Tag Archive | kindness

Jealous bitches be like…☹😾👎

Lol! Jk Please don’t mind the offensive title. This is a post on jealousy I had planned since like October, originally titled On Jealousy til one morning when I was about to get a shower and this new title popped into my head & I burst out laughing. Hopefully no one reads the title and thinks it’s a dramatic rant about jealous people doing me wrong and just disregards it because Geshe-la has some serious wisdom to open us up to or remind us and I wouldn’t want my jestful title to turn people away! lol 😉 You won’t find any rants in this here post! 😀

Here are some wise words on jealousy, by Geshe-la.

“Anger is often related to jealousy and so we need to try to overcome both these delusions. When a rival is successful or praised, it is very easy to feel jealous, but why should someone else’s happiness make us unhappy? If we step out of our egocentric view for a moment and put ourself in the other person’s place, instead of feeling the pain of jealousy we can rejoice and share in his or her happiness.

When a jealous person sees signs of other people’s success and good fortune, his heart is pierced with envy. But someone who has learned to rejoice in the good fortune of others experiences only happiness. Seeing another person’s beautiful house or attractive partner immediately makes him happy-the fact that they are not his own is irrelevant. When he sees a colleague praised or promoted, or when he meets someone who is more intelligent, good-looking, or successful than he is, instead of immediately being reminded of his own inadequacies he simply shares in the other person’s happiness.

Rejoicing in other people’s happiness or good qualities is one of the purest of all virtuous minds, because it is unstained by self-cherishing. When we practice giving, for example, it is possible that we might hope for something in return-for gratitude, to be liked, or to be thought of as a generous person-but when we rejoice in another’s good fortune we expect nothing in return.”

&

“Jealousy is one of the most senseless and purposeless of all delusions. Nothing can be gained from being jealous of another’s good fortune, good job, reputation, or success. Suppose someone gives a rival some money. The jealousy and unhappiness we feel about this will do nothing to change the situation. Whether our rival is given money or not, there is no way we are going to receive that money ourself. So why should we be jealous? Furthermore, developing jealousy on the one hand, while wishing to obtain wealth and possessions on the other, are contradictory states of mind. Why? The root cause of receiving wealth, possessions, and any other pleasurable things is our own accumulation of virtue, which is created by giving, rejoicing, appreciating and respecting others, and so forth. However, when due to our self-centered view of the world strong jealousy arises in our mind, the potentialities of these virtuous actions are damaged and so our chances of experiencing good fortune in the future are diminished or destroyed. Therefore, if we really wish to obtain good fortune, wealth, and so forth in the future, we should guard our mind well, and instead of allowing jealousy to arise in response to others’ happiness, we should rejoice.

There is also no reason to be happy when our enemy meets with suffering, because how do such negative thoughts either hurt our enemy or benefit us? Even if we thought ‘It would be great if my rival were to suffer,’ this would never harm him or her. And even if he were harmed, how would that ever bring us happiness?

‘But if my enemy suffers, I will be satisfied’ Thoughts like this never bring us any happiness. On the contrary, nothing harms us more than indulging in such petty and vengeful thoughts, which do nothing but drag us down into the lower realms.”

I think comparing ourselves to others and making our own self out to be lower or somehow less, is a form of jealousy or something of that sort even if it doesn’t manifest as feeling like jealousy. Have you ever compared yourself to another? And then felt low about your own self? I think most of us probably have and so can relate to this. The person or people we compare ourselves to may be an enemy, a stranger, a supermodel on a magazine cover, imaginary people(like just the way we think people in general are), even close family members or friends. We may or may not feel resentment for those people and may or may not feel consciously jealous. But we are unhappy for our own self when we make comparisons and feel that someone else is somehow better or has something better.

This message conveyed by Geshe-la can apply to anyone who has thoughts that someone else is better, looks better, is more successful, more intelligent, happier, does more fun things, goes on more vacations or better vacations, or more productive things….and feels unhappy about it.

One way to counter this is to try to identify with those people we feel jealous of or lower than. Instead of envying them, resenting them, or feeling low about our own self, remember how it feels to be happy or successful, tap into that empathy, & be happy for those people. Almost all of us have probably been happy at one point or another even if briefly, all of us have accomplished something, even something seemingly small or not important, we know what it’s like to have good and bad things happen to us so let’s connect with those we envy, reach out in our basic humanness and be happy for them when they are in a good place in this life.

Practicing this more and more will help heal a jealous mind. Even if we aren’t generally prone to jealousy, most of us have probably experienced it at least once or at least experienced comparing ourselves to someone else and coming up short. And actually, I think many if not most, have this unpleasant experience more than once, probably off and on.

“S/he’s prettier than me, thinner than I am, more toned/muscular, more experience with something, has a better job, a more advanced education, an amazing relationship I don’t have, a bigger, more beautiful and expensive house or car, more friends, a family….”

I love how G.K Gyatso, states:

“…the fact that they are not his own is irrelevant.”

Imagine feeling so connected to others, even complete strangers, that we are just as happy for them as we would be for our own self if we had the good fortune they have. The fact that it is not our own is completely irrelevant; we are just as happy as if it were. How beautiful!

Another way to counter jealousy or heal a jealous mind, whether it’s a frequent jealous mind or just once in a while or even just once, is to focus on the goodness we, ourself, have right now. Any little thing that is good in our world, health, a place to live, a delicious cup of coffee, our senses, ability to walk, to move, friends, family, life itself…dwell on that without repressing any unpleasant emotions. Nothing wrong with admitting, even if just to our own self, that we wish something was different but we can still focus on what is good in this moment.

And one more thing, remember jealousy is absolutely pointless. Where does it get any of us? All it does is put unpleasant energy out into the uni-verse, interfere with our happiness, & possibly friendships & other relationships. Jealousy is a lousy attitude to be stuck in and even has the word “lousy” in it. For good reason! And a positive, loving mindset is more constructive and likely to contribute to our own good fortune than a jealous and/or vengeful mindset anyway. So anyone who doesn’t care about others will still benefit by being kind and rejoicing in the goodness of others.

This isn’t to negatively judge those who are jealous or those who wish bad things on others out of jealousy or do things just to look good and not out of true kindness; it’s merely to suggest that it’s better for our own self & those we encounter if we avoid jealousy and act with pure, genuine intentions, rejoicing in the good fortune of others.

And….in case you’re in the mood for a chuckle….

Not sure what this has to do with jealousy but here it is! (Unless you’re jealous of this face! I sure am! 🙃)

💖

Much love & light to you, always

Xoxo Kim

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Gratitude List

This is a gratitude list for a specific topic, outside/public things that are extremely helpful to me. Much of my job takes place outside so in the last year I have become especially aware of & thankful for these things. A year ago in December, I was offered a job as a petsitter, which I love and my boss said I do a great job! So thankful! Most of it is dogwalking, which takes place outdoors, of course. So here are a few things I find incredibly helpful:

Parks – especially ones that dogs are allowed in & especially when the parks have public doggy bag dispensers. They are beautiful places to walk through and are grassy so dogs like to go potty while there (I always clean up the, 💩 of course! I have all these cute little doggy bags & dispensers!) If ever I have breaks, I love to sit in parks and read and take in the beautiful surroundings.

Benches – It’s so good to have a place outside to sit during breaks or when I’m injured, just to get a rest. I sometimes suffer walking related injuries when I don’t wear appropriate walking shoes and a bench to take a rest is so very helpful!!

Trashcans – Probably the number one most helpful thing on my list. I’m frequently in need of trashcans! Mostly to throw used doggy bags away. Sometimes I have doggy bags full of cat litter when I’m petsitting a cat or hay/litter if I visit a bunny or guinea pig. We don’t throw trash/animal waste away in clients’ houses so must find a place to throw it outside. I don’t throw stuff in people’s trashcans outside so I’m very, very thankful for public ones such as the one in the pic above. Also, I’m frequently eating snacks and drinking iced tea or hot tea/coffee/cocoa/lattes…while out walking to my next visits and have to carry the trash with me when I can’t find a can. We need more trashcans!! There really needs to be a public trashcan on every street corner!!

Buttons on busses – I walk mostly but take public transportation often and sometimes the busses are so crowded there’s no available seats and it’s hard to pull the string, to let the driver know to stop the bus at the next stop, without hitting someone accidentally and it’s awkward reaching over strangers to pull the string and I’m shy so dont like to ask anyone to pull it for me. The buttons on the bars have the same function, to ring, and let the driver know to stop. I dont have to reach over or bang into anyone, pressing the buttons, so what a great invention!!

Traffic lights – It is unbelievably hard to cross streets with lots of traffic and no lights. The drivers in cars rarely stop to let those of us walking, cross. Once in a while, a kind person will care to stop and let us go but mostly they are extremely impatient and couldn’t care less how long we have to wait, even in heavy rain and freezing cold weather or with a dog or baby or anything, and probably wouldn’t even mind running someone over if they were able to get away with it. So traffic lights help so much! There needs to be more! I only cross with dogs where there’s lights or very little traffic. I have to keep my babies safe!❤

Street art – It’s so fun & inspiring to see all the beautiful messages/images while out & about!

Doggy bag dispensers – can never have enough doggy bags! So, so helpful to have them in parks.

Napkins/plastic spoons/forks – free ones in cafes/grocery stores….Like I said, Im often eating. Lol I dont carry eating utensils around with me so it’s helpful to have them when I buy stuff that requires a fork or spoon.

Free apps/notifications for transportation – occasionally I get popup messages on my phone letting me know how many minutes the next bus will be at the busstop I’m near. Very helpful!

Earth angels – So many beautiful souls out & about who stop to offer help to those in need or just to say hello!❤

These are all things that make my little corner of the world so much better!! I would love to invite everyone to think about the overlooked things each day that really are so very helpful. Acknowledging them and giving thanks, even if just in our head, makes this life even more beautiful! ❤

Thank you to everyone who has put thought, energy, & time into these things to help others! What beautiful acts of kindness!!💙

Can you think of anything frequently overlooked or seemingly simple but extremely helpful? There must be lots more!

And thank you to everyone who has been liking my posts & commenting! I greatly appreciate it! I havent been on wordpress for a while then recently just been posting my own and not reading any other blogs but will soon! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!❤

Much love to you!

Xoxo Kim

Snow Day!!!❄☃⛇⛄☕

“Kindness is like snow; it beautifies everything it covers.”

Recently we had a snow day here in Philadelphia! Then today we had a snowy morning! This is one of my babies playing in the snow! I just love him! He looovveess snow! He loves holidays and loud noises, talking decorations, and people & doggies! He’s a big teddy bear named Zero!❤

One of the most joyous things to witness in this life is a dog or a human child experiencing pure, raw joy, like right here! He is thrilled!

Here are some of my other snowday pics!⛄⛇☃❄⭐🌟👼🎀🌲🍭🎑🎁💟

Snow angel❤

This is a kind of coffee called holiday blend. It sounds very good and has molasses and cinnamon and sounds/looks better than it tasted! ☕

This is a pic I took for my mom because she loves angels.👼❤😇

This is a sweet ass car right here! The first thing I thought as soon as I first saw it is, goodness that CAR!

The thing must have cost a pretty penny and the vibrant red color is stunning. I’m not interested in cars and don’t even drive but I want this! Just because it’s totally impressive to have. 😂 There’s a little bit of shallow in me, oh well!😍

I hope you are having a lovely day or night wherever in the world you are!

Much love & light,

xoxo Kim ❤

With love, xoxo❤

If you clean the floor with love, you have given the world an invisible painting.” 💖

My job is to love, both as an action/verb & also just in the form of emotion. It’s my job in this life in general and also my paid job, loving animals and the people whose pets they are. There are things I have to do for practical purposes, filling the water bowl, food bowl, snapping their harnesses on, putting on coats & booties, putting down potty mats, cleaning up accidents in houses/apartments, cleaning litter boxes, picking up 💩 with doggy bags, giving medication/supplements….these are the practical things but I realize they are not only that. Just like playing, cuddles, kisses, pets & hugs, all these practical acts, the things that seem more like work and may at first appear to be just “means to an end,” just something that has to be done and over with so we can get to the more fun, pleasant things like playing and going for walks, they too are acts of love. They may not be as obviously loving acts as the hugs and kisses and playing but are part of loving an animal. To get to do these things is a gift.

My baby 💜

This little baby in the picture with me is a sweet girl who I generally take care of five days a week, sometimes more, while her mommies are at work. Sometimes I even get to have sleepovers with her! 😍 I have known her for almost a year and love her like my own! One day a while ago, my schedule was a little bit different and she was assigned to a different petsitter that day. As I was leaving, I realized how much I would really miss the seemingly little things, like filling her water bowl and setting it on the floor for her. Of course I would miss playing with her, the cuddles, & kisses, & walking with her. But not so obvious are the small practical things like simply filling her water bowl for her. It’s something we may take for granted if we aren’t careful.

My experience with not having her on my schedule that day, reminded me more, to always cherish the little things, the mundane, the practical. I always honor the love in these acts.

One of the best things about my job is that I get to experience loving animals the way their own humans love them. Like I mentioned, love, is a feeling but also a verb/action. We all love our pets in different ways. Some people love their dogs by spoiling them and giving them food that isn’t for animals, while others love their dogs by not allowing them “people food.” Some love their dogs by making them go for walks even if they don’t want to go out, because they think it’s good for them, while others give in & let the furbaby stay in. Some people express love for their dogs, putting a coat on them when it’s cold, buying them a doggy bed, lots of toys, while others love theirs just as much but not doing these things.

Some of these things aren’t important for me to do with my own dogs/cat. But if it’s important to the person whose pet I am taking care of, it becomes just as important to me to do for the pet even if I don’t do that for my own. I love getting to experience loving all of these babies everyday, both in my own way, and loving them how they are loved by their own family. I feel that it’s a great kindness to welcome me into their homes, families, & lives, to love their pets.

What a gift to have a job like this. I cherish the moments and honor the love in each one.

Whatever our job is, whether it’s a paid job, stay at home mom or dad, volunteer job….and not just jobs but with each moment in this life, let’s remember the love, be mindful, intentional, conscious…& honor that love in each breath.💖

Almost everything we do, no matter how simple or trivial it may seem, whether it’s required of us or not, is helping someone or something, somehow contributing to the world around us being even if just a little bit better. No matter how unimportant a job may seem or how unfulfilling it is to the one working, it is very likely helping something or someone and that is why it exists. Mopping floors, serving food, filing papers, answering phones….are all important in some way to those being served and/or the employers we work for. And even just doing something that helps no one but our own self, sipping coffee/tea, watching a sunset, coloring…be all there and cherish those moments. Let all that we do be done in love! (I think this is a biblical quote or something like it & it deeply resonates with me!) 😍

Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the small uncaring ways.

Much love & light to you, always! I hope you are having a beautiful day or night wherever in the world you are!

Xoxo Kim

Light of the love that I found…♡

“It could be someone walking down the street
A stranger on a bus
A little kid on his way to school or any one of us
We all got a little superman ready to take flight
And save a life ohh save a life
Take a look around and you’ll see ordinary angels”

 Much of my job takes place outside, in all kinds of weather, without exception. Today is a very rainy kind of day! ♡ 

I can’t believe how many people, both men & women, stop to offer me their umbrellas on days like today. They choose to be soaked and uncomfortable so I won’t have to be. I love to see people living up to our motto, City of brotherly love. That’s why I’m sharing this post, to promote & share acts of kindness. We all have the capacity to love and there are an infinite number of chances each day, to express love to others, friends, family, strangers, animals, insects….all sentient beings. ♡ Let’s take a chance at least once today, to reach out and love someone! 

“The world can make you feel so small
Steal your dreams and make you crawl
And break you till you got you got nothing at all
When you’re in that dark place and you need that embrace
You know love is never too far away”

Ordinary Angels – Craig Morgan

Much love & light,

Xoxo Kim 

No act of kindness is ever wasted ♡

I saw this outside of a bar this morning, while walking one of my babies. (An adorable pitbull!) ♡ When I read the first part, I automatically thought how sweet it is that a saying like that is chalked on the building of a bar! Then I quickly saw the last part and burst out laughing! Lol How funny!

Anyway, I very much agree with the first part! No matter how seemingly small or simple an act of kindness is and even if it’s not appreciated by the recipient of the kind act, it’s never wasted! It generates positive energy and is a beautiful way to live. Sometimes I see social media posts or hear people in person speak about how they are too kind and it’s not appreciated and how they have to stop being so caring. I hope people won’t stop being kind and caring no matter what. We need all the kind, caring people we can get! Why regret something we do out of love for others?! 

I love this funny, lighthearted, & inspiring quote I came across this morning!! 

I hope you are having a beautiful day or night wherever you are! ♡♡♡

Much love & light to you always,

Xoxo Kim 

Kindness♡

(Diane – July 14, 1956 – February 14, 2015)

“Treat everyone with kindness, even those who are rude to you – not because they are kind, but because you are.”

I wrote this about a week ago but never posted it so here it is!

Recently, I have had some difficult interactions with some people acting unreasonably and petty. I have been pissed for the last couple days and so distressed it triggered a severe flareup of my chronic pain disorder. Last night I laid awake in agony. It was one of my worst experiences. I felt like I was going insane. And it’s all my own doing. I let those people drive me to this point.
Today when I was out walking, I caught myself thinking of ways to unleash my anger in unpleasant ways. I wanted people to know what I think of them (it’s definitely not kind, loving thoughts!) and I realized that my usual kind, loving, patient self was pushed aside and very unpleasant, destructive emotions took the place of the love & patience I usually experience & display.

While I was standing there dwelling on my resentment for the people I had unpleasant encounters with and conjuring up unkind ways to let them know of my resentment, I thought of Diane. My close friend who always talked to and about me and bragged about me like I was her own daughter. She has three sons and grandchildren but no daughter of her own. Her love for me always seemed like a mother’s love. 

I used to have it planned to have a job working with people with “extra/special” needs. Diane knew that those kinds of jobs arent the easiest and not always pleasant. She worked at a hospital for a while. She told me one of her worst fears was that I would lose my patience, softness, warmth, kindness….if I had to encounter people who are not easy to deal with. She said she couldn’t bear to think of me changing. As I write this, my heart wells up with gratitude, love, warmth….someone who loved me so much, the real me, that she was terrified of me changing! To have a love like that is a blessing. Diane is no longer is this world and I still struggle so hard with my deep grief, even years later, but not once since losing her have I ever felt that I lost her love. I carry it with me always. Her love for me will survive as long as I do. And even longer since I have stories about her in my writing here. 

Diane wasn’t what people would probably describe as “warm” or “soft.” She was loud, assertive, sarcastic, outspoken. We knew when she was pissed, when she had a problem with us, when she was fed up, when she loved us; she did not hold back. On multiple occasions, she threatened to kick my ass. The very last word I heard her say before she was taken so suddenly, so unexpectedly, was “unfuckingbelievable.” She said this then slammed a window in my face. I still smile & laugh when I remember this. 

She cursed a lot and even yelled at people. But she was deeply compassionate, extremely generous, caring, loving…she cared for people with drug addiction, mental health problems, financial problems(which she struggled with herself). She always gave to others what she hardly had herself. She would go above & beyond to help people; even those who wouldn’t do the same for her.

 She never gossiped about others. If she had something to say, she said it right to our faces. She wasn’t always pleasant, though she often was. I did not always care for her sarcasm, especially when I first met her, many years ago. She did not have the patience I have. But I have always loved her (and still love her!) just how she was.

I love how she did not want me to be like her; she wanted me to be just how I am. Always. 

Since she died a couple years ago I have struggled to find ways to honor her life. I have a silver necklace with her name engraved, have performed acts of kindness in her memory, posted things about her…all which I find healing to some degree. But I have just kept having this inkling that there must be more. A more profound way to keep her memory, her love going. And I have longed for a deeper healing. 

Then as I was standing outside, contemplating a kind of revenge, giving into thoughts & emotions of anger, aggression, destruction….I thought of her and her worst fear. Her fear that I would let others drag me down to the point that I stop being kind, patient, loving, warm. And I made the decision right then and there that for her, I won’t give in. I won’t give into the temptation to seek revenge, to lash out, to say or do something unkind to someone for doing that to me. I would never become bitter & unkind completely but I can temporarily slip into those things.

There may be occasions in this life that I will be less patient, less kind, less warm, than I am, but I will let Diane’s love for me, wash over me and inspire me to let my love ultimately prevail. I choose to not let this difficult situation with these difficult people drag me so low that I act in destructive ways towards them or myself. 

What better way to honor Diane than to keep shining my own light, the light she was so afraid would be snuffed by difficult circumstances? I will keep shining, keep smiling, and keep trying to lift others along the way. ♡

 I would love to invite everyone to join me on my journey of love!

I hope you are having a beautiful day or night wherever in the world you are. ♡ Hugs to you. ♡

Much love & light, always,

Xoxo Kim