Archive | March 2014

When I Becomes We <3

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“You can be greater than anything that can happen to you.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale

I wrote a couple of posts here previously about Dr. Daniel Gottlieb, a Philadelphia psychologist. He is one of my greatest inspirations. He suffered devastating tragedies in his life and was able to rise above and help others. He experienced divorce, grief and loss, and suffered a tragic, near fatal  accident when he was thirty years old that rendered him permanently paralyzed, with a broken neck, afflicted with quadriplegia, which is paralysis, at the torso and all the limbs.   

He suffered with suicidal depression after that but found deep healing. He is able to use his life lessons to help people with various struggles, severe struggles and just every day life, “ordinary” struggles most of us face now and again. He has a young grandson with Autism who teaches Dr. Gottlieb so much about life.. He even wrote a couple books about the wisdom his young grandson teaches him.

I read his writings quite frequently and have a couple of his books. And tomorrow Dr. Gottlieb is having a book signing event at Barnes & Nobles in Center City, Philadelphia for his newest book!!! I’m so happy and thrilled!!! I’m going!!!

It will be so amazing to finally meet him in person after reading so much by him, sharing his inspiration frequently, and being deeply inspired by his life.

One thing Dr. Gottlieb teaches us is how we can connect with each other through our basic humanness, disability, illness or not, we are all human, all with basic needs and desires, a deep longing to connect. His lesson is not unlike Dr. Leo Buscaglia’s message about how deep inside we are the same, human and we can connect in many ways even when barriers prevent more advanced communication. 

Dr. Dan doesn’t even care much to be referred to as “Doctor.” On his business cards he writes “human.”

Another of his lessons is that no matter what happens to us and how much we grieve over what we lost, we can still find happiness in the midst of pain and grief. Sometimes he wishes desperately that he can walk again and dance and he grieves deeply over his lost abilities but he can still be happy just as he is.

It’s ok to grieve and feel a deep sense of loss and longing and those experiences do not have to taint our general happiness and wellbeing. They dont have to be mutually exclusive.

He is so very humble.   He doesn’t make his life or pain out to be better or worse than anyone else’s. He knows we all have struggles, some worse than others but no one’s pain should be invalidated.

Another lesson he teaches us is positivity. He cannot move much and therefore his urinary bladder does not work as it did before his paralysis.   He needs a catheter since he cannot empty his bladder as people without physical disability can. The urine goes to the catheter and that gets emptied. He doesn’t have to use a toilet. He likes to remind “non disabled” people and anyone who can use a toilet that while they’re getting in and out of bed all night to empty their bladders the “normal” way, he is sleeping peacefully in bed. Lol He says this in a funny and playful way! Humor is also a great lesson he teaches us.

I love his sense of humor!

He teaches us that there’s little bits of Heaven here on Earth, all around us. We don’t have to die or go on vacation to experience Heaven. We often long for a vacation and look in awe and gratitude upon the sunset and land when we are not at home. But wherever we are, we look upon that same sunset, the same sky, the same Earth. Beauty is all around us. Right here. Right now.  

He teaches us that everyone’s needs are “special.” We all have some kind of needs. We all are dependent in some ways upon other people and things.

He teaches us about the good hope and the bad hope. Hopefulness is good. But putting off current happiness and peace of mind hoping for “better” isn’t good. For a couple of years Dr. Gottlieb desperately hoped he would walk again even though it’s impossible.   He put his life and happiness on hold hoping for “better” but he eventually found healing and hopelessness. The good kind of hopelessness that is acceptance, letting go, and liberation. 

You can read about some of this here:

http://www.temple.edu/medicine/dan_gottlieb_visit.htm

He teaches us to just sit with and be with our emotions. Not to repress or deny them. Just be. And so much more he teaches us.

His new book is “The Wisdom We’re Born With (Restoring Our Faith in Ourselves).”. It’s about the importance of living in the present moment, connecting with our own emotions, calming the unquiet mind, breaking bad habits, and the importance of love.

http://store-locator.barnesandnoble.com/event/82835

Here is a beautiful poem by Dr. Daniel Gottlieb about how we are all connected, we are all One with each other. It’s called “When I Becomes We.”
Click the link to read:

http://www.drdangottlieb.com/2014/02/14/poetry-when-i-becomes-we/#

Here are a few lines:

“…when “those” people become “my” people

when the person in the street with a Styrofoam cup becomes my brother or sister

when every hungry child becomes my child

then I will cry more and laugh more and love more…”

Beautiful, isn’t it?!

I’m so inspired.   And I hope you have found some inspiration here too.

&

And keep smiling. There’s beauty all around you, everywhere, everyday.

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Xoxo Kim 😀

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Thank You <3

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I want to thank Cindy Baker for re blogging one of my posts!!! And to thank everyone for liking it and all those who followed this blog!!! I have never received so many likes and follows here! A couple nights ago I was on my way to Applebee’s with my family and I received sooo many e-mails in an hour notifying me of all the likes and I really thought at first that someone was playing a joke on me! Lol!  I soon realized that many of Cindy’s kind followers read and liked my post!! I was/am thrilled! It’s so encouraging and uplifting! 

And thank you so much to all of the ones who liked/followed/shared/read within the last couple days however you came across this blog!

I love coming across and meeting new people! And I am so thankful for every person who likes/follows/shares/reads my content! I remember how thrilled I was when I first set up this blogging account and realized I had four followers!   Now I have quite a few! I created the blog for myself to collect/remember all the little things and life lessons that inspire me but I created it just as much to share with, inspire and uplift others in any ways I can.  

So thank you all soooo much!!!!

And please check out Cindy Baker’s wonderful blog if you haven’t already! It’s absolutely beautiful with beautiful poetry, quotes, photos, and thought provoking posts!

http://lesplaisirssimplesdelavie.wordpress.com/author/cynthiabaker00-2/

Xoxo Kim 😀

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Light of the World Award

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http://shethp.wordpress.com/2014/03/27/light-of-the-world-award/

I’m so very honored to have been nominated by   Sheth (http://shethp.wordpress.com/) for the Light of the World award!!!

How amazing!!! Thank You so much, Sheth for your kindness and nominating me and for reading my content! And also for shining your light on the world!

So, the rules are:

1.  Thank the person who  nominates you.

2. Honor the bloggers who spread life, love, hope , and peace in the name of all people.

3. Let your nominees know of their nomination.

4. Never give-up encouraging people and speaking truth.

I have many favorite blogs and ones I read frequently!! So I won’t be listing them all here since it’s like an endless amount!   But I have chosen a number of them to list!

Here they are!

Eliza Waters 

http://elizawaters.wordpress.com/about/ 

K Clips

http://383g.wordpress.com/about/

Finding My Inner Courage 

http://findingmyinnercourage.wordpress.com/2013/03/21/leap-from-chronic-pain-darkness-2/

Give Yourself Away Today 

http://gyatoday.wordpress.com/

Simple Pleasures – Visual Poetry 

http://lesplaisirssimplesdelavie.wordpress.com/

Etsuchan

http://etsuchan.wordpress.com/

Everything in about 200 words

http://about200words.wordpress.com/

A window of wisdom

http://awindowofwisdom.wordpress.com/

5 kids with disabilities 

http://5kidswdisabilities.com/

Students with birds

http://studentswithbirds.wordpress.com/

Eye For Life

http://eyeforlife.com/

Words Like Silk 

http://wordslikesilk.com/

Illicit By Nature

http://illicitbynature.com/my-story/

Bucket List Publications

http://bucketlistpublications.org/

That Indian Minimalist 

http://thatindianminimalist.wordpress.com/

All of these people make the world a much better place with their blogs and writing/photos!   They have so much depth, wisdom, and beauty that shines through the screen. They are extremely inspirational and full of light & life.  I hope you check out every single one of them as well as Sheth’s blog: 

http://shethp.wordpress.com/

I’m so thankful to be nominated for the award and to have come across all of these blogs and the many more I love, as well as all the ones I will stumble upon in the future!   Thank You!!

Xoxo Kim

My Inner Springtime

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I have been working on this for days! And here it is!! 😀

http://www.positivelypresent.com/2014/03/inner-spring.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+PositivelyPresent+(positively+present)

Positively Present(the link above), by Dani Dipirro, is a lovely little place on the net with an abundance of positivity and inspiration to bask in. I subscribed to her e-mail updates a while ago. She came up with a wonderful idea to create an inner Springtime.   You know how Spring is the rebirth of your world around you after what may seem like a long, cold, barren Winter? It can also be metaphorical for rebirth and inner growth, as you may already know.   I love Winter and every season. They all have their own unique beauty and blessings that the other three do not.   And I am blessed to live in a place with four beautiful seasons.  But the Winter cold can be painful and it’s hard to stay out long in that. To me, it often seems urgent like I have to hurry out of the cold after a while. It’s hard to walk and take photos in that weather while shaking in the frigid Winter air. I know many people just don’t like the gray.   And the Winter lack and the light can have a biochemical effect on the brain chemistry of people, contributing to depression or just a low mood.   I wouldn’t give up beautiful Winter for anything though! I like the cold, the gray, the bare branches on trees…

Every year I warmly welcome Winter

But

I also love when Winter melts into Spring and each year I am very ready for Spring as Winter is coming to a close. The sunlight, the warm lingering daylight, the blossoming green and scented flowers…. Dani Dipirro shares her list on her website for how to create our own little Spring no matter what it’s like out there. What a wonderful idea!

I decided to write my own list, trying not to steal any of her exact ideas! Lol   She has amazing ideas on her list! Be sure to check them out! Some of her ideas are: create a gratitude list, re-read a book, watch a Spring themed movie, play with a dog, cat, or child….

She inspires me so much, so frequently! 

Again, here’s her post with her list!

http://www.positivelypresent.com/2014/03/inner-spring.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+PositivelyPresent+(positively+present

So here’s mine!

1.) Try to think back to a song you once loved and listened to often then forgot all about it. 
Download the song and listen. Feel the emotions and memories come flooding back. If you need help remembering your song, think of different ages or stages, years, seasons that have come and gone. Think of old music bands you haven’t heard any songs by in a long while.  Can you remember any long lost songs? 
One of my favorite feelings in the world is rediscovering a beautiful song I haven’t heard in years!

Check this out:
http://www.bobborst.com/popculture/top-100-songs-of-the-year/?year=1964

It has a tab with a long list of years and you can choose a year and then read a list of top songs for that year!

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2.) Try to find a quote you haven’t heard of before. A quote about a topic close to your heart. Maybe a quote about hope and healing, love, gratitude, being and staying motivated? You can search for a quote book or just look online for lists of inspirational quotes.

Here, you will find a wellspring of quotes and inspiration: 
http:www.joyprogram.com

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3.) Maybe a little redecorating! Or Spring cleaning!   This will be a good one for me since I tend to get my room cluttered with books and clothes.   Set out things that make you happy, maybe Spring themed things like flowers, pastel colors, bunnies….

4.) Light a beautiful candle with a light fragrance if you aren’t allergic or have breathing difficulties.   Lavender, citrus, cotton or linen, cherry….MmmmMmm!!
Different fragrances are believed to be great for different things.   Lavender is good for depression and sleep disorders, anxiety and fear. Vanilla is good for stress, Lemon is good for sadness and grief, Clary Sage is good for fatigue……certain scents are just uplifting and can inspire a good mood!  
 Open your window, let your curtains blow in the gentle breeze and invite the promise of Spring into your heart. 
And check this out for aromatherapy mood blends:
http://www.aromatherapy.com/mood_blends.html

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5.) Do some random act of kindness for someone anonymously.   Maybe you know someone in need of some cheering up. Send an anonymous card or flowers, help pay for something…

6.) Pay someone a genuine and sweet compliment either in person or online.

7.) do an arts and craft project. My favorite is to write a quote or song lyrics and decorate it!

8.) Buy or download a book you are interested in and never read yet.

9.) Girls and men and anyone else who love/s to wear makeup and/or new hairstyles, try a new hairstyle/color or makeup look that you have been afraid to try, if that’s the kind of thing you’re interested in. I love makeup and hair and for makeup, I like trying different eyeshadow colors and stuff but my hair is always the same.   Either put up in hair ties or long and flowing around my waist. I never care to change the color or length/general style.  Some people do want to but need a little push. It can be scary thinking about changing a part of ourselves, even something like just a hair style/color which can be reversed and isn’t really a serious life decision.   Anyone contemplating any change, big or small, permanent or not can use some encouragement/support. But it’s ultimately up to you.

10.) Search for a new park or cafe or bookstore. It doesn’t actually have to be new. Maybe new to you or one you haven’t been to in a while.

11.) Step outside your comfort zone. Maybe read a kind of book you don’t usually read. Do an activity you probably won’t be good at. Try a new style of clothing, try food you never tried, try to learn a few phrases in a language you don’t know to speak good in, do something you feel way too shy to do, push yourself, I find that this opens me and I become less shy and more open to even more ideas….

12.) Live in the present moment. Here and now. For an entire day or part of a day, forget about later. Forget about tomorrow and what you “have” to do. Be grateful for THIS moment. Bask in the beauty of your life. Maybe you can mindfully watch a movie, eat something while savoring every taste, texture, sensation…, doing a mindfulness, walking meditation 

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13.) Reminisce about things long gone. Remember beautiful things, places, people, pets….you once knew.   Feel the beauty of love they fill/ed in you, feel the sting of loss, the sweet sadness of nostalgia….it’s bittersweet.

14.) Create a long list of all the reasons your life is amazing right now.   No matter what you want and don’t yet or will never have. Focus on the current goodness.

15.) Share a quote you love with someone. Anyone.

16.) Write a positive, uplifting, or thought-provoking message that can apply to people in general. You can sign your first name, nick name or not sign it and have more mystery.  Fold up the paper and leave it somewhere for a random person to find. On a seat in a restaurant or bus or train.   On a park bench, on a random house step(hopefully you don’t get flagged for littering! Lol you can tell them it’s my fault, I will take the responsibility lmao), on a shelf in a store, in the pages of a book in a used book store. It may seem kind of creepy but it may be just what someone needs to read. It can brighten someone’s day! It can be a quote or any short but sweet, positive, little message!

17.) Do something by yourself that you don’t usually do alone. A movie theatre, restaurant, buy yourself flowers…Love your own company! 
I often had trouble with this because I suffer with depression and there were some years where I had no true friends and was frequently, physically alone like in college some years , during the breaks in the middle of the day. While I love my own company and have fun alone and with people, even when I had true friends, being alone outside would make me depressed and sad sometimes and excruciatingly lonely.   But it’s amazing to learn to love and cherish your moments you have alone. You don’t always need people around to have fun and not be lonely. 

18.) Make a long list of things you like about you, physically or not. You may not consciously know you have things you like about yourself but look at you. Look within and look at your body. Maybe you’ll discover new things you like that you never realized. Think of your opinions, your compassion, your kindness, your eyes, your heart, your uniqueness,  Try not to think in terms of better or worse and just focus on what is.   Like how someone else has it better or that yours can be worse. Look at you currently and love you!  Also try not to think of it as being conceited. Self love is great! It may seem unnatural first but you’ll get the hang of it! 😀

19.) think of a habit you would like to develop and begin it now or tonight. Maybe you want to start going to sleep earlier, putting healthier food into your body instead of junk, take one hour or more a day just for you, learn about a new topic, exercise regularly…

20.) adopt a dog, cat, bunny, or whatever fur/feather/reptile… baby you want!

21.) Step outside and wonder at the incredible beauty and greatness that Nature is. And look at the incredible, beautiful structure of buildings.   Look at the veins in the leaves. Go weak at the knees at the astounding gift of life. Look at the sky and marvel at the colors, designs, textures, everything….tap into full awareness of your senses. Don’t just look and know. Feel. Feel at a deeper level. Fall into the depths of mindfulness and beauty. Come alive.

22.) do some stretches that are safe for you. You can find many tips and steps on YouTube. 

23.) Remember not to be jealous of or depressed over anyone else’s beauty or success.  You, too, have gifts and accomplishments.    There will always be those with more and those with less. And that’s ok.  Celebrate their fortunes as well as your own.

24.) try a guided imagery meditation.   I took a counseling class in college for meditation and used to do stuff like this in therapy some years ago.
Here’s one for pain byMagical Meditations:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rPtsVkfTEWY

This is the mobile link. It’s complicated to get the desktop link on my phone and it messes things up. I hope you can find it on your computer if you’re interested! 
I love this. It’s for physical and emotional pain. You can find ones on YouTube for pain, sleep, relaxation, gratitude, and more!

I love when the person guiding the meditation has a different accent than me. Lol

25.) search for an old/classic novel or play if you’re into reading and download it for free! They’re no longer copyrighted so you can find them free and legally online. Usually in text or pdf version!
Over 40,000 free ebooks here!!

http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/32707?msg=welcome_stranger

26.) find an obscure poem, drawing, painting, or something of that sort and try different ways of interpreting it! Or think of an opinion you have on something and try to imagine having a different or opposing view on it.   What must that be like? You don’t have to change your views but it’s fun imagining and also can teach us to develop deeper compassion and empathy.

27.) create a life philosophy if you don’t already have one! I can’t stress enough how much this has helped me heal and to be a better being than I have ever been. I haven’t written my entire life philosophy out yet, just parts of it. But I will write more. A life philosophy will help guide you on your life journey.   It can grow, expand, and change as you do, please don’t let it restrain you. It doesn’t have to be written in stone but write it in your heart. Make it strong and firm enough to hold you, guide you, and ground you when you falter and fall. Don’t let it imprison you but let it guide you. If you ever find that you outgrow your life philosophy, let your life philosophy grow right along with you.  
My basic life philosophy is to make certain thoughts, feelings, and concepts my general way of life as opposed to just feeling them occasionally or only when I feel like it or when it’s most easy and convenient for me.   It is designed by me to help me be the best me I can be for myself and everyone I impact in any way, not to be a perfectionist but to be better in ways that matter most.
Not to tell people what is best for them ever but to be sure my words and actions are always for the better and never to intentionally or thoughtlessly hurt, destroy, or drag people down.
  I choose to make kindness, love, gratitude, hope, and compassion my way of life. Even when it hurts. Even when people do me wrong. Even  when people are not kind and compassionate for me and others, even when they don’t appreciate my gratitude for them and return it. I choose to remind myself over and over how beautiful life itself is even when it hurts. I choose to never give up.   Not give up on life or myself.   All of these thoughts, feelings, and beliefs often come to us and are easy now and then but it’s so easy to crumble and give up on them sometimes. A life philosophy, to be effective to the fullest must be practiced and maintained every single day.   Like I said before sometimes I am so tempted to give up on it and it goes out the Window when I’m in serious pain but it’s ingrained in me enough so I always find my way back to it soon enough. Find quotes, songs, writings, blogs, books, people, memories….to confirm and help you nurture your life philosophy.  Meditate upon it. Write about it in blogs or journals. Apply it to your real life experiences.  
My physical pain disorder and my depressive disorder helped me strengthen and deepen my own life philosophy by testing me.
Just like a muscle when it’s exercised, it gets stronger. My life philosophy deepens with experience, both pleasant and unpleasant. 
This can help you so so much to be happier, stronger, comforted, and have your life more organized. 
Write down the basic tenets of your life philosophy today.
 I came across this idea because I attended college for Philosophy and graduated with the B.A. In it.   So many people say Philosophy is useless and no point in taking it in college. But I took it just for fun and it is not useless or just for academic purposes.    It can help us think more clearly and develop better reasoning abilities.   There are even self-help/personal development Philosophy books designed to help us apply philosophical concepts to our own lives.  Anyway you don’t have to know anything at all about the academic field of Philosophy or go to college to develop your life philosophy or even necessarily read a self-help book.   They can all be supplements.  And you can learn so much about philosophers and their philosophies online. Much of it is old and not copyrighted. 
We even have our own ten commandments! The Ten Commandments of Philosophy!
Check it out:

https://sites.google.com/site/degatzia/thetencommandmentsofphilosophy

But really, all you have to do is think of qualities you would love to have or strengthen in yourself.   Think of qualities you adore in other people, think of thoughts that help you. What are your values? Virtues? Principles? Strong beliefs? Think them through and put them together to develop the basic foundation of your own life philosophy.   As I have said though, it’s ok to change it when/if your core beliefs and values change but it’s good not to let depression, fear, pain, negativity change it in a negative way like make you decide to kick it to the curb for good or for too long. After it becomes your Way and is deeply ingrained in you, it will be much easier to live by.

I hope you will begin to develop your basic life philosophy today. You can add to it everyday.   It may always be a work in progress, not a complete destination.  Just like you yourself.   And that’s for the best. We’re always learning, evolving, becoming and it’s interesting that way!

Here’s an idea for a life handbook:

http://personalexcellence.co/blog/create-your-life-handbook/

Also, here’s a list of Philosophy texts online :
http://onlinebooks.library.upenn.edu/webbin/book/subjectstart?B

And for your amusement :

Unsolvable problems in philosophy/unanswerable questions 

http://io9.com/5945801/8-philosophical-questions-that-well-never-solve

http://a-misconception.blogspot.com/2010/09/list-of-unsolved-philosophy-problems.html?m=1

http://pespmc1.vub.ac.be/ETERQUES.html

And here you have free access to an online textbook “Introduction to Philosophy.”

http://www.qcc.cuny.edu/SocialSciences/pPecorino/INTRO_TEXT/default.htm

28.) Do you want to be wildly entertained and put your intellectual skills to use?!  And also be pulling out your hair?! You’re in luck!   Check out these fascinating legal puzzlers!! They will blow your mind. And seriously, they have no definite conclusions! You may think you have it all figured out but there’s always more thoughts and conclusions out there, it is tantalizing! And I wouldn’t have it any other way! ;-D In college, Temple University,  in my philosophy of law class, we were introduced to some of these!

http://people.brandeis.edu/~teuber/puzz1.html

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List of Jobs I would love to have! :-D <3

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Here’s a list for part of the 30 Day List challenge! I was searching for jobs of my interest online. I only work at a store right now which I love! But I also would love another job!

It’s hard to get a job with very little work experience other than working at a store!

List of jobs I would love to have! Ones that I’m qualified for because of the education I have (B.A. In psych and Phil) Not in any specific order

1.) Peer specialist – helping people with mental health conditions live a happy, healthy life. Using my own experience to help inspire and show empathy to others with similar conditions. 

2.) Mental health counselor 

3.) job in business – maybe marketing or advertising, working with teams helping a business grow and expand, helping members with personal growth and teamwork…
It’s hard though finding jobs available in this field because there’s so many, many scams for this topic. Some to rip off the person applying, others to use innocent, unknowing applicants to rip off others. Some people have been selected for the job only to find out later they were unknowingly working with a fraud company ripping people off, scamming and illegal  stuff!

4.) life coach – helping guide people on whatever journey they want to take like career, finances, other stuff..
– I need more life experience for this job though! I believe I have the potential and other skills for this job and with more of my own experience I would probably be great at it!

5.) working with special needs kids – I have so much love and patience which is something most people need but “special needs” kids often need extra care which I’m so ready to provide! I value every single person and understand that each and every person has their own unique gifts, struggles, needs, and desires and potential. And I can work closely with kids or adults to help with their own situations. 

6.) adoption consultant – I would love, love, love to help children and families find each other and expand their families, making the process go more smoothly and showing compassion and encouragement throughout.   This is one of the best gifts ever! A birth mother who isn’t ready for or doesn’t want any kids and selflessly gives her biological child a more appropriate family and an adoptive family opening their hearts to a child to give the best life possible and lavish all the love they have onto their new family memeber!   Yes, I would love to be part of that!  

7.) psychiatric technician – worker in a mental health hospital or department, assisting therapists and psychiatrists to help patients. They often work closely with patients and help them with recovery and stabilization and sometimes do fun, healing  activities  with them like exercises, arts and crafts, group therapy..

8.) paralegal/assistent – I have a B.A. In philosophy and I’m very interested in law and legal studies, took lots of law related classes in college and would love to try out a job of this sort!

9.) Server – I love my job at the store. I love serving people and preparing their orders, meeting so many different kinds of people.   Even if I had a counseling/paralegal/consultant…job I would love one or two days a week at a restaurant or cafe or something serving people. Nothing can replace that feeling. The happy families, the little kids, the amazing smiles when I make someone an ice cream sundae! It’s a low-paying job, not a real “real” job, not an important job but at the moment people come to the store, it’s important to them. It’s important to be kind and friendly, important to be attentive to their needs and desires, important to guarantee their satisfaction to the best of my abilities.   You probably wouldn’t think this but seven years of working at a store really, really prepared me for future work as a counselor/technician or whatever I will eventually become. It’s nowhere near as challenging as being a counselor for people with mental illness or children with “special needs” but I learned more how to interact with people and tend to their needs. I have more experience with compassion and patience. I have become less shy and more open. I have learned so much.  
There’s also the challenging struggle of doing what’s best for the business while also assuring the satisfaction and contentment of the customers. There have been occasions where the interest of the business and the interest of the customer has clashed and I had to choose. I am very people oriented so I tend to choose the customer.   Their needs trump the needs of the business. Now, I never put the business out but I do what’s best for the person first when it comes to it. Finding the appropriate balance is essential. 
Sometimes people want a small ice cream for their kids but in a large cup so it doesn’t spill all over. That’s against our rules but it is a very reasonable request.   I have been known to break that rule on occasion.  I have learned more because of this struggle.
Most of my experience here is very pleasant. 

While most of these jobs require a more advanced education like a college degree, I think that’s not even important.   What IS important is having love, empathy, compassion, understanding, and patience for the people we’re working with. No one needs an education or degree for that!
I loved college and learned so much and was able to grow in ways I wouldn’t have without it. Each and every class I took and each and every professor/instructor/teaching assistent I have come across opened me in various, deeper ways. I learned many invaluable things that impact me for the better today. Some I can’t explain in words but can just feel it. Many lessons I learned in college go beyond the classrooms and books and academic things.
College was for ME! I always loved school and learning. I was never a genius or straight A student or involved in all extracurricular activities but I did love the classroom and people all throughout school/college.   I would never allow myself to even miss a day of school if I could help it in K-12. No matter what the weather was like, no matter how much pain I was in, no matter how tired, no matter how much my mom tried to persuade me to stay home for whatever reason like unsafe weather. Or pain,  …I rarely got sick so I was able to go every day for many years without missing one day. And I loved it!
 Even though I’m in debt I don’t regret my choice to go to college! But I do believe most of the most important lessons I learned in this life are not ones I learned in school. And college is not for everyone.   I think the two most important reasons to go to college are if you know the job you want definitely requires a degree in college OR you are genuinely just interested in learning more, taking classes…not because you feel you need a college education because society or your family and others demand it. or because you feel like people who go to college have more of some sort of status(it’s nonsense in my opinion), not because of the social aspect. That’s my opinion though, it’s really up to you!   Some people have a true calling that doesn’t involve going to college and that’s just as great as the ones who have a calling which does involve it, like me.

You can get a job without a degree. It’s often harder but not impossible.   You can be just as intelligent without a degree as someone who has one. There are people who never attended college and know more than I do, have more money and impressive jobs! And it’s never too late to decide to go to college later no matter how old you are. You’re going to be that age anyway! So don’t let it hold you back.

I hope you will follow your heart with “big” decisions like this.   Not the heart of society or the heart of your friends or family.   YOUR heart. You can respect their suggestions and have gratitude for their attempts to help, while still following your own path. It’s your journey so be true to you. And it’s not the end of the world if you make mistakes or change your mind and realize college or a certain job really isn’t for you after you get in or if you realize it is for you and you’re doing something else. It’s never too late!   As long as you’re living. Remember no matter how long you have been traveling down the wrong road, as long as you’re alive, it’s never too late to turn around and begin again.

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Xoxo Kim

Lovin’ might be a mistake but it’s worth makin’

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Risk
“To laugh is to risk appearing the fool. 
To weep is to risk being called sentimental.
To reach out to another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your ideas, your dreams in front of a crowd is to risk being called naive.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To hope is to risk despair, to try is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken because the greates risk in life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing does nothing, has nothing, and becomes nothing.
He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love and live. Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave, he has forfeited his freedom.
Only the person who risks is truly free.”
-Janet Rand

I came across this poem recently and I agree with almost the entire thing. The only part I do not agree with is the “…and becomes nothing.” part. I get the gist of it but I would never call someone “nothing” no matter what. We are all someone.  

I always say that I find inspiration and beauty everywhere. And it’s true.   Many things inspire me deeply. But sometimes, on more seldom occasions, I find something that pulls on my insides. Like this poem. It’s a physical tugging feeling inside, like it’s literally pulling on me. These words speak to me so much and I know they will inspire me and guide me in all the days to come. Moments when I’m tempted to hold back. Hesitate and contemplate not reaching out or speaking up or not allowing myself to fill with hope out of fear of losing, falling, rejection, stumbling, someone not appreciating something I say/do……

But I will keep remembering to reach out anyway, love deeply anyway, be happy anyway, hope anyway, risk stumbling and falling, risk rejection, risk the indifference of someone I have much gratitude for, risk appearing stupid in front of others, risk people using things against me later that I reveal now, risk it all for love. Love for others, for the world, for myself, for life, for raw honesty and openness and sharing….

Risk it all to live deeply and truly. Risk it all to be fully alive. Pain, indifference, rejection, painful criticism, appearing to be something negative to others…all of these things feel unpleasant but they are part of living truly and deeply. They are sometimes the result of taking risks and I believe they are worth it.

We can close ourselves off to the world, shut up and shut down to avoid loss and rejection and other unpleasant things and we may succeed in that for the most part. But we will also succeed in not getting the most out of the gift of life. If we don’t allow ourselves to experience the depth of relationships with ourselves, others, life, and the world, we’re less likely to feel true loss and rejection but also less likely to experience the joy and depth of true love. If we don’t reach out to people we can often avoid rejection but at the price of avoiding true connection. Is it really worth the cost?

If we don’t share our opinions and stories with others, we will be less likely to be ridiculed and criticized but also be less likely to inspire and impact people and allow people to get to know us.  

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Repressing love, emotions, and our true selves accomplishes those things but at the price of not being fully alive.

And reminders now and then like this poem are so pleasant and joyous.

The painful struggles that come with taking risks can be used to our advantage. To help us grow and learn, teach others, and identify with others.

” Livin’ might mean takin’ chances but they’re worth takin’,
Lovin’ might be a mistake but it’s worth makin'” ~ LeeAnn Womack

Xoxo Kim

Thirty – Three Things I know for sure <3

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Here’s my list for Day #4! I have been planning a post like this even before the 30 lists challenge! Here it is! 😀

1.) “Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not.” ~ Samuel Johnson

It’s ok not to like people and not like things they do. But I believe kind is still the best way to be.  I’m generally kind to people and for the most part always have been, even when they’re unkind to me. Many people see it as a flaw or weakness or being naive. But I see it as a strength. I used to believe though, that when someone said or did something really unkind which made me very angry I should retaliate with more unkindness.  Not always but more than I should have. The older I got, the naturally more kind and compassionate I have become even to those who aren’t kind and compassionate.   There were still occasions I was so tempted to seek revenge or say something unpleasant to someone but I intentionally practiced more kindness and compassion, consciously making it my lifestyle, not just occasional acts. And the more I practice and mediated upon kindness, the more kind I have become. Sometimes I have setbacks though and I say something to someone that is less than kind, who does/says something that I don’t like and I later feel the guilt & remorse tearing me up inside. Kindness is always the way to go.

2.) Risking it all for love, pouring my heart out, reaching out in love….expecting/demanding nothing in return, is the way to be. I’m shy and it’s not always easy to reach out to help or compliment someone in person or online. Sometimes even people who aren’t shy may be somewhat hesitant.   “What if that person doesn’t appreciate my help or message?”. “What if I accidentally offend that person?”. “What if I come off as weird or come on too strong?”. “What if the person won’t like me?”. “What if someone just can’t handle too much sap in one message?”……All of these what if’s may come into our heads while contemplating reaching out to people in some way. And some of these what if’s may be real, maybe some people will not appreciate us or our acts of love and random kindness but…..that’s ok! I would prefer to reach out and not be loved, reach out and risk seeming weird or sappy than not reach out at all.   People don’t have to love me for me to love them!

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3.) Self – love and acceptance are important and are not the same as conceit and arrogance.   It’s ok to focus on and express your own beauty and goodness.

4.) it’s better to promote what you love than bash what you detest.

5.) “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ~ Rumi

6.) Sometimes intentions really are just as important or more important than actions. Sometimes people intend well but accidentally hurt or offend or fail to do what they tried for some reason. 

7.) The simple, everyday, mundane occurrences in life, tea with friends, reading a book, sunset and sunrise, hugging your dog, playing with your child, are just as important as, sometimes more important than the big things. The job promotions, the vacations, the celebration bashes…..

8.) it’s ok if life doesn’t always turn out how you wanted or planned. It can be just as wonderful, maybe even better.

9.) attitude and perspective is often much more important to our general happiness or misery than what happens in our physical environment.   It’s all how you look at it.

10.)  “A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.” ~ Elbert Hunbard

11.) no matter how long you have been traveling down the wrong road, as long as you’re alive, it’s never too late to turn around and start over.

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12.) getting older is a blessing. It gives us more chances to love, be loved, bless and be blessed, learn and teach, grow and have deeper wisdom & beauty.

13.) Gray hair, wrinkles, curves, and laughlines are beautiful.

14.) “Kindness is like snow; it beautifies everything it covers.”

15.) “He who is contented is rich.” ~ Lao Tzu

16.) being kinder than necessary is a strength, not a weakness.

17.) your true character is more important than your reputation.   Who you are matters more than what people think and say you are.

18.) “No act of kindness however small is ever wasted.” Aesop

19.) “I haven’t failed, I have found 10,000 ways that won’t work. ” ~ Thomas Edison

20.) “Where there is love there is life.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi  

21.) You can keep going long after you think you can’t. 

22.) “When the going gets tough, the tough get going. “

23.) “If you realized how beautiful you are, you would fall at your own feet.” ~ Byron Katie

You’re body is amazingly beautiful, all it does to keep you alive each and every day. To keep you healthy enough to live. Even when you’re sick, your body is working hard to keep you going. Think about it. Your heart pumps, your brain regulates everything, your temperature is maintained at a safe level…..your blood flows, your breath lives…

24.) “I may be lonely but I’m never alone. ” ~ Alice Cooper

25.) There are so many beautiful reasons to be happy. There’s always something to smile about. Always something to be thankful for.

26.) At any moment, we can choose to fall to pieces or choose gratitude. I learned this much deeper when I watched a video with Amy Gill, a girl who lost her twenty-four day old daughter to a birth condition.  

http://365grateful.com/

27.) at any given moment we can think of a list of reasons why our lives suck but at that same moment we can think of a list of reasons why our lives are simply amazing.   The choice is yours.  

28.)  Hopelessness isn’t always despair. Sometimes hopelessness is letting go, accepting what we desperately want can not or probably will not be, and letting go, moving forward. Hope is beautiful and essential but it can also hold us back if we aren’t careful. We shouldn’t put happiness on hold hoping for better or more.  I learned this better by reading things by Dr. Dan Gottlieb, a Philadelphia psychologist who experienced his own tragedies including the loss of people he loves and the permanent  loss of his ability to walk whe he was in a serious accident.

http://www.drdangottlieb.com/

29.) “You can be greater than anything that can happen to you.” ~Norman Vincent Peale

30.) Strangers are people with lives, stories, a breath, a face, and a name. They may not be someone you know or love but they are just as important.   They are still someone.

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31.) people can have strong opposing views including political and religious views.   We can not like each other’s decisions, actions, opinions, and other things but we can love each other and not judge a whole person for certain things. We can still be friends.

32.) “If the world had a front porch, like we did back then
We’d still have our problems, but we’d all be friends
Treatin’ your neighbor like he’s your next of kin
Wouldn’t be gone like the wind
If the world had a front porch, like we did back then” ~ Tracy Lawrence 

33.) “You don’t owe me a thing, I’ve been there too
Someone once helped me out,
Just the way I’m helping you
If you really want to pay me back,
Here’s what you do
Don’t let the chain of love end with you” ~ Clay Walker

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