Tag Archive | open mindedness

Supreme Unchanging Friend <3

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“Kindness is not an act. It is a lifestyle ” 

Kindness can be an individual act but it can also evolve into a way of life if we work on it and practice. Recently, an incident inspired me to ponder this concept more and to write this. 

Someone on Facebook who I do not know and is not on my friend’s list and never was but is somehow still able to post on my content (which I don’t mind, I welcome everyone into my world, lol) has been writing uncalled for comments/messages  to me somewhat recently. She has done this months ago, disappeared, and then came back. It’s nothing completely vicious, no personal insults, but definitely sarcastic and utterly pointless. She posts these unpleasant comments on/sends these messages about multiple things I post/share, I share lots of inspirational posts which I know do not resonate with everyone but can apply to people in general, stuff like “kindness is best not just when it’s convenient but as a way of life” and quotes by Buddha and other enlightened/wise people, just various positive things by various people, and she posts things like “yeah because that’ll really work!” implying that it won’t and “yeaaah, I think I’ll just leave this advice at the curb…” “uhh good luck with that one!” “hmm, can’t wait to see where this one gets you!” “ugh! You mean people really feel this way?!”  “no. I think i’ll just put ME first!” “let’s see where all that kindness gets you in life…”

Lol

I’m just paraphrasing but this is basically what she writes to me. And as you can see, it really has no substance and no purpose or so it seems to me. 

 And she writes hostile insults about Buddhist people and Buddha and disagrees with the concept of universal love, which is definitely ok.
There’s nothing at all wrong with debating against a religion or philosophy or disagreeing but there’s no need for nonsensical, intentional insults or pointless bitter sarcasm. Some people are a fan of that but I’m sure as hell not! 

 She doesn’t just comment about Buddhist posts but on various ones. She advocates for always putting ourselves before everyone else. And while I disagree, it’s ok that she feels that way and disagrees with me. And ok that she states her opinions. Her opinions are no less worthy of being heard than my own.
She has no less of a privilege/right to state her opinions than I do.  And I’m not preachy or wanting to annoyingly lecture people.

 And I won’t always be right. I welcome different views. Even the ones I find less than appealing. 

But there’s no need to have a flippant mouth/tone. If we insist on posting on like every thing someone shares or writes just to disagree and sending messages to people just to criticize, we can at least have a more pleasant tone and cut out the sarcasm, which I don’t care for.  

Also, I really don’t see the point posting on stuff like this and sending e-mails/messages just to disagree unless we have something valuable to contribute. In my opinion, sarcasm, just to get at someone, is not valuable. By valuable, I mean having an effective or positive outcome or intention, helping someone see different points of views, challenging people to grow…not just being a smartass for the hell of it. I really don’t see the point. It doesn’t mean there isn’t one, I just don’t see it. 

I know we may have different ideas of the word “positive” and the word “valuable” and on different occasions, in different contexts, the concept of each word can shift or change. I am aware of that. But this is my concept of the words in this case.

Because her comments/messages are usually just one sentence sarcastic remarks, I usually ignore it because really what else can someone write back that would be constructive? It’s not like she’s debating with me and also being sarcastic and I can just ignore the sarcasm and debate with her in a civil way. It’s all it is is shallow sarcastic remarks. So there’s really not much to say. Maybe she’s stressed out or something and for whatever reason uses my Facebook account to blow off steam. Maybe my sappy love posts and public settings are inviting and she sees it as a safe place to relieve stress or anger by spewing sarcastic remarks? 
I’m understanding of that. And if it really is helping her in some deeper way than just trying to tick me off, I welcome it with open arms. It’s ok if she reduces her stress or anger at the expense of my account. That’s why I post things and write, to help people!  If anyone at all wants to use my inbox, comments section here, or on fb, or e-mail to vent and relieve stress or anger, or whatever and go off, please go ahead! I’m here to listen/read or just let you vent without judgment!  But I really don’t know what her deal is. 

“Kindness is the sunshine in which virtue grows.” ~
Robert Green Ingersoll

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I definitely wanted to write something rude back to her but that goes against everything I stand for. It was tempting after a while but I resisted. Also, how hypocritical would it be of me to post something unkind to someone on a post about being kind to everyone even when they do not deserve it! Lmao, the irony! But it sure was tempting! It would have actually been super hilarious because of how ironic it would be.  I was almost tempted to, just to be funny. Lol (like one day ages ago, when I wrote a blog post bragging about how I learned to put many pictures in one post and no pictures showed up after I hit the publish button! I was about to change it and put the pictures back on but I decided to keep it with no pics just because it was really funny and ironic how I said about all the pics on it, then NONE appeared! ) 

My main problem wasn’t just that she posted a rude comment but that she posted multiple ones and not once posted anything constructive or positive and the same for a few months ago when she appeared. It was like she just wanted to be an annoyance. 

I thought about writing something sarcastic but in a very subtle way. Something not obviously aggressive but gets my displeasure across to her in an implicit unkind way. But then I realized that’s also vicious and not loving. 

I began to have compassionate thoughts about her, at first forced. “Fake it ’til you make it!” it’s not really being “fake” but a genuine attempt to evolve into deeper compassion. It doesn’t mean being kind to someone’s face then bashing that person in a gossipy way later to someone else or on an fb status or blog post. 

I was a bit annoyed at her one night before falling asleep, but forced myself to have loving thoughts for her. It can be so hard! Not as hard for me as for some because along with being naturally inclined to being loving and overly easy going even when people are being difficult, I am a mindful, intentional universal love practitioner and Lovingkindness meditator. But it can still be difficult sometimes.  But I forced it while also admitting in my own head that I am displeased.

This is not repression or being “fake” but practicing Lovingkindness to become genuinely more loving and kind to everyone, all living, sentient beings, everywhere.

 Then I woke up and felt nothing but warm compassion and love for her. I realize she’s prone to suffering and death, loss and pain and tragedy just like me. Just like everyone.  At any moment she can be struck with an illness, a bullet, a cluster headache, a heart attack…just like I can and then will any of the nonsense matter anymore? Why not love her instead?

 She was once an innocent baby and will at one point be a very old person who is even more susceptible to unpleasant circumstances like disease, death, pain… And just like me, she has hopes, happiness, concerns, goals, dreams, interests, joy, love….a life and a breath. A story. A song. A name. 

This deepened my compassion even more. Her suffering and pain is no less than mine and her happiness and wellbeing are no less important than mine. I realized I do not want to inflict any kind of anger, unhappiness, pain, annoyance..or whatever, upon her with rude comments back even if she wants to inflict any of that upon me. And if she’s a troll who was merely pursuing negative attention in return for hers then it would just be perpetuating it. That ultimately does no good in my opinion.  And if she’s suffering or stressed and is taking it out on my account then she needs love, not rudeness back. 

“Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.” ~
Og Mandino

I was able to take advantage of this amazing experience to strengthen my habit/way of life/philosophy to always be kind even in the face of the unkindness and bitterness of others. It was the perfect opportunity to “practice what I preach.” 

She challenged me and the way of life that I advocate for and try to live, not just with her opposing views but the way she chose to go about stating her views, by actually acting in an unpleasant way, actually BEING an example, tempting me to give in and give up on my philosophy of life.

 It’s usually harder to be kind and loving when someone is actually being rude and bitter than when the person is just opposing my views with views I find to be distasteful. And it’s so much harder to be kind and loving when a person in reality is being rude and bitter than just an imaginary scenario in my head. I can think in my head and write/say that if people act rudely I will still be kind but when I am faced with the situation for real, not just in my head, in theory, in writing, or in imagination, it is usually much harder. She’s not the first person I have encountered who acts rudely in person or online. And she won’t be the last.  So each unpleasant seeming encounter I experience can be my teacher and my chance to practice universal Lovingkindness. 

This opportunity is so convenient and so “perfect,” it briefly occurred to me that she may have actually intentionally been trying to teach me, challenge me, help me strengthen, test my life philosophy by acting this way. It’s a kind of irony that she may have noticed if she’s exceptionally wise. I don’t think it’s the case though, it just crossed my mind. I know that many years ago, I used to argue against some people’s views, like political, religious, or philosophical, who I completely agreed with just to try to strengthen both of our arguments. They did not know I actually agreed with them and was just acting. I’m not saying it’s a good thing, it’s kind of shady and seems a bit trollish, maybe? But it did help my debating skills and maybe theirs. 

But she probably wasn’t doing this. 

I am very thankful for the experience and deeper wisdom I have come to experience as a result of this encounter with this person. She is my teacher. And I really do have compassion and love for her. Not in a way to provoke her to be unhappy, to “kill with kindness” in a passive aggressive way just because I know she doesn’t want my kindness and love. She seems to be an advocate for aggression and hostility so she may not appreciate my love. But because that’s what I am and want to continue to be and be even better and better at. I won’t intentionally use my love to annoy her by expressing it to her.  I’m ignoring her but in my head I wish the best for her and if she ever comments something that seems worth responding to, even if I disagree or it’s negative or rude, I will be pleasant in my response, not aggressive in an explicit or subtle way. I’m not going to sarcastically, excessively, “kill with kindness” but actually BE kind. She may or may not like it but I can’t help what she likes or not. It’s not my place to control her and I don’t want to anyway. I will not intentionally try to annoy her. It’s all I can do. 

Also,

I don’t judge people negatively, who disagree with my Way and think it’s better to lash out at those who are rude or post/say uncalled for things. It’s true I advocate for and try to live with kindness as a way of life but I still am compassionate and usually understanding for those who hold other views and live differently. Not always, I make mistakes too and do/say things that are better not said or done. 

Sometimes when people hold certain views or live certain ways, they try to make others who disagree or live differently, feel unsettled or try to act like their morals are above everyone else’s. Have you ever met a “health freak” who only consumes organic food and works out like everyday and tries to make you feel like a lazy slob for not exercising and for eating junk all day? Or a vegetarian who tries to make you feel like you are less compassionate than that person is or like you are cruel for eating meat? Or a pro life advocate who acts like s/he lives with better morals than you or is more loving or trustworthy than you if you’re pro choice or had an abortion? Or acts like you’re a murderer? Lol Or a pro choice advocate who tries to intimidate you into thinking you are cruel or anti-woman or not for equality or women’s rights if you are pro life? Or like you’re a selfish control freak who tries to run people’s lives? Or a prudish person who acts like you live a very immoral life if you’re promiscuous? Or a very educated person with an advanced school degree who arrogantly acts like you or your education or lack of education is/are inferior to that person? Or a religious person who acts like that person is somehow above you with better morals and is more trustworthy than an atheist or a condescending atheist who acts like s/he is more intelligent or reasonable than you if you are a person who believes in g/ods? Or a person with a lot of money who acts like s/he’s better than those with less? Or a working class/jobless person who tries to guilt trip you for having money and having fun with it and having three family cars while “kids in Africa are starving?” or a Republican/Conservative who thinks you’re a barbarian with no morals and no brain  if you’re a Liberal. Or a Democrat/Liberal who claims you’re a heartless, sexist, racist, fascist, homophobic monster who only cares about rich people and corporations, or parents who act superior to other parents who bring up their kids differently…

Certainly not all people in the groups I mentioned above do this but some do and it can be awkward to be around them when they act superior like this. 
And it can be awkward even being around them when they aren’t like this because we may assume they are judging us for having opposing views or a different way of living. 

“Kindness is a gift everyone can afford to give.” 

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Some people may become defensive and angry around them and some may feel that they have to justify their own lifestyle or views over and over or like they have to conceal it around certain people.

I am a vegetarian (for the animals, not for me) and have been for over a decade but I’m not going to throw ketchup on your fur coat or throw fire into science labs and throw wet dog food all over the cars of scientists who test on animals and I’m not going to assume I am more compassionate or love animals more than meat eaters. And I won’t go all apeshit if you eat a real hotdog in front of me. I have had people tell me sorry over and over for not being a vegetarian or for eating meat while in my presence even when I wasn’t saying a word or even thinking something negative about those people. Who the hell am I that I must be apologized to or have to have things justified to me? Lol And sometimes I have felt a bit guilty even though I wasn’t intentionally trying to make them feel uncomfortable or guilty. 

 I usually never even tell people anymore that I don’t eat meat unless it comes up somehow. When I was a girl and very young woman, I did used to be in people’s faces with my vegetarian views and other views and I was arrogant about it, and then I grew up, fortunately. 
Some occasions I was the arrogant one trying to inflict guilt and anger on others and other occasions I was the one feeling the need to justify my views and say “sorry” just for being a certain way.  
But usually, neither one of those is necessary for any of us.

No matter what side of an issue we support or how we live, someone can make us out to be a monster or to be dumb or say horrible things about us. Even if we’re not so bad. Some opinions really do suck. And some opinions probably are better left unstated even though we have the right/privilege to state them, it doesn’t mean we have to. 

 But really none of us are better no matter what our views are or way of living is like. I’m not better than people who do what I mentioned above. I understand that many of us do often feel that our way of living, our lifestyle, our views…are best, that’s why we live and believe how we do. But we don’t have to act like we are better than anyone else. We can judge opinions or actions without judging the person as a whole. Judging isn’t necessarily wrong. It’s how we go about it that matters, in my opinion. But of course, I’m not telling people how they should live or act or talk or be. I’m just sharing  my opinion and giving suggestions. People can give me suggestions as well! It’s good to help each other open to different ideas. 

“Be polite to others, not because they are polite but because you are.” ❤

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I may be going off on a bit of a tangent but somehow I feel that it ties into my original topic. When I was writing about not judging and about being kind, I felt that it may be coming off as preachy and that isn’t my intention so I got into all that. 

I never want anyone to feel awkward around me if we have different views or ways of living. I don’t even want people who tend to act overly judgmental sometimes, like the ones I mention above, to feel awkward around me because I advocate for being not too judgmental. Also, like I said, I myself have done some of the things above. I learn more and more each day and practice more and more to be as loving as I can be. Like the Buddha, as mentioned in the Buddhist Liberating prayer (http://kadampa.org/buddhism/prayer-to-buddha), I want to be a “supreme unchanging friend” and “love all beings without exception” no matter what. And I will practice and learn and love as much as I can. 

I love the idea of “supreme unchanging friend.” Imagine having a friend you know without a doubt will be right here waiting to warmly embrace you no matter what you do or have done, a friend who will never judge you as the person you are even when you are wrong, stupid, cruel, even if you do something terrible to that friend. A person who will help guide you in life, in a loving way, not a condescending way, maybe judge your actions if they are seriously detrimental but never you. 

You can “steal” her/his husband, stab him/her in the back, betray that person, disappear for years, kill someone, even try to kill that friend! But s/he will be right here waiting with open arms when you want to come home again! She’ll meet you anywhere at any part of the day. She’ll answer your phone call at 4:00 in the morning, drive or take a bus to meet you across the city at 10:00 at night, miss a day of work to sit and soothe you when you are in pain, hug you when you are lonely, take you out for lunch when you’re having a bad day even if you just said cruel insults about her or betrayed her in some way…

There’s only one thing in this life I want more than to have a friend like that. That one thing is to BE that friend to others. And “friend” doesn’t necessarily have to mean a personal friend you hang out with but just someone who is always here when you want someone. This friend can be a teacher, a family member, an acquaintance, a neighbor, a homeless person, a religious person who teaches you, a monk or nun, a rabbi, or priest or minister, a coworker, your mamma,…. anyone.
Mothers in general and pets are inherently like this. We can look up to them. 

Many people see this friend as a pushover who is stupid or naive and let’s people get over on her/him. But it runs deeper than that. It’s about true love, not about fear or longing or need or attachment. It’s not about being too stupid to realize or fear of saying no or needing to be accepted by the ones who call on us.  It’s about genuine love for others. Selfless love with absolutely zero expectations. 

I hope you have that friend but even more, I hope one day you will BE that friend to others or at least just to one person. And even if we can’t or won’t be this way to this extreme, at least maybe we can keep reminding ourselves that it’s better to be kind than to be shown kindness, sweeter to love than to be loved, greater to accept, understand, and help than to be accepted, be understood, and be helped.
It’s better to be betrayed than to betray, better to be bullied than to be the bully. Better to be stabbed in the back than to be the backstabber. Better to trust and then be deceived or broken or betrayed than to never trust or take chances. Better to love and be crushed than never love. 

We can’t control what others are and do, say, or think, and it’s not our place to anyway. But we can help what we are and what we do, and I hope we will all be the best we can be in each moment and forgive ourselves and each other when we’re not. 

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Some occasions it may be better not to be “soft” or “warm” but to be more assertive and to say what people may not want to hear. To stand our ground, say no, and criticize in a constructive way even if people are angry. The Buddhist concept of “offering the victory,” letting others often be “right” even when they aren’t and giving in, letting everyone else go first, it’s a great way to live in general but sometimes, at least in my opinion, we do have to speak up and be more assertive, maybe even a bit aggressive at some points, but that’s not necessarily unkind or rude. Sometimes “a kick in the ass” and clearly saying “NO!” is more compassionate than warmth and giving in. But often, I think gentleness is good. ❤

If we want to see more kindness, love, and light around us and all over the world, let’s BE kindness, love, and light everywhere we are. 
It likely won’t change the entire world but it will be a start and at least put a little bit more light around us and can inspire others to do the same. Even if we alone can’t change the whole uni-verse, we can change our own little corner of the world for the better and inspire others along the way. Then who knows?! Maybe together we CAN change the whole world for the better! 

I’m wishing you much love today & always and I hope you’re having a lovely day or night wherever you are! ❤

😀

Xoxo Kim ❤

Beauty, Acceptance, Diversity, Awakening

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❤ I was blind but now I see. ❤

“Always be a little kinder than necessary. ” ~ J. M. Barrie
I am really loving how compassionate, accepting, tolerant, open-minded and loving I have become. I have always been someone who is open-minded and accepting of others, their views, and diversity. I have always been loving and not at all likely to reject a person as a friend because of a difference in perspective, attitude, or view, or because of mistakes or decisions that person made that I disagree with. Even when strongly disagreeing with one another. 

But there are occasions I have been or felt unkind, unfriendly, arrogant, bitter, or timid, or unhappy, meek, or just negative, uncomfortable,  or hostile over differences in opinion on certain topics or how the opinion was presented.  I was never cruel or outright horrible to people over disagreements and I wouldn’t reject a friend or potential friend but on too many occasions I liked that “us and them” or “us vs them” feeling. Now, I can’t even imagine why.   Now, I always want us to all be in this together, working together, no matter what differences we encounter, for a better world, a better life for us all. 

There have been occasions for almost as long as I can remember where I felt that I was lacking in personality because I have this ability to understand both sides of a debate or argument so thoroughly even if I strongly agree with one and not the other.  I can still see how someone else can feel that way. Even when I would argue or debate taking one side, I can still feel for the other. It’s like that with almost every political and philosophical topic I can think of and in personal arguments that I witness, hear of, read, or engage in.

Now I see this as a gift.  As a unique personality trait.  I have been told that I have the priceless gift, the uncanny ability to understand so deeply, and just “know” things about people, to deeply see the heart of the matter, to feel for all sides and angles, to empathize with my opponents and with people and other sentient beings, in general.

And now I’m even more this way. This natural gift is stronger.  And with conscious intention and work, I can develop it even more.

There will always be disagreements.

Some people will be wrong.

Maybe some things will never be resolved but we can choose kindness, love, compassion, and understanding as opposed to cruelty, rejection, unkindness…

Usually, when I would be bitter, it wasn’t even over a disagreement itself but the way people would present their opinion, their attitude, or way of speaking/writing. When someone would have an “in your face,” defensive, rebellious, or negative attitude, I was more ready to be hostile where when someone would be civil, gentle, accepting, I was more ready to be kind and friendly even when strongly disagreeing. 

But someone else’s unkindness or cruelty does not necessarily justify my unkindness or cruelty. No need to perpetuate that.  I prefer to perpetuate love and lavish love and kindness on others.   Sometimes the cruelest and most unkind people may need it the most.

 I have come to realize more and more that it’s ok to have strongly opposing views, it’s still possible to get along well with those who strongly oppose my views, love, compassion, acceptance is more important.  Opposing a view does not mean opposing a person. I can overlook disagreements or even see the beauty in them.

Sometimes I have felt guilty when I would have a certain opinion on a topic and then meet someone I really liked who would have an opposite view.  I felt like I was doing that person wrong.  Like I was offending…hurting..

But other occasions I was at the other end. Feeling arrogant, pompous, full of myself, telling myself I was holding the better view, the “right” view and I was the one offended, the “victim,” the reasonable one.

Now…

I have been seeing beauty in things much more than I used to and in things I never thought I would see beauty in. People who have the courage to speak up and advocate for themselves and their views whether or not I agree with their views, certain kinds of selfishness(the word “selfish” tends to have negative connotations but isn’t always a bad thing), things shattering so better things can fall into place, realizing I was wrong all along and admitting it and evolving into something better.  At one point I was so mortified when an opinion of mine would change or I would realize I was initially wrong, either incorrect or morally wrong. 

I did not want to admit that I held an inaccurate or “wrong” view.   But changing an opinion based on truly realizing that the old opinion in some way is wrong either morally or factually/logically, admitting it, and moving forward is a sign of great strength, growth, and is worthy of admiration.   According to Roman Stoic Philosopher, Gaius Musonius Rufus, we should study Philosophy and it should affect us personally and profoundly and when a philosopher lectures, his words should make those in his audience shudder. They should experience feelings of contrition or rue.  Instead of applauding the philosopher, the audience should be reduced to silence. (source, Epictetus, “Discourses,” III.xxiii.29.)

In awe and embarrassment for not knowing and now coming to know. It’s not a bad thing.

I find myself more and more “liking” comments on places like Facebook even when I disagree with them because I can still see a kind of beauty in them or because I am grateful for being introduced to a new perspective or point of view or because I find it fascinating or it gets me thinking. I don’t have to agree to like or accept it.  Or to like and accept the person who holds that view.

Charlotte Davis Kasl, Ph.D., in her book “Finding Joy,” writes 

“We have a great deal of division in this world that dictates who you are allowed to love at a personal, intimate level. Black-white, Protestant-Catholic, Muslim-Hindu, Jewish -Palestinian are a few of the many divisions people are taught not to cross.
Fortunately, people ‘s deeper level of spirituality allows them to fall in love and in doing so break down these barriers.”
And this :
“Because love and joy are so totally intertwined, bringing joy to the planet means supporting all love between all people on the planet. Part of the consciousness of joy is realizing we are all more alike than different. The desire to belong,be respected, live free of fear, work with dignity and purpose, and find joy are common to all people.   Of course we all have different customs, histories, and traditions, but when we reach deep enough, we will find the commonalities and in doing so find joy.
Every time we cross a barrier, we build a bridge. And as we build bridges on the outside, we heal the division within us. As a result, we all have more territory to walk on, and more people to love, and more peace on the planet. “
 (p. 130-1)

Isn’t this beautiful?! 

And it’s true. It’s not to say we should ignore differences, just accept or cherish them.   Love anyway.   We can acknowledge diversity but accept it, love it, promote it..

liberal-conservative, pro-life-pro-choice, Democrat -Republican, rich -poor, atheist-theist….love anyway. We can debate, argue, disagree and love still.   Love deeper. 

Still respect.
Show some level of understanding.

It’s true, some people are wrong, either morally, factually, logically…but we can still love.  Platonic or romantic love.  Still accept.  Still cherish. Still embrace.

It won’t always be easy. But it’s possible.
I won’t project my standards or morals onto others assuming that because they act differently than I would have in a certain situation, that they must be less loving, caring, compassionate…than I am.

They can be just as loving and caring as I am. We all have convictions and reasons for making certain choices, coming to certain conclusions, having certain views.  No person is better than another. I believe people in general are basically good, with good intentions, some more good than others.

Also, we don’t have to like everyone or want to be around everyone or be friends with everyone we meet.   That’s unrealistic and not necessary.  But when we do meet someone we really like or love, a potential friend or lover, or we must be around certain people, we don’t have to not like them or abandon or reject them based on distasteful differences.   If I love/like you, and then find out you strongly oppose my views or you did something horrible, made mistakes or that you feel I have made horrible mistakes…you will still hold my heart.

There are things about me people don’t or won’t like also.   And who am I to negatively/hostilely judge?   Some people have lousy attitudes, discriminatory views and are just detrimental to be around and it’s ok to avoid them but we don’t have to avoid or lash out at every person who we disagree with.

I have been seeing opinions I once would have been absolutely appalled by, maybe even ready to lash out, and sink to insults or a vitriolic attitude or tone and even now start to feel a sense of distress but it often quickly melts to compassion, mellows out to understanding that that person who holds that view is not me and has a reason, has experiences, ways of thinking for holding those views just as I do for having other views.  That’s a person first.  A person who is no less than I am.

I can understand to a certain extent even if I cannot possibly know how someone else feels. I never claim to exactly know, just deeply understand as much as I possibly can for someone who is not that person and has not experienced what that person has.

Some opinions seem to really suck and are offensive but I can break through.  I am so enlightened now in ways I haven’t been previously, in some ways that can’t even be explained, only felt.

And there’s room for growth and always will be. No matter how enlightened and “whole” I am or become, there will always, always be room and opportunities for further evolution of the self as long as I’m living. And I now see the beauty in that fact. There was a day when I wanted to be whole and fully enlightened and know all there is to know, experience all there is to experience, and be perfect and felt incomplete and seriously unhappy about it but now I see beauty in incompleteness, in the unknown, in all that is to come.

Where some people see mistakes or flaws, where I once saw mistakes, flaws, wrongs…I see creativity, deftness, beauty, strength, opportunities for growth, for progress.

Yes, I am humbled.  And I bask in this humility.

Much love to you.

“Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.” ~

Benjamin Franklin

Xoxo Kim

Creativity – Don’t Hold Back!!! :-D

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I have been feeling this creative energy just surging through me like never before and have no idea why! Lol! I have never considered myself to be creative and have always felt a kind of block when attempting to think or act creatively.   I’m better at research/academic/analytical stuff. 

I have often put off doing things I either knew or assumed I wouldn’t be good at.   I would try it and quit right away.  I know that’s not a good idea and is a self imposed creative block. First of all, if it’s fun and interesting to you, it doesn’t matter if you’re good at it or not.

Also there’s a chance you will become better with practice.  Creativity doesn’t just have to be things like drawing and writing. It can be things like problem solving and thinking about things at different angles and with different perspectives.

I have noticed I am more creative now in writing poetic -like writings and with problem solving. People have sometimes told me I have a poetic way of speaking, which comes naturally to me but I’m not so sure I have ever been great at writing actual poetry or stories. But I feel more creative than ever now!   I have been trying to analyze why this is and one thing I think is, it may have to do with increased confidence in other areas. Confidence in one aspect of life can permeate to every other aspect, which is very good!

I have been meditating upon the concept of “When one door closes, another opens.”. That is a creative way of thinking.   Instead of dwelling on what is lost, we can use the experience to make way for better things.

If we allow it, it can help us look at things differently.   I used to often, and sometimes still do, dwell on previous pain and struggles, allowing them to hold me back and imprison me. But more and more I have been using them as resources to guide me and strengthen me.

So I believe this is contributing to my general creativity enhancement.  Also, I have been posting here in this blog much more frequently than ever. I have said before, I have always been so inspired to write but often felt too fatigued to put much thought into things. I consume too much sugar and it tends to make me sluggish.  Also depression can make me fatigued, sluggish, like a zombie.

But I have made some minor lifestyle changes such as stretches more frequently which help with fatigue and so I have more energy to put thought into what I write here and that helps me be more creative all around.   It’s like strengthening my “creative muscle.”. Also I have come to sometimes allow my depression itself to inspire me by looking at it in various ways other than just cursing it.  This is hard but can sometimes be accomplished. 

Sometimes now, instead of succumbing to my bed or the floor in a depression, I create a blog post with something positive to focus on!

I let it inspire new ideas, coping mechanisms, and other things in me.

Also, I have been giving in and not holding back. When I feel like writing poetically or creatively I do no matter how much I think it will suck. Lol. This gets my creative juices flowing.

One problem I recently had is somehow my phone service got switched over to Android. I have a Blackberry, never an Android. But someone switched it in the T-Mobile system and it took my phone’s Internet away. This is a permanent switch. It can often be fixed just by the phone service people switching it in their system but sometimes that won’t work. To spare you many boring and confusing details I will just say it did not work and my phone needs a Master reset which will permanently delete all my photos, songs, writings, everything.  And even that may not bring my Internet service back to this phone.

I can back it up on a computer but currently have no computer Internet so that’s out of the question.   I tried writing stuff on paper but it’s overwhelming. I have so much amazing stuff on here! Lol

But I kept calm. I was disappointed but not angry. I know someone just made a mistake and there are way worse things than losing files on a phone no matter how amazing they are.

But because of all my creative thinking /acting lately, I thought of a “solution ” and although my phone isn’t fixed and I can’t get on the net using the browser icon on my home screen, I thought of another way to get on the net.  It’s more complicated but it’s a way!  I found two ways actually.  So thankful!   

 I think I’ll keep it this way for now. There’s a chance I may need a new phone and eventually lose everything but for now I will do what I can to keep it.   And feel gratitude in the process for everything I have and am.

I decided to compose a list of tips that I find helpful for enhancing creativity since I am a creative genius now. Lol jk. I’m nothing of that sort! ;-). But I’m in the process of learning and would love to share.

To enhance your creativity maybe these will help:

1.) Don’t let lack of or perceived lack of skills or talent hold you back. This is probably the most crucial tip. You will never know how great you can be or what you can accomplish or attain if you never try. Keep trying.   Maybe your drawing, writing, painting…..whatever it is you want to do will suck but so what? And if you don’t want to, you don’t have to show it to any one. Don’t hold back!  Channel your inner child. Lose your inhibitions, your fears, your feelings of things being only for children or only for professional people.

2.) Explore. Reflect. Look deep within you. This can be done with meditation of some sort or  reflective thinking. Think about how you feel right now or how you feel or have felt about certain things. Write a poem about it. Draw a picture representing it. Make a collage.   Go to stores, flip through magazines and see what jumps out at you. Last night I was having great difficulty sleeping and felt the urge to write poetry but felt not inspired enough. So I thought deeply about how I felt at that very moment and how I feel about certain situations and people and was suddenly so inspired to write poetically/creatively.

3.) Look at song titles, blog post titles, and other titles like of books and write a poem or short story about that concept without copying the other person’s work. You can just look at them randomly without even reading or listening to the content.

4.) Try hard to understand a view opposing your own on a certain topic or try to see how someone else can feel that way even though you do not. This stretches your “mind” and gets you outside the “box.”

5.) Look to others for inspiration. Pay close attention to other creative work. See what you like, don’t like, what challenges you…and start your own creative journey. I would suggest to consciously try not to rip of their work though.  You probably want yours to be original and probably don’t want a lawsuit. Lol

6.) Take pictures and look at pictures! It’s amazing what photographs can elicit. You can make the photos themselves your creative project or write poems about them! Don’t reserve picture taking for only “special occasions.”. All occasions are special.

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7.) Inhabit your body, be mindful of your senses and how things feel to you, the experience of experiencing. Write or draw about the experience. Write or draw using your senses for inspiration.   What’s does something feel like, sound like, look or taste or smell like? Use imagery in your writing. Try to paint a vivid picture or image in the heads of your readers or viewers or listeners. Use your imagination/fantasy as well as reality.

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I wrote the quote in the picture and I took the pic and put the quote onto it.

Here’s an example of something I recently wrote as part of a poetic-like short story:

“She stands alone with just the stars in the palms of her hands and the moonlight streaking her long flowing hair, meadows painted across her sky blue eyes, butterflies & sparkles woven through her lashes.”
& this: 

“And I watch
Chromatic
Florets 
Bloom
Into the vibrant blue
A fluorescence
Of tranquil tunes
As pastel colored
Butterflies 
Parade
Like a
Slow song
Around the
Floral
Array
In the air”
This is part of a poem I wrote a while ago.

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The line in the pic above is one I wrote as part of a poem and the picture is mine which I took and out the quote on it.
and here’s another of my creations:

image

8.) Put some color and design into your world. Surround yourself with bright or soothing colors, various colors and designs…

9.) Try new things to get your brain stimulated. Brush your teeth using your non dominant hand, go for a walk in a place you don’t go to much, drive to work a different route.

10.). Pay attention to kids. They are fearless when it comes to creative projects. Take their lessons to heart. This kind of hinges on Tip #1.

11.) Let other people inspire you, not intimidate you. There are people out there with more developed or stronger skills than you and with more experience. There always will be.  Don’t let this discourage you.  Just be content with where you are. You don’t have to be the best at anything. Focus on your needs and desires. Some people are more experienced so have better skills. Some are just naturally more creative or skilled. And that’s ok. Be grateful you have come across them and their work as opposed to being so envious you can’t see straight.   Jealousy is normal and it’s ok but don’t let it hold you back or make you have animosity for others.

12.) Be willing to create or do things which are or may be viewed as “bizarre ” or “weird” or “unusual” by others. “Thinking outside the box” can get that creativity flowing.

13.) Keep going even when you doubt yourself. And keep going even when your creative work doesn’t turn out how you expected or hoped!

14.) Try looking at things which are usually considered ugly, plain, unattractive, in a more positive light. You can write poems about sadness and pain or take pictures of or draw bare trees, muddy puddles, car oil puddles, snow blizzards, insects…things often seen as miserable. I believe there is beauty almost everywhere if we really look and you can take something typically considered not beautiful and put a beautiful spin on it, poetically, lyrically, artistically…

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15.) Try meditation specifically to get creativity energy flowing.   You can go to http://www.meditationoasis.com/
And you can go to http://www.youtube.com/
And put in words like “meditation for creativity.”. I would include some links here to videos but I’m using my phone and can only get the mobile link and I never know if that works for anyone else. 

Here are two links that are supposed to go to the same video. One is for a computer and one is for mobile phones. I somehow managed to get the desktop link. If it works for others though, I have no clue.   Both links work for me when I click on them.

Computer link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&persist_app=1&v=CPrk4_JFA90

Mobile link
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CPrk4_JFA90

Also here is a list of tips I found:  http://www.creativitypost.com/create/101_tips_on_how_to_become_more_creative

I hope you are having a beautiful day or night and hope you find some creative inspiration if it’s what you’re searching for.   😀

Xoxo Kim 😀