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The House on Pine Street🏩 And raising our vibration❤

There is a movie I watched, horror/psychological/supernatural thriller. It’s on Amazon Prime so no cost if we subscribe to that. I would give it five or whatever is the most stars but I am very, very easy to please and love just about everything. I do not care about “bad acting” or “bad lighting.” And do not have an issue with very unoriginal plots. I love B-grade movies and traditional plots just as much as better quality, more creative movies . I did not notice any bad acting/lighting/writing in this movie or anything but I’m not always good at judging since Im so happy with like anything. Lol So if I give something the most stars, you may not want to take my word for it if you are only into very good quality movies. My boss says this is also true about me with people; he said there can be a terrible person and all I see is the good!

Some movies I do turn off right away because the quality is way too bad(like camera shaking when it’s not supposed to be, for example) or the movie is very boring(and im hard to bore lol) right off but mostly, Im easily satisfied.
It’s called “The House on Pine Street.” It’s like a ghost movie but the viewer may also wonder if it’s really ghosts or the woman is insane/psychotic. Maybe not very original but very good!!

There will not be any big spoilers here. But there will be a couple inspiring movie quotes. I wont give away the ending or any important details but if you want to see the movie first, click this off! And be sure to come back later!

The young woman is struggling with an unplanned and very unwanted pregnancy. We know this after reading the movie description. Her husband decides they should get away for a while and move to the place where she grew up, for a few months, and move back after the baby is born. She is very unhappy about this plan but she goes along with it. She does not get along well with her mom and her mom lives close to where they move and comes by for unexpected visits, which the young woman is unhappy about. She is unhappy about just about everything in her life, currently. She is especially extremely unhappy about the surprise baby.

She begins to suspect the house they move into is haunted. Strange things begin to occur and quickly escalates. No one else seems to notice and they think she is off her rocker, especially because she already recently had a mental health issue triggered by the unwelcome pregnancy.

Here are the quotes. They can apply to any life situation:

“Let’s say you go into a place that has a lot of energy hanging around it, your house say; if you go into a place like that and you’re going through something, stress, anger, a lot of sorrow, regret, anything, well all that energy you’re pouring out is going to bump up against the energy that’s already there; it’s going to rough it up, you see, mess with it and then that energy that was there is going to change; it’s going to react. Im not saying that’s exactly what’s happening in your house but I am saying that we often forget that we’re constantly affecting everything around us, people, environments, old houses in Kansas.”

“You moved into that house and you hated it. You hated this town; you hated your mother; you hated your husband for bringing you here; and most of all you hated that baby inside you and what it did to your perfect life. From all I can see, you’ve done nothing but hate. Are you really surprised that the house started to hate back?”

“Youre too blinded by your search to find something or someone else to blame, arent you? We’ll there are things much bigger than us, Jennifer, things that aren’t so easily categorized or controlled. You might have better luck if you stopped trying to push everything the way you wanted it to go and started looking at the source.”

If we go into something with an already lousy attitude, we will receive even more unpleasant things. Everywhere we look, everywhere we go, things will suck. People, situations, things…will seem to respond to us with even more negativity. We get what we put out. Everything does have energy, pleasant or unpleasant, and we can affect it or let it affect us or reciprocate. Like this character explains, the energy of wherever we are and our own energy can feed off of each other, perpetuate.

So let’s keep our energy positive & safe against whatever negative or life-draining energy is out there! Let our own energy be so powerfully positive that it touches the energy of everything & everyone else for the better!

Here are some things we can do to keep our energy positive. These are things I do myself and love!

Read something positive(quotes, books, short stories)
One of my favorite positive books is an old one called Pollyanna – Eleanor H. Porter about a little girl who is extremely positive even though her and her dad have not had the easiest life; then she suffers a terrible, life-changing, accident and her spirit is crushed. It’s a very uplifting, beautiful story, not tragic or dark. There is some tragedy and sadness involved but it’s ultimately a very happy story with a beautiful life lesson. It’s a life-changing story if we allow it to inspire us and take action to make our own life even more beautiful.

Keep social media newsfeed positive or look for the positive accounts.
My Instagram & Blog space/friends/followers are very positive but Facebook newsfeed and many friends on there(most are strangers/online friends) are very, very negative. They are vicious, vengeful, abusive. My newsfeed is full of political rants, arguments over religion & politics every single day without exception(there is not one day I open fb app & do not see angry/grim posts), people acting in a sanctimonious manner as if they are above the rest in morality, wisdom, intelligence, death wishes for Donald & his followers and others…I often receive a negative comment/message and expect to receive negative comments on there even on the most pleasant/non-controversial posts that I share or just in my inbox for seemingly no reason or a misunderstanding. I am never surprised to wake up and find an unpleasant comment/message waiting for me. I anticipate it.

When I see a notification about a comment/message, automatically I half expect it to be not very kind. Not because I have a negative attitude but because I see how it is everyday on my account. I do receive more positive messages than not but definitely receive a good amount of negative. And I just see it in general in my newsfeed directed at humanity or certain groups of people in general.
They even write negative comments on pictures of me(not everyone & not always but it does happen) or send me inbox messages with insults about my physical appearance/clothing style; I get called ugly, slutty, a bitch, rude, stupid, and whatever else. I receive messages telling me to get off their friends lists because they don’t like my views on things or even merely because I do share their views but still accept those who do not share our view, even something like universal love or positive thinking or not hating others.

I have received insults for not loathing Muslim people, for not wanting Muslim people dead, for voting for the Green party, for not loathing Donald and his followers’ guts(I would not vote for him and do not share most of his views but he is a sentient being and I love him as one – is he despicable in some ways or acts in a despicable way? Yes! But he’s also a sentient being and I do not wish him death, sickness, and other unnecessary misfortune, & because of this, I have been the target of insults, even death wishes[not threats, just wishes!]), for forgetting to vote(sometimes I forget – I work seven days a week, often morning til night & sometimes overnight), for being pro-life in general(not killing insects, animals, the unborn…but i dont negatively judge those who are not pro-life, have/pay for abortions, kill insects…i love everyone!!) Many people only comment when they disagree with me and do not like something. Some have never written one positive or agreeable or even neutral thing to me but they jump in an instant to let me know when they are very unhappy with me. I have people as facebook friends who have been my friend on there for years and have never written me one positive thing in all those years, only negative. Some of them it gets to the point where I block(if I merely unfriend the account, the people often still write to me lol so I block it) their account because they go way overboard with their comments( for example, one person not very long ago who only ever wrote negative things began writing homophobic things on my content) but usually, I do not unfriend/block them.

Also, there are men writing sexual things they want to do with me. Eww sometimes that makes my skin crawl!

Someone explained to me that when men write/say that stuff to me, they aren’t just saying/implying that I’m pretty like aesthetically; they are being pervs. I already had an idea of this but when they say stuff like that, I automatically see the implied compliment that I am beautiful/pretty. My brain often automatically “skips” much of the sexual message or more fully perceives the aesthetic in it. Sometimes I am flattered and sometimes grossed out. Lol

You’ll have to find a woman(or whatever gender) who is into hooking up with men because I’m sure as heck not! I don’t swing that way, never have. But it’s ok; we can still be friends!😊

In the words of M.C. Hammer…

U Can’t Touch This -MC

Sorry bruh, you can’t touch this.😂😭🤣😹

I keep my account public and let anyone comment, even non-friends, on there and I accept almost anyone as a facebook friend and this is the way I plan on keeping it. People come out of nowhere & like/comment on/share my posts even if we are not friends on there n have no friends in common. I do not post anything political, just because it’s not very much my thing, not because i dont want people to know my views. I do not post very controversial content. Most of my content is funny (not offensive funny, just funny funny) and loving. But still, they find something to dislike about it. And when someone asks me my political/religious views, I tell the truth. And they do not always like it. I do like some political posts and occasionally comment on some. I keep the fb account open to the public in case anyone is uplifted/inspired by the content I share. This is at the risk of encountering some very negative attention but worth it.

I usually do not respond to the toxic comments and if I do, it’s always in a pleasant or at least non-vicious way. I have responded negatively before on occasion but now made a choice to rise above that. The comments usually do not get to me, just irk me if anything, but even if they do provoke me to be angry/disturbed, I won’t respond negatively anymore. I do not want to put that kind of energy out into the uni-verse and also, trolls want that and it will just encourage more of their unfortunate behavior. They want negative attention. It will not insult them; they are hoping for it so they can keep negative dialogue going. Best just to let it go.

I do not read much of the things on my newsfeed because of the vitriol. I only post positive things, that can usually apply to anyone, and I know some accounts/groups/pages/people who are only or almost always positive and I look for their accounts. So I would suggest to either only have mostly people who post positive content as friends, skip the negative if we do have some who post negativity, or stay off social media/certain social media accounts, if that is appealing. Either way, block out that negativity or just roll with it.
I do not see/check all of my notifications but the ones I see are usually positive; it’s just there is too much negative thrown in.

Focus on the good no matter how unpleasant things are currently – the sunlight, whatever good things we still do have, a house, enough money even if it’s not a lot, food, pets, friends, family, our health, certain skills…whatever good is around and within! Anything that goes right today, no matter how seemingly simple or trivial, celebrate it, savor it, give thanks. Recently, I spilled hot chocolate and thought it was on my new, pretty pink coat but when I checked, it wasn’t! I stopped for a minute to feel the gratitude(I did spill a latte on it later though and then iced tea – I’m a klutz) One day, i had to use a lock that is difficult. It may or may not work on any given occasion and that day, it worked. I acknowledged it and let it uplift me. I really experienced gratitude to a depth that may be considered disproportionate for the situation. I was just so, so thankful this simple thing happened to go right. And it can be so frustrating having to play with a lock for so long before it locks or opens. Sometimes a lock not working has even infuriated me. I have to deal with locks frequently for work. It is beyond a hassle when they don’t work properly.
And when difficult ones go right, it calls for celebration.

We can take little things like this for granted and go about our day just forgetting or stop for two seconds and consciously experience the gratitude. This life is made up of little gifts in each moment. Let us acknowledge them! It brings more love, beauty, & joy into each day.

Create a positive play list of happy/cheerful/uplifting/funny songs/music. If we are a hearing person. I know some people are deaf and do not listen to music. I’m not excluding anyone; this is just for us who can hear.

These are just some of my many favorite happy/pumped up songs!

Happiest Girl in the Whole U.S.A

This song seriously helped me cope with a severe suicidal depressive episode once. The worst one I was ever hit with. I usually feel that I am the happiest girl in the world. Lol I have a natural positive disposition but I have also experienced depression. Depression is nothing to do with our personality or natural inclination for happiness. Some people are just naturally not happy people but not depressed. And the most naturally happy person can struggle with severe depression. I have always been super happy with a positive attitude. Even when I am depressed, so depressed, I cannot tell where the depression ends and I begin, I can feel my natural positive self underneath. This song reminded me during that suicidal depressive episode, that I once felt like I was the happiest girl in the whole usa and if I felt that way before, I can again. Also the tune is so uplifting and the lyrics are cute. She is singing about how happy her man makes her. Lol I dont have, have never had, and have never wanted a man to be happy about in a romantic way but am just happy in general.

Baby’s Got Her Blue Jeans On

This is another song that helped me cope with a very bad depressive episode. It’s a cheery, funny, uplifting song about a pretty girl in blue jeans who everyone stops and stares at because she’s so lovely. People run to their windows to get a look as she’s walking by, they nearly break their necks looking when they see her outside, and her beauty is even responsible for traffic jams! I love pretty girls in blue jeans too! 😍

I’m Too Sexy

I’m so sexy, it hurts. 😂🤣

It’s a Great Day to Be Alive

Eye of the Tiger

This song has helped me cope with physical pain. Like depression, I have experienced episodes of severe physical pain. It’s a facial pain disorder. It’s usually not bad but can be devastating at some points. This is a song about surviving.
So inspiring!

King of Wishful Thinking

(this is a sad breakup song but his attitude and the music is uplifting)

Get outta my Dreams, Get into my car

Caribbean Queen

“She’s simply awesome…She dashed by me in painted on jeans
And all heads turned ’cause she was the dream”

“I lose my cool when she steps in the room
And I get so excited just from her perfume
Electric eyes that you can’t ignore
And passion burns you like never before”

Well if this song doesn’t get you absolutely pumped, what will?

Private Eyes

They’re watching you, girl! (Lol ok so that seems kind of creepy🤣)

Every step you take, every move you make, I’ll be watching you, baby! Oh, no wait…that’s a different song🤣😭

Man Eater

She’s a strong, powerful woman, so watch out boy….she’ll chew you up. And spit you out like old gum she no longer has any use for. Don’t mess with the tigress. She’s out of your league.

“The beauty is there but a beast is in the heart.”💜

I wouldn’t if I were you.

She’s deadly, man.🖤

I wouldn’t even think about it.

You’re a Movie

“Another day, another victory.”

This is a song about confidence and taking on the world! It’s also kind of funny! The man is full of himself! Lolz

Standing on a corner – Dean Martin

Baby Makes Her Blue Jeans Talk – Dr. Hook

Another song about a beautiful babe in blue jeans! And there’s a pretty girl in this video! Very uplifting
(Can you tell I like my girls in blue jeans? 😍😊Lol I think I prefer a hottie in leggins though – even sexier -Especially if she’s wearing stilettos.)

Girl Watcher – O’Kaysions

When you’re in Love with a Beautiful Woman – dr. Hook (extended version)

If you’re looking for some eye candy, check out this video!! I would definitely have more diversity here though if I were making a video like this. Every single woman in this video is beyond beautiful but I would also add some non-white women and also ones who are not thin along with all the ones here. And different ages. Young, thin, long hair, and white is not the only beautiful! That is beautiful too, for sure, just not the only kind. Also, I love this extended version. And before any feminists flip out on me(lol jk)I know there are more important things than physical beauty; that’s just one thing I love. I just can’t help it; pretty girls are my weakness!

Bad Mama Jama

“She’s built, she’s stacked”

Oh yes she is!

“All the curves that men like…
Got all the curves men like”

She got all the curves that I like too!

“I get so excited
Viewing her anatomy”

So do I, bro!

Another fun, uplifting, catchy song!

In case you can’t tell, I have a thing for pretty girls. When I was a young girl and used to go to my dad’s work office, I used to sneak the playboy magazines they had hidden in there. I knew where they kept the stash and used to carry off with them and steal away into the closet flipping through them. I just loved looking at all those pretty girls.😍 (still do)

I’m not shallow or objectifying. I know there is much more to a woman than her physical beauty but nothing wrong with also acknowledging it! Women(Including trans women and trans people with physical feminine features)are the most beautiful creatures on the face of this Earth.

Me!❤

Beast of Burden – Bette Midler

I LOVE this version by Bette Midler! The tone, singing, and all is more passionate, in my opinion, than the original. I also love the general feminist stance it seems to convey, whether or not it’s intentional. It’s about the unfortunate situation of men using women for their own pleasure, not caring about what the woman wants, thinks, feels. She sings about her little sister being a pretty, pretty girl who men use then throw away and her sister asks what’s the matter with her and wonders if maybe she is not good enough in some way. “Little sister” doesn’t just have to be her actual sister but can be symbolic of any woman or women/girls in general. The tone is so uplifting and the video is hilarious and inspiring! I love it!! Even though this song seems to have romantic or sexual overtones, I see it in a platonic way & I can relate to it but in a platonic way. Maybe most of us can. Haven’t you ever had a friend use you or only come around when the person wants something and doesn’t seem to value the friendship itself? I love how this song conveys the pain of that but with a passionate, pumped up tone. I am not being heterosexist. It’s just that this song/video seems to be about men using women. I know not all romantic relationships involve a man and a woman. There can me two men/two women/other genders…Not everyone is either male or female. Some are non-binary, agender, bigender, trigender, I think pangender, genderfluid, genderqueer…I acknowledge and support all. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

And I love Bette’s sense of humor! I have always loved her! I never met or talked to her but she is one of my favorite people. I have always felt some sense of connection to her. I will admit, many years ago, my opinion of her was lowered once after seeing her in an interview where she was asked her opinion on same-sex marriage. I do not remember exactly what she said but remember the gist of it and her careless attitude on the subject. Something like same-sex marriage should be legal because “it’s not hurting anyone” and her tone was kind of just like “meh, who cares either way but why the hell not…it’s not hurting anyone” I felt a crushing sensation in my chest. The way she acted as if it’s just a luxury heteros can just happen to afford to extend to those “less fortunate” or “second class,” as if it’s not a basic right and as if equality is not crucial. My first thought, automatically upon hearing her view was “Well, fuck you Bette Midler!” And I looked at the comment section on the video and the first one I saw was “Well fuck you Bette Midler!” Lol I was satisfied that my literal, exact sentiment was voiced out loud (or at least written) by someone else.
But anyway, I still love Bette and she is very sexy with a sexy attitude!

Breathe out deeply – Breathe in deeply and slowly through the nose and breathe out even more slowly and deeply. The chest should not move, just the abdomen(this is the healthiest, most relaxing way to breathe). I love the feeling of breathing out and it works wonders for relaxing the body even if we’re not anxious or anything; it just has a soothing, cathartic effect. And is very pleasurable.

We can imagine breathing in bright, white light that sparkles and is everything good and imagine breathing out dark smoke and breathing out words like “tension,” “stress,” “pain,” “fear…..” or we can imagine breathing out love into the world.

Listen to/meditate to Weightless – 8 minute long version – or Official 10 hour long version considered to be the most calming song in the world.

It’s scientifically tested and works well. May be better to listen at night as it may provoke drowsiness.

Neuroscience Says Listening to This Song Reduces Anxiety by Up to 65 Percent

Do simple, uplifting things – paint nails in pretty, uplifting colors (if we are into nail polish), wear pretty/inspiring jewelry, clothes that we love for any reason…just catching a glimpse of something pretty, inspiring, lovely, even just a nail polish color…can be so uplifting. Sometimes I wear pj’s outside all day and notice it’s much more uplifting when I wear regular clothes out. Someone else may wear pj’s and not have this experience but the point is wear whatever clothes bring out the positive feelings. I like wearing tight clothes, leggins, short shirts, even in Winter and wear inspiring jewelry like with a lotus flower, om symbol, Buddha….

Go for a stroll in the sunshine or whatever weather is uplifting to us. I love walking in the rain! It’s like I don’t have a care in the world when I’m walking in a light, rainy mist. Like nothing can touch me.

Just me!💜

Watch a fun comedy movie – I love horror movies and watch them frequently. They are my guilty pleasure. I fall asleep watching them. Recently I even had a nightmare about one and I do not have nightmares!! Or any bad dreams! Almost never.
I love horror movies but if I watch a lot of them very close together for a while, I sometimes begin to sense them wearing on my energy, draining it, affecting it in a less than positive way. They are fun & thrilling, sometimes thought-provoking. They keep us guessing and are exciting. But they are negative. Killings, fear, horror, attacks, violence, jumpiness…not very good for the mind. I do notice myself a bit jumpy if I watch them a lot. Some drs have reccommended people with depression/anxiety not watch them ever even if not currently depressed or anxious and some have suggested no one watch them ever. It makes sense. They’re grusome, dark, negative…but they are just too fun and thrilling for those of us who love them! I do not watch true criminal movies. Only fiction. I dont like real violence or criminal acts and don’t get off on the real suffering of others.
Thankfully, I also love sappy, cheesy comedies! These are uplifting, cute, inspiring, funny…and good to throw them into the mix so as not to be weighted down by the horror. How about watching a sweet rom com or bestfriend movie! It seems like a kind of irony that this whole post is based on a horror movie and Im suggesting we lay off the horror. Lol Horror movies can be quite inspiring as well. They are often based on or involve a will to survive. But balance is good.
Some movies I love are What Happens in Vegas, Dumb & Dumber, For a Good Time, Call, Employee of the Month, Miss Congeniality, Jinxed…I just go to the comedy section on movie apps and see what I can find! I love kiddie/family movies!

Color – I have coloring books and something called Zentangle(a form of drawing for any ages/ability levels). It’s very calming & fun and simple. No skills needed! I don’t always color a lot but sometimes in the mood for it.

Compliment others, even strangers, sincerely. I’m sometimes too shy to do this but when I do get up the courage, it brightens someone else’s day! This puts positive energy out into the uni-verse.

Random acts of kindness or any act of kindness. Smile at strangers, make eye contact, buy food for a homeless person, give someone working a tip, give bread to squirrels/pigeons/sparrows, put cards with uplifting quotes around for random people to find…

Save a life or three❤💚

Red Cross

Meditate – My favorite meditation music: Prayer to Kuan Yin (Kuan Yin is goddess of mercy)

Some other favorites:

Miraculii Invoking Prayer & Meditation with binaural beats

Kuan Yin Rosary of Mercy

Primitive Emancipation

And whatever else brings feelings of joy, love, inspiration, calmness! You can add your own! Let’s just remember to keep that energy positive. Vibrate higher and let our loving energy be what permeates the environment around us and dominates. Even if our schedule is very busy, we can try to take even just a few minutes to do something positive or uplifting, even just five minutes of conscious breathing.

Much love to you wherever in the world you are! I wish you peace, love, & light.

Xoxo Kim❤

Gratitude List

This is a gratitude list for a specific topic, outside/public things that are extremely helpful to me. Much of my job takes place outside so in the last year I have become especially aware of & thankful for these things. A year ago in December, I was offered a job as a petsitter, which I love and my boss said I do a great job! So thankful! Most of it is dogwalking, which takes place outdoors, of course. So here are a few things I find incredibly helpful:

Parks – especially ones that dogs are allowed in & especially when the parks have public doggy bag dispensers. They are beautiful places to walk through and are grassy so dogs like to go potty while there (I always clean up the, 💩 of course! I have all these cute little doggy bags & dispensers!) If ever I have breaks, I love to sit in parks and read and take in the beautiful surroundings.

Benches – It’s so good to have a place outside to sit during breaks or when I’m injured, just to get a rest. I sometimes suffer walking related injuries when I don’t wear appropriate walking shoes and a bench to take a rest is so very helpful!!

Trashcans – Probably the number one most helpful thing on my list. I’m frequently in need of trashcans! Mostly to throw used doggy bags away. Sometimes I have doggy bags full of cat litter when I’m petsitting a cat or hay/litter if I visit a bunny or guinea pig. We don’t throw trash/animal waste away in clients’ houses so must find a place to throw it outside. I don’t throw stuff in people’s trashcans outside so I’m very, very thankful for public ones such as the one in the pic above. Also, I’m frequently eating snacks and drinking iced tea or hot tea/coffee/cocoa/lattes…while out walking to my next visits and have to carry the trash with me when I can’t find a can. We need more trashcans!! There really needs to be a public trashcan on every street corner!!

Buttons on busses – I walk mostly but take public transportation often and sometimes the busses are so crowded there’s no available seats and it’s hard to pull the string, to let the driver know to stop the bus at the next stop, without hitting someone accidentally and it’s awkward reaching over strangers to pull the string and I’m shy so dont like to ask anyone to pull it for me. The buttons on the bars have the same function, to ring, and let the driver know to stop. I dont have to reach over or bang into anyone, pressing the buttons, so what a great invention!!

Traffic lights – It is unbelievably hard to cross streets with lots of traffic and no lights. The drivers in cars rarely stop to let those of us walking, cross. Once in a while, a kind person will care to stop and let us go but mostly they are extremely impatient and couldn’t care less how long we have to wait, even in heavy rain and freezing cold weather or with a dog or baby or anything, and probably wouldn’t even mind running someone over if they were able to get away with it. So traffic lights help so much! There needs to be more! I only cross with dogs where there’s lights or very little traffic. I have to keep my babies safe!❤

Street art – It’s so fun & inspiring to see all the beautiful messages/images while out & about!

Doggy bag dispensers – can never have enough doggy bags! So, so helpful to have them in parks.

Napkins/plastic spoons/forks – free ones in cafes/grocery stores….Like I said, Im often eating. Lol I dont carry eating utensils around with me so it’s helpful to have them when I buy stuff that requires a fork or spoon.

Free apps/notifications for transportation – occasionally I get popup messages on my phone letting me know how many minutes the next bus will be at the busstop I’m near. Very helpful!

Earth angels – So many beautiful souls out & about who stop to offer help to those in need or just to say hello!❤

These are all things that make my little corner of the world so much better!! I would love to invite everyone to think about the overlooked things each day that really are so very helpful. Acknowledging them and giving thanks, even if just in our head, makes this life even more beautiful! ❤

Thank you to everyone who has put thought, energy, & time into these things to help others! What beautiful acts of kindness!!💙

Can you think of anything frequently overlooked or seemingly simple but extremely helpful? There must be lots more!

And thank you to everyone who has been liking my posts & commenting! I greatly appreciate it! I havent been on wordpress for a while then recently just been posting my own and not reading any other blogs but will soon! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!❤

Much love to you!

Xoxo Kim

Summer Love♡

Summer is my least favorite season. Excessive heat tends to get me more than any other extreme weather. Also, Summer themes (beach, vacations, bbqs, pools…) just don’t appeal to me as much as Fall & Winter themes (holidays, pumpkins, snow, hot chocolate…). For work, i have to be outside for much of the day, everyday, which can contribute to it being easier to see the unpleasant side of Summer. So I decided to focus on the goodness of Summer and list all the things I love about it!

Here goes!

1.) Waiting for a bus is much easier (in my opinion) when it’s very hot than very cold. It’s hard to be still in bitter cold weather.

2.) It’s often more pleasant to sit in a park on a hot Summer day than a freezing cold Winter day. As I said above, it’s hard to be still when it’s extremely cold. Also, I love the sounds of the birds and people and dogs in the park all around me.

3.) All the beautiful people and animals out & about on a warm Summer day. I love being surrounded by all the living things.

4.) The insects, birds…. I love all the butterflies and fireflies and other beautiful creatures all around.

5.) Walking by cafes and restaurants with outside tables and seeing all the people happy & laughing together.

6.) Flowers & plants & trees with green leaves!

7.) The feel of walking into an air conditioned building after being out in the heat.

8.) The feel of stepping out of a freezing cold air conditioned building into a lovely summer day. The heat feels so welcoming then.

9.) Tropical scents

10.) Gentle summer breezes

11.) Crickets churring at night

12.) Suntans! I love getting a natural tan walking in the sunlight!

13.) Carnivals!

14.) Cold showers

15.) It eventually ends & gives way to Fall! 

 

So here are a few of my favorite things about Summer!!

It’s always great to focus on the bright side. And there’s always a bright side! If not, create one! Think of something you don’t care for or something that just isn’t your favorite then list the good things that still exist about it or the positive things as a result of it. This strengthens our mind to develop or maintain a positive attitude. It’s also so uplifting to list the good.

I hope you are having a beautiful day or night wherever in the world you are! 

Much love & light,

Xoxo Kim


Life hacks 😀

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(this is me lol I couldn’t seem to find any specific picture good for this post n I’m getting ready to leave for work soon so here I am!) 😀😍 [This post is a few days old n I never posted it yet.]

lol These aren’t really life hacks but just random friendly reminders/tips. I have been wanting to post these to help/”save” anyone I can! 😀❤😍

Sometimes I find myself in awkward or sucky situations that could have been prevented if only I was prepared. 

So here goes!

1.) Keep tissues & doggy doo doo bags (if you walk dogs!) in every pocket on your clothes/bag! Even pockets you never or rarely use. Just do as I say. lol You won’t regret it one bit. So what if your pockets look all stuffed! It’s way better than your snots & boogers everywhere! And in cold weather the nose gets all sore. Vaporub works wonders! My nose runs frequently all year long whether or not I have a cold. I don’t know why but it totally sucks. It was like this since I was a little girl. I must have a chronic allergy or something. I’m actually experiencing annoyance bordering on anger as I write this. It’s one of the very rare things I don’t like about myself. I can’t stand it. When I was little I would be in class with my nose pouring and too shy to ask for a tissue. I would sniff and sniff and hurt my sinuses. Or have to resort to using my shirt sleeve to brush the snots away which is totally disgusting. And not the snots on my clothes that’s disgusting but the feel of that material on my skin. 

I couldn’t concentrate on my work and even when I got home I would be so pissed thinking about it.

Now I occasionally still find myself without a tissue and my nose running and still too shy to ask for a tissue. Once I took a tissue I found on the ground and used it. My sister was nauseated at the idea. Oh well. So  I do my best to remember to stuff every single pocket on my clothes and handbags everywhere. So many occasions I saved myself finding a tissue in a pocket I forgot exists! Thank you me!!

And doggy bags. Ever walk a dog who takes a doo doo; especially in front of someone and you realize you have no bag or anything to pick it up with?! Awkward!!

There have been occasions I took an already used bag someone else threw away to use for my furkin I’m walking. Eww right?! But wouldn’t you prefer that I use a used bag than it ending up on your shoe or left on your pavement in front of your house?! lol

So doggy bags & tissues. Stuff them everywhere! Absolutely everywhere! Can never have enough!

2.) Save work you are writing like every two seconds. It’s worth it! If you ever wrote something long and brilliant then lost it all in an instant you know it’s worth it to save every few seconds! Unexpected things occur!

3.) Copy your work so if the app or icon or whatever, suddenly closes without warning and all your stuff is gone, you can just hit the “paste” option. I have this problem sometimes with Instagram and WordPress where it just closes and drafts did not save. But now I’m genius enough to usually copy it just in case! Go me!! 😉 Also, send it to yourself in an e-mail to have it backed up.

4.) Keep change aside just for homeless people or others in need. Ever come across a person who needs change and you have nothing at all to give? It sucks! 😦 I always feel so sorry. <\3 Maybe you don’t like to help the homeless. Some say it “enables” their “helplessness” or some shit like that. Whatever. But not everyone in need is homeless. I have come across frantic young mothers with very young children screaming their heads off, who forgot or lost their wallet or just did not have the money. Who doesn’t want to help a struggling young mom?! And not just money but there’s other stuff someone may need that we can keep available just in case we come across anyone in need. Lighters & matches. People frequently ask me for these. I have never smoked anything as long as I been alive and so almost never have matches or lighters. And I really wish I could help when they ask. I haven’t yet but thought about buying some just for when they ask. I get asked enough. And for cigarettes too. But I don’t quite have the money to support someone’s addiction\habit to that extent. Tokens. Anything we think someone somewhere may need we can keep aside! If not though; that’s ok! It’s just a sweet idea!

5.) Write important stuff like phone numbers, addresses, reminders…you need for the day, down on paper and not just on an electronic thing like a phone because if the battery drains or it falls and breaks you may be shit out of luck! This saved me already!

6.) Make sure your water bottle cap or soda bottle cap is screwed on properly before it goes in your bag with your phone/Kindle/other electronics. Lol I’m starting to sound like a mom! But recently I discovered the hard way that my water bottle cap wasn’t on correctly. Everything in my shoulderbag, including my Kindle, drenched! 

7.) Don’t walk for two hours straight especially in cheap shoes. Last month I walked for one hour and fifty five minutes non stop, not one rest just constant walking, in thin canvas shoes and the shoes fell apart and I was in severe pain for a few weeks. I got myself better but for a while thought I did permanent damage to myself. I abused my body which I will not do again. Rest when your body sends signs that it needs it. Wear appropriate clothing/shoes for the activity youre engaging in. Messed up joints, bones, muscles, tendons, and other body parts is no joke!! Our body is a beautiful gift and in my opinion it is to be treated with reverence, not abused in any way for any reason. I did not realize the abuse I did to myself til it was done. 

8.) If you come across an aggressive dog, do NOT look the dog in the eyes or smile with your teeth showing. Keep your hands to your sides with your palms not facing the dog. Stay still. Don’t even look at the dog. If the dog is aggressive because of fear it’s good to get onto the ground or floor to show the little furkin that you are on his/her level and not a threat. If the dog is just aggressive and vicious do NOT get on the floor (the little mofo will lunge at your face lol) if you’re standing up. Just stay that way until the dog walks away or someone comes to rescue you. Don’t turn your back to the animal. If youre already on the floor protect your face Get into a fetal position and be still. I’m no dog expert but I learned some things (Some the hard way lol). If you can, get something to block yourself so if the dog lunges the teeth sink into the object and not your flesh. If the teeth get your flesh, don’t pull away! Ouch! It just makes the injury worse. Stay calm or at least pretend to be. It makes everything better! 😀

9.) If pop ups spring up on your screen and have no X or won’t click off, minimize the thing youre using and then bring it up again and the popup may be gone. All of a sudden some weeks ago a million and one popups just come on my phone screen each day and some have no cancel option and some do but it doesn’t work. All along I had to just click off the apps/websites and lose whatever I was doing. But then I decided to minimize it and see what occurs and find that the ad just goes away! I hope it helps you too! What’s with all these popups each day now? I’m more thankful than annoyed now though because they help me practice patience and strengthen that virtue even more. I’m very patient but still have room to evolve!

10.) And last but not least, in distressing situations, take a few deep breaths and ask yourself, What would Buddha do? Buddha is a symbol of love & patience. He can inspire us all; not just Buddhist people. He would never lash out or get overly stressed. Of course we are mere mortals and not nearly as advanced as someone who becomes enlightened and so cannot always do exactly what Buddha would do (staying completely calm in hectic or horrific situations, for example) but we can look to him for inspiration. 

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I hope these help! ~Hugs & love~ to you. 😀❤😍

xoxo Kim

Summer???! <3 {Summer Luvin’}

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So, I heard today is the first day of Summer? I thought Summer always begins on the 21st of June!

Oh, well! Lol 😉

Here’s to the beginning of Summer!

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Summer is my least favorite season. I just don’t have a thing for heatwaves, 90 degree weather, heat headaches, air conditioners and stuff and while I love the beach(though I’m no beach bum!), I love snow, cool nights, and crisp Fall leaves more!

Anyway, I’m not here to focus on what is better or what I’m wishing for! I’m here to celebrate Summer, which is also beautiful and brings joy and a thrill that no other season can! To me, each season brings a joy to me that the other three do not. It’s like impossible though to explain in words, the difference. 

Here are some things I love about Summer:

1.) Tropical scents like Hawaiian ginger, mango, citrus flavors….

2.) the greenery all around 

3.) the countless beautiful insects 

4.) being able to sit outside without freezing my balls off! 

5.) the scent of bbq’s all around 

6.) ice cream and iced coffee (all year but they are more like Summer things!)

7.) the chirring of crickets at night

8.) the glow of fireflies 

9.) endless blue skies!

10.) the fragrance of Summer heat outside 

And there’s many more things too! But these for now! 

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Recent sunset. One of the last Spring sunsets this year! ❤ 😀

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me today. ❤

Recently I met a few Earth angels! I met this girl recently whenever I would go to buy iced coffee and she is super sweet and friendly and I got the strong feeling she likes me (in a platonic way), she seemed to have a soft spot for me beyond the usual friendliness shown to customers in general. She even gave my mom a senior discount even though she isn't a senior, just to be generous! 

Then one day she told me she been wanting to tell me she knows me somehow but can't remember how but she remembers me being the sweetest girl! Aww! ❤

Finally we realized we went to middle school together for a while and used to sit together on the school bus when we were little.

She said she felt awkward asking me but decided to get up the courage. I'm so happy she took the chance. When she told me her name, I instantly remembered her and recognized her face even though we're all grown up now.

She's a sweet girl also and so friendly. 

This inspires me even more to reach out to people when I experience the desire. Sometimes we may feel too shy, awkward, hesitant….for whatever reason but what's the worst that can happen? We can be rejected, maybe a little bit embarrassed, that's it! It's worth it though because it can make someone's day or be the beginning of a new or rekindled friendship or other relationship! 

Let's take the plunge! 

And today, I encountered another Earth angel!

I was in the mental health clinic I go to for treatment for depression and I heard a girl talking and recognized her voice and when I turned around I saw who she is as she was turning away.

Then when I walked outside she was in her car and gave me a ride home! She's a girl I know but don't always see very often. We did not know that each other has problems or goes to the clinic. It is a pleasant surprise seeing her and getting a ride home.

She's one of those extremely outgoing, bubbly, kind people, also very generous. 

She has an adorable little girl who she said was recently asking about me! How sweet! ❤

At first I said no thanks to the ride because I did not want her to go out of her way.

But she insisted and said "you're not walking home in this heat!"

It was very helpful because it is over 90's today and it's over a half hour long walk. I love to walk but not in this weather! No thanks! Lol

I hope you are having a beautiful day/night wherever you are! 

And don't forget to be someone's Earth angel today! ❤ 😀

xoxo Kim

Random inspiration

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This would have been a prettier picture if my earphone cord wasn’t in the way!

Here are some recent photos I took and some inspiring quotes!

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“Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.” ~ William Morris

This is a great idea! One I really need to put into practice! My room has all kinds of useless and not all beautiful stuff. 

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This is me on a bus Tuesday. The reason I took this pic is the floors on the busses are wonderfully sparkly!

So lovely!

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“A beautiful woman delights the eye; a wise woman, the understanding; a pure one, the soul.”

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“I know who I am. I am not perfect. I’m not the most beautiful woman in the world. But I’m one of them. ” ~Mary J. Blige

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“Smiling is definitely one of the best beauty remedies. If you have a good sense of humor and a good approach to life, that’s beautiful.”

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“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.”

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A lot of these are the same pic but with different effects. I took them on Tuesday. 😀

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“Beauty is when you can appreciate yourself. When you love yourself, that’s when you’re most beautiful.”

I disagree. While I agree that self love and self confidence are beautiful and inspiring, I think loving others is even more beautiful. I disagree that we can’t love others until we first love our own selves. Someone else and me are two separate someones, I can love one of us and not the other. There are lots of people with low self esteem who love others deeply. Both self love and love for others are great and I have a good amount of both! ❤ 

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“Love is like a beautiful flower which I may not touch, but whose fragrance makes the garden a place of delight just the same.”

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This is my baby, Woody! I love his adorable freckles that appear in the Spring! ❤

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 “My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her.”

Aww! ❤ I have one of the best mamas too! A beautiful mom is a blessing to the world! 

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My fur goddess, Isis Summerjo! ❤

"The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence."

In my opinion, the most beautiful thing we can wear is compassion!  

😀

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Adorable baby snail! ❤ 😀
s/he was just born and already eats (carrots & cucumbers) and walks all around! ❤ 😀 Cutest thing ever! They are clear/translucent when they are newborns.

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This is not a book I have; it’s just an advertisement that came up on my Kindle’s home screen. It’s an interesting title, like a reverse of the old cliche “Time heals all wounds.”

This is another book I haven’t read but I like the cover and name. 

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And another! 

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I hope you are having a beautiful day or night!

❤ 😀

Much love,

xoxo Kim

Sunshine Award

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Thank you so, so much, Sonali, at Howling With the Wolf:

https://howlingwiththewolf.wordpress.com/

for nominating me for this lovely award! I’m so honored and happy to receive it! Please go check out her wonderful blog! She’s an amazing person and writer! I’m so happy our paths crossed here on WordPress!! ❤ ❤

Here are the questions and my answers. 

1. If you could pick one line from your About Me page(or whatever you renamed it to) to describe you, which line would you pick?

"I believe in Metta or Universal Love, ONE love. Loving and wishing the very best for every living, sentient being everywhere. This includes those who are not so easily lovable.

I’m extremely easily amused! I laugh at the dumbest and most inappropriate things. It’s fun but gets me into trouble now and again! I even laugh when I’m alone and at things that happened years ago. It’s very easy to entertain me. Lol I love being around lots of people but I also take pleasure in my own company."


This is two lines/paragraphs isn't it? Oh, well! They describe me well! ❤

2. Which is your favourite post from your own blog and why? (It could be because of the memories attached or the frame of mind you wrote it in, a comment you received)

https://inspirationalgem.wordpress.com/2013/11/29/love-humanness-oneness/

This for sure is one of my favorites! It's beautiful and awe-inspiring. Lol No, I'm not giving myself a big pat on the back or bragging! It's awe-inspiring because of the excerpts I share out of Dr. Buscaglia's book Personhood! The man is amazing!  

3. Is there anyone who knows enough about you to give you advice that you would actually take?

I would take the advice of someone if it seems wise to me even if the person doesn't know me well. I'm very open so I think people know me well usually. Even some of my online friends give me suggestions sometimes for what to read or youtube videos…they think I would love. I always appreciate it when people pay attention to my personality enough to know what I would probably love or not like. Some of my friends both online and in person friends have let me known when people tagged me in violent, racist, homophobic…stuff on facebook because they know I don’t like it. I don’t always see my notifications and my profile is public and i have thousands of friends and I occasionally get tagged in and added to groups with content that I disagree with. It’s great to have people know me well! ❤

4. Has your blog changed your life? In what way?

Yes! I love the connections I have with people here and I think even more positively after posting so much positive stuff. And even more than I used to, I question what each experience is teaching me and how I can potentially share it to help others. 

5. Do you have any siblings?

I have one sister. She's over ten years younger than me.

6. Are you more comfortable with friends on your blog or in real life? (Yes, I borrowed this question)

Both! I love having both online and in person friends. 

7. What is your favourite TV show or movie?

I don't watch TV, except sometimes if someone else is already watching it. I love movies even though I don't watch them a whole lot. One movie I love is "What Happens in Vegas" because it's hilarious and the memory of first seeing it. I laughed so much watching it in the theatre, for a few minutes I thought I was literally going insane, I could not stop laughing so hysterically. The fact that I just got out of a psychiatric hospital back then did not help my concern that I was going insane! Lol a good belly laugh is just what we need when we are just released out of a nuthouse. It's a fun memory! ;-D ❤

8. If you were stranded on an island, what three things would you like to have with you?

A camera for sure! There would be so many things to take pictures of! My hairbrush! Lol My hair gets so tangled easily! Books or a Kindle(with books already on it since I'm nearly certain there would be no wifi)! 

9. If you had an unlimited amount of money to spend, what would you do with it?

I would definitely help as many people as I can, both organizations that help others and individual people who need help.

I always thought it would be amazing to be a multi- billionaire simply to have the opportunity to run up to random people on the streets and say "Here have a billion dollars!" while handing them like a briefcase full of cash then running off. Lol Amazing!

Imagine the confusion and looks on their faces.   

Also, I would give money to help animals. I would also pay off all the debt I'm in! Lol And of course, I would go on a few shopping sprees! 😀

Which two clothes would you choose from your closet to define your personality?

One would be the socks I have. They are all colored or have patterns that are fun, silly, playful…I'm very playful and love colors and designs that stand out or are just not plain. I almost never wear black or white sox. They have to be vibrant, colorful, pretty…

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Also, a white hoodie I have that says "love" because I'm very loving and try to live each day full of love. 

11. If you could go back to the past and meet one person, who would you meet?

I would love to meet the Buddha!

“RULES:

Thank the person who nominated you in the blog post (basically say something nice about him/her..we all like to hear good things about us right?
Answer the 11 questions set by the person who nominated you.
Nominate 11 blogs to receive the award and write them 11 new questions to answer.”

Here are my questions for you to answer:

1.)What is one song you know of that you find has a great message? 

2.)What is one of the most inspiring quotes that you know?

3.)
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(not my photo)

Would you? Lol

4.) What is one cliche or quote you do not agree with or think is plain stupid? For example: “Blood is thicker than water” & “You can’t love
anyone until you love yourself…” To me, both are baloney.

5.) What is one thing you love about yourself? 

6.) What is one personality trait you love to see in others?

7.) If you were able to have any healing power what would you choose? 

8.) If you had to choose a vacation in a warm, tropical place or a cold, Wintery place, which would you choose? 

9.) What do you think is a more important virtue, justice or mercy? 

10.) Do you feel more drawn to live in a big city full of traffic and buildings and noise and lots of people or a quiet countryside with mostly just the chiring of crickets in the night and the surrounding stillness?

11.) If a tree falls in the middle of a forrest and hits the ground but there’s no one to hear the loud crash, does it still make a sound? (philosophy was my major in college, I have to ask!) Lol 

I’m nominating some beautiful blogs which haven’t already been nominated in this case for this award.

http://elizawaters.com/

https://pathsofthespirit.wordpress.com/

https://herladypinkrose.wordpress.com/

http://laliterati.com/

https://justaladywithablog.wordpress.com/

https://worldstrata.wordpress.com/

http://lifebeyondmommy.com/

https://bhharned.wordpress.com/

https://autismthoughts.wordpress.com/

https://alienblob.com/

https://fargaregardsanna.wordpress.com/

https://lipstickdreamsblog.wordpress.com/

https://meloheartsite.wordpress.com/

Please go check out these lovelies including Howling with the Wolf!! You’ll love them as much as I do! 

There’s many more blogs I love just as much but the list has to end somewhere! Lol 

Even if you don’t participate in awards I still love you and your blog!
And if you want, you can still answer the questions or some or one, even if you don’t want to participate in the award. You can answer here in the comment section if you want! I would still love to see your answers! 

Also, I still have a few sweet comments to catch up on here! Thank you so much! I will respond soon! If I ever don’t respond to a comment, it’s either because I did not see it or will respond soon but haven’t got around to it yet(unless it’s a rude comment or sarcastic or something then I may not respond at all even if I see it! Lol). I never ignore well intentioned comments, I will always acknowledge them most likely with a comment in response or if not then a “like.”

Much love & light to you today & always!

😀

xoxo Kim ❤

My gratitude List!! <3

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I have been slacking with my gratitude lists! Not in my head, I’m always thinking of how thankful I am, but it’s great to write out lists, which I do for a while then stop. Then begin again. On & on..

So here are a few things I’m thankful for today!

1.) The little girl who was outside my house when I was coming home, with her mamma, she’s only like a year old or a little bit older and she was so happy because five of my dogs were in the window looking out! Lol The sweet baby girl can’t really talk much but she was smiling and pointing to show her mom. It was the cutest!  

2.) my coworker – I saw her today when I was out shopping. I did not see her at first but she saw me and said hello. It always brightens my day to see her! ❤

3.) the weather! It's like Winter again! It was just like Spring yesterday! I told you yesterday about March and its mood swings! Lol 😉

4.) the ghost stories I have on my Kindle! And so many more I can't wait to buy! 😀

5.) today 

6.) my dogs! I have a dog, Prince Oscar, who cannot or will not walk up or down steps. We have to carry him. We don't know why. He was like that when we got him. He mostly stays downstairs. But sometimes he wants to come up to my room and get in bed. One night a while ago he wanted water so I took him in the bathroom and let him drink out of a plastic cup I got at the shore in the summer. My other dog, Emmy, saw him getting water that night then Emmy started begging for water upstairs when he can walk downstairs to get it! Spoiled boy! He wakes me in the middle of the night to give him a cup of water when there's a large bowl downstairs. Now my other dog, Woody, started doing the same, begging for water upstairs all night instead of just going down to get it. Lol It's annoyingly cute! 
Or adorably annoying! Lol 

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This is them drinking out of their lemonade cup!
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And here is sweet Prince Oscar. 

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He’s a shih tzu. ❤

7.) the color red and my ability to see it. ❤

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8.) Buddhist Malas

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9.) all of my readers/followers here & on facebook. ❤

10.) meeee ❤

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And so much more! What are you thankful for right now? You can let me know or just think about it or maybe create your own list and post it? Don’t forget to include your own beautiful self! 😀

Much love & light to you now & forever. ❤

xoxo Kim

25 fun facts about me

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25 fun (at least I hope?) facts about me!

I’m feeling a bit vain today. Lol 😀

I will try to mostly list facts I haven’t mentioned here much before.

1.) I always want to hug people who are crying, hurt, or sick. Even fictional characters in books & movies. I have no maternal impulses but I’m very nurturing. I’m not a sympathetic crier. Seeing someone cry won’t make me want to cry but I will want to take the person in my arms and provide as much comfort as I can.

2.) I like loud people who talk & curse a lot. ❤ lol I always have. I’m quiet and gentle and it’s a sweet contrast.

3.) When I was a little girl I always wanted big boobs. Lol I used to do exercises a girl in class with me said can make them bigger. I was jealous when other girls already had boobs. In high school, my first year, I met a couple girls and was having lunch with them and they were talking about boobs and the one girl said “poor Kim, she only has A cups” and the other girl said “yeah that’s too bad.” They weren’t being bratty, they truly felt sorry for me. Lol Then in 12th grade I was sitting in the front of class and I heard a girl in the back say to another “Kim must have gotten breast implants ” and the other girl said “I know! She used to have no boobs now she got the biggest knockers in class!”

Lmao! Guess my wish came true!

4.) I love sour gummi worms! MmmMmm

5.) I was always naturally very thin since I was a little girl, especially as a teenager and younger. No matter how much I consume, I stay thin. This is how my dad is too. I wasn’t underweight or malnourished but it was possible to see my ribs and hipbones.

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But when I turned 25 years old, I put on a lot more weight. I only took size 3-5 pants but soon after turning 25 years old I took size 12.
I was very disappointed. I did not like having to buy new clothes because I put on weight
and physically, I felt very different. I was so used to being/feeling thin and it felt so different. I couldn’t feel my hipbones as much when I put my hand to my hips. It felt very strange.
I have mostly always loved my beautiful body (except sometimes when I was 16 years old & depressed). I never struggled with true body images issues. Just as a secondary thing because of my struggle with depression, when I was a young girl.

One night as I was sulking about the weight, I stood in front of a mirror and was amazed at how beautiful I still found myself.
I realized even more how deep and unconditional my love for my body is.
I still did not like it being disproportionate and not fitting into my old clothes but I still felt nothing but love for it. Not only did I still love it for what it does for me, keeps me alive and let’s me experience but I still found it physically beautiful. I love this experience because it confirmed for me even more that my love is unconditional.
After about a year I went back to being thin but I did nothing to contribute to that intentionally. I still consumed whatever I wanted and all, did no special exercises for weight loss, but after a year, I lost all the weight and fit in my old clothes. And I never put on weight like that again.

Here are some pics of me when I put on the weight.

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As you can probably tell, I was still very confident.

And here is me now/recently:

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(told you I’m feeling the vanity today but it’s ok because you love me, right?! ;-D)

I am beautiful now and was back then as well(makeup is absolutely TERRIBLE though). Now when I look at those old pics of me 5 years ago, I see myself as stunning. I had some dangerous curves! lol I love those curves and that ass. Lol ;-D

We are beautiful no matter our size. Thin girl bashing is just as bad and can be just as damaging as overweight girl bashing.

Real women have curves? Please….
A real woman is a person with the gender identity of a woman. Nothing to do with size or physique.

Also the “girl with no curves is like jeans with no pockets, a man won’t know where to put his hands…” thing is really dumb. If a man doesn’t know where to put his hands on my body, he’s the one with the problem, not me.

Curves have to do with physique anyway, not size. We can be thin with curves and not thin with no curves. I still have curves.

6.) I’m not romantically/sexually attracted to women(or men, actually lol) but I think women are more pleasing to look at than men. Lol ❤

Whatever your gender, gender identity, sexual orientation…

Tell me this

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(you’re welcome! lol)
(not my picture)

Isn’t more appealing than this!

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(you’re welcome! ;-D )
(not my pic!)

Lol

But they’re both incredible looking!

And this!

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(not my pic!)

I love this photo! My dad watches the Sopranos on HBO like every night. That man on the right is a murderer (in the mafia) and the girl on the left is his psychiatrist, Dr. Melfi. They’re both really good looking. He is truly sexy. But I prefer to look at her. She’s even sexier. She’s beautiful. (inside & out) Drop-dead gorgeous.

I wouldn’t mind having depression if I got to stare at and listen to her for 50 minutes each week! Lol ;-D I love their accent, especially how she says words with an “R” in it like “cheers,” “horror,” “for”….it’s adorable!

Her name is Dr. Melfi in the TV show but many refer to her online as Dr. Milfi because she’s sexy as hell. Lol (Milf) She’s so compassionate and soothing. I love her. ❤

You can listen to/watch them talk in this brief therapy scene:

mobile:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OrPIO53cWMY

desktop:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&persist_app=1&v=OrPIO53cWMY

“Even the handsomest men do not have the same momentary effect on the world as a truly beautiful woman does.”

Our professor in college for a clinical psychology class, a clinical psychologist herself, brought in a couple episodes of this tv show for us to watch. This man, Tony, has depression and panic attacks. He’s big and strong and very powerful but still struggles with mental illness and he is embarrassed about it. Our professor wanted to show us that anyone can have a mental illness and it’s not something to be embarrassed about. I found it comforting back then because I was embarrassed about my condition.

7.) I’m single and don’t have a problem with it. I don’t need a romantic relationship to be happy. I always say if I soon find a man who falls head over heels in love with me a nd I fall head over heels in love with him, that’s amazing! But if not, that’s amazing too! I’m not into casual dating at all like when I was in college. I have to see potential for something more or its not happening! Lol 😉 (p.s Im actually not into dating at all or romantic relationships and never have been but especially not dates where there’s no substance or connection – if i was going to go on a date though, there would have to be potential for some connection even if just for that one date – and in college, I only rarely went on “dates” and just for the social aspect – I was lonely and had no true friends so would sometimes agree to a “date” or exchanging phone numbers hoping we would end up as platonic friends or he would introduce me to people n get new friends that way but i stopped doing that since our intentions were different – people ask me a lot about my intentions for dating/marriage so i included this)

8.) In high school one day I was cutting class with another girl and we got caught by a police officer who was a few steps in front of us. He very seriously and gloomily called us over and I remember thinking oh shit and my friend started walking over to him but I was getting ready to run. I looked in back of me to see if I had a chance and was going to take her arm and drag her with me and he said “don’t even think about it!” They must be really great at sensing or reading stuff like that! :-O
So I gave in and very reluctantly walked over to him with my friend. He said “You girls cutting school?” and we both looked down and shook our heads yes. He opened the door to his police car and said alright I’m taking you in. Then he burst out laughing and said just kidding get the hell outta here before someone else catches you!

We laughed and ran away completely relieved! I still smile when I remember that!

9.) When I was a little girl I broke into a factory with my friend, that was being remodeled and we stole some tools and walked around the neighborhood selling them for one dollar for each tool! We told everyone that our dads gave us their old tools. We even sold some to my dad and said they were her dad’s and sold some to her dad saying they were my dad’s old tools.

We later felt so guilty! Especially lying to our dads like that. But all the candy and chips and juicies we bought with the money really cheered us up!

10.) I’m embarrassed by my middle name and always have been. I used to tell people I don’t have one. My sister has the same one as me. I thought it would be cute for us to have the same one. She’s over ten years younger. But I just about die whenever someone asks me what it is.

11.) I am 5 feet and 5 inches tall and used to wish I was taller. I love when I wear six inch heels and feel so taller than everyone else!

12.) For as long as I can remember, I never had “current” interests in like music, singers, clothes….once I’m loving or into something, it usually stays that way. My favorite songs now are the same ones that were when I was little with more added. My tastes stay the same. And I like it that way.

13.) When I was in middle school, I saw a recipe to make peanut butter cups and wrote it down and made them all by myself! I was so proud! I am not one to bake or cook and have no real skills for anything so it was so pleasing to do that all by myself! They were delicious and I ate them all by myself too. 😀

14.) Weekdays have my heart more than weekends. Much more. Just the feel of a week/work day. It’s like magic. ❤

15.) I don’t need coffee. And I don’t drink it everyday. I go days without it.

16.) I love cranberry juice. Yum!

17.) I am extremely patient and am frequently told at work how wonderfully patient I am with people. Aww ❤ I just love people.

18.) It’s sweet to live in a place where we are blessed with the diversity of all four lovely seasons. I love all four. My favorite is Winter & my least favorite is Summer. 😀 I love talking/writing/reading about the weather. To me, it’s inspiring, not merely a “safe” or boring topic just to discuss to have something to say. The seasons deeply inspire me.

19.) the only social media accounts I have are this, Facebook, listography, and photobucket. My sister set up all kinds of other ones for me like Twitter, tumblr..
Whatever else but I can’t get into that.

20.) I have mostly always loved being me. At every age I have ever been. Every stage of life. Even with depression, I couldn’t want to be anyone else.

21.) Thinking much about my ancestry isn’t something I do other than the fact that it’s amazing how ancient people all came together to lead to me. Think about how if one little thing was different, if one person hooked up with someone else instead of another, you, me…wouldn’t be here! What are the chances?! So slim! We could have been someone else! I almost want to cry it’s so beautiful & rare just to be us!!! But I don’t think of myself as anything other than American. I grew up here, my culture contributes so much to what I am, not my ancestry as much. People ask me if I’m Irish because of my last name (my last name is but I am not) but I’m not, I’m just American. If I grew up in Ireland I would be but I grew up right here, never set foot in Ireland.

22.) I don’t take it hard when people lie to me. I’m not that special that if you lie to me it’s the most Earth shattering thing. So many people say they “hate” liars and take being lied to very personally but not me. It’s nothing personal. If they’re lying to you or to me, they very likely lie to others. It’s not like I never told a lie before. And not like I won’t tell a lie again. I’m generally very truthful and open and don’t lie for thrills but come on, who seriously doesn’t ever lie? Are you telling me in all of your days you never do anything and never have done anything but tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? Come on man, get real.

23.) When I was a teenager one year(actually it was a couple years but I did not hang out with them as much after the first year we met), I had a group of friends who were into alcohol and other drugs and sometimes we would all hang out together in some of their houses with no adults around. Sometimes they tried to give me alcohol or other drugs but I always resisted and was never tempted. Now when I think of it, it’s really amazing how a teenager had that kind of steely resolve to never once collapse into that peer pressure, especially a lonely depressed, suicidal teenager who longed for the love of deep friendship. I knew it’s not for me and did not give in to something just because others wanted me to. I’m not even bragging(i’m actually embarrassed to admit I never experimented with alcohol/cigarettes/other drugs) . Lol I’m just kind of in awe.

24.) In college, I took psychology & philosophy. I took psychology for practical purposes and philosophy just for sheer interest. I always wanted a job helping people and heard that things like social work and psychology are good to take for jobs helping others. So I chose psychology. People always said I would have to be a doctor and that there’s no other jobs for psych. Students if we don’t get a medical degree or phd. I was not very informed back then and just agreed and said “ok I’ll get one of those degrees!” lol without even knowing exactly what they are. I later realized that’s not for me and there’s various jobs we can have with an education in psychology. I never did anything with the degree. I work at a store. Lol

25.) I was never the stereotypical psych. Student. I did not ever try to “diagnose” everyone I encounter or myself. I never felt like I have every disease we learned about in psych. Classes and I am nowhere close to being qualified to diagnose people. I don’t feel that I can get in people’s heads and I really do not want to. I don’t over analyze real life situations or people. I save that for when I’m reading fiction. Lol Sometimes things really are just what they seem and don’t need interpretation or analysis. People often assume when I tell them I went to school for psych. That I can or am trying to get in their heads. The comments I get by strangers when I tell them are a turn off! Lol I don’t like telling people that I took psychology too much. It doesn’t mean I’m super intelligent or can get in your head!

😀

So hopefully you find these facts interesting? If not, oh well, it was still fun writing them!

😀

~Hugs~ ❤

Much0 love,

xoxo Kim

5 Things that inspire me this week

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1.) My coworker brought her son to work. He’s four years old and the most adorable little boy! He came over to me and said “Kim, you’re the best!” then he walked over to his mom and said “Mommy, you’re the best! You’re the best mommy someone can have!” My heart just melted! That’s the cutest thing! And how beautiful it is to appreciate those who surround us and feel as if we are surrounded by the best! He’s only four years old and already taps into this wisdom of gratitude & appreciation! 

2.) This:

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3.) Years ago I saw a horror fiction movie called “The Eye” which I recently watched again, and a very sick little girl in a hospital says to the young woman about to receive an eye transplant to see again after being blinded in an accident as a young child:

“I know you’re scared. Don’t be. ‘Cause the world really is beautiful.”

I also feel an even deeper appreciation for my sense to see and the other incredible ways in which my body functions in perfect synchronization, watching the movie again. It’s something we often overlook and take for granted. If you are a seeing person just open your beautiful eyes and look! Look at all the beautiful colors, textures, views around you! Imagine having that taken away in an instant. Of course it’s not the worst thing. Blind people can be very happy and just as functioning for the most part, as a seeing person. And often their other senses are even stronger than ours or they are more in tune with them. I don’t feel sorry for them and there are probably blind people who would never want to see because they love how they are. I know there are deaf people who say they love their culture and would never want to hear. It’s probably different for people who have been deaf or blind since infancy than for a person who it happens to later. It has to be traumatic to go blind or deaf as an adult or older child. Because of my facial dysfunction I go deaf occasionally, sometimes partially and on extremely rare occasions profoundly/completely. When I was a young woman and girl it scared me silly. I would go into a serious panic. One day in college, I went completely deaf, got lost, and couldn’t ask for help because I couldn’t hear. It was so scary. Now it’s still not pleasant but it’s not frightening either. I also have problems with my vision because of the same dysfunction. I don’t go blind but my vision gets so blurry sometimes I cannot see anything but a haze of white or swirl of colors. It’s not a progressive thing, it comes and goes.

But there are definitely people with disabilities who wouldn’t have it any other way and that’s beautiful. 

But our senses are a gift. There’s no denying it. A true blessing. And it’s so great to stop all the clatter in the mind and give thanks to our senses for all they do for us. 

Also I love the ultimate message of the movie that we don’t need eyes or a sense of vision to see true beauty and see what is truly important in this life. It’s like that saying something like the best things in life can’t be seen or heard but must be felt or felt with the heart or something like that! How true!

4.) the cold barrenness of Winter.

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This sky is really more of a dull blue and I also find that inspiring. Bright blue skies are my favorite to look at usually. But I put an effect on this to make it look more dreary to better portray the feel of Winter. I also love gray, dreay skies.

5.) Watching this seagull flying through the sky. It’s awe inspiring. 

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I watched him/her soaring through the sky along with a few other ones. Then when this one came very close, I took the pic! I put a bold effect on this picture to make the blue of the sky pop. The sky was very blue that day but in my picture it turned out not as bright so I put the effect on. It looks so pretty!

The world is full of so much beauty in various forms! So full of wonder. I look around each day in awe of the splendor surrounding us.

What inspires you in the last week? I would love to know! 😀

❤ Much love,

xoxo Kim