Christmas stocking and everything they want. I wouldn’t have it any other way!

image

image

image

image

image

image

2.) I’m a very shy extrovert but probably live more like an introvert. I  would love being surrounded  with people day and night if I had the opportunity but I can be just as happy being in my room reading, meditating, or listening to music alone. I love people but also love my own company

3.) I have almost always had a positive body image. When I was a little girl I thought people on TV could see me through the screen and I thought they thought I was the most adorable thing. I had a short denim skirt that was my favorite and I would put it on and dance around the room, showing off, while watching TV, especially that old movie “Pillow Talk” (it was my favorite movie) so they would all see how beautiful I was! Lol

4.)  I don’t watch tv because I just have no interest but I love the TV show “King of Queens” when it’s on in my house. It’s so funny! I have the theme song on my phone! 

5.) My favorite music is Oldies music. Like old old. I’m not talking about 70’s or 80’s although I like some of that too. I’m talking about 50’s music and also 60’s. Ooollllddd ass music! Lol Oldies was my favorite for as long as I can remember but I used to be too embarrassed to tell people, especially other kids, until I was in college. As a teenager I would look up lyrics to all the “coolest” and latest songs just so I was able to join conversations with other kids about music and act like I loved all the same music. I wouldn’t dare spill my dirty little secret that I only listened to those Oldies but goodies! I even used to change the dial on my handheld radio when I put it down in case anyone picked it up and “caught me” listening to oldies. Lol! Now I will proudly scream it off the rooftops. I don’t care what they say I won’t live in a world without Oldies! (I think I shared this fact on here previously somewhere!) 

6.) I love so much when I’m selected for jury service. I love every single thing about it. I love the criminal justice building, center city Philadelphia, learning about the process, the juror sticker, the lunch break, the chairs, the people, the forms, the TV screens, the hallways and rooms, the feel of it, the big room, all the energy I feel being surrounded by all those people ….i would volunteer every week if I could. I wish I were selected every year instead of every other year.  I was never selected as a juror and I am so disappointed. 😦 I always wanted a civil case but criminal ones are interesting too.  
I heard if someone gets put on a trial the person may not get selected again for like over a decade so maybe it’s good I don’t so I don’t  have to go that long without being called again! Most people I hear of try to go to great lengths to get out of it. I would go to great lengths to get into it. Lol like maybe coming up with a fake last name just to get selected more than once every other year! ;-D

“It’s your turn!” lol

7.) I think it would be so amazing to be a lawyer. And I’m good at debating. I can blow your mind with my skills. Lol If I were going to I would like to be a criminal defense attorney. 

8.) I always thought I would love to be a model. To try different hair and clothing styles, expressions and makeup and poses! So fun!

9.) When I was a little girl and wouldn’t get what I wanted (which was rare- my mom over spoiled me!) or things wouldn’t go my way, I would often run around on my ankles all angry, like bend them and run all around, even in school!  Now my ankles collapse unexpectedly on various occasions and I just fall or almost fall. My mom and me laugh hysterically and my mom is convinced it’s because of doing that when I was a kid. If so, I guess it serves me right for being a spoiled little bitch!

10.) I am so easily amused over the dumbest things all throughout everyday even when I’m not in a happy mood and it gets me into trouble but it’s ok, at least I’m having fun and it’s uplifting to be this way! I am so annoyed when I’m angry at someone but also amused and I cannot stop laughing because then it makes it so people probably won’t take my anger seriously! 

11.) I love dark poetry better than the happy kind – not because I’m sad and dark, I’m not usually dark and gloomy and even when I’m happy I love it! I’m just in tune with the dark side. It’s beautiful to capture the darker side of life in photos or poetic writing. But I love happy songs, movies and endings to books, usually better than sad ones.

12.) I’m very interested in things that have to do with law. Philosophy of law is a fascinating subject!

13.) I sit around completing logic problems just for fun and I have as much fun as people when they’re on vacation or traveling, just doing this! It gives me the greatest thrill! 

14.) I don’t drink alcoholic beverages ever and the only reason is it doesn’t appeal to me just like certain food doesn’t. I’m not morally against it or afraid of becoming addicted, although addiction runs in my family severely. I never had more than a few sips in my whole life and that was years ago. 
But alcoholic bottles, cans, and signs are some of my favorite things to takes photos off. Along with cigarette packs.

image

I found this under a bridge one night.

15.) I’m not afraid very easily and generally not prone to anxiety. I’m not afraid of needles or blood or hospitals or surgery or rodents or insects or anything. And I have a strong stomach and don’t get queasy over that stuff. 

16.) I would never go skydiving or bungee jumping and roller coasters terrify me. Hell no! Lol I guess it kind of contradicts the above fact! 

17.) I love holidays but I don’t go all out to celebrate, only in my head. I love the feel and I just bask in the energy, sense of unity in the air,  and decorations and beauty all around during the holiday seasons!

18.) I’m not very thoughtful with buying gifts. Some people are so good at choosing the most personalized, touching gifts. Not me. I have no idea what to buy people. My thoughtfulness manifests better in my words or intention to help in some ways, I’m good at writing and expressing my appreciation or well wishes for people even if it’s just a brief Facebook message or blog comment…or thinking of little details that may help make something easier for someone.

19.) I don’t have an aversion to any part of the body, mine or anyone else’s. I see/hear of so many people who claim to not stand people’s feet, even their own (it’s strange how many people I see writing this! Like it’s a trend now or something?). Ummm…it’s part of the body, the way it’s made to be. And some people are disgusted over brain or stomach related things like the acid or fluid! Again, it’s part of the beautiful human anatomy! Not disgusting. Lol
Imagine not having those things! We would be in trouble! The whole body is beautiful. 

20.) I wear old fashioned kind of clothes I guess. No leggings or skinny jeans for me! I love only flare pants and low cut shirts. The same kind of clothes I have been wearing for over a decade. I also don’t care that my bra straps often show even though I see people making fun of girls online for their under garments showing. Lol

21.) I go out with my hair wet right after a shower. I read about a study that says most people perceive girls who go out with wet hair as being lazy and sloppy. Oh well, I am lazy and sloppy, think what you will! 😀

22.) I have a strange memory. I can remember birth dates and other dates extremely well and I can remember facts really good but I cannot for the life of me remember to do things I’m supposed to do or all the things I’m supposed to buy at a store. I can’t remember phone numbers either, including my own!

23.) my mom says I have the mentality of a man which she thinks is disgusting and she’s convinced I was a man “in another life.” I like “dirty” songs and memes. I think perverted jokes are hilarious and things that have to do with bodily functions and text them to her just to freak her out. I can be very immature. Lol

24.) In high school, I had perfect attendance all four years, not one day missed. I loved school and rarely got sick. No matter how much pain I was in, how tired I was, how badly I wanted to roll over and go back to sleep, how horrible the weather was….i got up and out the door. There were even some days my mom encouraged me to stay home like if there was a snowstorm but school was still in session or when I would be in severe head/face pain which was related to my pain disorder but I did not know back then, but I was determined to soak up every day of school I could. Luckily I never had anything serious like influenza or something where I would have had to stay home or I would have put everyone else in danger because I wouldnt risk getting others sick! So it’s all because of my health and my determination. At our graduation, three of us had perfect attendance all four years. More did for three, more for two, and even more for one year.

image

and there’s this as well:

image

It seems I have a thing for showing up.

25.) physical description: I’m 5 feet 5 inches and always wished I was taller but I love wearing 5 or 6 inch stilettos and I feel super tall when I do! And I love it! I have blue eyes with a large green splash in each one. So when I wear green eye shadow or green shirts, my eyes usually look completely green. I have long hair, a bit longer than waist length and it’s naturally a medium shade of brown with natural orange and blond highlights. Some lighting can make it look more blonde while others can make it look more red/orange. But it’s brown. I love it and never put hair dye in it. I don’t change my hair style ever, I never get tired of it. I just trim it occasionally. 

image

26.) I never needed glasses or contacts but I think glasses are cute and if I needed glasses I would choose them over contacts. Also, less dangerous even though they probably have more complications than contacts. 

27.) I have always loved brown eyes. They are so warm and lovely. But I think all colors are pretty.

28.) I don’t really plan things and don’t mind having plans change at the last minute or planning things on the spur of the moment. I’m easy-going and procrastinate with things and am messy and disorganized. I’m not a perfectionist(although sometimes I wish I were perfect – whatever “perfect” is.). It’s not all good but it’s also a lot less negative stress to be this way, I think, than one of these “type A personalities.”

29.) I love when there’s something I swore up and down I would never like, do, or wear then I come to love it! Example: flats. I always disliked flat shoes and said I would never wear them. Ever. I thought they were ugly and just Eww but now I love flats and have a few pairs. I actually had many pairs but my dog chewed them along with a few pairs of my stilettos! Also, cheeses fries with ketchup on them! Eww! I used to see kids eating them in high school and it was disgusting! Then one day in college I ordered cheese fries at one of the window stands and clearly said no ketchup when they asked and they put ketchup on but I was so hungry I tried them and loved them! And I promised I would never read fiction books. I thought it was a waste and only wanted to read education stuff now I LOVE fiction after reading a fiction book just because I liked the title and it inspired me to try more now I’m hooked! And I love how fiction isn’t restrained by the rules of reality even in realistic novels and anything can go!

30.) I’m extremely forgiving and probably couldn’t hold a grudge if my life depended on it, especially when people say sorry or appear to be sorry. It comes very naturally to me, it’s not even like I have to make it a point to try to forgive usually, it just comes easily, automatically. But sometimes it doesn’t and I accept or work on it. 

31.) I’m also extremely trusting to the point I’m stupid. And I trust the same people over and over and over no matter what they keep doing.

32.) I believe people are basically good. Some go above and beyond the goodness of the average person and most everyone does not good stuff now and again but I believe deep inside we’re pretty much all good.

33.) I am very easy to please. Very, very. I’m satisfied with nearly every movie I watch, every book I read, all the food I consume, every gift I receive. But once in a while(rarely) I do read a book I dislike and am not used to the feeling it provokes in me. I recently purchased a book about a Christmas story and a mystery baby and it really isn’t that good. It made no sense to me, like the point. I have some sense of it though. And also it just isn’t that interesting and I felt that my night was wasted because I stayed up all night reading it just to find out the answer to the mystery. I usually just stop reading when a book isn’t good but I wanted to see the big mystery! And it was a disappointment anyway! 
Lol I don’t care about the wasted money and anyway it was only $1.00 and someone is probably being helped by the money that goes to the book so that’s good. It’s my wasted night I can’t get back. But it’s not really “wasted.” It was my choice and I would never have known if not for staying up reading. I love thinking back even a long while later, to when I read certain books and the feelings they bring back. 

34.) Greasy food is heaven to me, the greasier the better!! I love Mcdonald’s french fries but they were better when they were more greasy and less healthy, they tasted better but now they got healthy I think. Still delicious though. I think our president’s wife got to them with her health freak ways! Lol

35.) Coca Cola is my favorite soda!! I drink it everyday! I think it’s the least healthy soda too. I drink water at night now and early in the morning more than soda but all day it’s Coca Cola all the way! I can tell the difference right away with Pepsi and Coca Cola. Many people say they taste the same. Not to me! Pepsi is weaker. And less and different flavor. And I take pictures of Coca Cola trucks whenever I see one! 

fm-1414515373

fm-1415127993

36.) I love animated, kiddie movies like Toy Story, Arthur Christmas, and the Nightmare Before Christmas!! My dog is named Woody after the doll in Toy Story. It’s actually Dagwood and we call him Woody! He’s less than four months old!

IMG_14045484

37.) I’m not a crier(sp?) for me, it’s not my cup of tea. No matter how happy, joyful, sad, or depressed I am, I will not cry over it. I have breakdowns but only in my head. Lol I am good at remaining calm and composed. I experience deep sensation/emotion but it doesn’t provoke me to cry. The only thing that can have me wanting to scream and sob hysterically out loud is a certain kind of physical pain. 

” Raindrops keep fallin’ on my head
But that doesn’t mean my eyes will soon be turning red
Crying’s not for me
Cause I ain’t gonna stop the rain by complaining” ~ Bj Thomas

38.)  When I was a little girl, I had a bad habit of picking stuff up off the ground. Anything I could get my hands on. My mom used to scream in horror over the stuff I picked up. Unsanitary stuff, leaves, earrings, pins, old razor blades, hospital bracelets, stones, acorns and pine cones…sadly I haven’t outgrown that habit for some reason. Not so long ago I picked up a tube of something thinking it was paint. It was testosterone gel, that stuff advertised on commercials warning women and children not to touch. I touched it. 

image

(a little something I found under a bridge one night – it’s empty and I don’t smoke cigarettes)

39.) I like to dance around my room late at night and very early in the morning while the world around me is sound asleep. I listen to music and dance dance dance…usually gratitude meditations can trigger this.

😀

Xoxo Kim


Random parts of me <3

image

A while ago I did a blog “challenge” called “If you really knew me…” (https://inspirationalgem.wordpress.com/2013/01/12/if-you-really-knew-me-3/ )
which is a list of things about the person that people may or may not know. I decided to do another one with more random facts about me! 😀

If you really knew me, you would know….

 I’m not aL ways a realist. I’m a dreamer. For example if I were to get married and I were also rich and the man I was marrying isn’t rich, I wouldn’t sign one of those prenuptial things saying he can’t have half of my fortune if our marriage were ever to dissolve. I wouldn’t believe or want to ever believe our love would ever end. It’s realistic to know that marriages, relationships, love…ends but I prefer to live with my head in the clouds knowing our love isn’t going anywhere but deeper into each other’s hearts and there’s no need to prepare in the case of a future divorce. And I believe my love is usually unconditional and that I would still love and want him to share in my riches and I want to believe he wouldn’t milk me for all I have that he would love me unconditionally still and not want to take everything just because we’re breaking up. Also, if I were a girl planning to get inked, I wouldn’t be against getting my man’s name tattooed onto my body. So many people are dead set against getting a lover’s name marked onto them. But not me! And if we broke up and he took everything and I was stuck with his name scarred onto me, I would still be happy I risked it all for love. That’s true living, true loving. I live in some utopia. And I wouldn’t have me any other way! 😀

I love the sounds of the city especially at night. The cars and voices and laughing, the music…It all stands out to me in a profound, beautiful way. I love laying in bed late at night and hearing people out in the back or out in the streets, talking and laughing and living. There’s something amazing about knowing that people are awake and alive while I’m in bed at night. 

Rain is one of the greatest loves of my life. Sometimes I can’t quite find the words to describe the depth of joy it brings me and the thrill that surges through me when it rains. Or even looks or feels like it may rain.  I am exhilarated by the mere thought of rain. I feel so alive in the rain. So secure. So liberated. Whenever I walk in rain or mist I am completely free. No matter what may be going on, no matter what fears or concerns are troubling me then, they disappear into the rain. Every insecurity I have that comes and goes, temporarily, goes out the window when I walk alone with raindrops pelting upon my soft skin, streaking my long hair, kissing every inch of me. 
And I become the rain.
Something about it is so protective like nothing bad can ever happen to me when it’s raining. The sounds, the scents, the tastes, the feel, the look…it’s all so perfect. 

Dreams – I often remember my dreams, always have. I rarely have nightmares, almost never.  Sometimes my dreams know things before I do in life, and they send their wisdom to me during my slumbering hours. Sometimes I don’t consciously realize something or I’m convinced of something that isn’t true and I go to sleep and it’s there that the answers manifest. Sometimes I get depressed and suicidal and believe I want so desperately to die and I sleep and I dream. This recurring dream that comes often when I’m depressed. A Dream that someone is trying to kill me and in my dream I desperately want to live. In my dream I do everything to survive, whatever it takes. I run, hide, do things that are impossible in my reality, I find solutions when I think there are none. The emotion, the desperation, the Will is so strong, so overwhelming. So real. When I wake up I know what this dream is telling me. To live.
Once, I had a dream about myself. I was torn about a decision I made. I wasn’t sure what to do. Deep inside me I felt that I knew the truth but still wasn’t sure. I felt a voice deep inside me, I heard it say to listen to my intuition, to surrender to that pull, that tugging deep within, it always knows what I need, want, desire, crave. It knows best. My deep wisdom inside me, in places I’m not all conscious of, knows what’s best for me. It whispers quietly, gently, waiting for me to receive. Waiting for me to welcome it with a completely open heart and let it sink deeper into me.
When the uncertainty and pain and negativity and fears and defeat and demands of society, life, and others are screaming loudly, blood-curdling screams, that quiet, gentle whispering wisdom is more powerful, still.
I’ll never forget that dream and I carry it with me, every day.
My sleepy dreams are why I have a B.A. Degree in philosophy.

image

Cold – I get cold so easily. In 100 degree weather a light wind can blow and I can become freezing wishing I had a hoodie. I also can’t tolerate cold like most people can. Although cold weather is some of my favorite weather. I’m always wanting to turn the air conditioning off, open windows to let the warmth of the sun stream in. One morning, recently, I woke up in my bed in 80 something degree weather wrapped in three quilts with my air conditioner turned as low as possible and my bedroom door wide open with just a ceiling fan swirling.

I’m a city girl and no place will ever have my heart more than my own city but for my whole life I have felt drawn to the countryside, to the warm South. I have always loved Texas though I  never laid eyes on it. I will visit one day and make it a point to visit again and again.
I always dreamed of Texas and I feel a deep pull in me to be there. I yearn for the quietude, the green, the southern accents, the nature all around…my dream is to live there part of every year, probably in the Summer. One day a novel found its way into my arms completely randomly and unlikely, like magic, and I read it and it takes place in Texas and is one of my favorite books and made me want even more to go there.
I also feel drawn to Aspen, Colorado and my dream is to visit some Winter again and again. I long for the cold, the glistening snow, the pine.
I find it so beautiful how I can be so deeply drawn, mysteriously called to people, places, and things and not know why at a conscious level but something deep inside me must know.

I have a strong stomach and like to seriously gross people out just for shits and giggles. My mom and sister don’t have such strong stomachs and when I see or think of something that I know would make them disgusted or queasy I burst out laughing and run to tell them. One day my dog threw up and as I was cleaning it, I described to them, in great detail,  the contents of it and said “MmmmMmm this is making me hungry…!” they were so disgusted and appalled. 

I think everything is hilarious. I laugh everyday and play annoying, immature jokes on people. Taking my mom’s phone when she isn’t looking, talking in silly voices to my sister that annoys her, sending dumb or perverted jokes in text messages….lol

I love poetry, especially obscure poetry with a kind of darkness to it. I love when the meaning of the poem isn’t very obvious but seems to make some kind of sense. When the author doesn’t explain it and allows the readers to interpret however they will and guess and wonder at the author’s intention or just make up their own meaning to it.. I like to write poetic things which have a certain meaning to me but if I allowed someone to read them I would like the person to apply his/her own meaning.

I love to read and am deeply inspired by just about everything I read. My brain hungrily devours the words and concepts on the pages. When I read novels I fall in love with the characters and the places in the books. I miss them when the book is over. And days, weeks, years later I still cherish the memories of reading certain books that have spoken volumes to my heart and living in the book’s world when I did. I find reading to be very comforting. To be wrapped up in another world, another place, another time.  I am sad when the book ends. I feel a kind of emptiness. 
But I like it. I love being touched so deeply.
Before I usually wouldn’t even read novels. I saw no point. I only wanted educational stuff but I’m happy I changed. I was really, really missing out. I love books with profound messages, valuable life lessons, beautiful writing, characters with true substance, page turners that I’m happy to fall asleep with and thrilled to wake up to.

If the only way I were able to live is to be supported with feeding tubes and plugged into machines, I would still choose life not because I’m afraid to die or let go but because I have a will to survive and my life can still be beautiful and valuable even if I need extra help.
Brain dead, which is often as good as dead, is not the same as brain damaged or disabled. So if I’m not brain dead in significant ways I would choose life.

Sometimes I have difficulty sleeping at night because of happy thoughts. Thoughts that are so overwhelmingly positive I want to get up and dance, jump for joy, blast sappy love songs into the night, because I’m bursting with love and gratitude for all of life. Because I just read a good book or am in the middle of reading one, because I can’t stop thinking about wonderful inspirational, uplifting quotes I have come across, because I think of sunsets and sunrises and life itself, because I think of beautiful people I know, have known, and want to know, because my music won’t stop playing to let me rest….sometimes I actually do get up at 1:00 or 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning and dance around my room in the dark with my earphones in or dance in the bathroom and it annoys my sister when she comes through my room to get into the bathroom and I’m in there bouncing off the walls. I’m not manic, just happy. 😀 i find it not in my best interest to do gratitude meditations, even sleep ones, at night because they keep me up with all the goodness that comes flooding into me. I’m just bursting at the seams some nights, like a child who can’t sleep because she wants to get up and play.

I can fall asleep anywhere and sleep through anything, on a public transportation bus with screaming kids, on the floor of a crowded public place, outside, in class when I was in college(I got in trouble more than once for sleeping in class), with music blasting, at someone else’s house, with dogs barking….lol
And if I get woken up I can easily go right back to sleep.

I struggle with a chronic physical facial pain disorder and also a Depressive Disorder but in general I’m very happy and joyful, with a childlike wonder for life. When the disorders flare up, I can cope very well now, usually. I’m naturally very happy but also I learned to strengthen and develop positive habits and life philosophies to help me even more. My pain is often my main inspiration to write here and I write about it a lot in a positive way. I learned and am still learning many positive life lessons and always discovering deep wisdom inspired by the pleasant and unpleasant aspects of life.
My pain culminates to unbearable levels at some points but my love is always stronger.

I think lives that have good, bad, beautiful, and ugly aspects are the most beautiful. Some people want to be “perfect” with no pain, no problems, nothing but good. It makes sense but in my opinion it also makes for a shallow kind of existence. I would never go out looking for or bringing pain upon my self or anyone else intentionally but since it does exist, I find the beauty in it and embrace it all. There is depth and substance in a life of pain and happiness, joy and misery, beauty and tears, laughter and ugliness. I’m more beautiful for it all.

I love when people are raw and open and honest about themselves and share their life story, proudly displaying their names and faces, not holding back. It’s deeply inspiring to see/hear/read people spilling their lives and hearts to all who will
listen. I want people to know my name, to know me, the good, the bad,the ugly,the beautiful

“What would happen if one woman told the truth about her life?
The world would split open.” ~  Muriel Rukeyser

Xoxo Kim

image

Summer Lovin’ <3

image

Summer is my least favorite season. It’s the one season I wish were much shorter than the rest. I don’t wish it were non existent. Mostly because I think it makes Fall even more thrilling after a long hot summer ends. But I still like Summer and having four seasons. I feel that it’s a blessing to live in a place where we have it all, warm, hot, cold, cool, rain, snow, sleet, thunderstorms, blizzards, lightening…. To me, Fall & Winter possess endless things to be joyful about.  Things that warmer seasons don’t have where I live. I’m mostly happy all year. But Fall & Winter bring many more things to be joyful about. I love the themes. The holiday themes, the crisp and colorful leaves, pine, and snow themes. Cozy nights and hot cocoa. Pumpkin coffee, tea, and pie. Cool nights, hoodies, blankets, big fluffy warm pjs….I will never understand how someone can not love all that! Lol 🙂
And I love when Winter melts into Spring and the world around me is born again after a long cold dreary Winter. Spring is symbolic of hope, new beginnings, and rebirth. Life blooms all around. It’s perfect. Not freezing and not usually too blazing hot.
Summer is just kind of blah. Like an extremely hot Spring long after the world has first bloomed around me.  
Summer gives me headaches and melts my reesse cups! Eww

I am still generally happy and joyful in the summer but there’s not as many specific summer themes that thrill me like the other seasons. Poor summer just doesn’t have as much of my heart. There are definitely some rare bitter winter days I desperately wish were summer but usually not.

 I’m not miserable or depressed all summer just because I don’t like it as much but I do catch myself sometimes making mental lists of all the reasons Summer kind of sucks.

Lol

Last week though I received a lovely e-mail called “Summer Lovin'” which is a list of 23 things about Summer that Dani DiPirro of Positively  Present has to smile about.

(http://www.positivelypresent.com/2014/07/summer-lovin.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+PositivelyPresent+(positively+present) )

At first I thought her post was about loving Summer because she really loves the season. And I still got the idea to create a list to turn something less than positive into something positive but I soon realized that Summer is not her favorite season either. She did what I thought of, turned her unhappiness about something into happiness! 😀

This is perfect for me because it’s just what I need to uplift my spirits about something I’m not usually head over heels in love with! I think we can all benefit by this habit. When there’s something you aren’t too thrilled about whether you just aren’t crazy in love with it or you outright detest it, try making a list if you can, even if you have to struggle hard, of anything you can think of that is some way good or positive or benefits you, even if you would prefer not to have it and just not have the benefits. You’re stuck with it so take those benefits and run with it! 

Here’s my list of Summer Smiles 😀

1.) My hands don’t swell up and aren’t cut open in the summer. My skin is smooth and regular. I usually would prefer Winter and just suck it up that the cold damages my sensitive skin but I can’t help that it’s summer so I will bask in my lovely smooth hands while I have them. Lol

2.) the almost constant sun and long daylight. I don’t like excessive heat but sun is good for us. Not too much but a lot of daylight is good. It’s uplifting and it’s often easier to sit outside and do some walking in the sun than in the unforgiving bitterness of Winter air. Daylight has a positive effect on our brain chemistry whereas colder, darker weather can have the opposite effect, resulting in depression or low moods for some people. When I’m out walking in the winter it often feels urgent usually. Like I have to hurry up and get where I’m going, out of this cold.

3.) there’s so much to take photos of out in Nature when it’s all warm and bright. Bare tree branches, gray skies, and snow and all are very beautiful. But after a while it seems to me there isn’t much else. Especially with just a cell phone camera. It often can’t capture the beauty of barrenness as well as a professional or advanced camera. In summer there’s an abundance of color and life all around! It looks brilliant captured by any camera!

image

4.) carnivals and amusement parks! That’s unheard of in Winter and just wouldn’t be as fun!

image

image

5.) summer magic in the air. All four seasons have their own kind of lovely magic that is different than the other three. Just a “feel” in the air.

6.) people watchin’. People come out half dressed in excessive heat. And are fun to watch. Lol  and I like not having to be all covered up all day.

7.) dog walkin’ – all the doggies are out walking and in dog parks!

8.) I would say vacations but I’m not the biggest fan of going on vacation. I like where I am. But everyone else seems to love vacations and going away. So I’m happy for them. I can just imagine the thrill you must feel going away if you’re someone who loves it. I’m usually the opposite. I feel a thrill coming back home! Lol

9.) sitting outside in the chairs of pretty restaurants under umbrellas, sippin’ sweet delicious iced tea with friends!

10.) ice cream, iced tea, water ice and Popsicles. These are good all year but Summer somehow manages to make them more appealing. Just like hot tea, coffee, and cocoa are good all year but more inviting in Fall & Winter in my opinion.

image

11.) I work at an ice cream shoppe all year but it’s more active in Summer so I have more chances to interact with various people!

12.) it’s not freezing cold. I usually prefer freezing cold over disgusting humidity and excessive heat but I don’t want excessive cold either. But when it’s hot and I prefer cold I can still be thankful I’m not freezing. Just like if it’s way too cold and I prefer heat I can still be thankful I’m not burning up. Talk about positive thinking! ;-D

13.) jumping into an ice cold shower or walking into an air conditioned room after walking in out of scorching heat! Feelin’ good! :-p

14.) the vibrant blue sky and fluffy white clouds

15.) being in a car with the windows down and warm wind blowing through my long hair

16.) walking in warm rain

image

17.) the Ocean is healing and beautiful 

18.) laying in lush green grass soaking up the scents of summer 

19.) fireflies

image

(I took this pic of fireflies one night!)

20.) laying out at night watching the stars

21.) It’s not flu season!!! I never had influenza but lots of people around me have. It doesn’t look fun! :-O

image

22.) citrus & tropical scents are some of my favorites and are sweeter in the summer!!

23.) I love summer colors like peach, pastels, yellow, orange…they can be worn all year but certain things are just more magical in certain seasons! Like these colors in the summer!

image

24.) strappy stilettos – in the summer, your toes won’t freeze off if you wear them and there won’t be slippery ice, sleet, and snow!

25.) Summer sales! Yesterday at Bath & Body Works, my friend and me got all kinds of goodies for way less money! I got two delicious body lotions for less than seven dollars that really would have been about 22 dollars! All citrus & tropical and other summery scents are on sale now!  

image

I never realized I would be able to come up with so many summer positives! It wasn’t even hard! Once I got my brain on track to see the cheer and joy of Summer, it all just start flowing to me!

And I was sitting at the kitchen table actually feeling the summer magic and possibilities  come flooding into me after writing this list. I realize on various occasions how creating happy lists can really uplift me even more than I anticipated. It’s even better than mere mental lists! Something about writing out all the goodness really has an amazing uplifting effect! 

It really is a good habit to get into, everyday just writing a list of things to be happy about!
😀

Xoxo Kim 😀

 

My sweet, looong List of Happy. <3 :-D

image

I recently stumbled across a blog post about “List of Kinds of People I Seriously Hate”

And to my dismay I am on that list! Lol Well not me personally but one of the kinds of people she “seriously hates.” lol How rude!

;-D

She seems like a very outspoken girl though who is very sure of herself and isn’t afraid to state her views and just be herself, not fearing what others will think or say about who she is. And I think that’s generally something to be appreciated and respected so I wasn’t too annoyed and she also loves animals so that’s alright with me!  Anyway, she can’t stand girls who wear low cut shirts, especially when they post pics of themselves and that’s totally me! She said it’s totally slutty and any girl like that will be taken right off her newsfeed or any social media list! But it’s just my style is all! Always has been, always will be! ;-D

She said her and her friends tried to write a list of happy things and it was so much harder than writing the list of negative things.  

It surprised me that so many agreed with her. I’m the opposite.   I find it so much easier thinking of things I love. I only planned on writing like 20 something things and just couldn’t stop!   Now it’s way over 100!

But when I try to write a list of things I don’t much care for, I get stuck before even getting to ten usually!   Lol! I guess I’m a little too accepting or easy going?! 😀
Mostly the things on my negative list are : unjust discrimination, animal cruelty, prejudicial attitudes, abuse, homicide….things like that. 

Also, I think “happy lists” are often more unique than “sad lists” because the unhappy lists are often universal. If you think about it, who really does like unjust discrimination, diseases, sore throats, child or domestic abuse, homicide…? Pretty much no one.  

But not everyone loves the color pink or rainbows or babies! 

So happy lists are quite unique.

Inaccurate grammar, Girls who do the duck face, post pics of their messy kids and food all day, piss and moan about their drama, are slutty, post 50, million pics of themselves in restrooms, half dressed, political rants…..don’t annoy me. I don’t mind seeing their stuff or whatever.   Whatever floats your boats, girls! Lol

I’m not the most judgmental girl in the world which also means I don’t really judge people too hard who judge me negatively.   I’m mostly, understanding of your lack of understanding, compassionate even with your lack of compassion, empathetic for your lack of empathy, accepting of your lack of acceptance.

I don’t like it much but it is what it is, right?!

🙂 

Anyway, though, Here’s my list of happy!
Inspired by that girl’s list of not so happy! Lol

1.) animals

2.) shopping for makeup, clothes, books

3.) iced coffee especially when it’s really sweetened 

4.) meeting people I never met before

image

5.) finding new quotes, songs, and poems that resonate with me in a deep way

6.) snowstorms and the first snowfall of the season

7.) When the seasons are changing to the next one – it’s something magical

8.) photography

9.) looking into a mirror and loving who/what I see

10.) the feeling of accomplishment, even if it’s something small

11.) making someone smile

12.) random acts of kindness

13.) helping someone 

14.) the way it feels to put on comfy pj’s and fall into bed after a long day

15.) hot tea

16.) cake

17.) rain

18.) Hello Kitty

19.) journals and stationary stuff

20.) blogs

21.) my long hair

22.) gentle summer breezes

23.) all the different shades of green that appear throughout Spring & Summer

24.) novels and plays with deep, profound meanings

25.) poetry 

26.) getting a new handbag

27.) learning a new life lesson or being reminded of ones I previously learned

28.) salt n vinegar chips

29.) babies!

30.) art journaling 

31.) walking in warm or cool weather 

32.) seeing people happy and doing well

33.) friends

34.) mindfulness meditation and activities 

35.) Buddhist teachings 

36.) philosophy 

37.) dreams while I’m sleeping and remembering them when I wake up

38.) being aware of beauty all around 

39.) my senses

40.) restaurants

41.) gratitude 

42.) parks 

43.) beautiful buildings 

44.) kind strangers 

45.) Oldies songs, country songs, love songs 

46.) Happy songs and sad poetry 

47.) the sky

48.) the moon

49.) getting caught in the rain

50.) taking a picture that turns out more perfect than I expected 

51.) love of all kinds, romantic, platonic, universal

52.) walking through a large shopping mall

53.) being surrounded by people

54.) hugs!

55.) making someone else happy

56.) Belly laughs that hurt

57.) the way it feels when laughing almost lifts me when I’m depressed sometimes or in physical pain

58.) Center City Philadelphia and all the beautiful buildings 

59.) buying someone a gift or cup of coffee/tea

60.) people who are open-minded, understanding, and empathetic for other people’s situations, problems, lives…

61.) all the colorful leaves of the fall

62.) Blueberry coffee (coffee with blueberry flavor in it) with cream and sugar

63.) fun/deep conversations with a stranger on a bus or at the bus stop

64.) connecting with people

65.) feeling one with all that is

66.) pretty candles with a sweet fragrance 

67.) being able to listen to the same song over and over and never get tired of it!

68.) unsuccessfully trying hard not to laugh at something hilarious that I know I shouldn’t be laughing at

69.)  serving people at the store where I work 

70.) coca cola

71.) romantic comedies

72.) anything sappy and cheesy 

73.) the sun and sunrises and sunsets

74.) Morning

75.) nightfall

76.) sunny afternoons

77.) hot cocoa with whipped cream on a bitter cold day

78.) gray days as well as sunny ones

79.) miserable weather 

80.) bright, clear blue sky with big fluffy white clouds

 81.) different kinds of accents people have

82.) learning phrases in other languages I don’t know

83.) getting a new or old book

84.) bookstores

85.) nail polish that stands out

86.) bright colored socks

86.) anything pink

87.) the color red – especially dresses and handbags, and lipstick on girls who can pull it off

image

88.) the color green 

89.) sweet messages

90.) feeling deeply inspired 

91.) feeling motivated and taking action for the better

92.) twilight

image

93.) finding beauty in unlikely places

94.) sweet memories

95.) When a certain scent takes me back to a place long gone. The bittersweetness of nostalgia

96.) old writings, books, plays

97.) flowers

98.) remembering a song I forgot long ago

99.) When pain isn’t as bad

100.) being filled with deep wisdom and sharing it with others or people sharing it with me

101.) Girls in five inch stilettos 

102.) animals playing 

103.) my online friends on Facebook, the blog, 365project…

104.) the feeling when a package comes in the mail for me!

105.) Happy surprises

106.) everything related to weddings 

107.) animal rescue organizations

108.) movie theatres 

109.) the feeling of laying in bed at night reading 

110.) trampolines 

111.) learning something fascinating 

112.) teaching someone something fascinating I learned

113.) making someone’s day better

114.) physical closeness – waiting for a bus with people, standing in lines at a store with people, sitting next to people….

115.) finding something with the letter “K” on it

image

116.) peanut butter

117.) french vanilla cream horns

118.) university/college campuses

image

119.) things not going as planned but then working out even better! 

120.) posting sweet song lyrics 

121.) snuggling under blankets with dogs or cats

122.) skyscrapers 

image

123.) street signs and city lights

image

124.) the sounds of the city

125.) busses and trolleys

126.) people who build each other up instead of dragging each other down

127.) tomatoes 

128.) walking in a light mist

129.) Indian food

130.) fruity or Hawaiian body spray 

131.) the way it feels using a new shower gel or hair product 

132.) facebook

133.) lemons in soda and iced tea

134.) warm places in the Winter

135.) being deeply inspired to create 

136.) birds flying around outside 

137.) the love of being greeted by my dogs when I walk into a room.

138.) lovers holding hands

139.) old people – they’re cute.

140.) reading about/hearing about someone’s dream finally coming true.

Wow! Life sure is good, isn’t it?! 😀

I never expected to feel this way at the end of this. So uplifted, warm, and in awe at how many amazing things there are to be so happy about. I did not list these all in one sitting; it took like two days but at the very end I felt so warm and light and like I can jump for joy!

Sometimes I create lists like these in my head at night as I’m laying in bed but it feels even different when I write out a super long list like this. When I think like this at night, the joy often keeps me awake! Lol. So I try to think of more mellow, serene things. You know your life is good when you can’t sleep at night because of too many GOOD thoughts!   

I don’t have a “real” job, not much money, I live with family, not on my own, I have a depressive and chronic physical pain disorder but I can still say that life is beautiful.   Beautiful with all the simple joys, all the sweet wonders that cost nothing or next to nothing.  
😀

May you realize all the treasures you are truly blessed with and feel inspired to list them and not be able to stop!  

Xoxo Kim

Thirty – Three Things I know for sure <3

image

Here’s my list for Day #4! I have been planning a post like this even before the 30 lists challenge! Here it is! 😀

1.) “Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not.” ~ Samuel Johnson

It’s ok not to like people and not like things they do. But I believe kind is still the best way to be.  I’m generally kind to people and for the most part always have been, even when they’re unkind to me. Many people see it as a flaw or weakness or being naive. But I see it as a strength. I used to believe though, that when someone said or did something really unkind which made me very angry I should retaliate with more unkindness.  Not always but more than I should have. The older I got, the naturally more kind and compassionate I have become even to those who aren’t kind and compassionate.   There were still occasions I was so tempted to seek revenge or say something unpleasant to someone but I intentionally practiced more kindness and compassion, consciously making it my lifestyle, not just occasional acts. And the more I practice and mediated upon kindness, the more kind I have become. Sometimes I have setbacks though and I say something to someone that is less than kind, who does/says something that I don’t like and I later feel the guilt & remorse tearing me up inside. Kindness is always the way to go.

2.) Risking it all for love, pouring my heart out, reaching out in love….expecting/demanding nothing in return, is the way to be. I’m shy and it’s not always easy to reach out to help or compliment someone in person or online. Sometimes even people who aren’t shy may be somewhat hesitant.   “What if that person doesn’t appreciate my help or message?”. “What if I accidentally offend that person?”. “What if I come off as weird or come on too strong?”. “What if the person won’t like me?”. “What if someone just can’t handle too much sap in one message?”……All of these what if’s may come into our heads while contemplating reaching out to people in some way. And some of these what if’s may be real, maybe some people will not appreciate us or our acts of love and random kindness but…..that’s ok! I would prefer to reach out and not be loved, reach out and risk seeming weird or sappy than not reach out at all.   People don’t have to love me for me to love them!

image

3.) Self – love and acceptance are important and are not the same as conceit and arrogance.   It’s ok to focus on and express your own beauty and goodness.

4.) it’s better to promote what you love than bash what you detest.

5.) “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ~ Rumi

6.) Sometimes intentions really are just as important or more important than actions. Sometimes people intend well but accidentally hurt or offend or fail to do what they tried for some reason. 

7.) The simple, everyday, mundane occurrences in life, tea with friends, reading a book, sunset and sunrise, hugging your dog, playing with your child, are just as important as, sometimes more important than the big things. The job promotions, the vacations, the celebration bashes…..

8.) it’s ok if life doesn’t always turn out how you wanted or planned. It can be just as wonderful, maybe even better.

9.) attitude and perspective is often much more important to our general happiness or misery than what happens in our physical environment.   It’s all how you look at it.

10.)  “A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.” ~ Elbert Hunbard

11.) no matter how long you have been traveling down the wrong road, as long as you’re alive, it’s never too late to turn around and start over.

image

12.) getting older is a blessing. It gives us more chances to love, be loved, bless and be blessed, learn and teach, grow and have deeper wisdom & beauty.

13.) Gray hair, wrinkles, curves, and laughlines are beautiful.

14.) “Kindness is like snow; it beautifies everything it covers.”

15.) “He who is contented is rich.” ~ Lao Tzu

16.) being kinder than necessary is a strength, not a weakness.

17.) your true character is more important than your reputation.   Who you are matters more than what people think and say you are.

18.) “No act of kindness however small is ever wasted.” Aesop

19.) “I haven’t failed, I have found 10,000 ways that won’t work. ” ~ Thomas Edison

20.) “Where there is love there is life.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi  

21.) You can keep going long after you think you can’t. 

22.) “When the going gets tough, the tough get going. “

23.) “If you realized how beautiful you are, you would fall at your own feet.” ~ Byron Katie

You’re body is amazingly beautiful, all it does to keep you alive each and every day. To keep you healthy enough to live. Even when you’re sick, your body is working hard to keep you going. Think about it. Your heart pumps, your brain regulates everything, your temperature is maintained at a safe level…..your blood flows, your breath lives…

24.) “I may be lonely but I’m never alone. ” ~ Alice Cooper

25.) There are so many beautiful reasons to be happy. There’s always something to smile about. Always something to be thankful for.

26.) At any moment, we can choose to fall to pieces or choose gratitude. I learned this much deeper when I watched a video with Amy Gill, a girl who lost her twenty-four day old daughter to a birth condition.  

http://365grateful.com/

27.) at any given moment we can think of a list of reasons why our lives suck but at that same moment we can think of a list of reasons why our lives are simply amazing.   The choice is yours.  

28.)  Hopelessness isn’t always despair. Sometimes hopelessness is letting go, accepting what we desperately want can not or probably will not be, and letting go, moving forward. Hope is beautiful and essential but it can also hold us back if we aren’t careful. We shouldn’t put happiness on hold hoping for better or more.  I learned this better by reading things by Dr. Dan Gottlieb, a Philadelphia psychologist who experienced his own tragedies including the loss of people he loves and the permanent  loss of his ability to walk whe he was in a serious accident.

http://www.drdangottlieb.com/

29.) “You can be greater than anything that can happen to you.” ~Norman Vincent Peale

30.) Strangers are people with lives, stories, a breath, a face, and a name. They may not be someone you know or love but they are just as important.   They are still someone.

image

31.) people can have strong opposing views including political and religious views.   We can not like each other’s decisions, actions, opinions, and other things but we can love each other and not judge a whole person for certain things. We can still be friends.

32.) “If the world had a front porch, like we did back then
We’d still have our problems, but we’d all be friends
Treatin’ your neighbor like he’s your next of kin
Wouldn’t be gone like the wind
If the world had a front porch, like we did back then” ~ Tracy Lawrence 

33.) “You don’t owe me a thing, I’ve been there too
Someone once helped me out,
Just the way I’m helping you
If you really want to pay me back,
Here’s what you do
Don’t let the chain of love end with you” ~ Clay Walker

image

30 Days of Lists – Day #3 Art Journaling Tips & Ideas

image

I have always loved journals, drawing, writing…but I would always start a journal then eventually stop until a while later, lose it, and start a new one. I never knew why exactly until recently.   I have never been a perfectionist at all but I have felt low occasionally for not being some definition of perfect.  I never usually tried to be perfect at most things but I wanted to be without even trying and felt low for not being that way. The reason I always give up journaling/drawing and stuff, I realized is, I have terrible handwriting and drawing skills. I always knew that but never quite realized, consciously, that my view of it was interfering with me. If you look at my handwriting you will seriously think a first grader wrote it! It’s not my choice either!   I can’t write neat or small. It’s very large and sloppy.  It’s funny though and I laugh about it.  

A stranger once saw my handwriting and said I have serial killer handwriting.   His teacher told him that when he was young, he said. Lol!

And when I write in cursive I can’t even understand it myself. So yeah. 

And when I draw, it looks like a little kid’s artwork. But I have finally come to accept that it doesn’t matter. It’s still healing and still fun and still great to draw and write in journals. It’s different than writing in an online blog or in a memos section in some electronic device. Both are great! But journaling in a notebook is more of a “hands on” experience. 

So I won’t let my serial killing handwriting get in the way any longer!  

I love looking at people’s art journals online. It inspires me and is aesthetically pleasing. But I have found myself occasionally comparing myself to those people with me coming up short.   “Why can’t I draw that good?” “why couldn’t I think of that?!” “why doesn’t mine look that artistic?” “how can she do that and not me?!?!”

But I decided to silence that monster and just focus on what I’m doing right. It’s art journaling, it can’t ever be wrong!   I let those other journals inspire and please me more than make me distressed or envious that my skills aren’t that great.   It’s a hobby, not a job that must be perfect.  

I am so thankful that I now realize why I never stick with artistic stuff. Because I get fed up with my handwriting and lack of skills. And I’m thankful I now realize that it doesn’t have to be an issue.   Comparing ourselves to others in negative ways is an ugly thing. Now let’s stop.

I recently began a new art journal.   And I will stick with it. I will fill it up with kiddy drawings and serial killer handwriting until it’s overflowing and be very proud! ;-D

So today I am listing some ideas for journal entries and some tips. This is somewhat new for me and I’m just learning and exploring and haven’t tried a lot of this.   So if you’re also new to it, we can learn and explore together!  

And if your an expert already give me some tips! Lol

Some of these I thought of completely on my own, others are inspired by other places I seen.
And I will add the links where I got some ideas at the end of this post.

1.) song lyrics – try to capture some lyrics to a song that has some sort of meaning to you. Maybe write the lyrics and draw around them or not write them in words but draw them out. Maybe scenes of a song or just the emotions they inspire in you.

2.) quotes – do the same as above but with a quote 

3.) draw yourself as your favorite character in a book you read. Pretend that’s you. How do you feel? Put yourself in that character’s place.

4.) least favorite character  – step outside your comfort zone and try the above suggestions but instead draw yourself as the villain or your least favorite character! 

5.) random scene – choose a random scene out of a book. Maybe randomly flip to a page and draw what you see/read on that page. Or search your memory for just some scene and bring it alive in your journal.

6.) favorite scene – do the above suggestion but choose one of your favorite scenes instead of a random one. Or even draw your least favorite or uncomfortable scene!

7.) Be inspired by something you always wanted to do – Is there something you want to do so badly but just never have? I have for so long wanted to dress up in a beautiful dress and go to some fancy expensive restaurant for no reason other than just because! Lol I wear just pants and shirts everyday. I dont have much money and whenever I got dressed up before and hair done it was for some big occasion like a graduation, a wedding, prom or whatever.   Imagine going all out, getting all dolled up for no reason other than sheer pleasure?! Some people may think it’s a waste but to me it’s just a thrill! :-D. I don’t plan on making a habit of it. I’m not materialistic generally but once in a blue moon is ok! Everyday of your life is a special occasion! 

8.) worst pain you have ever felt – art journaling is healing for both physical and emotional pain. It can help ease the pain sometimes but even if it doesn’t it can help us cope with the pain. I have a depressive disorder that doesn’t get cured but comes and goes in symptoms and full blown episodes. Many days now it’s like I don’t even have it. But I do and it always comes back. Art journaling is amazing for coping. Also, I have a physical pain disorder.   A chronic facial/head pain disorder. It’s so bad and interferes with my life when it flares up badly like right now. Like my depression, it comes and goes.   But with the physical disorder I am usually always in some degree of pain, often mild. The mild usually doesn’t interfere with my happiness or my life in general. It’s just there. But the moderate to severe pain is pure raw agony and I feel so broken.   So very broken. There’s no safe, effective medical treatments, just home remedies that help. Sometimes severe flare ups come frequently over and over lasting for days to weeks. Sometimes they don’t show up for months and months. They come on without warning. Sometimes waking me in the middle of sleep.  Since there’s very little I can do to ease them after they appear, I have to find ways to handle them and cope with the pain. Healthy ways.  Physical movement and expression of the pain often help. Like I said, not help alleviate the pain usually but just cope with it.
Sharing comforting quotes with others when I’m in pain, knowing I may be helping someone else, helps me too.   I can’t bear the thought of knowing there’s others in the depth of pain I’m in. And even worse! I can’t fathom it. But capturing my pain in writing and drawing helps so much. Physical pain brings with it, emotional pain, panic, and fear, distress…and it’s important to handle it effectively. 

image

9.) a moment you felt shocked – draw/paint how it feels to be shocked.

10.) let your unconscious mind and hand lead the way – don’t think, just draw or paint or write or cut out and glue….see what you create.

11.) What does love feel like to you ? Capture it

12.) your idea of beauty – what does beauty feel like?

13.) capture a poem you like in an image 

14.) draw a fantasy you have

15.) capture a dream you once had while you slept or the feelings it provoked or still provokes in you

16.) capture yourself exactly as you are but with one difference – maybe something you have been wanting to change about yourself or something you would never want to change about you. Maybe this can make you more grateful for all that you currently are or motivate you to change that one thing for the better.  

17.) draw a feeling you used to love when you were little – I have always loved being in school with all the other kids. Especially when we would do unusual activities like turn the lights off and watch a movie or have a holiday celebration. I still remember how it felt. How it felt to be a child. A child in school with all other kids doing fun activities.   I can never feel that again in a  moment because I will never be a kid again. And I will never literally be in that place again.  But I cherish the memories and would love to capture them in an artistic way.

17.) meditative experience – try to meditate while creating.   Literally try to feel what you are capturing, doing, feeling. Feel it. Don’t just draw mechanically or make it obligatory. Try to live in the moment 

18.) don’t just focus on the end result. Savor the process of creating.   Sometimes I have trouble with this. I can’t wait to see my masterpiece and I neglect to cherish the very process of creating. 

19.). Try not to force your journal to only be a certain way. Let it flow.   It doesn’t all have to be positive or profound.   It can be sometimes negative and sometimes “trivial.”. Every entry doesn’t have to be pretty or have some great meaning or underlying message.  

20.) what’s it like to be very scared? What’s your biggest fear whether it can really happen or not.

21.) What is it to be lonely?

22.) to actually be alone? 

23.) Express, draw, paint…how it felt when you were rejected? maybe for a job or a university. By a potential lover or friend or family member.

24.) keep in mind that your content doesn’t have to make sense to anyone, not even yourself. It can be abstract, confusing, mysterious, and nonsensical. Even if you decide to share it, you don’t have to feel the need to explain it.  I love a little mystery.   My favorite kind of poetry and artwork is obscure kind. Especially when it kind of seems to make sense but doesn’t.   I often like to write, poetically, without explanation . And when I read poems and view artistic stuff by others, I love when they don’t explain it. I love drawing my own implications or interpretations.   But you certainly can explain if you want! You just shouldn’t have to feel like it’s your obligation. 

25.) Express your gratitude list artistically

These are just suggestions; I’m in no way saying they are the only right way and anything else is wrong.   Some of these are great for some people and not others. Do what’s best for you, of course, even if above I stated something else.  

Your journal doesn’t just have to be about drawing or painting or coloring. You can cut things out and glue it onto your pages. Someone suggested old pieces of mail, glue it on and color or paint over it. Cut out magazine pieces or cloth and glue it on. Anything you can think of!

My journal doesn’t look anywhere nearly as artistic as some I have seen! But instead of viewing that in a negative light, I see it as a fun challenge! I have all these blank pages to make more and more creative and soon mine will be looking great!

I have drawing pencils, watercolor paints & pencils, colored pencils, markers, magazines, and glue and scissors for now.

Just by starting this new journal very recently and listing these here today, I learned even more about myself. I found a deeper part of me. A part I forgot about. I was able to summon some old experiences, feelings, memories that I forgot about but are still very important.  I learned some new or forgotten fears, how really capable I am of healing and coping, how deeply certain things both old and new have affected me in both good and bad ways.

I have been able to somewhat distract myself and push the physical pain and my fear of it to the back burner of my mind as I focus on this.

Remember you don’t have to show your art journal entries to anyone!   It’s up to you. Even though I’m very shy, I’m also very open about my experiences, emotions, opinions…and I don’t mind sharing with people. I love to. But many people say they love knowing their journal is just for them, never for anyone else to lay eyes on. No one else has to judge it, critique it, or know of its content.

As open as I am, I like to share most of my ideas and things with people on and offline. But sometimes it does feel very good to have a secret of my own. Not because the secret is too embarrassing or awkward to let people know but just because it’s a little thrilling having some things only I know. I don’t make that a habit but there are a few things I like selfishly keeping to myself!   Lol. One example is my dreams at night. I dream often and frequently remember them. And for some reason I like keeping lots of my dreams to myself. Again, not because they’re embarrassing or fear of judgment but it’s sweet just having something for me! Lol
I love remembering dreams I had and knowing there’s no one else in the entire world who knows this but me.

It’s especially thrilling since I’m not usually like that and I usually share so much about myself.

So it’s up to you to share or not to share your journal entries!   What I would really recommend though is that you decide only after your entry is done If you will share or not. Go into it deciding that this is just for you and that you won’t share with anyone. Then when it’s done you can decide to share if you want. I recommend this because if you decide that you will show people your entries before you complete them, you may unconsciously hold back something or feel too pressured that it has to be perfect or at least presentable, something that others will appreciate. You may unconsciously start to create more for other people than for yourself.   This defeats the purpose of art journaling. Your art journal is not a public blog for yourself and everyone who comes across it. It’s for you and only you.  

It’s meant to be healing, expressive, creative and if you feel pressured to make it a certain way then you may not get the most out of it. So be all that you can be, do what is best for you and only you then decide if it’s meant for anyone else’s eyes.

image

If you have any tips or ideas or any links to pages about art journals please let me know! Whether you are also somewhat new to art journaling, already have been engaging in this for a while, or never tried it! I would love any ideas! All are valuable to me! Thank You!!

image

Thank You so so much to everyone who reads, shares, likes, “likes,” and comments on my content! I appreciate you so much!!! And I hope you find something helpful here.

Xoxo Kim

image

P.s. I totally forgot the links!!

Here you are:

http://www.blacksburgbelle.com/2010/10/50-art-journal-prompts/

30 Days of Lists – Day #2 Personal Medicines

image

Again, I wrote a whole blog post and lost it, last night/Friday. It’s now early Saturday afternoon. 
I have off work today which is unusual for a Saturday and I’m going out with my good friend, Mike, tonight!
 My phone has been acting up and every app/icon I use randomly and automatically just clicks off without warning. So here I am writing it over! And like always when I lose my writings, it will be better than the original! That’s my policy. When I tragically lose something long that I write, I rewrite it better!

Yup! Let the pain make you BETTER, not bitter!

;-D

Last night/Thursday night I was having difficulty sleeping because of my chronic facial pain disorder.   My face wasn’t throbbing too badly but it was exhausted and tired. Lol It sounds funny that just my face can be exhausted! But it’s a very unpleasant feeling!   My disorder has more symptoms than just pain. And facial exhaustion and tiredness is one of them. And it doesn’t always let me sleep.

And one occasion when I woke up during the night, I thought of the 30 day list challenge and realized it really is quite a challenge!   I can come up with so many lists but I want interesting ones!   

I was trying to think of a list and couldn’t think of a really good one other than a list of books. But I want to list my favorite books on a “Page” at the top, not as a blog post.

Then Friday at my psychiatric appointment I was asked to compose a list! A list of “Personal Medicines.”  In this context, “medicines” is not drugs or anything we put into our bodies but, coping mechanisms and things that help us heal our mental illnesses and maintain a good mood and wellbeing.

image

The mental health professionals at this clinic believe strongly that our healing, recovery, and maintaining general wellbeing is much more than just talk & drug therapy.   It’s about attitude, lifestyle, and healthy activities along with professional treatment like drug/talk therapy.

So every visit to this clinic now we are asked to list our “Personal Medicines.” It’s the new policy.  Some patients view this as a hassle but I like it a lot!   I agree that maintaining good mental health when we struggle with a disorder really is more than just professional treatment.

Personal Development/Self Help techniques are important as well.

Here’s my list.

1.) quotes – reading, writing, sharing positive or thought provoking quotes 

2.) reading – self-help, novels, and philosophy books/writings 

3.) walking 

4.) photography – taking pics and being creative

5.) meditation

6.) talking to people/petting animals

7.) helping people

8.) writing 

9.) gratitude practices – lists, meditations, photos…

image

http://365grateful.com/

Check out Amy Gill’s story on this website. The video is on the front page. It’s heartwrenching and beautiful and deeply inspiring.

10.) Art journaling

11.) sharing quotes and my own stories

12.) working on a life handbook – a book of goals, uplifting ideas, values, dreams, quotes, whatever ways you want to live your life.

http://personalexcellence.co/blog/create-your-life-handbook/

image

13.) posting here on the blog

I wouldn’t expect a seriously depressed person to do one or all of these things and always automatically be uplifted or cured. Depression is not just a low mood; it’s a serious illness, a terrible sickness and nothing can just pull someone out of it usually. But with practice we can learn to cope with and sometimes prevent severe flare ups and with practice we can sometimes be somewhat uplifted even when we’re truly depressed. These things help me immensely because I practice them every day and take them seriously, every day, not just lightly every now and then. And not only when I’m depressed.

Since May 2010 I have been working on maintaining a positive life philosophy and practicing personal development/self-help techniques to help me cope with pain, both physical and emotional. And just to have happiness & joy in general.   It has to be learned, practiced, and applied.   Depression has biochemical underpinnings but it’s also psychological and self help techniques can help to a certain extent.   But throwing an uplifting quote at a very depressed person, expecting it to lift the person out of the illness,  can likely just make it worse for the person, seeming like no one understands. But when a person with depression seeks professional help and works on the inner self, reads positive quotes/ideas often, meditates upon them, develops and seriously maintains a life philosophy and positive attitude, making serious attempts to get better and view life in a positive way, it is very helpful and an incredible experience. 

Succumbing to depression, giving into negative thinking, unnecessary self criticism, viewing life and the whole world as vicious and cold and cruel, contemplating suicide are all very detrimental and it takes so much to avoid them. It takes energy, strength, courage that often seems impossible to muster, to avoid giving in, but it is possible and worth it. I know. I used to live in a cold, dark place. It felt so cruel. So hopeless and wrong. Life felt wrong and worthless and useless. But I found my way. I still slip back there once and a while but I found ways to cope until I am genuinely happy again.

Just because I’m depressed doesn’t mean I have to act depressed.

My life philosophy that I can handle anything and that I must stay alive, that life IS great even when it hurts, that just being alive is my purpose and just being alive is a grand thing has become so ingrained in me that even when I get just as severely depressed as I used to, I can cope much better, breeze right through it and no longer become dangerously suicidal. Often, positive quotes and songs do help me now because of the practice of self-help techniques and controlling my thinking.   They confirm and remind me of what I already know. It still hurts when I am hit hard with depression, I still have suicidal thoughts, I still feel hopeless sometimes and worthless for what, often, seems like no reason at all. But these feelings often, no longer overwhelm me or consume me like they used to.  

Something inside has shifted. It’s a strange feeling to become just as severely depressed as I have been for many years but now have hope and still a desire for life.

It feels strange to see a way to die and not want to take advantage of the opportunity like I always, ALWAYS wanted to do for many years.   It’s a strange thing to want to live. Strange, nearly fourteen years, nearly every day I wanted to die.  And the two years before that I did not care if I lived or died.   It feels weird not to have to struggle against overwhelming urges to take myself when I see a “perfect” way out.  It’s so bizarre that the thought of killing myself now seems so so wrong when for years and years and years and more years it felt so right. I still have these thoughts but usually now they are just out of habit and not driven by real suicidal feelings. But even when they are still driven by genuine suicidal feelings and true depression, I can endure it.

I now have a desire and a will to live.

I will never get used to this feeling. Not ever. And as I have previously said, I don’t want to.  One year and five months of actually wanting to live. Every single day.  Living voluntarily and not merely out of fear that it won’t work if I try to end my life.  

Sometimes I have to just stop. I’ll be doing some mundane thing. Brushing my teeth maybe, applying my makeup, walking to work, shopping, showering, falling asleep, waking up…and I just stop.   And feel the shock. The awe. The strangeness of not wanting to die. I bask in the beauty of wanting to live.

I’m reeling. 

It’s incomprehensible, hard to fathom and explain.  

I think of all I have learned, read, survived, believe in, and how I have come a long way. And hope fills me. Hope that the episode of depression, when it hits, will end. Love guides me. Inspires me. And so even though the depression does sometimes get as bad as it used to be, I can cope much better. 

People get angry when people share uplifting quotes or tips for coping with depression and anxiety.   They think it’s cruel and cold and not understanding, thoughtless.   And it can be, depending upon the attitudes and intentions of those posting /saying them. But they CAN also be very helpful when shared appropriately, compassionately.

Let’s not assume every depressed and anxious person can engage in some little self-help technique and be magically cured.   It’s not like that.   And what works for one may not work for another. Let us encourage people to seek help and healing, to seek what is right for them.

Let’s bring hope & warmth to those in the cold, darkness.

I encourage you to make your own list of things to help you with low moods whether they are just normal low moods we may all experience now and then or severe depressive episodes. Practice. Practice. Practice. Sometimes they’ll uplift you. And sometimes they’ll just help you cope. But they are very important to consciously, intentionally maintain.  

I believe that no matter how happy you are, taking part of your days to do fun, healing activities just for you will make you even happier and healthier.

Much love to you all.

Xoxo Kim

P.S.

Have you tried the Molten Hot Lava chocolate cake at Arby’s?!?! It’s Heaven on Earth!

I had it before now and loved it but each day I get it it seems to get better and better!   Yum! And the jalapeño poppers & onion rings! Goodness! Mmnnmm!

My family got food in the drive through Friday night and it cost over $30.00 and my dad said to the man “that’s expensive!!” and the man said “you’re hungry tonight.” Lol! Then as we were driving away the man said “If you can’t be good, be great.” I love it and will always remember that.

If you can’t be good, be great.