When I Becomes We <3

“You can be greater than anything that can happen to you.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale

I wrote a couple of posts here previously about Dr. Daniel Gottlieb, a Philadelphia psychologist. He is one of my greatest inspirations. He suffered devastating tragedies in his life and was able to rise above and help others. He experienced divorce, grief and loss, and suffered a tragic, near fatal  accident when he was thirty years old that rendered him permanently paralyzed, with a broken neck, afflicted with quadriplegia, which is paralysis, at the torso and all the limbs.   

He suffered with suicidal depression after that but found deep healing. He is able to use his life lessons to help people with various struggles, severe struggles and just every day life, “ordinary” struggles most of us face now and again. He has a young grandson with Autism who teaches Dr. Gottlieb so much about life.. He even wrote a couple books about the wisdom his young grandson teaches him.

I read his writings quite frequently and have a couple of his books. And tomorrow Dr. Gottlieb is having a book signing event at Barnes & Nobles in Center City, Philadelphia for his newest book!!! I’m so happy and thrilled!!! I’m going!!!

It will be so amazing to finally meet him in person after reading so much by him, sharing his inspiration frequently, and being deeply inspired by his life.

One thing Dr. Gottlieb teaches us is how we can connect with each other through our basic humanness, disability, illness or not, we are all human, all with basic needs and desires, a deep longing to connect. His lesson is not unlike Dr. Leo Buscaglia’s message about how deep inside we are the same, human and we can connect in many ways even when barriers prevent more advanced communication. 

Dr. Dan doesn’t even care much to be referred to as “Doctor.” On his business cards he writes “human.”

Another of his lessons is that no matter what happens to us and how much we grieve over what we lost, we can still find happiness in the midst of pain and grief. Sometimes he wishes desperately that he can walk again and dance and he grieves deeply over his lost abilities but he can still be happy just as he is.

It’s ok to grieve and feel a deep sense of loss and longing and those experiences do not have to taint our general happiness and wellbeing. They dont have to be mutually exclusive.

He is so very humble.   He doesn’t make his life or pain out to be better or worse than anyone else’s. He knows we all have struggles, some worse than others but no one’s pain should be invalidated.

Another lesson he teaches us is positivity. He cannot move much and therefore his urinary bladder does not work as it did before his paralysis.   He needs a catheter since he cannot empty his bladder as people without physical disability can. The urine goes to the catheter and that gets emptied. He doesn’t have to use a toilet. He likes to remind “non disabled” people and anyone who can use a toilet that while they’re getting in and out of bed all night to empty their bladders the “normal” way, he is sleeping peacefully in bed. Lol He says this in a funny and playful way! Humor is also a great lesson he teaches us.

I love his sense of humor!

He teaches us that there’s little bits of Heaven here on Earth, all around us. We don’t have to die or go on vacation to experience Heaven. We often long for a vacation and look in awe and gratitude upon the sunset and land when we are not at home. But wherever we are, we look upon that same sunset, the same sky, the same Earth. Beauty is all around us. Right here. Right now.  

He teaches us that everyone’s needs are “special.” We all have some kind of needs. We all are dependent in some ways upon other people and things.

He teaches us about the good hope and the bad hope. Hopefulness is good. But putting off current happiness and peace of mind hoping for “better” isn’t good. For a couple of years Dr. Gottlieb desperately hoped he would walk again even though it’s impossible.   He put his life and happiness on hold hoping for “better” but he eventually found healing and hopelessness. The good kind of hopelessness that is acceptance, letting go, and liberation. 

You can read about some of this here:

http://www.temple.edu/medicine/dan_gottlieb_visit.htm

He teaches us to just sit with and be with our emotions. Not to repress or deny them. Just be. And so much more he teaches us.

His new book is “The Wisdom We’re Born With (Restoring Our Faith in Ourselves).”. It’s about the importance of living in the present moment, connecting with our own emotions, calming the unquiet mind, breaking bad habits, and the importance of love.

http://store-locator.barnesandnoble.com/event/82835

Here is a beautiful poem by Dr. Daniel Gottlieb about how we are all connected, we are all One with each other. It’s called “When I Becomes We.”
Click the link to read:

http://www.drdangottlieb.com/2014/02/14/poetry-when-i-becomes-we/#

Here are a few lines:

“…when “those” people become “my” people

when the person in the street with a Styrofoam cup becomes my brother or sister

when every hungry child becomes my child

then I will cry more and laugh more and love more…”

Beautiful, isn’t it?!

I’m so inspired.   And I hope you have found some inspiration here too.

&

And keep smiling. There’s beauty all around you, everywhere, everyday.

Xoxo Kim 😀

Thank You <3

I want to thank Cindy Baker for re blogging one of my posts!!! And to thank everyone for liking it and all those who followed this blog!!! I have never received so many likes and follows here! A couple nights ago I was on my way to Applebee’s with my family and I received sooo many e-mails in an hour notifying me of all the likes and I really thought at first that someone was playing a joke on me! Lol!  I soon realized that many of Cindy’s kind followers read and liked my post!! I was/am thrilled! It’s so encouraging and uplifting! 

And thank you so much to all of the ones who liked/followed/shared/read within the last couple days however you came across this blog!

I love coming across and meeting new people! And I am so thankful for every person who likes/follows/shares/reads my content! I remember how thrilled I was when I first set up this blogging account and realized I had four followers!   Now I have quite a few! I created the blog for myself to collect/remember all the little things and life lessons that inspire me but I created it just as much to share with, inspire and uplift others in any ways I can.  

So thank you all soooo much!!!!

And please check out Cindy Baker’s wonderful blog if you haven’t already! It’s absolutely beautiful with beautiful poetry, quotes, photos, and thought provoking posts!

http://lesplaisirssimplesdelavie.wordpress.com/author/cynthiabaker00-2/

Xoxo Kim 😀

Light of the World Award

http://shethp.wordpress.com/2014/03/27/light-of-the-world-award/

I’m so very honored to have been nominated by   Sheth (http://shethp.wordpress.com/) for the Light of the World award!!!

How amazing!!! Thank You so much, Sheth for your kindness and nominating me and for reading my content! And also for shining your light on the world!

So, the rules are:

1.  Thank the person who  nominates you.

2. Honor the bloggers who spread life, love, hope , and peace in the name of all people.

3. Let your nominees know of their nomination.

4. Never give-up encouraging people and speaking truth.

I have many favorite blogs and ones I read frequently!! So I won’t be listing them all here since it’s like an endless amount!   But I have chosen a number of them to list!

Here they are!

Eliza Waters 

http://elizawaters.wordpress.com/about/ 

K Clips

http://383g.wordpress.com/about/

Finding My Inner Courage 

http://findingmyinnercourage.wordpress.com/2013/03/21/leap-from-chronic-pain-darkness-2/

Give Yourself Away Today 

http://gyatoday.wordpress.com/

Simple Pleasures – Visual Poetry 

http://lesplaisirssimplesdelavie.wordpress.com/

Etsuchan

http://etsuchan.wordpress.com/

Everything in about 200 words

http://about200words.wordpress.com/

A window of wisdom

http://awindowofwisdom.wordpress.com/

5 kids with disabilities 

http://5kidswdisabilities.com/

Students with birds

http://studentswithbirds.wordpress.com/

Eye For Life

http://eyeforlife.com/

Words Like Silk 

http://wordslikesilk.com/

Illicit By Nature

http://illicitbynature.com/my-story/

Bucket List Publications

http://bucketlistpublications.org/

That Indian Minimalist 

http://thatindianminimalist.wordpress.com/

All of these people make the world a much better place with their blogs and writing/photos!   They have so much depth, wisdom, and beauty that shines through the screen. They are extremely inspirational and full of light & life.  I hope you check out every single one of them as well as Sheth’s blog: 

http://shethp.wordpress.com/

I’m so thankful to be nominated for the award and to have come across all of these blogs and the many more I love, as well as all the ones I will stumble upon in the future!   Thank You!!

Xoxo Kim

My Inner Springtime

I have been working on this for days! And here it is!! 😀

http://www.positivelypresent.com/2014/03/inner-spring.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+PositivelyPresent+(positively+present)

Positively Present(the link above), by Dani Dipirro, is a lovely little place on the net with an abundance of positivity and inspiration to bask in. I subscribed to her e-mail updates a while ago. She came up with a wonderful idea to create an inner Springtime.   You know how Spring is the rebirth of your world around you after what may seem like a long, cold, barren Winter? It can also be metaphorical for rebirth and inner growth, as you may already know.   I love Winter and every season. They all have their own unique beauty and blessings that the other three do not.   And I am blessed to live in a place with four beautiful seasons.  But the Winter cold can be painful and it’s hard to stay out long in that. To me, it often seems urgent like I have to hurry out of the cold after a while. It’s hard to walk and take photos in that weather while shaking in the frigid Winter air. I know many people just don’t like the gray.   And the Winter lack and the light can have a biochemical effect on the brain chemistry of people, contributing to depression or just a low mood.   I wouldn’t give up beautiful Winter for anything though! I like the cold, the gray, the bare branches on trees…

Every year I warmly welcome Winter

But

I also love when Winter melts into Spring and each year I am very ready for Spring as Winter is coming to a close. The sunlight, the warm lingering daylight, the blossoming green and scented flowers…. Dani Dipirro shares her list on her website for how to create our own little Spring no matter what it’s like out there. What a wonderful idea!

I decided to write my own list, trying not to steal any of her exact ideas! Lol   She has amazing ideas on her list! Be sure to check them out! Some of her ideas are: create a gratitude list, re-read a book, watch a Spring themed movie, play with a dog, cat, or child….

She inspires me so much, so frequently! 

Again, here’s her post with her list!

http://www.positivelypresent.com/2014/03/inner-spring.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+PositivelyPresent+(positively+present

So here’s mine!

1.) Try to think back to a song you once loved and listened to often then forgot all about it. 
Download the song and listen. Feel the emotions and memories come flooding back. If you need help remembering your song, think of different ages or stages, years, seasons that have come and gone. Think of old music bands you haven’t heard any songs by in a long while.  Can you remember any long lost songs? 
One of my favorite feelings in the world is rediscovering a beautiful song I haven’t heard in years!

Check this out:
http://www.bobborst.com/popculture/top-100-songs-of-the-year/?year=1964

It has a tab with a long list of years and you can choose a year and then read a list of top songs for that year!

2.) Try to find a quote you haven’t heard of before. A quote about a topic close to your heart. Maybe a quote about hope and healing, love, gratitude, being and staying motivated? You can search for a quote book or just look online for lists of inspirational quotes.

Here, you will find a wellspring of quotes and inspiration: 
http:www.joyprogram.com

3.) Maybe a little redecorating! Or Spring cleaning!   This will be a good one for me since I tend to get my room cluttered with books and clothes.   Set out things that make you happy, maybe Spring themed things like flowers, pastel colors, bunnies….

4.) Light a beautiful candle with a light fragrance if you aren’t allergic or have breathing difficulties.   Lavender, citrus, cotton or linen, cherry….MmmmMmm!!
Different fragrances are believed to be great for different things.   Lavender is good for depression and sleep disorders, anxiety and fear. Vanilla is good for stress, Lemon is good for sadness and grief, Clary Sage is good for fatigue……certain scents are just uplifting and can inspire a good mood!  
 Open your window, let your curtains blow in the gentle breeze and invite the promise of Spring into your heart. 
And check this out for aromatherapy mood blends:
http://www.aromatherapy.com/mood_blends.html

5.) Do some random act of kindness for someone anonymously.   Maybe you know someone in need of some cheering up. Send an anonymous card or flowers, help pay for something…

6.) Pay someone a genuine and sweet compliment either in person or online.

7.) do an arts and craft project. My favorite is to write a quote or song lyrics and decorate it!

8.) Buy or download a book you are interested in and never read yet.

9.) Girls and men and anyone else who love/s to wear makeup and/or new hairstyles, try a new hairstyle/color or makeup look that you have been afraid to try, if that’s the kind of thing you’re interested in. I love makeup and hair and for makeup, I like trying different eyeshadow colors and stuff but my hair is always the same.   Either put up in hair ties or long and flowing around my waist. I never care to change the color or length/general style.  Some people do want to but need a little push. It can be scary thinking about changing a part of ourselves, even something like just a hair style/color which can be reversed and isn’t really a serious life decision.   Anyone contemplating any change, big or small, permanent or not can use some encouragement/support. But it’s ultimately up to you.

10.) Search for a new park or cafe or bookstore. It doesn’t actually have to be new. Maybe new to you or one you haven’t been to in a while.

11.) Step outside your comfort zone. Maybe read a kind of book you don’t usually read. Do an activity you probably won’t be good at. Try a new style of clothing, try food you never tried, try to learn a few phrases in a language you don’t know to speak good in, do something you feel way too shy to do, push yourself, I find that this opens me and I become less shy and more open to even more ideas….

12.) Live in the present moment. Here and now. For an entire day or part of a day, forget about later. Forget about tomorrow and what you “have” to do. Be grateful for THIS moment. Bask in the beauty of your life. Maybe you can mindfully watch a movie, eat something while savoring every taste, texture, sensation…, doing a mindfulness, walking meditation 

13.) Reminisce about things long gone. Remember beautiful things, places, people, pets….you once knew.   Feel the beauty of love they fill/ed in you, feel the sting of loss, the sweet sadness of nostalgia….it’s bittersweet.

14.) Create a long list of all the reasons your life is amazing right now.   No matter what you want and don’t yet or will never have. Focus on the current goodness.

15.) Share a quote you love with someone. Anyone.

16.) Write a positive, uplifting, or thought-provoking message that can apply to people in general. You can sign your first name, nick name or not sign it and have more mystery.  Fold up the paper and leave it somewhere for a random person to find. On a seat in a restaurant or bus or train.   On a park bench, on a random house step(hopefully you don’t get flagged for littering! Lol you can tell them it’s my fault, I will take the responsibility lmao), on a shelf in a store, in the pages of a book in a used book store. It may seem kind of creepy but it may be just what someone needs to read. It can brighten someone’s day! It can be a quote or any short but sweet, positive, little message!

17.) Do something by yourself that you don’t usually do alone. A movie theatre, restaurant, buy yourself flowers…Love your own company! 
I often had trouble with this because I suffer with depression and there were some years where I had no true friends and was frequently, physically alone like in college some years , during the breaks in the middle of the day. While I love my own company and have fun alone and with people, even when I had true friends, being alone outside would make me depressed and sad sometimes and excruciatingly lonely.   But it’s amazing to learn to love and cherish your moments you have alone. You don’t always need people around to have fun and not be lonely. 

18.) Make a long list of things you like about you, physically or not. You may not consciously know you have things you like about yourself but look at you. Look within and look at your body. Maybe you’ll discover new things you like that you never realized. Think of your opinions, your compassion, your kindness, your eyes, your heart, your uniqueness,  Try not to think in terms of better or worse and just focus on what is.   Like how someone else has it better or that yours can be worse. Look at you currently and love you!  Also try not to think of it as being conceited. Self love is great! It may seem unnatural first but you’ll get the hang of it! 😀

19.) think of a habit you would like to develop and begin it now or tonight. Maybe you want to start going to sleep earlier, putting healthier food into your body instead of junk, take one hour or more a day just for you, learn about a new topic, exercise regularly…

20.) adopt a dog, cat, bunny, or whatever fur/feather/reptile… baby you want!

21.) Step outside and wonder at the incredible beauty and greatness that Nature is. And look at the incredible, beautiful structure of buildings.   Look at the veins in the leaves. Go weak at the knees at the astounding gift of life. Look at the sky and marvel at the colors, designs, textures, everything….tap into full awareness of your senses. Don’t just look and know. Feel. Feel at a deeper level. Fall into the depths of mindfulness and beauty. Come alive.

22.) do some stretches that are safe for you. You can find many tips and steps on YouTube. 

23.) Remember not to be jealous of or depressed over anyone else’s beauty or success.  You, too, have gifts and accomplishments.    There will always be those with more and those with less. And that’s ok.  Celebrate their fortunes as well as your own.

24.) try a guided imagery meditation.   I took a counseling class in college for meditation and used to do stuff like this in therapy some years ago.
Here’s one for pain byMagical Meditations:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rPtsVkfTEWY

This is the mobile link. It’s complicated to get the desktop link on my phone and it messes things up. I hope you can find it on your computer if you’re interested! 
I love this. It’s for physical and emotional pain. You can find ones on YouTube for pain, sleep, relaxation, gratitude, and more!

I love when the person guiding the meditation has a different accent than me. Lol

25.) search for an old/classic novel or play if you’re into reading and download it for free! They’re no longer copyrighted so you can find them free and legally online. Usually in text or pdf version!
Over 40,000 free ebooks here!!

http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/32707?msg=welcome_stranger

26.) find an obscure poem, drawing, painting, or something of that sort and try different ways of interpreting it! Or think of an opinion you have on something and try to imagine having a different or opposing view on it.   What must that be like? You don’t have to change your views but it’s fun imagining and also can teach us to develop deeper compassion and empathy.

27.) create a life philosophy if you don’t already have one! I can’t stress enough how much this has helped me heal and to be a better being than I have ever been. I haven’t written my entire life philosophy out yet, just parts of it. But I will write more. A life philosophy will help guide you on your life journey.   It can grow, expand, and change as you do, please don’t let it restrain you. It doesn’t have to be written in stone but write it in your heart. Make it strong and firm enough to hold you, guide you, and ground you when you falter and fall. Don’t let it imprison you but let it guide you. If you ever find that you outgrow your life philosophy, let your life philosophy grow right along with you.  
My basic life philosophy is to make certain thoughts, feelings, and concepts my general way of life as opposed to just feeling them occasionally or only when I feel like it or when it’s most easy and convenient for me.   It is designed by me to help me be the best me I can be for myself and everyone I impact in any way, not to be a perfectionist but to be better in ways that matter most.
Not to tell people what is best for them ever but to be sure my words and actions are always for the better and never to intentionally or thoughtlessly hurt, destroy, or drag people down.
  I choose to make kindness, love, gratitude, hope, and compassion my way of life. Even when it hurts. Even when people do me wrong. Even  when people are not kind and compassionate for me and others, even when they don’t appreciate my gratitude for them and return it. I choose to remind myself over and over how beautiful life itself is even when it hurts. I choose to never give up.   Not give up on life or myself.   All of these thoughts, feelings, and beliefs often come to us and are easy now and then but it’s so easy to crumble and give up on them sometimes. A life philosophy, to be effective to the fullest must be practiced and maintained every single day.   Like I said before sometimes I am so tempted to give up on it and it goes out the Window when I’m in serious pain but it’s ingrained in me enough so I always find my way back to it soon enough. Find quotes, songs, writings, blogs, books, people, memories….to confirm and help you nurture your life philosophy.  Meditate upon it. Write about it in blogs or journals. Apply it to your real life experiences.  
My physical pain disorder and my depressive disorder helped me strengthen and deepen my own life philosophy by testing me.
Just like a muscle when it’s exercised, it gets stronger. My life philosophy deepens with experience, both pleasant and unpleasant. 
This can help you so so much to be happier, stronger, comforted, and have your life more organized. 
Write down the basic tenets of your life philosophy today.
 I came across this idea because I attended college for Philosophy and graduated with the B.A. In it.   So many people say Philosophy is useless and no point in taking it in college. But I took it just for fun and it is not useless or just for academic purposes.    It can help us think more clearly and develop better reasoning abilities.   There are even self-help/personal development Philosophy books designed to help us apply philosophical concepts to our own lives.  Anyway you don’t have to know anything at all about the academic field of Philosophy or go to college to develop your life philosophy or even necessarily read a self-help book.   They can all be supplements.  And you can learn so much about philosophers and their philosophies online. Much of it is old and not copyrighted. 
We even have our own ten commandments! The Ten Commandments of Philosophy!
Check it out:

https://sites.google.com/site/degatzia/thetencommandmentsofphilosophy

But really, all you have to do is think of qualities you would love to have or strengthen in yourself.   Think of qualities you adore in other people, think of thoughts that help you. What are your values? Virtues? Principles? Strong beliefs? Think them through and put them together to develop the basic foundation of your own life philosophy.   As I have said though, it’s ok to change it when/if your core beliefs and values change but it’s good not to let depression, fear, pain, negativity change it in a negative way like make you decide to kick it to the curb for good or for too long. After it becomes your Way and is deeply ingrained in you, it will be much easier to live by.

I hope you will begin to develop your basic life philosophy today. You can add to it everyday.   It may always be a work in progress, not a complete destination.  Just like you yourself.   And that’s for the best. We’re always learning, evolving, becoming and it’s interesting that way!

Here’s an idea for a life handbook:

http://personalexcellence.co/blog/create-your-life-handbook/

Also, here’s a list of Philosophy texts online :
http://onlinebooks.library.upenn.edu/webbin/book/subjectstart?B

And for your amusement :

Unsolvable problems in philosophy/unanswerable questions 

http://io9.com/5945801/8-philosophical-questions-that-well-never-solve

http://a-misconception.blogspot.com/2010/09/list-of-unsolved-philosophy-problems.html?m=1

http://pespmc1.vub.ac.be/ETERQUES.html

And here you have free access to an online textbook “Introduction to Philosophy.”

http://www.qcc.cuny.edu/SocialSciences/pPecorino/INTRO_TEXT/default.htm

28.) Do you want to be wildly entertained and put your intellectual skills to use?!  And also be pulling out your hair?! You’re in luck!   Check out these fascinating legal puzzlers!! They will blow your mind. And seriously, they have no definite conclusions! You may think you have it all figured out but there’s always more thoughts and conclusions out there, it is tantalizing! And I wouldn’t have it any other way! ;-D In college, Temple University,  in my philosophy of law class, we were introduced to some of these!

http://people.brandeis.edu/~teuber/puzz1.html

List of Jobs I would love to have! :-D <3

Here’s a list for part of the 30 Day List challenge! I was searching for jobs of my interest online. I only work at a store right now which I love! But I also would love another job!

It’s hard to get a job with very little work experience other than working at a store!

List of jobs I would love to have! Ones that I’m qualified for because of the education I have (B.A. In psych and Phil) Not in any specific order

1.) Peer specialist – helping people with mental health conditions live a happy, healthy life. Using my own experience to help inspire and show empathy to others with similar conditions. 

2.) Mental health counselor 

3.) job in business – maybe marketing or advertising, working with teams helping a business grow and expand, helping members with personal growth and teamwork…
It’s hard though finding jobs available in this field because there’s so many, many scams for this topic. Some to rip off the person applying, others to use innocent, unknowing applicants to rip off others. Some people have been selected for the job only to find out later they were unknowingly working with a fraud company ripping people off, scamming and illegal  stuff!

4.) life coach – helping guide people on whatever journey they want to take like career, finances, other stuff..
– I need more life experience for this job though! I believe I have the potential and other skills for this job and with more of my own experience I would probably be great at it!

5.) working with special needs kids – I have so much love and patience which is something most people need but “special needs” kids often need extra care which I’m so ready to provide! I value every single person and understand that each and every person has their own unique gifts, struggles, needs, and desires and potential. And I can work closely with kids or adults to help with their own situations. 

6.) adoption consultant – I would love, love, love to help children and families find each other and expand their families, making the process go more smoothly and showing compassion and encouragement throughout.   This is one of the best gifts ever! A birth mother who isn’t ready for or doesn’t want any kids and selflessly gives her biological child a more appropriate family and an adoptive family opening their hearts to a child to give the best life possible and lavish all the love they have onto their new family memeber!   Yes, I would love to be part of that!  

7.) psychiatric technician – worker in a mental health hospital or department, assisting therapists and psychiatrists to help patients. They often work closely with patients and help them with recovery and stabilization and sometimes do fun, healing  activities  with them like exercises, arts and crafts, group therapy..

8.) paralegal/assistent – I have a B.A. In philosophy and I’m very interested in law and legal studies, took lots of law related classes in college and would love to try out a job of this sort!

9.) Server – I love my job at the store. I love serving people and preparing their orders, meeting so many different kinds of people.   Even if I had a counseling/paralegal/consultant…job I would love one or two days a week at a restaurant or cafe or something serving people. Nothing can replace that feeling. The happy families, the little kids, the amazing smiles when I make someone an ice cream sundae! It’s a low-paying job, not a real “real” job, not an important job but at the moment people come to the store, it’s important to them. It’s important to be kind and friendly, important to be attentive to their needs and desires, important to guarantee their satisfaction to the best of my abilities.   You probably wouldn’t think this but seven years of working at a store really, really prepared me for future work as a counselor/technician or whatever I will eventually become. It’s nowhere near as challenging as being a counselor for people with mental illness or children with “special needs” but I learned more how to interact with people and tend to their needs. I have more experience with compassion and patience. I have become less shy and more open. I have learned so much.  
There’s also the challenging struggle of doing what’s best for the business while also assuring the satisfaction and contentment of the customers. There have been occasions where the interest of the business and the interest of the customer has clashed and I had to choose. I am very people oriented so I tend to choose the customer.   Their needs trump the needs of the business. Now, I never put the business out but I do what’s best for the person first when it comes to it. Finding the appropriate balance is essential. 
Sometimes people want a small ice cream for their kids but in a large cup so it doesn’t spill all over. That’s against our rules but it is a very reasonable request.   I have been known to break that rule on occasion.  I have learned more because of this struggle.
Most of my experience here is very pleasant. 

While most of these jobs require a more advanced education like a college degree, I think that’s not even important.   What IS important is having love, empathy, compassion, understanding, and patience for the people we’re working with. No one needs an education or degree for that!
I loved college and learned so much and was able to grow in ways I wouldn’t have without it. Each and every class I took and each and every professor/instructor/teaching assistent I have come across opened me in various, deeper ways. I learned many invaluable things that impact me for the better today. Some I can’t explain in words but can just feel it. Many lessons I learned in college go beyond the classrooms and books and academic things.
College was for ME! I always loved school and learning. I was never a genius or straight A student or involved in all extracurricular activities but I did love the classroom and people all throughout school/college.   I would never allow myself to even miss a day of school if I could help it in K-12. No matter what the weather was like, no matter how much pain I was in, no matter how tired, no matter how much my mom tried to persuade me to stay home for whatever reason like unsafe weather. Or pain,  …I rarely got sick so I was able to go every day for many years without missing one day. And I loved it!
 Even though I’m in debt I don’t regret my choice to go to college! But I do believe most of the most important lessons I learned in this life are not ones I learned in school. And college is not for everyone.   I think the two most important reasons to go to college are if you know the job you want definitely requires a degree in college OR you are genuinely just interested in learning more, taking classes…not because you feel you need a college education because society or your family and others demand it. or because you feel like people who go to college have more of some sort of status(it’s nonsense in my opinion), not because of the social aspect. That’s my opinion though, it’s really up to you!   Some people have a true calling that doesn’t involve going to college and that’s just as great as the ones who have a calling which does involve it, like me.

You can get a job without a degree. It’s often harder but not impossible.   You can be just as intelligent without a degree as someone who has one. There are people who never attended college and know more than I do, have more money and impressive jobs! And it’s never too late to decide to go to college later no matter how old you are. You’re going to be that age anyway! So don’t let it hold you back.

I hope you will follow your heart with “big” decisions like this.   Not the heart of society or the heart of your friends or family.   YOUR heart. You can respect their suggestions and have gratitude for their attempts to help, while still following your own path. It’s your journey so be true to you. And it’s not the end of the world if you make mistakes or change your mind and realize college or a certain job really isn’t for you after you get in or if you realize it is for you and you’re doing something else. It’s never too late!   As long as you’re living. Remember no matter how long you have been traveling down the wrong road, as long as you’re alive, it’s never too late to turn around and begin again.

Xoxo Kim

Lovin’ might be a mistake but it’s worth makin’

Risk
“To laugh is to risk appearing the fool. 
To weep is to risk being called sentimental.
To reach out to another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your ideas, your dreams in front of a crowd is to risk being called naive.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To hope is to risk despair, to try is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken because the greates risk in life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing does nothing, has nothing, and becomes nothing.
He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love and live. Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave, he has forfeited his freedom.
Only the person who risks is truly free.”
-Janet Rand

I came across this poem recently and I agree with almost the entire thing. The only part I do not agree with is the “…and becomes nothing.” part. I get the gist of it but I would never call someone “nothing” no matter what. We are all someone.  

I always say that I find inspiration and beauty everywhere. And it’s true.   Many things inspire me deeply. But sometimes, on more seldom occasions, I find something that pulls on my insides. Like this poem. It’s a physical tugging feeling inside, like it’s literally pulling on me. These words speak to me so much and I know they will inspire me and guide me in all the days to come. Moments when I’m tempted to hold back. Hesitate and contemplate not reaching out or speaking up or not allowing myself to fill with hope out of fear of losing, falling, rejection, stumbling, someone not appreciating something I say/do……

But I will keep remembering to reach out anyway, love deeply anyway, be happy anyway, hope anyway, risk stumbling and falling, risk rejection, risk the indifference of someone I have much gratitude for, risk appearing stupid in front of others, risk people using things against me later that I reveal now, risk it all for love. Love for others, for the world, for myself, for life, for raw honesty and openness and sharing….

Risk it all to live deeply and truly. Risk it all to be fully alive. Pain, indifference, rejection, painful criticism, appearing to be something negative to others…all of these things feel unpleasant but they are part of living truly and deeply. They are sometimes the result of taking risks and I believe they are worth it.

We can close ourselves off to the world, shut up and shut down to avoid loss and rejection and other unpleasant things and we may succeed in that for the most part. But we will also succeed in not getting the most out of the gift of life. If we don’t allow ourselves to experience the depth of relationships with ourselves, others, life, and the world, we’re less likely to feel true loss and rejection but also less likely to experience the joy and depth of true love. If we don’t reach out to people we can often avoid rejection but at the price of avoiding true connection. Is it really worth the cost?

If we don’t share our opinions and stories with others, we will be less likely to be ridiculed and criticized but also be less likely to inspire and impact people and allow people to get to know us.  

Repressing love, emotions, and our true selves accomplishes those things but at the price of not being fully alive.

And reminders now and then like this poem are so pleasant and joyous.

The painful struggles that come with taking risks can be used to our advantage. To help us grow and learn, teach others, and identify with others.

” Livin’ might mean takin’ chances but they’re worth takin’,
Lovin’ might be a mistake but it’s worth makin'” ~ LeeAnn Womack

Xoxo Kim

Thirty – Three Things I know for sure <3

Here’s my list for Day #4! I have been planning a post like this even before the 30 lists challenge! Here it is! 😀

1.) “Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not.” ~ Samuel Johnson

It’s ok not to like people and not like things they do. But I believe kind is still the best way to be.  I’m generally kind to people and for the most part always have been, even when they’re unkind to me. Many people see it as a flaw or weakness or being naive. But I see it as a strength. I used to believe though, that when someone said or did something really unkind which made me very angry I should retaliate with more unkindness.  Not always but more than I should have. The older I got, the naturally more kind and compassionate I have become even to those who aren’t kind and compassionate.   There were still occasions I was so tempted to seek revenge or say something unpleasant to someone but I intentionally practiced more kindness and compassion, consciously making it my lifestyle, not just occasional acts. And the more I practice and mediated upon kindness, the more kind I have become. Sometimes I have setbacks though and I say something to someone that is less than kind, who does/says something that I don’t like and I later feel the guilt & remorse tearing me up inside. Kindness is always the way to go.

2.) Risking it all for love, pouring my heart out, reaching out in love….expecting/demanding nothing in return, is the way to be. I’m shy and it’s not always easy to reach out to help or compliment someone in person or online. Sometimes even people who aren’t shy may be somewhat hesitant.   “What if that person doesn’t appreciate my help or message?”. “What if I accidentally offend that person?”. “What if I come off as weird or come on too strong?”. “What if the person won’t like me?”. “What if someone just can’t handle too much sap in one message?”……All of these what if’s may come into our heads while contemplating reaching out to people in some way. And some of these what if’s may be real, maybe some people will not appreciate us or our acts of love and random kindness but…..that’s ok! I would prefer to reach out and not be loved, reach out and risk seeming weird or sappy than not reach out at all.   People don’t have to love me for me to love them!

3.) Self – love and acceptance are important and are not the same as conceit and arrogance.   It’s ok to focus on and express your own beauty and goodness.

4.) it’s better to promote what you love than bash what you detest.

5.) “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ~ Rumi

6.) Sometimes intentions really are just as important or more important than actions. Sometimes people intend well but accidentally hurt or offend or fail to do what they tried for some reason. 

7.) The simple, everyday, mundane occurrences in life, tea with friends, reading a book, sunset and sunrise, hugging your dog, playing with your child, are just as important as, sometimes more important than the big things. The job promotions, the vacations, the celebration bashes…..

8.) it’s ok if life doesn’t always turn out how you wanted or planned. It can be just as wonderful, maybe even better.

9.) attitude and perspective is often much more important to our general happiness or misery than what happens in our physical environment.   It’s all how you look at it.

10.)  “A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.” ~ Elbert Hunbard

11.) no matter how long you have been traveling down the wrong road, as long as you’re alive, it’s never too late to turn around and start over.

12.) getting older is a blessing. It gives us more chances to love, be loved, bless and be blessed, learn and teach, grow and have deeper wisdom & beauty.

13.) Gray hair, wrinkles, curves, and laughlines are beautiful.

14.) “Kindness is like snow; it beautifies everything it covers.”

15.) “He who is contented is rich.” ~ Lao Tzu

16.) being kinder than necessary is a strength, not a weakness.

17.) your true character is more important than your reputation.   Who you are matters more than what people think and say you are.

18.) “No act of kindness however small is ever wasted.” Aesop

19.) “I haven’t failed, I have found 10,000 ways that won’t work. ” ~ Thomas Edison

20.) “Where there is love there is life.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi  

21.) You can keep going long after you think you can’t. 

22.) “When the going gets tough, the tough get going. “

23.) “If you realized how beautiful you are, you would fall at your own feet.” ~ Byron Katie

You’re body is amazingly beautiful, all it does to keep you alive each and every day. To keep you healthy enough to live. Even when you’re sick, your body is working hard to keep you going. Think about it. Your heart pumps, your brain regulates everything, your temperature is maintained at a safe level…..your blood flows, your breath lives…

24.) “I may be lonely but I’m never alone. ” ~ Alice Cooper

25.) There are so many beautiful reasons to be happy. There’s always something to smile about. Always something to be thankful for.

26.) At any moment, we can choose to fall to pieces or choose gratitude. I learned this much deeper when I watched a video with Amy Gill, a girl who lost her twenty-four day old daughter to a birth condition.  

http://365grateful.com/

27.) at any given moment we can think of a list of reasons why our lives suck but at that same moment we can think of a list of reasons why our lives are simply amazing.   The choice is yours.  

28.)  Hopelessness isn’t always despair. Sometimes hopelessness is letting go, accepting what we desperately want can not or probably will not be, and letting go, moving forward. Hope is beautiful and essential but it can also hold us back if we aren’t careful. We shouldn’t put happiness on hold hoping for better or more.  I learned this better by reading things by Dr. Dan Gottlieb, a Philadelphia psychologist who experienced his own tragedies including the loss of people he loves and the permanent  loss of his ability to walk whe he was in a serious accident.

http://www.drdangottlieb.com/

29.) “You can be greater than anything that can happen to you.” ~Norman Vincent Peale

30.) Strangers are people with lives, stories, a breath, a face, and a name. They may not be someone you know or love but they are just as important.   They are still someone.

31.) people can have strong opposing views including political and religious views.   We can not like each other’s decisions, actions, opinions, and other things but we can love each other and not judge a whole person for certain things. We can still be friends.

32.) “If the world had a front porch, like we did back then
We’d still have our problems, but we’d all be friends
Treatin’ your neighbor like he’s your next of kin
Wouldn’t be gone like the wind
If the world had a front porch, like we did back then” ~ Tracy Lawrence 

33.) “You don’t owe me a thing, I’ve been there too
Someone once helped me out,
Just the way I’m helping you
If you really want to pay me back,
Here’s what you do
Don’t let the chain of love end with you” ~ Clay Walker

30 Days of Lists – Day #3 Art Journaling Tips & Ideas

I have always loved journals, drawing, writing…but I would always start a journal then eventually stop until a while later, lose it, and start a new one. I never knew why exactly until recently.   I have never been a perfectionist at all but I have felt low occasionally for not being some definition of perfect.  I never usually tried to be perfect at most things but I wanted to be without even trying and felt low for not being that way. The reason I always give up journaling/drawing and stuff, I realized is, I have terrible handwriting and drawing skills. I always knew that but never quite realized, consciously, that my view of it was interfering with me. If you look at my handwriting you will seriously think a first grader wrote it! It’s not my choice either!   I can’t write neat or small. It’s very large and sloppy.  It’s funny though and I laugh about it.  

A stranger once saw my handwriting and said I have serial killer handwriting.   His teacher told him that when he was young, he said. Lol!

And when I write in cursive I can’t even understand it myself. So yeah. 

And when I draw, it looks like a little kid’s artwork. But I have finally come to accept that it doesn’t matter. It’s still healing and still fun and still great to draw and write in journals. It’s different than writing in an online blog or in a memos section in some electronic device. Both are great! But journaling in a notebook is more of a “hands on” experience. 

So I won’t let my serial killing handwriting get in the way any longer!  

I love looking at people’s art journals online. It inspires me and is aesthetically pleasing. But I have found myself occasionally comparing myself to those people with me coming up short.   “Why can’t I draw that good?” “why couldn’t I think of that?!” “why doesn’t mine look that artistic?” “how can she do that and not me?!?!”

But I decided to silence that monster and just focus on what I’m doing right. It’s art journaling, it can’t ever be wrong!   I let those other journals inspire and please me more than make me distressed or envious that my skills aren’t that great.   It’s a hobby, not a job that must be perfect.  

I am so thankful that I now realize why I never stick with artistic stuff. Because I get fed up with my handwriting and lack of skills. And I’m thankful I now realize that it doesn’t have to be an issue.   Comparing ourselves to others in negative ways is an ugly thing. Now let’s stop.

I recently began a new art journal.   And I will stick with it. I will fill it up with kiddy drawings and serial killer handwriting until it’s overflowing and be very proud! ;-D

So today I am listing some ideas for journal entries and some tips. This is somewhat new for me and I’m just learning and exploring and haven’t tried a lot of this.   So if you’re also new to it, we can learn and explore together!  

And if your an expert already give me some tips! Lol

Some of these I thought of completely on my own, others are inspired by other places I seen.
And I will add the links where I got some ideas at the end of this post.

1.) song lyrics – try to capture some lyrics to a song that has some sort of meaning to you. Maybe write the lyrics and draw around them or not write them in words but draw them out. Maybe scenes of a song or just the emotions they inspire in you.

2.) quotes – do the same as above but with a quote 

3.) draw yourself as your favorite character in a book you read. Pretend that’s you. How do you feel? Put yourself in that character’s place.

4.) least favorite character  – step outside your comfort zone and try the above suggestions but instead draw yourself as the villain or your least favorite character! 

5.) random scene – choose a random scene out of a book. Maybe randomly flip to a page and draw what you see/read on that page. Or search your memory for just some scene and bring it alive in your journal.

6.) favorite scene – do the above suggestion but choose one of your favorite scenes instead of a random one. Or even draw your least favorite or uncomfortable scene!

7.) Be inspired by something you always wanted to do – Is there something you want to do so badly but just never have? I have for so long wanted to dress up in a beautiful dress and go to some fancy expensive restaurant for no reason other than just because! Lol I wear just pants and shirts everyday. I dont have much money and whenever I got dressed up before and hair done it was for some big occasion like a graduation, a wedding, prom or whatever.   Imagine going all out, getting all dolled up for no reason other than sheer pleasure?! Some people may think it’s a waste but to me it’s just a thrill! :-D. I don’t plan on making a habit of it. I’m not materialistic generally but once in a blue moon is ok! Everyday of your life is a special occasion! 

8.) worst pain you have ever felt – art journaling is healing for both physical and emotional pain. It can help ease the pain sometimes but even if it doesn’t it can help us cope with the pain. I have a depressive disorder that doesn’t get cured but comes and goes in symptoms and full blown episodes. Many days now it’s like I don’t even have it. But I do and it always comes back. Art journaling is amazing for coping. Also, I have a physical pain disorder.   A chronic facial/head pain disorder. It’s so bad and interferes with my life when it flares up badly like right now. Like my depression, it comes and goes.   But with the physical disorder I am usually always in some degree of pain, often mild. The mild usually doesn’t interfere with my happiness or my life in general. It’s just there. But the moderate to severe pain is pure raw agony and I feel so broken.   So very broken. There’s no safe, effective medical treatments, just home remedies that help. Sometimes severe flare ups come frequently over and over lasting for days to weeks. Sometimes they don’t show up for months and months. They come on without warning. Sometimes waking me in the middle of sleep.  Since there’s very little I can do to ease them after they appear, I have to find ways to handle them and cope with the pain. Healthy ways.  Physical movement and expression of the pain often help. Like I said, not help alleviate the pain usually but just cope with it.
Sharing comforting quotes with others when I’m in pain, knowing I may be helping someone else, helps me too.   I can’t bear the thought of knowing there’s others in the depth of pain I’m in. And even worse! I can’t fathom it. But capturing my pain in writing and drawing helps so much. Physical pain brings with it, emotional pain, panic, and fear, distress…and it’s important to handle it effectively. 

9.) a moment you felt shocked – draw/paint how it feels to be shocked.

10.) let your unconscious mind and hand lead the way – don’t think, just draw or paint or write or cut out and glue….see what you create.

11.) What does love feel like to you ? Capture it

12.) your idea of beauty – what does beauty feel like?

13.) capture a poem you like in an image 

14.) draw a fantasy you have

15.) capture a dream you once had while you slept or the feelings it provoked or still provokes in you

16.) capture yourself exactly as you are but with one difference – maybe something you have been wanting to change about yourself or something you would never want to change about you. Maybe this can make you more grateful for all that you currently are or motivate you to change that one thing for the better.  

17.) draw a feeling you used to love when you were little – I have always loved being in school with all the other kids. Especially when we would do unusual activities like turn the lights off and watch a movie or have a holiday celebration. I still remember how it felt. How it felt to be a child. A child in school with all other kids doing fun activities.   I can never feel that again in a  moment because I will never be a kid again. And I will never literally be in that place again.  But I cherish the memories and would love to capture them in an artistic way.

17.) meditative experience – try to meditate while creating.   Literally try to feel what you are capturing, doing, feeling. Feel it. Don’t just draw mechanically or make it obligatory. Try to live in the moment 

18.) don’t just focus on the end result. Savor the process of creating.   Sometimes I have trouble with this. I can’t wait to see my masterpiece and I neglect to cherish the very process of creating. 

19.). Try not to force your journal to only be a certain way. Let it flow.   It doesn’t all have to be positive or profound.   It can be sometimes negative and sometimes “trivial.”. Every entry doesn’t have to be pretty or have some great meaning or underlying message.  

20.) what’s it like to be very scared? What’s your biggest fear whether it can really happen or not.

21.) What is it to be lonely?

22.) to actually be alone? 

23.) Express, draw, paint…how it felt when you were rejected? maybe for a job or a university. By a potential lover or friend or family member.

24.) keep in mind that your content doesn’t have to make sense to anyone, not even yourself. It can be abstract, confusing, mysterious, and nonsensical. Even if you decide to share it, you don’t have to feel the need to explain it.  I love a little mystery.   My favorite kind of poetry and artwork is obscure kind. Especially when it kind of seems to make sense but doesn’t.   I often like to write, poetically, without explanation . And when I read poems and view artistic stuff by others, I love when they don’t explain it. I love drawing my own implications or interpretations.   But you certainly can explain if you want! You just shouldn’t have to feel like it’s your obligation. 

25.) Express your gratitude list artistically

These are just suggestions; I’m in no way saying they are the only right way and anything else is wrong.   Some of these are great for some people and not others. Do what’s best for you, of course, even if above I stated something else.  

Your journal doesn’t just have to be about drawing or painting or coloring. You can cut things out and glue it onto your pages. Someone suggested old pieces of mail, glue it on and color or paint over it. Cut out magazine pieces or cloth and glue it on. Anything you can think of!

My journal doesn’t look anywhere nearly as artistic as some I have seen! But instead of viewing that in a negative light, I see it as a fun challenge! I have all these blank pages to make more and more creative and soon mine will be looking great!

I have drawing pencils, watercolor paints & pencils, colored pencils, markers, magazines, and glue and scissors for now.

Just by starting this new journal very recently and listing these here today, I learned even more about myself. I found a deeper part of me. A part I forgot about. I was able to summon some old experiences, feelings, memories that I forgot about but are still very important.  I learned some new or forgotten fears, how really capable I am of healing and coping, how deeply certain things both old and new have affected me in both good and bad ways.

I have been able to somewhat distract myself and push the physical pain and my fear of it to the back burner of my mind as I focus on this.

Remember you don’t have to show your art journal entries to anyone!   It’s up to you. Even though I’m very shy, I’m also very open about my experiences, emotions, opinions…and I don’t mind sharing with people. I love to. But many people say they love knowing their journal is just for them, never for anyone else to lay eyes on. No one else has to judge it, critique it, or know of its content.

As open as I am, I like to share most of my ideas and things with people on and offline. But sometimes it does feel very good to have a secret of my own. Not because the secret is too embarrassing or awkward to let people know but just because it’s a little thrilling having some things only I know. I don’t make that a habit but there are a few things I like selfishly keeping to myself!   Lol. One example is my dreams at night. I dream often and frequently remember them. And for some reason I like keeping lots of my dreams to myself. Again, not because they’re embarrassing or fear of judgment but it’s sweet just having something for me! Lol
I love remembering dreams I had and knowing there’s no one else in the entire world who knows this but me.

It’s especially thrilling since I’m not usually like that and I usually share so much about myself.

So it’s up to you to share or not to share your journal entries!   What I would really recommend though is that you decide only after your entry is done If you will share or not. Go into it deciding that this is just for you and that you won’t share with anyone. Then when it’s done you can decide to share if you want. I recommend this because if you decide that you will show people your entries before you complete them, you may unconsciously hold back something or feel too pressured that it has to be perfect or at least presentable, something that others will appreciate. You may unconsciously start to create more for other people than for yourself.   This defeats the purpose of art journaling. Your art journal is not a public blog for yourself and everyone who comes across it. It’s for you and only you.  

It’s meant to be healing, expressive, creative and if you feel pressured to make it a certain way then you may not get the most out of it. So be all that you can be, do what is best for you and only you then decide if it’s meant for anyone else’s eyes.

If you have any tips or ideas or any links to pages about art journals please let me know! Whether you are also somewhat new to art journaling, already have been engaging in this for a while, or never tried it! I would love any ideas! All are valuable to me! Thank You!!

Thank You so so much to everyone who reads, shares, likes, “likes,” and comments on my content! I appreciate you so much!!! And I hope you find something helpful here.

Xoxo Kim

P.s. I totally forgot the links!!

Here you are:

http://www.blacksburgbelle.com/2010/10/50-art-journal-prompts/

30 Days of Lists – Day #2 Personal Medicines

Again, I wrote a whole blog post and lost it, last night/Friday. It’s now early Saturday afternoon. 
I have off work today which is unusual for a Saturday and I’m going out with my good friend, Mike, tonight!
 My phone has been acting up and every app/icon I use randomly and automatically just clicks off without warning. So here I am writing it over! And like always when I lose my writings, it will be better than the original! That’s my policy. When I tragically lose something long that I write, I rewrite it better!

Yup! Let the pain make you BETTER, not bitter!

;-D

Last night/Thursday night I was having difficulty sleeping because of my chronic facial pain disorder.   My face wasn’t throbbing too badly but it was exhausted and tired. Lol It sounds funny that just my face can be exhausted! But it’s a very unpleasant feeling!   My disorder has more symptoms than just pain. And facial exhaustion and tiredness is one of them. And it doesn’t always let me sleep.

And one occasion when I woke up during the night, I thought of the 30 day list challenge and realized it really is quite a challenge!   I can come up with so many lists but I want interesting ones!   

I was trying to think of a list and couldn’t think of a really good one other than a list of books. But I want to list my favorite books on a “Page” at the top, not as a blog post.

Then Friday at my psychiatric appointment I was asked to compose a list! A list of “Personal Medicines.”  In this context, “medicines” is not drugs or anything we put into our bodies but, coping mechanisms and things that help us heal our mental illnesses and maintain a good mood and wellbeing.

The mental health professionals at this clinic believe strongly that our healing, recovery, and maintaining general wellbeing is much more than just talk & drug therapy.   It’s about attitude, lifestyle, and healthy activities along with professional treatment like drug/talk therapy.

So every visit to this clinic now we are asked to list our “Personal Medicines.” It’s the new policy.  Some patients view this as a hassle but I like it a lot!   I agree that maintaining good mental health when we struggle with a disorder really is more than just professional treatment.

Personal Development/Self Help techniques are important as well.

Here’s my list.

1.) quotes – reading, writing, sharing positive or thought provoking quotes 

2.) reading – self-help, novels, and philosophy books/writings 

3.) walking 

4.) photography – taking pics and being creative

5.) meditation

6.) talking to people/petting animals

7.) helping people

8.) writing 

9.) gratitude practices – lists, meditations, photos…

http://365grateful.com/

Check out Amy Gill’s story on this website. The video is on the front page. It’s heartwrenching and beautiful and deeply inspiring.

10.) Art journaling

11.) sharing quotes and my own stories

12.) working on a life handbook – a book of goals, uplifting ideas, values, dreams, quotes, whatever ways you want to live your life.

http://personalexcellence.co/blog/create-your-life-handbook/

13.) posting here on the blog

I wouldn’t expect a seriously depressed person to do one or all of these things and always automatically be uplifted or cured. Depression is not just a low mood; it’s a serious illness, a terrible sickness and nothing can just pull someone out of it usually. But with practice we can learn to cope with and sometimes prevent severe flare ups and with practice we can sometimes be somewhat uplifted even when we’re truly depressed. These things help me immensely because I practice them every day and take them seriously, every day, not just lightly every now and then. And not only when I’m depressed.

Since May 2010 I have been working on maintaining a positive life philosophy and practicing personal development/self-help techniques to help me cope with pain, both physical and emotional. And just to have happiness & joy in general.   It has to be learned, practiced, and applied.   Depression has biochemical underpinnings but it’s also psychological and self help techniques can help to a certain extent.   But throwing an uplifting quote at a very depressed person, expecting it to lift the person out of the illness,  can likely just make it worse for the person, seeming like no one understands. But when a person with depression seeks professional help and works on the inner self, reads positive quotes/ideas often, meditates upon them, develops and seriously maintains a life philosophy and positive attitude, making serious attempts to get better and view life in a positive way, it is very helpful and an incredible experience. 

Succumbing to depression, giving into negative thinking, unnecessary self criticism, viewing life and the whole world as vicious and cold and cruel, contemplating suicide are all very detrimental and it takes so much to avoid them. It takes energy, strength, courage that often seems impossible to muster, to avoid giving in, but it is possible and worth it. I know. I used to live in a cold, dark place. It felt so cruel. So hopeless and wrong. Life felt wrong and worthless and useless. But I found my way. I still slip back there once and a while but I found ways to cope until I am genuinely happy again.

Just because I’m depressed doesn’t mean I have to act depressed.

My life philosophy that I can handle anything and that I must stay alive, that life IS great even when it hurts, that just being alive is my purpose and just being alive is a grand thing has become so ingrained in me that even when I get just as severely depressed as I used to, I can cope much better, breeze right through it and no longer become dangerously suicidal. Often, positive quotes and songs do help me now because of the practice of self-help techniques and controlling my thinking.   They confirm and remind me of what I already know. It still hurts when I am hit hard with depression, I still have suicidal thoughts, I still feel hopeless sometimes and worthless for what, often, seems like no reason at all. But these feelings often, no longer overwhelm me or consume me like they used to.  

Something inside has shifted. It’s a strange feeling to become just as severely depressed as I have been for many years but now have hope and still a desire for life.

It feels strange to see a way to die and not want to take advantage of the opportunity like I always, ALWAYS wanted to do for many years.   It’s a strange thing to want to live. Strange, nearly fourteen years, nearly every day I wanted to die.  And the two years before that I did not care if I lived or died.   It feels weird not to have to struggle against overwhelming urges to take myself when I see a “perfect” way out.  It’s so bizarre that the thought of killing myself now seems so so wrong when for years and years and years and more years it felt so right. I still have these thoughts but usually now they are just out of habit and not driven by real suicidal feelings. But even when they are still driven by genuine suicidal feelings and true depression, I can endure it.

I now have a desire and a will to live.

I will never get used to this feeling. Not ever. And as I have previously said, I don’t want to.  One year and five months of actually wanting to live. Every single day.  Living voluntarily and not merely out of fear that it won’t work if I try to end my life.  

Sometimes I have to just stop. I’ll be doing some mundane thing. Brushing my teeth maybe, applying my makeup, walking to work, shopping, showering, falling asleep, waking up…and I just stop.   And feel the shock. The awe. The strangeness of not wanting to die. I bask in the beauty of wanting to live.

I’m reeling. 

It’s incomprehensible, hard to fathom and explain.  

I think of all I have learned, read, survived, believe in, and how I have come a long way. And hope fills me. Hope that the episode of depression, when it hits, will end. Love guides me. Inspires me. And so even though the depression does sometimes get as bad as it used to be, I can cope much better. 

People get angry when people share uplifting quotes or tips for coping with depression and anxiety.   They think it’s cruel and cold and not understanding, thoughtless.   And it can be, depending upon the attitudes and intentions of those posting /saying them. But they CAN also be very helpful when shared appropriately, compassionately.

Let’s not assume every depressed and anxious person can engage in some little self-help technique and be magically cured.   It’s not like that.   And what works for one may not work for another. Let us encourage people to seek help and healing, to seek what is right for them.

Let’s bring hope & warmth to those in the cold, darkness.

I encourage you to make your own list of things to help you with low moods whether they are just normal low moods we may all experience now and then or severe depressive episodes. Practice. Practice. Practice. Sometimes they’ll uplift you. And sometimes they’ll just help you cope. But they are very important to consciously, intentionally maintain.  

I believe that no matter how happy you are, taking part of your days to do fun, healing activities just for you will make you even happier and healthier.

Much love to you all.

Xoxo Kim

P.S.

Have you tried the Molten Hot Lava chocolate cake at Arby’s?!?! It’s Heaven on Earth!

I had it before now and loved it but each day I get it it seems to get better and better!   Yum! And the jalapeño poppers & onion rings! Goodness! Mmnnmm!

My family got food in the drive through Friday night and it cost over $30.00 and my dad said to the man “that’s expensive!!” and the man said “you’re hungry tonight.” Lol! Then as we were driving away the man said “If you can’t be good, be great.” I love it and will always remember that.

If you can’t be good, be great.

30 Days of Lists – Day #1 Inspirational Songs

I have been working on this post for a few days now.

Recently I came across an interesting blog challenge called “30 Days of Lists.” I can’t find the source now but it’s a challenge where everyday we compose a list for any topic we want. They provided some examples like: things about yourself, words you really dislike, places you want to visit….and you can make up your own lists.

Today I’m going to do a list of some of my favorite positive/inspirational songs. I have so so many and I will list some now. I love all kinds of songs, happy, sad, sappy, romantic, friendship, fast, loud, slow, death metal, Oldies, country….but my absolute favorite ones are sappy, about love romantic and platonic/friendship, loving everyone…, Oldies and country.   And inspirational, uplifting ones. I think it’s important to have a special play list of just uplifting ones along with all the others, either uplifting in the message or the tunes.   

Songs that will uplift you and not make you sad.    Sad songs are beautiful too and sometimes it’s good to listen to a song that matches your current mood. But sometimes it’s better to listen to a more uplifting song that will inspire you to be happier.

So here’s my list(many of them are country songs) There are twenty – Six here:

1.) Cherish – Kool and the Gang

This is a romantic love song but it can be applied to life in general.   It doesn’t matter if you’re single or taken, in love romantically or not; you can’t take the lesson to heart, applying it everyday. It’s about being incredibly grateful for THIS life right NOW. You never know what will happen in the next instant, what or who will be taken away, what dramatic changes will occur….”Let’s cherish every moment we have been given, the time is passing by.” Remember this life you have currently, the current state you’re in now, it won’t always be the case. Things can and will change for better and for worse. Health changes, life changes, situations change….take right now to feel blessed.

2.) You and Me – Alice Cooper 

Another romantic love song but can be applied to life in general. The message is about realizing what we have IS beautiful. We ARE enough just being us. We don’t have to have some big extravagant job or be financially rich or have some busy, glamorous life to be RICH, happy, and so in love with life itself.

“But you and me ain’t no movie stars.
What we are is what we are.
We share a bed,
some lovin’,
and TV, yeah.
And that’s enough for a workin’ man.
What I am is what I am.
And I tell you, babe,
well that’s enough for me.”

“What I am is what I am.
And I tell you, sweetheart
that’s just enough for me.”

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6ur55juZ4Og

3.) The Chain of Love – Clay Walker

Not a romantic love song but a love song just the same. About reaching out in love to those in need whether or not we know them. Strangers are still people, still someone. At one point, we will all be in need of a helping hand and we should all keep that chain of love going.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mVQGQ0wh7eY

“You don’t owe me a thing,
I’ve been there too
Someone once helped me out,
Just the way I’m helping you
If you really want to pay me back,
Here’s what you do
Don’t let the chain of love end with you”

4.) Happy Girl – Martina McBride 

This is a lovely song about a girl who used to be frequently miserable and in a constant state of hopelessness. She walked through life with a heavy heart. Then one day she realized it doesn’t have to be this way. She can be happy. Life can be good. Great.   Beautiful. Amazing. She realized that complaining wasn’t changing the world for the better. So she chose to change for the better. She let’s herself be sad, be happy, feel whatever she feels but she is generally a HAPPY girl now! I love it. I can relate so much to this song! It’s like it was written about me. I was that depressed, sad, lonely, hopeless girl for so long until I chose to change and be happy.

5.) Come Monday – Jimmy Buffett 

I read that one day many years ago Jimmy Buffett was in a hotel room, on tour, I think, and he was in despair and contemplating suicide. But instead of killing himself, he wrote this and it saved his life. I’m so grateful that his life was spared. This is actually a positive song about Monday! About how there’s something to look forward to even when we’re suffering emotionally, in immense pain. When Monday comes, it will all be alright. 

 
“Come Monday, it’ll be all right
Come Monday, I’ll be holdin’ you tight
I spent four lonely days in a brown L. A. haze
And I just want you back by my side

I can’t help it honey
You’re that much a part of me now
Remember that night in Montana
When we said there’d be no room for doubt

I hope you’re enjoyin’ the scenery
I know that it’s pretty up there
We can go hikin’ on Tuesday
With you I’d walk anywhere
California has worn me quite thin
I just can’t wait to see you again”

http://m.youtube.com/watch?list=PLA3CF6E96E781FE63&v=1DnBwdBhS3c

6.) “If the World had a Front Porch” – Tracy Lawrence 

This lovely song is how we should treat everyone as if they’re our own family and friends. We should act lovingly with each other no matter what. It wouldn’t solve all our problems but we would all be friends. It’s reminiscent and nostalgic with the singer remembering how his family would sit on their front porch years ago and all just love each other. I love the warm loving feeling that wells up in me just thinking of this beautiful message.

“If the world had a front porch, like we did back then
We’d still have our problems, but we’d all be friends
Treatin’ your neighbor like he’s your next of kin
Wouldn’t be gone like the wind
If the world had a front porch, like we did back then”

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Y38h55EaHL0

7) You’re a movie. – Alice Cooper

This song is about having amazing self -confidence. Confidence enough to take on the world and give other people strength just by them being in our very presence.  

“Bullets repel off my medals
And my men are in awe when I speak
All chaos my strategies settles
My mere presence gives strength to the weak

For me it seems really alarming
I’m really just only a man
With five million sheep in this army
I seem to be the only one fit to command”

“Another day, another victory
Another gold stripe, another star
Really quite boring sometimes
I wish they’d send someone equal to my strategies

What a guy
I’m really quite a guy”

8.) Every woman has a name  – Alice Cooper

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mVQGQ0wh7eY

This is an amazing, beautiful, sweet, slow song with an incredible message. The message is that every woman is someone. Someone important. Someone with beauty, pain, struggles, a life. No matter how rich or not, no matter what her job or life situation is like. A waitress, a queen or debutante, a Housewife, a girl with a broken heart and struggles. It doesn’t matter, every woman is lovely.

“And even when your world was shakin’
Even when your breath was taken
Even when your blue eyes turned to gray

Small town debutantes and queens
Every woman has a name
Cocktail waitresses with dreams
Every woman has a name
And every girl whose love survives
A broken heart to stay alive
You signed your picture in the frame
Every woman has a name

You had your love affair
Some were perfect but most of them were pain
Seems a hundred years ago
It took you to the highest hill
Left you standing frozen in the rain
But you still feel the afterglow”

9.) 5:00 somewhere -Jimmy Buffett & Alan Jackson 

This song is just really funny and uplifting. He’s stuck at work on a slow summer day and his boss is being an asshole and he decides that even though it’s only the early afternoon he’s getting out since somewhere it is 5:00! Lol

“Pour me somethin’ tall and strong
Make it a hurricane before I go insane
It’s only half past twelve, but I don’t care
He don’t care
And I don’t care
It’s five o’clock somewhere

Jimmy: What time zone am I on?
What country am I in?

Alan: It doesn’t matter

It’s five o’clock somewhere”

10.) Help Me to Heal – Olivia Newton John

Olivia Newton John was tragically afflicted with breast cancer but she survived! And with an amazing attitude!   She chose gratitude. And she wrote and sang songs to help her heal and stay strong. I am so so thankful for her stunning, beautiful songs of hope and healing. To me, they are so delicate but so strong and just like they help her, they help me heal. Since I have depression which comes and goes, it can be difficult to choose gratitude when depression overwhelms me. I don’t like feeling depressed but when I’m depressed, I’m often tempted to just let it consume me. It takes strength and motivation, and so much energy to battle it and not let it really suck me in like a vacuum like it used to, where I would be suicidal and just hopeless for months year after year. I still have severe episodes but I now more often than not remain hopeful without serious suicidal thoughts/urges/contemplation. I can cope so much better when I’m hit with an episode.

“I know I’ll find the strength to fight
If I can trust I’m gonna be alright
So walk me through my darkest fears tonight”

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4jfDm3RKXWc

11.) Learn to love yourself – Olivia Newton John

This song is so beautiful about loving yourself. Self-love is very important and it’s not about conceit or arrogance. It’s about being full and compassionate and loving. Self-love is so healing. No matter how many people love you, you won’t truly be fulfilled, probably, until you truly love you. Other people’s love for you is definitely healing to a certain degree but it’s not enough. Your self love is enough.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CUO4-y-z-Gg

“Youre hurting, uncertain
Alone again
Still searching for someone
But so afraid

And youll try for love
And youll cry for love
Til you learn to love yourself
And youll lie for love
And youll die for love
Til you learn to love yourself..

The answer is sleeping
Inside your heart
True love that you long for
Thats where it starts”

“Breathe it out and breathe it in
Trust the light that shines within
Let it burn til you learn to love yourself
Breathe it out and breathe it in
Trust the light that shines within
Let it burn til you learn to love yourself”

12.) grace and gratitude – Olivia Newton John

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VMCrHv81kgg

“Thank you for life
Thank you for everything
I stand here in Grace and Gratitude
And I thank you …

Seasons come and seasons go
No matter what we choose
A thousand names
A thousand roads
All lead to one simple truth

Thank you for life
Thank you for everything
I stand here in grace and gratitude
And I .. I thank you”

Gratitude is crucial for healing and happiness. It doesn’t cure all problems and doesn’t always take away all pain but it does ease some pain, help us cope, and be happier in general. It shall become a way of life, not just a fleeting attitude. There are different degrees of it. You can be thankful for something you know is a blessing or you can feel it deep into the marrow of your bones, tingling in every bodily cell, Dwelling in your essence. With practice and meditation this can become a frequent reality and help us cope tremendously with anything, loneliness, grief, loss, 
depression, physical pain, anything.

It doesn’t matter what you believe or not, you can believe in a god and thank it or just give thanks to the universe, the world, life.

13.) Life’s a dance- 
JOHN MICHAEL MONTGOMERY

This is a song about just accepting life as it is. Going with the flow, good, bad, painful, beautiful. We learn as we go along. We can’t force life to always be a certain way and always go smoothly so let’s take it as it comes our way. Not just be passive and accept bad things that can be changed.   But accept that life can’t always be controlled.

“Life’s a dance, you learn as you go.
Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow.
Don’t worry ’bout what you don’t know,
life’s a dance, you learn as you go.”

14.) King of wishful thinking – Go West

This song. It’s a breakup song.   A sad one. But it managed to make my inspirational song list! Why?!?! First of all, the tune. It’s uplifting. It’s not sad, dreary, mellow, heartbreakingly devastating. It’s pumped up.  But also the lyrics. As the title of the song shows us, it’s not about positive thinking exactly but wishful thinking. There is a slight difference.   He’s denying his pain over his lost love. I typically do not promote denying our pain. But sometimes, on rare occasions we may just have to fake it til we make it.

“I refuse to give into my blues, that’s not how it’s going to be.”

“I’ll get over you, I know I will. I’ll pretend my ship’s not sinking.” 

Yeah, There’s definitely something positive about this! 

15.) If you’re going through hell – Rodney Atkins

This song is very encouraging! It reminds us to keep going no matter how low we feel. Things get bad. So bad that they just can’t get any worse….but then…they DO get worse! Then we learn the truth that we just keep going!

“Well you know those times when you feel like
There’s a sign there on your back
That says I don’t mind if you kick me, seems like everybody has
Things go from bad to worse
You think it can’t get worse than that
And then they do

You step off the straight and narrow
And you don’t know where you are
Used the needle of your compass, to sew up your broken heart
Ask directions from a genie in a bottle of jim beam
And she lies to you
That’s when you learn the truth

If you’re goin’ through hell keep on going
Don’t slow down if you’re scared don’t show it
You might get out before the devil even knows you’re there”

16.) I’m alive – Willie Nelson 

This is a fantastic song about being thankful for simply being alive.

“It’s so damn easy to say that life’s so hard
Everybody’s got their share of battle scars
As for me, I’d like to thank my lucky stars
That I’m alive and well.

And it’d be easy to add up all the pain
And all the dreams you sat and watched go up in flames
You were on, on the wreckage as it smolders in the rain
But not me, I’m alive

And today you know that’s good enough for me
Breathing in and out’s a blessing, can’t you see?
Today is the first day of the rest of my life”

17.) When the going gets tough – Billy Ocean

“I got something to tell you
I got something to say
I’m gonna put this dream in motion
Never let nothing stand in my way
When the going gets touch
The tough get going

18.) I hope you dance – LeeAnn Womack

This song reminds me to keep going.   It’s about cherishing every single moment we’re blessed to be alive, never taking one breath for granted.

My absolute favorite line is “When you come close to sellin’ out, reconsider.”
It’s a sweet song.

“Livin’ might mean takin’ chances but they’re worth takin’,
Lovin’ might be a mistake but it’s worth makin’,
Don’t let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to sellin’ out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.”

19.) Something worth leaving behind – LeeAnn Womack 

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HqTT59h9aLg&list=PLfqg3Gb_txbQjUvGzl9Qcl6rJKsDDUGX-

This is a beautiful song about how we don’t have to be famous or have some impressive skills or talents to impact someone’s life in a positive way and to be remembered. All we have to do is love. It’s simple but profound.  

20.) Choices – George Jones 

This song is about a somewhat controversial topic, the fact that we do have choices in life and much of where we are is because of choices we made. Even the choice to do nothing is still a choice.   We can’t always choose what happens to us or what other people do. But we can choose how to react, to overcome pain and obstacles, to heal, and to move forward.

” I’ve had choices since the day that I was born
There were voices that told me right from wrong
If I had listened, no I wouldn’t be here today
Living and dying with the choices I’ve made

I guess I’m payin’ for the things that I have done
If I could go back, oh, Lord knows I’d run
But I’m still losin’ this game of life I play
Losing and dying with the choices I’ve made”

Here is a great quote along similar lines:

“Life is like a game of cards. The hand you aredealt is determinism; the way you play it is free will.” – Jawaharlal Nehru 

21.) The Gambler – Kenny Rogers

This song is of a similar concept. It’s not really about gambling but knowing how to get along in life. It’s about learning how to choose our attitude and what to keep in life and what not to keep. Every hand’s a winner and every hand’s a loser. This means that every life no matter what can be viewed as good or as bad. It’s all how we look at it. This message inspires me deeply.  

“Now every gambler knows the secret to survivin’
Is knowin’ what to throw away
And knowin’ what to keep
‘Cause every hand’s a winner
And every hand’s a loser”

22.) Every storm runs out of rain – Gary Allan 

This song is so very comforting. It reminds us that pain heals and we can move forward. Pain and heartache comes and goes and may never go away completely but it can heal and doesn’t always have to be overwhelming and raw.

“Every storm runs, runs out of rain
Just like every dark night turns into day
Every heartache will fade away
Just like every storm runs, runs out of rain.”

23.) She’s got a way- Billy Joel

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=p0iOEOtSyB0

I love this sweet song!   About a girl with love and beauty that can touch people’s lives and inspire greatness in the people she comes across.  

“…I don’t know what it is
But there doesn’t have to be a reason anyway 

She’s got a smile that heals me
I don’t know why it is
But I have to laugh when she reveals me
She’s got a way of talkin’
I don’t know why it is
But it lifts me up when we are walkin’ anywhere

She comes to me when I’m feelin’ down
Inspires me without a sound 
She touches me and I get turned around 

She’s got a way of showin’
How I make her feel
And I find the strength to keep on goin’
She’s got a light around her
And ev’rywhere she goes
A million dreams of love surround her ev’rywhere”

I just melt.

24.) Raindrops keep falling – BJ Thomas

I love this song! It’s about how even when things seem wrong we can still have hope to keep going knowing that eventually happiness will eventually fill our hearts again.

“Those raindrops are fallin’
On my head, they keep fallin’

But there’s one thing I know
The blues they send
To meet me won’t defeat me
It won’t be long till
Happiness steps up to greet me

Raindrops keep fallin’ on my head
But that doesn’t mean
My eyes will soon be turnin’ red

Cryin’s not for me ’cause
I’m never gonna stop the rain by complainin’
Because I’m free, nothin’s worryin’ me”

25.) Eye of the tiger – Survivor 

Some people think this song is too pumped and needs a good toning down. But not me! That vigor is perfect.   I love how pumped it is! It’s perfect with the lyrics and message. A song about doing whatever it takes to survive and keep those dreams alive.

“Risin’ up straight to the top 
Had the guts, got the glory 
Went the distance, now I’m not gonna stop 
Just a man and his will to survive “

I love it!

😀

26.) Livin’ In The Sunlight, Lovin’ In The Moonlight – Tiny T

I don’t worry!
Worrying don’t agree,
Things that bother you,
Never bother me!

Things that bother you,
Never bother me
I feel happy and fine!
AHA!
Living in the sunlight,
Loving in the moonlight
Having a wonderful time!

Haven’t got a lot,
I don’t need a lot
Coffee’s only a dime
Living in the sunlight,
Loving in the moonlight,
Having a wonderful time!

I hope you have found some songs here that inspire you deeply and uplift you like they help me! I have so many more also but as you can see, the list is already long!

Much love & inspiration to you!

Xoxo Kim