Tag Archive | life lessons

Reminder♡

Recently, one of my furbabies died. Not one of mine who I live with but one who I took care of while her furmama goes away on business trips. Her name is Pinky & she was a little Boston terrier mix and so adorable. Just like my baby, Boobie, Pinky is a mama of twins. She has twin boys and my sweet girl has boy/girl twins! ♡ Also, Pinky was thirteen years old when she died just like Boobie. I find this loss shattering just like when my own die. It’s one of the downfalls of having a job working with many animals. The more we come to know and love deeply, the more we lose. The one thing that brings me a great sense of consolation after this terrible loss is, I loved Pinky fully while she was alive. I still love her now but now it’s just a feeling in my mind as there’s nothing I can do for her. When she was alive, I acted on my feeling of love for her, spoiling her and doing as much as I could. To know this and remember it is a great source of comfort, helping to heal my grief. 

I always loved taking care of Pinky and her baby boys. The one dog doesn’t like to stay out long for walks so I take him out to go potty then bring him back and Pinky never wanted to come home! She always wanted to stay out and would run back to the door for a second, longer walk after bringing the little boy back. So I would almost always take her & the other little boy back for a longer walk even when it was late and I was ready to call it a day. 

I prefer when my workday ends earlier than late. It’s not that I prefer less work, I just like when it ends before it gets late. I don’t mind working into the night. It’s just my preference though to have my workday end earlier. But when the babies want me to stay, I stay, even when my work is done. So I would stay and take Pinky for her second, longer walk whenever I could.  Sometimes, I would even be thinking consciously, they aren’t going to live forever, we aren’t going to live forever. I want to make them as happy as I can while I can. 

And after each visit, I always would kiss them goodbye, sometimes more than once. I would sit on the sofa for extra cuddles with them no matter how late it got. 

The reason I share this isn’t to brag about how much good I did. It’s to share my own example of how loving more makes it so much easier to cope with a devastating loss. All I have is my grief and painful sense of loss, which is just a usual reaction to losing someone or something we love. I have no guilt or regrets surrounding it, no “if only’s…”. I share this hoping others will be reminded to cherish everything present right now. Go the distance to help others even if it puts us out a little bit, even if we’re ready to go home and sleep or rest, savor every moment we have with our pets, family, friends, and remember to stop and appreciate our job, house, stage of life we are currently in, even inanimate objects that may seem trivial. When we appreciate & love fully & give thanks right now, it’s easier when we have to say goodbye. It may not lessen our sense of grief or loss but will help so we don’t have an additional struggle of regretting and feeling as if we missed out or could have done better. The main reason I want to love more always, isn’t for me, so I don’t struggle with regret or guilt, but for them, for everyone else, to make the world a better place wherever I can. But it’s also good to not have to be sorry we did not love more. And that’s the aspect I’m focusing on in this post. 

The loss of Pinky is so, so incredibly heartbreaking to me just like when my own furbabies get old and die. It feels like something in my chest being ripped out, physically. Especially when I think about her harness. She would lift her little legs to get them in it when I would go over to her with it. It knocked the wind out of me when my boss told me. But it’s really her sweet mama’s loss(and her twin pups). My heart goes out to her furmama who loves and takes great care of them. And to her puppies who lost their furry mama. All three dogs were always very close. ♡ Pinky had a beautiful, happy life with her loving family. In every experience, I find life lessons to be learned and reminded of. No matter how painful an experience is, there is something we can find in it and use to bring a little bit more beauty to the world. 

So this is a reminder to us all to love more. ♡♡♡ Love as much as possible. 

I hope you are having a beautiful day or night wherever in the world you are. Much love & light to you. ~Hugs~ ♡♡♡ 

Xoxo Kim

Advertisements

The Light 

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”

Every experience, pleasant or unpleasant, is an opportunity to evolve. Let’s try to find the beauty in each moment, the life lesson/s, the Light, the opportunity, The Love…

I hope you are having a beautiful day or night wherever in the world you are! ❤ 😀 

xoxo Kim

Thou shalt not steal

img_20161110_140510-01-01.jpeg

Recently I heard Christian people on the radio talking about the Ten Commandments in Biblical Scripture. I’m not a Christian woman but find their conversation deeply inspiring. The men were saying the language (I forget which one but for this post it’s not very important anyway. I think it may be Hebrew?) directly translates into English as “Do not steal”  but often we hear\read “thou shalt not steal.” The men said this second phrase “thou shalt not steal” is much more powerful than “do not steal” and before they started explaining I was a bit confused. At first glance, at least to me, a command such as “Do not steal” seems more direct and assertive, even threatening, than “you should not steal.” Telling me not to do something can be an implicit threat or warning “Do not…or else..” where telling me I shouldn’t do something seems a bit more passive or laid back. It doesn’t seem like a command or demand. It’s more like just someone’s little opinion.

I’m not a big fan of telling others or myself what we should or should not do. I think “should” can be too limiting and contribute to feelings of failing or too much pressure. But soon I realized what these Christian men were talking about and it’s very powerful and can apply to us all, not just Christian and other religious people.

“Should” or “should not” is more like an internal thing while someone else’s commands, laws, rules, threats, abuse, opinion…..are external and cannot affect us if we do not let them. “Do not….because I said so” is authoritarian and someone else’s rule slapped onto us. It may or may not be a good rule but it’s external and we can rise above whereas “should” is something moral, internal. Of course someone else’s opinion of “should” is external and “should” is subjective but it’s more of an internal truth.

There are some things, in my opinion, we really should not do, like kill innocent beings, steal, spread vicious gossip, sexually assault….to name a few. That’s my truth and it’s more powerful than someone else telling me not to. It’s illegal for me to kill an innocent human but it runs deeper than the law telling me not to; I truly believe I should not kill an innocent person (or any innocent sentient being) and if I ever did I would have a bigger problem than being in legal trouble. I would have an internal struggle knowing I did something very wrong that resulted in the pain or ending of someone else. It’s not illegal to kill most insects at least where I live, and I don’t negatively judge those who do, but I do not kill them on purpose and when I do accidentally, I have a struggle within. And there are occasions people said things to me meant to have an effect I did not allow it to have. There are occasions I experienced domestic violence and was physically forced to do or not do something that wasn’t my choice but I did not let it destroy me and know it’s not a reflection of who I am and that this life is still beautiful with so many beautiful things and I kept my mind calm even though externally it was chaos. When I am abused the abuser is degrading itself, not me. Murderers, sexual predators, bullies, those engaging in vicious gossip only degrade themselves not those they hurt or try to hurt. We may be hurt, broken, devastated, traumatized, petrified, bleeding, bruised…..but we are not as destroyed as those who tried to destroy us. And we can stand up & rise again.

endure-abuse.png

(not my photo)

Abuse of any kind, vicious lies being told about us, others trying to control us, societal expectations…..these are all external and can affect us greatly if we allow it. But with work, practice, meditation, self exploration, self love, other positive things….we can rise above and others cannot touch us. Even if they do physically, it will not drag and keep us down or touch our essence. What matters is what we know, our own truth, knowing, attitude.

It’s what’s inside that is more powerful than the outside.

Much love & light to you always! Thank you to everyone who reads my content & those who comment! When I see a comment I always or almost always respond usually with a comment back or a “like” and if I seem to ignore it it’s very likely I did not see it. I appreciate every comment & everyone who reads! I have a whole lot of catching up to do! I got a new job recently and worked nineteen days in a row! But I love it! ❤😍😀

~Hugs~

xoxo Kim 

Insidious Chapter 3 {Love & Hope} <3

I watched this movie again tonight and am inspired all over again! As I wrote, I love the life lessons this movie conveys whether or not they were intended. I feel that it’s a movie about staying alive even when it hurts, even when it feels unbearable. Our home is here on Earth for now. And here on Earth is where we belong right now. Don’t give up! Also, the part where the psychic lady tells the girl who lost her mom to cancer, that she can stop looking for her mom, she is always with her, whispering in her ear when she’s confused or feels alone, is one of the best. Even if we don’t believe in ghosts, spirits, angels….those we love & lose remain with us in memory, in our hearts/minds. We don’t have to look anymore. They are here, within, always. ❤ ❤ Much love & light to you, always. ❤

A Dose of Inspiration

IMG_14165324_1image

“I choose to FIGHT BACK! I choose to RISE, not fall! I choose to LIVE, not die! And I know, I know that what’s within me is also WITHIN YOU.” (Mayor Pappas, “City Hall” movie quote)

Last night I saw the movie Insidious chapter 3. I love the Insidious movies! They are seriously the creepiest movies I ever saw! And I’m not a believer in ghosts but hell if they don’t creep me out!  

image

I absolutely love Insidious Chapter 3. It’s creepy, it’s dark, it’s distressing and thrilling. But that’s not why I love it so.

There are a few lessons to be learned, for some people. I don’t know if the writer/s intended to convey these subtle messages or I’m just really reading into the movie and seeing messages that are accidental. 

Please don’t read here any further if you intend to watch the movie and haven’t seen…

View original post 1,639 more words

Forget your perfect offering

SECOND BATCH 663 541(1)

“Ring the bells that still can ring. 
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything.
That’s how the light gets in.”
~ Leonard Cohen “Anthem”

Let’s not forget to ring those bells, the ones that still can ring. The bad in the world, the bitterness, the pain, the negativity, the shattered bells that no longer ring….that cannot take away the goodness that still exists, the beauty, the love, the togetherness, the light…<3

Not only does the darkness and pain not take away the goodness all around and within us, it can allow us to see an even brighter light if we allow it, a greater strength, deeper wisdom & empathy, a more profound love. ❤

Much love & light to you,

xoxo Kim 😀

A cup of coffee <3

1459535249026eSmart_15___fancy24

“You’re the blessings
Every time I try to count,
You’re the lessons
That l learn
Every time I turn around,
You’re the water when I’m burned
Every time I think I’ve found
Everything I’m looking for,
You’re the sign sayin’
Stop to take a bow”
~ Empty Hands/Nimo

In Buddhist class last night, our teacher encouraged us to think about and  meditate upon the kindness of others whether or not they intended to be kind. 

Sometimes people do things unintentionally that are very convenient to us, even if they were not trying to be helpful. For example, if someone points out a flaw not trying to help but to hurt, we can still be helped by the criticism, changing the flaw if it really is one and would be good to change. For that, we can be thankful for our “enemy” for aiding in our positive change. Instead of focusing on the anger or pain of what that person tried to do, we can focus on the gratitude. We can consciously transform an unpleasant situation into a life lesson.

If someone is very negative and rude, that person isn’t trying to be kind but we can seize the situation as an opportunity to practice compassion and strengthen our virtue of patience.

Atisha, an ancient Buddhist master, had an assistant who frequently acted in a very vicious manner against Atisha. He slandered him to others and talked negatively about him in an unnecessary way right to his face. Atisha spoke of love and compassion in front of many people, giving public speeches to help make the world better. This assistant of his was verbally abusive to him in front of everyone. Most of the people back then loved Atisha. And they began asking Atisha why he doesn’t replace his abusive assistant with a new one. There would be so many people ready to assist Atisha in a very loving way. But Atisha refused the offer. 

He called his assistant his best friend and explained how the man was helping him further develop and maintain his virtue of patience.

For this, Atisha was extremely thankful. He took this potentially infuriating situation and used it for good, to deepen his compassion and strengthen his patience.

Most of us probably have situations no matter how serious or very minor, that we can use to deepen and maintain our compassion and patience. Stuck in traffic, being cut off in traffic, people at work getting on our last nerve, friends or family testing our patience, experiencing an act of betrayal, being the target of slander, diagnosed with a serious physical illness, depression, anxiety, being gossiped about, receiving a rude comment online, being rejected, experiencing a painful breakup, “wasted” years in a terrible relationship – at least you have experience and know what you don’t ever want again! –  ….Everything can be practice. Everything and everyone can be our teacher if we allow it. 

Everyone else praised Atisha, lavished so much love onto him, he couldn’t really practice patience because it was never tested by them. This person who was difficult to deal with taught him so much love in a different way.

“How can I be patient if there’s no one to be patient with?”

Be thankful for those who push our buttons and test our patience.

“How can I give if there’s no one to give to?”

Be thankful for those who allow us to give and those experiences which provide opportunities for us to give. Give our stuff, our time, our energy, our love, our wisdom….

Our teacher talked with us about gratitude for the kindness of others and she gave an example of something as simple as a cup of coffee. How often do we think much about a cup of coffee we are drinking?  

Many of us, probably most, take for granted all the steps and processes it takes to get that cup onto our table or into our hands. It did not just appear. The kindness of others all lead up to that one cup of coffee getting into our hands. 

Someone had to gather the coffee beans, roast them, package it, put it on the shelves in the stores, create the packages to hold the coffee, someone had to make the cup, the table, someone is responsible for giving us life to have hands to hold,  a throat with the ability to swallow, a stomach to digest, and who knows what other steps had to be taken, processes we don’t even know about, just to make it so we eventually get to drink the coffee. To us, it seems so simple to open up the package and make the coffee or walk to a store and buy a cup of it. But so many people and things came together to make that happen.

And that goes for everything in this life. Everything we have even if we worked hard for it, is only possible because of the kindness o f others. Maybe we work hard to get money to buy clothes we love and feel independent for working so hard to buy expensive clothing but someone had to make those clothes, businesses have to be possible to sell them, our boss gave us our job and if we are self employed, still, we did not get here literally  alone. So many have helped along the way both intentionally and unintentionally.

We’re none of us completely independent or without something and someone to be grateful to. 

Also, our biological mom brought us into the world and either took great care of us, at least enough to keep us alive, or entrusted someone else to do that for her, for us.

So we have our mom to be thankful for, both our biological mom and our adoptive mom if we have one.  (and fathers too)

Also, we have doctors and nurses and others to thank for saving our lives if we were ever sick or seriously injured and needed medical attention. And the ones who helped us when our mom was pregnant and gave birth. 

When I was 21 years old, I got very sick and needed emergency kidney surgery. My kidney was obstructed, enlarged, and almost ruptured(a kidney stone damaged it temporarily and blocked my whole system on the one side) . There was a small chance it was going to have to be removed but the doctors were almost sure they got to it soon enough(luckily they were correct!). I was in severe pain and my whole body felt sick. I knew something was very wrong and my family took me to an emergency room. I thought if whatever was wrong wasn’t going to kill me, that the physical pain would. Back then it was the worst physical pain I ever felt. I really believed I was dying, not just because of the pain but I knew something was wrong internally. 
I had all kinds of things done to me in that hospital, Catscan, IV drips, blood drawn, surgery….

It took so much to diagnose my condition and fix it. The doctors and nurses and technicians and others all had to do so many things, clean instruments, scrub their hands, set up machines, communicate with each other, cancel scheduled surgeries to take me first since mine was an emergency (I heard the doctor on the phone canceling multiple vasectomy appointments just for me), put me under the anesthesia, so many, many other things to save my life….

It is their job but they chose those jobs because they want to help others. And of all the people I encountered those days, I did not encounter one rude person(many people cannot say the same when they have medical emergencies/situations), just one doctor who wasn’t the friendliest but he had to work long hours and encounter many patients acting in rude manners probably. It can’t always be easy being an emergency room doctor. 

For once I wasn’t depressed and all the work they did for me was/is so life affirming. It felt as if my life is valuable, something. Something worth saving. 

I still remember and cherish the kindness of all those who worked hard to save my kidney and me. The memories always warm me. 

Also, I am thankful for the doctors, nurses, technicians who helped me during the hospitalizations for suicidal depression/psychosis when I was young. Some of them were very loving and some very cold and rude. But I’m forever grateful for the experiences and they all helped me in various ways. Even today during my lovingkindness practice, remembering the coldness of some of the people I encountered during my hospital stays, helps me practice and strengthen compassion & patience. Even old experiences can help us today. 

Also construction workers who are often complained about blocking streets, using loud equipment…if it wasn’t for them, we wouldn’t have the roads paved like we do, things wouldn’t get built or fixed.

The next occasion we go to complain or see it as an inconvenience, let’s stop instead and give thanks. It may not be helping us directly or at all but they are making the world a better place as a whole. 

It’s amazing to think this way. I have always been naturally very grateful even before I realized the concept of gratitude. Since I was a little girl I have always felt thankful for everything and very blessed. I remember frequently feeling that I had the best life. 

But after consciously practicing appreciative living techniques and especially after I began taking Buddhist classes, I am even more frequently thankful and often in a deeper way.

Our recent class is a great reminder to contemplate all that others do for us whether or not they intend to be kind. Whether they are forced to do community service as a penalty for violating a law, actually meant to be vicious, accidentally do something great for us, or truly meant to be loving and kind, we can pay them gratitude even if just a feeling in our own heads. Our energy can have a ripple effect and can influence our actions and it’s just a great way to live, in gratitude for the kindness of others. 

It’s fascinating to think of all the kindness that exists in one cup of coffee!

I encourage you the next moment you are drinking coffee or tea or whatever you drink, to think of all the ways in which others made this possible for you. We probably cannot think of literally every way! There’s so many! But we can think of some.

10524714_680174508750294_3984395200003295972_n

(not my photo)  

Thank you to all the various kinds of doctors, nurses, technicians, police, construction workers, lawyers, janitors who clean buildings, store cashiers, restaurant workers, delivery people, secretaries, those who put out fires and save lives, mail workers, those who pick up trash and recycling, teachers, professors, veterinarians, volunteers, and all the others who make the world go round. 

Let’s pay them back with a friendly smile, a thank you or thank you note, a helping hand whenever we can,  any act of kindness, even just a feeling of gratitude or acknowledgment in our head. And let’s pay it forward putting as much of our own love as we can out into the world.  ❤

Here is a beautiful love song to the whole world:

“So I lift up my hands now
And I open my heart
And my gratitude goes out
To everything near and far”
~ Nimo

Grateful – a love song to the world – mobile

Grateful – desktop

😀

Much love & light to you!

xoxo Kim

Evolve.

20160325184826

“May their negative actions ripen upon me
And may all my virtues ripen upon them.”

A great (Buddhist) reminder to see the negative, bitter, unpleasant…actions of others and situations as an opportunity to learn, grow, strengthen our own wisdom and virtues, develop deeper compassion and patience. 

And to always react positively, compassionately, lovingly, patiently…and hope that it inspires others. 

Even if we don’t always act or react in a positive way, any occasion that we do is great. 

Any situation that is unpleasant can teach and remind us. Every moment we act in love even if it’s just holding our tongues instead of lashing out, is planting seeds so in the future we will be more patient and loving.

And we never know who we are inspiring with our love!

Instead of letting unpleasant circumstances drag us down, allow them to inspire us, teach us, remind us, help us build and strengthen our virtues while inspiring others. ❤

I hope you are having a beautiful day or night wherever in the world you are! It's a beautiful, cool, Spring night here in Philadelphia – USA! 😀

Much love & light to you, always,

xoxo Kim