Cool Nights {it’s like a heatwave}

“If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy,
if a blade of grass springing up in the fields has power to move you,
if the simple things in nature have a message you understand,
Rejoice, for your soul is alive.” ~Eleanora Duse

This is exactly how it feels to me to acknowledge the beauty of Nature. I have always been aware of the profound beauty all around me even while in severe emotional or physical pain. Mindfulness of natural beauty and the thrill it brings have come easily to me for as long as I can remember. Even as a little girl I would be in awe of the simple joys of living. The blueness of the sky, the sparkle of the rain, the dramatic colors of sunsets, the scent of cold air, the fragrance of grass and soil, the seasons changing…but I never realized this as a “thing” or concept or way of life until years later when I decided to create a personal development plan to heal my depression and I learned about mindfulness and gratitude at deeper, more conscious levels.

I decided to take my natural ability and habit of being aware of and thankful for the beauty all around me and make it even deeper, a conscious, intentional habit.

This to me is truly living. And it’s beautiful and also helps me cope with pain of any kind. But even when I’m not in pain it’s a thrilling way to live. Living generally mindfully with a conscious frequent attitude of gratitude, not just as a fleeting mood or feeling, has a dramatic impact and healing effect. Being mindful of my mindfulness itself also uplifts me often, knowing I have this ability, that I accomplished this lovely way of living.

Mindfulness or awareness or acknowledgment of beauty and blessings, an attitude of gratitude as a conscious, intentional way of life are incredible life changing habits but they are not cures for anything. When we accomplish this and develop these habits we will still feel pain, unhappiness sometimes. And that’s the way it’s supposed to be when you think about it, right?! That’s what it is to be alive. To feel both happiness and unhappiness, pleasure and pain, joy and sadness, thrill and blah feelings. But those habits can help us cope when something unpleasant is occurring.

Summer is my least favorite season but I love all four lovely seasons. They all have their own blessings. One of the things I will miss most about Summer is the beautiful insects/flying creatures/kreepy krawlers….lol

The bumble bees and the butterflies, the fireflies and other beauties.

Many days this summer there was a bumble bee drinking nectar out of a bright orange flower on the street where I live. So many days I would walk by the beautiful vibrant flowers and see the bee there sucking through the center of one of them. Truly amazing to see such beauty! 

I got a few photos one day. 
I will also miss the flowers. But I usually don’t dwell on what I miss. Instead I focus on Now. Whatever is currently here is really all I have. All any of us has. It’s great to look forward to, hope for, and plan on things in the future but generally I believe it’s best to honor Now. Now is still Summer and right now it’s a heatwave.

95 degrees in September!! For real! It wasn’t even this hot all Summer! 

But I see signs of the impending Fall. Pumpkin lattes and coffee and donuts are already out!
I get in holiday and season spirit very early. In July I’m already ready for Fall and in October I’m ready for Christmas and snow! Lol

I think pumpkin coffee is more thrilling in cooler weather though and if I get it now in the midst of a heat wave then on the first crisp, Fall-like day it won’t be quite as thrilling. Still totally thrilling but not as much of a new feeling.

So I guess I will wait on that. Right now I’m drinking toasted almond coffee!

Here is a list of my favorite things about Autumn!

1.) Pumpkin Everything 

2.) Cool nights

3.) Fall fashion (although I dress like it’s Summer all year except I wear hoodies in Fall) I love seeing photos of Fall fashion and other girls wearing it. It’s just usually not the style for me to wear myself.

4.) The colorful leaves on the ground

5.) Halloween themes and Thanksgiving things. I believe in gratitude all year round but it seems everyone else gets in the mood for gratitude around the holiday season

6.) Hoodies

7.) the feel in the air, the mental feeling of Fall

8.) apples 

9.) Fall colors – brown, yellow, orange, red…

10.) candy corn!

11.) the fragrances of Fall -cinnamon, apple, cool air, pumpkin

12.) hot coffee, cocoa, tea…it’s just more magical in the Fall

13.)  my dog loves the Fall & Winter! She gets quiet all summer and on really hot days and isn’t as playful but as soon as Autumn is in the air, she gets all wild and playful and happy! She’s a big pitbull and loves blankies and pillows! She loves snow too!

14.) The Eastern Stare Penitentiary – the old prison has exhibits all year I think. To learn about the history and all but in the Fall they have the haunted attraction! We get to walk through and monsters jump out at us and there’s all kinds of gory stuff and creepy sounds. I don’t always get to go but I always see the advertisements and stuff and it’s fun! The first day I went was years ago in college with a group of other students and we were clinging to each other, holding onto each other, hugging each other like our lives depended on it! Lol it was fun! One funny memory I have is the group of us consisted of all girls and one boy and the boy was the most scared and tried to make us stand in the front and we told him since he’s the boy, he should be leading the way! Lol  I was so afraid we were going to be separated and I would be alone in small, dark places! When it was over we got outside and there were candy and caramel apples and monsters dancing and flashing lights! 

15.)  longer, darker nights

16.) Halloween decorations 

17.) Halloween lights

18.) pumpkin pie, apple pie, coconut custard pie

19.) cranberries!

20.) candy doesn’t melt in cool weather 

21.) Everything 

22.) hay rides

23.) apple spice 

24.) apple cider 

25.) sweaters 

26.) jack – o – lanterns 

27.) cool, windy days

28.) it gets dark early

29.) crunchy leaves

30.) sweet potatoes 

Fall just thrills me so much!

And since it’s still summer I will honor it with some lovely summery photos I took! 

This little beauty was drinking nectar through this bright orange flower all August long! I used to stand there and watch with wonder.

This fly was basking in a light rainy afternoon one day out in my backyard. I captured him and the glistening drops on the vibrant green leaf.

A different fly on the same day on a flower or leaf stem. Aren’t they beautiful?! Flies really can be quite lovely and I have great photographer skills, don’t you think?!

I think so too! 😀

Xoxo Kim

p.s. check out “Cool Night” by Paul Davis!! one of my favorite songs since I was a little girl! ❤

Follow Your Own Way

I recently read a very old and very short fictional story called “Young Goodman Brown” about a young man who initially has faith in the basic, universal goodness of humanity.   But things occur in the story to shake his faith. It falters then collapses and he’s convinced there isn’t much goodness in humans. 

This story, if I understand correctly, is inspired by the author’s real life situations.

I have been analyzing it and reading an analysis of it. It reminds me of a few quotes that are somewhere along the lines of “Be kind to people in general, even unkind ones, not because they’re kind but because you are.”

This quote implies kindness as a way of life and not a mere occasional act or feeling in response to environmental situations. Even when people are not kind, YOU still are. You can let your kind Way and your kind philosophy waver and lash out in unkindness or you can keep it firm and grounded and stay true to yourself even in the face of other people’s bitterness.

If you are a kind person, it’s easy to be loving, kind, compassionate…when it’s convenient, when you’re currently surrounded by goodness, beauty, sweetness, kindness, love. 

But what about when you are currently surrounded by someone else’s bitterness, what about when you encounter a rude person or a very unpleasant situation?   It can be so tempting to let our own kind, loving, compassionate, optimistic ways crumble.  And that doesn’t make someone a bad person.  Most of us probably have relapses and setbacks and it is natural to be defensive in situations where you feel threatened in some way.  But even in the midst of stress, chaos, rude people, negativity, pain, you’re still that kind, loving, caring you that you generally are. You’re still the you who believes in goodness, kindness, and love. Don’t forget you. Be true to and honor the you that you are.

You can build yourself so strong nothing will break what you are, nothing will bring your life philosophy, your morals and virtues, your principles, your deep wisdom to destruction. This isn’t to say we should be closed minded and restrained by our views that nothing and no one can enlighten us, educate us, or persuade us to a different view if we find evidence that that view may be true or better for us.   It’s to say that we don’t have to lose faith that people are basically good just because of an encounter with a few bad ones, we don’t have to resort to unkindness and bitterness because others are, we don’t have to stop loving because we find someone doesn’t love us in return, we don’t have to wish bad things for people because they wish bad things for us, we don’t have to let pain, horror, negativity, fear, depression, fury…bring our deep wisdom to ruin. We don’t have to let painful thoughts, feelings, and emotions convince us that life is bad.

We can have a firm sense of who we are and honor that someone, always. We can change, grow, expand, evolve in various ways but stay true to who we are.

This story and thoughts and concept helps me so much when I’m depressed or becoming depressed/suicidal.

I haven’t been real depressed for a while but a few nights ago I felt myself kind of slipping. I was in a depressed mood, not yet a full blown depressive episode but a very low, depressed mood and couldn’t sleep right. Through the years of my depressive illness I learned how to often, though not always, prevent a full blown episode when I feel it about to hit. And when I’m not successful in preventing it, I’m often better now, at coping with and “breezing right through it” than I could years ago.  So I was trying so hard not to let it get me.

I can often tell when I’m about to become suicidal or when suicidal thinking is about to occur.   A few nights ago, I was having suicidal thoughts that felt as if they were just getting stronger and stronger, not urges, not contemplation but if it got out of hand, it could have been headed that way.  There was no event that was currently happening to me to trigger this. I was on the verge of faltering.  Serious suicidal contemplation hasn’t happened for me in well over a year now. And I did not then and do not now want a relapse after all my hard work to prevent that sort of thinking/urges. But it takes a lot of energy to ward off those thoughts, feelings, emotions when I feel them swirling around in my head. A lot of energy and strength. I was angry, depressed and wanted to let myself sink and slip into that dark place I once lived, so long.

But I thought of my Way. My own Way. My own life philosophy that life is beautiful and hope can be restored.   There’s so much to live for. Even through the pain, life is a blessing. Gratitude saves my life sometimes. When I’m so drained and ready to cave, I think of all I have. All that I am.  It took a lot of practice to get my life philosophy so ingrained into me that it helps me fend off suicidal/depressive attacks. But I have accomplished so much with it.

It takes practice and work to build yourself so strong that even in the face of misery and seemingly unbearable pain and even being dragged into other people’s negativity,you remain true to yourself. Your deep, authentic self who knows true wisdom and your own Truth.

I hope you will choose to honor you, your true deep self, when you feel yourself slipping in any way, about to cave and give into negative actions. This isn’t only for depressed people who have what I have but even people without depression. Almost everyone has some kind of struggles or pain and can use some loving inspiration now and again.

“Love is always bestowed as a gift – freely, willingly and without expectation. We don’t love to be loved;we love to love.” ~ Leo Buscaglia 

Xoxo Kim 😀

The Versatile Blogger Award – Thank You Dr. Rex!!!! <3 :-D

I am so incredibly honored to be nominated for the Versatile Blogger Award by The incredible Dr. Rex!!!
Please visit her blog here:

http://hrexach.wordpress.com/

And see her nominations  post here:

http://hrexach.wordpress.com/2013/10/19/the-versatile-blogger-award/

I love when I receive awards, not only because it’s an incredible honor but I love the challenge/rules! And choosing a list of deserving people/blogs. That’s often hard because there’s so many!!

Here are the rules: 

Display the Award on your Blog.

Announce your win with a post and thank theBlogger who nominated you.

Present 15 deserving Bloggers with the Award.

Link your nominees in the post and let them know of their nomination with a comment.

Post 7 interesting things about yourself.

1.) I attended Temple University in Philadelphia, Pa, where I live, for Psychology & Philosophy.   I graduated with a B.A. Degree in 2010. I plan on being a mental health counselor or peer specialist of some sort. I took Philosophy just because I love it deeply and have a passion for it, purely out of interest. I took the classes just for fun without realizing I was getting credits that would qualify me to have some sort of job like a paralegal assistant or something.   They told me in school before graduation. Lol good to know but not my intention! 🙂

2.) Oldies music and country music are my love and I rarely find people who love those kinds like I do.

3.) People often speak of childhood dreams and ask kids what they would love to be when they grow up. The truth is, as a young child, I always lived in the present moment, naturally, not as a conscious decision. So I never really had any big dreams for when I would grow up. When people would ask, I would make stuff up. Lol I have said I would be a veterinarian, a chemist, a scientist…but I was always interested in counseling, even as a little girl. My mom and dad always had marital problems and I often felt that I knew what they can do to make it better. 
it wasn’t until I was sixteen years old though, that I knew I want to be a counselor of some sort if I lived to be an adult and could function well enough (I struggle with suicidal depression and have since I was a child and never knew I would live this long.)

4.)  I’m so easily amused, I laugh at everything and nothing.   I have those good belly laughs that hurt, everyday, usually more than once a day. I don’t laugh at the expense of people. I laugh at stupid jokes, risqué jokes, little things that happen throughout the day, at myself…   No matter how sad or low I am I can usually laugh hard til it hurts. I’m genuinely amused, I’m a playful, silly girl with a tender and light heart. It gets me in trouble sometimes but oh well! Lol. ;-D

5.) I’m very good at putting on eye makeup, even liquid eyeliner, and even in two seconds if I have to.

6.) I’m real good at debating. I have natural debating skills. I can argue so good for any side of an argument even a side I strongly oppose. I have been told since I was a young girl by various people in various places, that I should be a lawyer. Lol ;-). In my critical thinking class in college, during an exam, I found an alternative answer to some logic problem, I can’t remember what, that even the professor, a lawyer, himself, did not realize at first. I got extra credit, along with one other student who solved the problem the same way.

7.) I’m terrible with numbers, I failed math classes in college and almost got thrown out.  I’m even horrible at basic math like simple addition, subtraction, and counting.   It was suggested to me by an educational psychologist in college that I may have an actual mathematical disability but I was never tested even though I struggled my whole life with it.  Numbers confuse me so much but I’m good with words, I suppose. 🙂

Here are fifteen blogs other than Dr. Rex’s that I adore, some I have known about for a while, others I have recently come across and I’m so blessed!

http://etsuchan.wordpress.com/

http://whitneyism.wordpress.com/

http://greenhornphotos.com/

http://theaustrianrose.wordpress.com/

http://wordslikesilk.com/

http://selflovewarrior.com/

http://awindowofwisdom.wordpress.com/

http://icanbeatit.wordpress.com/

http://studentswithbirds.wordpress.com/

http://abbeygallagher.wordpress.com/

http://gyatoday.wordpress.com/

http://rosebushchronicles.com/

http://thebettermanprojects.com/

http://journeyofshe.wordpress.com/

http://5kidswdisabilities.com/

Thank You, Dr. Rex, I’m so happy to receive this award and thank you and all of the other people listed above for blessing us all with the beauty of your light that shines brightly on us all!

😀

Xoxo Kim

Liebster Award (Thank You Etsuchan!!!) :-D

I am so honored and very happy to announce that Etsuchan :  http://etsuchan.wordpress.com/

Has nominated me for the Liebster blog Award!!!
:-D. I love that someone likes my blog enough to find me deserving of this!

Here are the rules:

Each nominee must link back the person who nominated them.
Answer the 10 questions which are given to you by the nominator.

Nominate 10 other bloggers for this award (

Create 10 questions for your nominees to answer.

Let the nominees know that they have been nominated by going to their blog and notifying them.

Here are the questions that Etsuchan http://etsuchan.wordpress.com/ 
Has asked her nominees to answer & my answers:

1. Why did you start blogging in the first place?

I started this blog to record /share all of the thoughts and things that inspire & uplift me. I struggle with a severe form of depression & a currently incurable chronic facial pain disorder which tends to flare up and cause severe pain and I  have learned positive ways to cope with it and often prevent severe flare ups of both, using positive techniques. I believe inspirational ideas, personal development, self-help, and general positivity can help everyone, not just those who struggle with a disability/illness. And I believe there’s always room for development. I love to help, share with, and inspire people so I created this blog to help others in any way I can and to help myself.

2. What was your favourite childhood toy?
I used to have a small stuffed, tan, bear I loved so much! I wish I still had him! I also used to love baby dolls!

3. “I have a dream!” – what is yours?
My dream for the world is for more tolerance, acceptance, & love, empathy, compassion, healing, and understanding of others, cures for diseases, ending starvation….for all living, sentient beings. And my dream for myself is to have a job helping others, something like a mental health counselor,peer specialist, or something of that sort.

4. Do you have pets? If so, tell us 3 facts about your pet. If not, which pet would (or wouldn’t) you like to have?

I have pets! Quite a few! They are the center of my universe!


Isis Summerjo – a very large pit bull! She is big and cuddly,very gentle and loving, easily afraid of things like balloons, talking toys, cats..she’s a big baby!   She gives her paw without being asked, when she wants whatever food we are eating. She steals my blankets every night! She’s 6 years old! 😀

Oscar – a little shih tzu boy. He is very cute and loves to be held and loves to beg for food. While he loves to be held,he doesn’t like the process of being picked up! He growls! Lol. He reminds us of a human boy/man. My mom and me joke a lot that he’s “a real boy” or a man trapped in a dog’s body! Lol He seems to know certain things that dogs don’t really know. He always loved watching my sister or me take our shirts off, he just stares & stares! He likes girls’ boobs. My sister thinks it’s creepy! Lol. And he doesn’t like anyone to see him going potty. He goes to a little hiding place to go! Lol

Boobie – Boobie’s given name is actually Sweetheart but when we got her 11 years ago, almost, I started calling her Boobie just because I thought it seemed like a cute name for her. Boobie is what everyone calls her. Except my mom calls her Pup. Boobie is a chihuahua/dashund mix. She is very friendly but she doesn’t want the outside world to exist! lol.  She doesn’t like strangers and any noise outside she barks and growls like crazy!   She loves to snuggle up and she brings toys and does little dances when we have food so that we’ll give her some! We did not teach her to do this, she just does it! On September 6th, this month, Boobs will be 11 years old!  
And we will celebrate!

Emmy – Emmy is my little 8 month old pomeranian boy . We had him for almost 5 months but it feels like forever now and I love him as much as all the others. He is extremely wild, energetic, loving and playful! My mom calls him “the little terror.”. He has a mischievous look always on his little face. He loves being a bad boy!  He actually looks around to see what he can get into.   He’s frequently into stuff he shouldn’t be and is always on the go!  He chews up shoes and things, bras are his favorite! He loves to be held and he cannot give enough kisses! He chewed my watch and ripped my nose ring out which I had for almost 10 years!   He is an extremely intelligent boy and he goes in my bag and takes out slim Jims that he knows are in there for them because I get them at work for treats for them. Sometimes he brings slim Jims to my mom, dad, and me all night to open up for him, while we’re sleeping! Lol

These fur babies are all spoiled! Lol! They get everything they want as long as it’s safe for them.   They sleep in bed and on furniture and we celebrate every one of their anniversaries and birthdays and they get toys & treats.   I have had dogs my whole life and can never imagine not sharing my life with a dog.

We also have cats, ferrets, and birdies! I love them all!!

5. Your source of inspiration for your posts?
Sometimes I just have thoughts/ideas that I feel the desire to post because I think they are interesting, uplifting, positive, and helpful and inspiring.   Also, pain, any kind of pain, inspires me to post or write. I know that writing and sharing can help me cope and help someone else who may be struggling. And I have developed a positive habit of letting pain remind me of beauty and good things and when I think of or see beautiful or good things, I am inspired to write & share! I also like to share what I have learned & what I think about it when I read things in books or online.

6. The worst life experience
I will tell about one recent one I have posted about.   My dog, Koko, who was a pomeranian mix died of old age in April this year. We had her for 12 years and she was 14 years old. It is one of the most painful experiences ever.   It was so hard to handle. Shortly after Koko died, I saw a sign advertising that pom puppies needed a home. There was one left and my mom thought it would be a sweet honor of Koko since she was a pom mix,if we get this little pom boy. Everyone agreed and we got him! Although I love him just as much, no one can ever replace someone who has died and I don’t want anyone to. I love that we were able to give Emmy a loving furever home and he helps so much with my grief. He brings so much joy.

7. The best life experience
I don’t have just one. I think everyday is beautiful but one life experience that I am blessed with is healing my depression and now being generally and genuinely happy instead of depressed & being able to positively share my experiences & lessons learned with others and letting other people & their experiences teach me. I still have severe flare ups of depression but not as often and they usually are not as bad and don’t last as long as they used to. And I can cope much better when I am hit with one.  I have severe recurrent episodes and used to have mild /moderate depression in the middle of severe episodes.   Now I don’t have depression in the middle of severe episodes usually, just happiness. I can find beauty & inspiration everywhere I look. I can now see how depression made me better than if I never experienced it. I work on myself constantly to be the best me I can be. I let the pain make me better,not bitter. I still have relapses every now & then but I don’t struggle almost everyday anymore like I used to.

8. Describe the clothes you’re wearing right now
I’m in my pj’s in bed! Lol. Short pink shorts and a yellow flowered design, strapless shirt! 😀

9. If you could save the world from the bad aliens, how would you do that? 

Hmmm…good question!! lol! What I would do is create a vacuum – like machine and suck all the aliens in! Then I would put them all into a big room together and then gather up some human volunteers to help me educate the aliens on kindness & acceptance of diversity. Trying to get them to want to be good and not destructive and want to work together with other living beings for the common good. If they had a change of heart, I would love for them to join us or visit us more here on Earth and we can all be one big happy family! If not I would use the vacuum like machine to send them back to their homeland and keep a watch on them to make sure they do not try to destroy the Earth! Lol ;-D

10. Perfect names for your children..?
I like Kimball for a boy! Named after me.
I have always loved Jacqueline for a girl. So pretty. 

Thank You so much Etsuchan 
http://etsuchan.wordpress.com/
for these lovely questions! Very interesting! I love the mix and had so much fun answering them!

Now here are 10 of my favorite blogs other than 

http://etsuchan.wordpress.com/

That I an nominating!

http://terry1954.wordpress.com/

http://gyatoday.wordpress.com/

http://studentswithbirds.wordpress.com/

http://awindowofwisdom.wordpress.com/

http://talesbycindy.wordpress.com/

http://wordslikesilk.com/

http://pflead73.wordpress.com/

http://lesleycarter.wordpress.com/

http://herbloggings.wordpress.com/

http://rosebushchronicles.com/

These are not in any certain order, just random and I know some have more than the maximum amount of followers required but oh well! ;-D

Please check out these wonderful blogs!! And don’t forget to also check out:

http://etsuchan.wordpress.com/ 

I love her blog and her amazing outlook on life and things!! 😀

Here are my 12 questions but the rule is you only have to answer 10 if you want! So you can choose 10 of the 12 if you want or less if that’s what you prefer!   Whatever floats your boat!     That’s if you want to, of course, you can choose to answer none!  😀

1.). What are a few things that inspire you to be the best you?

2.). Tell about one thing you find to be beautiful that many/most people seem to see as ugly.

3.) To you, what constitutes true friendship?

4.) What is one painful experience you previously endured that you now see as a blessing?

5.) What is your favorite book? Or one of them?

6.) What is one song that can be considered one of your life theme songs? One that describes you, your life in general, or your outlook on something.

7.). What are three quotes that inspire you somehow? 

8.) If you had to choose, would you choose to have average intelligence and be ridiculously beautiful physically or have average physical beauty but be a genius?

9.) Do you have a Philosophy of life that you consciously try to live by? If so, briefly explain the basics of it.

10.) Which one of your senses (see, hear, taste, feel/touch, smell) do you think would be the most difficult to live without?

11.). What are three things you like about yourself that are not physical characteristics? (personality traits, virtues..) Now list three things you like about yourself that are physical characteristics. (eye color, hair, legs…)

12.) What accomplishment of yours are you most proud of?

Thank You SO MUCH again Etsuchan!!!

http://etsuchan.wordpress.com/

This was so much fun!!


I love these blogs and many more and all of these bloggers contribute so much with their writing & thoughts & pictures, heartbreak & joy, happiness& sadness, laughter & tears, input & caring to share with us all!

Xox0 Kim