Tag Archive | inner strength

F.E.A.R

My therapist recently told me that we have a choice for how to handle fear. We can Fuck Everything and Run (lol!) or Face Everything and Recover. He said that both are ok but of course facing & recovering is more healthy and in the end will likely bring us the more desired results.

Recently, I encountered a scary situation. And I remembered my F.E.A.R choices. And I chose to……fuck everything and run. Lol!

The scary situation? Having to go into a building with an elevator.

In case you don’t know, I’m deathly afraid of being closed in small places alone, especially elevators – always have been and don’t know why – sometimes I actually feel like I’m going to die when I just think about it; I actually feel like death is around me, squeezing me, suffocating me. You can read more about my struggles & victories in these posts if you want!

It actually freaking happened

Serendipitous Strength

welcome to rock bottom – the only way is up

My choices? To suck it up and get on the elevator & know I have the courage & strength to handle it (going up I have to get on because the door to stairs is locked but coming back down, I can take the stairs), to take advantage of this opportunity for growth or to take the stairs and avoid that fear and the possibility of getting trapped on one by myself. And yes, I chose the second. :-/

Generally, I’m really good with facing my fear and even staying calm and getting inside the elevators alone. But this is the building where I recently got stuck in one, very briefly but still not pleasant(and I handled it so well, I must say!) and I just felt that I was in no mood for any nonsense that morning. Lol

It’s good for me to get onto elevators alone as much as I can so I can stregthen my courage & inner peace with them. I haven’t suffered any terrible relapse recently. But it’s possible that I can as I have before. Sometimes my heart still races a bit and my hands almost tremble when I get onto elevators alone but sometimes I’m very calm when I do. For a while, my phobic fear was pretty much gone, healed, recoverd. But I suffered a relapse a while ago and began to struggle again. Nowhere near as badly as before but still a bit of a struggle.

The morning I was in that building, I was struggling with the phobic fear and wasn’t up to facing it.

So when the elevator doors opened, I bolted and ran for the stairs.

I won’t make a habit of it. I will still choose to get into elevators alone and know I can handle whatever comes my way. I will remember my strength and progress and accomplishments. But there will also be moments I’ll give into weakness, forget my strength and courage and take the easy way, the way that doesn’t allow as much growth and an opportunity to strengthen my courage & virtue of patience. And that’s ok too!

We don’t always, always have to be strong and brave and inspiring and positive and perfect.

I’m generally very positive and mostly use social media for sharing inspirational and/or happy/positive things. But I also think it’s good to be genuine and share my not so inspiring experiences/choices. Like running away and not facing my fear.

I was disappointed that I couldn’t write a post about how I was brave and strong in the face of my phobic fear and how I handled it like a pro! Lol I was sorry I couldn’t use my own experience to try to inspire others or encourage someone to be brave, feel the fear and do it anyway. I could have written that post but it would be dishonest.

But then I remembered that sharing our weaknesses and less than pleasant aspects and experiences can be just as inspiring and just as encouraging and uplifting to others as sharing our strengths. There are others who run, make mistakes, have setbacks, do things that aren’t the best. And sharing this can help each other see that someone else understands and that it’s actually ok. We have permission to not always be positive and strong and brave. We have permission to falter. To stumble. To fall. We have permission to run once in a while. Just so long as it doesn’t become a habit or way of life, it’s all good! And if it does become an unhealthy habit, that’s ok, we can fix it. Habits can be reversed. Fall and get back up.

Feel the fear and do it anyway.

Or not.

Whatever you choose, I’m here cheering you on!

Virtual Hugs to you! ❤ (virtual hugs are good for all because even if you don’t like actual hugs, you’re not actually being touched. lol)

Xoxo Kim

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Motivation❤

When I saw this today, I was instantly inspired. This quote is referring to the sport of running but can apply to any routine, sport, hobby…we engage in or would like to. Anything we want to make a habit or way of life, if we practice enough with no excuses, it will eventually became as natural or ingrained as breathing or brushing our teeth each day. Some examples are exercise routine, gratitude journaling, meditation, even things that may seem easier or more simple such as just taking a few minutes out each day to breathe or listen to uplifting music. It can be difficult and takes self discipline, patience, willpower, serious motivation….to develop even simple positive habits and stick with them enough until they become ingrained or “second nature.”

In this quote, the person mentions after “many long years,” we get to the mentality where we “just have to.” Being tired, raining out, freezing cold, too much other stuff to do….doesn’t matter. Whatever our goal is, is what has to be done. But we don’t even have to have been practicing for many years to get to “I just have to.” Even if we just set a goal today, we have to stick with it if it’s a serious goal of ours. We just have to. That’s how we get to the “many long years.”

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

This reminds me of another quote I come across now & again, I don’t remember the exact words but it’s about how there will never be “perfect conditions” or a “perfect time” to begin or do something. There will always be some excuse we can come up with for procrastinating. It will be cold or hot or raining or we will be tired or have too much to do or be hungry or maybe have a bit of a common cold…but none of this matters. These things are “beside the point.” They don’t matter.

Bloom where you’re planted.

If you have any goals/dreams, whether they are new or old and whether you have just begun or been practicing for months or years, keep going!! Even if it’s not always easy, it’s always worth it! It doesn’t matter if it’s raining or it’s cold or we’re tired….just keep it moving and love the journey that is leading to something wonderful!❤

Hugs! & Much love & light,

Xoxo Kim