Tag Archive | mindfulness

Just some random body positivity post! ❀️(Revealing photos{of me in lingerie}, just a heads up πŸ˜†)

“Two things in the world are not meant to be hidden – love and a woman in a red dress.”

(This isn’t a dress; it’s a teddy lol) ❀️

I splurged on some new lingerie, just for myself to look pretty in. I want to start doing photoshoots (me being the photographer and the model) for body/age(older women are even hotter!) positivity, celebration of female beauty, aesthetics…. Unfortunately I cannot really fit anymore pics on here. I have to see how to upgrade and get more storage space. And on Facebook, there is so much s*ut bashing and misogyny. I’m not promiscuous, just like revealing clothing, and nothing wrong with being promiscuous anyway. But facebook is full of misogynistic men who insist everything a woman does is for them, saying we’re “asking for it” and stuff. And that we shouldn’t post “thirst trap” photos unless we want their attention and they get butthurt when they are rejected. So I may or may not put pics on there but definitely will on Instagram! I also use VSCO but haven’t in a while because there are too many glitches and it’s hard to use now on my phone but I’ll try again. I’m in a bunch of lesbian groups on Facebook, including lesbian thirst trap ones intended to share revealing photos of ourselves, and may post some there. There aren’t supposed to be any (cisgender) men in those groups (though I wouldn’t be surprised if there are some pervs lurking) and most women don’t act like that, so it’s a safespace. I LOVE compliments by anyone of any gender but too many men act entitled and can’t handle rejection then criticize us for dressing a certain way and/or posting pics of ourselves. I don’t mind them looking though. I can take a compliment. LoL

Like I always say to the men, you can look but “U can’t touch this.” πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†

πŸ’‹ xoxo

I’m going to order this in red and other colors too! β€οΈπŸ’‹ My skin is so so soft and smooth ever since my skincare routine. I am Heaven to touch. LoL I rub lotions and oils all over me, just out of a shower (it works better when the skin is wet), then again in the morning. I also use special soap and my skin looks so clean. Also, slather on that sunblock! Spf 50 and 70 is best but at least 30!

This is extremely revealing! LoL You can see all my stuff right through it. That’s why my hand is there(hoping it just looks casually placed and not like I’m trying to cover it πŸ˜†). Not that I mind but it’s not allowed on most social media platforms. LoL

LoL πŸ˜†
Xoxo πŸ’‹πŸ˜˜
LoL I look a tad mischievous here. πŸ˜†πŸ–€

πŸ–€

Black velvet, if you please. πŸ–€
πŸ–€βœ¨ Never let anyone dull your sparkle. πŸ’–
“Baby, that red dress brings me to my knees
Oh, but that black dress makes it hard to breathe” πŸ–€
❀️

I love compliments of any kind by people of all genders but definitely not looking for the D. LoL πŸ˜†πŸ˜‚ Keep that ish in your pants 😁

This is the disclaimer I am going to start putting on any thirst trappy photos I post on Facebook. LoL πŸ˜† (No, this isn’t a thirst trap for men. Yes, I appreciate compliments, but I don’t get all dolled up and think “I’m going to look so good for these men today.” lol For me, it’s about body positivity, aesthetics, celebrating female beauty…and also we can celebrate our sexuality {if we have one} and it not be about men or anyone else. A woman can feel empowered and confident in her own sexuality and want to express it for herself. Her sexuality is her own. Even if she’s attracted to men, that doesn’t mean she’s sharing pics of herself just for them. It’s about her. And she may not even be attracted to men. And often, women even post to inspire other women or fem presenting people. I’m going to copy and paste this disclaimer on each pic of me that I share because men are saying we shouldn’t post “thirst trap” photos unless we want them and then are calling us s*uts and wh*res if we ignore or reject them, asking why we post pics of ourselves in revealing clothing then. I had to block a few already. So yeah, this will be on each of my pictures that could come off as thirst trappy. lol Compliments of any nature are welcome though, by people of all genders.)

So these are a few recent photos of me! I will purchase more lingerie soon and get more pics. Hopefully I get more storage space soon! 😁

I suggest, once in a while, splurging on something just for yourself even if not needed. It’s ok to purchase something unnecessary now and again that brings us joy. It’s a form of self care. I do not need this lingerie or the heels I buy occasionally and can’t even really use it much. Can’t wear the lingerie out and it’s not even that comfy to sleep in. I’m a dogwalker and can’t wear the heels usually. But it makes me so happy to dress up on occasion, just for me, and maybe take some pics. ❀️ Go for it! Buy that dress you may never wear or the heels that aren’t practical but oh so pretty. Buy the teddy just for you even if no one else will see.

(not my photo)

I hope you are having a beautiful day or night wherever in the world you are! Sending hugs to all who want any!

And remember, beauty comes in all sizes, shapes, ethnicities, ages…❀️ If you got it, flaunt it, and if you don’t, flaunt it anyway! Nothing wrong with celebrating our own beauty and each other’s! 😍 Also, remember, a woman can celebrate her own beauty in a solely aesthetic way or even celebrate her sexuality without meaning it’s for a man. She may just feel empowered and confident expressing her sexuality through clothing and pics or she may be posting for other women, either to inspire other heterosexual women or she may be attracted to other women/women aligned people. And all of that is valid! ❀️

(I posted some of these on Instagram after writing this post. I wrote this a couple weeks ago and never published it.)

My next post is going to be about something I have never shared with anyone before, not online or in person. Something I have kept tucked away in my head for over a decade. A true story of love & heartbreak. My own experience of telling a woman I loved her and getting rejected. Also some of my experience with growing up, not heterosexual/not attracted to men (this part I have shared in the last few years, but I’m going to share some in depth experience in my next post!). It’s a post I have been working on for a while and it’s just about ready!

Xoxo Kim ❀️😘

Love πŸ’•β€οΈ

I had not loved enough. I’d been busy, busy, so busy, preparing for life, while life floated by me, quiet and swift as a regatta.

I had another post planned for today but it’s not prepared yet so I’ll probably post it tomorrow!

Xoxo Kim ❀️

Just breathe πŸ’™πŸ•‰

Mozart: Canzonetta Sull’aria – YouTube song 🎡

Relaxing songs list – website

How to use 4-7-8 breathing for anxiety – website

Diaphragmatic Breathing – Short youtube video to quickly learn how to breathe most effectively

(Content/possible trigger warning ⚠️: In part of this post, I briefly & lightly mention BDSM, a kink, where people, with consent, may be t**d up, usually in a s*xual context. It’s nothing graphic that I explain but just mentioning something to do with breathing that I learned in a fiction book about BDSM, that helps with meditation. But anyone who has experienced trauma may be triggered even by non graphic things, even by seeing certain words so I may block some things out with *** It’s important to face triggers but only when ready as possible, not by suddenly seeing a post on the internet when not in the frame of mind. Also, some asexual people do not want to encounter anything that has anything to do with s*x even if they weren’t traumatized because it’s icky or repulsive to them[not prudes at all, just grossed out and/or tired of hearing about the s*x constantly when it’s not in someone’s nature to want/crave it].

I’ll put a warning before the mention of the BDSM so any trauma survivors or aces can skip it. And I will put the caution signs ⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️ at the end so anyone who skips can see where it ends and continue reading.)

The 4-7-8 breathing technique, also known as ‘relaxing breath,’ involves breathing in for 4 seconds, holding the breath for 7 seconds, and exhaling for 8 seconds.

This is a very simple and powerful technique to stop anxiety in its tracks. Of course, it may not work for every single person but is effective for many, if not most. For me, it works instantly.

I haven’t been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and never struggled with general anxiety but I have suffered a six month long battle with debilitating health anxiety in 2019. And in 2015 I lost my close friend unexpectedly to a heart attack and after that have struggled with bouts of anxiety off and on and fear of others I know all of a sudden dying. Every now and again but not frequently, I have this terrible suffocating fear arise that someone I know will die soon or is dying right now or will suffer an illness. It’s something that comes and goes and even though it’s not constant or usually frequent, it is difficult to bear when it does occur. It can feel like it will never end and like I am the only one in the world suffering it. I have also struggled with crippling claustrophobia, which I have conquered on my own as I frequently must get on elevators for work. It was important for me to heal it.

So while I don’t have anxiety as badly or frequently as some people and don’t currently have a disorder, I know what it’s like to be plagued by anxiety sometimes. I believe my experience with health anxiety in 2019 would have been diagnosed as a fullblown disorder if I would have asked for help. It takes extreme strength and courage to battle anxiety. It’s a display of strength and courage to live with anxiety, NOT a sign of weakness or cowardice. People with anxiety are forced to be stronger than people without anxiety have to be, yet often feel we are weak and cowardly if we are anxious and fearful. There is no way we would be surviving it each second if we were weak minded. It takes emotional and physical strength to endure. To me, it’s worse than depression and I have suffered severe depression off and on for years. It’s difficult to imagine the strength of anxiety survivors who live with it regularly. Just six months for me was nearly unbearable.

My anxiety when it arises, more often than not, manifests as physical sensations and emotions as opposed to thoughts. Because of this, mine may be easier to calm down when it does arise than if I had deeply rooted fears and thoughts.

My heart pounds, nearly out of my chest, my breathing becomes shallow, my head spins, and bolts of fear run up and down my body, heart palpitations, and I have this terrible feeling that someone I know is dying, near death, or will soon die. Sometimes it lasts off and on for days, usually just off and on in one day. It tends to be worse at night and early mornings when it is occurring. And sometimes my health anxiety for my own self tries to return and convince me I have cancer. It’s absolutely frightening and life destroying when it’s constant like in 2019. I developed uncontrollable rituals each day, incessantly checking for lumps and marks on my body. I stayed on Google day and night reading about diseases and looking at pictures of diseases I was convinced I had. It was a fullblown obsession. How I survived those six months, I still don’t know.

When it’s out of control, it’s very difficult to meditate or just breathe so best to catch it when a symptom or episode is just beginning, or beginning to worsen, or not quite as intense. When my heart begins to pound or those bolts of fear ripple up and down my body, I do the 4-7-8 breathing technique and instantly my body calms. It’s not a cure, of course, but a good way to get instant relief and if it becomes a habit, it may just be a “cure” for some or at least make anxiety less frequent. It’s just it can be difficult finding the motivation or time to make it an ingrained habit. Or for many, their anxiety is just generally too severe to be able to sit there and breathe, mindfully.

But for me, it does work. When I’m out walking, if I am hit with fear or panic or anxious sensations, I do that breathing technique. Also, I haven’t made it a habit yet but at night/morning, I listen to a peaceful song/music and do the breathing technique even if I am not currently anxious. It’s very pleasant and can prevent anxiety. It instills in me a peaceful sensation all throughout.

One thing to be mindful of is if we meditate only infrequently or haven’t in a while, meditation may bring out more fear or anxiety or anger or sadness or grief…, because we have emotions and responses to everyday life and certain experiences already inside us and often pent up. Meditation will loosen it up and bring it all to the surface/consciousness like a plunger loosening all the contents in a sink or toilet. Lol It may make it seem like meditation or mindfulness is a bad thing or just not for us. But could just be we have to meditate more often. Everyday we experience things and our emotional reactions no matter how serious or not, build up. We get cut off in traffic, we drop things, we spill coffee on our white shirt, we see someone almost get hit by a car running across a street, we hear a loud noise that startles us, our coworker says something that ticks us off, we may remember someone dying years ago and feel current distress or sadness about it…all of our emotional reactions to these things stay inside us even if we quickly forget them. Then meditation brings it all out later and we may feel the stress, anger, fear for a while after a meditation session but it’s actually a good thing as all those emotions need a release.

Shoulder blade squeeze

As I mention when promoting breathing exercises, I suggest people who are physically able to, as long as it’s safe for them, do the shoulder blade exercise at the beginning to open up the airways and make breathing easier and deeper.

⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️ Content Warning ⚠️⚠️ ⚠️

Some years ago, I read a fiction legal thriller series of books by Stephen Penner, for fun and learned an invaluable life tip. In one of the books, the medical examiner, character, Dr. Kat Anderson, explained that putting our arms back like that opens the chest cavity and helps us breathe better. In the book a woman was accidentally killed by her man while they were engaging in BDSM, a kink where they tie each other up and stuff; it looks and sounds violent but is usually safe and is one hundred percent consensual.

The characters were hooking up and he tied her arms back with her consent and he accidentally killed her. The doctor explained how she would have died sooner if not for her arms being tied back like that. The reason she died is he choked her (with her consent) and since her arms were back, she was breathing better so lived longer. I realized I can do that before meditations to make me breathe more deeply and just randomly throughout the day and then a professional fitness trainer told me the same thing, to do that all day, everyday. It aids in our breathing.

⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️END⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️

So put your arms straight at your sides then lift them to your waist, bend the elbows and squeeze shoulder blades for five seconds then loosen for a few seconds then do the same again however many sessions you see fit. Don’t shrug your shoulders while squeezing the shoulder blades. That isn’t necessary and may not be safe or effective.

This is only for people who can safely do this, don’t have pain or physical limitations, have arms…I understand this isn’t for everyone. I think the average person can do this though. Remember for counting seconds, 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi….I learned this is elementary school just saying one two three is less than a second so put the Mississippi after and it’s closest to one second. 😁

This song in the YouTube video above, Mozart: Canzonetta Sull’aria, is one of my favorite ones to meditate to. It’s beautiful and peaceful and scientifically shown to be one of the most relaxing songs on Earth. Weightless – ten hour version or Weightless – eight minutes version is the actual most relaxing (scientifically proven) and I love that one too. But this one is a bit too relaxing and can make us sleepy or go to sleep. I’m not always trying to go to sleep after meditation. Sometimes I’m meditating in the morning or afternoon or out walking or before work and Weightless isn’t a good idea those occasions. But it’s great right before sleep or if it doesn’t matter if we are sleepy.

When breathing, only the abdomen should move, not the chest. And breathing should always be inhaling through the nose with the stomach expanding and exhaling through the mouth with stomach deflating. It’s called diaphragmatic breathing and does matter. It’s the proper way to breathe, the most healthy, but most of us don’t breathe that way and our breathing is shallow. Diaphragmatic breathing is best for coping with pain and anxiety and just the healthiest in all of life.

Remember to breathe as slowly and deeply as possible, especially breathing out. It takes practice. And remember to gently bring your wandering mind back to breath. That takes practice too. Everyone without exception will have a wandering mind, even those experienced with meditation. It’s just the nature of the human mind. It’s not a flaw or something worthy of self criticism. It’s just important to catch it as best as we can because before we know it our allotted meditation time is over and was taken up daydreaming of our lunch later, or some task at work tomorrow, or stores we have to visit. Again, not a flaw! And not an indication that we aren’t good at mediation. It happens to everyone who tries to meditate or do breathwork. It’s just important to get into the habit of catching it as much as possible for mediation to be most effective.

Anyone who tries meditation or breathwork is successful. Just taking that step to better our own self and be better for those around us is an accomplishment.

Hugs, love, inner peace, and light to all! πŸ’—

Xoxo Kim

Got anxiety? πŸ’œ


Got anxiety? πŸ’œ

(Caution ⚠️ Someone messaged me and said this video I made triggers headaches in some so please watch with Caution or not at all if you have any health issues that may be triggerd – I did put a caution even before someone said that because things like this can trigger sensory issues and seizures in some and probably various other things as well)

Just watch this video I made with glitchlabapp , mirrorlabapp , and movee and take deep, slow breaths. Breathe in slowly, through the nose for four seconds (1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi) while the abdomen expands. Hold for seven seconds (1 Mississippi-7 Mississippi), then breathe out even more slowly, through the mouth, for eight seconds while the ab gets flat. Focus on breath and when the mind wanders, gently bring it back to breath. It will wander even for those experienced with meditation & breathwork. I would recommend bending your arms at the elbows and squeezing shoulder blades together if you’re physically able to and safely, before beginning the exercise. It opens up the airways/chest and makes breathing easier. Also, for those inexperienced, it’s easiest to lay down and hardest to be standing.

This often works instantly to calm down or feel a sense of inner peace, stop tremors, and heart racing, even if not done properly. Takes practice and persistence to get it down perfectly. But all it takes is a few seconds for results. May not work for everyone.

Anyone with sensory issues or seizure issues or any other extra/special needs maybe shouldn’t watch this video and anyone with physical limitations or pain maybe shouldn’t try the shoulder blade exercise. These things should only be done if you know you can do them safely.

Anxiety can be a fullblown disorder or just a mood we all experience on occasion throughout life. It can be mild to severe and can manifest in various ways, physical sensations, tremors, feelings of fear or panic, heart palpitations, difficulty sleeping, a deathly feeling…it’s different on different occasions and different for everyone and it’s never pleasant and is very, very common.

Sending love, peace, & light to all, xoxo πŸ’›πŸ•‰

I hope you are having a beautiful day or night wherever in the world you are!

Xoxo Kim

Up on the roofβ™‘

“I climb way up to the top of the stairs   and all my cares just drift right into space (up on the roof)                                              On the roof, it’s peaceful as can be…”

I hope you’re having a beautiful day or night wherever you are! Here’s an oldie n a goodie, for you!! I was up on the roof recently and captured some of the views surrounding me. There’s so much beauty all around us! Let’s always make the choice to cherish it all no matter what kind of day we are having!

πŸ˜€ β™‘

Up on the Roof – James Taylor -mobile

Desktop 

Much love & light to you, always….β™‘ 

xoxo, Kim

Mindfulness <3

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“Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment and nonjudgmentally.” ~ Jon Kabat-Zinn

Yeaaahh! There’s so many beautiful things to be mindful of and tune into using all the senses we have!

Especially this season! I love the holiday season! All the lovely fragrances and decor! This year it’s hot as hell in Philadelphia! It’s often freezing cold & snowing by now and this year people are still walking around in shorts! Walking to work today, it felt like Summer!

I love cold weather but at least with it so warm, work is opened more days. We often close for “bad” weather. And another great thing about warm temps is some flowers are still in bloom and Summer bugs haven’t all died off. I love those things!

One visited me tonight at work.

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What a beauty! They are green with clear green wings. If you can identify this beautiful creature, let me know, please! ❀

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It kind of sucks because we already had Spring & Summer this year! We don’t need another. But it’s still beautiful and I’m looking at the bright side!

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Much love to you!

xoxo Kim ❀

Uniformly Considerate

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“The habit of being uniformly considerate toward others will bring increased happiness to you.” ~ Grenville Kleiser

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I agree with this. I think it’s important to be mindful of others and how our words/actions may affect them, not just for what we get out of it but because it can help them be happier and put more love out into the world. ❀

It's a great reminder that I think most of us can use sometimes. It can be tempting to be thoughtless or rude on occasion, especially when other people are unpleasant first.

I found this quote in the book on my Kindle app, "Happiness 365." It's a whole book full of happy quotes!

Also, I love it because the authors dedicate their book to us & our happiness.

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I love when an author dedicates a book to people in general or certain people they don’t even know! ❀

Much love & happiness to you!

πŸ˜€ ❀

xoxo Kim