Tag Archive | self love

List of Happy on the last day of May! πŸŒΈβ€οΈ

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This is me in March 2020. I was super super happy (I’m happy in general when my depression isn’t flaring but sometimes I am in an especially joyful mood and was here 😁). You can see it all over my face! LoL

Anyway, here is my current list of Happy!

1.) My job! It’s very fulfilling and fun and joyful! I’m a pet nanny! 🐾😻🐢

2.) Iced green tea 🍡 matcha lattes! I love them and have been drinking them everyday. πŸ’š

3.) My body/health. It’s beautiful and energetic and holds me well. It allows me to do everything I want to do and recovers so quickly. I rarely get sick and when I get cut, my cuts heal super quickly. When I contracted the plague in 2020, I never even knew it because I never got sick! (I did thoroughly lose my taste/smell for two months, thought I had nerve damage) I only found out donating blood! The Red Cross told me I have the antibodies. I have a wicked immune system. I’m not thankful for not getting sick then (I was out in public walking around not knowing, though did not go near anyone and always had a mask on) but just goes to show how great my body is.

4.) My photography/glitch art hobby – It brings me joy and I’m good at it!

5.) My online friends! ❀️ Sometimes online friends are better than the in person ones(not that I currently have in person friends but hope to soon!).

6.) Movies! I love horror and comedies and especially love falling asleep watching horror ones!

7.) Acts of kindness πŸ’œ

8.) Philadelphia – My true love πŸ’™ I just love walking its streets all day & night. πŸŒ† πŸ™οΈ

9.) Oldies music! ❀️ The main music I listen to!

10.) My ability to experience compassion and sadness for others no matter how old it gets. I keep seeing people seeing they are too numbed by the violence all around us to care anymore. Sometimes that happens to me when I am severely depressed and especially when also extremely overworked along with it. Depression can burn out all our emotions when it’s extremely severe (it’s nothing at all to do with being a bad or uncaring person, can happen to anyone) but in general I can experience compassion and empathy and sadness and happiness for others.

11.) The birdsong on Spring & Summer nights. I can hear it now! πŸ’• Beautiful!

12.) That beautiful tender loving feeling when a depressive episode or wave is gradually lifting. I have always said that it’s almost worth it to be so sick because the feeling of it lifting is so beautiful and amazing. And I don’t use the word “amazing” loosely. ❀️

I hope you are having a beautiful day or night wherever in the world you are and remember to look for the good even in the darkness. πŸ–€

Xoxo Kim β€οΈπŸ’•

Soft touch β€οΈπŸ’‹

This is my Instagram post a few weeks ago in case anyone is interested in a skincare product that makes the skin super soft! Dermatologist recommended! πŸ˜πŸ’™ I deleted some old pics out of media library here to fit these new pics of me taken a few weeks ago! 😁

Cetaphil. I strongly recommend anyone looking for a skincare product to soften skin, to try this. It may not work for everyone the way it works for me but definitely give it a try. I am HEAVENLY to touch. I have very sensitive skin n am out all day all year long in extreme heat n cold. I have been looking for something to keep my skin soft and lovely n found it! Nothing else works like this! Whenever I touch my skin, even by accident very briefly throughout the day, it sends bolts of sensual pleasure through me.(not sexual 🀣). Like ecstasy. It is amazing!! My whole body is soft and smooth. Works best when I put it all over my body while it’s wet just after getting out of a shower in the evenings. Not dripping wet but still wet. I let myself air dry a bit then rub it all over me everywhere while I’m still all wet. Works wonders. Also put it on in the morning when I wake up. This lotion alone does not work as well for my face. So for my face, I clean it with witch hazel of any kind then when it dries, put the lotion on. I have charcoal too for my face n some other stuff I haven’t made a routine yet but will. My face is most exposed to the sun n I haven’t worn sunblock almost at all for five years out in the sun over ten hours a day, seven days. Melanoma just waiting to happen but hopefully not! I always forget! This isn’t sponsored or paid ad or anything, just trying to help anyone looking for a skincare product! It took me a while. Even if I skip a day(usually try not to), my skin stays extra soft. The skin on my lower body was already very soft, probably gets less sun, but even more softer after using this body lotion. I’m a pet nanny n the skin on my right hand is a bit damaged after years of walking many dogs seven days a week. I wrap the leashes very tightly around my hand to be extra sure they can’t get loose n when they pull n the constant friction does damage. Not painful at all but is damaged n the lotion even helps this, though not completely.
It begins working almost instantly, at least in my experience. Give it a try and you won’t be able to keep your paws off yourself! πŸ˜† (I look like I’m trying to be all cute in the second pic but I’m not)

Sending love to all! πŸ’œ

Xoxo Kim

Perfection πŸ’œ

I’m Beautiful – Bette Midler

“Well, I woke up one morning
Flossed my teeth and decided
‘Damn, I’m fierce!'”

There’s a movie I watched recently, called, “A Perfect Ending.” It’s about a wife who is not in a happy marriage with her husband. They were never truly happy together and she never felt passion in their relationship.
There are lots of sexual scenes in this movie, just in case anyone (sex repulsed asexuals, for example) needs a content warning. And some of the scenes seem to involve BDSM(very brief and hazy scenes if I remember correctly). There is nothing wrong with this; it’s all consenting adults. But anyone who has been traumatized in any way may be triggered by any scene that appears to be an assault scene even if it’s not. For anyone who doesn’t know, BDSM(Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism, Dominance, Submission ?) , is an activity that some people like to do where they tie each other up or one ties the other up, and scream and stuff, hitting and strangling may be involved, usually for sexual purposes, but some people like to leave the sexual aspect out and just hit/strangle each other and stuff(or one hits/strangles the other) just for thrills without the sexual aspect. lol It’s all consensual so it’s all good! If I was going to do that, I would leave the sexual out of it. lol They may be couples or groups of people involved. They can be any genders. If I was going to try it, I would choose a woman to be dominant over me. I could never hit her or strangle her even if she wanted it. I don’t have it in me. I don’t want to be hit either though. Or choked to death. lol But I would take it before I would dish it out. They have a safe word that gets the dominant person to stop the strangling and stuff. It’s something that is not “No, stop, don’t” because they scream those words to make it feel real. So when they really want someone to stop, they have a word they say. I don’t know much about BDSM at all, just a very limited idea. People into BDSM are just ordinary people with a kink; any kind of person can be into it.

Hopefully, I am not saying anything disrespectful or completely inaccurate since I am not very educated on the topic.

Some people get a thrill out of inflicting pain upon a consenting adult or being the target of pain inflicted by someone else. Like I said, nothing wrong with it; whatever floats your boat as long as it’s all consensual and adults. But someone who has actually been assaulted before or experienced any kind of trauma may be triggered seeing someone tied up and screaming even if the people like it and are consenting. Our brain can’t tell the difference. And it does look scary.

Anyway, this movie is not about that at all. There is just like one or two very brief scenes I think, involving it. So just a heads up!

And there is one scene I don’t understand. It is a flashback or memory that looks like an actual assault scene(not real, of course, but real in the movie, not BDSM) , just in case anyone needs a trigger warning.

The movie also involves terminal illness. When I struggled with health anxiety for six months in 2019, I could not watch movies involving cancer. My health anxiety started out as a horrific irrational (irrational because I obsessed almost every second of every day for six months and had no true reason to believe I was sick) fear of melanoma then turned to fear of all cancer in general. Someone in the movie has terminal cancer and dies at the end. It is made clear in the beginning that someone is sick and is running out of options but we do not know who until the end. We just hear a doctor talking and see pill bottles and a cemetery stone and a casket with flowers in different scenes. We also see a paper saying someone has malignant melanoma that has metastatized(sp?? I dont care to look up the spelling) and is inoperable.

I won’t give away any very big spoilers but if anyone wants to watch without knowing anymore details, skip this post for now!

Mini spoiler warning
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The wife, who is very rich, financially, mentions to her friends that she is not and has never really been in love with her husband of many years. She only married him because she was a single mom of a toddler and wanted security. She mentions that she wants passion like they have in their relationship and sexual pleasure, which she has never experienced. So they suggest that she gets a callgirl and hooks up with her. They think maybe she needs a woman; they are certain that women are better lovers than men. lol (I wouldn’t know but sure they are right! 🀣😁)

(Also, I know not everyone is either a man or a woman – there are some who are non-binary or a combination of male, female, or other…In the movie they were talking about men & women though so that is why I only mentioned them. I’m not excluding anyone)

So she gets involved with a much younger and stunningly beautiful callgirl. At first it’s meant to be strictly bussiness. The woman pays the other woman for sexual pleasure and the other woman gladly accepts the money. But they soon fall madly in love with each other and it’s no longer about business. The callgirl, Paris, quits taking on other clients and wants to stay with this one woman, whose husband has no idea she is cheating. Her husband has never tried to make her feel loved and cares much about appearance and perfection. The wife has felt very insecure for years.

The younger woman, Paris, is very loving and wise.
There is a scene where the two women are laying in bed together and the young woman is stroking the older woman’s skin. She reaches for her stomach and Rebecca, the other woman, stops her.
This is a brief and beautiful conversation they have during this scene, packed with wisdom.
Rebecca: “Don’t; I hate my stomach. I haven’t been to the gym in way too long. I used to have a pretty good body before kids and menopause. I never looked like you though. Wow.
Paris: (Referring to her own physical beauty) This, this doesn’t mean anything. Rebecca.
Rebecca: I hate that I did this. (I think she’s referring to a body modification, maybe implants, but not sure)
Paris: Why did you?
Rebecca: It was a birthday present from Mason. He loves perfection. It’s sort of the one thing we have in common. I’ve spent my whole life trying to be perfect. I never felt good enough, or thin enough, pretty enough, smart enough.
Paris: All of the things that make us not perfect are what make us so perfectly who we are. That’s who you are, Rebecca. Perfection.

Isn’t this beautiful? A great reminder to us all!

It’s a sweet & beautiful love story if you ignore the fact that she’s cheating on her husband. lol Not that this makes it ok but her husband is not the best; he’s not very loving to her; their marriage is stagnant, and worst of all, he does not think of or treat her daughter as his own even though he brought her up since she was a baby. He only regards the younger brothers as his since they are biologically his. I would leave him just for that. If someone is important to us, I believe their kids should be too. If I have a friend with kids, I love her kids automatically. Also, I don’t have much experience with human children but I cannot imagine bringing up a child and not loving the child like my own and regarding the child like my own. I’m a pet nanny and I love all the furballs like my own n they are not mine in any way at all.

I love the character, Paris, the callgirl. She’s intelligent and wise and sexy and confident. She’s also compassionate. She experienced something traumatic and devastating, previously. Some may have a serious issue with her since a married woman is cheating on her husband with Paris and Paris knows she is married. But if you can forget that little detail, you may just fall in love with her. lol 😍

Whenever I watch a movie that is especially packed with wisdom or has a scene in it with a wise or beautiful message, I love to share!
So the message here is we are all beautiful, especially because of our flaws and perfect because of our imperfections. And while the physical beauty of a person is pleasing, it is not important and actually means nothing.

This does not mean not to get all dolled up or cosmetic surgery if we want and not take pleasure in someone else’s or our own beauty, just that there are more important aspects of a person. Of course beauty, hair, makeup salons are all good! I love looking at beautiful women and I follow many fashion and makeup accounts! But I know a good personality, a loving heart, is more pleasing than a pretty face or banging body. Also, more potential to be longer lasting.

I hope you are having a beautiful day or night wherever in the world you are! ❀

Xoxo Kim

Mental loop

“I sit at my desk. San Francisco sparkles through the large bedroom windows. A Coca Cola sign blinks off, then rebuilds itself, one letter at a time. I see cars on Market street, red taillights. The famous tower over twin peaks is swallowed up by the night, hidden by fog. A neighbor’s balcony light comes on. Sliding door opens, a woman in shorts and t-shirt steps out, kneels to pick something up, then returns inside. The door shuts. If you were to open up my head at this moment and peer within, you’d find yourself asking with a thick Southern drawl, ‘Does this boy not have an imagination?’ There is only one thought running through my head: I love myself. I love myself. I love myself.”~Kamal Ravikant ❀

Much love & light,

Xoxo Kim

BeYOUtifulβ™‘

“I’m not too short, I’m not too tall, I’m not too big, I’m not too small. Ooh, don’t lemme start lovin’ myself! Ooh, don’t lemme start lovin’ myself! I’m not too white, I’m not too black, I’m not too this, I’m not too that…. I’m beautiful, dammit.”

Check out my under-eye wrinkles. I love to put pretty effects/filters on my pictures to make them look glossy or make the colors pop and things like that. I was going to post this pic on Instagram with inspiring song lyrics (not the ones above) and was looking for a filter to put on the pic, not to cover anything up but just to make it glossier and fix the lighting, things like that.

 I found a filter called “portrait” and love it! It makes the pic look glossy and bright but not overly bright to where it looks washed out or grainy. And then I noticed what that photo effect does to my under-eye wrinkles. It covers them up and makes my skin look almost flawless. My wrinkles don’t show up clearly in every pic but as you can see, they definitely do in this one. 

I wasn’t completely sure what they’re called at first, lines? Wrinkles? Laughlines? So i looked it up on Google. Lol Turns out, they are wrinkles. And every single thing that showed up on Google, that I saw, page after page, after page, is how to get rid of them, conceal them, or lessen them, makeup, medical procedures, home remedies, lifestyle changes….it struck me how much I don’t mind that I have them. In this society (U.S., where I live), we (especially girls/women, it seems), are very much pressured to look certain ways and to look as young as possible, years, even decades younger than we are. We’re not supposed to have wrinkles or gray hair or laugh lines or stretch marks or extra flubber or under eye bags….the list goes on & on & on. 

Seeing all these Google search results with all these women so desperately searching for ways to get rid of & cover up these wrinkles and seeing all these companies desperate to sell their products to help us perfect our skin, I experience deep compassion for all of those girls who obsess and feel so self conscious and like they aren’t enough just how they are. What a blessing it is to not only not mind our wrinkles but to actually find them beautiful. And I do find my under-eye wrinkles incredibly beautiful. And not only mine but beautiful on every face.

They are signs of years of living, years of wisdom, years of laughter, experience, smiles, pain….good & bad, happy & sad…. 

Getting older, aging, old age, middle age, signs of aging….is not something to regret or conceal or fret about. It just is and is a blessing. More years living means more years loving & experiencing.

So here I am sharing my picture with no filter/effect at all, flaunting my wrinkles. In this picture, I have on blue eyeshadow and light bronze eyeliner and that’s it. 

I am sharing this in the hope that anyone feeling low about wrinkles or any signs of aging will be inspired and embrace it instead. I have scars on my right leg (and much lighter ones on the left) on different parts because I was attacked by a dog on a few occasions. My scars are permanent. My skin on my legs used to be flawless. I see so many pictures of girls flaunting their perfect legs and I have no problem with it at all. I’m so happy they love their bodies and want to show them off and I love seeing beautiful women of all sizes, colors, ages, appearances and love celebrating their beauty, both inner & outer beauty, as well as my own.

Sometimes though, I feel a pang, deep inside, a longing, when I see those perfect legs, knowing mine can never again be like that. My scars arent terrible but are very noticeable. I’m not self conscious about them at all but still sometimes wish that I never got them.  Then I see other girls, with way more obvious scars than me, big, beautiful, deep surgical scars, that they share in pictures, along with their stories of perseverance, inner strength, courage and self love and I am inspired. I’m reminded to accept my scars, embrace them, love them. They’re part of me and they tell a story, one of trauma, fear, pain, hope, healing, love. 

So I know that showing off my wrinkles and loving them, can potentially inspire another woman to not feel so low about hers. This isn’t a post against covering up scars, wrinkles….or any blemishes. It’s about accepting and loving who/what we are and loving the body we are blessed with. Nothing wrong with concealing anything. Whatever floats your boat! But some things can’t be concealed or ever go away. So let’s love them. And even if they can be covered up or gotten rid of, love them in the process! It’s beautiful, all the things the body can do, get sick, injured, then heal. Move around, allow us to experience, carry organs, a heart that pumps non stop day & night. Awe-inspiring!

I’m Beautiful (song/youtube)

Much love & light to you, always! And remember to be your own kind of beautiful! β™‘ 

Xoxo Kim 

I am… <3

(Not my photo)

Recently I have been seeing blog posts and Instagram posts where people share a photo that says “I am…” then go onto reminding us all how very powerful our thoughts and words are and give examples of positive “I am” statements: I am creative, I am strong, I am intelligent…

(not my photo)

I have known for a long while that thoughts are powerful and that it’s wise to watch how we talk to\about our own selves whether it’s in our head or out loud.

I rarely feel negative or unpleasant emotions or feelings about myself and even more rarely do I speak\think insulting or abusive words about myself. So when I ever do feel or especially think an unpleasant word about myself, I feel the very toxic effect of it instantly. I’m used to only thinking positive and feeling positive things about me. For as long as I can remember, I had positive self esteem in general, often even when I am depressed.

When I do think or feel unpleasant things about myself, it’s almost always just when I’m depressed and even then I’m careful how I think\speak about myself. When I was young and depressed I often abused myself with words and thoughts but not now. Sometimes still, usually when depressed, I let myself get consumed in feelings of worthlessness and pointlessness.

Anyway, recently I was reminded how powerful words\thoughts are. I have been sick for a few days. Physically. My sinuses are very sensitive since I was little and I get sinus colds and allergies sometimes, not as badly as some people but very uncomfortable on some occasions and sometimes really painful. Usually not very bad though. But recently my sinuses have been hurting really badly and then my throat started to become sore. Also, I have been very fatigued.

I kept thinking “I’m so sick, I’m so weak (physically), ” I am so fatigued!…” and each one of those thoughts, i felt taking even more energy out of me. The fatigue scared me. It was bone deep and so all consuming. I was reaching for a book on my bookshelf thinking “I am so sick” when suddenly I remembered that trend thing I keep seeing around with the “I am…” and how those two words are so powerful so whatever comes after them better be good.

And I thought to myself “I am…strong” “I am resilient” “I am optimistic” “I am beautiful”

And of course I’m still going to be sick and fatigued and whatever else because words and thoughts very likely won’t directly cure something but the point is to shift our focus to what is good, to place our awareness on our positive qualities and situations.

(not my photo)

This isn’t about denying or repressing or ignoring our unfortunate or unpleasant situations. That is unhealthy. But so is dwelling on them, feeding into them with too much of our attention.

Thinking positively generates positive, healing energy. And just makes it easier to cope with unpleasant things. So let’s list some positive “I am…” statements.

I am strong.

I am powerful.

I am thankful.

I am beautiful.

I am wise.

I am creative.

I am hopeful.

I am resilient.

I am optimistic.

I am fierce.

I am empowered.

I am enough.

I am confident.

I am compassionate.

I am warmth.

I am tender.

I am beauty.

I am Light.

I am sacred.

I am Love.

πŸ˜€ ❀

It’s not even a really bad cold, just unpleasant. But this cold gave me the opportunity to put positive thinking into practice and see incredible instant results and be reminded of a life lesson. And I want to share in hopes that it may inspire someone else. I am so thankful for all the people who have been posting the “I am…” things. We may not always realize just how deeply our posts on social media can touch others. Let’s keep sharing that positivity!

Much love & light to you, always!

😍 ❀ πŸ˜€

xoxo Kim ❀

Be.YOU.tiful ❀

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This is me today at work! ❀

And here is a quote I saw recently:

It’s okay to be who you are. If you’re nervous, be nervous. If you’re shy, be shy.” πŸ’œ

I love how this quote encourages us to be just us. It’s a good thing to change what we want if we truly want to change it. But it’s also great to just accept our own self just the way we are. Some things can’t be changed and some we may think we want to change or think we don’t like but it’s really someone else’s opinion or the opinion of the society in which we live, influencing us to change, to “fix,” to make better.

Let’s stop and think. Do we truly want to change whatever it is because we our self wish to change it or is the view of others getting to us?

If it’s the views of others, let’s consider not changing just for that. And if we truly want to lose the weight, get the surgery, makeover, dye our hair..we can still love our own self while changing it. Our beauty and value are not dependent upon anyone else.

My sister loves to cut, style, and dye her hair. It’s just how her personality is. She gets many compliments on her style and boldness, shaving half her head and having the other half blue or some other dyed color. On so many occasions, strangers and people we know, come up to compliment her and then ask me, “So when are you going to cut\dye your hair?”Β 

I don’t cut or dye my hair and have never dyed it and am not going to. Five years ago I got my first haircut in seventeen years! It was cut in layers and still fairly long. Now, five years later and I haven’t got it cut since then other than trimming it now and again. It’s long enough for me to sit on. My dogs and people sit on it and pull it by accident! It annoys me but I love my hair!

Also, I am very shy and always have been. When I just meet someone or don’t see someone often, I am usually not talkative. It’s not fear or anxiety or introversion. I love meeting and being around people and am calm in social settings and am extroverted, just a shy extrovert. πŸ˜€

I have frequently been told to start getting loud and outgoing. It’s not my choice to feel shy; I just am. I don’t have a problem with it and don’t wish to change it. Being loud and outgoing, frequently changing hairstyles is all great. It’s just not for me.

Also, I LOVE Oldies music and people think it’s weird and I used to be embarrassed about it but now I embrace my love for old music.

And I don’t watch TV but love to read. This is embarrassing sometimes but I never try to conceal it.

I dont drink alcoholic drinks and never had more than a few sips in all of my days. It’s embarrassing but alcohol just does not appeal to me in any way and never has. It’s just not my cup of tea(except to take pictures of!).

Β  I don’t want kids and never have. Β I love kids and want to work with extra needs children. But being a mom isn’t the life I want for me. Not for any specific reason though; I just have no desire to have kids. I used to lie years ago and tell people I do want kids so people wouldn’t think I’m a bitter old witch who doesn’t like kids. Now I embrace me for all that I am. I would love my kids if I had kids; that’s just not the life I choose. Β Β 

If you love to loosen up with a glass of wine or shot of whisky, embrace who you are! If you’re like me and hardly ever had more than a sip, embrace that too!

Shy or ououtgoing , love and accept who you are.

Bookworm? Embrace it!

Watch TV all day?Β 

That’s OK if it’s what we truly want!

Stay at home parent, working parent, not a parent, don’t want to be, can’t be… Whatever…love yourself. πŸ’œ

As long as we aren’t hurting others or directly interfering, let’s embrace and love it. β€πŸ’œπŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’›πŸ˜πŸ˜€

And if it is interfering with someone, we can always change for the better.

Live with it & love it. πŸ’™

But let’s remember not to be stuck up and sanctimonious about it(unless we really want to be, lol)! We don’t have to negatively judge others for lifestyles we would never choose or for loving stuff we don’t love or not loving stuff we love. Let’s celebrate our oneness, our similarities, and our diversity. β€πŸ’ž

Much love & light,

Xoxo Kim

Know our worth

(Not my photo!)

This is a fantastic reminder to not see ourselves through the eyes of those who do not think much of us whether they outright mistreat us or just pay us no mind.

There have been occasions I liked/wanted to be friends with someone who had no interest in me at all and occasions people tried to degrade me and I began to see myself through their eyes and assumed everyone must think of me how they do or that it must be true, I must be worthless. I don’t have a habit of doing this but there have been occasions it occurred.

It’s not just an adolescent thing either. Even adults can be deeply troubled by how others view them or how we think they do.

Not everyone is going to like everyone and there’s nothing wrong with that. We don’t all have to be close friends or acquaintances but it’s important to remember that the low opinions of others or the apathy have nothing to do with us.

All that matters is our own opinion of ourselves and if it’s low we can fix it. Focus on our good qualities and self growth and treat our own selves how we would treat a good friend.

And always try to build each other up, not drag anyone down. 

Also, thank you to everyone who wrote me comments recently!! I greatly appreciate it and will respond soon! 

πŸ˜€

❀

Much love & light,

Xoxo Kim

Help Me to Heal {a healing activity}

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“Breathe it out and breathe it in
Trust the light that shines within
Let it burn ’til you learn to love yourself
Breathe it out and breathe it in
Trust the light that shines within
Let it burn ’til you learn to love yourself
Love will lead you home…
Love will lead you home…
Love will lead you home…” ~ Olivia Newton John ❀

A few years ago I came across a blog, I don’t remember the blog now but wish I had the link still or remember the name. It’s an art journaling blog on blogger.com, I think, and the lady suggested an activity to help heal any emotional pain we may have about certain incidents or situations in life.

I may have shared it before on here but I don’t remember.Β 

If so, it’s ok, it won’t hurt to share it again!Β 

The activity is to take an index card and a pencil and very lightly, in almost imperceptible strokes of the pencil, write on the index card every painful emotion we have surrounding whatever incident or struggle we choose. Make sure the words are incredibly light, almost unseen. Or write the words regularly then lightly erase them but still leave a vestige of what was. This, I suspect, is to symbolically lessen their power over us. So we are no longer gripped in their bondage.Β 

The event or situation can be anything at all that hurts us, for example a painful breakup, the loss of a friend or family member, pet to death or any other way, a family member or friend diagnosed with a serious illness, being rejected in some way, losing a job, the loss of an important material object (house, car, jewelry, money…), chronic pain or illness, sexual assault, abuse, addiction, feeling abandoned or excluded….. anything that hurts.

After filling the entire index card up with words to describe our pain, words like: pain, rejection, lost, lonely, empty, grief, despair, torture, fear, embarrassed, devastated, angry, furious, broken, confused, numb, guilt, betrayed, envy,jealous, sorry, regret, doubt, heartbreak…..

We then take a marker of any color, especially a bold color, and write over the light penciled words in bold words, positive words like: love, healing, compassion, self-love, inspiration, wisdom, life, joy, happiness, laughter, light, optimistic, positive, balance, full, pleasure, fulfilled, Metta, gratitude, oneness, empathy, understanding, caring, beauty, perseverance, overcoming, stillness, serenity, peace, calm, tranquil, recovery, vitality, spark, acceptance, hope,longevity….

I’m guessing this activity is symbolic of positive energy and emotions overpowering the unpleasant ones. The light penciled words have no power over us if we do not allow them. And if we choose and work on it, we can let the bold, happy words take over. The light words are still there. Here. They still exist, the scars still exist. But they are now dormant or powerless or just not the main thing we experience any longer, not the noxious energy they once were.Β 

Here is a fake one I made just for this post:

Unpleasant emotions/thoughts:

IMG_14173028_1

(I made the words dark enough to see on here)

Empowering words/emotions/thoughts:

IMG_14173029_1

“The answer is sleeping
Inside your heart
True love that you long for
That’s where it starts” ~ Olivia Newton John ❀

The situation I chose for this activity a few years ago is a form of rejection I once experienced. I allowed this experience to get to me much, much longer than is necessary. Well over a year after this experience, I was still shattered, devastated beyond words with no sign of it getting better. Some moments were worse than others. Some moments/days I finally felt like it would be ok but then I would crash back into the seemingly unbearable pain of it, feeling like I couldn't possibly go on.Β 

It wasn't depression but every now and then it would trigger a months/weeks long episode of depression and deep despair and even severe headaches, which became more frequent after this experience and lessened after I felt healed to a certain degree. Then when the depression would lift or the headache would ease, the severe pain of this situation would still linger, breaking me, bringing me to ruin.Β 

Rejection, loss, unrequited love, broken friendships/relationships,….are part of living and it's ok to experience them and for them to really affect us in deep and painful ways but they should never take over so much of life to where that's the main thing we dwell on each day and allow it to ruin our days or whole life. I let it ruin me. It's best if the pain of these situations begins to heal to a certain extent after a while. The pain does not have to be the thing that generally or frequently dominates.Β 

I was so pleasantly surprised at how much this activity really did heal me. I usually don't say things like something healed me or made me do something or caused something, because really, things usually help, provoke, and contribute to things, not actually cause it or make it happen. Things help me to heal. They don't usually heal me just themselves.Β 

But I feel this activity really healed me. Not completely. This is a scar I will always have and that's a good thing! It's good to be affected by all of life in both painful and joyous ways.

It's great to be touched in both pleasant and painful ways, by people and situations.Β 

It's better than being dead or numb or indifferent.

"There's nothing more whole than my broken heart." ~ Hasidic saying

But this activity really helped me heal the worst of the pain. It helped me release painful emotions themselves and the pain of how I viewed certain things. It helped me let go and liberate myself so I am no longer ruled by the situation.Β 

I was expecting it to maybe help a little bit, even if only during the moments I was engaging in it. But even after it was over, I immediately sensed a change deep within. I felt something release and shift and while I still carry that pain, that scar, that sliver of an ache, it's usually not the red, flaming hot agony it once was that felt like it was scorching the very soul of me.

"I know I'll find the strength to fight
If I can trust I'm gonna be alright
So walk me through my darkest fears tonight
Help me to heal
Help me to feel
All I know is what I see
So won't you help me to believe
Help me to heal" ~ Olivia Newton John

Help Me to Heal – mobile

Help Me to Heal – desktop

I only ever did this activity once and I lost the card but I have it somewhere. I read a book recently about how to cleanse our energy or aura and in the book is an amazing list of healing activities I’m going to try. This one is not in the book but the book reminds me of this one. It’s a fantastic cleansing experience.Β 

This activity can be performed for any problem whether it’s seemingly trivial or feels like it’s the end of the world.

I’m going to try it again for other struggles.Β 

I strongly recommend this activity. It’s not a cure and there’s no doubt in my mind that not everyone will be as helped by it as I am.
It’s likely not for everyone. Even if it doesn’t have long lasting effects like it does for me, just the act of engaging in it can be very healing.Β 

We can also color it with soothing colors, draw on it, anything creative to add to it. We can put our own spin on it.

It’s a very simple, very brief, but very profound method of healing.

❀

I hope you find it healing like I do if you want to try it!

Learn to Love Yourself – mobile – Olivia Newton John

Learn to Love Yourself – mobile

Much love & light to you, always!Β 

πŸ˜€

Xoxo Kim  ❀