Tag Archive | thoughts

Random Inspiration {pics, quotes, thoughts}

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Here are some of my pictures & just random thoughts & things!

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Isn’t my baby cute?! He looks so happy and serene. Smiling. 😀
It’s that peaceful, calm kind of sleepiness but not exhaustion or fatigue. 

This is where he waits for me to come upstairs to my room. Two of my dogs love to stay in bed all day and they would if I was up there. I don’t stay in my room all day and sometimes when I’m downstairs they go up to the top of the stairs and bark and growl for me to come up! 
Lol Lazy bums.

They want to be in bed but only with me! It’s so cute! This is Woody in the picture. He was really sleepy and just waited there for me to come up. 

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This little baby crawled onto my hand and then I was faced with a difficult dilemma. Do I put him/her outside in the tree where it’s kind of cold or just let him roam the floors in work(which I’m certain my manager and boss wouldn’t appreciate!).
There’s only one ant that I saw so it wasn’t like infested. I’m not sure if there’s easy access to food outside for an ant. But in a store or something there may be microscopic 
crumbs around. But inside, an insect has a good chance of being crushed by people who have no regard for their lives. I don’t judge those people, which is like just about everyone in the world except for me. But I can’t bear the thought of a living sentient being, no matter how small or icky or ugly or scary or disgusting, or repulsive, no matter the species, human, insect, reptile, animal…being killed or injured. I really find it heartbreaking. So when I can, I help them to the best of my ability. I’m not in people’s faces with it or all sanctimonious about it like some pro-life people. That really annoys me when people act like their morals are above other people’s. I have been accused of this on occasion, especially by my sister who thinks I’m a snob, but it’s not true. I put the cute little ant in the tree outside in the crunchy leaves, hoping s/he would find food and warmth. ❤

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Recently I was out with my mom and took this picture. I love it! To most/many people, it may just appear to be a really bad picture. To me, it is symbolic of a few things. 
I love taking pictures of things that represent something to me even if they just appear to be meaningless. I never liked the idea of a creator/artist/writer/poet…anyone who takes pictures or anything, explaining the work or photo. I love when readers/viewers try to interpret it but I think it’s great if the creator leaves it to them and usually doesn’t explain its meaning. Occasionally I share my pictures and tell what purpose I find in them.
But often I like to leave it to the viewers. I love the abstract & mystery. And it can symbolize different things to different people, which I love!

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It’s beginning to look a lot like Halloween!  
I love all the innocent looking Halloween decor! The ghosts, the pumpkins, the vampires and minions dressed up, the little monsters and scary houses set up in people’s windows. I love the cute stuff! Some of the stuff I have seen is, in my opinion, going a bit overboard! Like something that appears to be a person, hanging off a tree! A person appearing to be crushed in a garage door or have a gunshot wound to the head! Aaahh! That has my heart racing and not in a good way! I always feel so much compassion for people who have found suicide/homicide/accident victims. I can just imagine what it must be like for them to have to see that after seeing the real thing. ❤
Flash backs & panic attacks and nightmares and everything else!
I love haunted attractions but the “dead people” though they have fake blood and gashes all over them, don't actually look truly dead and they're usually walking around so obviously aren't dead or resembling true dead persons! (there hasn't been a real zombie apocalypse yet that I know of!)
To me, there is nothing at all fun about seeing a dead body or something that accurately resembles one.
If I was decorating I would be more thoughtful and mindful about what I put in public but I understand it's Halloween and that's just what some people consider fun. 
I saw people get into arguments over this before, certain decorations or displays being repulsive and people were saying some people are thoughtless and callous and others saying people need to lighten up that it's just for fun (when I was little I saw a real homicide victim {a very young woman} covered in blood dead on the ground, where I used to play, I was too young [or stupid] to completely grasp the full seriousness of it but I can tell you it wasn't fun to find that! [I never knew her but I still think of her all these years later.]) and I try to be understanding, accepting, tolerant, or just at least as civil as possible about all sides of any issue or topic even if I disagree. I do some things too that people don't like. No one is going to be perfect to everyone, we all have different concepts of perfect but that's ok.

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Isn’t this a pretty picture?! It’s my picture! But I edited it to make it look a bit more dramatic in a way. I love editing my pictures! It’s more creative and fun than just snapping a picture and sharing it. On my photobucket account, I usually share both the edited and the original because I like all my pictures. I never try to pretend my pictures aren’t edited to some degree. Most are(except for pictures of myself, sometimes they have effects but that’s all). They usually look better with effects than the original ones, sometimes I just make the colors pop or make the picture brighter or fade or blur out certain parts for a foggy or nostalgic look.

Here’s an example of two pictures that are the same but one is edited. They still look very much the same but the original is dull while the edited pops in color. Sometimes an original pic does no justice to the real thing and I edit it and it looks more similar to the real thing. Like the sky sometimes is so bright and beautiful and I take a picture and it’s all dull looking and I edit it to bring out the colors and it looks more like the real sky than the original pic! 

Original version:

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Edited version:

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I got skills! lol jk I really don’t but hope to one day! This isn’t a good picture but I still like it.

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We have all these big monopoly pieces all around in this one place in Center City. Is this just a Philadelphia thing or do they have this in other places as well? I love how we can see the reflection of the sky in the windows here. I blurred it a bit so the people in my pics can’t be clearly seen since they don’t even know they’re in my pics!

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That church way over there has the rainbow flag outside to show their love for lgbtq people. Way to go! ❤
I don't think people necessarily should be thanked for supporting equality since it's a basic thing we're supposed to do just like we're not supposed to kill or be a racist or at least not act on it in vicious ways. I'm not going to thank someone for not killing me or for supporting a woman's right to vote or for supporting interratical marriage, it's not a luxary or gift, it's a basic right or basic equality but still good to express support so people know. Especially in a place where they are often known for or thought of as being discriminatory.
I think in some ways heterosexism is worse than homophobia because it's less obvious and may be overlooked but the impact still devestating, where homophobia is more obvious and can be called out and addressed more easily. Heterosexism is basically the idea of overlooking anything other than heterosexuality, like asking a woman we just meet “do you have a boyfriend?” just assuming she is romantically attracted to men. And in all the commercials and extras in movies, just showing heterosexuality. It's good to show things other than just heterosexuality in basic everyday contexts in movies like, people walking by holding hands and things. It's good to have movies & tv shows where the main topic is relating to lgbtq people but also just showing it in subtle ways.
Everyone should feel included in society.
I saw on tv recently a teenage girl who was born with what is considered a boy's body. She was thrilled because her parents allowed her to get hormone therapy to have her body become more physically female.
They gave her a surprise package and when she unwrapped it, it was something she been wanting, permission to get the therapy.
My dad (who is against homosexuality and transgenderism and anything other than what he is or claims to be) was appalled and saying offensive things and things like how can they let a child do that. And my mom who is not a homo/transphobe but still not as completely understanding of transgender issues as I am, said what if the girl changes her mind and decides she should have stayed a boy or how she was first. I'm not easily offended but I was here. Like, how can a person's gender identity just change?! It can't!! We know as long as we remember what we are! I never once thought “maybe I'm a boy!” Transgender people aren't confused, except maybe because of things society tries to put on them. That little girl knows what she is and always has. She's a GIRL! Even though her body is what is typically considered a boy's.

A t-girl is no less of a woman than I am. It's not our body that makes us what we are, male, female, both, neither, it's our gender identity. I am a woman because my gender identity is that of a woman's. We don't choose our gender identity or sexual orientation, just choose how to act on it. But anyway so what if it were a choice? It's not hurting anyone!
Some people say not to be against gay or trans people because they cannot help it! I know they have loving intentions saying that but it's rude! It's like saying it's still not good but it's ok because they can't help it.
I can just imagine the loneliness many trans. people and their familes must feel. Many parents who allow their children to express their gender identity even if it does not match their sexual identity, are vilified for it. But I support them and if I had a child who turned out to be transgender, I would let him/her express it at whatever age s/he wanted. People say they will be bullied and scarred over it and it's most likely true but if I tried to force my kid to be something s/he is not, that would scar her and hurt her too. I would prefer someone else to hurt my child than my own self! And I have nothing against lgbtq people or them expressing it however they want.

Also, I’m not a “politically correct” control freak who obsesses over language or words. I don’t like offending people, not usually because of what they may thjnk about me but because I truly care not to offend. And I don’t use terms that are blatant insults. But if someone isn’t trying to be vicious but says something that isn’t “politically correct,” I won’t go all apeshit. Intentions usually matter more, in my opinion, than what appears to be. It’s great to be thoughtful but we don’t have to be controlling and obsessed with how people talk.

This isn't an angry rant! lol I’m not angry. I'm just sharing my opinions and stuff.

A t-woman was murdererd recently by a person with a history of hurting transgender people. And my love & compassion go out to all affected by that. ❤

“In my household, being gay was, and is, no big deal. When my brother came out, we hugged him, said we loved him, and that was that. Just for the record, we don’t feel that there is anything alternative about our family values. I don’t consider my[self] just an ally to the LGBT community. I consider myself your family. If anyone, ever, tried to hurt you, I’m gonna give them hell. There are people who’ve said that I’m being brave for being openly supportive of gay marriage, gay adoption…with all due respect, I humbly dissent. I’m not being brave. I’m being a decent human being…” ~ Anne Hathaway

I agree. When I was in college and at a pflag event, there were parents of lgbtq kids who gave a speech about supporting their kids and all lgbtq people and people started cheering and they asked everyone to stop, saying it's not something to thank them for, that they are merely doing what is right, what is basic. ❤

“Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away.”

I love the sentiment. I don't see anything wrong with adults drinking alcoholic things as long as they are responsible about it. 😀 Like not drinking themselves to death or operating machines/vehicles or anything while intoxicated! And not getting angry and pushing people because that can accidentally kill someone! Alcohol itself isn’t usually a problem, it’s how we handle it.
I suspect the “drink” is referring to alcohol because most of us have to drink, I think. Unless maybe we have an iv drip. I don’t know why this quote says not to drink it but I like how it says drink in the moments that take our breath away! sweet!

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And this is me! ❤

I feel as if I just rambled through this whole thing which wasn’t my intention! lol I was just sharing my pictures and the thoughts came to me! Hopefully they are coherent!

😀

Lots of love to you!!


xoxo Kim

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Random Inspiration {photos, thoughts, & quotes!!}

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Here are some of my pictures and some of my opinions on things! And some quotes on happiness!  I shared a lot of these pics and thoughts on Facebook and photobucket already a couple weeks ago.
And a lot of these pictures I took yesterday. I tried posting this yesterday and it wouldn’t show up. So when something says “today” in this post, it was yesterday. 😀  

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This is me under a bridge on the street I live on. Someone painted my name on the wall and dotted it with a heart! I’m almost certain it’s not intended for me but for some other girl who shares my name. Lol It says some name that I can’t comprehend loves Kim. I tried to get a picture of the whole thing but it
did not turn out good!

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This pic may come off as sensual or sexual and that’s ok but that wasn’t my intention. I so frequently write about how I love to capture the “simple joys of life” especially water droplets, raindrops, moisture, things of that sort. I was walking up a street one day when an air conditioner dripped on me. Lol It landed right on my boob and I found it funny and also very beautiful. I think a woman’s body is beautiful, every part and I’m not referring to a sexual way. Even the parts of the body that are sexual or considered to be, are beautiful in an aesthetic way and just for what the body does for us, let’s us live, love, and experience. I love boobs just as much as the next man. Lol unlike people who are romantically attracted to women, I’m not turned on by them in a sexual way but I do find them beautiful and love artistic pics or representations of them. And any part of a woman’s body. And not in a way that is objectifying. I know a woman is much much more than her body. It’s great to celebrate a woman’s beauty, even the physical. It’s not necessarily shallow or objectifying. Right away it’s often considered objectification if a woman’s body is celebrated for her beauty or if certain clothes are worn or certain body parts played up or displayed. Objectification is not good, imo, but it’s not always objectifying. And it’s not always sexual or shallow. I don’t care how people interpret this picture of me. I think the creator/artist creates then it’s up to the viewer to interpret. I’m just describing my experience and opinions. There’s nothing on the entire planet or anywhere in the world more beautiful than a woman. And I want to celebrate, honor, and cherish all of our beauty. 

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This is just weird. I don’t even know. I just felt the urge to hold up a glass coca Cola bottle to my eyeball and take a pic through the bottom of the bottle. Can you say, creepy?!

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I see/hear a lot of people bragging that their photos on social media have “no filters.” That’s great if people like to just put the original copy on but there’s nothing wrong with editing and photo effects. They are tools to be creative. There’s so many amazing apps and effects to give pictures a certain feel or play up the colors or concepts. I don’t edit all mine but it’s usually more fun to play with the photos than just snapping a pic and sharing. Some people think it’s deceiving to edit photos but it’s not unless we try acting like they aren’t edited and they are and look realistic. I have edited photos of sunsets before, for example, and they look very beautiful and more vibrant than the original but it’s not obvious they’re edited. In that case I state that they are edited, usually. I never try to be deceiving. If someone asks me I will tell the truth. It’s nothing to conceal. It takes skills to edit a photo and make it beautiful. And I want to get better and better. But usually I think we can tell when a photo is edited and don’t have to always say it, especially when it’s overedited or dramatically edited. Often non edited photos are boring looking. Not always but often and it’s just my opinion of course. On my photobucket account I usually share all of the originals and edited versions. I like all my pictures and want to save/share them all. Even professional photographers often edit their own pictures. 

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This is me waiting for a bus today which never came. It wasn’t coming because of construction work and I had to walk home which took like over an hour and it was 100 degrees out and my head was throbbing and my mouth was completely dry. But I got quite a few lovely photos of today! I got lost walking home and had no idea what to do. I had no phone service or anything but I saw the Dialysis and
organ donation, gift of life buildings
and then found my way because I always see how my dad drives home when we’re that way. It reminds me of this quote “don’t take your organs to heaven, heaven knows we need them here.” It’s so true. I would love to donate one of my kidneys if I could, While I’m living, to someone who needs one, doesn’t matter if I know the person or not. I know of the risks involved but it’s still worth it. I know kidney implants work better or more likely to not reject when the donor is living. Anyway, it’s a beautiful building and I get pics of it sometimes but did not get one today. A couple of sweet people at the busstop were kind enough to tell the others who kept walking up that it’s not coming. I stayed for a while to tell people so they wouldn’t be stuck waiting in 100 degrees weather forever. There should be a sign up so people kno

And I saw this at the busstop which was not always there:

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It shows that someone cares to help people even those they don’t know. I’m not sure who the people are responsible for having the sign here but it’s an act of love to reach out to the suffering and just seeing it is heartwarming and can help change someone’s mind or uplift someone.

There’s always hope and always, always someone who cares or would care if the person met you!

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I found this adorable little kritter at work recently! I think he’s a Junebug, maybe. He was on the sink and struggling to get up so I picked him up and set him on the edge and he was cleaning his little red face with his legs! Licking his legs then rubbing them on his face. It was the cutest thing! He’s much more beautiful than he looks in this picture. Lol He wasn’t even afraid of me or anything. They usually aren’t. He loved walking on me and has the cutest little eyes. I put him out in the grass and when I was about to stand up to go back inside I still felt like he was walking on me. Then I looked and he was! Lol He got back on! Poor thing did not want to leave me. But then he was happy when I put him on a little flower thing under a tree. And I love my veins! Little blue lines of life!

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~ When you’re under a dark & shady tree, don’t forget to see the sun shining through the branches.~

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Don’t put the key to happiness in someone else’s pocket. ~Author Unknown

Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it. ~Jacques Prévert

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Today a man and little lady were walking by as I was and the lady said to the man “hey did you ever see the movie ‘Hocus Pocus?'” lol I was delighted, I love that movie! You can see the man and little lady with their backs turned in This pic! I took this pic because I just recently learned of a flower called “blue dicks!” lol And as I was lost I saw these blue flowers and thought to myself “hey look there’s Blue Dicks!” I don’t know if they’re really blue dicks but they sure are blue. 😀

It’s the little things that make the world go round! Lol ;-D 

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The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. ~Mark Twain

If only we’d stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time. ~Edith Wharton 

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This is me with no makeup after days of almost no sleep because I was obsessed with a book I was reading, which I wrote about, called After the Cure, and couldn’t put it down or stop thinking about it. Lol Sometimes I can’t sleep because of happy thoughts and too much gratitude and I just want to get up and dance and blast happy songs all night and read every book I have. Then I pay for it the next day with dark circles around my eyes and achy muscles and things! Oh well…at least it’s because of happy things!!

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IN  loving memory of my friend/coworker, Diane who died on 2/14/2015 of a heart attack. She was beautiful and caring about everyone. Just like me, she LOVED Coca Cola! It’s all we would drink, we would be guzzling it up all day long at work! Lol Last night I found this at work and I drank it for her. I know she would love it. Seeing it brought me pain but more joy than pain. I love Diane and keep her always in my heart. 

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” ~ attributed to Winnie the Pooh! 😀

Much love to you tonight & always. 

Xoxo Kim

If your heart breaks regularly….<3 </3

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Then you’re doing something right.

“If you’re really listening, if you’re awake to the poignant beauty of the world, your heart breaks regularly. In fact, your heart is made to break; its purpose is to burst open again and again so that it can hold evermore wonders.” ~ Andrew Harvey

I recently saw a self-help book, I don’t remember the name, designed to help us completely eradicate anger and other unpleasant feeling emotions out of our lives. It’s also designed to “make” us not even care at all when someone rejects us or when a relationship ends. Not only to eliminate “negative” emotions or help us heal but to PERMANENTLY obliterate them. Forever. Never feel anything but positive emotions again as long as we live. To be forever indifferent to negative events in the world.  What a joke, right?   It even has a warning saying something along the lines of “Caution, do NOT read this book if you do not want to permanently erase sadness over rejection….you can NEVER go back…. We promise…”

K.

I’m not buying it. Not just like I’m not buying that book. That too. But I’m not buying the nonsense they’re selling.

I don’t believe it’s possible or likely for most people but also, more importantly, I don’t want it to be possible. Even if I could, I would not permanently erase my emotions. Any of them.   I refuse to be a brick wall. Or a zombie? Or some non-human emotionless thing.

I believe that life is a gift. And that includes our ability to FEEL. To feel pain, grief, pleasure, heartbreak, hope, and healing. Anger, fury, joy, and happiness. Sadness and relief. To feel rejected and accepted, empty, broken, then whole.

Imagine walking around in a constant, static state of just one emotion. Whether the emotion itself is pleasant or unpleasant, the whole experience is not pleasant, in my opinion.   We don’t need dramatic mood swings but a little variation would be sweet.

Like the cliche goes, it’s easier to appreciate the good with a little bit of bad thrown in!

But not just that.

Unpleasant feeling emotions and sensations actually serve a purpose. We would be in trouble without them. They let us know something is wrong. They fuel us, motivate us, teach us. They keep us safe. 

Being peaceful and happy in general and having great control over our emotions and thoughts and actions or expressions is one thing, rarely getting worked up or angry is one thing.   A good thing! Permanently erasing “negative” emotions and never being capable of experiencing them again is something else.

Fear.

 Imagine a world without fear. Even if you could not feel fear, you likely wouldn’t be stupid.   You would still know what can cause your death and seriously hurt you and probably would mostly avoid it but you may still act more recklessly than when you can feel fear. Your judgment may be a bit off without a healthy dose of fear.

Crossing a busy street for example. I see the horror of people crossing recklessly too often. They don’t want to wait so they dash through the speeding traffic, trying to avoid getting hit. It’s horrifying to witness. Just horrifying. They usually don’t get hit, thanking my lucky stars. And these are people who can and do feel fear. So imagine if some of those very same people could not experience fear. They would probably be even more reckless with their lives and the lives of those people in the cars, not having their fear to guide them.

This is also somewhat philosophical because if you think about it, if a person is unable to experience fear then does it mean that person also can’t experience a certain degree of concern? Is concern just a much lesser degree of fear?

(like some physical discomfort is a lesser degree of full-blown pain…?)

When I’m standing at a street full of speeding traffic and I’m safely on the pavement, it’s not full-blown fear I feel or even a lesser sense of anxiety. I know I’m safe so there’s nothing to fear. However, I do experience a certain degree of concern, enough to hold me back so I don’t go flying into traffic in a hurry to get across.   Hmmmm…interesting.

My dad read a novel many years ago when I was a little girl, about a young woman who was born without the “fear gene.”. She never experienced fear a day in her life.   I was fascinated but never read it.   I remember my dad reading parts to me out loud.   The character said she does not fear death or injury but she would never jump off a bridge or anything as she still knows what that can do. She doesn’t fear getting hurt but doesn’t want it. I can relate in some ways. I don’t “fear” getting a paper cut but I don’t want it. (perhaps desperately not wanting something IS some form of fear??) I don’t fear having a broken bone as long as it’s only a minor break of a less crucial bone but I sure don’t want it.   I don’t fear any kind of surgery but would prefer not to have to undergo it.   I’m not brave, necessarily, for not fearing this stuff. I’m just not naturally afraid of it. Fearlessness is not courage.   Courage is feeling the fear but doing whatever it is anyway.   That’s what it is to be brave. Being fearless isn’t.   Like that quote about how superman isn’t really a hero in a way because he’s literally invincible, indestructible, the real heroes are you and me, who can be destroyed in many ways but still find it in us to go on, to take chances…

I’m assuming that fear means the full blown unpleasant feeling, not mere concern. The kind that makes you tremble, your heart pump like you want to run and run fast. There are different extents of fear, though, that I know of.

Some things I fear like that are: small closed in spaces, if I see someone nearly get hit by a car, if I think someone is about to die whether I know the person/animal or not, some amusement park rides (like the atmosfear – thing that drops) sleep paralysis, some hallucinations(I have psychotic depression), severe physical pain, going deaf(because of my facial pain disorder)…. and I used to be very fearful when my left arm would go dead because of my pain condition.   I learned to tolerate it and no longer fear it.

Some things I don’t fear only because I know they can’t or probably won’t happen like: if I was the only human left on Earth, jumping out an airplane with a parachute (would probably terrify me, not thrill me), losing my sense of vision for a while. Because of my pain condition, I sometimes lose my hearing, sometimes completely and some occasions almost completely and have since I was a little girl before I knew why. I was always too afraid to tell my mom. It’s recurrent and the deafness and partial deafness lasts all different amounts of time, sometimes hours to a whole day, off and on. I never get completely used to it no matter how frequently it happens. I’m not as fearful when it happens as when I was a girl and young woman but it’s still very scary to lose a sense. 

Physical pain.

Imagine no ability to feel physical pain or any sort of physical discomfort? You wouldn’t know when your appendix is about to burst. You may not know if you’re having a heart attack or if you’re cut badly in a place you can’t see right away.

I don’t know about the lack of fear thing but I know there are people living with this very rare pain disorder. They often die prematurely because they cannot feel physical discomfort at all and can stay in one position for many hours which can result in damage to the body. They don’t naturally turn in their sleep.  Unlike us with the ability to feel physical pain and discomfort, they have to learn when to move throughout the day and night to avoid muscle atrophy. We take it for granted and never have to learn. We don’t give it a second thought usually; we just mindlessly move at the first sign of pain or discomfort. 

Many of us have heard of “those people who can’t feel physical pain” but we may have some serious misconceptions of this disorder.  

They often don’t walk around exactly like people who can feel pain, with no extra problems. They have so much against them.  They suffer serious and sometimes even deadly consequences.

When they’re children, they are often blinded and chew their own tongues off. They don’t realize the teeth going through their tongues and their own fingernails slashing their eyeballs. Parents often don’t know they have this disorder until this trauma occurs.   They often have to have their teeth and fingernails removed or wear socks on their hands. Sometimes their eyes have to be removed because of the damage their fingernails cause. Many are in wheelchairs because of muscle/joint problems.   They often can’t sweat and they overheat.

We naturally, often unconsciously,  learn not to claw our eyes out and chew our tongues off because of pain & discomfort. No one usually has to teach us.  Unfortunately for some, they do not have that gift.

They CAN feel emotional pain and other physical sensations, like massage and skin on skin contact. 

They aren’t like those other people who have that other disorder and can’t feel anything physical because of some touch/feel/nerve problem/injury.  

Anger.

Imagine if you never felt anger. Not just being an easy going person who rarely gets angry and even when you do you control it well but imagine not having the ability to feel anger. I don’t know if anyone like this really exists but I imagine it can’t be all good.  I suspect that if we all of a sudden could never experience anger, we may run into problems we never realized could happen. Anger may be serving other purposes we don’t even realize.   We’re so used to having the ability we take it for granted.
Have you ever had something you never gave a second thought to then lost it and realized how much easier or better it really was making your life?

I know sometimes anger motivates me to act. To do what’s right. It fuels me to stand firm against things. For example, I remember an instance when I found that people were destructively criticizing me just to be unkind. I mostly felt paranoid and somewhat anxious and like a “victim” sort of.

But then anger crept in. But not the anger that destroys. That other kind.   The kind that builds, fuels, the kind that gives me a backbone. Not the kind that made me want to retaliate.   I did nothing at all to seek revenge on these people and did not care to but my anger for the situation helped me greatly.   I thought “What the hell!! Let them talk, whatever they say is up to them, anyone can be criticized for whatever reason true or not. If I really wanted I can criticize too, I can if I want, do the same to them, they are wrong.” But I let it go. I let my anger give me life, let me rise above, even if only in my own head, instead of being the spineless jellyfish I was at first. They did not get over on me. Even though I did nothing back and never will.

And I did not get over on them. I just let it be. But in an active way.

My anger reminded me that I am equal no matter what they say.   And anger, like fear, manifests in different degrees.   A mild annoyance to a passionate fury.

Anger motivates us. And if we use it appropriately, it will motivate us to act/think for the better. 

I want to be affected by the world and people, for good and for bad. I don’t want to build up walls. I want to feel as deeply as I can. If I feel unpleasant emotions as deeply as possible, I can feel the pleasant ones as deeply and experience the gift of life to the fullest.

Grief, loss, & rejection.

And about the pain of rejection and loss or grief. That shows us that one life or something impacted us. Touched us so deeply that we grieve over the loss or rejection. Don’t you want someone or something to impact you so deeply that it’s hard to say goodbye or hard to be pushed away?   It shows that we’re open completely and that we had something to cherish at one point. And reminds us that it’s possible to feel that love again. And again. And again….

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” ~ A.A. Milne

It’s so much better than being numb.

Guilt. Remorse. Regret.

So many people say “I have no regrets and never will.” Advising us not to regret or feel guilt. I agree to a certain extent.   It’s best not to dwell on guilt and regrets but it’s ok to have certain regrets and experience a temporary healthy level of guilt when we’re wrong. But we should (should in my opinion, I don’t like telling people what they ‘should’ do) forgive ourselves and move forward, not carrying a constant burden of guilt for life.

If we don’t have the ability to feel guilt and regret it’s possible, just like I mentioned about fear, we may occasionally act more recklessly. I’m not saying completely be a monster and destroy everything and everyone but guilt and regret can aid us in our actions sometimes.  

There are some occasions we may know intellectually that something is wrong but as long as we don’t feel guilt, emotionally, we justify it. 

For example: Some years ago, my sister and me went with my mom and dad on a fun trip to the Eastern State Penitentiary here in Philadelphia to learn about the old prison, historical facts and all. I saw a prison hoodie I desperately wanted. My sister did not care at first to get one as much as I did. But my dad bought her one since he bought me one. They are on the expensive side and I eventually ruined mine. My sister’s got packed away. When we were pulling stuff out to move, I found her’s. And kept it. Hoping no one would remember I ruined mine and just think that’s mine and hers went missing.   Lol! At first there was no guilt. I knew intellectually it’s wrong but emotionally I couldn’t have cared less. 

I’m generally not a thief and generally very honest.   And in most cases I won’t do wrong stuff knowing it’s wrong even if I don’t feel guilt with my emotion. Feeling guilt isn’t just knowledge of being wrong but feeling it. Feeling it emotionally as opposed to just intellectually.

But I justified this in all ways imaginable.   I told myself that I was really the one who wanted it. I wore mine more often than she wore hers til I ruined it. She did not care about it anyway, I told myself. She had it stored away.   I got away with it.

But as the days would come and go, guilt crept up on me. I no longer only knew it’s wrong. I felt it. It wasn’t mine.   Whether or not she really wanted her hoodie, whether or not I loved it more, the hoodie was never mine. I caved into my guilt and fessed up. My sister was pissed! She yelled at me and called me a lying thief who can never again be trusted.

And while the lying thief part was true for that occasion, it’s generally not. That doesn’t make it ok for that occasion but I did not let my guilt overcome me after I confessed. I admitted I was wrong and I eventually did what’s right.

My sister wouldn’t forgive me at first but I was able to forgive myself.

It doesn’t change what I did but at least I made it right, as right as I could after the fact.

A guilty conscience is good when you know you were really wrong! 

But you can cleanse it by confessing and moving forward. Accept that you were wrong. It’s not the end of the world.

I read a self help mediation book, I forget the name, and the author said whenever she did something wrong she would say to herself, to ease her guilt “I was wrong, so sue me!”. 

That’s great to a certain point!

We really shouldn’t go all out and do bad, destructive, immoral things though, just because we can say “…..so sue me!” But when we’re wrong and are genuinely sorry, we can move on or move forward.

I don’t dwell on regrets but having them is ok.

I wasn’t just wrong to my sister but to the universe, to life, to the world. I don’t want to be a thief, a sneak, a liar. That’s not who I want to be. I don’t  want to put that kind of energy out into the world.  It’s not who I am deep inside and when I act out of accordance with that, my conscience reminds me and won’t let me rest until I make it right.  I want to be true.   True to life and goodness and all that is right. I aspire to be all that is good and right and true. I won’t always know what that is. And occasionally I know different views will clash. What’s right to me may not be to someone else. What’s right in one situation may not be in another. 

But it’s ok. I will live and learn. Accept and forgive, myself and others.

I believe painful emotions are ok, good, healthy even. But in moderation. In a healthy balance.

They can also help us empathize with and understand each other better because we can draw on our own experiences. 

They’re inevitable at some points.   We don’t have to intentionally inflict them upon ourselves and others.

We don’t have to go searching for pain and negativity.   Anyway, there will be a plentitude throughout your days without searching!  

As Dr. Steve Maraboli says “When you hate something, you chain yourself to it.”

It’s true, in my opinion but it’s not to say “hating” is wrong or unnatural and that we should never feel it.   It simply means not to let the negativity get over on us by Dwelling on it. If you “hate” or strongly dislike something, let it motivate you to act for the better. Let hatred allow you to reach out in love. 

It’s true I experience heartbreak everyday. When I hear of a person or animal dying or being seriously ill or hurt, even if I don’t know those who die or are hurt or sick. When I witness someone suffering. When I read about tragedy or heartbreak. When I remember sad things. When I know happy things will end. It’s painful and sad but it’s not bad to feel this heartbreak. It means I’m alive.   Fully alive. It inspires and motivates me at a deeper level to reach out, to act out in love, to show greater compassion and provide consolation. To better understand.

To better appreciate all of life.

Let your painful and unpleasant emotions and feelings guide you in life along with your pleasant emotions and feelings and aid you in your actions. And let them remind you again and again that you are alive. And that’s a beautiful gift.

Xoxo Kim

When I Becomes We <3

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“You can be greater than anything that can happen to you.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale

I wrote a couple of posts here previously about Dr. Daniel Gottlieb, a Philadelphia psychologist. He is one of my greatest inspirations. He suffered devastating tragedies in his life and was able to rise above and help others. He experienced divorce, grief and loss, and suffered a tragic, near fatal  accident when he was thirty years old that rendered him permanently paralyzed, with a broken neck, afflicted with quadriplegia, which is paralysis, at the torso and all the limbs.   

He suffered with suicidal depression after that but found deep healing. He is able to use his life lessons to help people with various struggles, severe struggles and just every day life, “ordinary” struggles most of us face now and again. He has a young grandson with Autism who teaches Dr. Gottlieb so much about life.. He even wrote a couple books about the wisdom his young grandson teaches him.

I read his writings quite frequently and have a couple of his books. And tomorrow Dr. Gottlieb is having a book signing event at Barnes & Nobles in Center City, Philadelphia for his newest book!!! I’m so happy and thrilled!!! I’m going!!!

It will be so amazing to finally meet him in person after reading so much by him, sharing his inspiration frequently, and being deeply inspired by his life.

One thing Dr. Gottlieb teaches us is how we can connect with each other through our basic humanness, disability, illness or not, we are all human, all with basic needs and desires, a deep longing to connect. His lesson is not unlike Dr. Leo Buscaglia’s message about how deep inside we are the same, human and we can connect in many ways even when barriers prevent more advanced communication. 

Dr. Dan doesn’t even care much to be referred to as “Doctor.” On his business cards he writes “human.”

Another of his lessons is that no matter what happens to us and how much we grieve over what we lost, we can still find happiness in the midst of pain and grief. Sometimes he wishes desperately that he can walk again and dance and he grieves deeply over his lost abilities but he can still be happy just as he is.

It’s ok to grieve and feel a deep sense of loss and longing and those experiences do not have to taint our general happiness and wellbeing. They dont have to be mutually exclusive.

He is so very humble.   He doesn’t make his life or pain out to be better or worse than anyone else’s. He knows we all have struggles, some worse than others but no one’s pain should be invalidated.

Another lesson he teaches us is positivity. He cannot move much and therefore his urinary bladder does not work as it did before his paralysis.   He needs a catheter since he cannot empty his bladder as people without physical disability can. The urine goes to the catheter and that gets emptied. He doesn’t have to use a toilet. He likes to remind “non disabled” people and anyone who can use a toilet that while they’re getting in and out of bed all night to empty their bladders the “normal” way, he is sleeping peacefully in bed. Lol He says this in a funny and playful way! Humor is also a great lesson he teaches us.

I love his sense of humor!

He teaches us that there’s little bits of Heaven here on Earth, all around us. We don’t have to die or go on vacation to experience Heaven. We often long for a vacation and look in awe and gratitude upon the sunset and land when we are not at home. But wherever we are, we look upon that same sunset, the same sky, the same Earth. Beauty is all around us. Right here. Right now.  

He teaches us that everyone’s needs are “special.” We all have some kind of needs. We all are dependent in some ways upon other people and things.

He teaches us about the good hope and the bad hope. Hopefulness is good. But putting off current happiness and peace of mind hoping for “better” isn’t good. For a couple of years Dr. Gottlieb desperately hoped he would walk again even though it’s impossible.   He put his life and happiness on hold hoping for “better” but he eventually found healing and hopelessness. The good kind of hopelessness that is acceptance, letting go, and liberation. 

You can read about some of this here:

http://www.temple.edu/medicine/dan_gottlieb_visit.htm

He teaches us to just sit with and be with our emotions. Not to repress or deny them. Just be. And so much more he teaches us.

His new book is “The Wisdom We’re Born With (Restoring Our Faith in Ourselves).”. It’s about the importance of living in the present moment, connecting with our own emotions, calming the unquiet mind, breaking bad habits, and the importance of love.

http://store-locator.barnesandnoble.com/event/82835

Here is a beautiful poem by Dr. Daniel Gottlieb about how we are all connected, we are all One with each other. It’s called “When I Becomes We.”
Click the link to read:

http://www.drdangottlieb.com/2014/02/14/poetry-when-i-becomes-we/#

Here are a few lines:

“…when “those” people become “my” people

when the person in the street with a Styrofoam cup becomes my brother or sister

when every hungry child becomes my child

then I will cry more and laugh more and love more…”

Beautiful, isn’t it?!

I’m so inspired.   And I hope you have found some inspiration here too.

&

And keep smiling. There’s beauty all around you, everywhere, everyday.

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Xoxo Kim 😀

List of Jobs I would love to have! :-D <3

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Here’s a list for part of the 30 Day List challenge! I was searching for jobs of my interest online. I only work at a store right now which I love! But I also would love another job!

It’s hard to get a job with very little work experience other than working at a store!

List of jobs I would love to have! Ones that I’m qualified for because of the education I have (B.A. In psych and Phil) Not in any specific order

1.) Peer specialist – helping people with mental health conditions live a happy, healthy life. Using my own experience to help inspire and show empathy to others with similar conditions. 

2.) Mental health counselor 

3.) job in business – maybe marketing or advertising, working with teams helping a business grow and expand, helping members with personal growth and teamwork…
It’s hard though finding jobs available in this field because there’s so many, many scams for this topic. Some to rip off the person applying, others to use innocent, unknowing applicants to rip off others. Some people have been selected for the job only to find out later they were unknowingly working with a fraud company ripping people off, scamming and illegal  stuff!

4.) life coach – helping guide people on whatever journey they want to take like career, finances, other stuff..
– I need more life experience for this job though! I believe I have the potential and other skills for this job and with more of my own experience I would probably be great at it!

5.) working with special needs kids – I have so much love and patience which is something most people need but “special needs” kids often need extra care which I’m so ready to provide! I value every single person and understand that each and every person has their own unique gifts, struggles, needs, and desires and potential. And I can work closely with kids or adults to help with their own situations. 

6.) adoption consultant – I would love, love, love to help children and families find each other and expand their families, making the process go more smoothly and showing compassion and encouragement throughout.   This is one of the best gifts ever! A birth mother who isn’t ready for or doesn’t want any kids and selflessly gives her biological child a more appropriate family and an adoptive family opening their hearts to a child to give the best life possible and lavish all the love they have onto their new family memeber!   Yes, I would love to be part of that!  

7.) psychiatric technician – worker in a mental health hospital or department, assisting therapists and psychiatrists to help patients. They often work closely with patients and help them with recovery and stabilization and sometimes do fun, healing  activities  with them like exercises, arts and crafts, group therapy..

8.) paralegal/assistent – I have a B.A. In philosophy and I’m very interested in law and legal studies, took lots of law related classes in college and would love to try out a job of this sort!

9.) Server – I love my job at the store. I love serving people and preparing their orders, meeting so many different kinds of people.   Even if I had a counseling/paralegal/consultant…job I would love one or two days a week at a restaurant or cafe or something serving people. Nothing can replace that feeling. The happy families, the little kids, the amazing smiles when I make someone an ice cream sundae! It’s a low-paying job, not a real “real” job, not an important job but at the moment people come to the store, it’s important to them. It’s important to be kind and friendly, important to be attentive to their needs and desires, important to guarantee their satisfaction to the best of my abilities.   You probably wouldn’t think this but seven years of working at a store really, really prepared me for future work as a counselor/technician or whatever I will eventually become. It’s nowhere near as challenging as being a counselor for people with mental illness or children with “special needs” but I learned more how to interact with people and tend to their needs. I have more experience with compassion and patience. I have become less shy and more open. I have learned so much.  
There’s also the challenging struggle of doing what’s best for the business while also assuring the satisfaction and contentment of the customers. There have been occasions where the interest of the business and the interest of the customer has clashed and I had to choose. I am very people oriented so I tend to choose the customer.   Their needs trump the needs of the business. Now, I never put the business out but I do what’s best for the person first when it comes to it. Finding the appropriate balance is essential. 
Sometimes people want a small ice cream for their kids but in a large cup so it doesn’t spill all over. That’s against our rules but it is a very reasonable request.   I have been known to break that rule on occasion.  I have learned more because of this struggle.
Most of my experience here is very pleasant. 

While most of these jobs require a more advanced education like a college degree, I think that’s not even important.   What IS important is having love, empathy, compassion, understanding, and patience for the people we’re working with. No one needs an education or degree for that!
I loved college and learned so much and was able to grow in ways I wouldn’t have without it. Each and every class I took and each and every professor/instructor/teaching assistent I have come across opened me in various, deeper ways. I learned many invaluable things that impact me for the better today. Some I can’t explain in words but can just feel it. Many lessons I learned in college go beyond the classrooms and books and academic things.
College was for ME! I always loved school and learning. I was never a genius or straight A student or involved in all extracurricular activities but I did love the classroom and people all throughout school/college.   I would never allow myself to even miss a day of school if I could help it in K-12. No matter what the weather was like, no matter how much pain I was in, no matter how tired, no matter how much my mom tried to persuade me to stay home for whatever reason like unsafe weather. Or pain,  …I rarely got sick so I was able to go every day for many years without missing one day. And I loved it!
 Even though I’m in debt I don’t regret my choice to go to college! But I do believe most of the most important lessons I learned in this life are not ones I learned in school. And college is not for everyone.   I think the two most important reasons to go to college are if you know the job you want definitely requires a degree in college OR you are genuinely just interested in learning more, taking classes…not because you feel you need a college education because society or your family and others demand it. or because you feel like people who go to college have more of some sort of status(it’s nonsense in my opinion), not because of the social aspect. That’s my opinion though, it’s really up to you!   Some people have a true calling that doesn’t involve going to college and that’s just as great as the ones who have a calling which does involve it, like me.

You can get a job without a degree. It’s often harder but not impossible.   You can be just as intelligent without a degree as someone who has one. There are people who never attended college and know more than I do, have more money and impressive jobs! And it’s never too late to decide to go to college later no matter how old you are. You’re going to be that age anyway! So don’t let it hold you back.

I hope you will follow your heart with “big” decisions like this.   Not the heart of society or the heart of your friends or family.   YOUR heart. You can respect their suggestions and have gratitude for their attempts to help, while still following your own path. It’s your journey so be true to you. And it’s not the end of the world if you make mistakes or change your mind and realize college or a certain job really isn’t for you after you get in or if you realize it is for you and you’re doing something else. It’s never too late!   As long as you’re living. Remember no matter how long you have been traveling down the wrong road, as long as you’re alive, it’s never too late to turn around and begin again.

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Xoxo Kim

Thirty – Three Things I know for sure <3

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Here’s my list for Day #4! I have been planning a post like this even before the 30 lists challenge! Here it is! 😀

1.) “Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not.” ~ Samuel Johnson

It’s ok not to like people and not like things they do. But I believe kind is still the best way to be.  I’m generally kind to people and for the most part always have been, even when they’re unkind to me. Many people see it as a flaw or weakness or being naive. But I see it as a strength. I used to believe though, that when someone said or did something really unkind which made me very angry I should retaliate with more unkindness.  Not always but more than I should have. The older I got, the naturally more kind and compassionate I have become even to those who aren’t kind and compassionate.   There were still occasions I was so tempted to seek revenge or say something unpleasant to someone but I intentionally practiced more kindness and compassion, consciously making it my lifestyle, not just occasional acts. And the more I practice and mediated upon kindness, the more kind I have become. Sometimes I have setbacks though and I say something to someone that is less than kind, who does/says something that I don’t like and I later feel the guilt & remorse tearing me up inside. Kindness is always the way to go.

2.) Risking it all for love, pouring my heart out, reaching out in love….expecting/demanding nothing in return, is the way to be. I’m shy and it’s not always easy to reach out to help or compliment someone in person or online. Sometimes even people who aren’t shy may be somewhat hesitant.   “What if that person doesn’t appreciate my help or message?”. “What if I accidentally offend that person?”. “What if I come off as weird or come on too strong?”. “What if the person won’t like me?”. “What if someone just can’t handle too much sap in one message?”……All of these what if’s may come into our heads while contemplating reaching out to people in some way. And some of these what if’s may be real, maybe some people will not appreciate us or our acts of love and random kindness but…..that’s ok! I would prefer to reach out and not be loved, reach out and risk seeming weird or sappy than not reach out at all.   People don’t have to love me for me to love them!

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3.) Self – love and acceptance are important and are not the same as conceit and arrogance.   It’s ok to focus on and express your own beauty and goodness.

4.) it’s better to promote what you love than bash what you detest.

5.) “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ~ Rumi

6.) Sometimes intentions really are just as important or more important than actions. Sometimes people intend well but accidentally hurt or offend or fail to do what they tried for some reason. 

7.) The simple, everyday, mundane occurrences in life, tea with friends, reading a book, sunset and sunrise, hugging your dog, playing with your child, are just as important as, sometimes more important than the big things. The job promotions, the vacations, the celebration bashes…..

8.) it’s ok if life doesn’t always turn out how you wanted or planned. It can be just as wonderful, maybe even better.

9.) attitude and perspective is often much more important to our general happiness or misery than what happens in our physical environment.   It’s all how you look at it.

10.)  “A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.” ~ Elbert Hunbard

11.) no matter how long you have been traveling down the wrong road, as long as you’re alive, it’s never too late to turn around and start over.

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12.) getting older is a blessing. It gives us more chances to love, be loved, bless and be blessed, learn and teach, grow and have deeper wisdom & beauty.

13.) Gray hair, wrinkles, curves, and laughlines are beautiful.

14.) “Kindness is like snow; it beautifies everything it covers.”

15.) “He who is contented is rich.” ~ Lao Tzu

16.) being kinder than necessary is a strength, not a weakness.

17.) your true character is more important than your reputation.   Who you are matters more than what people think and say you are.

18.) “No act of kindness however small is ever wasted.” Aesop

19.) “I haven’t failed, I have found 10,000 ways that won’t work. ” ~ Thomas Edison

20.) “Where there is love there is life.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi  

21.) You can keep going long after you think you can’t. 

22.) “When the going gets tough, the tough get going. “

23.) “If you realized how beautiful you are, you would fall at your own feet.” ~ Byron Katie

You’re body is amazingly beautiful, all it does to keep you alive each and every day. To keep you healthy enough to live. Even when you’re sick, your body is working hard to keep you going. Think about it. Your heart pumps, your brain regulates everything, your temperature is maintained at a safe level…..your blood flows, your breath lives…

24.) “I may be lonely but I’m never alone. ” ~ Alice Cooper

25.) There are so many beautiful reasons to be happy. There’s always something to smile about. Always something to be thankful for.

26.) At any moment, we can choose to fall to pieces or choose gratitude. I learned this much deeper when I watched a video with Amy Gill, a girl who lost her twenty-four day old daughter to a birth condition.  

http://365grateful.com/

27.) at any given moment we can think of a list of reasons why our lives suck but at that same moment we can think of a list of reasons why our lives are simply amazing.   The choice is yours.  

28.)  Hopelessness isn’t always despair. Sometimes hopelessness is letting go, accepting what we desperately want can not or probably will not be, and letting go, moving forward. Hope is beautiful and essential but it can also hold us back if we aren’t careful. We shouldn’t put happiness on hold hoping for better or more.  I learned this better by reading things by Dr. Dan Gottlieb, a Philadelphia psychologist who experienced his own tragedies including the loss of people he loves and the permanent  loss of his ability to walk whe he was in a serious accident.

http://www.drdangottlieb.com/

29.) “You can be greater than anything that can happen to you.” ~Norman Vincent Peale

30.) Strangers are people with lives, stories, a breath, a face, and a name. They may not be someone you know or love but they are just as important.   They are still someone.

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31.) people can have strong opposing views including political and religious views.   We can not like each other’s decisions, actions, opinions, and other things but we can love each other and not judge a whole person for certain things. We can still be friends.

32.) “If the world had a front porch, like we did back then
We’d still have our problems, but we’d all be friends
Treatin’ your neighbor like he’s your next of kin
Wouldn’t be gone like the wind
If the world had a front porch, like we did back then” ~ Tracy Lawrence 

33.) “You don’t owe me a thing, I’ve been there too
Someone once helped me out,
Just the way I’m helping you
If you really want to pay me back,
Here’s what you do
Don’t let the chain of love end with you” ~ Clay Walker

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CBT Thought Record

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My therapist told me about a tool that can help us examine and pay conscious attention to our thought patters, particularly negative thoughts. It is designed to help us pay attention to a negative emotion and negative automatic thought that accompanies it. Then we think of evidence that supports that thought and evidence that does not support it. Then we come up with an alternative thought and in the end write the feeling we experience after that whole observation.

It’s called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Thought Record and comes in the form of a worksheet that an be printed off line.

 

I would like to share this technique with people.

 

It can also be done in a journal too.

It goes like this:

 

Section 1: Where were you?:

(Where were you?, What were you doing?, Who were you with?)

 

Section 2: Emotion or Feeling:

(Emotions can be described with one word. E.g. Angry, sad, scared, Rate 0-100%)

 

Section 3: Negative automatic thought:

(What thoughts were going through your mind? What memories or images were in my mind?)

 

Section 4: Evidence that supports the thought:

(What facts support the truthfulness of this thought or image?)

 

Section 5: Evidence that does NOT support the thought:

(What experiences indicate that this thought is not completely true all of the time? If my best friend has this thought what would I tell them? Are there any small experiences which contradict this thought? Could I be jumping to conclusions?)

 

Section 6: Alternative Thought: 

(Write a new thought which takes into account the evidence for and against the original thought)

 

Section 7: 

(How do you feel about this situation now? Rate 0-100%)

 

I will provide a true example of mine that I gave to my therapist.

 

Section 1: Where were you?:

(Where were you?, What were you doing?, Who were you with?)

On the sofa, reading and my mom was in the room with me.

 

Section 2: Emotion or Feeling:

(Emotions can be described with one word. E.g. Angry, sad, scared, Rate 0-100%)

 

Brief feeling of depression, strong negative emotion. About 90%.

 

Section 3: Negative automatic thought:

(What thoughts were going through your mind? What memories or images were in my mind?)

Negative thoughts and feelings and thoughts of failure and lack of accomplishment popped into my mind. I experienced memories of not accomplishing things I wanted to or planned to and memories of things I did wrong. And believing that I will never or can never accomplish much.

 

Section 4: Evidence that supports the thought:

(What facts support the truthfulness of this thought or image?)

It took me longer than it could have to graduate college. I still live with family and not on my own. I don’t have a professional job yet.

 

Section 5: Evidence that does NOT support the thought:

(What experiences indicate that this thought is not completely true all of the time? If my best friend has this thought what would I tell them? Are there any small experiences which contradict this thought? Could I be jumping to conclusions?)

It took me longer to graduate but I did graduate. I have a job and had the job for a while. I have accomplished other things and have the ability to understand and adjust to things. I would point out to my best friend all of the instances where s/he did accomplish things big or small. Every accomplishment matters.

 

Section 6: Alternative Thought: 

(Write a new thought which takes into account the evidence for and against the original thought)

 

I can accomplish things and will accomplish more if I am determined and do my best. Failing at something doesn’t make someone a failure as a whole and failing is ok, I can just try again and accept what I cannot change. Certain things take longer than others and everyone lives and experiences at their own pace.

 

Section 7: 

(How do you feel about this situation now? Rate 0-100%)

Much more positive and optimistic. Around 100%.

 

I believe this is a very positive and effective habit to develop. It can help us think objectively and see all sides of a situation and come up with more positive alternatives to self-limiting thoughts or beliefs.

 

Here is a link that can help guide you and explain more in depth about cbt thought records. The examples this page provides are slightly different than mine because I have not used this page’s examples yet, I only did this the basic way my therapist told me about.  

 

http://www.cognitivetherapyguide.org/contact.htm

 

I hope this can help some people! 😀

 

Xox0 Kim ❤