Our Purpose

“Be your own purpose.”

This is a great reminder out of the Kindle book I love “365 Wisdom Pills.”

Sometimes we may feel that things outside of our own self give us purpose like other people, money, things, our job, certain skills we have….or that without certain things, we have no purpose, but we are our own purpose for living. 

People say things often like find your purpose or your life’s purpose and live it. At first this may seem all inspiring or motivational but truly think about it? It can be kind of degrading. 

I don’t believe we each have a specific purpose. Suppose we think our purpose is to get married and then that person leaves us?

Then what? We have no purpose? What if we feel our purpose is a certain hobby like running or traveling then we become paralyzed or too sick to travel or run? Then we suddenly become purposeless? Or what if our “purpose” is to help others in a certain way then we suffer some loss and can’t? What if you’re a surgeon then you suffer an injury or lose your practice or license or something? Then you have no reason to exist?!

What if we become confined to a chair, paralyzed at the neck down and can’t even turn our head? There are people like that! And some are very happy! There’s a lady who is a painter and can paint with a brush in her mouth and she’s like the happiest person! She cannot move most of her body and she’s so happy and so full of purpose. I don’t know much about her but my dad told me about her years ago. We did not know her personally. He used to carry a picture of one of her paintings in his wallet to remind himself that it’s possible to be happy and love life no matter what. Her ability to paint isn’t what gives her purpose. She is a living, sentient being who exists. That’s her purpose.

And what about people who have severe brain damage or were born with complications and can’t feed themselves? They can’t walk or hardly talk or anything, yet they have purpose. No less than I do. And they are happy too. They can smile and look around and feel. I used to walk by a school for children like this, with extra needs, when I was walking to class in college. They were in wheelchairs, some with feeding tubes and oxygen and I saw them smile and make contact with people helping them and walking by. 

It’s like cruelty to claim that someone like this has less of a reason to live than anyone else! And some people do claim that!  

I don’t feel sorry for people with disabilities or brain damage as long as they are alive. I don’t feel sorry for mothers who give birth to extra needs children. Those people don’t need and probably do not want my sympathy or sorrow. They are a blessing and I have compassion for them just like I have for anyone else. They are not necessarily suffering and are not without purpose. And even through our suffering, we have purpose. 

When I was a young girl in middle and high school, I made my whole “purpose” to be about getting good grades. I did not have perfect grades but I got honor roll every semester. I frequently felt that I had no reason to live. But I reminded myself that I did have a reason to live, I got good grades! Then one day I got my report card and got a C in math! I seriously contemplated killing myself after school that day. I was really going to then lost the nerve. Not that suicide takes true courage, it does take some kind of fearlessness or determination but that’s not true courage. True courage is choosing to live even when it’s so hard. But whatever was giving me the balls to kill myself, suddenly dissipated when I got the chance. That has happened frequently. 

Not everyone who feels like there’s no purpose wants to kill themselves but it’s an unpleasant, painful way to live!

So it’s good if we can all realize that our purpose is us. We don’t need anything else to give us a reason. It’s great to have passions, interests, goals, plans, people….but they aren’t our reason for living.

Hugs & love to you! ❤

😀

Xoxo Kim 

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Love Out Loud

“Always leave the world a little better than you found it.”

To me, one of the greatest joys of living is helping others, making things go more smoothly for anyone I can.

There are many simple ways to help people all throughout everyday. Simple things that have a great impact. We don’t have to have a certain job or anything to help out. There are endless opportunities in every day. ❤

There are ways to help people that will go unnoticed by everyone but the person helping but if these simple things are not done, it will be noticed.

You may think something along the lines of “Why even do this when no one will even know? Not even the person being helped will know!” But if you don’t, people will be affected in an unpleasant way.

For example, seeing milkcrates or boxes in the middle of a street with no one else around. If you move those crates or boxes away so people in cars can more easily drive by, there’s a very good chance no one will ever know someone was kind enough to move them. They never knew they were there in the first place. They’ll just drive by without ever knowing. They can’t bask in the joy or gratitude of knowing someone helped them because they don’t know someone did help them.

But if we don’t help by moving those boxes or crates, they will know they’re there. They’ll have to stop, get out of their cars and move them themselves. Or worse, they’ll crash into them, not paying attention. They will feel the impact of the hassle they have encountered. So there really is a purpose to doing simple things that will go unnoticed when the tasks are completed. If they’re not completed, they will be noticed so why not make things easier for people in general whenever we can?! We’re generally under no obligation to help make things easier for people, and if you don’t it doesn’t make you a horrible person, but it’s still fantastic to help anyway!

I don’t need credit or to be paid back in anyway whatsoever. Helping people is enough. I was thinking about this concept one day at work, recently, and it always brings me joy to think this way but I’m always unprepared for the immensity and the depth of the joy that hits me and flows through me, tingling in my bones when I think this way. It’s breathtaking.

The thrill of all the possibilities we have, all the chances we can take, to help anyone we
 can in big and small ways. It’s exhilarating!

Even if it’s just eye contact with and a pleasant smile to a stranger, giving someone your seat on a bus or a waiting room, not judging distressed and overworked parents with screaming kids in a crowded place when everyone else is repulsed and giving them disgusted looks, actively listening to someone with a genuine interest in understanding instead of just listening to deliver an appropriate sounding response, being a loyal friend, adopting a pet and giving him/her a loving furever home, paying for someone in back or in front of you in line at a store, writing little love notes with inspirational quotes or messages and leaving them in random places for anyone to find, being extra patient with the stressed cashiers in busy stores, holding your tongue when you feel like lashing out at someone, trying hard to understand someone else’s situation that you never experienced for yourself, the opportunities are infinite.

Sometimes I think of all the ways I may have been helped by some kind stranger through the years, never even knowing it, never saying thank you because I never had the chance. All the puddles I never sat in on busses because someone dried them before I had a chance to sit in them, all the gum that never got stuck in my long hair on public seats somewhere because someone cared to remove it before someone’s hair or clothes got destroyed, the objects that were removed out of aisles of stores, off of pavements, and out of streets before I tripped over them not paying attention, I think of the houses and stores that never got broken into, the people who never got snatched off the streets because someone cared enough to call the police and scare the person away/catch the suspicious person.

I remember one day I was texting while crossing a bus terminal to get onto a bus and stepped in front of another bus, speeding at me, not paying attention. It was more than just a “close call.” I was nearly hit. And so was one of the men who saved me. The bus driver hit the horn but couldn’t stop fast enough. And it was speeding fast. Two men yelled and risked their own lives to save mine. Men I never saw before that day and never saw again. They did not know each other or me. They saw it turn and coming my way when I did not. They both jumped out into the street, one pulling me, the other pushing me. The one actually put his body in front of the bus to push me out of the way, almost falling on top of me to get us both out of the way. If they weren’t at the bus stop that day I probably wouldn’t be here today. Or I would be physically damaged. They did not know who I am but they know that I’m someone. They never knew my name, my values or opinions, my story, my personality, my interests or anything about me other than the fact that I exist. But they clearly valued my life that moment as much as their own, disregarding anything else about me.

Because of that I never look at my phone or anything while crossing a street. Ever. Not once since that day a few years ago, have I even briefly glanced at my phone while crossing even small streets with no traffic. Even when I’m really into something on my phone when I get to a street I act like the phone doesn’t exist. I honor their heroic act.

While I felt immense gratitude I was mortified. It was so stupid to be texting while crossing a busy street/bus terminal. I put not only myself in danger but others. On the bus that day it’s all people could talk about, how lucky I was, how close it was to a tragedy…Luckily no one said out loud how stupid I was. I couldn’t get off that bus fast enough.

(this is the bus stop But on a different day lol! I was looking for a pretty picture to put here and coincidentally this is one of the first to show up on my phone which is broke so all my pics aren’t showing up…)

But if I wasn’t texting that day crossing into the street, I would still be doing stuff like that days after that and maybe another day I wouldn’t have been so lucky to have two Earth angels so close to me. So they saved my life that day and possibly days after. I think of all the days I wasn’t hit by a bus because two heroic men taught me a great lesson. Texting while crossing or driving is a dumb thing to do. It’s dangerous. It’s deadly. To the one texting and the ones around that person.

There are so many blessings we don’t even realize we are living or have lived because they’re the things that go unnoticed when they are done by someone but their absence would be noticed if they weren’t done by someone.

We can give thanks to and for all the Earth angels and heroes out there and those no longer with us by paying it forward. Always being the one to leave the world a little better than we found it. By loving out loud.

Xoxo Kim

The Beauty that Stalks the Darkness

“Every experience, no matter how bad it seems, holds within it a blessing of some kind. The goal is to find it.” 

I saw this quote today, attributed to Buddha. What a gem! It’s so true! This is a habit that can be developed. It may not always come so easily but it can be developed and ingrained deep into our brains. Every experience, pleasant, unpleasant, neural, trivial seeming, fun and light, can teach us something! There’s a little spark hidden somewhere in each of our experiences, that can be ignited to enlighten us, teach us a lesson, strength, wisdom, greater empathy and understanding for others, and inspire us.

There is potential for some kind of growth in every occasion.

Maybe you’ll learn who you want to be or don’t want to be, how strong you really are, ways to teach or help others….maybe you’ll learn something you can’t really put into words, just a feeling of deep knowing, true enlightenment. The lessons and wisdom and things we learn and come to know won’t be the same for all of us. Only you can really know what your experiences are capable of teaching you and how receptive or in tune you can be to the messages. Some people can help guide you along the way but it’s ultimately up to you to pay close attention.

It’s helpful, while experiencing an unpleasant or difficult situation of any sort, or even a pleasant, positive one, to stop in the midst of it and think “What is this teaching me? What skills or wisdom or knowledge am I being equipped with by experiencing this?” It may not come to you right away, maybe not even until the situation is long over. But it’s great to ask yourself those questions. It will get your brain in gear and directed at finding answers.

Sometimes your only lesson may just be developing deeper compassion to help others later in a similar situation or inspiring others by sharing what you have come to know. And that’s beautiful! 

Your situation can even just be reading a book or a poem or mindfully listening to a song. It can be wildly entertaining and fun but underneath there’s always some beautiful lesson to be learned.

I think this is what it means to “live life to the fullest.” You know that old cliche, right?! 

When I think of that I often think of people skydiving, partying it up, traveling the world, bungee jumping and shit but “living life to the fullest” is another thing that’s different for each person. To some people that stuff is boring and “living life to the fullest” is sitting on a sofa every night watching funny TV shows. And that’s great too as long as you’re getting the most out of your own life and not interfering with others.

To me, living to the fullest, is being in tune with the life all around me, living in the moment, seeing what it’s teaching me, savoring the splendor I am blessed to experience. 

It’s truly being alive and active “listening” to life, not just mindlessly floating through each day.  

Everyday I keep myself in tune to the wisdom all around and within me, I try to learn as much as I can and I meditate upon it and write about it and share with anyone who wants to know about it! I find wisdom and beauty in books, poetry, songs, blogs, essays, and everywhere. 

Xoxo Kim

P.s. I found love today in my backyard with my dogs:

;-D

Love <3

“A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.” ~ Kurt Vonnegut

This is a beautiful quote for the sentiment. “Love” can be a warm affection, a feeling (platonic or romantic) whether or not it’s expressed and it can be an act, a verb, an expression. We can love strangers, enemies, everyone by reaching out to help, heal, bring comfort to, uplift, inspire…or just wish them the best. We don’t have to only love our own family and friends. I see and feel so much love in the media when there’s a tragedy or struggle that is publicized and strangers reach out in love to bring hope and comfort to those in need.

But there are people around us each and every day who we can lavish love upon (in what ever way we choose) in big and smalls ways. All love is great.

 I also love how he chooses the words “A purpose” Instead of “THE purpose.” There are so many writings, quotes, and people who try to tell people what “THE” purpose of life is or should be. But really there’s no “one purpose fits all” for everyone. What provokes a sense of strong purpose in me may not bring you the same sense.  I believe there’s no ultimate “purpose” or even a different individual one for all of us. To me, the purpose is just to live, to be. If I decide that something or someone brings me purpose and then I no longer have that something or someone or I’m no longer interested in or capable of some work or activity that once brought me a sense of purpose, I’m not now purposeless. Although it can feel that way sometimes for people who lose something that was very significant to them.

But for many people it’s important to them to create, discover, have….something that brings them a sense of purpose. Some people like the challenge of this, of discovering and creating but for others it’s a devastating struggle. To feel as if we have no purpose or are unsure what it may be, can be quite painful. But you don’t have to do anything extravagant to do something great. You don’t have to travel the world, have some big impressive career, be rich or famous or ridiculously, physically beautiful, have a college degree or education…or anything like that. While those things can be amazing, you don’t need them to have a purpose. 

You can do something as simple and as great as loving all who are around to be loved.

Xoxo
Kim