Tag Archive | choices

Motivation❀

When I saw this today, I was instantly inspired. This quote is referring to the sport of running but can apply to any routine, sport, hobby…we engage in or would like to. Anything we want to make a habit or way of life, if we practice enough with no excuses, it will eventually became as natural or ingrained as breathing or brushing our teeth each day. Some examples are exercise routine, gratitude journaling, meditation, even things that may seem easier or more simple such as just taking a few minutes out each day to breathe or listen to uplifting music. It can be difficult and takes self discipline, patience, willpower, serious motivation….to develop even simple positive habits and stick with them enough until they become ingrained or “second nature.”

In this quote, the person mentions after “many long years,” we get to the mentality where we “just have to.” Being tired, raining out, freezing cold, too much other stuff to do….doesn’t matter. Whatever our goal is, is what has to be done. But we don’t even have to have been practicing for many years to get to “I just have to.” Even if we just set a goal today, we have to stick with it if it’s a serious goal of ours. We just have to. That’s how we get to the “many long years.”

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

This reminds me of another quote I come across now & again, I don’t remember the exact words but it’s about how there will never be “perfect conditions” or a “perfect time” to begin or do something. There will always be some excuse we can come up with for procrastinating. It will be cold or hot or raining or we will be tired or have too much to do or be hungry or maybe have a bit of a common cold…but none of this matters. These things are “beside the point.” They don’t matter.

Bloom where you’re planted.

If you have any goals/dreams, whether they are new or old and whether you have just begun or been practicing for months or years, keep going!! Even if it’s not always easy, it’s always worth it! It doesn’t matter if it’s raining or it’s cold or we’re tired….just keep it moving and love the journey that is leading to something wonderful!❀

Hugs! & Much love & light,

Xoxo Kim

The brighter side

“When life knocks you flat on your back, remember it leaves you lookin’ up.” β€

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This is something I posted on Instagram a while ago & now sharing it here!

When we are brought to ruin it’s just an opportunity to build our self up even stronger than before, to have a firmer foundation. Always look on the bright side! Struggles, challenges, pain, setbacks, relapses, mistakes…can deepen our wisdom & empathy/compassion and strengthen us if we allow it to. Challenges help us develop or strengthen the virtue of patience and reveal inner strength we may not know without it. Instead of focusing more on the unpleasant aspects of the situation, let’s ask “What can this teach me?” “How can I use this to help others?” “In which ways can this strengthen me?” “What beauty still exists in this dark place?”  Let’s choose positivity in challenging situations, even if it has to be forced until it comes more naturally.

When we’re as low as we can be the only way is up! πŸ˜€ ❀ 

Much love,

Kim<3 xoxo

No one can make you feel inferior…

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(me! πŸ˜€ ❀ I really have blue eyes with green splashes but for a few days recently, they were green! 😱)

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Yesterday I received two very unpleasant comments, one in person, by someone I know and have liked a lot since i met her and one online by a stranger. The online comment was vicious and intended to be callous and the in-person comment was meant to be compassionate but I find it thoughtless. I’m extremely open about my struggle with severe depression and the things relating to it, both online and in person. Since I was thirteen years old, I have struggled with severe episodes of depression with frequent lower-grade depression in the middle a lot. My depression would always go completely away for a while, sometimes months, but would always come back to some degree. It has been with me off and on through the years since then.

I never try to conceal it out of embarrassment or what people may think but I also dont go out of my way to bring it up usually, not because I dont want to necessarily; it’s just there’s not always an opportunity or thought to bring it up. I don’t constantly talk or think about my depressive illness. I just get to talking about it when it happens to come up somehow. I keep my social media accounts public and post about it sometimes, so anyone has access to it. But not everyone who knows me knows about my condition. I am very happy in general when I’m not depressed; even when my depression was chronic/frequent, it would always leave and I would be so happy and healthy; and even when I am depressed, I am still naturally very friendly to others and still often easily amused. I don’t “look depressed,” whatever that may look like. I don’t dress all in black with my head down and covered in self inflicted cuts, like some people assume depressed people should look like.

I am frequently laughing and smiling. I can function in the world and effectively interact with people in social settings. This is true for many, probably even most of us who struggle with mental health conditions. We may be someone with a family of our own or we may live at home with the family we grew up with, we can be store cashiers, food servers, doctors, counselors, your next door neighbor, your coworker, your best friend, the giggly, smiling person you see at the bus stop everyday, maybe your hairdresser or attorney, a schoolteacher…..we cannot always see depression. It’s true, people do notice I am depressed sometimes (even if they don’t realize it’s depression). But it cannot always be detected by others.

Yesterday online, I expressed compassion for a suicide victim and his family and friends. The sweet young man is dead and everyone who loves and knew him is shattered and will always be scarred. I am not easily offended and not sensitive so I can easily brush off comments and remarks that are malicious, rude, sarcastic, thoughtless….but some occasions, for whatever reason, they hit hard. A stranger, both to me, and to the man who died by suicide, commented and wrote something in response to all our comments, about compassion for him not being necessary because he was a “selfish, cowardly piece of shit who did this to himself.” (This is not new to me; it’s frequent to encounter this kind of sentiment about suicidal people and suicide victims – I have been told myself on more than one occasion, to quit feeling sorry for myself and go get it over with and kill myself already, luckily i havent heard this in a while)

First of all, this poor person was sick or somethimg. It was’t like he just decided it would be fun to end his own life just for thrills. Also, those poor souls who knew him, his family, his mama, his close friends, his acquaintances, his coworkers, his neighbors, maybe even someone who saw him around but hardly knew him, are all impacted in a horrific way now and they can’t help that he made that terrible choice; it’s not their fault so why write something so callous for them to read? They are the ones being hurt by the cruelty; not him. As if it’s not cruel enough, this pain they now have to live with. Now on top of that, they have that comment to remember.

That was at the beginning of my day that I had the displeasure of encountering that. Then closer to the end of my day, I had the displeasure of receiving another thoughtless (but not as ruthless) comment but in person by someone I know.

I recently met a new (platonic) friend at work! I only met him a couple months ago and instantly felt a deep connection to him. He is one of the kindest and most generous people I ever met and reminds me of another friend I have. I was telling my mom how much the two are alike then i found out they grew up knowing each other! ❀ I had no idea! πŸ˜€ Shortly after i met this new friend of mine, I realized i felt a sense of “home” like we may feel when we meet people we have a deep “soul” connection with.

Anyway, my new friend has problems, some of which he shared with me. He has severe recurring headaches, financial difficulties, and is in emotional turmoil because he is in the process of getting a divorce, which is not his choice but his wife’s. I am inspired because as much pain as he is experiencing about his loss, he told me he is so thankful for the thirty years he had with her and all the memories he’ll always have. And for his kids and grandbaby(hes adorable! I get to see him some days)

Yesterday, a girl I know told me to be very careful because my new friend just got out of a “looney bin” and is cracking up in the head and she doesnt want him to go off and do anything to me. She said he’s a very friendly person but looney. I could tell she was genuinely concerned for my safety so I cant even be angry at her and even find it a bit touching that she cares so much. But her comment struck me so hard, like a slap hard across the face. He’s not dangerous to others. Most of us are not (though some definitely are) and it is damaging to perpetuate that. She did not realize who she was talking to. If i was in her position and said that to someone who has experienced both voluntary and involuntary psychiatric hospitalizations(like I have), I would have been mortified. I spared her the embarrassment (and fear) and sob story of mine and just tried to assure her that he is not a threat to others. She was not convinced.

She even admitted that he shows no signs of being a threat to others but that she’s concerned when he’s around. I felt compassion for her even with my annoyance. Imagine feeling fear whenever you see someone, that the person will “snap” and put you in danger. It’s not pleasant for her either. She clearly doesn’t understand mental illness.

The reason I found it difficult to shrug off her comment is, I like her a lot (in a platonic way) and my condition is a part of me and always will be, not that I will always be depressed but always remember that I was. It’s painful to like someone and the person not understand a significant part of me, especially thinking I’m dangerous. Some people who dont like something(certain views, disabilities…), when they find out someone they know experiences that, they will come to be more understanding of it and accepting, while others will reject the person. Either way, I think it’s important to not conceal stuff just so others will not dislike us. Just because we deny it in ourselves does not mean it doesn’t exist and then people will love us under false impressions. It won’t be real.

As the cliche goes “I would rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I’m not.”

For sure! Though i dont think it’s very likely that anyone will “hate” us, they may dislike us or feel uncomfortable around us. It is unfortunate and they have my compassion. Even though it’s unpleasant for me, it’s also unpleasant for them. I wish they would try to understand better and not perpetuate dangerous myths.

People don’t just “snap” and “go off.” They show signs that often go unnoticed by others before they freak out and go on a killing spree. And look at all the people who aren’t mentally ill who kill people and animals. Not every mentally ill person who kills does so as a result of the illness. Even mentally ill people can be assholes and kill for the same reasons non mentally ill people kill for. Not only is it wrong to assume mentally ill people are all dangerous because it hurts us to assume that, it’s wrong because it’s like justifying it when someone kills someone. Mental illness is no justification usually. I do struggle with depression sometimes but it never gets me wanting to kill anyone other than myself and if I killed someone I would just be an asshole who is also mentally ill. And I hope I would get life in prison.

I know not to attack someone and never even have the urge to. Only once in all of my days (except when i was little and thought it was funny to hit older kids and if kids were messing with me, i would sometimes hit them) can i ever remember truly wanting to even just smack someone(in 7th grade my friend was irking me so badly in class i just wanted to smack her and would have if we werent in school!) and never again since then. I would kill myself before I would kill someone else and i would risk my own life to save another (even when im not suicidal!).

The two comments, only because I let them, put a damper on my happiness. I let them dull my sparkle. I usually don’t allow that but yesterday I did. But this quote I shared above, popped into my head.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

It’s a quote that is so cliche i fear it may be often just overlooked or mindlessly tossed around in an attempt to seem positive. I have often overlooked it, finding it positive and a great concept but not truly letting it inspire me. Yesterday though, I really felt it, let it inspire me deeply. Even if we can’t initially help how we feel in response to something that someone else says or does, we can work to strengthen our mind against the actions and words of others.

I thought of how it doesnt matter what that girl thinks of my friend or me. We are not dangerous and so many people understand that. There will always be those who don’t and we can just speak up or share things to counter it. And we can show compassion to those in need.

I accept my condition. There’s nothing I can do about it. I can’t change my history of it. It just is and I allow it to be. I will never cover it up no matter what others think about it or me. And one thing I am pleased to realize is while there are many reasons to give up mental illness if we could, like the fact that it hurts us and those around us, it’s expensive for treatment, interferes with things….what other people think is not one of those reasons to give it up even if we were able to! I wouldn’t give up my illness or experiences just because someone else thinks I’m a basketcase.

Also, I receive many, many more loving comments and responses to my condition and things i post online, than unpleasant ones and those are the ones I focus on more. There are many more people who are loving and kind in general than those who are not. And the ones who aren’t can become more kind and loving. We can all evolve.

Another thing I made the choice to do in the face of this unpleasantness is ask myself how this can strengthen me, what is it teaching or reminding me, what wisdom can i realize and deepen and share with others…What virtues can i strengthen? Patience, gratitude, compassion, kindness, forgiveness….there’s always positive things to be learned and reminded of in every difficult situation.

I want to remind us all to not give anyone consent to dull our sparkle, contribute to us feeling inferior, low, anxious….anything unpleasant. The power is within us to let what they say or do, slide right off. Whatever they do or say, does not change anything about us whether it’s true or not. Think of the positive things in the world, our own self, and each other, and let the unpleasant things said and done to us go. It can’t hurt us if we don’t let it. It’s up to each of us how to respond both in our head and outwardly.

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(this isn’t my photo! My sister sent me a message as i was completing this post and i opened it and it was this pic she sent me! Perfect, right!?)

I’m wishing you much love and light, always! ❀

I hope you are having a beautiful day or night wherever in the world you are! I have a busy couple of days but everything is going well. 😍❀

“And we’re all gonna shine a light together
All shine a light to light the way
Brothers and sisters in every little part
Let our love shine a light in every corner of our hearts”

Love Shine a Light – mobile

Love Shine a Light – desktop

Hugs & lots of love,

xoxo Kim ❀

The power of positive thinking

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“Although extraordinary valor was displayed by the entire corps of Spartans and Thespians, yet bravest of all was declared the Spartan, Dienekes. It is said that on the eve of battle, he was told by a native of Trachis that the Persian archers were so numerous that, their arrows would block out the sun. Dienekes, however, undaunted by this prospect, remarked with a laugh, ‘Good. Then we will fight in the shade.'”

I don’t like wars and other violence but I see much beauty and inspiration in this quote here.

The concept of not giving up when there are obstacles, not to succumb to negative thinking.

There’s almost always a bright side and if not, we can still be positive about it.

Just this strong conviction of mine is liberating and deeply inspiring.

Even when I don’t currently feel it, I always believe it.

We cannot always choose our circumstances or even always choose our emotions at this moment, but we can choose positive thoughts and actions that become a habit or strengthen our already optimistic/positive nature.
We can empower ourself with positivity!

Thank you to anyone who has written me comments recently! I will get to them shortly! I appreciate every single one! I’m at work now working two shifts!

❀ πŸ˜€

Much love & light,

xoxo Kim

Disposition

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“I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.” ~Martha Washington

❀ πŸ˜€

xoxo Kim

Beautiful thoughts <3

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“To make your life beautiful, impregnate your thoughts with beauty.” ~Debasish Mridha

No matter what is going on outside, if our thoughts are laced with beauty, life will be beautiful. And we have the ability to choose how to think. Sometimes beautiful thoughts come naturally while other occasions we may have to work harder and make the choice to think positively.

“Fake it ’til you make it!”

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Today was another looonngg day at work! Very busy and fun! πŸ˜€

Much love,

xoxo Kim

Courage to overcome

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“Find courage to overcome the circumstance.” ~
Lailah Gifty Akita

This is a great reminder that we cannot always choose our circumstances but we can choose to react in a positive way.Β 
Even if we cannot currently choose our emotions, we can choose to think and react positively even if we aren’t truly feeling it just yet.
“Fake it til’ you make it.”
If we act in positive ways and choose positive thoughts, we are more likely to begin to feel and live in positive ways, strengthening and developing positive habits.Β 
This isn’t always easy, it can be so tempting , so easy to give in and succumb to unpleasant situations, emotions, and negativity. Β 
But it’s worth the work it takes to become and remain positive. Even if we’re naturally, generally positive, there’s usually always room to evolve and be even better.
We can choose to do something as simple as stopping to take a few deep breaths instead of reacting in unpleasant ways, reading uplifting quotes, going outside for a walk or to look at the beautiful sky…

Our teacher in Buddhist class tells us to stop after an unpleasant encounter and before reacting, take a deep breath and ask “What would Buddha do?”Β 
We don’t have to be a Buddhist to adhere to this wisdom. Buddha is a symbol of peace, calm, love & compassion….

Even if we don’t know for sure what Buddha would do, we can be certain of what he would not do. He would never react with violence or bitterness or give up and quit his life of compassion, he would never allow problems to wear him out. Β 

I saw this quote today and decided to share here! It can apply to the most minor problems like being stuck in traffic, someone looking at us in unpleasant ways or saying something we don’t like and to more serious problems like depression, physical illnesses, grief, and other difficult situations.

What a great reminder!

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Much love & light to you,

xoxo Kim ❀

Monday Inspiration <3

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Today I am blessed to have been able to get a picture of the tree & sky at all stages of the day! Sunrise til sundown then later!

yay!!

The tree above I shared earlier today in the early morn.

Now here it is this afternoon:

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This one is my favorite! The blue, blue sky with fluffy white clouds and look at that stream of blue sunlight shining through!

Now here it is in the early evening:

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And here is the late night pic of the tree:

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This is the worst picture I got but I love it anyway because it’s mine and it does capture nightfall. Also, the sky is full of stars!! So many!! Unfortunately my phone camera cannot always capture the stars but they are here and I see them and that’s all that truly matters. So yeah!

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When I saw the stars I yelled really loudly, the sky!!! It’s full of stars!!! Then I instantly felt embarrassed. Lol I tend to embarrass myself over the weather, nature…things like that, somewhat frequently.Β 

I just yell wherever I am, not realizing at first, and get all giddy over the stuff everyone else seems to be overlooking or not caring about.Β 

I think this is one idea of living a full life. Basking in and acknowledging all the simple, free gifts around us. Acknowledging the simple beauty in every breath and honoring it any way we can or want to.Β 

I am reminded of this quote:

“When you’re under a shady tree, don’t forget to see the sunlight streaming through the branches.”

All trees, including shady ones, are lovely but I love the message to not let the darkness, the pain, the negativity…overpower the goodness.

It’s up to us to see the beauty in the midst of the ugliest situations.

Much love & light to you, now & always!! ❀

πŸ˜€

xoxo Kim

Space

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“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. “ ~ Viktor E. Frankl

This is a quote I found in a book about addiction & mindfulness. But it’s a great concept that can apply to any situation. We have the power to choose how to respond to whatever provokes us. It may feel like we have no choice and no control over a situation but the reaction is always in our control even if we cannot yet choose our thoughts, feelings, and emotions. In this space, we can refine our ability to proact,. This space is empowering and it’s true our response can either contribute to evolving or to destruction. The more we choose to respond with positivity, love, grace, gratitude, and optimism, the more we evolve.Β 

We are truly liberated when we learn to always or frequently respond in a productive or positive way to people and situations that potentially tempt us to lash out or respond negatively in some way. When we have or cultivate a pro-active attitude and strengthen/maintain it, no matter what happens, no one and nothing gets over on us.Β 

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This is me today at work.

I hope your day/night is going beautifully! I was at work all day trying to work on blog posts and things but had no Internet connection. It wasn’t a really busy day but busier than it has been. But when I was not tending to customers and doing work related things and bloggy things, I read books on my Kindle app. It was frustrating at some points because the wifi would come on and I would begin writing things then trying to send them and it would go off before going through and sometimes I would lose what I wrote.
So I decided to see what quotes I have saved in my phone and found this! Great quote for the situation! πŸ˜€

Much love, ❀

Xoxo KimΒ