Tag Archive | humor

Best advice for dealing with facial wrinkles

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“stop standing so close to the mirror then you won’t see them!” 

lolz! ;-D

Yup!  

(sorry if you clicked open my post hoping to find some magic wrinkle solution….i have  nothing of that sort!) 😉

 I saw this recently and it’s really funny but also conveys a certain wisdom. 

It trivializes having wrinkles! But wrinkles ARE trivial! Lol

Like who cares?! 

And seriously though, wrinkles don’t hurt or anything, at least not physically, so out of sight, out of mind, right?!

😀 

Wrinkles are just part of aging and living is a good thing so having wrinkles is just a reminder of our blessing of life.

Many people are denied the gift of life. Sickness, accidents, homicide, heart attacks, ruptured brain aneurysms…all claim the lives of way too many each day… those people would have probably taken wrinkles any day over the fate they suffered. 

But we don’t have that choice. 

We can just have gratitude for what we have while we still have it. And forget what we cannot control.  

Also, I have a non life threatening and currently uncurable/mostly untreatable facial pain disorder, usually the pain is mild and not a problem but it flares up to seemingly unbearable levels sometimes, so wrinkles are the least of my concern! 

I’ll take the facial wrinkles over the facial pain any day! When we have a serious illness or pain, it puts things into a certain kind of perspective and we often come to see the triviality of things that once seemed important or are considered serious by many. 

My pain is near constant but only the mild kind. The moderate and severe and the unbearably severe are not constant and usually not long lasting. So the thing is, when the headache flares up to unbearable levels, I see how trivial everything truly is. Then I promise myself that when the pain lessens I will for sure never ever again complain about anything trivial. I’m not much of a complainer anyway but can’t honestly say I never complain or take things too seriously. 

But I always go back to getting used to not being in severe physical pain and forget my promise. Sometimes I remember out of nowhere what it’s like to be in that much pain (it’s like a severe toothache all over the side of my face and sometimes a severe burning sensation like being burned with scalding water and a hot poker driven through my eye socket, I imagine, and like electric shocks searing through my face and head – I don’t know how anyone can endure it but somehow we do) and just remembering reminds me to trivialize everything but in a good way. And each headache is a beautiful reminder. 

Wrinkles aren’t something I get all worked up over but other things I do sometimes like if I don’t get enough sleep or have a sinus cold and have dark circles around my eyes or my face breaks out (lack of sleep is a bitch like that! Lol).

But when my chronic headache flares up, it’s like it all goes out the window and I couldn’t care less about everything else.

While it’s unpleasant that it’s something so severe that does that to me, it’s also a great thing that I have that reminder.

Like now, I’m not in severe pain but just remembering this pain reminds me. 

And this funny suggestion above!  

I hope this puts a smile on your face! 😀

“And there are lines upon my face
From a lifetime of smiles
When the time comes to embrace
For one long last while
We can laugh about
How time really flies
We won’t say good-bye
Cause’ true love never dies…
You’ll always be beautiful in my eyes”

Beautiful in My Eyes – Joshua Kadison – mobile

Beautiful in My Eyes – desktop

Oh my! My heart just melts! ❤ ❤ Listen to/read those lyrics!!

😀

And I hope you're having a lovely day or night wherever in the world you are!

Much love & light, 

Xoxo Kim 

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For shitz & gigglez ;-D

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(this isn’t my picture! But sexy, isn’t it?! My mom sent me it! Lol)

Here’s a few hilarious jokes! I hope they give you some good belly laughs! ;-D

“When Grandma Goes To Court” 

“Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer. 

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, “Why yes I do know you, since you were a little boy, and frankly you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you’ll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes I know you. 

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney? 

She replied, “Why yes I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem, He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.” 

The defense attorney nearly died. 

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice said: 

‘If either of you idiots ask her if she knows me, I’ll send you straight to the electric chair.'”

Lol! 😀

“Why did you have to die?”

“A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.
The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?”
The first man approached him and said, ‘Sir, I don’t wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I’ve ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?’
The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, ‘My wife’s first husband.'”

😀

“A woman was sipping on a glass of wine, while sitting on the patio with her husband, and she says, “I love you so much, I don’t know how I could ever live without you.”
Her husband asks, “Is that you or the wine talking?”
She replies, “It’s me…talking to the wine.”

😀

“Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together. The first one tells her friends, “My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him ‘Father.'” The second Catholic woman chirps, “My son is a Bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, ‘Your Grace.'” The third Catholic woman says smugly, “My son is a Cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, ‘Your Eminence.'” The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her this subtle “Well…?” She replies, “My son is a gorgeous, 6’2, hard bodied stripper. When he walks into a room, people say, ‘Oh my God…'”

😀

“A woman and her husband did not get along. One day he said to her, “If it wasn’t for my money, that new television wouldn’t be here. If it wasn’t for my money, that grand piano wouldn’t be here. If it wasn’t for my money, this house wouldn’t be here.” she replied “If it wasn’t for your money, I wouldn’t be here.”

These are jokes I came across some years ago and they never get old! ;-D

And here is a funny sticker I got out of a machine last night!

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and…..

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(this isn’t my photo either)

Much luv to you!! 😀

Xoxo Kim ❤

You nosy little pervert ;-D

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Get outta here you nosy little pervert or I’m gonna slap you silly! Lol! ;-D 

I took this picture of this clown May 2014 and had fun being silly with an app on my phone. I am very easily amused! 

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I decided to go find these pics on my Facebook account and share them here!

And here’s a great song! Lol ;-D

Cool Jerk – The Capitols – mobile

Cool Jerk – desktop

And a funny scene in the hilarious movie Home Alone 2, one of the best movies ever!

Uncle Frank shower scene – mobile

Uncle Frank shower scene – desktop

lol! ;-D

~Hugs & love~ & lots of giggles! ;-D ❤

xoxo Kim 😀

Beyond the Darkness

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“Beyond the darkness, the Light laughs.”

Isn’t this a beautiful quote?!

I love it because it’s full of hope and also playful. 

My picture above is one I took recently in Center City, Philadelphia. It’s perfect for this post because it’s so dark but with a few lights in the buildings off in the distance. Even small specks of light are strong.

Here is that hilarious and very popular video, “Charlie Bit My Finger!” It’s so cute and funny! My professor in college showed us it years ago. He is of the same country these little kids are but he moved here and teaches psychology classes. I love their accent! I remember laughing hysterically at this video and couldn’t stop even when everyone else stopped laughing! And it’s still just as funny today! Laughter can brighten any day and lighten a heavy heart. I hope this uplifts you if you’re in need or just gives you a good laugh and maybe you find the quote inspiring like I do!

Charlie Bit My Finger – mobile

Charlie Bit My Finger – desktop

Hugs & love today & always,

❤ 😀

xoxo Kim 

Boogers <3

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So today I been eating boogers! Lol

They aren’t really boogers though(in case anyone thinks I really eat my boogers…).

They are candy made to look and feel (hopefully not taste?) like real boogers.

They have a pleasant after taste. 

Yum!

I don’t know though, have you ever seen real ones that look like this?!

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Lol

And they aren’t sticky or anything so I suppose they don’t feel like real ones. I don’t pick my nose (usually..lol jk never!) so I wouldn’t know. 

They are also very large for the real thing. 
I feel kind of sorry for you if your boogies are this big. :-/
And if they’re this green you may have a sinus/ear/throat infection, I think, but as I am not an infectious disease specialist, I wouldn’t recommend taking my word for it!

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They are supposed to be tangy and they do have a bit of a tang to them. But they also kind of taste like cheap plastic.(whatever that tastes like…)

I’m going to give out bags of boogers for Halloween tomorrow! It will be so funny when the little kids find them in their bags of candy! I give candy to older kids & adults as well but candy boogers are funnier for the little ones!

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I got the last bag! The boogies have been flying off the shelves; they’re quite the hit, it seems!

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I was out with my mom and saw this bag of boogers box and joyfully showed my mom who wasn’t as thrilled as me! Then I saw one bag left and said “look only one bag left!” And my mom, rolling her eyes knew that meant I wanted them and she said “just get them!!” lol

She thinks they’re nasstayyy!

;-D

They remind me of those Harry Potter jelly beans. Remember those? They were popular for a while. There was all kinds of bizarre flavors such as vomit, dirt, booger, earwax, Earthworm, soap, and also a couple normal flavors like cherry & apple & marshmallow ….kids in high school used to trick each other giving one another the most disgusting flavors! lol 

This reminds me of buttered popcorn flavored jelly beans! Oh my! They are DELICIOUS!! I haven’t had them in years and every now & then I remember them and have an intense craving for them! Not even like just a mood where I want them but an all out physical craving like a pregnant girl craves like pickles and ice cream or something! Lol 

I really have to find out where to buy those!  

Here are some of my pictures to brighten your day! 

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I got this pic walking to work today!

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I took this picture on my way to meditation class last night in Center City!

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I LOVE this!!! The Nightmare Before Christmas is my favorite!!

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The anniversary girl, Lacey!! ❤

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This is me!! 😀

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And someone threw this outside work tonight for me to have to clean up! Fun! But it’s ok it’s what kids are supposed to do, get into a lil bit of mischeif the night before Hallows Eve!! 😀

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My pumpkin pj shorts! ❤

And a song!

Sea Cruise – Johnny Rivers – mobile

Sea Cruise – desktop

Listen to the lyrics and see if you can guess why it’s somewhat appropriate for this post. Hint: it has a certain word in it.

(I’m very mature!! ;-D) 

Lots of love & boogers to you tonight & always!!!

😀 ❤

Xoxo Kim 

I need some pasta! Like real bad!

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“I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.” ~Woody Allen 😀

It’s the closest picture of mine I was able to find that is relevant to pasta talk. Oh, and yes, that is my baby walking on me!

And no this isn’t a foodie or recipe post!

(I like eating noodles and rice and stuff out of cups. It tastes better to me in styrophoam cups.)

I need some pasta, baby, tonight, gotta have some PASTA!! Lmao!

 Those are some commonly mis-heard lyrics of Donna Summer’s, Hot Stuff,(writers:Pete Bellotte, Harold Faltermeier, Keith Forsey)many people have really thought (and maybe still think?!) that she is singing “pasta” instead of “Hot stuff,” and after finding that out some years ago, I cannot help but laugh whenever I hear this song. Like bellylaughing til my face hurts because I can’t stop! Listen to the song but block out the words “Hot stuff” and replace them in your mind with “pasta” and see if you don’t laugh hysterically. This girl is in desperate need of some PASTA!!! She’s going to lose her head if she doesn’t get some pasta this evenin’! ;-D :-p
And it probably doesn’t help that in the beginning she sings “sittin’ here eatin’ my heart out…,” it kind of does fit with the whole misunderstood pasta thing!  
I’m sittin’ here now laughing my pants off!
It never gets old!

It’s just so hilarious thinking about a whole song being about desperately wanting pasta! 😀

“Lookin’ for some hot stuff pasta, baby, this evenin’
I need some hot stuff pasta, baby, tonight
I want some hot stuff pasta,
baby, this evenin’
Gotta have some hot stuff pasta
Gotta have some love tonight
I need hot stuff pasta
I want some hot stuff pasta
hot stuff pasta
I need some hot stuff pasta” 

And here it is, the amazing HOT STUFF!!

Hot Stuff – mobile

Hot Stuff – desktop

If this doesn’t get you pumped, I don’t know what will!

I want to sing it for karaoke one night!

Now I’m in the mood for some pasta! Maybe tonight I’ll get some! ;-D

Hugs & love to you! And a whole lotta pasta!!

😀

xoxo Kim ❤

Sick Bastards & a few other things <3

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This isn’t a book review to tell you how great some books are! It’s to let you know how great the books’ titles are, which if you keep reading you will see for yourself!

Here are a few things that have me in stitches today and hopefully you can find some of them amusing too! 😀

Amazon sent me a book recommendation for a book called “Sick Bastards” and that is hilarious. Matt Shaw is the author. 

I was reading some of the reviews and someone wrote “Matt Shaw is one sick bastard” and this made me laugh harder. 

It’s said to be a great book but with an exceptional amount of gore. It’s only 99 cents for now. I don’t know if I will buy the book. I’m not the biggest fan of gore although I have read gory books I love but those also have more than just gore. Maybe this one does too, I’m not sure. People said it’s a great story. I’m thinking of buying the book just for the cover because I do judge books by their covers. And it sure is worth the 99 cents!

He also has a book called “SickER Bastards” and one called “F*cked up shorts.” No, I don’t have any hesitation about writing (or saying) the word FUCK, it’s just that the book is called “F*cked…” I never quite understood why people write curse words if they’re only going to censor them. I think most of us know what they’re trying to say and the concept is the same whether they spell out the word or skip some letters.  Guess it just takes a certain kind of balls to go all the way and spell it out! 
Maybe on some social media places we can be reported for writing the words out! I hope WordPress isn’t one! ;-D

He also has books called “Snuff,” “P*o*r*n,” and “Home Video.”

Do I even want to know?

It says they are all extreme horror, sex, and violence. 

Umm, eww, no thanks. 

and btw, his book called “p.o.r.n” doesn’t really have the stars or dots in the title. I put them because the word “p.o.r.n” on blogs tends to attract p.o.r.n.o spam and p.o.r.n.o blogs begin stalking us. I have nothing against p.o.r.n but I don’t want it accidentally coming through in my comments because not everyone who reads my content may want to see it and it may be viruses too. My sister looked up some funny dr. seuss book for adults before when we were out with my friend and then her accounts were being attacked by p*o*r*n0 stuff all night! lmao! It was hilarious but she wasn’t too amused after a while!

Anyway, this Matt Shaw is starting to seem like he may actually be one sick bastard! Lol 

I LOVE the name of his books though!

My pup, Woody, a little chihuahua, helped himself to one of my dad’s crackers out of the pack and he knew he was doing something wrong and kept turning his little head real fast back and forth to make sure no one was coming to take his cracker! It was the most adorable thing! He’s a silly boy. ❤ 

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This is Woody.

He has a big belly and he’s a very snuggly boy, sleeps with me every night and he’s so bad! He chews everything!  

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Yes, he did that to the shade. A little thing like this can do this much damage. I have five other dogs so he gets a little help with his destruction once in a while but he’s the main culprit.

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Does he look like a stoner or what!?

My mom calls him the little porker. ❤

Also, this:

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Lol sorry, Republicans but this is funny! 

(not my photo)

Some years ago, I remember outside a church where election polls were being held, a dog tried going in when someone was walking him and the people working the polls were joking and said “don’t let the dog in he’s a republican…!” lol 😀

And did you think I would let the dems get off easy? Never! Heres one for them too:

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I really do sleep like this!

;-D

(also not my pic)

I think political jokes are hilarious even if it’s poking fun at “my side” of an issue. Lol

And here’s a little something to piss off the atheists.

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(not my picture)

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(yes, this is totally me)

(but this is totally not my picture!)

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(also not my picture!)

Looks like I have it in for the atheists today! 

You can go easy on the ass-kicking, atheists, I’m one of you! Lol ;-D

Here is a funny picture that is not mine:

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Poor tin man, he doesn’t have a heart and now it seems he doesn’t have joints or muscles either. ❤

And here's me:

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This is me a few days ago but I look like a little kid playing dress up trying to look older. Recently someone seriously asked me if I graduated high school yet! 

My mom said I look eight years old in this picture, especially with my “innocent” pose. And she thinks it’s hilarious. It’s ridiculous. Women are often known for wanting to look younger than their age. I was never one of those women. I want to look my age. People have told me it’s a compliment to have people think I look younger. But even for women who want to look younger, do you really want to look like a child?! Come on now!

Looking a few years younger is one thing, looking a few DECADES younger is quite another!  

Lol 

And here I am again! 

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And one last pic of me:

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What’s it with me taking pics in the closet at work? Lol who knows?! 

But at least I look a tad older here (I hope.).

Ok, I think I’m done being obnoxious for the day. Here are two sweet love songs. Universal Love songs, not romantic ones. 

Keep Loving – mobile

Keep Loving – desktop

“Whether you got a family or single parentin’-
Or your Asian, African, European or American
Whether you pray-to-God or atheist is irrelevant
Cuz what you got inside is the same as all your brethren
So keep loving,
It’ll change your heart, it’ll change your mind
And then you’ll start to change your eyes
So keep loving
Everything you touch, everyone you see
Will soon become, your family”

Love One Another – mobile

Love One Another – desktop

“Love one another
Take your brother by the hand
The world will watch in wonder
Love will make them understand
Love one another
And your love will change the world”

Much love & laughter to you, I love you no matter what your views are, Republican, Democrat, Muslim, Arab, Christian, Atheist, rich, poor, homeless, whatever ethnicity, skin color, physical appearance, weight, size, sexual orientation, gender, gender identity…let’s take the messages in these songs to heart and let’s all laugh together at our own selves and each other, in a playful way, not a mocking way. We’re all in this together. ❤ ❤

😀

Xoxo Kim