“Strong people don’t put others down…they lift them up.” ~Michael P. Watson
We should try to build each other up, not drag each other down. I have seen so many people who intentionally, consciously go around looking for and focusing on the flaws they see in people, even trivial ones like someone’s physical appearance and many of the “flaws” they point out aren’t even flaws, just differences. I believe that most people who are generally truly satisfied and happy with their own lives and self don’t go around trying to degrade and vilify others.
We all have something that someone else will view as unpleasant or as an imperfection or flaw. No one is absolutely perfect in everyone’s eyes.
I can even understand not liking a certain person but I have known people who negatively gossip and degrade everyone they can about every aspect of the people.
Sometimes when people would do something bad to me or talk negatively about me or make stuff up, I would seek revenge and do it back to the person but I have come to realize that that isn’t the best that I can be. I’m better off ignoring them or confronting them in a civilized manner. I don’t have to like people who destructively criticize me but I can handle it better than lowering myself to their level. The truth is, it’s not good to myself, that person, or the world around me to degrade anyone even if that person is doing something wrong. I think constructive criticism is often good but should be gentle and truly intended to help a person, not drag the person down.
I recently saw a picture on Facebook of a girl who is not very thin that someone put on so that everyone can make fun of her. There were so many negative comments, not one constructive, just cruel to try to be funny or hurt her.
I find that absolutely horrible that someone can want to devastate her like that. They don’t even know her. It wasn’t even like she did something seriously wrong to them. And even if she did, it wouldn’t be right.
But it’s even more weird that they would do that to a person just because of her weight.
I also saw recently on Facebook that a girl who is twenty-something posted a short list of goals she would like to accomplish.
Some of them are to make more friends, make more bead bracelets, paint her nails more, learn to drive, start a craft business at home….all simple things like that.
People vilified her for being so simplistic and called her pathetic and immature and said those are goals she should have had when she was a teenager.
They were comparing their busy, stressful lives to her laid back, calm, peaceful one.
I think that’s ridiculous because there’s nothing at all wrong with having simple goals even as an adult.
Being busy and stressed out isn’t better than focusing on the simple pleasures in life.
It’s up to each person to choose how to live.
We shouldn’t judge other people by our own standards or dreams.
It’s amazing to focus on the small things and be child-like and youthful. That’s not the same as immature.
Busyness and stress do not equal purpose or value anymore than peace and calmness, and simplicity do.
If someone is content with a simple life of simple goals and small things then that’s great.
What matters is that we all have a sense of purpose and happiness with how we live, not what brings us that happiness or sense of purpose. We’re all different and that’s a good thing.
People were also severely criticizing stay at home moms, saying they do nothing and throw away their lives slaving over children and housework instead of doing great things. And calling them lazy.
I also find this ridiculous.
If that is what their heart desires, to stay at home and care for their children, that is great that they have the opportunity to do that.
Just because that kind of life doesn’t appeal to some doesn’t mean it isn’t great.
Like I said, we should all do what we want, whatever brings us joy and a sense of purpose, not what others think we should do.
I have been negatively criticized by some for my frequent positive and cheerful attitude. Someone has actually called it “disgusting”.
I have also heard people call positive attitudes “immature”, “fake”, and “annoying”.
It’s ok for people to have those opinions even though I disagree. Being positive as much as possible does not entail ignoring negative things or repressing them, just not letting them drag us down or get to us too much.
I also think it’s wise and very mature to look at the bright side instead of frequently flipping out and reacting negatively to any little thing that goes wrong.
I am aware that negative things should be addressed and not always be completely ignored. But that doesn’t mean we have to obsess over them and dwell on them and get severely depressed over them.
I think we should absolutely focus on and bask in the small pleasures around us. They’re everywhere if we would just slow down to notice. We can’t always have big things that will bring us pleasure. We can’t always buy expensive things, or win the lottery, or go on a big vacation or have the job of our dreams and even if we do get those things, very often the thrill is diminished after a while when it’s no longer new. The novelty wears off and the thing is taken for granted.
The truth is we should take parts of our day everyday to feel gratitude for everything we have, big and small.
Whether or not we have those big things, the little things are there everyday and can bring us immense pleasure. ❤
The truth is if people feel the need or desire to attempt to drag others down for no specific reason and speak/write negatively of them the people very likely have a problem with their own lives and selves and they either don’t consciously realize or are too afraid to examine themselves and attempt to change for the better. So instead of negatively/destructively criticizing others, they should instead examine themselves and their own lives. That is way more effective than dragging other people down. Negative talking about other people is rarely productive or effective in a positive way.
It may bring the person doing the negative talking an initial sense of gratification for a few minutes or whatever but in the end it does not make that person a better person at all. In fact, I feel that when we degrade each other, in the process we are lowering and degrading ourselves. We’re not being the best we can be but instead sinking to a level we can be way above. Why not be the kind of person who uplifts and brings people up and sees the goodness and beauty in people instead of the “flaws”?
When people are unhappy and bitter in their own lives, they often feel relief trying to convince themselves that someone else is “worse” than they are. But whether or not that’s true, pointing it out about someone doesn’t make you any better than you were or better than that person.
Chances are, if you talk negatively about people, they will do it back to you and try to make you feel low, perpetuating the whole thing. This isn’t good for anyone.
We should allow other people’s beauty, successes, fortunes, happiness, and accomplishments to inspire and motivate us, not make us feel jealous and depressed because we don’t have what they have. We can all do something great for ourselves and others. Even something as simple as being uplifting and positive and encouraging. You don’t have to accomplish big things to be great.
Just being a great person with valuable qualities and characteristics is good enough.
If you are someone who feels the need to vilify people you don’t even know well or people who haven’t done this to you, you will likely benefit by examining yourself more instead of those people because this is an indication that you are unhappy or bitter about something in your life. Then you can work on yourself for the better.
It is normal and even ok to get a little jealous sometimes or strongly desire what others have. But when it’s so frequent or strong or interferes with your life or friendships/relationships with others then that’s when it becomes a problem. But the good news is that it can be helped if you focus on the goodness in yourself and cherish it and not let what you think are flaws make you feel low about yourself.
Let’s feel happy for ourselves and others who experience great things!! ❤
I’m extremely empathetic which is great but also has a somewhat negative side.
I take great pleasure in the success of others but I also take on the world’s pain.
I find though, that I absolutely love feeling thrilled for others as I am for myself when great things happen to them.
When we help others and uplift them, it makes ourselves feel wonderful.
🙂
“Tearing others down won’t get you any higher.”
A Dose of Inspiration 