Tag Archive | me

25 fun facts about me

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25 fun (at least I hope?) facts about me!

I’m feeling a bit vain today. Lol 😀

I will try to mostly list facts I haven’t mentioned here much before.

1.) I always want to hug people who are crying, hurt, or sick. Even fictional characters in books & movies. I have no maternal impulses but I’m very nurturing. I’m not a sympathetic crier. Seeing someone cry won’t make me want to cry but I will want to take the person in my arms and provide as much comfort as I can.

2.) I like loud people who talk & curse a lot. ❤ lol I always have. I’m quiet and gentle and it’s a sweet contrast.

3.) When I was a little girl I always wanted big boobs. Lol I used to do exercises a girl in class with me said can make them bigger. I was jealous when other girls already had boobs. In high school, my first year, I met a couple girls and was having lunch with them and they were talking about boobs and the one girl said “poor Kim, she only has A cups” and the other girl said “yeah that’s too bad.” They weren’t being bratty, they truly felt sorry for me. Lol Then in 12th grade I was sitting in the front of class and I heard a girl in the back say to another “Kim must have gotten breast implants ” and the other girl said “I know! She used to have no boobs now she got the biggest knockers in class!”

Lmao! Guess my wish came true!

4.) I love sour gummi worms! MmmMmm

5.) I was always naturally very thin since I was a little girl, especially as a teenager and younger. No matter how much I consume, I stay thin. This is how my dad is too. I wasn’t underweight or malnourished but it was possible to see my ribs and hipbones.

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But when I turned 25 years old, I put on a lot more weight. I only took size 3-5 pants but soon after turning 25 years old I took size 12.
I was very disappointed. I did not like having to buy new clothes because I put on weight
and physically, I felt very different. I was so used to being/feeling thin and it felt so different. I couldn’t feel my hipbones as much when I put my hand to my hips. It felt very strange.
I have mostly always loved my beautiful body (except sometimes when I was 16 years old & depressed). I never struggled with true body images issues. Just as a secondary thing because of my struggle with depression, when I was a young girl.

One night as I was sulking about the weight, I stood in front of a mirror and was amazed at how beautiful I still found myself.
I realized even more how deep and unconditional my love for my body is.
I still did not like it being disproportionate and not fitting into my old clothes but I still felt nothing but love for it. Not only did I still love it for what it does for me, keeps me alive and let’s me experience but I still found it physically beautiful. I love this experience because it confirmed for me even more that my love is unconditional.
After about a year I went back to being thin but I did nothing to contribute to that intentionally. I still consumed whatever I wanted and all, did no special exercises for weight loss, but after a year, I lost all the weight and fit in my old clothes. And I never put on weight like that again.

Here are some pics of me when I put on the weight.

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As you can probably tell, I was still very confident.

And here is me now/recently:

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(told you I’m feeling the vanity today but it’s ok because you love me, right?! ;-D)

I am beautiful now and was back then as well(makeup is absolutely TERRIBLE though). Now when I look at those old pics of me 5 years ago, I see myself as stunning. I had some dangerous curves! lol I love those curves and that ass. Lol ;-D

We are beautiful no matter our size. Thin girl bashing is just as bad and can be just as damaging as overweight girl bashing.

Real women have curves? Please….
A real woman is a person with the gender identity of a woman. Nothing to do with size or physique.

Also the “girl with no curves is like jeans with no pockets, a man won’t know where to put his hands…” thing is really dumb. If a man doesn’t know where to put his hands on my body, he’s the one with the problem, not me.

Curves have to do with physique anyway, not size. We can be thin with curves and not thin with no curves. I still have curves.

6.) I’m not romantically/sexually attracted to women(or men, actually lol) but I think women are more pleasing to look at than men. Lol ❤

Whatever your gender, gender identity, sexual orientation…

Tell me this

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(you’re welcome! lol)
(not my picture)

Isn’t more appealing than this!

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(you’re welcome! ;-D )
(not my pic!)

Lol

But they’re both incredible looking!

And this!

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(not my pic!)

I love this photo! My dad watches the Sopranos on HBO like every night. That man on the right is a murderer (in the mafia) and the girl on the left is his psychiatrist, Dr. Melfi. They’re both really good looking. He is truly sexy. But I prefer to look at her. She’s even sexier. She’s beautiful. (inside & out) Drop-dead gorgeous.

I wouldn’t mind having depression if I got to stare at and listen to her for 50 minutes each week! Lol ;-D I love their accent, especially how she says words with an “R” in it like “cheers,” “horror,” “for”….it’s adorable!

Her name is Dr. Melfi in the TV show but many refer to her online as Dr. Milfi because she’s sexy as hell. Lol (Milf) She’s so compassionate and soothing. I love her. ❤

You can listen to/watch them talk in this brief therapy scene:

mobile:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OrPIO53cWMY

desktop:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&persist_app=1&v=OrPIO53cWMY

“Even the handsomest men do not have the same momentary effect on the world as a truly beautiful woman does.”

Our professor in college for a clinical psychology class, a clinical psychologist herself, brought in a couple episodes of this tv show for us to watch. This man, Tony, has depression and panic attacks. He’s big and strong and very powerful but still struggles with mental illness and he is embarrassed about it. Our professor wanted to show us that anyone can have a mental illness and it’s not something to be embarrassed about. I found it comforting back then because I was embarrassed about my condition.

7.) I’m single and don’t have a problem with it. I don’t need a romantic relationship to be happy. I always say if I soon find a man who falls head over heels in love with me a nd I fall head over heels in love with him, that’s amazing! But if not, that’s amazing too! I’m not into casual dating at all like when I was in college. I have to see potential for something more or its not happening! Lol 😉 (p.s Im actually not into dating at all or romantic relationships and never have been but especially not dates where there’s no substance or connection – if i was going to go on a date though, there would have to be potential for some connection even if just for that one date – and in college, I only rarely went on “dates” and just for the social aspect – I was lonely and had no true friends so would sometimes agree to a “date” or exchanging phone numbers hoping we would end up as platonic friends or he would introduce me to people n get new friends that way but i stopped doing that since our intentions were different – people ask me a lot about my intentions for dating/marriage so i included this)

8.) In high school one day I was cutting class with another girl and we got caught by a police officer who was a few steps in front of us. He very seriously and gloomily called us over and I remember thinking oh shit and my friend started walking over to him but I was getting ready to run. I looked in back of me to see if I had a chance and was going to take her arm and drag her with me and he said “don’t even think about it!” They must be really great at sensing or reading stuff like that! :-O
So I gave in and very reluctantly walked over to him with my friend. He said “You girls cutting school?” and we both looked down and shook our heads yes. He opened the door to his police car and said alright I’m taking you in. Then he burst out laughing and said just kidding get the hell outta here before someone else catches you!

We laughed and ran away completely relieved! I still smile when I remember that!

9.) When I was a little girl I broke into a factory with my friend, that was being remodeled and we stole some tools and walked around the neighborhood selling them for one dollar for each tool! We told everyone that our dads gave us their old tools. We even sold some to my dad and said they were her dad’s and sold some to her dad saying they were my dad’s old tools.

We later felt so guilty! Especially lying to our dads like that. But all the candy and chips and juicies we bought with the money really cheered us up!

10.) I’m embarrassed by my middle name and always have been. I used to tell people I don’t have one. My sister has the same one as me. I thought it would be cute for us to have the same one. She’s over ten years younger. But I just about die whenever someone asks me what it is.

11.) I am 5 feet and 5 inches tall and used to wish I was taller. I love when I wear six inch heels and feel so taller than everyone else!

12.) For as long as I can remember, I never had “current” interests in like music, singers, clothes….once I’m loving or into something, it usually stays that way. My favorite songs now are the same ones that were when I was little with more added. My tastes stay the same. And I like it that way.

13.) When I was in middle school, I saw a recipe to make peanut butter cups and wrote it down and made them all by myself! I was so proud! I am not one to bake or cook and have no real skills for anything so it was so pleasing to do that all by myself! They were delicious and I ate them all by myself too. 😀

14.) Weekdays have my heart more than weekends. Much more. Just the feel of a week/work day. It’s like magic. ❤

15.) I don’t need coffee. And I don’t drink it everyday. I go days without it.

16.) I love cranberry juice. Yum!

17.) I am extremely patient and am frequently told at work how wonderfully patient I am with people. Aww ❤ I just love people.

18.) It’s sweet to live in a place where we are blessed with the diversity of all four lovely seasons. I love all four. My favorite is Winter & my least favorite is Summer. 😀 I love talking/writing/reading about the weather. To me, it’s inspiring, not merely a “safe” or boring topic just to discuss to have something to say. The seasons deeply inspire me.

19.) the only social media accounts I have are this, Facebook, listography, and photobucket. My sister set up all kinds of other ones for me like Twitter, tumblr..
Whatever else but I can’t get into that.

20.) I have mostly always loved being me. At every age I have ever been. Every stage of life. Even with depression, I couldn’t want to be anyone else.

21.) Thinking much about my ancestry isn’t something I do other than the fact that it’s amazing how ancient people all came together to lead to me. Think about how if one little thing was different, if one person hooked up with someone else instead of another, you, me…wouldn’t be here! What are the chances?! So slim! We could have been someone else! I almost want to cry it’s so beautiful & rare just to be us!!! But I don’t think of myself as anything other than American. I grew up here, my culture contributes so much to what I am, not my ancestry as much. People ask me if I’m Irish because of my last name (my last name is but I am not) but I’m not, I’m just American. If I grew up in Ireland I would be but I grew up right here, never set foot in Ireland.

22.) I don’t take it hard when people lie to me. I’m not that special that if you lie to me it’s the most Earth shattering thing. So many people say they “hate” liars and take being lied to very personally but not me. It’s nothing personal. If they’re lying to you or to me, they very likely lie to others. It’s not like I never told a lie before. And not like I won’t tell a lie again. I’m generally very truthful and open and don’t lie for thrills but come on, who seriously doesn’t ever lie? Are you telling me in all of your days you never do anything and never have done anything but tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? Come on man, get real.

23.) When I was a teenager one year(actually it was a couple years but I did not hang out with them as much after the first year we met), I had a group of friends who were into alcohol and other drugs and sometimes we would all hang out together in some of their houses with no adults around. Sometimes they tried to give me alcohol or other drugs but I always resisted and was never tempted. Now when I think of it, it’s really amazing how a teenager had that kind of steely resolve to never once collapse into that peer pressure, especially a lonely depressed, suicidal teenager who longed for the love of deep friendship. I knew it’s not for me and did not give in to something just because others wanted me to. I’m not even bragging(i’m actually embarrassed to admit I never experimented with alcohol/cigarettes/other drugs) . Lol I’m just kind of in awe.

24.) In college, I took psychology & philosophy. I took psychology for practical purposes and philosophy just for sheer interest. I always wanted a job helping people and heard that things like social work and psychology are good to take for jobs helping others. So I chose psychology. People always said I would have to be a doctor and that there’s no other jobs for psych. Students if we don’t get a medical degree or phd. I was not very informed back then and just agreed and said “ok I’ll get one of those degrees!” lol without even knowing exactly what they are. I later realized that’s not for me and there’s various jobs we can have with an education in psychology. I never did anything with the degree. I work at a store. Lol

25.) I was never the stereotypical psych. Student. I did not ever try to “diagnose” everyone I encounter or myself. I never felt like I have every disease we learned about in psych. Classes and I am nowhere close to being qualified to diagnose people. I don’t feel that I can get in people’s heads and I really do not want to. I don’t over analyze real life situations or people. I save that for when I’m reading fiction. Lol Sometimes things really are just what they seem and don’t need interpretation or analysis. People often assume when I tell them I went to school for psych. That I can or am trying to get in their heads. The comments I get by strangers when I tell them are a turn off! Lol I don’t like telling people that I took psychology too much. It doesn’t mean I’m super intelligent or can get in your head!

😀

So hopefully you find these facts interesting? If not, oh well, it was still fun writing them!

😀

~Hugs~ ❤

Much0 love,

xoxo Kim

Get to know me survey!!! yeeeaaa!!!

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This is a little “get to know me better” bloggy survey!  

So here, get to know me better! Lol ;-D

1.) Define yourself in eleven words.
Empathetic, compassionate, alive, mindful, positive, trusting, happy, depressed, loving, amused, inspired

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2.) Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
I’m a very shy extrovert! I love my own company but also love to be around people! I’m not the life of the party, I’m the quiet girl waiting for someone to come talk to me but I feel very uplifted and energized and hopeful in a room full of people whether or not I  know them, even if no one is talking to me. I may come off as reserved or socially anxious or introverted or a loner but that’s totally not the case! I’m just shy. But I eventually will open up. You’ll be sorry! Lol j/k

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3.) What kind of food won’t you eat?

Cantaloupe, Eww! 

4.) Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Ahh, this question! I never much cared for it. Lol I just go with the flow, bask in the beauty of now. I’m not much of a planner, especially not that much into the future!

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5.) If you could trade places with one person for a day, who would you be?
This would probably be interesting but I’m not so sure I would trade places even for only a day. There’s no one I want to be other than me. It would be enlightening though to see the world through someone else’s eyes, to live and breathe as someone else. I may like to trade with multiple people throughout the day to get various perspectives. If I can only choose one, I would probably choose someone very different than me in some way like someone of a different culture or religious view or someone with an unusual experience so in combination with my own views and experiences, I can try to deepen my understanding of the world and others in general. 

“She woke up every morning with the option of being anyone she wished. How beautiful it was that she always chose herself.” ~ Tyler Kent White

6.) What is your best quality? List two. 
My compassion. I’m not always compassionate but generally I have very deep compassion for all living sentient beings, even those who seem difficult to me. I don’t always feel or act on compassion, I can be cold, an asshole, angry…but for the most part I’m very compassionate. And I try to get better and better. 

Also my lighthearted attitude and how easily amused I am! I can be in severe pain, physical or emotional and still find laughter and lightness often. It’s a fantastic way to be. It’s so inspiring. Everything doesn’t have to be so serious. 

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7.) What book has changed your life? Why? A book called 3:00am. I wrote about it here before! It’s a fictional murder mystery with the main character being someone with a very rare  sleep disorder with no known cure and the book really conveys the message of how each minute, each moment, each breath we take is extremely valuable, important, worth acknowledging and savoring. The man in the book only has one hour each day to be awake so he plans literally every minute individually to get the most in life, he goes for a run, reads his favorite books, goes on the Internet, talks to his dad…and plans each and every minute to live to the fullest before he falls asleep for 23 hours. The story is a reminder that each of us only has these moments right here, right now. We don’t have this disorder but we too only have a limited number of minutes to be awake/alive

I don’t always live like this but after reading that book I am changed and realize and live in such a way more than I used to, so that each minute counts and is the best it can be. 

“Let’s cherish every moment we have been given; the time is passing by…” ~ Kool & the Gang

Here are a couple excerpts:

“Those minutes are my life, I nearly scream. Those minutes that you take so much for granted because you get a thousand of them each day are priceless to me. Your life is measured by title, wealth, and status. My life is measured in grains of sand, trickling from one teardrop to the other.
My nostrils flare when I’m angry and I wonder if Ray feels a small gust of wind. Taking a calm breath, I ponder telling her that I’m Henry Bins and I have Henry Bins. I don’t.” 

(Henry Bins is the disorder named after this man who was the first in the world to be diagnosed.)

“It’s like Christmas, each minute a beautifully wrapped gift just waiting to be opened. Should I allow myself an extra minute in the shower? Could I read three more pages of my book? Run another quarter mile? Watch a YouTube video? Watch the swimming pool scene from Wild Things, twice?”
Check out my post if you want:

https://inspirationalgem.wordpress.com/2014/10/30/300am/

8.) What is your biggest problem/s in life?
One would be my struggle with grief. Also my physical pain disorder and depressive disorder but they are not constantly severe or always a problem. Grief never goes away as long as we live and can be quiet and mellow then out of nowhere or as a result of a trigger (a certain song, place, memory, person, picture…) become raw and violent. The raw & violent moments of grief are very hard to deal with. I found a way for the most part, and I’m getting better and better with it, to make space in my head, life, self…for this grief and other pain, to live in harmony with the rest of me. It’s not always easy but it doesn’t have to interfere with life and happiness. I am blessed, I don’t have many problems or serious things going on. It’s mostly because of my attitude. I am generally, naturally optimistic and cheerful even though I also struggle with depression. So my natural optimism and cheerfulness strengthened with intentional habits and techniques can make problems seem less serious and easier to cope with. Also, problems and pain can teach and strengthen us if we allow them.  

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9.) Who is your role model?
I don’t have one. There’s really no one I try to be like and live up to. Except the Buddha, Buddha Shakymuni, I try to live up to his ways. I want my love, my compassion, my happiness, my selflessness…to mirror his. I don’t always succeed at it and still have a long way to go probably. I am very mortal, fragile, weak next to him, but it’s so good to try. I practice Buddhist meditation, listen to Buddhist songs, attend classes, have Mala recitation beads, and try to live each day inspired by Buddha and practice his Teachings. Dharma is my inspiration and guide. There’s so much I don’t know but I’m learning more & more about Dharma.  

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10.) Do you have any insecurities? What are they? Yes and I love to be open about my flaws, weaknesses, mistakes, problems…because it can inspire others to accept their own and reach out to people in need. I know I can be criticized or mocked when I share, which I do not want to happen, but I think it’s worth the risk. I have already had things I shared about my mental health condition used against me, I had Facebook friends who used it against me and wrote intentionally rude things about my psychotic condition. When we share our less than perfect aspects, other people can feel less alone and more accepting of themselves and others. It’s worth the risk of being attacked or assaulted verbally. (in my opinion) Also, I like people to know much about me.
If they love me anyway, very good, I’m so honored! If not, I will love them and send them on their own way. ❤ For the most part, I'm a confident girl, not insecure. But sometimes I have a limited thought or insecurity that flares up, especially when I'm depressed. Sometimes I struggle with feelings of worthlessness and loneliness. I have often felt the more people I know and friends I have, the more valuable and worthy of life I will be. And the less I have the less valuable I am. And I never had many friends, sometimes I had none or felt like I had none. Sometimes I get jealous of people with lots of friends and big families. The truth is, we don't need lots of friends or family or any to be happy and worthy. Most people probably are happier with friends/family than none. We are social creatures, meant to socialize and be part of groups. I am happier having friends but it's still possible to be happy without any. And other people and things outside of ourselves do not give us value or importance. I'm much better with this insecurity but still struggle now and again with it especially if I'm depressed. It seems like an adolescent problem but I still struggle with it.  Another insecurity, sometimes I feel that I'm not cut out for living or “meant” to live, not in a spiritual or supernatural sense but a depressed sense like I'm so done with living and everything even when I have no specific external problems going on, even when good things are happening, it's a very deep and dangerous feeling or delusion. It's a strong belief and feeling that I am not compatible with life and do not want to be here. It can be very brief lasting just a few minutes or hours up to weeks or months. When I experience it I think it's true and often this is when I come close to killing myself or seriously thinking about killing myself. Also, another insecurity I have very often when I'm depressed is that everyone thinks I should be dead, not that they want me dead necessarily but think I just should be and I feel I have to justify my existence. This is one of the more common things I struggle with. When I'm depressed I often have a strong sense of embarrassment like everyone who looks at me can see right through me and thinks “She has no reason to even exist, she should just die already, what's she still doing here?” This feeling or delusion is also dangerous and I am more likely to kill myself I think, when I experience it than when I do not. When I experience this I often feel that people are mocking me and whispering about me and thinking I am inherently flawed. It is a very difficult thing to endure. It's not that I think everyone always thinks about me but when I feel this way, I think they think it when they are around me or whenever they do think of me. And it's not uncommon for me to experience, unfortunately.  I would never want people to think I have no insecurities or flaws or am never less than happy! I want to be positive and cheerful but genuine. 

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11.) What do you believe?
??? Well let's see, I believe we are all One, One with each other, the whole uni-verse, nature, the stars and moon & sun, animals….I often feel very connected to others and the world around me. I always have since I was a little girl but never knew how to put it into words. I am all for universal love, wishing everyone the best, wanting everyone to be happy and well, not at the expense of others though. When one person wins, we all win. When one person or animal dies, a light goes out on all of us. Your suffering is my suffering, your happiness is mine. Even if someone gets the job I want, I can be happy for that person. If someone has what I desperately want and do not have, I can still be happy and congratulate the person. If it's difficult at first, I can tune into my wisdom of Oneness.
I don't always feel this way even though I believe it. Sometimes I'm depressed and do not feel connected to anyone or anything. Sometimes I'm lonely or jealous or uninspired. But I always find my way back. 

12.) Does blogging enrich or better your life? Yes! Both the people I meet/communicate with and my own writing. I write for others and myself. I know every post may not be read by someone or “liked” or liked but it's still worth it to write and share. It will always be here for anyone who may find it and for me. I don't always publish everyday but I do write for the blog every single day. I am inspired almost everyday, some days the whole day, some days only one moment but each day I find something to inspire me or just feel inspired. I am inspired by what I read, see, feel…..and love to share and uplift or inspire others as well. Writing for here helps me think more clearly and in a more deep way. Sometimes my own writing inspires me! I have a whole collection since 2012 to look back on whenever I want. Once in a while WordPress suggests an old post to read after I publish a new one and I check it out and it's years old and still so inspiring! It's especially helpful when I'm depressed or in severe physical pain and I look back on an old post of mine and know I felt that way and can feel that way again. Other people's positive thoughts and writing can be so uplifting, inspiring,and helpful but there's a certain kind of hope and inspiration knowing I felt that way myself once and have it in me to feel that way again. My cover photo on Facebook says “Life is beautiful.” I don't always feel that way. Often but not always. And when I'm depressed/suicidal or having an agonizing headache, when I see that, I am reminded that I once felt that life is beautiful and can feel that again. Can feel that way NOW! Or soon. 

Most of the stuff I post here is timeless and can apply to anyone. I share my own experiences but try to in a way so anyone at all can relate. Not everyone has depression or headaches but when I write of my experiences with those, I try to make it so anyone can take any problem no matter how minor or serious, and relate. Most of us have basic empathy to relate to one another and we can deepen it.

I feel that writing for here also strengthens my positive attitude in general. It reinforces it, maintains it. I would be positive anyway mostly, but this deepens it and helps me be positive in moments I may not be without it. 
It helps to strengthen my habit of looking on the brighter side of life. I write here of my struggles and my positive way of handling them. Sometimes I don't feel like handling them positively but I am reminded of what I share here frequently and often get inspired to be more positive. It's like a reminder to myself while also potentially helping or reminding others. And I love when I get comments, likes, and shares. ❤

Since I make this mostly a positive place but also genuine, I do admit my flaws and less than pleasant qualities and situations but I highlight my strengths and good qualities and it carries over into life off of the blog. I remember to admit my weaknesses but also appreciate my strengths and blessings more.

13.) What kind of music do you like to listen to? 
I love all kinds but especially Oldies, country, and inspirational! I love love songs and ones with deep meaning and positive messages. I also like angry death metal! Lol! When I was young I felt in some ways that I could relate to it and identify and also found it hilarious. Now I still find it hilarious and laugh hysterically at the same songs! They never get old!  

14.) four facts about yourself:

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1.) green & pink are two of my favorite colors 
2.) if I were to die I would love if my organs can go to someone in need “Don’t take your organs to Heaven, Heaven knows we need them here!” 
In fact, I would love to give one of my kidneys to anyone in need even when I’m alive. I heard the transplant is more likely to be a success with a living donor. Want my kidney? You can have it if you desperately need it to live(I’m not going to sell it to people trying to get money or something…)!! Just let me know. (if I’m allowed to give it, I heard living donors who want to give a kidney to a random stranger must endure some grueling hours of psychiatric evaluation. And I have severe, severe depression but I’m not trying to die, I know what I’m in for! But the doctors may think I’m not thinking clearly because of my history of suicidal depression. But I can assure them I am! I just want to help! It is not without risks and won’t be always easy, but it’s worth it and the medical people make it as safe as possible. I want someone to live. I have two perfect, beautiful kidneys, I only need one!! I have no money so hopefully it doesn’t cost anything on my part! Lol) I don’t want anything in return other than someone living.
Since I was a young girl I have been deeply touched and inspired by the idea of organ donation even though I have never been personally touched by it. 
I always had a strong desire to help. 
I have known for as long as I can remember that I want my organs to go to someone else when I no longer need them. The only reason is that I want someone else to live. There are so many waiting for an organ and there are many organs that would save people’s lives but the person does not consent to donation. Every single eligible person can help.  
I don’t care who they go to. People have asked me, “But what if your heart goes to a ‘nasty,’ ‘undeserving,’ ‘no good,’ …..or whatever other unpleasant adjective….person?!” First of all, most people are not nasty or no good. So that is unlikely. Also it’s better to take the chance of saving an “unworthy” person than not and a “good” person dies. But anyway, everyone deserves to live! 

But I don’t judge those who refuse to donate their organs before or after death even though I wish everyone would after death! I understand and it’s your choice. Organ donation is a beautiful gift and it’s amazing how doctors can perform transplants! What a gift! To have parts of someone else to keep us alive! To give parts of our self to keep someone else alive! Incredible beauty! 
Thank you doctors, nurses, technicians….& organ donors/families & beautiful people!! <333 ❤ Thank You, thank you!! So many people are alive NOW because of the love of organ donors and their families and the love and hard work of the medical professionals involved. 

3.) I'm reading a beautiful novel, that I just found accidentally, about a heart transplant and the pain & beauty of the families involved, how one young woman lives because another young woman died, the guilt and gratitude she experiences and the resentment the dead woman's husband has for the family who received the heart. It's called “Irreplaceable” and conveys so many mixed emotions both painful and beautiful that all involved experience. 
4.) I have hipbone length hair and don't ever want it any shorter. 

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15.) What eleven words do NOT typically describe you?
Motivated (I’m a lazy bum), organized (I’m a slob & a wreck), greedy (well obviously! See above, I’m ready to give you my kidney!), athletic(sports bore me…and I’m lazy!), aloof(i love being close to others both physically and emotionally – I love hugs!), stressed(I’m often calm and handle things well and work well under pressure), dramatic (I’m quiet and balanced – usually), loud (I have a tendency to scream when people walk in my room {it could be an axe murderer for all I know!} but other than that you won’t even know I’m here!), tenacious (the description for zodiac sign for me, insists that I am/should be stubborn but I’m quite the opposite!, I am extremely easy-going, trusting, and have even been called a “push-over” on occasion!), sensitive (in the sense that I’m not easy to offended or hurt emotionally, I can handle criticism, jokes, sarcasm…), moralist/sanctimonious (I don’t like acting like I always know what is right or acting like I live better than anyone else)

Is that eleven? I sort of lost count! 😉

I hope your day is going amazingly!! 

And hopefully you got to know me/know me a bit better?!

If you want, take the survey and let me know! I would just love to see your answers! One of my favorite things to read is “about me” pages & random facts about people. It’s so fun seeing little glimpses of who someone is. ❤

Hugs & love to you, always!

😀

Xoxo Kim 

I love….in 400 words <3

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In my inbox, I was delighted to receive a kind of “blog challenge” post where we write what we love in 400 words. It’s basically just a list but in paragraph form. I love, love, LOVE reading about people, whether I know them or not. I love random, useless, interesting facts about people like their favorite color, book, TV show, movie, things that make them unique and make up the someones that they are. It’s great when people share these little gems. 

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Here is what I love in 400 words:

I love…. tropical scents, Hawaiian Ginger, citrus, coconut, cucumber melon, body mist, scented candles, oldies music and sappy love songs, Center City Philadelphia buildings, hugs, tight red dresses, five inch stilettos, especially open toe, strappy ones, my long hair and the way it feels when it brushes my lower back and blows in the wind, photography, being creative with the pictures, nights in bed with doggies, reading fascinating books, philosophy, bright yellow mums, the way the moon stalks me at night and waking up to the incandescent golden sun, writing, receiving sweet blog comments/notifications, early mornings, hot tea, meditation, mindfulness, meeting people, seeing people, talking to people, both strangers and people I know, busses and trolleys, especially ours, snow and rain, listening to rain and hail pelt upon rooftops, the sounds of the city, especially at night, jury service, crunchy Autumn leaves, Summer bumblebees, the gray barrenness of Winter and the colorful life blossoming in Spring, big, warm, fluffy pj’s, the holiday season, feeling as One with all that is, helping people, inspiring people, being inspired, belly laughs that hurt so good, being amused in inappropriate situations and trying hard not to burst out laughing hysterically, shopping for clothes, the changing of the seasons, random acts of kindness, sweet friends(online and off)/family(including pets), feeling someone else’s happiness as if it were my own, simplicity, animals, people, deep connections with others, the floral fragrance of Spring, Love of all kinds, trees, rivers, bridges, especially the Ben F. Bridge, the bright blue sky dappled in fluffy white clouds, twilight, cobblestone streets, Kindle app, light conversations, deep conversations, personal development, thunder,  lightening, cola, old slow songs, the smell of doggy paws and fur, babies, my heartbeat and the way it feels against my hand, wrinkles, laughlines, gray hair, beauty marks, moles, wisdom, quiet, stillness, tuning into the present moment, old pleasant memories, country music, American Southern accent, English accent, packages in the mail, old books, free books, friendly smiles, denim pants, orchids, pitbulls, kids laughing, life itself, scary haunted attractions, Halloween, fiction mystery thrillers, inspiring novels, art journals, trampolines, cafes, myself, inspiring lists, blogs, cool nights, fireflies, flowers, Christmas, bokeh photos, sleet, paw prints in the snow, Philadelphia, pomeranians, romantic comedies, movies about friendship, being in a room full of people, long walks in warm weather, daylight, nightfall, empathy, quiet afternoons, poetry, dark poetry, obscure poetry, old literature, puppy kisses, gratitude, inspiring quotes

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What do you love?! This is a very uplifting activity. Whenever I make a list of all the amazing things I love, I feel so light, uplifted, and happy! I think it has an unconscious effect. I hope you will do this activity too and even if you don’t want to share it, you can just write it in a journal or on a computer or phone.

You can even put your own spin on it, make a list instead of a paragraph…

If you post what you love, share it in the comments! Or you can just post a few things instead of 400 words. 😀

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Here is the link I received in my inbox. This girl, Tanya Geisler, did this activity. I receive many inspiring e-mails by many places and this is just one.

http://www.tanyageisler.com/thinstugs-i-love-in-400-words/

Thank You for reading!!<3

Much love to you! ❤




Fun facts about meeee <3

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I saw a random blog challenge “get to know me facts” and I love to get to know people and love listing random, useless, but fun facts about me! So here goes!

I did a couple of these before too.
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1.) I love dogs (and all animals) and have six! Three boys and three girls. They are my princes and my princesses! They are the center of my universe and are the most spoiled little things! Four of them sleep in bed with me regularly at night and sometimes five do. They steal my blankets and pillows and it’s annoying but also adorable and I let them keep them.  I’m quite serious when I say my world revolves around them. Lol I usually make sure whatever food I’m eating is safe for dogs so when they’re begging I can give them some even if I prefer a different kind of food that they can’t have! My family celebrates their birthdays and all the anniversaries when they were adopted or came to live with us! They get their own Christmas stocking and everything they want. I wouldn’t have it any other way!

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2.) I’m a very shy extrovert but probably live more like an introvert. I  would love being surrounded  with people day and night if I had the opportunity but I can be just as happy being in my room reading, meditating, or listening to music alone. I love people but also love my own company

3.) I have almost always had a positive body image. When I was a little girl I thought people on TV could see me through the screen and I thought they thought I was the most adorable thing. I had a short denim skirt that was my favorite and I would put it on and dance around the room, showing off, while watching TV, especially that old movie “Pillow Talk” (it was my favorite movie) so they would all see how beautiful I was! Lol

4.)  I don’t watch tv because I just have no interest but I love the TV show “King of Queens” when it’s on in my house. It’s so funny! I have the theme song on my phone! 

5.) My favorite music is Oldies music. Like old old. I’m not talking about 70’s or 80’s although I like some of that too. I’m talking about 50’s music and also 60’s. Ooollllddd ass music! Lol Oldies was my favorite for as long as I can remember but I used to be too embarrassed to tell people, especially other kids, until I was in college. As a teenager I would look up lyrics to all the “coolest” and latest songs just so I was able to join conversations with other kids about music and act like I loved all the same music. I wouldn’t dare spill my dirty little secret that I only listened to those Oldies but goodies! I even used to change the dial on my handheld radio when I put it down in case anyone picked it up and “caught me” listening to oldies. Lol! Now I will proudly scream it off the rooftops. I don’t care what they say I won’t live in a world without Oldies! (I think I shared this fact on here previously somewhere!) 

6.) I love so much when I’m selected for jury service. I love every single thing about it. I love the criminal justice building, center city Philadelphia, learning about the process, the juror sticker, the lunch break, the chairs, the people, the forms, the TV screens, the hallways and rooms, the feel of it, the big room, all the energy I feel being surrounded by all those people ….i would volunteer every week if I could. I wish I were selected every year instead of every other year.  I was never selected as a juror and I am so disappointed. 😦 I always wanted a civil case but criminal ones are interesting too.  
I heard if someone gets put on a trial the person may not get selected again for like over a decade so maybe it’s good I don’t so I don’t  have to go that long without being called again! Most people I hear of try to go to great lengths to get out of it. I would go to great lengths to get into it. Lol like maybe coming up with a fake last name just to get selected more than once every other year! ;-D

“It’s your turn!” lol

7.) I think it would be so amazing to be a lawyer. And I’m good at debating. I can blow your mind with my skills. Lol If I were going to I would like to be a criminal defense attorney. 

8.) I always thought I would love to be a model. To try different hair and clothing styles, expressions and makeup and poses! So fun!

9.) When I was a little girl and wouldn’t get what I wanted (which was rare- my mom over spoiled me!) or things wouldn’t go my way, I would often run around on my ankles all angry, like bend them and run all around, even in school!  Now my ankles collapse unexpectedly on various occasions and I just fall or almost fall. My mom and me laugh hysterically and my mom is convinced it’s because of doing that when I was a kid. If so, I guess it serves me right for being a spoiled little bitch!

10.) I am so easily amused over the dumbest things all throughout everyday even when I’m not in a happy mood and it gets me into trouble but it’s ok, at least I’m having fun and it’s uplifting to be this way! I am so annoyed when I’m angry at someone but also amused and I cannot stop laughing because then it makes it so people probably won’t take my anger seriously! 

11.) I love dark poetry better than the happy kind – not because I’m sad and dark, I’m not usually dark and gloomy and even when I’m happy I love it! I’m just in tune with the dark side. It’s beautiful to capture the darker side of life in photos or poetic writing. But I love happy songs, movies and endings to books, usually better than sad ones.

12.) I’m very interested in things that have to do with law. Philosophy of law is a fascinating subject!

13.) I sit around completing logic problems just for fun and I have as much fun as people when they’re on vacation or traveling, just doing this! It gives me the greatest thrill! 

14.) I don’t drink alcoholic beverages ever and the only reason is it doesn’t appeal to me just like certain food doesn’t. I’m not morally against it or afraid of becoming addicted, although addiction runs in my family severely. I never had more than a few sips in my whole life and that was years ago. 
But alcoholic bottles, cans, and signs are some of my favorite things to takes photos off. Along with cigarette packs.

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I found this under a bridge one night.

15.) I’m not afraid very easily and generally not prone to anxiety. I’m not afraid of needles or blood or hospitals or surgery or rodents or insects or anything. And I have a strong stomach and don’t get queasy over that stuff. 

16.) I would never go skydiving or bungee jumping and roller coasters terrify me. Hell no! Lol I guess it kind of contradicts the above fact! 

17.) I love holidays but I don’t go all out to celebrate, only in my head. I love the feel and I just bask in the energy, sense of unity in the air,  and decorations and beauty all around during the holiday seasons!

18.) I’m not very thoughtful with buying gifts. Some people are so good at choosing the most personalized, touching gifts. Not me. I have no idea what to buy people. My thoughtfulness manifests better in my words or intention to help in some ways, I’m good at writing and expressing my appreciation or well wishes for people even if it’s just a brief Facebook message or blog comment…or thinking of little details that may help make something easier for someone.

19.) I don’t have an aversion to any part of the body, mine or anyone else’s. I see/hear of so many people who claim to not stand people’s feet, even their own (it’s strange how many people I see writing this! Like it’s a trend now or something?). Ummm…it’s part of the body, the way it’s made to be. And some people are disgusted over brain or stomach related things like the acid or fluid! Again, it’s part of the beautiful human anatomy! Not disgusting. Lol
Imagine not having those things! We would be in trouble! The whole body is beautiful. 

20.) I wear old fashioned kind of clothes I guess. No leggings or skinny jeans for me! I love only flare pants and low cut shirts. The same kind of clothes I have been wearing for over a decade. I also don’t care that my bra straps often show even though I see people making fun of girls online for their under garments showing. Lol

21.) I go out with my hair wet right after a shower. I read about a study that says most people perceive girls who go out with wet hair as being lazy and sloppy. Oh well, I am lazy and sloppy, think what you will! 😀

22.) I have a strange memory. I can remember birth dates and other dates extremely well and I can remember facts really good but I cannot for the life of me remember to do things I’m supposed to do or all the things I’m supposed to buy at a store. I can’t remember phone numbers either, including my own!

23.) my mom says I have the mentality of a man which she thinks is disgusting and she’s convinced I was a man “in another life.” I like “dirty” songs and memes. I think perverted jokes are hilarious and things that have to do with bodily functions and text them to her just to freak her out. I can be very immature. Lol

24.) In high school, I had perfect attendance all four years, not one day missed. I loved school and rarely got sick. No matter how much pain I was in, how tired I was, how badly I wanted to roll over and go back to sleep, how horrible the weather was….i got up and out the door. There were even some days my mom encouraged me to stay home like if there was a snowstorm but school was still in session or when I would be in severe head/face pain which was related to my pain disorder but I did not know back then, but I was determined to soak up every day of school I could. Luckily I never had anything serious like influenza or something where I would have had to stay home or I would have put everyone else in danger because I wouldnt risk getting others sick! So it’s all because of my health and my determination. At our graduation, three of us had perfect attendance all four years. More did for three, more for two, and even more for one year.

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and there’s this as well:

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It seems I have a thing for showing up.

25.) physical description: I’m 5 feet 5 inches and always wished I was taller but I love wearing 5 or 6 inch stilettos and I feel super tall when I do! And I love it! I have blue eyes with a large green splash in each one. So when I wear green eye shadow or green shirts, my eyes usually look completely green. I have long hair, a bit longer than waist length and it’s naturally a medium shade of brown with natural orange and blond highlights. Some lighting can make it look more blonde while others can make it look more red/orange. But it’s brown. I love it and never put hair dye in it. I don’t change my hair style ever, I never get tired of it. I just trim it occasionally. 

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26.) I never needed glasses or contacts but I think glasses are cute and if I needed glasses I would choose them over contacts. Also, less dangerous even though they probably have more complications than contacts. 

27.) I have always loved brown eyes. They are so warm and lovely. But I think all colors are pretty.

28.) I don’t really plan things and don’t mind having plans change at the last minute or planning things on the spur of the moment. I’m easy-going and procrastinate with things and am messy and disorganized. I’m not a perfectionist(although sometimes I wish I were perfect – whatever “perfect” is.). It’s not all good but it’s also a lot less negative stress to be this way, I think, than one of these “type A personalities.”

29.) I love when there’s something I swore up and down I would never like, do, or wear then I come to love it! Example: flats. I always disliked flat shoes and said I would never wear them. Ever. I thought they were ugly and just Eww but now I love flats and have a few pairs. I actually had many pairs but my dog chewed them along with a few pairs of my stilettos! Also, cheeses fries with ketchup on them! Eww! I used to see kids eating them in high school and it was disgusting! Then one day in college I ordered cheese fries at one of the window stands and clearly said no ketchup when they asked and they put ketchup on but I was so hungry I tried them and loved them! And I promised I would never read fiction books. I thought it was a waste and only wanted to read education stuff now I LOVE fiction after reading a fiction book just because I liked the title and it inspired me to try more now I’m hooked! And I love how fiction isn’t restrained by the rules of reality even in realistic novels and anything can go!

30.) I’m extremely forgiving and probably couldn’t hold a grudge if my life depended on it, especially when people say sorry or appear to be sorry. It comes very naturally to me, it’s not even like I have to make it a point to try to forgive usually, it just comes easily, automatically. But sometimes it doesn’t and I accept or work on it. 

31.) I’m also extremely trusting to the point I’m stupid. And I trust the same people over and over and over no matter what they keep doing.

32.) I believe people are basically good. Some go above and beyond the goodness of the average person and most everyone does not good stuff now and again but I believe deep inside we’re pretty much all good.

33.) I am very easy to please. Very, very. I’m satisfied with nearly every movie I watch, every book I read, all the food I consume, every gift I receive. But once in a while(rarely) I do read a book I dislike and am not used to the feeling it provokes in me. I recently purchased a book about a Christmas story and a mystery baby and it really isn’t that good. It made no sense to me, like the point. I have some sense of it though. And also it just isn’t that interesting and I felt that my night was wasted because I stayed up all night reading it just to find out the answer to the mystery. I usually just stop reading when a book isn’t good but I wanted to see the big mystery! And it was a disappointment anyway! 
Lol I don’t care about the wasted money and anyway it was only $1.00 and someone is probably being helped by the money that goes to the book so that’s good. It’s my wasted night I can’t get back. But it’s not really “wasted.” It was my choice and I would never have known if not for staying up reading. I love thinking back even a long while later, to when I read certain books and the feelings they bring back. 

34.) Greasy food is heaven to me, the greasier the better!! I love Mcdonald’s french fries but they were better when they were more greasy and less healthy, they tasted better but now they got healthy I think. Still delicious though. I think our president’s wife got to them with her health freak ways! Lol

35.) Coca Cola is my favorite soda!! I drink it everyday! I think it’s the least healthy soda too. I drink water at night now and early in the morning more than soda but all day it’s Coca Cola all the way! I can tell the difference right away with Pepsi and Coca Cola. Many people say they taste the same. Not to me! Pepsi is weaker. And less and different flavor. And I take pictures of Coca Cola trucks whenever I see one! 

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36.) I love animated, kiddie movies like Toy Story, Arthur Christmas, and the Nightmare Before Christmas!! My dog is named Woody after the doll in Toy Story. It’s actually Dagwood and we call him Woody! He’s less than four months old!

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37.) I’m not a crier(sp?) for me, it’s not my cup of tea. No matter how happy, joyful, sad, or depressed I am, I will not cry over it. I have breakdowns but only in my head. Lol I am good at remaining calm and composed. I experience deep sensation/emotion but it doesn’t provoke me to cry. The only thing that can have me wanting to scream and sob hysterically out loud is a certain kind of physical pain. 

” Raindrops keep fallin’ on my head
But that doesn’t mean my eyes will soon be turning red
Crying’s not for me
Cause I ain’t gonna stop the rain by complaining” ~ Bj Thomas

38.)  When I was a little girl, I had a bad habit of picking stuff up off the ground. Anything I could get my hands on. My mom used to scream in horror over the stuff I picked up. Unsanitary stuff, leaves, earrings, pins, old razor blades, hospital bracelets, stones, acorns and pine cones…sadly I haven’t outgrown that habit for some reason. Not so long ago I picked up a tube of something thinking it was paint. It was testosterone gel, that stuff advertised on commercials warning women and children not to touch. I touched it. 

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(a little something I found under a bridge one night – it’s empty and I don’t smoke cigarettes)

39.) I like to dance around my room late at night and very early in the morning while the world around me is sound asleep. I listen to music and dance dance dance…usually gratitude meditations can trigger this.

😀

Xoxo Kim


In My Image <3

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I have been feeling a bit creative or like I want to be creative and was searching for some creative writing prompts and found this: 

http://m.pw.org/writing-prompts-exercises

I was searching for fictional prompts, like short story ones, but these ones are real life ones. 

I’m choosing this one today :

In Your Own Image”

“In many ways you are everyone who came before you. Your uniqueness is your own spin on the DNA of your ancestors. Spend several minutes sitting quietly in front of a mirror. Reflect. Other than you, whom else do you see? Write 500 words about how you feel towards these people you’ve never met but who are a part of you. Their story is yours, too.”

What a beautiful concept and writing prompt.

As I look at myself, I see my eyes and everything they convey. On the surface, I see the color, the blueness and the deep splashes of green, like flourishing floret splashes across an afternoon sapphire sky, I see my very long, thick full lashes I have had for as long as I can remember, one of my mom’s gifts to me which I used to loathe now I love. I can now see creases around my eyes, which were not present previously in this life of mine, creases which signify age, years of struggles, pain, laughter, wisdom, heartache…lines upon my face – the result of a lifetime of belly laughs & smiles and sunshine.

I see my long, thick tresses, cascading my shoulders like burnt sienna waterfalls and clinging to my waist, with natural golden & orange highlights.

I see my freckles which become very noticeable every Fall and I have never liked but my mom always thinks are so cute. My sister and me both have them.

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I see my mom. I have inherited her youthfulness, her glow, her long lashes, her easily amused temperament, her ability to see the positive in almost every situation , her love for animals, I may have inherited a bit of her aversion to death and anything that has anything to do with it. I see my grand mom, my mom’s mom who must have handed down that youthful glow to my mom which I have inherited.

I see my dad. I have almost his same hair color but mine is a shade darker. I inherited his natural thinness which usually stands unbuffeted by anything I put into my body or anything going on around or within me. I have his legs which we always joke in my family are “chicken legs.”. I see me as a little girl doing a chicken dance with my silly chicken legs having my family laughing uncontrollably. 

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I have inherited my dad’s love of intellectual thinking, debates, writing, reading, his love of personal development topics…and also his nocuous longing to be reassured again and again and again that “everything will be ok.”  I have inherited his heartburn, the need to feel I have gotten my point across or I feel unsettled for the rest of the day, his agonizing mental health condition, his shyness, and his playfulness.

I see my little sister. We connect in uncanny ways. We both look at something that has absolutely nothing at all to do with something else but it somehow automatically reminds us both of that something else. We often *know* without a doubt what each other is about to say before it’s said. We have conversations like this:

Me: hey, remember whe….

Her: (laughing) yeah that day at the mall when…

Me: we had those Spring rolls and..

Her: they tasted the way a pony smells! 

Lol! We just know.

I see that one Christmas Eve when we ripped open my mom’s Christmas gift that my grand mom bought her that was not to be opened until Christmas day by my mom. But my sister and me just had to know what the gift was while my mom was fast asleep with visions of sugar plumbs dancing in her head. It was big warm, fluffy sweaters! We wore them all night long into Christmas morning laughing our heads off, bouncing off the walls, watching holiday music, listening to holiday cheer, drinking hot cocoa… We can be each other’s worst enemy but we can be each other’s best friend. My sister, my friend.

I see my dad’s grand mom who I have never met. She died before I came to be. My dad told me she had a strong powerful loving like no other.   I like to think I inherited that love. She couldn’t shower people in enough love. Sometimes I feel there aren’t enough people in this world for me to love. And I think of her.  She bought candy and toys for all her boys. She gave them shelter and comfort.  My dad says she always dreamed of having a sweet little girl of her own, a daughter or a granddaughter but all she ever got were boys.  He said she would have loved me so much. She never got her girl.  Sometimes my heart aches but I let her strong, potent message of love be my guide. I never even seen a picture of her but sometimes when I look into my eyes, I see her.  She never got the chance to be proud of me. But I can be the kind of girl she would be so proud of.

I see my mom’s dad. My grandfather I never got to meet. She said he was beautiful, caring, full of love & light. He died tragically young. But through the stories, I can feel the love he put into the world which he left too soon but his love still lingers.

I see my dad’s mom who I have met but can’t remember. She also died tragically soon. I heard she was extremely friendly and very sociable.

I see my father’s father who I hear died for love. He was hopelessly in love with a Japanese girl who went back to her own country without him and so he drank himself to death when he was 30 years old. Tragic & heartbreaking but what a passionate kind of love. I vow to love that way but still stand strong enough to handle rejection abandonment,  & heartbreak. 

I see all of the people who run through my blood today and everyday. The people who have been with me since I took my first breath and laid eyes on the world they brought me to and even before. I see their gifts, their struggles, their heartache, their hard lessons learned, their tears & their laughter. I see their joy and their will. I see what I want to be and what I don’t want to be.

I see the people who go way way back, the primitive people who led to me. I see a reflection of hope, perseverance, strength, and love.

I wish I could have met each and every one of them. But whenever I long to look into their eyes, I glare into my own. And I see them. I carry them with me everywhere, everyday.  

They survived many unimaginable things. And I will survive.

They gave me life. And while I can never repay or thank them. I can repay and thank the world.   By being the best me that I can be. Not a perfectionist who never fails. Not someone who is never wrong.   I will be wrong again & again but I will never go wrong with love.

I see the day I said to my mom “that happened long before I was ever even thought of!” & my mom said “You were never not thought of, I thought of you, loved you since I was a little girl myself and I always knew I wanted a little girl of my own.” My mom couldn’t have kids for so many years and was told maybe she never would and now here I am! And 10 years after me, my sister came along! 

And that man in the picture with me. I see him too.   When I look into my eyes. Uncle Al. We’re not related biologically but he loved me. I love him. I don’t  have many early memories.   But I remember him, vividly. I remember his love. I remember how funny he was. I remember how sarcastic and silly he would be. The way he would pretend to be angry then start laughing.  The small gifts he bought me, the smell of his car and the feel riding in it with sunlight streaming in.

It’s incredible how vivid those memories are, so profound, and true when I was so young. They are forever etched upon the premises of my being.  

Uncle Al.

I see us many years ago. Standing in a car parking lot on a bright & sunny day outside of a dollar store in Philadelphia, my city. I see me standing there. I see him walking out of the store with a big, warm, bright smile on his face waving a fan around in his hand with bunny rabbits on it. He looks at me, “Look what I bought for you, my love.”. Thrilled I run to him as he wraps me in his warm loving arms. He holds out the fan. I reach for it. He pulls it back just before I reach it. “Unnnccllee Alllll” I yell while giggling so hard.

I don’t remember when he died. He was just gone one day.

But I know…

His birthday is in May. Just like mine.

I remember he would fill his hands with coins and tell me if I can get his fingers open, I get to keep all the coins. My dad said when he was a little boy he did the same to him. We could never get his fingers open. But he let us keep the coins.

How blessed I am.
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I hope you realize how amazing it is that you are you! What are the chances! It took so much, so many things to occur & coincide for you to just turn out to be you!

Never get so used to yourself that you forget the true “miracle” you are.

Check this: http://zaborski.org/?p=20

Someone shared this with me for my 27th b day on Facebook. 

Xoxo Kim

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If you really knew me…<3

So this is a blogging trend and I decided to do my own.

It’s just random facts and things that people may or may not know about me! Maybe you’ll find them interesting, maybe not. Maybe they are useless, maybe pointless, or maybe fascinating! Yay! Lol 😉

 

So if you really knew me..

 

 

You would know that I’m a makeup junkie and love getting dolled up at all hours of the day or night. Sometimes I don’t put my makeup on until late at night just before retiring to bed just because I feel like it. Or I wash off my makeup that is already on and go for a different look. Lol. Sometimes I straighten my hair before bed even though I’m only going to get a shower in the morning and it will go right back to it’s extra wavy, sometimes almost lightly curly self! And I prance around in 5 inch stilettos in my house sometimes at midnight and put on dresses. Yeah, don’t ask…. 😉

 

You would know that I am a self-help/inspiration junkie who loves self-help books, blogs, websites, articles, whatever I can find and I can find inspiration in just about anything. And want to teach the world all I can. ❤

 

You would know that I am extremely simple but not dull.

Girls are often known for being complicated or complex and somewhat hard to figure out. But not me! 😉 And while I have a rich inner-life/thoughts and stuff I am easy to understand when I say something there’s usually not some underlying implication for people to have to analyze or interpret or rip apart to understand. If I say “that’s ok.” It IS ok! I don’t expect people to be my mind readers. If I had a boyfriend, I would tell him like it really is and not expect him to have to delve deep inside to figure out what in the hell I’m actually talking about. If I say, “do what you want” then do what you want! Lol. Straight talk is what’s up! I don’t make things more complicated than they have to be. I am willing to compromise, even give some things up to avoid big blow ups. And since my family is looney, I have learned even better how to be more simplistic to avoid lots of bs.

 

You would know that I generally don’t get angry, anxious, or even too unhappy when things accidentally don’t go as planned. I just go with the flow even when plans turn out to be a wreck. Stuck in traffic? Oh well, I’m here what can be done now?! Someone Cancels at the last minute? Alrighty I’ll just make new plans!

 

You would know I’m a lazy kind of girl. Truly! I don’t have that “A” kind of personality that people speak of. I’m not uptight and perfectionist-like. Noperz! I just take things lightly, I procrastinate, I’m a slacker. Lol. But I won’t let others down and at my job I do the best I can. Yup! Lol 😉

 

You would know that I love my gossip just as much as the next girl. But I won’t gossip in a way that will hurt anyone or to people who will blab someone’s stuff to someone else.  

 

You would know that I don’t watch tv and haven’t in years. I cannot bring myself to sit and watch a television show but I know there are so many I find interesting. I don’t know about tv or all those tv shows people speak of these days and all those young/new celebs and reality tv. Nothing wrong with watching tv, it’s just not my cup of tea!

 

You would know that I am what is considered an “open book”. I’m good at expressing myself, sharing my stories, struggles, dreams, happiness, pain, anything really. Even to people I don’t really know.

I am shy but not secretive or shady. I can keep other people’s secrets but don’t really have many of my own.

 

You would know that I’m very easy going, easy to get along with, super friendly but very shy at first.

 

You would know that I feel other people’s pleasure and pain almost as if it were my own even if I don’t know them or just read about them online. I once stumbled upon a beautiful girl’s blog who was getting married in just a few days.

And I could just feel her immense joy and elation and so much happiness for her. The anxious-ness, the disbelief! The “omg! This is really happening!!” feeling!! I felt as if it were someone so close to me getting married, like my sister or friend, or me, myself! And I never even met her!

 

You would know that I’m extremely patient. Good with kids and difficult people. I work at a store where people change their minds often after I already make up their ice cream hot fudge sundae with crushed cherries, pineapples, wet walnuts, extra whipped cream, carmel and chocolate syrup and cherry on top to a large ice cream cone with rainbow sprinkles. Lol! I just make it over, no problem!

And they are usually very friendly about it and apologize frequently but I tell them there’s no need! You should get what you want!

 

You would know that I think I would love to and be good at working with special needs kids. They require so much love and care and patience and I just am bursting with all of that and would love to care for them.

 

You would know that “misery loves company” is not really true for me. When I’m miserable I usually like to know that great things are still happening to other people. One day not so long ago I was in a low mood feeling like a failure and like nothing would ever go right for me, like I wouldn’t accomplish anything, ever. Then I saw a group of beautiful young women in a wedding, walking up the street towards me. A stunning young bride in a gorgeous white dress that clung to her and all her gorgeous bridesmaids holding beautiful red flowers and wearing clingy black dresses, all in stilettos, with their hair all beautifully fixed.

It immediately uplifted me. They were all genuinely glowing and getting their picture taken together. I thought to myself my world kind of sucks today but at least all is right in their world! ❤ 😀

 

You would no that I’m know grammer or spellin’ nazi! Don’t care!! Lol. As long as I get the gist of what someone is saying/writing it’s alright with me! And yup! I spelled those words wrong on purpose as a joke! Lolz. I’m a joker!

When people are debating or arguing online and start attacking each other for spelling and grammar, to me it’s a sign of weakness in their arguments. They probably don’t have a strong enough argument or points so they resort to attacking spelling mistakes. Or they are just bitter for the other side and want to get them however they can. :-/

 

You would know that I’m the biggest fan of Oldies, 50’s and 60’s music that you’ll probably ever meet and always have been for as long as I can remember!! If it’s an oldies, I can guarantee you I probably know it and the name of the singer/band who sings it. And in school, as a young girl, I would lie to other kids about it and act like I liked the music they liked. The newest, “coolest”, trendiest music. And I would search the lyrics online and facts so I would be able to join in and answer questions that I was asked! I wasn’t about to spill my dirty little secret! Lmao! When I was 18 years old in college I finally quit my lies and embraced my true, passionate love for Oldies! Now I’m a PROUD Oldies lover! And I’ll scream it off the rooftops! Mmmm hmmmm! ❤ 😉

 

You would know that I’m kind of a “good girl”. Never got in much trouble anywhere, never enjoyed the club scene or been bar hopping, don’t care about loud crazy parties, never hosted any or been to many, never been to college parties….no alcohol or cigarettes for me. I like staying home, Reading, cafes with friends, restaurants, movie theatres, walking….things of that sort. 

 

You would know that I’m the kind of girl who goes to great lengths no matter the cost to myself, to help others whether or not I know them.

One day I dragged my ass to the acme and 1:00 in the morning because I found out the gay/straight alliance in college was having a bake sale to get money for awareness for lgbt issues and I just knew I had to help so I bought stuff to make cookies!! Lol!

 

You would know that I rarely negatively judge people. No matter how different they are than me. No matter how “unusual” or “abnormal” they or the things they do are. I’m laid back, easy going.  

 

You would know that I don’t understand math or politics for the life of me no matter how much I try but still find those subjects fascinating. Seriously, I couldn’t do a basic addition Math problem to save my life. But I can write good essays and research papers, or so I have been told. Lol. So I’m not completely dense. I guess? Lol 😉

 

You would know that I’m absent-minded as can be. I lose things. I lose money, probably more often than not. I lose 20 dollar bills a lot. I forget where I put things. I look at the clock to see what time it is and am not paying attention and have to look again, I walk into a room and forget what on Earth I’m doing in there. Lmao! I’m a disorganized mess! 

 

You would know that I’m easily amused. Very. Very easily amused. I laugh at everything and nothing. At myself and all! The most inappropriate things and the most “boring” (according to others) things. When I’m in the movie theatres I’m the one still laughing hysterically long after everyone else has stopped. Lol! I laugh when I’m alone and with people. But I don’t like jokes that have to do with death or disease. I don’t laugh at those. They are cruel and they disgust me. I don’t like jokes about presidents being killed and the Titanic sinking. I don’t care how long ago it was. I don’t like jokes about Michael J. Fox and his Parkinson’s Disease. That is vicious. I don’t like jokes about suicide victims. That is low. I’m very easy to entertain. 🙂

 

You would know that I’m not easily offended. And I don’t always take things too personally or too hard. Life just isn’t meant to be taken so seriously!! 😀

 

You would know that I used to mostly always only dress in black when I was a girl. About 20 (or a bit younger) – 23 or 24 years old, only wear dark makeup, black nail polish. Lots and lots of bracelets, piercings all over (still wear the bracelets and have the piercings). I was constantly labeled as “goth” or “semi-goth” and called the gothic girl frequently. But I myself have never considered myself goth. But never minded the label. Now there’s much color in my world. I paint my nails various colors, wear colorful clothes….

 

You would know I love reading facts about people whether or not I know them. I love reading people’s bio sections, their favorite color, favorite food, “weird” quirks, funny stories, personal blogs about their families and kids and happy lives, even what many consider “boring” facts, lists such as this. I just love people and their lives!

 

You would know that I love babies. My heart melts at the sight or sound of them! I wouldn’t mind watching someone’s or holding a big baby and as a girl, I loved playing dolls, house, kitchen, but I never not once wanted a kid of my own and I know I never will. Just zero desire, not my cup of tea. Doesn’t interest me. Not for any specific reason. As much as I adore kids I just don’t have that natural desire that I guess most girls have, to have kids. I have been criticized for that one but guess what….? I don’t care! Lol 😉 

 

You would know that I am also the biggest fan of sappy love songs, specifically old ones, and I love my sap! I love love and friendship and songs and poetry that conveys the warmth of it. I love romantic comedies and friendship movies….

 

I guess this is it for now! Thank You for getting to know me better! ❤

 

P.S. When I get a shower, it usually steams up the medicine cabinet mirror. Which is the mirror I like to use to put my makeup on because I can get closest to it. I can’t keep the door open because my dad’s parakeets can get out. I got tired of it always being steamed up and even when I make an attempt to clean it with a towel, it smears and gets worse or whatever. So today I came up with the absolutely brilliant idea to put a towel over it! So the steam wouldn’t get to it! I felt proud of my sudden great idea! So after the shower I ripped the towel off and……. Much to my surprise, it was steamed up anyway! Lol! Words cannot express my disappointment and confusion! I stood there for like two minutes all grim and doing nothing! And then? I laughed at myself and went about my day! Yeah this is probably like the most random thing you have read all day! I know. But I just felt like it! 

😀 

 

You just gotta love me! :-p

 

Xox0 Kim 😀 Image